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Home > Louis Theroux Soundboard
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Louis Theroux Soundboard

Louis Theroux Soundboard

Phrases spoken by Louis Theroux. Louis Theroux is a British-American documentary filmmaker, journalist, broadcaster, podcaster and author. He has received two British Academy Television Awards and a Royal Television Society Television Award. After graduating from Magdalen College, Oxford, he moved to the US and worked as a journalist for Metro Silicon Valley and Spy.

NSFW Audio: Use caution, some sounds may be offensive
A 23 year old Asian woman, Paris waters had seen an ad in the newspaper. That was how Jim got many of his walk-ins. His ads generally said figure models wanted you went up thinking.
A bell rang to announce that the ship would soon be departing. Jimmy saw us out of the cabin and we passed a smiling crew member carrying a jacket with gold epaulets and a peaked naval cap.
A bizarre piece of happenstance. A lightning strike of misfortune that zapped Neil and Christine Hamilton led to events that we were lucky enough to be around to document.
A Blizzard of requests went out trumpeting my non tabloid approach and 6 million viewers responses varied. Silence was a common one also polite demurral.
A businessman put his briefcase into the closing metal doors of a train trying to force it open, but instead the doors gripped the bag and the train took off for a moment, the man jogged alongside.
A director named Ed Robbins came on a thoughtful and urbane collaborator of a slightly older generation. E's strength was a contemplative approach, a feel for mood and nuance.
A family impression had me quailing after my mother. Ah ba.
A fantasist she had been visiting sex chat sites and became convinced that two of the people she conversed with Lord and Lady Hamilton were Neil and Christine smelling a financial opportunity she'd.
A few days later, I returned to the studio apartment to find the message light on the machine flashing.
A few days went by. We filmed a sequence of Christine getting her hair done at a salon in Mayfair called Michael, John and another of me and Neil working out together on a trim trail in Battersea P...
A few hours after they'd gone in the Hamiltons emerged, Michael Coleman gave a statement.
A few months after those first four episodes went out in May 1998, I moved back to the UK.
A few months afterwards, I was approached at a party in a friendly way by someone who described himself as a fan. He'd loved the first four weird weekends.
A few tables along a husband and wife team from Washington State, Liara and Dan Clausing were selling ingenic medallions. Little stone rings on cords to enhance your.
A few weeks in they let me have a small column. The police report where I wrote quirky articles about the city, an interview with a Jamaican psychic who was predicting an earthquake in the Bay Area...
A few weeks later I flew to Atlanta to see Sarge, the trainer at the power plant for a follow up interview and what had been planned as a lighthearted workout session with some of the wrestlers in ...
A few weeks later, I called up as myself.
A gentleman does not fucking ask a lady why she has not had children. He told me with some heat, albeit erroneously, given that I hadn't in fact asked that question.
A heavyset lady in an orange kimono that was opened to reveal a generous helping of cleavage.
A Hispanic woman who gave her name as Catalina was in a beige business suit.
A house on Helsinge Road felt mysterious and grant organised over 4 stories with weird nooks and drafty sash windows and creaky stairs and folding shutters.
A little later he led us into his bedroom where we found more racist pictures. One showed a cartoon of a petrified looking black boy, grand dragon. Michael said he was planning to put it on a T-shirt.
A little later I said my goodbyes and drove back to my hotel with the crew.
A little later I went to the loo. Will came in to have a covert conference and then possibly feeling a little emotional himself. He did an impression of Neil Hamilton masturbating onto someone at a...
A little later, having done my interview with Pastor Butler, I left the headquarters of Aryan Nations and returned to England. Time passed and I moved on to other stories, but occasionally I found ...
A little later, the camera operator, an older guy from the Bay Area, sought me out.
A masques for deeper and more insidious forms of power.
A minor note in the history of this business, Margold said.
A month or two on, and Louis Theroux's weird weekends was postponed, possibly indefinitely, and I was making my new life as a comedy writer in LA.
A news in turn. My duties involve fact checking articles, undertaking bits of research for other writers, transcribing tapes and pottering around, looking confused.
A pair of middle-aged women who said they'd been his girlfriends in the late 60s had got in touch by letter shortly after when Louis met. Jimmy originally aired. The letter was from both of them. L...
