Jumanji: The Next Level Edit

A drought befell the land.

A little bit of Jumanji wisdom there.

A lot of good memories here.

A plane?

About my little brother and his famous testicles.

About who I really am.

Absolutely.

Ah, crap.

Ah, geez.

Ah, thank you.

Ah! Come on. Beat it!

Ah! Whoa! Whoa!

Ahem, Spencer?

Ahh! Oh! Oh, wow!

Alex, what are you doing here?

All I know is, we are stuck here again,

All of Jumanji thanks you. And, sadly, this is where we part.

All of you is a different color.

All right, all right, get a room.

All right, all right. My man.

All right, bring it on.

All right, guys, this is the moment. We need you now.

All right, let's back up. Let's go back a little bit.

All right, so there's that.

All right, then.

All the restaurants in Brantford,

All the way on the other side of the place.

Always.

Always.

Always.

Am I...?

Amazing.

And by the way, what the hell happened to Bethany?

And for weaknesses, "Endurance."

And forge in blood this union with your family?

And go!

And he can tell that you're a pain in the ass.

And he's always been super brave.

And he's brought with him

And he's not your camel.

And his beloved hyenas are left...

And how much luggage we have.

And I always will.

And I am the other brother.

And I can't wait.

And I got games on the weekends.

And I hate to tell you, I'm not interested.

And I say this with all due respect, sir.

And I'm Tomatolik.

And if the jewel is not returned soon,

And if you wish to leave the game,

And international explorer,

And is it your intention to mother his children

And is it your intention, on this day,

And it has been guarded by the people

And it weighs like 100 pounds.

And Jeffrey's in the back.

And land by land, we'll take the world.

And let me tell you why.

And made their way south to the Avian Province,

And Milo is probably in this, like, barn thing

And Milo...

And not everybody can say that.

And now he's gone.

And now I'm coming out of it.

And now that they are...

And now we're all stuck here again!

And now you're mine.

And now, with your permission,

And now...

And on top of that...

And one in five of them, I would marry, no questions asked.

And only you can help.

And remember, the goal is to recover the loot.

And right now,

And show it to the sun.

And so your work here is done.

And so...

And something came over me, okay?

And stick it back in the statue thing.

And that he's 75 years old and he just learned how to fly.

And the levels get harder as we go.

And then last night...

And then on the way home, we stopped in Costa Rica,

And then those look like two sides of a t****zoid...

And then we sneak in somehow.

And then, eventually, we die.

And there's only one road in.

And they don't wanna go there

And they've got an awful ferocious bite.

And we are in the bodies of video game characters, heh.

And we need to find the desert fruit, whatever that is.

And we've been here before, Fridge and I.

And what else? Let's see, "Heat, sun and sand."

And when I'm done, I'm gonna whup your ass.

And you looked like you were having so much fun, and...

And you're the person who makes me feel good...

And your brilliant associates.

And... this is not what you looked like.

Another better character.

Another interesting thing about the ostrich...

Anthony!

Any ice climbing equipment in your backpack?

Anybody wanna dance with the bride?

Anyway, he's 32. Or is he 35?

Are returning to his fortress.

Are we dead?

Are you crazy?

Are you the Brothers Kababik?

Aren't you gonna lead us to that?

Around their face and buttocks.

At last,

At least I got rid of that stupid hat.

At least last time I was still black.

At the top of this ice wall.

At this hour, to wed Jurgen the Brutal of Zhatmire?

Augustus Kababik.

Backpack.

Be aggressive.

Be aggressive.

Be careful. It looks pretty busted.

Be careful. That body is not a toy.

Be, be aggressive.

Beat it!

Because Ming's the cat burglar.

Because they don't want to die.

Because to me, it looks like today.

Before somebody figures out who I really am.

Before Switchblade realizes I'm gone.

Before that happens.

Before the Brothers Kababik get there.

Being your partner...

Bethany thought you might need some help.

Bethany!

Bethany's a horse...

Boobs.

Bravestone didn't have weaknesses last time.

Bravestone!

Bravestone.

Bring it in.

Brothers Kababik,

Brothers Kababik, I present Jurgen the Brutal.

Burpees. Five burpees, right now.

But he won't be able to get out.

But he's fine.

But how do we get in?

But I count myself lucky, Eddie.

But I don't have my usual explosiveness.

