Glee - Season 3 Edit

A few moments before I must chastise the cafeteria cooks

A guy to dress in drag to win?

A healthy dose of props,

A knife?!

A last minute switcheroo for Carmen Tibideaux

A little more in the background this year,

A little of what I got.

A lot of pep talks over the years, but remember,

A Metro North pass from New York to New Haven.

A national championship in Glee Club.

A one, two, three, four, five, six.

A part of me wants to lock these doors

A reminder that my episode of Intervention

A show choir celebrity.

A superstar by Christmas, guaranteed.

A teacher's job is done when his students don't need him anymore?

Aah, I pricked my thumb!

About an upset stomach,

About either one of those things.

About for three years is New York, Broadway, Streisand, Dreams, Broadway.

About lost hopes and dreams

About not getting enough solos,

Absolutely not.

Actually accidentally got anyone pregnant.

Actually, she kind of got ignored last year, too.

Actually, Tina's sort of been ignored the whole time

Adult relationships can be.

After 'cause he had dumped more dweebs in it

After Rachel shows us her solo for Nationals.

After we open those envelopes,

After you went to bed and we told stories.

After you've earned your college degree.

Ah, you want some more, there, Nancy?

Airs at the end of June

All I could think of was,

All I want is, for one moment, to feel like you...

All I... All I ever wanted to do, was wear a dress and sing.

All my dreams have come true.

All right, gather around, everyone!

All right, that's it. Show time. Hands in, everyone.

All right, there's no other option but just to exceed all expectations.

All right, we all have our marching orders.

All right? You're not deferring.

All right.

All the help you've been giving us

All we're doing for the next three hours

Alright, let me get ready.

Although I can't argue with the results,

Although I'm still not 100% sure

America's sweetheart, Lindsay Lohan!

An all original, grade A, badass.

An exceptional case, should we accept you.

An idiot for a principal.

Ancient history.

And a 401k retirement plan,

And a chair that can spin me around?

And afterwards, we're going to make out

And and he did a lot

And auditions to guarantee we'll all go there together next year.

And be done with it.

And before you close the door, I just,

And being the captain of 16 clubs

And being there without Kurt would be like

And blackmailed you into joining the glee club.

And by helping you, I help us all.

And came to school wearing a fricking dress. Are you looking

And Christmas bonuses

And Democratic City Councilman representing the new North Side

And don't worry, I got a mix of race

And dress up like a lady,

And ethnicities so you can keep up with your little diversity charade.

And ever solo since, she's either gotten booed

And every bit as pretty,

And every year after that until I get in.

And everybody said what they wanted to win this thing for,

And everyone's on my ass

And focus your attention on the screen.

And forced Mr. Shue to give the song to Rachel,

And he deserves to be treated as such.

And he must be really proud of himself

And he wants to sign her.

And hopefully nobody will get tragically injured this time.

And how am I supposed to do that?

And how do I know?

And how is becoming an actor...

And I admire that.

And I am requesting that

And I bet you that they don't even bother to dream anymore.

And I couldn't have done it without you.

And I did all of this without missing a single day of work

And I do all of this while keeping my boyfriend interested

And I don't even know how much of it was actually real,

And I don't want to waste lose a year

And I figured it was only right to return it

And I hate feeling like this.

And I have my makeup and my epic love for you.

And I know every year at school Figgins gives away

And I know that I'm kind of a long shot,

And I know you've had a tough year but you

And I pity anyone who tries to get in your way.

And I plan on using my retirement to finally

And I realized everything I was missing.

And I think it's time for you and your friend to go.

And I think that that sets me apart.

And I want my last week here to be about giving back

And I want to make sure that we do.

And I was singing "Sit Down You're Rockin' the Boat"

And I will carry you every step of the way, so...

And I will let you handle this rehearsal,

And I will lose my Cheerios! to Coach Roz Washington.

And I wish that everyone would wait until they were

And I won't.

And I would really love it

And I'm familiar with the choreography, of course,

And I'm gonna get to say,

And I'm gonna have the best time

And I'm gonna smash this glass,

And I'm here, Perez,

And I'm not ashamed to admit this... I want to win.

