Alice in Wonderland (2010) Edit

A case of nerves, no doubt.

A counterfeit nose. You should be ashamed.

A pinch of worm fat,

Absolem?

Absolem?

Ah, Thackery, not at the table, please.

Ah.

Alice Kingsleigh,

Alice Kingsleigh...

Alice, Alice, oh, Alice.

Alice, Alice, oh, Alice.

Alice, at last.

Alice, dear.

Alice, Hamish is waiting to dance with you. Go.

Alice, meet me under the gazebo in precisely 10 minutes.

Alice, you cannot live your life to please others.

Alice: Have you seen a hat around here?

Alice.

Alice. We were just...

All healed.

All of you stand up and fight!

All this talk of blood and slaying has put me off my tea.

All together now!

All you have to do is hold on to it.

And I was almost eaten by other animals.

And I'll melt, just like Mummy and Daddy did.

And I'm rather glad about that now that I'm seeing you again.

And I'm still dreaming.

And it's a good size. It's a great size. It's a right proper Alice size!

And it's all because I was obliged to kill Time waiting for your return.

And no stockings.

And nothing ever stopped him.

And the men wearing dresses.

And there's a blue caterpillar.

And there's that trouble with your digestion.

And we need to get on to the Frabjous Day.

And what is this?

And who are you, if I might ask?

And who is this lovely creature?

And you be good to her. I'll be watching very closely.

And you don't want to be a burden on Mother, do you?

And you're a lord.

And your life will be perfect.

Another day, another day.

Any luck with the prisoner?

Anyone can go by horse or rail,

Anyone with a head that large is welcome in my court.

Arrest that girl for unlawful seduction!

At last. We thought you'd never arrive.

At least let me bind it for you.

At least we have each other.

Aye.

Bar lom muck egg brimni!

BAYARD: Bielle.

Bayard! The hat!

Be back again before you know it.

Be careful not to lose your head.

Be careful, Alice.

Before breakfast.

Blame it on too much upelkuchen.

Blood of the Jabberwocky. You have our everlasting gratitude.

Blow.

Blue caterpillar.

Bongrace, fan tail, night cap, Garibaldi, fez...

But I can't.

But I do not owe you a kindness.

But I don't know if I want to marry Hamish.

But I don't think he was looking far enough.

But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

But I'm not the one who's sneaking around behind her back.

But I've seen that look before.

But if you get too frightened, you can always wake up. Like this.

But it smells as though you might have dropped something.

But Mirana can make anyone fall in love with her.

But now you've brought it up, you have to.

But the absolute best way to travel is by hat. Have I made a rhyme?

But this is happening so quickly. I...

But this...

But when a champion steps forth to slay the Jabberwocky,

But you're much more her now.

But you're not properly dressed.

Buttered fingers.

By these lickspittle toadies you surround yourselves with.

Can you imagine?

Can't hurt me. Can't hurt me.

Can't stop me now.

Cats can disappear.

Charles thought so, too.

Charles, you have finally lost your senses.

Chess, you dog.

Cloche, dunce hat, death cap, coif, snood, barboosh, pugree, yarmulke,

Cockle hat, porkpie, tam o'shanter, billycock, bicorne, tricorne, bandeau,

Come here, you!

Come on, Mally, quickly. Come on. Come on.

Come, come. We simply must commence with the slaying and such.

Contrariwise, I believe it's so.

Contrariwise, I'm Tweedledum, he's Tweedledee.

Dear, oh, dear. Why haven't you mentioned this?

Did someone pull you by the hand?

Did you have bad dreams again?

Did you hear that? I'm certain I heard something.

Did you see it that time?

Do I amuse you?

Do you have any idea what the Red Queen has done?

Do you know what I've always dreaded?

Do you still have the Bandersnatch eye?

Do you think I've gone round the bend?

Do you think that's normal?

DODO: You'd think she would remember all this from the first time.

DODO: You'd think she would remember all this from the first time.

Does everyone know?

Don't go. I need your help. I don't know what to do.

Don't hurt it.

Don't most people have different dreams?

Don't shout.

Don't worry, Mother,

Doubt they'll notice if we never arrive.

Down with the bloody Red Queen!

Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid!

Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid!

