Glee - Season 5 Edit

A 100% Sapphic goddess.

A Absolutely. I would love to. I I am your lump of coal.

A And dare I say it? You just might be the breakout star

A and great event for a cause that

A And, you know, you'll make her sound like me?

A Are you a friend of Paolo's?

A Are you kidding? What happened? Did you miss your flight?

A band with the raw sex appeal of Pamela Anderson

A bill of sale granting

A blood and urine sample. It's just quick and simple.

A capella is worth a shot.

A certain place in the McKinley hierarchy,

A certain song be performed.

A clean, spotless bill of health.

A constant string of "don't belongs."

A couple of dogs for a walk around the block,

A couple of posters, Maggie... we're just following the trail.

A dance known as twerking from McKinley.

A dark cloud comes over her whiskery little chin.

A debonair homosexual,

A diva off?

A dream come true.

A dweeb in a wheelchair, but my girlfriend's a cheerleader.

A fake Chihuahua.

A few minutes with a girl and then get away.

A film by Artie Abrams, take one.

A flaky, yet buoyant sugar kissed

A form of narcissism,

A friend of yours told me it was one I couldn't miss.

A friend wouldn't stand any of this.

A full year to get pregnant.

A gallon jug of ProActiv solution

A gift from God

A glam rock Ebenezer Scrooge.

A good person. I'm not here to fix you, Jake.

A good run with the show,

A group of friends rallied together

A hapless invalid,

A hard time keeping solid foods down, so...

A hell of a lot better than me.

A huge hit. And so is everybody else,

A Katy Perry song

A lesson in tolerance, I was teaching myself one,

A little bit of this oil on you.

A little bit. There you go. Just look over this way.

A little head start by telling us

A little help, guys?

A little more heat. Come on.

A little more protein, my outside self

A lock on your door.

A long time ago.

A longstanding tradition here at McKinley High

A lot about our last conversation.

A lot of people look at him as a hero.

A lot of sex.

A major chemical spill in National Park.

A married 37 year old,

A mass audience?

A miserable, self centered bitch,

A Natural Woman" begins)

A new, less controversial Christmas episode containing

A night of sturdy, spirited lovemaking

A once in a generation talent, I meant it,

A part of this band, we don't just get to help

A penis flytrap, Marley.

A photo with that dog later, so...

A post that will be made permanent

A prejudiced bone in his body.

A private part of the school?

A quartet is 25% more powerful.

A quiet hush fell over the expectant crowd.

A real, real hit.

A relationship that involves any level of honesty.

A relatively large portion of the time.

A reminder from the City of Angels!

A round of applause for the inventor of the fitness craze

A second national championship to remember us with.

A second place showing

A secret list of the show choirs

A single answer, and it's Rachel Berry."

A song on the radio?

A split second before he writes 'em on the board.

A spot on the spot.

A star is a star. It doesn't matter where in the sky I shine.

A strong plan for this Katy song, and I think

A sweet side of you that I don't get to see very often.

A thing.

A tiger can't change his stripes.

A toast.

A town car.

A urine test and another one a vaccination,

A week, so it's a little, you know, tiring, but...

A working booty and the right attitude and education.

A writer to hang out with the star to figure out the show?

A year ago, I was dating one girl

A year ago, I would have been terrified

A... mazing!

A) Don't ever look directly at me again, Keebler.

Aah! Rachel, quit hogging the bathroom!

About a career in the arts.

About all of your success.

About an outrageous new dance called...

About an ugly duckling who gets dumped,

About Barbra Streisand when she played Fanny.

About being a real New Yorker

About being okay with Kurt kicking you out of the band.

About Elliot, don't let on, even for a second.

About her in the span of an hour.

About how much you love your sisters from Glee Club.

About how watching Kurt and Mercedes sing got me all sentimental

About it, actually.

About my obsession with Broadway divas.

About our core wounds.

About playing Fanny night after night after night,

About residents only being in the show.

About sex, to be honest.

About that glee kid in the wheelchair.

About that. So I'm gonna skip college, too,

About the tattoo and everything,

About the whole S E X thing.

