Sanford and Son (1972) - Season 1 Edit

A Beginner's Guide to Better Bowling.

A Bible? Pop, you stole a Bible?

A car. What do we need with a car?

A cat yowling at midnight means there's gonna be a death in the house.

A cold you can get rid of in three days. A speckled hat you'll have forever.

A couple of days at the ocean will really do you good, Pop.

A fella stayed in the house all night with a coffin...

A lightbulb. You swiped all this stuff. What'd you do that for?

A little brandy will be just the thing for you.

A little Chico Hamilton.

A little joke from my profession.

A little? He said 9:00, and it's after 10:00.

A lot of men wear 'em nowadays, so what's wrong with that?

A man like to believe that's him in the ring winning...

A new color TV.

A real dummy.

A ring.

A scientist dug up a mummy 3,000 years old.

A system, like.

A thing of beauty, class.

A victim your age taking on four assailants.

A whole lot of people like to wear it like that.

Abraham got married when he was over a hundred.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely. He should have familiar surroundings.

After all, he is your father, and you ought to show some respect.

After I got that jerk standing next to me to take it for 1,500.

After I've worked for you all these years, I'm getting thrown out the door.

After subject was discovered wandering aimlessly in downtown area.

After that last fight, I couldn't get you out of my mind.

Ah, here it is.

Ah, Joan!

Ah, yeah.

Aha. Here it is. "Dear sir, we are happy to inform you...

Ain't gonna be no preachin'. Just gonna be some drinkin'.

Ain't got no beer on tap...

Ain't got nothing to do with superstition. I just wanted them out.

Ain't no law that says when you found something...

Ain't no nonsense. It's a bad sign.

Ain't nobody in there. Dummy checked.

Ain't nobody marryin' nobody.

Ain't nothin' gonna happen to me. Please let me get some sleep

Ain't nothin' in the world sadder than an old black man...

Ain't nothin' on earth uglier than a 90 year old white woman.

Ain't worth nothin'. How long you been with me now, Lamont?

Ain't you gonna get dressed and go on out to work?

Ajunkyard.

All he gotta do is say it, and I'll do it.

All I do is just join all that pipe together...

All I got is this old truck, and the springs are gone...

All I know is that there was no supper.

All I know is that you broke it.

All I know is that you forgot about her. Well, I didn't.

All my friends thought I was getting my clothes from a fire sale.

All of a sudden, James Cagney say, "They got me, dirty rats. They got me. "

All of a sudden, there's this woman standing out by the curb...

All our pipes, Pop. He ripped out all our pipes.

All our plumbing is gone.

All right, come on. Get down here.

All right, darling.

All right, fine. Why don't you have a seat right here...

All right, just don't drink it. Let's get out of here.

All right, keep the card, and I'll take the hat back.

All right, make it a hundred and fifty.

All right, Mr. Sanford.

All right, sit down.

All right, that's it.

All right, then let's hear it your way.

All right, then you do it, you're so smart.

All right.

All right. I'll bring this thing back once I'm settled.

All right. I'll just set the table.

All right. I'm not gonna say another word about it.

All right. It's forgotten.

All right. Okay.

All right. Right this way.

All right. See, you have to start bringing in better stuff to sell.

All right. We got rid of the stuff and everything's been taken care of.

All smashed up and broken in the refrigerator in the yard.

All social security lines are temporarily busy.

All the stuff you eat with got a label on it.

All the things that we deal in are right here.

All the time. All the time, Pop. That's right.

All they wanna do is sit around and let their hair grow long.

All this time in the business and you still haven't developed an eye for junk.

All we got to do is push it. It's on rollers. Just watch.

All we have to do is tell 'em that we came to move a piano.

All you do is use your thumb. Now, watch my thumb.

All you got to do is just tap it.

All you had to do was heat it up.

Although it'll hurt my back, I'll do it.

Always worked for me. I been through quite a few apples in my time.

Amnesia? He's never had anything like that before

Amnesia's one of those mysterious things that can develop very quickly.

An appointment has been made for you at the County General Hospital...

An old, ugly white woman?

And "Fred" means "man. "

And $100 to Duane Hudson.

And a collector, which is me.

And a fifty cent tip. Three dollars for two drinks.

And a nice sad kisser.