A pimp named Mellow tea? Who was pursuing a career as a gangsta rapper?
A rare instance of someone being sexually inappropriate to Jimmy Saville.
A reunion tour.
A search on that name revealed a number of books for sale on the Internet of which he was a co-author.
A series that for some reason had the name of a non entity in its title.
A sign said God has a plan for homosexuals. AIDS is the beginning.
A six month trip around the states catching up with ten of my most intriguing ex interviewees. An update on both them and their weird worlds.
A small handful made it into the pantheon of commissioned episodes of weird weekends.
A UFO believer named Thor Templar who claimed to have killed 10 aliens.
A visit to a pub where a local scallywag flashed Jimmy on camera.
A woman about whom they knew little had alleged that Neil and Christine had ****d her at a swingers party in Ilford in Essex.
A woman who was plainly mentally ill wandered into the building and began asking me questions about the space brothers, which I didn't feel well qualified to answer.
A woman, probably in her 30s, was smiling at me with a daffy air of free spirited bonhomie that seemed to invite further inquiry.
A word that got used a lot about me was boisterous.
A wrestler named Randy Macho Man Savage walked past Incognito in dark glasses and a tight black T-shirt.
A young porn performer who worked under the name J Michaels.
About the postmodern moment. But unlike those books, it was also very funny.
Adam, cuddly and ingratiating was an obsessive diarist, a Bowie fan, and maker of Compies compilation tapes of music for friends.
After a cup of tea at the Ottley Cafe, we drove back to Jimmy's penthouse. Now off camera, Jimmy struck me as more direct, less playful. He talked about TV longevity in for some reason, Ruby.
After a few days of importuning on my part, I prevailed on her to think about her own creative projects, a book she was working on. Her lack of funds in a purely pragmatic way. It made sense.
After a few days, the story ebbed away. The accuser who went by Nadine Milroy Sloane, but whose real name was Emily Checkfield, turned out to be a troubled young woman from Grimsby.
After a lifetime of cloisters and Victorian suburbs, I saw exoticism and romance in San Jose's anomie, an unplanned sprawl. It seemed utterly different to anything I'd.
After dinner, we took a taxi back to Jimmy'z. I had turned in early for an uneasy sleep on a 2 narrow bed in a spare room full of Knick knacks, a cuddly lion, a portable Sony TV, a try.
After his father's death, he'd taken to wearing his wedding ring on the third finger of his right hand. His mother had died a few years after, and Jimmy had once memorably described the five days h...
After I got back I fell ill possibly related to the stress of the preceding week. I called in to say I was unwell.
After protracted negotiation, the WCW PR Guy and Elton John lookalike, called Alan Sharpe, had permitted us to stand at the entrance to the dressing room interviewing the dribble of wrestlers as th...
After San Jose, New York had taken some adjustment. The slow paced, super sized farm town was no preparation for the noise and scale of Gotham. The asperity of the people.
After some pro forma compliments about the excitement of what had just seen, I said.
After that first visit, we stayed in touch by phone for a few years. Then one day his contact details no longer worked.
After that it had all gone a little quiet, though Chris had mentioned the Millennium segment, it had been offered to Merrill Marco, the author and comedian who had been a writer on late night with ...
After that it was second album syndrome.
After that, seeming to feel he'd made his point, Sarge disappeared.
After that, the plan had been to visit JJ on the set of a film called forced Entry, a **** themed film which was being shot by Rob Black, a young director who was carving out a niche.
After the Big Bucks show business of the WCW, the AI WF was a different proposition.
After the days of Jimmy's evasions, the idea of the Duchess's wardrobe felt solid. Something properly odd that Jimmy would have trouble dancing around.
After the ease of getting to Jimmy Saville and Paul and Debbie, the feeling was it should be straightforward to get some more episodes under way.
After the encounter back at the hotel, the sound recordist came up to me. He looked a little pale.
After the four episodes of weird weekends as a piester resistance, we watched when Louis met Jimmy.
After the press conference, surrounded by a scrum of journalists, we climbed back into Michael Coleman's car. Christine put the car window down and I leaned back so the photographers could get a co...
After the profile of Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee, he called to complain you are a Formula One car you never got out of bleeding first gear.