And I'm not going to let it happen again.

And I'm probably just as annoying, but...

And I'm so grateful to have you by my side.

And I'm tired of it.

And I'm very sorry if I made you feel like a supernumerary.

And I've spent a lot of time resenting her for it.

And if we're meant to be together,

And in spite of the fact that I've been pregnant now

And is there anything better

And it is a far cry from starting out on the stage at Nationals in a dress.

And it really hurts.

And it was as much for me as it was for you.

And it's a lot of pressure, but I'm not worried.

And it's all riding

And jock strap

And keeping a 3.86 GPA.

And Kurt was Finn, and he wanted to have sex with me, as you.

And lauding Vocal Adrenaline

And live in a little shoebox apartment together.

And lying about who the father of her unborn child was.

And maybe next year it'll be

And miniature pom poms.

And most days, I was also in the Dumpster.

And my Hoarders episode airs in early August.

And nailed his NYADA audition, while Rachel

And never saw me for the things that made us different.

And none of us would be going to Chicago

And not take no for an answer."

And now a round of applause to your top three finalists

And now I'm a poster to every child that's different. I can't handle it... I just can't handle it.

And now the seniors of McKinley High School, class of 2012,

And now they have a job they hate

And now we're free.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, quiet, please.

And of course the Cherrios welcomed me back with open arms.

And on that note,

And our plucky transsexual Porcelina,

And people forget the sacrifices you made.

And perform at Nationals as Porcelina.

And perhaps I played some small part

And physically satisfied

And plus my pillow and my blanket fell into the pool. Disaster.

And put on the one for University of Louisville.

And reach out and accept one other.

And secondly, if you don't love show choir,

And she hardly got a thank you.

And she totally choked.

And she's been in the New Directions!

And started walking towards each other,

And stay in here with everyone forever.

And text fighting with Mike, who says

And that decides her entire future?

And that I do have the talent and the ability

And that's what I love about us.

And that's what you missed on Glee.

And the Cheerios!

And the liberal media.

And the tips you made at the tire shop!

And the West Loop corridor,

And then I met you, Mr. Shue,

And then Joffrey in Chicago offered me a scholarship.

And then one day, just, they didn't.

And then we could eat Joe for the food,

And then we'll run it from the top.

And then we're gonna get married,

And then we're gonna live happily ever after.

And then you turned seven or eight,

And there is one more item on the agenda:

And there's nothing left that I can do.

And there's nothing you could have done

And there's something you need to know about her.

And they live a life that they don't even recognize.

And they sent out out acceptance letters this week.

And this costume is yours, Sugar,

And today he finally succumbed to the toxic fumes of Glee Club

And told me to never change.

And way better. I'll show up to my classes this time.

And we all said the same thing:

And we gotta pay our dues. SUGAR: Whatever.

And we need to get your solo ready,

And we saw that you're gonna be singing there

And we'll be working in a new Treble Tones number,

And we're just gonna let go.

And what I saw is not for the faint of heart.

And why didn't you tell me?

And working their butts off,

And you are over the top.

And you can't dictate what I write in your yearbook.

And you get really pale, and then you start putting your hands

And you know what questions Miss Duesenberry's gonna ask you,

And you probably did.

And you start to become this.

And you'll get your solos.

And you'll have to start smoking, though,

And you're back in the pool where you belong.

And you're better than you think you are.

And you're gonna be a star.

And you're gonna go to New York,

And you're putting it on me.

And you're the only one who can help me.

And you've never even set foot in the place, so...

And your diction wasn't crisp enough

And your light sashaying makes my tour de force performances

And your talent.

And, if I'm being totally honest...

And, like, totally terrifying.

And, uh, it was like I was living with an alien.

And, um, I can honestly say

And... it doesn't matter.

ANNOUNCER: And now it's time to announce

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,

ANNOUNCER: Please welcome to the stage from Carmel High in Akron, Ohio,

Another minute with you guys here like this.

Anyway, thanks for your time.

Are a year away for me,

Are going to sing for you.

Are you 100% sure you want to marry me?

Are you forgetting who you are, Jesse, okay?

Are you guys ready?

Are you insane?

Are you joking?