But I don't know how I'm supposed to make that jump.

But I have to try.

But I'm always thinking that...

But instead, I'm, um...

But it feels like this isn't the perfect moment.

But it is.

But Jurgen got what he came for.

But Martha and I, we've been here before.

But then I see you.

But we are in a video game called Jumanji,

But we, uh... We came to get the thing that we came to get.

But you can't get to it

But you retired me. You retired me.

By himself?

By talking too slow...

Bye bye, Mr. Walker!

Call out its name!

Can I give you a little advice? Listen to me.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Can we all agree?

Can you ask them to come with us and...?

Come and get it. Yeah!

Come on in. Come on in.

Come on in. Make yourself comfortable.

Come on, come here. Ha, ha!

Come on, Grandpa. Let's go home.

Come on, Grandpa. Let's go.

Come on, I got you!

Come on, I'll help you with your bags.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, let's go. Let's go. Follow us.

Come on, Milo, come on!

Come on, Milo!

Come on, you bastards!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Hurry up.

Crazy dangerous.

Dad joke. Sorry. Can't help it.

Dad, are you on a ladder?

Dad, we're home!

Dad. He's called five times. Just call him back.

Daddy, her name's Bethany too.

Damn it, I was so close. I had the key in my hand.

Damn!

Debbie or... Brooke?

Did he change his hair?

Did I die and turn into

Did you ever call Milo?

Did you know about this?

Did you know that? Fascinating.

Did you see me?

Did you? It looked like you just got murdered.

Did you...? Were you just talking to them?

Do whatever you want. I don't care.

Do you think you can help me get the machine to start?

Does anyone have, like, a eucalyptus inhaler?

Does it look like tonight to you?

Don't get so close.

Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Don't think you should be doing that.

Don't worry about us. Just go!

Don't you think one of you should do this?

Dr. Bravestone, famed archeologist

Dr. Bravestone, I will take the jewel from here.

Dr. Bravestone. You should read it aloud.

Dr. Bravestone's, strengths and weaknesses.

Drinks! Drinks over here!

Each place on the map is a different level,

Easy for you to say, you got nunchucks!

Ed, you okay?

Eddie and Milo.

Eddie, is that you?

Eddie, you okay? You having a heart attack?

Eddie, you okay? You having a heart attack?

Eddie!

Eddie! Hey, Eddie, where you going?

Eddie! Milo!

Eddie?

Eddie.

Eh, Christ.

Even heavier than baboons, with which they are often confused.

Every single day on every single subway car,

Everybody okay?

Everybody should be so lucky to have a friend like Milo.

Ew!

Ew! Ew! Old man. Get it together.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Who is Jumanji?

Faster than a horse, if you can believe that.

Fiery.

Find an oasis and follow the flame to the desert fruit.

Finish the game, and we go home.

Follow the flame to the desert fruit.

For any of us.

For Dagfinn...

For Jurgen the Brutal has returned.

For the first time ever, people really liked me.

For the first time in 40 years. I gotta go tell Milo.

For your beauty and cunning.

Forever.

Fourteen texts and four missed calls.

Freeze!

Fridge, be careful! I am telling you, that body's a weapon.

Fridge, do you have

Fridge, we're gonna die!

Fridge!

Fridge! Are you okay?

Fridge?

Fridge...

Geometry. That's what it's for!

Get away! I know geometry.

Get back!

Get back. Stay back.

Get boiled or eaten by piranhas or something.

Get in! Hurry!

Get it going!

Get it.

Get off!

Get on out of here!

Get out of here!

Get out of here!

Get your hands off of me!

Getting old sucks. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Getting old...

Give me your hand!

Go get him!

Go get the jewel!

Go, go, go!

Go, go.

Go!

Go.

Good?

Got it? Low profile.

Grandpa Eddie.

Grandpa, Milo. Come on, we gotta go.

Grandpa, the jewel!

Grandpa, you guys were incredible.

Grandpa, you okay?

Grandpa, you stay here on lookout. Keep a low profile.

Grandpa! Enough!

Grandpa... let's get you out of there.

Guys like me, we don't retire!

Guys, guys.

Guys, guys.

Guys, I found Spencer. Here's Spencer right here.

Gwendolyn Hortencia Lewelda Kababik?

Gwendolyn Kababik...