Drink this quickly.

Drink!

Especially now that you're you, and the proper size.

Even so,

Even the furniture.

Even the King?

Everyone expects me to,

Everyone went to so much effort to keep the secret.

Everyone will go home.

Ew.

Fairfarren, Alice. Perhaps I will see you in another life.

Fat boys!

Father would have laughed.

Find Alice, Stayne. Find her!

Find it, Alice. Take it to the White Queen.

Find the scent of human girl and earn your freedom.

Fine.

Five,

For my wife and pups, as well?

For some. Gentlemen, the only way to achieve the impossible

Forgive me. I allowed her to divert from her destined path.

Forgive my wife. She's been planning this affair for over 20 years.

Four, Alice,

Frabjous Day. How could I forget?

From the moment I fell down that rabbit hole,

From this day until the end of Underland.

From Umbradge.

From Umbradge.

Get away from me.

Get back on my feet, the ground.

Give me that here. Choppy, chop, chop, chop.

Go away.

Go on.

Go South to Trotter's Bottom.

Go to his house and collect the little ones.

Go!

Good morning, everyone.

Good thing the bloodhound is one of us, or you'd be...

Goodbye, sweet hat.

Goodbye.

Hamish is going to ask for your hand.

Hamish will ask you under the gazebo. When you say yes...

Hamish, do you ever tire of quadrille?

Hamish.

Hatter, why is a raven like a writing desk?

HATTER: Well, as you can see, we're still having tea.

Hatter!

Hatter!

Hatter?

Hatter?

Hatter? Hatter!

Hatter? Where are you?

Hatter.

Hatter.

Hattie's an old friend.

Have a look, Bayard.

Have I gone mad?

Have some tea.

Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?

Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?

He had a vision that stretched halfway around the world,

He told me that the Vorpal sword is hidden in the castle. Help me find it.

He's a prince.

He's Absolem.

He's stubborn.

Hello, Absolem.

Hello, Um.

Hello.

Her head is so small.

Her name is Um, idiot!

Here.

Here.

Hey, watch it!

Hey! Give it back!

Hightopp clan have always been employed at court.

Hmm.

Hmm. Another.

How can he work if his hands are bound?

How can I be the wrong Alice when this is my dream?

How could you let this happen?

How dare you?

How dare you? Off with his head!

How is it you're being so great big?

How many Miles to Wonderland?

However, just at the moment,

However, that is against my vows,

I am not convinced.

I am not convinced.

I believe it is.

I believe this belongs to you.

I can see you're very close.

I can slay the Jabberwocky.

I can't be bothered with your fancy rabbit now.

I can't help you if you don't even know who you are, stupid girl.

I can't watch.

I could stick you, if that would help.

I could strangle them!

I couldn't be more interested, but you'll have to excuse me.

I couldn't if I wanted to.

I couldn't slay the Jabberwocky if my life depended on it.

I didn't know cats could smile.

I do enjoy setting the dogs on them.

I don't know.

I don't know. I'm confused. I need time to think.

I don't like it in here. It's terribly crowded.

I don't take orders from big, clumsy, galumphing...

I don't wish to alarm you,

I fell down a hole and hit my head.

I had a sudden vision of all the ladies in trousers

I had hoped to have a champion by now.

I had to do it. He would have left me.

I happen to love rabbits, especially white ones.

I have a mother named Helen and a sister named Margaret.

I have you.

I have your eye.

I haven't the slightest idea.

I hope you don't think I've taken advantage of your misfortunes.

I know what you're doing.

I like it.

I like largeness.

I like you, Um.

I love a morning execution, don't you?

I love a warm pig belly for my aching feet.

I love my fat boys. Now, get out.

I love tadpoles on toast almost as much as I love caviar.

I love you, Margaret, but this is my life. I'll decide what to do with it.

I make the path.

I may have underestimated her, but we have her conspirators,

I must be, then.

I need a moment.

I need a pig here!

I outgrew them. I've been growing an awful lot lately.

I outgrew them. I've been growing an awful lot lately.

I really do love that hat.

I said you were not hardly Alice,

I should very much like to hat it.

I suppose this makes us even now.

I think I...

I think I...

I think of your husband often. He was truly a man of vision.