Are you sure that we're going the right way?

Aren't props a little cheesy?

Artie, help Puck with his geography.

ARTIE: With all the dedications

As a backup singer on an indie label.

As co captains of

As far as I'm concerned,

As his true magical self.

As I am 1/16 Native American.

As if they matter.

As part of a group that won Nationals.

As Uncle Jesse on Full House.

As well as the invitation to come and see my show choir

Asian Horror Movie!

At her NYADA audition, and literally all she's talked

At least 29 years old, with solid employment

At the Lyric Opera.

At the University of Louisville.

Auditioned for Juilliard four times?

Aw, screw that, I'm gonna show you.

Ay, what's a guy gotta do

Baby, I'm so sorry.

Back in Chicago after I body slammed

Bar none.

Be a good team player,

Be up on that stage and get one of the standing ovations

Because guess what? We don't have a choice.

Because I care about young artists

Because I was Jennifer Beals' dance double.

Because I worship The Artist.

Because it'll give me a chance

Because of how hard you hold on to stuff.

Because of one bad burrito.

Because that baby's gonna use those sharp ass teeth

Because the truth is,

Because this dress is a size two.

Because we went from the ghetto to the penthouse.

Because you blew an audition?

Because your boobs look slightly bigger today for some reason.

Because, in this room...

Because, Noah, you will never know how much you've helped me.

Becky Jackson hiding in a dummy filing cabinet

Been a little persistent, but I'm just...

Been waiting for:

Before I get deported.

Before that, you were a normal kid.

Before you come up to accept the award,

Before you graduate, can we sing together?

Before you left, so...

Being gay doesn't mean you're a cross dresser.

Being thrown around McKinley this week,

Besides, when did you become

Best way to get props is to use props.

Bieste admitted that her husband Cooter hit her,

BOTH: "Party in the back." Ew

Boy Chang, Berry or Lady Hummel.

BOY: Ooh hoo hoo hoo!

BOYS: Oh!

Break a heel.

Breath control is better,

Britt and I are gay and Mercedes is black,

Brittany, I understand you got into Purdue University?

Brittany, run us through it.

Brittany?

Broadway.

Brought to you in part by Salozy Edison Chevrolet,

Burn! Burn!

Burn! Come on!

But but we're just gonna, we're gonna sit here

But don't you think we should have the talk?

But every show choir in the country

But hey, maybe while you're in there,

But I am done with all this props madness.

But I can't go to either 'cause I'm not graduating.

But I don't feel that way.

But I don't think any of us have to wait

But I got a scholarship.

But I I wanted you to know the truth

But I implemented it.

But I just wanted to make sure

But I leave that here with my ring and with you.

But I meant thank you for everything.

But I need you to come with me

But I told her how you wiggled

But I want you to know that you are being heard.

But I wanted to mostly thank the men in the room

But I was an ass for most of high school.

But I was wondering if maybe

But I won a state title in football,

But I... I have all year to go and look at it.

But I'll get it.

But I'm happy to be sewing it.

But I'm just... I'm really not ready

But I'm sure whatever you said was really nice.

But if we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline at Nationals,

But it's fine.

But it's me, Rachel Berry.

But it's not my choice.

But it's yours to have.

But Jessie St. James was against Unique performing

But let me ask you. You've had an amazing career,

But looking at this amazing woman

But McKinley has made me a stronger,

But Mercedes tried some dive called "Señora Salsation."

But my main concern right now is for these kids.

But not anymore.

But not it's time to announce a winner.

But she lied and said she left him, when actually, she stayed.

But somehow you're slightly less evil.

But thank you. (chuckles)

But the advice I gave myself in your dream was good.

But the fact is, she gets it because she's exceptional.

But the focus, the drive.

But the phrasing is still emotionally flaccid.

But then we went around the room,

But then you, as Tina, told me, as Rachel,

But then,

But there's not one person in that audience

But they came in 12th. It was sort of a nightmare.

But they never get to win.

But this is the last moment before we know.

But this year, nothing.

But to get there,

But what does that say about what I think of me?

But what if it wasn't enough?

But what's the world worth

But whatever. I wanted a piece of this town to be there.