About those college programs I mentioned, and,

About three months. Well, you know,

About to go through the greatest triumph in her life.

About Victorian prostitutes.

About what happened, but trust me, but I took Krav Maga

About what it feels like

About what their tattoo means.

About what you're gonna say next.

About what your life together

About your own popularity.

About your snide, nasty mouth and bad boy attitudes.

About, you know, me working late

Absolutely no one's favorite New Direction!...

Absolutely.

Academic decathlon, actual decathlon

Acne riddled bodies.

Across the board raves, and I don't want to jinx it,

Actually done a number together. No, and as seniors we...

Actually gets in the way of what you're trying to accomplish.

Actually I was kind of planning on it,

Actually, George Lucas wrote this one.

Actually, I am paying Eliot to run lines with me,

Actually, I hope to be more of a leader,

Actually, I think he was talking about Chicago,

Actually, I wanted to see the Rachel Weisz Daniel Craig Betrayal...

Actually, I've entered a bunch of contests, Ryder.

Actually, let's just take a beat and...

Actually, Mr. Shue, I was hoping for this number that...

Actually, that was Becky! With her Twister!

Actually, Tina, you're McKinley's biggest bitch.

Actually, we did it all over your apartment.

Adam Hetrick

Admit what?

Admits that she was wrong. You broke this.

Adult Web site

Adultery. No.

After a poorly executed cannonball

After a year of pleas from fans all over the world,

After deciding on it at the very last moment.

After graduation, all happy and supportive.

After graduation, I just...

After her husband's untimely demise.

After one's self.

After our last conversation, and, you know,

After the school board meeting, I thought it was smooth sailing,

After the unpleasantness of our last encounter,

After what happened with Brittany,

After your pathetic night of.

Again because they already went out and she broke up with him

Again, I don't know how this pertains to what I'm talking about.

Again?

Again?

Against everyone else.

Agreed to kick me out of the band?

Ah ha ha ha! You lose again!

Ah, ah, ah. I...

Ah, I love everything about it.

Ah, just fly out for Tuesday, and do the test, and then you

Ah, just goes to show you, even in New York,

Ah, Rachel.

Ah, Samgelina Jolie.

Ah, settling in nicely, then, are we?

Ah, T. Rex?

Ah!

Ah!

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. And she said that you passed on him

Ah. Go ahead.

Ah. I was gonna ask you, uh,

Air Force, actually.

Aka Dr. Ross, on ER.

Aka my flask.

AKA Starchild.

Albeit five weeks late.

Albums.

All about Ewoks and how they're polygamists.

All about their lunches, and their late night phone calls,

All all I've ever wanted to do...

All alone and wanting some company.

All considered scandalous

All day to kiss your fat ass.

All great change has come from people who refused

All I ask is that it's in color, in English,

All I did was drive to Home Depot

All I did was steal back the Kurt puppet

All I know is I want the sexual organs

All I need is a chance, and I swear I would

All I needed to see.

All I want to do is just get through this week

All I'm gonna say is that all of us want some piece

All I've ever wanted in here was to feel chosen.

All in favor of helping Blaine?

All kinds of stuff.

All my dreams had come true,

All my hands are above the waist!

All night long.

All of April's assets,

All of that ambition is just you trying to prove us wrong.

All of that is great,

All of the cabdrivers in New York

All of the friendly competition between those two

All of the success in the outside world

All of them, actually.

All of this all over again.

All of us... we're all going to New York together!

All of you that were together from the very beginning

All right, all right, all right, all right!

All right, all right, all right.

All right, all right.

All right, big week, guys.

All right, boys, I don't want...

All right, bye

All right, cattle kids.

All right, come on.

All right, don't cry.

All right, dress rehearsal. Places. Let's go.

All right, eat up.

All right, everybody,

All right, everybody, circle up. I have a surprise.

All right, everybody!

All right, everybody. It's time to get

All right, everyone partner up

All right, fine.

All right, fine.

All right, fine. Yeah, just friends.

All right, Gagas, I'm taking over this Monster Ball,

All right, got your burger and your salad. Enjoy.

All right, guys, time to put our new trophy in the case.

All right, hold on.