Ha, ha, we won!

Ha, wow! Ha, ha!

Ha! I'd like to see your friend Ming do that!

Ha! Suckers!

Hanging with the girls, getting her hair done, mani pedi.

Has anyone arrived in Jumanji...?

Has come to pass,

Haul ass, girl. Let's go!

Have you been in touch with Spencer much?

He can read the map.

He can see it, you can't.

He died because...

He gets to the point, you're dead!

He is one brother,

He knows.

He left me no choice.

He made a mistake.

He only has a limited number of things he can say.

He says somebody's gotta stay and look after this place.

He says, "Thank you."

He stowed the jewel in darkness,

He talks too slow, and by the time

He tried to steal something quite precious from me.

He was my friend.

He will trade the Falcon Jewel, and an alliance will be formed.

He wouldn't even touch those saucepans until he was done

He's a... Uh, what is it called?

He's here, and we gotta find him.

He's just giving you a ride.

He's making his way north across the desert now.

He's the worst Bravestone of all time.

Head down this path here and make a right.

Heh, heh, funny thing is, I don't remember knowing...

Heh, heh. Oh, uh, this is uh, Martha and and Bethany.

Hello there. Heh.

Help. Eddie. Oh!

Here, camel, camel.

Here.

Here's another interesting fact.

Here's your map.

Hey, guys, you're not gonna believe this.

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys.

Hey, hey, don't do that.

Hey, how's New York City?

Hey, kiddo!

Hey, move along. Nothing to see here.

Hey, Mr. Walker.

Hey!

Hey! Ahh!

Hey! Check this out!

Hey! Get the hell away from that horse!

Hey! I'm with you, Milo.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Nigel, I thought that was you.

Hi!

Hi.

Hi."

Hidden from the sun.

His savage horde.

His whole left side is shutting down. Eddie, look at me!

His whole left side is shutting down. Eddie, look at me!

Hm?

Hm.

Hm. Whoa!

Hm...

Ho, ho, ho!

Ho, ho, ho! Wow!

Hold on, Eddie. Please don't let go.

Hold on. Wait, wait. Here we go.

Holy shit.

Holy...

Home of the sacred Falcon Jewel,

Hoo... Oh. Huh.

How about that? You know, the funny thing is,

How are you?

How bad?

How did it even get here?

How is he gonna get out?

How is this guy a character in an adventure game?

How was your day?

How you gave your testicles

Huh?

Huh.

Hyah!

Hyenas.

I am gonna kill you.

I am harnessing my chi.

I came back, and things actually got worse.

I can't believe that we found you guys.

I can't say this enough: We're in a video game.

I certainly am.

I did it. I don't know what it was.

I didn't get a letter from this guy.

I didn't know where else to go.

I don't have a letter! How many times I gotta tell you that?

I don't have interests.

I don't have much time left.

I don't have the foggiest clue what's going on here.

I don't have to tell you this.

I don't know what I was... Oy vey.

I don't know what's sad about it.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I don't know why I did it, but I did.

I don't know, like it's...

I don't know!

I don't know! Okay?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. Maybe he went to buy parts or something?

I don't remember...

I don't think he went out.

I don't think.

I don't wanna hear it.

I don't wanna read the map. I'm supposed to be her.

I feed him to his beloved hyenas.

I feel like I, uh, just got you back.

I forget that sometimes.

I forgot to tell you one thing.

I forgot what this part feels like.

I got hair! Heh, heh!

I got her. I got the thief.

I got no balls.

I got to live a wonderful life.

I got to school, and suddenly,

I gotta get this guy in shape and build up some endurance.

I gotta stop hanging out with white people.

I gotta take my pill.

I guess that's the next level.

I guess.

I had a girlfriend.

I hate being the map guy!

I have a boyfriend.

I have never seen anything

I haven't looked like this since...

I just can't believe you came back here on purpose.

I just got really insecure or something.

I just might have to cut off your heads.

I just think, uh, maybe don't cut off my head?

I just... I don't...

I know how to do that.

I know what you want, you want to apologize.

I know.

I leave for 10 minutes, you're climbing ladders?

I lost my friend.

I lost my restaurant so you could drive around

I love you too!

I love you, Dr. Bravestone.

I love you, honey. I'm so glad you're home.

I loved Dagfinn!

I loved him like a brother.

