The Jeffersons - Season 2 Edit

A "Your Honor, here comes the judge," judge?

A baby boy was born in a cotton field

A bartender ain't just some guy who pours drinks.

A bartender is the drinking man's psychiatrist.

A bigger allowance, Pop.

A birthday cake. Go out and buy one.

A black girl, Weezy, pure black,

A book? What book?

A bottle of English.

A cab?

A can of assorted cookies.

A check for a thousand bucks.

A cookbook?

A couple of other clubs in this town

A couple of times,

A couple of trespassers and a pot of cold stew.

A crowd is the loneliest place, George.

A cruise?

A cup of tea would be nice.

A dau...? Hey, hey, hey, hey!

A day? Good.

A delicious sense of humor, Mr. J.,

A fortune?

A friend should be able

A friend.

A golden ladder.

A good father's supposed to pay for his son's education,

A good head on your shoulders.

A good home cooked meal for a change.

A good maid always cleans behind the refrigerator.

A good picture of the family.

A great author when she's creating?

A great big old wedding cake, triple decker, all chocolate.

A great stereo.

A guy who's got a compulsion to work.

A ha!

A ha! A ha! A ha! A ha!

A ha! Don't you "a ha" me!

A handsome prince, of course.

A handsome prince?

A horn, cuff links, and a bike.

A horn?

A hundred dollars

A hundred dollars?

A last minute check is not a present.

A little possum goes a long way.

A lot lately?

A lot of drinking lately. Why?

A lot of us old guys do have problems with their families.

A lot of your colleagues do.

A luxury liner.

A man like you

A mother can tell her own son from a bird.

A person who's always bringing the office home with him.

A po' black or a po' white,

A po' what?

A policeman found it.

A real looker.

A reason for all this drinking.

A self made man who came up the hard way,

A short haired Cambridge man himself.

A sleek racer with distinctive red stripes

A thief. My own son, a thief!

A truck for a truck."

A very nice chap on the other end,

A very special game with Judge Markel.

A whole year.

A wife should respect her husband.

A woman raised you, George.

A woman's job is working for a man.

A young, handsome dude from a good family?

Aah!

Aah! That ain't going to work.

Aah.

Aauuggh!

About $80.

About his father's death.

About me helping you with the dishes anymore.

About me?

About my own college graduation,

About not using this term paper?

About our engagement this evening...

About taking hassles from your boss,

About the party?

About the poor Rice Krispie that came from a broken home?

About the way Florence is acting.

About the way to make it in the business world.

About this being a special day for someone very special?

About us going out with the Hendricks.

About what you're going to say in your speech?

About what?

About what's wrong with our system.

About you, Mrs. Jefferson.

About your business experiences.

About your turning down that job offer.

About your wife.

Actually,

Actually, Celia and I

Actually, George is eating rabbit.

Actually, George, you haven't lost anything.

Actually, I thought cauliflower was rather good.

Afraid I can't make it Thursday.

After 18 years?

After all these years, I just wanted to meet you.

After all, $500 is a big fine, even for George.

After all, 70 is a very special birthday.

After all, hasn't he been a good son to his mama?

After all, her job brings her to America

After all, it was my own fault I had the accident.

After all, it's a very special day for me.

After all, when you reach three score and 10...

After all, you taught me everything I know.

After all, you went to all this trouble to get him here,

After all, you're just like a daughter to me, dear.

After going out with you, he's only "99%" Wilson.

After that hair cut, you're going to need it to buy a hat.

After the way you behaved with your wife.

After what I've done?

After what you did to me?

After you, friend.

Again, sir. Oh, yes, indeedy, sir.

Against black neighborhoods.

Ah ha, door, that was it.

Ah ha, so that's where you got these crazy ideas from.

Ah, ah. I'll fix it.

Ah, are they busy?

Ah, but your team always had the prettiest cheerleaders.

Ah, come on, Louise. Forget about the dishes

Ah, Daphne, she was in my lasagna period.