All right, I got to ask.

All right, I have this vision.

All right, I like this plan,

All right, just give us the plaque back.

All right, ladies and gentlemen, Blaine Anderson.

All right, ladies, remember, we got band rehearsal tonight.

All right, let me break it down for you.

All right, let's just be adults and put everything back

All right, let's stop

All right, now let's go do something.

All right, Rachel Berry...

All right, see you guys tomorrow.

All right, settle down, Puppet Tina. Okay. I get it. Blainey Days...

All right, Starchild, it is time

All right, that that sounds really fun,

All right, the last time we tried dating,

All right, then,

All right, uh, one sip,

All right, unacceptable.

All right, we're gonna get scary

All right, well, as seniors, Mr. Shue asked us

All right, what can I get you two?

All right, what is his name?

All right, where is she? Kurt called me

All right, you basic bitches, feet should width apart.

All right, you chipmunks.

All right!

All right?

All right?

All right? I I'm genuinely happy for you.

All right? It's Santana's now.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. I want you to give me my shot.

All right. Let's get you up.

All right. Thank you.

All right. Tina.

All right. Well...

All Showgirls on you and win.

All that potential.

All the chorus parts, if you want. Tempting.

All the diversity. Oh.

All the emotional stress that I'm under right now,

All the greats do it.

All the Katys sing a Gaga song,

All the money that's been

All the people come here because I am their taste maker.

All the students who travel through this auditorium

All the world's problems doesn't mean that it has to.

All these awesome professors

All these incredible retired Broadway performers.

All these little lady elves are dressed

All this stuff is about, that's going on?

All we would have heard for months was

All week long.

All you have to do is share it with everybody.

All you have to do is walk out on the curb and put your hand

All you need is just a little magic.

All you've been talking about for years

ALL: ♪ I love you just the way you are... ♪

ALL: ♪ The way you are ♪

ALL: ♪ You may be right ♪

ALL: ♪ You may be right ♪

ALL: Cheers!

ALL: Shut up, Blaine!

Allegedly banded together and got rid of the trolley cars.

Allowing me to demolish this office down to the studs,

Almost no English and she's always watching

Alone.

Also if you try to walk, people will look at you weird.

Also the subways isn't working

Also watch out for terrorists.

Also, I'm here to teach dance to the homeless,

Also, I've been threatened with poisonings several times,

Although I came up with an amazing one.

Although in actuality, there aren't a million of them.

Although it would be a crime to break this look.

Although last time I counted,

Although there aren't a lot of women like you.

Although they're not to be trusted, okay?

Although, if you can clear out some space for us here,

Always, always brings me good luck.

Always.

Always. I know.

Am I an idiot

Am I okay?

Am I right? Do you want to go to college?

Am I still here? Am I invisible?

Am I?

Am just as good as you.

Am moving out.

Amateur open mic night?

Amazing audition video,

Amazing man any of us have ever met.

Amazing new body.

Amazing!

Amazing!

Amazing.

Amazing.

Amen, but...

Amen!

Amen.

Amen.

America faces a much more

America is under attack.

America,

America, your prayers have been answered.

America's favorite alcoholic dwarf whore.

An all expense paid trip

An antique glass angel,

An Apple Jacks box,

An autographed copy

An entire act dedicated to biracial Judaism

An extra plane ticket to New York City.

An intermission.

An old lady in Florida may have paid for my condo,

An Olympic event in being totally gay.

An outcast and a misfit, it... it all became okay.

An underground teacup dog fighting ring in Miami.

And "Elliott's hair is so full and thick

And "her movements are wildly bizarre."

And 100 stories tall.

And 70 million rats,

And a a Kurt and a Goldie.

And a belief that together they could do anything.

And a booklet of JetBlue vouchers.

And a bunch of other loser trophies standing with it.

And a clear form of sexual bullying.

And a dean who doesn't like me or support me.

And a flute that will never avenge

And a flute...

And a fun fact: the name "Ohio" originates

And a JetBlue voucher?

And a kitty lives in my pants

And a little piece of wood with a picture

And a nasal, Muppety disabled kid

And a select group of students have been asked to perform

And a splash of hot sauce.