I think she may have some kind of growth in there,

I think you'll do best to keep your visions to yourself.

I thought we'd settled this. I'm Alice, but not that one.

I told her my heart belongs to you, but she's obsessed with me.

I told you she's the right Alice.

I tower over everyone in Umbradge. They laugh at me.

I used to hat the White Queen, you know.

I was a fool for not investing in his mad venture when I had the chance.

I was hatter to the White Queen at the time.

I was looking forward to seeing you Futterwacken.

I was rather good at it, was I not?

I was so certain of you.

I was wondering what it would be like to fly.

I will turn myself around Don't you try to stop me.

I will turn myself around Don't you try to stop me.

I won't be long.

I wonder if your mother knows

I would dream up someone who's half mad.

I would have regretted not seeing you again,

I would wear it to all the finest occasions.

I, I won't cry

I, I won't cry.

I, I'll get by.

I, I'll get by.

I, I'll survive.

I, I'll survive.

I'd know him anywhere.

I'd know that tangled mess of hair anywhere.

I'd rather you didn't. I'll be fine as soon as I wake up.

I'd say, "You've lost your senses."

I'll decide where it goes from here.

I'll find something useful to do with my life.

I'll leave you to it.

I'll miss you when I wake up.

I'll take a stand until the end.

I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers.

I'm afraid so. You're mad, bonkers, off your head.

I'm against them.

I'm certain she's smaller when we met.

I'm falling down a dark hole,

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I'm freaking out Where am I now?

I'm frightened, Alice.

I'm going to wake up now and you'll all disappear.

I'm his daughter. I'm Alice Kingsleigh.

I'm investigating things that begin with the letter "M."

I'm not a patient monarch!

I'm not going in there.

I'm not slaying anything. I don't slay, so put it out of your mind.

I'm not stupid.

I'm rescuing the Hatter.

I'm right behind you.

I'm so happy to see you. I thought they were going to...

I'm sorry, Hamish. I can't marry you. You're not the right man for me.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to be the wrong Alice.

I'm sorry. I'm tired. I didn't sleep well last night.

I'm told she keeps the Vorpal sword hidden in the castle.

I'm underground I fell down.

I'm waiting for my fiancé.

I'm willing to take that chance.

I've always admired that hat.

I've been accused of being Alice and of not being Alice, but this is my dream.

I've been considering things that begin with the letter "M."

I've been told what I must do and who I must be.

I've been up there for weeks, trailing one Alice after the next,

I've come to rescue the Hatter.

I've come to the end of this life.

If it ain't Alice, it ain't dead.

If it ain't Vorpal, it ain't dead.

If only Charles were here...

If we tell her, she won't be surprised.

If you diverge from the path...

If you serve Hamish the wrong foods, he could get a blockage.

If you're hiding her, you'll lose your heads.

Ilosovic Stayne, you knave, where have you been lurking?

In fact, you're almost Alice.

Iracebeth of Crims, your crimes against Underland are worthy of death.

Is it Alice?

Is the March Hare here?

Is this real?

Is to believe it is possible.

It is a formal execution. I would like to look my best, you know.

It is a pity about all this.

It is against my vows to harm any living creature.

It is far better to be feared than loved.

It is good to be working at my trade again.

It looks like you ran afoul of something with wicked claws.

It needs to be purified by someone with evaporating skills,

It tells of each and every day since the Beginning.

It was here.

It wasn't a dream at all, it was a memory.

It wasn't this bad before.

It... It's a "who," Majesty. This is, um...

It's a dance.

It's absolutely Alice.

It's all about you, you know.

It's already decided.

It's always the same, ever since I can remember.

It's just a pity you have to make them for her.

It's not a pretty story.

It's only a dream, Alice. Nothing can harm you there.

It's only a dream.

It's only a dream. Nothing can hurt me.

It's the wrong Alice!

It's tiny. It's a pimple of a head.

It's tragic, isn't it?

It's vast, the culture is rich, and we have a foothold in Hong Kong.

It's why they've all come. This is your engagement party.

Jabberwocky!

Kill her!

Leave us.

Let me out!

Liars! Cheats! Falsifiers!

Look here, on the Frabjous Day.

Look what that thing did to my arm.