Ah, Edward Villella.

Ah, glad to see you. Come on in.

Ah, good morning, partygoers!

Ah, got it.

Ah, hello, Momsy womsy.

Ah, hello, Mrs. J. Aren't they beauties?

Ah, here it is, possum stew.

Ah, hi, Mr. Jefferson.

Ah, I was right!

Ah, Lionel,

Ah, look, I'll take these.

Ah, Louise, you look beautiful.

Ah, Mr. J, I see you have a guest.

Ah, Mr. J, I thank you from the bottom of my back.

Ah, Mrs. J, thank you for the use of your... Daphne!

Ah, Mrs. Jefferson, how are you today?

Ah, mum's the word, eh, Mum?

Ah, Neptune's ambrosia.

Ah, not bad for an amateur.

Ah, Rev. Perry.

Ah, that's what it is!

Ah, the same old George.

Ah, the treasure of the deep.

Ah, what's the big surprise you got for us?

Ah, would you like to have some punch,

Ah, yes. Her name is Tracy Williams.

Ah, yonder comes Sitting Bull.

Ah, you have

Ah, you heard about the party? Absolutely spiffing.

Ah!

Ah! Voila!

Ah! You got to be reasonable.

Aha!

Aha! His date.

Aha.

Ahem, ahem, ahem.

Ahem?

Ahem.

Ahh, mm. Marvelous.

Ain't a father supposed to want that for his son?

Ain't he?

Ain't it better with a friend

Ain't it the truth?

Ain't it? A cruise sounds marvelous!

Ain't much to tell. I'm George Jefferson,

Ain't no "just" in front of 20 bucks.

Ain't no hassling, ain't no dirt,

Ain't no reason for us

Ain't no rent.

Ain't no secrets between us.

Ain't no use.

Ain't nothing in this world could make me go up there.

Ain't nothing special about the Harlem store.

Ain't nothing to think about.

Ain't nothing you can do in a spot like that

Ain't ready for mixed marriage.

Ain't somebody going to get that door?

Ain't somebody, it's him, Keller.

Ain't that right, Bentley?

Ain't that right, Willis?

Ain't that something?

Ain't that something?

Ain't that the latest?

Ain't you got no better way to spend your time?

Ain't you got no sense?

Ain't you old enough

Ain't you supposed to be in the kitchen?

Alice Johnson was an angel.

Alice Johnson?

All about the birds and the bees.

All his friends were telling me how

All I can tell you is, her appetite is perfect.

All I could find was this one, Tom.

All I have is a $5.00 bill.

All I know is I'm trying to get into this locker.

All I need is a snappy title.

All I see is you and Weezy on the beach in bathing suits.

All I stole were a few diamonds,

All I want is some coffee, Mom.

All I've got is a sore back.

All I've got is floors to scrub and windows to clean.

All it takes is will power.

All kinds of guys can go into that smoke,

All of a sudden you're willing to eat fish,

All of a sudden, I was in the subway.

All of central Illinois will be under three feet of water.

All right now, if you want to go and ruin

All right, all right. I'll do it your way.

All right, everybody, this is Skeeter Jackson.

All right, fine.

All right, Florence.

All right, George, give me a straight answer.

All right, George, go ahead. Name one.

All right, George, I'll tell her,

All right, George, I'm going to do

All right, George, if you insist.

All right, George, what's the real reason?

All right, George.

All right, George. But I'm afraid I'm going to cry.

All right, Harry, but hurry up. I can't wait much longer.

All right, hold it.

All right, I'll call him.

All right, if you want to be surprised

All right, ladies. Time to go.

All right, now sit still or whooo, whooo, whooo!

All right, party's over, that's it!

All right, she can be acting manager

All right, sir.

All right, sir. If you insist.

All right, then prove I'm wrong.

All right, turn it around.

All right!

All right!

All right?

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. All right.

All right. But this is the last game.

All right. Everybody get ready, set...