And a very good evening to everyone.

And adopt that dog?

And affirmation. (Billy Joel's "You May Be Right" begins)

And after a lot of soul searching,

And after the age of 35,

And after this, I thought we could second act Pippin.

And after we're done singing the song,

And after what happened to him a few weeks ago,

And again, every time.

And again. Five, six, seven, eight. Go one, two... four.

And all hell broke loose.

And all I got back was an e mail saying

And all I see is you in it.

And all I wanted to do was to scissor you

And all Kurt's got is NYADA and the diner

And all of this is happening because I can finally manifest my vision

And all of you,

And all that governs it.

And all that is just so I'll let you touch my boobs?

And all the busses have lifts,

And all the fun that you must be having.

And all these girls are like the new up and comers

And all those MoonPies I see you

And all we've got left is his voice in our head.

And all your old friends will

And already has a wall missing.

And also Annie Sullivan's landlady in The Miracle Worker

And also captain of the water polo team.

And also impressed.

And although I won't be attending the school anymore,

And although there wasn't much of it,

And and all of your...

And and being in Funny Girl. And, you know, I was thinking

And and I just started taking guitar.

And and I won't get into the whole thing

And and I'm I'm gonna dry up my sinuses with a humidifier,

And and I'm not gonna make it

And and if I could just, you know, make it to this,

And and it wasn't for long, but, you know,

And and now you're just gonna quit?

And and there are certain windows of time

And and top of the clothes.

And and try to enjoy graduation.

And and we are together.

And And, well, he did say it was sexy kissing me

And another one, a national commercial.

And anyone who has a problem with that

And anything that says, "Look at me,

And apparently, the only song

And Artie and I have decided

And Artie and Mike Chang and Puck and Principal Figgins.

And artists should be allowed to fail.

And as a coach

And as a former teen stripper, I understand the...

And as bonus, my biceps aren't looking so bad,

And as Dorothy Gale always said,

And as he strains to push his wheelchair up that ramp,

And as this beautiful poster clearly states,

And ask for special treatment when you haven't earned it?

And ask that Tina be named this year's valedictorian.

And asked you to audition for this TV show,

And asking you to wait that long

And at home sex change kits.

And at the end of the day, that's what I came here for.

And at this point, I'm taking desperate measures.

And Auditioning for the Camera class together...

And B: she needed a place to stay, and I needed the money.

And Baby Jesus was found stuffed down Figgins' chimney.

And bad kinds of yeast.

And be so cute. It is,

And Bea Arthur and Barbara Bush.

And beating us at booking the first gig.

And beautiful they are... it's like they don't care.

And Becky has been scarred for life.

And Becky's a becretary.

And Becky's back in Ohio.

And before exploding said hierarchy

And before Finn, I used to sing alone...

And believe it or not, not every single design decision

And bigger...

And black John Lennon.

And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

And Blaine and Sam moved in with Mercedes.

And Blaine auditioned for NYADA.

And Blaine's getting wooed by a rich society dame

And blow this debate wide open!

And bone Will Schuester well into my 60s.

And bony, but at least this one is kind to you.

And Bree's so horrible and it's like, geez,

And bring home another national championship.

And Brittany and sugar and the girl in the wheelchair

And Brittany, you'll be playing Nittany.

And Broadway star by night.

And brought down the hammer in way too long.

And Brown still hasn't told me if I got in yet.

And budgeting their money.

And bus service has been canceled due to snipers.

And buy a tree for $20, but, yes.

And buy some computers.

And buying you a Le Car.

And by single, we mean single prom dates...

And by the way, I I know

And came to pay my respects.

And can hear his voice so clearly.

And cat fished

And cleaning up our tarnished reputation,

And considerably stupider than you.

And considered myself lucky.

And considering all the scandalous behavior

And continue our tradition of Tuesday lunch together.

And cooking healthier

And could really use your silky smooth dance moves

And counselors and new friends that'll have your back.

And cruise ship performers who can't wait to get on

And crush you like a bug.

And cuddled up in that teeny, tiny car.

And dancing around in your underwear,

And dancing lessons and only child adoration

And Dani's Roller Derby team became state champions.