I mean, I know everybody says that, but turns out it's true.

I mean, I saved you, I saved you,

I mean, I...

I mean, it's always the scenic route with you.

I mean, it's doable...

I mean, last year was...

I mean, what am I supposed to do with this?

I mean, what the hell, Spencer? Why are you even here?

I mean, why now?

I missed you so much.

I need to talk to you.

I need your help, Eddie.

I never thought I'd be this happy to shrink.

I passed a vault on the way up to this dump.

I remember you when you were younger,

I said scram, you stupid bird!

I said, keep walking, pal.

I saved this guy from a bird while I was driving a car.

I should have tracked you down a long time ago.

I sprained it pretty good.

I swear, man, if we survive,

I text him a lot, but he doesn't always text me back.

I think he went back in.

I think I got it now.

I think my eyes are a different color.

I think that's how we get there.

I think we lost them.

I think you should explain it to us one more time.

I think...

I thought you were done talking.

I thought you'd never come back.

I told you to stay the hell away from my wife!

I understand the enormous weight

I wanna get back to my apartment.

I wanna hear about New York.

I want a big piece.

I wanted to feel like that again.

I was a machine. I was relentless.

I was a senior in high school.

I was a zoologist last time. It's important.

I was done.

I was here for 20 years, kiddo.

I was incredible.

I was married to a wonderful woman.

I was never gonna come back, she wants to get together later,

I was ready to retire.

I was ready, man.

I went back and got it, okay?

I will literally burn your face.

I will protect it with my life and return it to the care

I wish I could just feel like that again, I guess.

I, uh...

I... I mean your avatar,

I'd be honored.

I'll be right back.

I'll bet you two more!

I'll meet the brothers in Gorek.

I'm back.

I'm changing your light bulb.

I'm done talking!

I'm Dr. Smolder Bravestone.

I'm glad you came over for coffee.

I'm glad you came.

I'm gonna meet my friends for brunch at 10.

I'm gonna try to sneak in with them.

I'm her.

I'm in the kitchen!

I'm just glad you made it.

I'm just... I'm going home for the holidays tonight, so...

I'm Martha, Spencer's...

I'm not "it."

I'm not calling him back. I don't wanna talk to him.

I'm not gonna beat up the wrong guy.

I'm not messing around, you guys. Get away!

I'm not your nurse. Okay, listen.

I'm ready to get the hell out of here.

I'm right here.

I'm right here.

I'm so glad you've returned.

I'm so glad you've returned.

I'm sorry, I did it. It was my fault.

I'm sorry, I just...

I'm sorry, I think I missed the "plan" part of the plan.

I'm sorry, Milo.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Okay?

I'm sure everything's... fine.

I'm sure that's what he did. We find him,

I'm sweating. I'm sweating.

I'm telling you, there's a time when you run.

I'm terrific. I don't even know what I'm doing here.

I'm the old fat dude.

I'm thinking I just had another hip surgery

I'm trying that flying acrobat thing you did.

I've always been the super clever one,

I've been crazed lately

I've been in kind of a weird place,

I've been so anxious for your arrival.

I've been so anxious for your arrival.

I've been studying tai chi.

I've been training four hours a day for six months.

I've just... I've been... I've been a little worried about him.

I've never seen anything like it.

If anyone tries to enter the livery,

If I'm near water, I got one eye on the water, you hear me?

If my husband knew I was talking to you,

If you come here without your sister...

If you lose all three,

In order to save the region from the floods.

In the kitchen!

In this outfit, I might be able to pass. You guys stay here...

In your satchel, you have lockpicks.

Indeed, that most vicious Jumanjian conqueror is back.

Instead, there's actual hair growing out of my face!

Is he trying to fix it?

Is it really cold in here?

Is it really hot in here?

Is it...? I can't believe...

Is my curse.

Is one of the best things I ever got to be.

Is that an old video game console?

Is that rock... moving?

Is that the desert fruit?

Is that the guy that killed my parents?

Is that you?

Is this what you were looking for? This little thing?

It appears that I speak camel.

It belongs to my son.

It may be too late.

It means that she's got a clue for you.

It must be in a vault or treasure room or something.

It was really great.

It's a couple weeks. It's gonna be fine.

It's a cutscene. It's how we find...

It's a good look on me, huh? Huh?