But when I do it, it's selfish.

But when two people go though what we've been through,

But when you get nervous, you get mean

But winning at Nationals will be the most important thing

But without a doubt, you are the ugliest woman I have ever seen.

But you and I, we got something in common.

But you are a key player.

But you do.

But you don't want a person in your life

But you just don't understand how complicated

But you know what I mean. When you two were together,

But you were born under a blessed gold star

But you're at your best when you're under pressure.

But your passion and your vocal range were admirable,

By a rabbi with our nearest and dearest.

By the Scale Blazers' haunting medley homage

By your letter and application, Finn.

C ! It's a Puckerman A+! I'm graduating! (cheers)

Can I use that as an exclusive?

Can people change that fast?

Can you do me one favor?

Can you hear me?

Can you hear me? Look at me.

Can you imagine what what it would be like for them

Can you keep a secret?

Can't wait to hear your solo

Can't we just have two final days of denial?

Can't. Have to go find gown fabric

Carmel High's Wade "Unique" Adams!

Carmen is going to say yes.

Carmen Tibideaux is coming, and we're gonna be perfect.

Carmen Tibideaux is teaching a master class at Oberlin.

Carmen Tibideaux isn't here, Mercedes still has a fever.

CARMEN: You've reaed the office of Carmen Tibideaux,

CAROLE: Your graduation gown with the extra long sleeves

Chasing their impossible dreams.

Chew your cud with your mouth closed.

Come hell or high water

Come here.

Come on, baby.

Come on, burn the joint down!

Come on, man!

Come on!

Come on.

Come with us to Nationals.

Congratulations to both teams standing with us onstage.

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Cool. 'Cause I always felt kind of bad about it.

Cooter was in 21 Jump Street?

COOTER: Hey, baby.

Countries of Central America.

Crap, I'm blanking. Come on!

Dad, I'm easy.

Dance that number. I can't sing it, either, not like...

Deal? Deal.

Deal.

Dean of Vocal Performance, at the New York Academy

Definitely.

Dick Butkus, I beg of you,

Did I tell you I got into Ohio State?

Did she have to take in the bolt of fabric with her?

Did you get there by playing by it safe?

Did you just call me Rachel?

Didn't even puke.

Didn't I read somewhere that you

Do what I never got the chance to do.

Do you have a Facebook account or Twitter account?

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to be me?

Do you have any idea how important Nationals is to me?

Do you know what it looks like

Do you love me?

Do you remember when it started?

Do you seriously think that we need

Do you want to know how I picture the end of my life?

Does my butt really have to compromise

Doesn't deserve a solo,

Doesn't mean we can be anything less than perfect. Perfect!

Don't doubt your talent, Tina.

Don't worry. You still get your Brownie patch

Don't you get it?! I'm nothing!

Don't... don't leave me, okay?

Dork clubs in the country?

Dramatic monologue?

Drop it!

Drop it! Get over here!

During that performance?

During that Trouble Tones number.

Each member of Vocal Adrenaline is in perfect sync.

Either you just returned from the peroxide factory

Elton John songbooks memorized,

EMCEE (over P.A.): Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 48th annual

Emotionally flaccid.

Ending together.

Enough!

Even all your arguing, it's about the work.

Even before Glee Club was kind of cool, you had our backs.

Even if it's just back into what you always were:

Even if we have to sit in these ugly fold out chairs.

Even more spine tingling, if that's even possible.

Even though we're definitely gonna beat you.

Every damn day!

Every moment I spend deleting

Every year, the judges give out an award for an MVP,

Everybody keeps talking about staying in touch,

Everyone else is so emotional.

Everyone has their part to play, right?

Everyone knows it.

Everything but him.

Everything seems like it's fallen into place.

Everything you've got,

Exactly. Again.

Except for you.

Exclusive that hits newsstands in September.

Extremely jealous.

Face it, Puck, you're the guy

Fall into the fountain.

Feel bad about a lot of things,

FIGGINS: And now the award you've all

FIGGINS: Prom royalty...

Fight, fight, fight!

Figure that out, so I just stopped wearing any at all.

Fill that bathtub with ice and see if we can't get

Fine by me.

Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry.

Finn Hudson.

Finn, wait.

FINN: Hi.

FINN: Welding helmets and leg warmers?!

Finn.

Five minutes to our award ceremony.

Five, six, seven, eight.

For a pregnant woman who's ass is so old

For a second there, I thought you were Beiste's sister.

For another year because of me, it makes me sick.

For every handi capable kid in the entire world.

For Friday Night Lights or something.

For Gaga's "Edge of Glory," which is up tempo.

For indeterminate number of months.

For me? Well, it's for the wedding.

For selling our frozen vegetables on the black market.

For the graphic birth photos

For the ******* part where you smash the glass. It'ske, the climax

For the rest of their lives.

For their ongoing commitment to diversity.

For this year's National Show Choir Championship.

For trying to help a loser learn something.

For your impending wedding celebration.

For your incredibly high comical boots.

Forever.

Forget about everything else. Take it.

Fort Benning, Georgia?

From now on

From the chorus? Yeah, from the chorus. Let's do it.

From Vocal Arednaline,

From William McKinley High School in Lima, Ohio,

Fulfilling my duties as costume coordinator

Funny thing about a kiss.

Game on.

Gentlemen, I asked for a cascade of sparks timed to the rhythm.

Get out of here!

Get out of here. I'm going to go.

Get ready test.

Giants in the Sky.

Girl Chang... Tina Blowin' Wang...

GIRL: Yeah.

Given the fact that Weezy's complaining

Go on a trip with dad or something.

Go softly into that sweet night.

Go to college, Santana.

Go, New Directions!

Going on and on about every little detail,

Going somewhere, Shannon?

Going to say goodbye to everyone else?

Good day to you.

Good for you.

Good luck to you.

Good luck today.

Good to know.

Got him to sign on the dotted line!

Graduation is just a few days away.

Grind, grind, pivot, kick, pivot, spin, flip, split.

Guys, I've asked for Sue's help because she's a winner,

Has a little girl with a big nose. WILL: Okay, Sue.

Has been poaching every kid I took a sniff of

Hate to say it, kiddo,

Hated your attitude.

Have something they'd like to say to you.

Have you had this money the whole time?

Have you heard back from Carmen Tibideaux yet?

Having your hair helmet revarnished,

Hawaiian, your favorite.

He posted of me on YouTube, singing "Disco Inferno"?

He pulled two soldiers out of a burning truck.

He saved their lives.

He tried to sell my iPhone for drugs.

He was really at his best.

He was really looking forward to.

He'll be reminded of his rejection every day.

He's a hero.

He's like Tina and Ike Turner... Together.

He's studying for geography

He/She will trounce us at Nationals,

Heard you two are getting married.

Hello...

Her temperature's 101 degrees.

Here at McKinley

Here's a little something

Hey, calm down! Hey, hey, calm down! Calm down!

Hey, Coach.

Hey, cool out!

Hey, everything okay?

Hey, Tina, can I talk to you?

Hey, Tina. What are you doing here?

Hey, you.

Hey! I don't want to hear any of this, "We can't do it without her,"

Hey! Oh! Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Just finishing up.

Hi, Madame Tibideaux, this is Rachel Berry calling.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. (chuckles)

High school judges are proven idiots.

Hit him!

Hit him!

Hit him! Hit him!

Hit him! Hit him! Hit him! Take him down!

Hit it!

Hold on, Mr. Shue. Hold on. You've given us

Holding Mike's hand or crying or smiling and swaying,

Hollywood gossip legend, Perez Hilton!

Hooray for double sided tape.

Hope you don't choke like you did in your NYADA audition.

How come when Rachel complains

How is that redemption for a man who did all that?

How many times I've cried about this?

How often do you come across the real deal?

How you're going to win us Nationals.

How's he doing, by the way?

How's the wedding planning going?

However, I feel it necessary to warn you:

I admire you, Quinn Fabray.

I admire your perseverance.

I always felt about you and Puck.

I am a show choir junkie.

I am a very busy woman.

I am in full imagery rendering mood, people.

I am one of the original Glee Club members,

I am proud of what you and I did together.

I am strangely turned on right now.