All right. I didn't do it.

All right. I'll name one thing you have in common.

All right. I'll tell you straight from the shoulder,

All right. Pick a pair.

All right. What about you and this Fred something?

All right. You got it.

All set?

All that counts is that we love each other now, right?

All that morning jogging really pays off.

All the Bentley men have always worn suspenders...

All the Bentleys are notoriously shy.

All the brothers and sisters to tell their family and friends

All the brothers around here are rich, ain't they?

All the brothers? Who you talking about?

All the stores are closed on Sunday. Remember?

All the way across town to Amsterdam Avenue.

All the way back here to thank me for that.

All the way from nothing.

All the way up to Admiral.

All these years,

All this excitement has made me so tired.

All this fighting has made me hungry.

All this is giving me a headache.

All those stray cats on 135th Street.

All we doing is going out with Bentley and his sister.

All we're saying is that there are

All week long.

All you do is work.

All you had to do was say so.

All you have to do is come into court

All you have to pay for is the carpet.

All you need is about five seconds.

All you'll get is a fine.

All's fair in love and war.

Allow me to say something.

Almost 5:00. Why?

Almost flirting with their mothers?

Already got it.

Although I don't think

Always driving to be number one, never able to relax.

Always helping people.

Always inviting Mrs. Henderson to stay with them.

Always petting them, and hugging them,

Always trying to be something that you're not...

Am I an equal partner in this marriage or not?

Amen.

American Literature is not important to me,

An annoyance will come into your life today,

An awful liar.

An endangered species you know.

An ocean for two.

An old wet billy goat.

An organ. Hey, that's class.

And "Feets, do your stuff."

And a bucket of whitewash.

And a good soul food cookbook

And a great white shark attacked the ship

And a high rise on the East Side,

And a little bell that went:

And a lot of people I talked to.

And a pain in the neck.

And about that $500 check, I'll explain it to my boss,

And after that, we made a move...

And all he wants in this world

And announce folks

And another thing, I was not depressed.

And argue about it, it's okay by me,

And asked me to meet her at Charley's bar.

And at the bottom, you ain't going to believe this Weezy...

And ate everybody up.

And be sure to sign the register before you leave.

And be your wife at the same time?

And because Helen won't ever speak to me again.

And believe me,

And besides, I already signed us up

And besides, you learn when you're a firemen

And blew the tree over in an unexpected direction,

And buy a different jacket?

And came down here

And canceled our reservation.

And cleaned the apartment

And closed your brain!

And come to think of it, I guess you are.

And comes to my house with the nerve to apologize?

And couldn't stop crying all over.

And crazy.

And Daphne won?

And discuss details.

And do you have a scar on your right leg?

And don't forget our date, George.

And don't worry about your new competitors.

And don't you get smart, neither.

And don't you talk to me, either,

And Emily's got all the qualifications.

And Emma kept the blanket?

And Emma said she'd never speak to Mama again

And entertain your guest,

And even the cop had stopped swearing at you.

And feeding them better than she feeds me.

And find out if you'd like to join me

And fix me a scotch and soda.

And for that, I've got to have cucumbers.

And frankly, your real life as Mrs. George Jefferson

And George and I were the Indians.

And get some olives too.

And give you some aid.

And glory hallelujah,

And going to school at the same time.

And gold watches and mink coats... What?

And grabbed me by the shoulder and said,

And hasn't he given me everything I ever wanted?

And have a good time,

And he agreed like a shot. Wasn't that nice of him?

And he asked me to give you a message.

And he can get a brand new van without having to pay for it.

And he can't pack without me.

And he doesn't hassle them.

And he got just what he deserved.

And he knows one hand dry cleans the other.

And he offered me a job.

And he said, "All right. Let's play a little Gin."

And he thought he was fooling you.

And he wants her, that's why.

And he wasn't afraid to tell me about it.

And he will be here for the wedding tomorrow.

And he won't talk back to his, neither.