Look, you won't mention this to your sister, will you?

Lost my muchness, have I?

Lowell?

Majesty, Alice has escaped

Majesty, I have found the Oraculum.

Majesty, I hope you bear me no ill will.

Majesty, is it not better to be feared than loved?

Majesty, please! Kill me! Please!

Majesty?

MALLY: Pass the scones, please.

MALLY: She's the wrong Alice.

MALLY: Would you like to join us?

MALLY: Yes. MARCH HARE: Yep, aye.

MALLY: You've brought the wrong Alice.

Mallymkun.

MAN: You look stunning in that hat.

MARCH HARE: Hide her!

McTWISP: Give her a chance.

McTWISP: How is that for gratitude?

McTWISP: No, she's the right one. I'm certain of it.

McTWISP: She's the right one. I'm certain of it.

Me?

Me? What about that big belly you're so proud of?

Men, women,

Mind your head.

Mind.

Mmm.

Mmm. Yeah, Frabjous being the day you slay the Jabberwocky.

Moron, mutiny, murder, malice.

Must we go?

My "muchness"?

My ancient enemy, the Vorpal one.

My condolences.

My dear girl,

My dear girl,

My face won't last, and I don't want to end up like...

My family! Oh, please, please don't!

My father said he sometimes believed in six impossible things

My father was Charles Kingsleigh.

My name is Alice. I live in London.

My sister preferred to study Dominion Over Living Things.

My sister's followers will surely rise against me.

Nay, this magnificently heroic globe.

Never mind him, he's mad. Come along.

No one is to show you any kindness, or ever speak a word to you.

No other swords can kill the Jabberwocky, nohow.

No time for tears today No time for tears today.

No time today, no time today.

No, it ain't so, nohow!

No, it's not. McTwisp brought us the wrong Alice.

No, no, no, no. But that is exactly where she will find the Vorpal sword.

No, no! It mustn't be used for anything...

No, she drank the pishsalver to get through the door, recall it?

No, South to Snud.

No, Your Majesty.

No! I have little ones to look after!

No! It is my crown! I am the eldest!

No.

No.

No. No, no. This way.

Not a tick ever since.

Not all of it!

Not certain anymore.

Not hardly.

Not yet, but it will happen if we don't stop her.

Not you, insignificant bearer.

Nothing was ever accomplished with tears.

Now all we need is a champion.

Now everything will have to be rushed through.

Now, can you manage a smile?

Now, pay attention. Hamish said you were easily distracted.

Of course I will. How could I forget?

Of course. Why didn't I see it?

Off with her head!

Off with his head!

Off with their heads!

Off with their heads!

Off with your head!

Oh, Alice.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

Oh, how will you find your way?

Oh, I'm Tweedledee, he's Tweedledum.

Oh, let her have the rabble. I don't need them.

Oh, no! Stop! No, no, no, don't. Don't do that!

Oh, no.

Oh, Racie. We don't have to fight.

Oh, tell us, are you big or small?

Oh, the Frabjous Day! Callou! Callay!

Oh, yes, I can.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. And one more thing.

Oh. There they are. Aren't they adorable?

Okay, okay. All right.

On that day, I shall Futterwacken vigorously.

On the Bandersnatch,

On the contrary. I find it invigorating.

On the Frabjous Day,

On this, the Frabjous Day, the Queens Red and White

One moment.

One, there's a potion that can make you shrink.

Only one.

Only this one, Ilosovic Stayne,

Or forget and forgive, whichever comes first

Or is, in any case, most convenient. I'm waiting.

Or it will fester and putrefy.

Or something for the boudoir?

Ow!

Page!

Pardon us, sir. Miss Kingsleigh is distracted today.

Perfectly horrid.

Perhaps a bit more kindly.

Perhaps you should be coming back.

Perhaps you'd consider becoming an apprentice with the company.

Pishsalver. Let me think.

Please, not today.

Please.

Prepare the Jabberwocky for battle. We're going to visit my little sister.

Quick! Hide her!

RED QUEEN: Hat man! Where are my hats?

RED QUEEN: I know.

Release the Jubjub Bird!

Remember what the dormouse said.

Remember, the Vorpal sword knows what it wants.