And a woman like to believe that's her husband there losing.

And all it said was that the test was unsatisfactory due to a technical fault.

And all this will be yours.

And all you can think about is yourself.

And all you have to do is get underneath it and pull out the carpet.

And anyway, my mind is made up. This is something that I got to do.

And anyway, she's closer to my age.

And as for your Cousin Richard, they found him dead, all right.

And attempting to sell copper that has previously been burglarized...

And B: The nature of the physical assault perpetrated on the victim.

And besides, I didn't swipe the Bible.

And besides, who's gonna come around here looking for stolen copper?

And celebrate the way you want to, but this is it with me and you for tonight.

And chairman of the board, Mr. Fred Sanford.

And color.

And come out here and get the whole business deal straight.

And committed assault on the lone occupant, rendering him unconscious...

And don't say we didn't feed you!

And don't stir it too hard. I don't want it bruised.

And don't try to tell me nothing about my mother.

And don't you raise your voice at me.

And down below, two knobs say "brightness" and one says "fine tuning. "

And eats up the United States Senate. "

And everybody has a color TV

And finally it all paid off. You found a satchel full of money.

And find that your only means of support has flown the coop.

And for every dummy, there's a dummy.

And generous and handsome.

And get it out fast. Come on.

And get some mineral oil and Pluto Water.

And go see if you can get you some new porcelain?

And had 10,000 Texas Rangers.

And hang it on the wall.

And have some... See, another thing is wine.

And he brought it back to life and fell in love with her.

And he came upon the Red Sea and he stuck his arms out over the sea...

And he don't even have to bother God.

And he forgot the combination.

And he had his bayonet out.

And he left it in the alley for crook B.

And he pulled out our pipes and pulled Kelly's pipes out?

And he put his ear to the safe like this...

And he said that dinner was the one meal where you should be festive.

And he was in his cabin surrounded by criminals...

And he was nice enough to drive me home.

And he was the only one that knew the combination to a safe...

And he was with Custer too.

And her and her wiggly walk.

And here he is, the founder and president of our company...

And here it is after 8:00, and I don't know where he is.

And here's another one. Basic Fundamentals of Plumbing.

And here's one that we was really lucky to get, Pop

And his wife came back a little while later...

And hope you like me

And I bring the money home. Haven't you been keeping a budget?

And I burned your sheets and pillowcases.

And I come in here and you're always watching Days of Our Lives.

And I do run this joint, and I work just as hard as you do, maybe harder.

And I don't have no seat belt...

And I don't want him to think I'm trying to shake you loose of him.

And I feel 45. I'd settle for 35.

And I gave you one. Put 'em back in the mailbox.

And I got all of my social security.

And I had just enough time to buy these Jujyfruits and ask her to marry me.

And I had the frying pan in my hand, and I started swinging.

And I heard a noise.

And I heard this noise...

And I just had my heels fixed.

And I owe him one across his lip.

And I ran across one of the souvenirs from France, World War I.

And I should've realized that you aren't over the hill. You down in the valley.

And I suppose now you're gonna tell me that you're not superstitious.

And I suppose up until now this junkyard has been Fun City.

And I thought maybe you had an accident.

And I want you to put on some clean underwear.

And I was fixin' you some spare ribs and some pinto beans.

And I was readin' about how it was a big hit over in Japan too.

And I wasn't gettin' anywhere. You know what I'm gettin' at?

And I'll come back and see you some other time.

And I'll come to visit you, if it ain't too far.

And I'll find you an old folks' home where you can sit around all day...

And I'll see if they done turned off the electricity.

And I'll take the bills and go see if I can get somebody to loan us the money.

And I'll take the zucchini, or I can take the pork and beans...

And I'll try to get you a little extension.

And I'm coordinatin'.

And I'm glad I found out about your big mouth.

And I'm gonna be one till I'm a dead old man.

And I'm gonna stay in the business.

And I'm gonna take you out instead of some chick.

And I'm gonna wear my new hat 'cause it don't look like no rain.

And I'm looking for a garage sale or a house that's being wrecked.

And I'm not gonna let you smear her memory.

And I'm not spending my hard earned money so you can sit around all day...

And I'm ridiculous for being out here with you.

And I've been tired lately and out of breath.

And I've got an order to repossess some furniture...