After the race war, when we were all on other planets, maybe we can keep in touch by phone.
After the shell suit went, he adopted a Velvet Underground look, black jeans, dark glasses, tight T-shirts over his skinny torso, usually A roll up in hand.
After the success of the Jimmy Saville programme, and then another profiling the magician Paul Daniels and his wife Debbie McGee Word had come down from executives at the BBC that I should focus on...
After Tower House, Westminster was a definite improvement. We joined the second-half of the 20th century and the only odd thing looking back is that our parents should have sent us off to board ins...
After two days fired finally appeared, taking us on a tour of a central staircase that he had expensively remodelled on an Egyptian theme.
Afterwards, I remember feeding the chute had been successful. Certainly we'd had our share of explosive arguments.
Afterwards, I was a little deflated.
Afterwards, off camera Chris said to me, though, you got what you wanted.
Again, I noticed this then rationalized it as a bit of Jimmy Saville provocation, disguising a deeper truth to do with his view of women as irrational.
Age 15 I knew 20 different sexual positions by name and the effect of most illegal drugs, but I had never touched a girl's breast or smoked a joint.
Ah, insincerity your speciality.
Ah, yes, said a voice. You glue it on your gas tank. It works using energy rays. It changes the structure of the gas, improves your gas mileage. 20 to 40% costs one.
Alas, having had the one idea involving dead heads for Doll, I struggled to come up with anything else.
Alas, it turns out insulting high profile industry leaders and celebrities on a monthly basis in a glossy magazine is not a long term business strategy. By the time I arrived, the.
All of the segments were supposed to serve the show's political agenda of advancing socialism.
All of these details I hope to reflect somehow in our program and they crowded in my mind looking for a chance to join the conversation, but I was underslept after the night in the guest bed and a ...
All of this might have made her unlikable, but some found her uncompromising and anti diluvian moral outlook appealing, possibly because of the unlikeliness of her physical appearance, tiny.
All of which also shouldn't cloud the inconvenient fact that Jimmy Savile's company when he dialed down the Savile isms and was on his home turf of his penthouse could be quite pleasant.
All out war.
All the attention and the sense of approval had a paradoxical effect, making me wonder about before. Did people not like the shows then?
All the excitement it created at the BBC. Among my executives, higher ups.
All the technology they possess, the space brothers is entirely in advance of anything we know, Charles said.
All these peculiarities, its soullessness the indistinguishable strip malls the gun stores and fast food places, franchise outlets, and the weird, scattered non belonging of people.
All three of these articles were imbued with a combination of emotions, finding human qualities of pathos and warmth, and on occasion an almost mythic level of commitment to causes that were.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does and that is his.
All you have to do is say shit or something like that. It's just more fun like this. I said it's tantalizing.
Almost heaven lay on a small plateau 200 acres divided into 30 or so lots. A motley scattering of unprepossessing homes.
Along with the vaguely hippieish ethos, went a certain relaxing of the rules on monogamy.
Alongside our production he was also working on a BBC funded film with Michael Moore, which would later come out as the big one.
Also surprising was his manner of speech, which was mumbled and unself conscious, still recognizably him but a more understated version.
Also with Zaca took a role in a production of ritual for dolls and allegorical play about repressed Victorian society written in 1970 featuring children's toys.
Always there was a hunger for ideas to the point where what else you got Michael's question to a writer or producer who was pitching him became an office catch phrase.
Among my friends and colleagues, the prevailing attitude seemed to be that I should feel lucky to land such a scoop. A few going so far as to suggest I'd been part of making up the allegations to h...
Among the other people he bruited as candidates for profiles were then manager of Leeds United Football Club, David O'Leary, the singer Lulu, the Romany impressionist, Joe Longthorne and the Kray b...
Among those I aroused was the future Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Nick Clegg.
An antagonistic approach which could end up being ugly and unkind.
An app called Leanne went up to Leeds to visit Jimmy at his penthouse for a wrecky to test his appetite for filming. It was surprising in a way that he agreed to do a wrecky, which is basically a k...
An economist and disciple of Milton Friedman, Lord Harris had a comical Tweedy air about him. He seemed a man born out of time. He should have been stepping out of a flying machine smoking a pipe.
An elusive self-help guru named Marshall Silver and as a wild card, the turbulent band leader Ike Turner.
