Dr. Laura Soundboard Edit

A lot of you have fax machines attached to telephones, which case when I press start or fax, it won't happen. I'm just going to throw those away. So you need to find a fax machine that actually rec...

Absolutely.

Ah.

And answer the question.

And I hate sex.

And the reason for that is.

And you're already having sex with somebody you don't know.

Are they nice people?

Are you answering my question? You're just going on?

At least I thought about it a few days in advance of leaving, so I'm not sitting in a hotel in Puerto Rico whining.

Because I'll track you down and pinch your head off.

Black guys talking to each other seem to think it's OK.

Black guys use it all the time.

Black guys use it all the time. Turn on HBO, Listen to a black comic and all you hear is.

Can I just ask you a question?

Can you do that?

Can you do this sound?

Can you do this sound? It's called a Raspberry. Can you do that?

Carol.

Catherine.

Chip on your shoulder. I can't do much about that.

Didn't matter what he was going to do in office. It was a black thing.

Do you belong to a church?

Do you have a mother and a father?

Do you make a good living?

Do you swim? Do you run? Do you have an elliptical? Do you jump rope? Do you ride a bicycle?

Do you swim? Do you run? Do you have an elliptical? Do you jump rope? Do you ride a bicycle? What do you do that's very physical?

Do you take citracal every day?

Do you want a husband?

Doctor Laura Schlessinger.

Doctor Laura.

Don't be impatient.

Don't don't get angry. Don't make faces. Don't roll your eyeballs.

Don't giggle.

Don't hang up. I want to talk to you some more.

Don't take things out of context.

Don't you ever ask that first silly question again because I'll track you down and pinch your head off.

Don't you ever ask that first silly question again.

Eat healthy and move your butt.

For what?

Give Me 2 good examples of racist comment.

Give me an example of a racist comment.

Go do the right thing.

Go do the right thing.

God knows I have stress.

Good.

Goodness gracious me.

Gotta go brush my teeth.

Ha ha ha ha.

Haha 3

Hi mom. How you doing? Just thought I'd call and, you know, connect.

Hi, mom.

Hi.

Hmm.

How old are you?

How soon is it OK to kiss and hug?

How you doing?

I asked you very specifically.

I did the wrong thing.

I didn't call anybody a.

I didn't intend. To hurt people, but I did. And that makes it the wrong thing to have done.

I don't have any.

I don't think that's racist.

I got to tell you, I got lost in all of that.

I gotta tell you, I got lost in all of that. And don't go through it again. I don't. I don't. I'll get lost in again. If somebody starts giving me a lot of data, I I really, my mind goes numb.

I have no answer to that.

I just need an answer to my question.

I know it sounds a little rude, crude and socially unacceptable for me to throw that in right now and make it sound callous.

I mean, I just want to know.

I mean, I think that's hilarious.

I really don't care.

I really thought that once we had a black president, the attempt to demonize whites hating blacks would stop.

I speak from personal experience.

I take citracal calcium citrate every day.

I want to tell you that I agree with you.

I was attempting to make a philosophical point and I articulated the N word all the way out more than one time. And that was wrong.

I was going to be going to Puerto Rico next week.

I was going to go out and play basketball. My bodyguard and my dear friend is a black man, and I said white men can't jump. I want you on my team.

I'll say it again. That was wrong.

I'm 67 years old, married 45 years to a good, faithful man, mother of an adult daughter, grandmother of two little girls. I'm also a college graduate, the retired head of a large public agency, and...

I'm doctor Laura schlessinger.

I'm going to put you on hold and talk to you in a couple of days.

If anybody would have enough, melanin says. That it's a horrible thing, but when black people say it, it's affectionate.

If you're that hypersensitive about color and don't have a sense of humor, don't marry out of your race.

If you're the woman and you have herpes, it's an issue when you're giving birth.

Is it one 2-3 minutes and you're already having sex with somebody you don't know?

Is it one 2-3 minutes, three hours, three days, 3 days and you're already having sex with somebody you don't know?

Is that true?

It depends how it's said.

It was a black thing.

It's called a Raspberry.

Jaja.

Laura.

Let's play a tiny little game.

My bodyguard and my dear friend is a black man, and I said white men can't jump. I want you on my team.

My pleasure.

My question to you is.

Never say it again.

Nice try, jade.

No.

No.

No.

Not a chance.

Not happening.

Nothing.

Now go do the right thing.

Oh, don't ask me silly questions, I resent it.

OK.

OK.

OK.

On HBO listening to Black Commex, you hear.

Raspberry

Really.

Shut up.

So don't ask me silly questions. Go ahead. Now ask me the real good one.

So what?

Sorry.

Susan.

That's a silly question. I'm telling you right out. That's a silly question.

That's cruel.

That's just sickening.

That's not a surprise.

That's why I tell people, make sure you know somebody a long time before you get married.

Then I guess you don't watch HBO or listen any black comedians.

There are nice guys in the world and there are creeps in the world, and it's your responsibility to discern the difference between the two and pick the right one.

There are times you just have too much stress.

This is doctor Laura.

This is the most bizarre sounding thing.

This is your responsibility.

Trust me.

We had friends over the other day, got about 35 people here. The guys were gonna start playing basketball.

Welcome to the program.

Well, everybody is from time to time. That's human nature.

What can I do for you?

What do you do that's very physical?

What time is it where you are?

When I ask questions like that, it's so that I can understand what's going on.

Where is your biological father?

Why don't you let me finish a sentence?

Why don't you shut up?

Why would you even want to think that?

Why would you want to believe that?

Without giving much thought, a lot of blacks voted for Obama simply because he was half black.

Yeah, I was going to be going to Puerto Rico next week.

Yeah, we got a black man as president, and we have more complaining about racism than ever.

Yes, they did.

Yes.

You be your mother, and I will be you.

You focus everything you have.

You got to know that.

You know why I'm saying it's a silly question.

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