And he would always say:

And he's been acting very slippery.

And he's got my good looks.

And he's invited us to visit the club too.

And he's making me write a new one.

And he's staying with us for a while.

And he's white.

And hear that new pastor, remember?

And Helen will be at your right, George.

And helped you up that ladder,

And here's a little present I brought to you.

And here's your change. Thanks a lot, Ralph.

And here's your tea.

And his dumb diploma's

And his house has many rooms.

And honey, it's still here. Only in New York.

And how did he do that?

And how do you know?

And how do you tell your husband,

And how many times did she lie to you?

And how many women presidents have we had?

And how would they find out?

And how's George?

And hung a po on it.

And I ain't even a very good one at that.

And I ain't even counting the Mills Brothers.

And I always managed to do it too.

And I brought it right up.

And I called before that.

And I can borrow something from Helen.

And I can't stand the color, either.

And I can't stand the smell.

And I can't understand why he's doing it.

And I certainly don't hold any grudges.

And I didn't have exact bus fare

And I don't like this one bit.

And I don't want to hear no more of this talk, understand?

And I even offered to give it to him the next time I saw him.

And I finally did it.

And I found out where that was.

And I got you: Ta da!

And I have just decided not to make Emily my manager.

And I haven't been a very good daughter in law, have I?

And I hopped right off the roof.

And I just made up my mind. He's right.

And I just thought I'd drop by

And I knew you'd like it if I stopped in to see your parents.

And I know just how we can get Mama to leave.

And I lived the next few years

And I love the way he said:

And I married her.

And I never wanted my son to marry your daughter.

And I ought to be hiring black people

And I probably won't never see you again. Bye.

And I ran onto the up escalator,

And I said, "George, why don't we do something together?"

And I started climb and climb, but the more I climbed,

And I still feel romantic.

And I stopped shaking.

And I think I know what he's going to say.

And I think I'm a pretty smart fellow.

And I think it's wonderful of you

And I think she ought to be told so

And I think she's been playing on it all these years.

And I thought Harry Belafonte was romantic.

And I thought I was on the sure thing

And I thought I'd just drop by and surprise old George.

And I thought it might be a good idea

And I thought of you.

And I told him who you were, George.

And I want him to be really proud of me.

And I want it fully equipped and ready to open

And I want them missing a single word, understand?

And I want to do justice to Mendelssohn.

And I want to know what it is.

And I want you to do the cookbook.

And I wanted that blanket, Louise.

And I wanted to ask you where to stay and what to see,

And I was chopping down this rather nice Scottish pine

And I was going down, down, down.

And I was just hoping that maybe you could...

And I was just hoping that you could come...

And I was right.

And I was screaming so loud

And I was wondering if I might borrow your wok?

And I wind up getting $10,000 worth of junk.

And I wouldn't think of getting rid

And I wouldn't worry about our evening together,

And I'd better get started right now.

And I'd thought I'd stop by and say good night.

And I'll believe you.

And I'll help you.

And I'll let loose with the loudest scream you ever heard.

And I'll make you a bloody mary, okay?

And I'll never get a chance to meet Wittendale.

And I'll tell Pop that he must be proud of me.

And I'm always busy at work

And I'm answering you for the last time, George.

And I'm beginning to think

And I'm going to talk her into coming over here.

And I'm here to play

And I'm not getting nowhere.

And I'm not going to change now.

And I'm your boss.

And I've been working on my own term paper ever since.

And I've never done that.

And if George's mother should dig up anything,

And if he gives me any trouble,

And if he sees Lionel drunk, he'll kill him.

And if I can't make it, I'll tell you.

And if I decide to become a permanent member,

And if I don't understand that, I ain't his mama.

And if I was you, I would get back to work.

And if it weren't for you, I'd be sitting at home

And if she don't understand, she ain't my mama, right?

And if the bean fields get flooded he makes a big profit.

And if we stay, the city will kill us.

