Dr Gregory House, M.D. Soundboard Edit

All black people are morons.

And also sucks.

And it's a pompous white man.

Are you sure you're not a neurologist?

Are you too young to remember spandex?

Because I'm just a mean son of a bitch.

Boo

Bring it on.

But who knows, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell.

But why don't you just take out a gun and shoot him?

But you seem like a regular kind of guy, not the type to get another regular guy into trouble, all right?

Can't we just agree that you're incredibly annoying?

Close your legs.

Come on, come on.

Couldn't keep your mouth shut.

Do you ever see raid on antibi?

Doctor Lisa cuddy.

Does that need more explanation?

Don't need to lawyer up.

Either got to prescribe an exorcism or admit to me that Smith was a horny fraud.

Forgive me. Yell at me. Give me something I can work with, OK?

Give me a reason to get out of this, and I'll tell you who started the rumor about you being a transsexual.

Give me blood. Lots of blood.

God's spoken.

Good thing we got that cleared up.

Greg.

He didn't find that interesting.

Hello.

Hello.

Here's a phrase, remember.

Here's the thing.

Hey, here's a radical thought.

Hey, this guy might have been pounded on the head one too many times.

Hi, Greg house.

Hmm, quite a dilemma.

How you doing?

Huh.

I am a board certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology.

I don't negotiate with terrorists.

I forgive you for ruining my jacket.

I get to ask the questions.

I got a case of malt liquor stashed in the trunk. Mr. Marvin Gaye on the CD. We are going to get all the way down.

I guess maybe it skips a generation.

I have a feeling I'm gonna regret this.

I love you.

I need you to take off your pants.

I wanna know. Let's write.

I wouldn't have tortured you if I knew you liked it.

I'm asking you if you want to live or die. You can't even say that.

I'm complicated.

I'm Doctor Gregory house. You can call me Greg.

I'm missing my soap for this.

I'm your boss.

In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat.

It smells like an elephant dung smoothie.

It's basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies.

It's mine. You can't have any.

Keep talking. I'll finish your exam with the prostate check.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have pus.

Man, someone got spanked real good this morning.

Monkey with a bottle of Motrin.

More significantly, a blabbermouth.

No.

Not as big as yours.

Oh, you know me too well.

On average, drug addicts are stupid.

Pleasure to meet you.

Prescription for vaginal estrogen suppositories will help with the lubrication.

Say adios.

So all depends on how evil you've been.

So does it hurt when you tinkle?

Sounds crazy when you put it like that.

Sweet of you to say.

Thank you for taking no interest in my mother.

Thank you.

The guy coming down with a little bit of the clap may have to go home for a few days.

They're on my naughty list.

This is Doctor Gregory house.

This would be a very good time to offer me a bribe.

Times up. Thanks for playing.

To keep a dead cat.

Welcome to hell.

What's interesting is it suddenly doesn't bother you.

Who the hell walks around with an open urine sample?

Who the man? I do man.

Wow, how can you sleep at night?

Wow. Well, you certainly give me a lot to think about.

Wow. You really need to shave.

Yeah, yeah, patronize the poor cripple.

Yeah, you guys can haggle in a minute.

Yeah.

Yes, I want you to tell me that your life is important to you, because I don't know.

Yes.

Yes.

You and I should talk.

You bastard.

You don't like me. I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna like you. It's nothing personal. I don't like anybody.

You don't want more sex.

You ever see those girls gone wild videos?

You idiot.

You wanted to be a doctor. Maybe you should buckle down a little more in high school.

You're a moron.

You're good, my friend. Sure, we'll meet again.

You're welcome.

20 bucks, cash. You'll stop crying.

$100.

ああはあ。