And dating.

And decided she wanted to be a skank.

And despite the fact that facilities management is under your jurisdiction,

And Diane von Furstenberg at Annie Leibovitz's house,

And different levels of experience.

And disinfecting everything again.

And do a living nativity.

And do not get me started on those anonymous comment trolls.

And do whatever you want, whenever you want, all right?

And do you realize in my short time as acting principal,

And dodged that bullet.

And don't go soft on me.

And don't just say no,

And don't think you're not in danger just because

And don't worry, I'll take...

And eat on this food and you Skype with Blaine,

And elevate the student ranked number three

And embarrassed, because he turned out to be exactly

And end up being human trafficked by the Russian Mob,

And ended up rapping for high schoolers

And enrolled full time as a student at NYADA.

And even after all of that amazingness,

And even if I did, Kurt loves you.

And even if I wasn't, I'd kind of be freaked out

And even then, I will come back from the dead

And even though I know he's getting ready to graduate,

And even though I never actually got to have a bed,

And even though this this wasn't a fight,

And even though your DNA and millions of years of evolution

And ever since, I don't think they find me quite so scary.

And everybody here is basically paid to be rude to you.

And everyone is staring.

And everyone knows all your decent singers graduated.

And everyone knows it's been a very rough year for you.

And everyone likes her.

And everyone thinks it's cool.

And everything out of your dorm.

And everywhere you look, it's, like, there's all these beautiful people

And exciting considering my background

And explained the whole situation to them,

And fabric and even yarn and make a puppet?

And fall in love all over again,

And Fanny Brice is clearly *******.

And feeding your family, I suggest you do

And find each other

And Fondue for Two has been on hiatus

And for just a second,

And for the record... and not that it's anyone's business,

And for those of you that know me,

And for what?

And for your move back to the loft,

And forcing us elves to work at the sweatshop,

And forever.

And forget all about her douche ex boyfriend.

And form a new directions! Dynasty.

And fratboyphysicals.com isn't gonna judge me.

And get pine cones, deer antlers,

And get some stuff

And get the hell out of there.

And get this, my fiancé called me a "Puppet Master!"

And giggles and stickers, and then, the second

And give you the trophy to keep.

And Glee Club will never end, Mr. Shue, because

And go back to bed.

And God knows what they hear from us.

And guess what.

And guys to love guys,

And had a child with a celebrity crooner.

And Hannah Montana

And has been trying to sleep with me this whole time.

And have a family with the girl of my dreams.

And have absolutely no idea who they are.

And he and Finn were very close

And he deserves all the attention he's getting.

And he didn't eat any of your weird, strange,

And he finally notices my boobs?

And he heard a rumor that the toilet seats were heated.

And he helped me see all that I could be

And he made great Manhattans.

And he really loved it, and I might get

And he really wants me to go and...

And he says that Thursdays are kind of their dead nights.

And he thinks Angela Lansbury's performing.

And he tied me up.

And he used to date Tina then Brittany then Kitty,

And he wanted me to be his Rudolph,

And he was a little hard to get out of bed.

And he was just unlucky enough to be there for it.

And he was prone to overemotional

And he was... our leader in here.

And he will be okay.

And he would have told you that even though

And he, like, didn't even say "I'm sorry"

And he's all up in that girl Marley with the fat mom,

And he's got a baby on the way!

And he's holding all our hands, and he's telling us,

And he's, like, inching towards this super sweet,

And hearing you sing.

And heaven forbid,

And helium...

And help him out,

And her confidence is shot.

And her inane, out of touch meddling.

And her partner was Fred Astaire, maybe the greatest dancer of all time.

And here she will remain indefinitely

And him just pretending to listen,

And his dopey little Glee Club.

And his junk flapping around on stage,

And his penchant for staging elaborate private bacchanalia

And his precious collection of neckerchiefs.

And hit the stoner kid in the head,

And honestly, if we can get a bunch of cutthroat show choirs

And how I see myself,

And how many of them quit their shows

And how second place is actually an achievement.

And how.

And humiliated by making sure the show wasn't canceled.