And if you don't want to hear more of them,

And if you keep shouting out here,

And if you knew Susan like I got to know Susan...

And if you want to help blacks, Mr. Jefferson,

And in a while there's Hopping John!"

And in the face of this company

And it ain't healthy.

And it ain't till I'm halfway to work

And it keeps the blood moving.

And it looks like it's going to be a flood in Peoria

And it must be okay. The government does it.

And it shouldn't make any difference to you

And it was like that ship, the Marie Celeste.

And it was so hot I was itching,

And it was so sweet of you to remember what day it was.

And it was still full when I accepted.

And it was terrible.

And it wasn't there.

And it's been just great.

And it's driving him crazy...

And it's my argument. Now listen, Lionel, this is...

And it's my turn to bring the cake.

And it's on me.

And it's really you, Mr. Jefferson.

And it's stupid.

And it's time you told your best girl

And join us for a little reminiscing.

And just lie there.

And just listen, hear? There's something I got to tell you.

And just see the way it moves.

And landed on my great toe.

And last week she asked for more closet space in my apartment.

And lazy,

And left the hard ones for me.

And left us some dough.

And let people wait on you.

And let your father down easy.

And let your mother be a wallflower?

And like I was telling Louise here,

And listen, Florence,

And look someplace else,

And look, there's George. Isn't he cute in his little white hat?

And lots of those honest, decent citizens

And Louise Mills lives happily ever after

And make a fool of myself, wouldn't you?

And make ourselves comfortable?

And make sure Lionel is not in his bedroom?

And making a fool of yourself.

And maybe someday

And messing up the place. Weezy, ain't nothing uglier

And Mom passed them on to me.

And Mother Jefferson caught the bridal bouquet.

And Mr. Bentley will play for us.

And Mrs... Olivia.

And my bloody mary and maybe a bite to eat.

And my daughter in law.

And my girlfriend Daphne chose shocking pink.

And my mother ain't drinking no tea

And never have the kind of smarts you have.

And no matter what I do, it's not good enough.

And no matter what you say,

And no, I don't feel like going up to the store to get it.

And not gotten married,

And not with her, she won't want to come. How about that?

And now I can't get him to stop.

And now I'm all set to flunk life.

And now that I'm getting my invitation,

And now that you can afford the food,

And now you're quitting on me.

And nuts that come out of elevators.

And one day, I knocked on the door,

And opened up a cleaning store.

And out of New York by tomorrow.

And pick up a book and see your name in print?

And picked cotton while whitey took the profit.

And picking them up

And played cards with Weezy

And President Ford is going to punish the oil companies.

And pretty soon, that's exactly what you got:

And put George Washington's face on the table, please?

And put them on his blazer.

And quick, because your mother

And rather a strange one.

And reading the funnies.

And really fouls things up.

And return your answers to us immediately."

And right now my friend and I are going out for a bite to eat.

And right under his nose too.

And scratch one good customer.

And see all kinds of things.

And see all that gang sitting in the front row,

And see if you can get him

And she asked me in.

And she can't come? Nothing.

And she kissed Mr. Bentley.

And she said she had something very important to ask me.

And she said she was going

And she talked real mysterious,

And she wanted Wesley, after her old father.

And she'd never ask for anything in return.

And she's my wife.

And shut it off.

And since we're mentioning names,

And small on the outside.

And so am I.

And some folks are losers.

And something that makes her feel important.

And speaking of business, how about settling your account?

And start charging you by the mile.

And start thinking about your son.

And stayed in bed.

And staying with us

And still say enough

And stray cats... And stray cats.

And studying for your Master's and all that,

And stupid.

And tap dancing and scared of ghosts,

And tell her you don't want to get married.

And tell Mr. Jefferson I say goodbye too.

And tell the simple truth the way I just explained it.

And tell us what this is all about.

And that bus driver wouldn't trust me for a nickel.

And that did it?

And that goes for dinner and breakfast too.