It's a wonder I lasted as long as I did.

It's about finding the right timing.

It's all detailed in the letter I sent you, Dr. Bravestone.

It's all downhill from here.

It's covered with guards. I don't know how we'll get in.

It's detailed in the letter I sent you,

It's gone.

It's hard to find people who really know how to do this.

It's just an obstacle course.

It's just... I saw all your pictures on Instagram,

It's more like a breakfast place now.

It's not a prison.

It's not the moment for it. Forget it.

It's okay. How you doing?

It's probably the heater. It's broken.

It's really good to see you, Ed.

It's really good to see you, Eddie.

It's scary.

It's something, isn't it?

It's your strengths and weaknesses.

Jan, Spencer!

Jumanji berry?

Jumanji is in grave danger. We need your help at once.

Jumanji is in great peril.

Jumanji!

Jumanji!

Jumanji?

Jump!

Jurgen the Brutal awaits.

Jurgen the Brutal!

Jurgen the Brutal. Is that Barbara's boy?

Just a bird, okay? Come on, get moving. Get out of here.

Just get to it, would you?

Just hurry up. I don't have all day.

Just listen. This is a dangerous place.

Just stay on...

Just, I don't know, whistle or something.

Kaputski.

Kill them all!

Knowing much about hippos until right now.

Known throughout the world

Last one. Aim for the center of the parabola!

Later.

Leave me alone!

Leaving this to come see you.

Let me tell you something.

Let's blow this joint, huh?

Let's get out of here.

Let's get you out of here.

Let's go!

Let's go.

Let's never go back there.

Let's take this berry and go meet them.

Like he always said I would?

Like I wasn't the guy I thought I was.

Like it's just a matter of time

Like you ate something bad.

Like, I finally figured out who I was or something.

Like, I'm a total horse.

Like... I could do anything.

Likewise.

Listen to me, it is game over.

Listen to me, Jurgen and his army

Little Morris.

Lockpicks? Why would I have lockpicks?

Long distance relationships are hard.

Long live Dagfinn!

Long live Dagfinn.

Look at these. Look at what I got.

Look like your stomach is upset.

Look!

Look.

Looks like the last level.

Love you too, Mom.

M. I love it. It's so hot.

Makes sense. He studies the entire language

Man, it is hot out here!

Mandrills are the heaviest of all monkeys.

Many brave souls died that day,

Martha, will you come with me?

Martha!

Martha!

Martha!

Martha! Ho!

Martha?

Martha?

Martha? You're the little girlfriend.

Maybe he went back for it or something?

Maybe he... I don't know,

Maybe if we could get through this quicker.

Maybe this character's not totally worthless.

Maybe under the dash.

Maybe you shouldn't touch it.

Meh! I'll be out of here in no time.

Meh! What do you want already?

Milo and Eddie.

Milo and Eddie.

Milo and I will break in and get the camels.

Milo Walker, darling.

Milo Walker.

Milo, I am telling you, this is not a good idea.

Milo, push on your left, like, chest area.

Milo, what's going on?

Milo!

Milo! Hey!

Milo?

Milo?

Milo?

Ming Fleetfoot.

Mm, my friend Carl is just like that.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Morning, sir. Sorry to barge in on you.

Mr. Walker, don't get too close to the water!

Much.

My camel's taking your side?

My grandpa beat up 45 strangers.

My grandpa will carry it.

My grandson's a guy.

My hip feels pretty good now.

My manager quit six months ago, moved to Philly.

My. "Zoology." That's what you were talking about earlier.

Never.

Nice shot, Switchblade!

Nice to see you too.

Nigel Billingsly at your service.

Nigel here wrote you a letter.

Nigel, we're looking for our friend.

Nigel, we're looking for someone.

No shit.

No, Grandpa Eddie, that's Switchblade!

No, it's a machine.

No, Martha!

No, no, no, it's okay.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no...

No, no, no, no!

No, no, no!

No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no...

No, no, no. Oh, no. We can explain.

No, no.

No, thank you.

No, that is Grandpa Eddie. And that, heh... is Milo.

No, we came here looking for him, actually.

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No! No!

No.

No.

No. Well, yeah. Kind of.

Nobody fine. You... Oh! Oh, oh!

Nobody knows that better than me.

Nobody said we'd have to do a whole new thing.

None taken.