An embassy aide reaching over, for some pepperoni said, I think I would like a slice of Monten**** because my mother is from there.
An hour before Showtime, he would take five or six aspirin to thin his blood tape. Little raises to his thumbnail, and then once in the ring lacerate his forehead out of sight of the crowd to make.
An intern again. My duties involve photocopying and stapling gossip packs culled from the five or six New York newspapers, and also doing research for the editors occasionally.
An old timer called Rowdy Roddy Piper, also in dark glasses and a leather jacket asked me my name, then mishearing it, said Louis Leroux.
And a drunken night with Mike Ayala, the underground hippie those days stay with me as a redemption from all the doubt that preceded them.
And also had to send David Mortimer an e-mail telling him to postpone production on Louis Theroux's weird weekends. I was aware it was tricky emotional ground that it could be construed.
And also performed a short monologue for an MTV pilot which wasn't used either. This was completely fine as I wasn't sure why they'd asked me to do the monologue, but they also hadn't invited me to...
And another about a makeover show for homeless people. That one was produced but bombed so badly in front of audiences in rehearsal that it was also tossed out.
And another when I pointed out an attractive woman who may have been in her 30s or 40s and his response was grandma.
And even those positive attributes are brought to the production were accidental much of the time a certain quality of ingenuousness, or maybe gormless that one people over a willingness to get inv...
And handing it in to a man in a room with tin foil on the windows.
And he began prepping me for what to say to Michael.
And his connection to Chequers, which he said was only four miles from Stoke Mandeville.
And his friends in high places. Margaret Thatcher the royal family.
And I did a couple of print interviews.
And I got Sarah to read the message to make sure I'd struck the right tone.
And I thought here I am aged 47. Still making a fool of myself for the purposes of a TV show, creating connections in unlikely places in a spirit in which the boundaries between.
And if you don't have a benevolent dictator, you have a tyrant.
And in a positive way, emerging from the fog of my own indoctrination, I felt what was probably a salutary urge to make something of myself to separate myself from my family to prove.
And in fact, my obsession with authenticity, while it occasionally went overboard, was probably my greatest asset when I looked back at what worked in that first episode about militias and survival...
And of course we will speak together eye to eye, face to face or whatever, probably before the next Millennium, but who knows?
And one part of me saw it this way, but another greater part was dubious. Suspecting that the transformation was not wholly earned and therefore not really mine.
And references to himself as a mob boss, the Godfather and El Capo de tutti Capi, which he pronounced in Yorkshire Neapolitan.
And so I found myself enduring the indignity of straining to understand a long stumbling rendition of an unfavourable review down a transatlantic phone line.
And so without quite realizing it, I entered into a strange, mutually parasitic quasi friendship, quasi deep cover investigation into his dark side.
And so, alongside the opportunistic outings up to Leeds for interviews to promote programs and DVDs was another motivation to keep U with Jimmy. The idea of generating copy from my diary.
And so, in this spirit, not quite knowing how committed we were to one another, but carrying on regardless, we found a new apartment in a semi desolate but supposedly up and coming area of Brooklyn.
And someone remarked on the ridiculousness of the lyric about eating purple berries.
And spy itself.
And the crew would follow behind.
And then at the hotel, we'll approach me with the air of someone with a secret.
And then it was all over.
And then it was my turn group two was called and what after all was I doing here? If I wasn't going to get involved?
And then on occasion the unexpected happens and your contributors are accused of a bizarre sexual assault at a swingers party in Ilford.
And then the name of Jimmy Saville came up.
And there had been one or two suggestions of non mainstream romantic practices including an Oxford student who'd gone public to say that during a speaking engagement at the university, Christine ha...
And they said all right, Jim, you didn't give him half enough and they never nicked me for it. And I never altered.
And to be fair, seriously, why was I being offered a network TV job? Weird looking gawky, socially awkward, unqualified, anxious 23 years old.
And truth be told, it was also just something I enjoyed the release from my normal existence and sometimes an occasion to imagine myself in a wholly other life.
And two stories about the militiamen and survivalists in Idaho and Montana, one by Philip Weiss, another by William T Vollmann that depicted them as rather romantic figures. Confused idea.
And was by turns comical and self deprecating. Friendly and unhinged.
