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Home > Fred Sandford Soundboard
NSFW Audio: Use caution, some sounds may be offensive
9114 South Central.
And I bet you know understanding.
And just what does that mean?
And what I wanna know is how do I start getting my Social Security?
And what you doing home anyway?
Are you the owner?
Because you had your shot yet.
Black Brown tan Sport coat.
But Are you ready to give up some of your teeth?
But I would have to wait about white.
Can you keep a secret?
Can you speak a little louder? But I have to have my phone.
Could you learn to be white?
Don't stop now, I'm getting excited.
Donna or Mrs Harris.
Fine, did you go down to the Mail tab lazy and get you a ticket the way your brain is been vacationing?
Fred Sandford Soundboard Sound
Get out of here and take your mother with you.
Had said goodbye, vamoose adios, Ciao. So long. Get your head yet.
Have you thought about getting married again?
He's 22 or 32.
Hey hey what you do guys doing over there?
His name is al Banks.
How come it takes so long?
How much will I be getting every month?
How would you like 1 cross julep?
I gotta go now I have a customer here.
I raise my voice when I get ready.
I want to buy a two $300 worth of haberdash.
I'll make it my business. What are you doing over there?
I'm 65 years old today.
I'm friend.
I'm having a party over here and I got a big pot of onions to Ansem Ripple budget coming over.
I'm looking for my son Lamont.
I'm missing a person.
I'm thinking about giving your face alteration and you pick it up Tuesday.
It is not called for a cab out an hour ago and so far did no cab come yet.
Lamont Stanford.
Leave me alone.
Look kind of queer.
No speak English.
No, this is just social conversation. See is like the breaking nice Chittenden check.
Now here's the question.
Now, is this a person talking or just a machine?
So now we.
Suppose I come over your place.
There is a taxi cab coming.
Top fast, yeah, because I don't like my phone hung up while I'm doing this work.
Uh, huh, uh huh, uh huh ha ha.
Well is up you dummy.
Well that's the dumbest thing I've heard of.
Well, good 'cause this is the person talking to.
Well, what do you know?
What do you?
What's that got to do with me?
Where you going?
Who are you?
Who is this bimbo?
Will you hush?
Would you re instant replay? That's funny.
Would you say your first name was?
Yeah, don't tell no lie 'cause the lag and find you dead.
Yeah, I heard about a salesman that you have here and you'll have a Desiree. Not only let him sell me some haberdash
Yeah, it's funny how you get no sun in all your life and then forget it. It just popped right out of your mind. Boom, you know.
Yeah, let you talk first.
Yes, get hot popwell.
Yes, real sweet.
You better read your Bible.
You can put the phone, do you hear?
You didn't dump. You know how to get mad, and I call you and me.
You drunken lush.
You know how old I am, I'm 65.
You want to try to find a brain cell and find a cheap one because you ain't got no trade in.
You will be a lot of trouble, but we got a lot of friends in Washington DC.
Your monkey face fat bottom gorilla.