Resolve this for us, Absolem. Is she the right Alice?

Right here.

Rise up against the bloody Red Queen.

Run!

Shall send forth their champions to do battle on their behalf.

Shall we speak in the study?

Shall we take a leisurely stroll through the garden, just you and me?

She ain't great big, this is how she normal is.

She appears to be slaying it.

She killed my Jabber baby wocky?

She left me standing there without an answer.

She will take great pleasure in taking off your head.

Show her the Frabjous Day.

Since you won't be needing it anymore,

Sit!

Sit!

Six impossible things. Count them, Alice.

Six,

So did I. But they didn't, and now here I am, still in one piece.

So I suggest you keep the Vorpal sword on hand

So I've come to you, hoping you might understand what it's like.

So many doors, how did you choose?

So sorry.

So unfair.

So you'll marry Hamish.

So, my old foe, we meet on the battlefield once again.

Someone find her some clothes!

Someone has stolen three of my tarts!

Something pressing on her brain.

Sometimes I believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

Sometimes I forget that this is all a dream.

Sorry? Slay a what?

Speak!

Speaking of the Queen, here is a little song we used to sing in her honor.

Splendid shot!

Stand back, Mallymkun.

STAYNE: I cannot fathom it. You are far superior in all ways.

Stayne!

Take me to Salazen Grum, Bayard, and don't forget the hat.

Tell me anyway.

Tell me what Red Queen has done.

Tell me, how does she seem to you?

Thanks very much.

That is an excellent practice.

That is not foretold.

That kind of thinking could ruin you.

That should do it.

That would be I.

That you two swim naked in the Havershims' pond.

That? Looks so ordinary for an oracle.

That's because she's the wrong Alice.

That's better. You look yourself again.

That's odd. Pinching usually does the trick.

The Alice?

The Alice?

The armor is complete.

The choice must be yours,

The entire world is falling to ruin and poor Chessur's off his tea.

The Frabjous Day is almost upon us.

The Hatter and a dormouse.

The Hatter would not have given himself up just for any Alice.

The Hatter's interfering! Off with his head!

The nightmare again?

The Oraculum, being a calendrical compendium of Underland.

The people will rise against her.

The Queen will be so pleased.

The rabbit will help you.

The trees seem sad.

The Vorpal sword is home again.

The White Queen's castle is just beyond.

Then I see strange creatures.

Then I'll take you to the Hare and the Hatter, but that's the end of it.

Then I'll take you to the Hare and the Hatter, but that's the end of it.

There are questions I have to answer, things I have to do.

There you are.

There! Did you see it?

There. You're beautiful.

There's a place called Wonderland.

There's only one way across.

There's someone here who would like to speak with you.

There's your mother right now.

Therefore, it is high time to forgive and forget

They go about entirely unclothed, and they do their shukm in public.

They have my wife and pups.

They have the oddest way of speaking. Speak, boys. Amuse us.

They will notice.

They're wonderful.

Thinking about such an impossible thing?

This has all come from my own mind.

This is impossible.

This place is real, and so are you and so is the Hatter.

This venture is impossible.

This way, east to Queast.

Three coins from a dead man's pocket, two teaspoons of wishful thinking.

Three, animals can talk.

To be the first to trade with China, can you imagine it?

To me, a corset is like a codfish.

To the Red Queen's castle at Salazen Grum.

To try this one or try them all.

Tripping out, spinning around.

Try this on for size.

Two, and a cake that can make you grow.

Uh oh.

Um, my new favorite.

Um?

Unbind him, Stayne.

Upelkuchen? Actually, I might have some left.

Upside down and I can't stop it now.

Urine of the horsefly,

Use the curtains if you must, but clothe this enormous girl.

Very.

Wait, this is my dream.

Wait! You can't leave me here!

Wasn't very much to work with, poor dear.

Watch what you're doing!

We follow you no more, Bloody Big Head.

We have a secret to tell you.

We have company.

We shall see.

We should consult Absolem.

We'll go to the White Queen together.

We're going to rescue him.

We're looking for an "A" word now. Where is Alice?

We're looking for the girl called Alice.

We've never met.

Well, anyway, Time became quite offended and stopped altogether.