And was hosted by the comedian Dennis Miller, though he was never around until we taped several of the other writers had come over from a live chat show Miller hosted which was dark over the summer.
And we'll filmed, while a contagion of irrationality, rampaged outside.
And what was wrong with the lyric about eating purple berries?
And what will it be?
And Whitcomb was a difficult subject for me, for very different reasons. The documentaries that had tended to work best so far were those that placed me as a straight man in a strange world in subc...
And will it be on Earth?
And without me wanting it to the embarrassing parts of my brain began entertaining all sorts of visions of grandiose success with Baftas, dancing around in a conga line.
And yet I was also very worried, prone finding causes for anxiety in the most unlikely scenarios that I would never be able to read and write that I'd be unable to pay my taxes when I was grown up ...
And yet, as much as I liked to flatter myself, that I had a technique and knew what I was doing, I was aware that much of it was adventitious and undeserved hinging on lucky breaks and collaborators.
And you also worked in Metro. I was surprised he'd heard of Santa Clara Valley's free alternative weekly.
And you got the nerve to ask me that bullshit down at Nitro what the hell you think we're on athletes hell, we're the best athletes in the damn world.
And you've seen Roger and me, right? He will definitely ask you about it. It's your favorite film.
Anne had brought her mother, Rita, who was as cheeky and playful as Anne was stolid and withholding, and also a female friend of Singaporean heritage, whose name I don't recall. No sapphic.
Anne's eccentricity was more low key, genteel, rather than outlandish. She was not a performer or a light entertainment turn. She was a politician. The world of Westminster and MP's.
Another brief lives took its cue from John Aubrey, the 17th century diarist. It would be 10 minute profiles of random weird people I found intriguing.
Another favorite phrase was you've let yourself down. He said this to me many times in particular, if he took against a line of probing, as in, you've let yourself down with that question also.
Another frequent interaction involved being complimented on shows I hadn't made. I don't just mean the title was wrong. Wacky weekends is a common misnomer, and I don't bother to correct it.
Another friend, Zach Sandler, introduced me to the world of comics. The fabulous furry freak brothers by Gilbert Sheldon, viz. And in history class, we'd compose strips doing all.
Another had written in offering to make a cup of tea for Jimmy as his fix it.
Another impression my dad used to do involve me saying, but why does the man have his mouth open? He was based on a dimly remembered incident on a bus or a train or somewhere in London.
Another involved Michael flying to Britain and buying a lordship.
Another on short billionaires calculating their adjusted height. If each 100 million was worth an extra inch.
Another strange bit of terminology was calling normal non uniform clothing shag good Lord Thiroux. Why are you in shag?
Another time he called up to chat and share a couple of jokes here. Why does Michael Barrymore not need ashtrays?
Another way of putting it would be professional celebrity, but Chris had an elevated approach to his new public position. He saw himself as a teacher and truth teller. I once read a descript.
Another, more promising Ave was the idea of a documentary portrait of an intriguing cultural figure. It had a file on Lemmy, the lead singer of Motörhead. I liked the pathos of an unregenerate Ru.
Any money Neal earned was siphoned off to pay his legal debts. Christine wasn't technically bankrupt, so she could keep her fees for media appearances.
Any other job I might have been fired at that point I realized there was an advantage to having my name in the title after all, and yet along with the feelings of doom and the embarrassment was.
Anybody who's white is welcome, Jerry said.
Anything whatever. I'm asked photocopying, phone bashing.
Are we being filmed or taped? Was the first question from Beth? And then why did it take you so long to get in touch?
Are you excited? I asked.
Are you sexually quite normal?
Are you the bloke that does that thing? Are you who I think you are? One? I didn't know how to respond to was I love the way you take the piss out of those cunts said to me by three young men from ...
Around that time, figures like Gary Glitter and Pete Townsend were being accused of downloading images of child abuse on their computers.
Around this time, Sarah and I separated. She initiated the breakup, possibly thinking a little bit of a reality check would focus my mind and shock me into a more serious commitment to my future wi...
Around.
Arriving at Oxford, I'd planned to take it easy kick back a little, start to enjoy life, go out bird dogging chicks and banging Beaver. Or if that couldn't be arranged, maybe take a long walk.