I am that sure you're something special.

I am tired of being silent.

I am your father.

I am.

I appreciate it, and you.

I auditioned for you two years ago.

I bet you that things used to go their way all the time,

I booked an executive maternity suite.

I brought it up last night and they were really quiet,

I can do everything Rachel Berry can.

I can't be racist, William,

I can't believe how supportive you are

I can't bring Finn to New York.

I can't dance with a little person. I can hardly walk.

I can't have to be there with you.

I can't help feeling like something's not right.

I can't help thinking I let him down, you know?

I can't make heads or tails about what it is your like.

I can't see through this helmet. BRITTANY: I took mine off.

I can't take the pressure.

I care that my baby's happy.

I compromised on the flowers.

I could do all of that. And you will.

I could drive.

I couldn't believe it when I heard that your

I defeated my Nubian nemesis.

I did a lot of reseah,

I did some research.

I didn't get in.

I didn't get in.

I didn't get it.

I didn't get it.

I didn't know he was an actor.

I didn't share what was in my heart

I didn't stand a chance.

I didn't talk about my politics,

I don't care!

I don't even know if I'm welcome

I don't hate you!

I don't have a back up plan, all right?

I don't know if I think that way anymore.

I don't know if Quinn... Okay.

I don't know who that is.

I don't know.

I don't know. I just think these new rules are

I don't know. I mean, when you're looking at both of them,

I don't need it.

I don't want to go to that cheerleading program

I don't want to miss it.

I feel like I I could have spent more time

I feel that way every day of my life!

I feel them. I was them.

I get up at 5:00 in the morning

I got a good feeling about it.

I got in.

I got into the school of my dreams and we won nationals.

I got one for me into New York.

I got shame about what happened between us,

I got to hand it to you, Sue.

I got us a couple of pies.

I gotta win at something.

I guess because in real life dreams are more complicated

I guess I'd be kind of rude if I refused.

I guess I've cried enough tears for three graduations.

I had no idea what I wanted to do, who I was.

I had this feeling, like we were just gonna win.

I hate to think you pull the same choke job up there today.

I have a 0.0 grade point average.

I have a confession to make.

I have an idea.

I have no memory of that.

I have sat, for three years, in the back of that choir room,

I have the entire Sondheim, Hamlisch, Lloyd Webber,

I heard that you came here today to see Rachel Berry.

I heard you singing in the shower in the locker room.

I I need to tell you something.

I I... Oh, my God!

I just don't want everything we worked for to collapse

I just have to accept the fact that I'm not going to.

I just kind of want

I just really, really, want to win, though.

I just thought you know, my man is a winner

I just want to say a few words before we go out there.

I kind of screwed up that experience, huh?

I kind of want to wait.

I know how hard that is for you

I know how this looks,

I know that drama school auditions

I know them.

I know who I'm voting for.

I know. I'm sorry. I always go

I led your tragic band of misfits to a victory at nationals.

I left him.

I like it.

I like this. This will work.

I like to dress up like a woman.

I liked them, but they weren't the best singers and dancers.

I lost ten pounds during that performance.

I lost you.

I love you guys so much.

I love you so much.

I love you!

I love you.

I love you.

I may turn into the Incredible Hulk if you piss me off.

I mean, a kid who liked to dust, but...

I mean, he hit you and you stayed.

I mean, how did we let it get so out of hand?

I mean, I have no idea why you would choose

I mean, I tried to keep up, but, uh, you know,

I mean, I'm behind you 100%.

I mean, if I can convince Carmen Tibideaux

I mean, in a sea full of kids

I mean, most guys I know don't even know how

I mean, not in terms of grades and stuff,

I mean, that's just silly.

I mean, they made it to Nationals last year in New York,

I mean, think of most of the adults we know, okay?

I mean, this is Rachel Berry's dress, right?

I mean, you weren't wrong.

I mean, you'll basically be performing

I need to get back to my computer ASAP.

I need you to hear me sing. I have to.

I never hurt anyone real bad, and it turns out I never

I prepaid for the little people.

I present you William McKinley High's class of 2012!

I promise.

I promise.

I promised them that I would reboot the program. I'll be humiliated.