And hurt myself on the dance floor,

And hurting people

And I agree with you, Artie.

And I ain't ashamed to say it.

And I almost passed out... but I didn't.

And I also snagged you

And I am betting that we are going to get a lot of hits.

And I am going for it.

And I am kind of magic at baking prepackaged goods

And I am seriously sensing

And I am too overcome with Finn Hudson related grief

And I ask you,

And I asked her to marry me six months in.

And I asked this guy for a Harley Davidson tattoo.

And I became a man who was kind

And I bet that was very painful,

And I brought a few chums to help me out.

And I can't be around this negative energy anymore.

And I can't be bothered to keep wasting my time.

And I can't return to Lima.

And I can't think of one.

And I cannot jeopardize my track record because

And I chose I would do whatever it takes

And I command you to open your laptops immediately.

And I couldn't help but notice something.

And I did it.

And I didn't know if I'd be able to keep up.

And I didn't want to be a third wheel.

And I do believe that if we were to take that step,

And I do like you, William.

And I do want to sing with you,

And I don't care

And I don't deserve to be her.

And I don't need producers to tell me that.

And I don't need, like, a big moment or anything,

And I don't think a Tempestt Bledsoe impression is easy.

And I don't think he would've done all those things

And I don't think I'm ever gonna find someone else

And I don't want that anymore because I want to be

And I don't want to do the showcase anymore.

And I don't want to mess things up, you know?

And I don't want to ruin what we have by moving too fast.

And I don't want you to be insecure

And I even got the label to bring along my girl Brittany

And I even have a reporter from NYTheatreNews.com ready

And I feel pretty comfortable in my skin.

And I felt so violated and vulnerable.

And I finally have a girlfriend

And I gave him my opinion.

And I get distracted playing video games,

And I get it, and this is

And I get it, because of everything you've been through.

And I get that part over with.

And I get to curl up in bed with you, get under the covers...

And I get why you want to try everything

And I got my vials all mixed up,

And I got you a free pair!

And I got you your very own key to my apartment.

And I grieve by insulting those who mean the most to me.

And I guess I found it shocking to find two people kissing

And I guess I just needed to be shocked back to life.

And I guess something got lost in translation

And I guess that means that I care about you.

And I hate it so much!

And I have a feeling you think she is.

And I have a lot to think about,

And I have a new best gay.

And I have a very good feeling about this

And I have to be there. I told them it's ridiculous

And I have to go to rehearsal.

And I have yet to receive one text being, like,

And I haven't given you any less than 150%.

And I honestly... I just... it made me feel so much better.

And I hope the newest member of our band.

And I just feel so lucky

And I just needed to snap out of it.

And I just want to get the hell out of his house.

And I just... I thought...

And I knew that we were meant for each other.

And I knew who you were when I got into this.

And I know I could have messed everything up, but I didn't even care.

And I know that I love you, but I don't know,

And I know that I screwed things up really badly,

And I know that there have been a lot of memorials for him,

And I know that they're on the International Space Station,

And I know that you think that you're a little rusty right now,

And I know this is awful to say, but...

And I know what I'm about to say

And I know you were just here,

And I leave my clothes around the apartment,

And I let it motivate me.

And I like them cooked extra hot

And I look at it, and it's awesome.

And I love that you guys like my songs.

And I love to hone it like a rough diamond

And I love you guys

And I love your pajamas?

And I loved him, and he loved me.

And I loved the way that felt.

And I loved you as Lancelot.

And I might have just flat out stole my lexus

And I move back into my natural state

And I must admit, I do respond to your look.

And I need a little break from men.

And I need some freedom to be able to find her myself.

And I need some seed cash to start my Madonna cover band

And I need to wait, Sam.

And I need you guys to just be a little supportive.

And I need you to help me choreograph a number.

And I needed you to be here.

And I panicked so then she gave me these ones that were all...

And I practically have the score memorized.

And I promise you, some day,

And I realized, well, I haven't marched in here

And I really appreciate what you tried to do for me here,

And I regret to inform you

And I so want to know about your life.

And I spent my entire life pretending that I had one.

And I spent so much time transitioning away from goth,