And that I'm going to spend all of my time with them

And that is also the truth!

And that should wipe out the whole crop.

And that something is garbage.

And that's also the reason you didn't promote Emily.

And that's an expression, too, George!

And that's exactly what she's going to get.

And that's the door.

And that's the way Mama expects it.

And that's what started

And that's what the fight was all about.

And that's when you woke me up, thank God.

And that's where you're going to stay

And the bottle was going up, up, up.

And the bracelet you gave me for Christmas,

And the cop turned it in? In New York?

And the good looking one is my son.

And the house where you were born.

And the muggers.

And the next day he died.

And the number of times

And The People of the City of New York are going to lose.

And the quicker the better.

And the sure man who is always dull."

And the third degree starts.

And the time?

And the timing is perfect,

And the traffic coming back was deadly...

And the tree would have landed squarely on Susan.

And the week after that's even worse.

And the whole world was wearing wash and wear.

And the Willises in the bathroom.

And their lovely daughter, Jenny,

And their zebra marriage,

And then a couple of years ago, I got married,

And then at the end of the movie,

And then I thought, how can I stay away

And then I was going to say that you were the owner of one

And then Lionel and I are going to have

And then one day, five years later,

And then she won't even talk to me.

And then somebody steals your place.

And then someone had seen me with a girl, and told Helen.

And then you can do your homework,

And then you get on the phone eat crow.

And then you won't let your own son have $20.

And there are no color restrictions?

And there are times, Daphne, when it is wrong

And there's nothing funny about this, Helen.

And there's something else I found out...

And they are going to pay his way

And they call you Diver

And they can't see anybody else.

And they dressed me all up

And they have the nicest little pastry cart.

And they invited us to dinner tonight.

And they just put you in the ground.

And they waited on you hand and foot.

And they wouldn't even let me scratch.

And they'll take over the world."

And they've been all over me ever since he got here.

And they've got plenty

And thirsty.

And this fine fox answered, I gave her my sales pitch,

And this is my beautiful mother,

And this is the only way that I can make it.

And this particular night,

And this time,

And this time, don't be so stingy with the brandy.

And thought I'd spend some time with my family.

And to get us out of the old neighborhood,

And to know that I had touched you.

And to think

And told me how you felt,

And Tom, can I put my order in now?

And tomorrow, we're going

And try to talk some sense into their heads.

And uh, I fear it would be a traumatic experience.

And understanding woman he's got.

And use my $30 scotch.

And very careful thought,

And wait for you.

And was your maiden name Louise Mills?

And wasn't Elsie Carter unlucky

And wasn't he the one who tried to blackmail you?

And wasn't I lucky to catch the bride's bouquet?

And watch your worries drift away

And we can get it out of the elevator.

And we can go to the Copper Kettle.

And we don't see that much of each other.

And we only saw half of that before George made us leave.

And we presidents got to watch our image.

And we won first prize.

And we're always looking for distinguished new members.

And we're going to be equal partners?

And we've learned how to handle them.

And welcome him into their home as you two have.

And went right to the top.

And what about a husband respecting his wife?

And what about Lionel?

And what about the size?

And what about this?

And what are you doing here in your pajamas?

And what do you know?

And what does Lionel think about this?

And what you doing? Getting married or buried?

And what?

And what's good for General Motors

And what's that supposed to mean?

And what's that?

And when he walked in,

And when I came back, Emma had won the blanket.

And when I got there,

And when she left, she gave me this.

And when they make it into a movie,

And when you did reach three score and 10,

And when you wake up, it's going to be your day,

And when you're finished playing hide and seek,

And while you're buying term papers,

And while you're out, pick up some olives too.

And while you're up... Which I ain't.

And who are you supposed to be?

And wipe it off.

And with my very own initials: H.B.

And within five minutes,

And women are demanding their place in it.

And you asked your father and me

And you came down to the ship to meet us.

And you can come along too, Mama.

And you could end up paying through it.

And you could raise a whole family