Well, as you're not going to be my daughter in law,

Well, do you have any more of that cake that made me grow before?

Well, I'd better have a look.

Well, if it isn't the wrong Alice.

Well, if it's not my favorite trio of lunatics.

Well, it has been a long time, and you were such a little tyke then.

Well, then, shall it be a bonnet or a boater?

Well, there's a dodo bird, a rabbit in a waistcoat, a smiling cat.

Well, think about Margaret. She'd never trust me again.

What a regrettably large head you have.

What an idea. A crazy, mad, wonderful idea.

What an odd thing to say.

What are you doing?

What brings you here? Mmm?

What could you do?

What did that to you?

What do they want with me?

What do you mean by that? I ought to know who I am.

What do you mean? Wait. Gae!

What happened to your clothes?

What happened to your clothes?

What have you heard? What have you seen?

What I could do with this monument, this orb...

What if I take off your head? Will you know then?

What if it was agreed that "proper" was wearing a codfish on your head?

What is it?

What is that?

What is the hatter with me?

What kind of creatures?

What was what?

What way? All I want to do is wake up from this dream.

What?

What's she doing with my darling Jabberwocky?

What's she doing?

What's wrong with you, Tarrant? You used to be the life of the party.

When I specifically asked for red.

When in doubt, remain silent.

When the Frabjous Day arrives.

When the White Queen once again wears the crown,

When the world's crashing down When I fall and hit the ground.

Where are my fat boys? You must meet them.

Where did they take him?

Where's my ball? Page!

Where's your champion, Sister?

Where's your corset?

Where's your hat?

Where's your head?

WHITE QUEEN: Welcome to Marmoreal.

Who are you?

Who will step forth to be champion for the White Queen?

Who, that wee little boy? (LAUGHS) I wouldn't know.

Who, then? You won't do better than a lord.

Who's to say what is proper?

Why are you upside down?

Why don't you slay the Jabberwocky yourself?

Why is it you're always too small or too tall?

Why not go all the way to China?

Why would you spend your time

Why wouldn't I?

Will you be my wife?

Will you stop doing that?

Wish I'd wake up.

With the Vorpal sword.

Without the Jabberwocky,

Wonderland.

Would you all excuse me for a moment? Thank you.

Would you consider bequeathing it to me?

Would you like some cream?

Would your name be Alice, by any chance?

Yeah, I fell down.

Yes, but I'm not the one that everyone's talking about.

Yes, yes, of course, but now you're back, you see,

Yes, yes, of course, but now you're back, you see,

Yes, yes. But you would have to be half mad to dream me up.

Yes, you ought, stupid girl. Unroll the Oraculum.

Yes, Your Majesty.

Yes, Your Majesty.

Yes. Next.

You and I have business to discuss.

You are to join Iracebeth in banishment

You called it "Wonderland," as I recall.

You can both escort her.

You can't imagine the things that go on in that place.

You choose the door You choose the path.

You could always paint the roses red.

You could stay.

You don't slay.

You don't slay.

You have a caterpillar on your shoulder.

You have very poor evaporating skills. I should be the one.

You know what tomorrow is, don't you?

You know, if anybody else had said that to me,

You must find Alice, Stayne.

You must have the power.

You must let me try one on.

You must prepare to meet the Jabberwocky.

You need to talk to someone about these delusions.

You ran out on them to save your own skin,

You really might want to focus on the Jabberwocky.

You seem so real.

You should know that my son has extremely delicate digestion.

You think you can blink those pretty little eyes

You two remind me of some funny boys I met in a dream.

You used to do the best Futterwacken in all of Witzend.

You were just as dim witted the first time you were here.

You were much more muchier. You've lost your muchness.

You were supposed to lead them away! The Hatter trusted you!

You will be as happy as I am with Lowell,

You will step out alone.

You won't remember me.

You'd best be on your way.

You'll soon be 20, Alice. That pretty face won't last forever.

You're a little taller than I thought you'd be.

You're absolutely Alice. I'd know you anywhere.

You're all late for tea!

You're bound to produce little... Imbeciles!

You're dreaming Are you dreaming?

You're lucky to have my sister for your wife, Lowell,

You're not Absolem, I'm Absolem. The question is, who are you?

You're not the same as you were before.