Archer (2009) - Season 4 Edit

A $90 manicure, I know.

A bag. I piss and shit in a plastic bag.

A few minutes more, darling, and you can have your way with me.

A flagrant violation of my sworn duty, for which my recompense will be?

A pig wouldn't be caught dead in there.

A ridiculous low rider truck with fender flares and louvers and shit?

A roadblock?

A situation, by the way, for which I heard you!

A situation, by the way, for which I blame you entirely.

A small business owner, out here busting his hump to provide for his family.

A snake. Oh, that's crap.

A station wagon. In all of Texas?

A sticky fingered people, the Greeks

A stupid dog?

A task so simple that if the Health Department

A toast. To His Excellency...

A What? But I guess some cyborgs are smart.

A, I was a race car driver, and B

A, it was kofta, and Beelzebub's asshole. Kazak.

A, pretty sure I offered to share the bed. B, I wasn't that drunk.

A, you wildly underestimated my liver's ability to metabolize toxins.

A.k.a., Kurt Wagner, Lana. Archer.

Aah!

Aah! How about a little warning?

Aah! Lana!

Aah! Ooh!

Aah! What about intentionally shot at?

Aah! What? Jesus Christ.

Aah! Yeah, we don't have time. Not for this, dickbrain.

About how you've matured and you wanna get back together.

About the earth'?

Absolutely not.

Absolutely yes. Come on I need the tongues first...

Absolutely. Just fill out these requisition forms, in triplicate.

Actually no, I'm not sorry.

Actually, more like three hours.

Actually, no, it doesn't. Actually, yes, it does.

Actually, that was pretty good, for you, at least.

Adiés? Not hasta pronto or ?

After all your naggy lectures about how I need to stop micromanaging ISIS?

After I come back there and pull your tongue out through your

Again, I honestly thought they just had...

Again, unlike your aim.

Ah, can I at least put something in the newsletter?

Ah, get away from me. What are you doing? What are you doing?

Ah, Gurpgork.

Ah, heh, different ways. Okay.

Ah, that's a load of crap. It's a movie.

Ah, wow, what'd you call it? Power blackout. And you're welcome.

Ah! Come on, grab it!

Ah! Or that. Shit.

Ah! Shit, I hope he didn't hear that.

Ah! Shit. Ah! Goddamn it. Ah!

Ah! Shit. Uhh.

Ah. I'll be honest, it's not great. I'm talking about his.

Ah. So the good news is, my men have apprehended Cardinal Corelli...

Ahem. Oh, uh...

Ahem. Strongly agree.

All good.

All of Okay, Barry,

All right, GPS says I'll be there in four hours

All right, point Wait, wait, wait.

All right? I'd rather die than sit through

All the better. Saves us the embarrassment of my snubbing you.

Almost as much as I hate hoodies. What the hell's going on here?

Almost kind of wishing she'd shot you.

Alright)' Think I made my decision.

Alrighty and we are just all set. Enjoy your stay.

Also when I told you I actually did steal the uranium and murder my fellow agents.

Also, that I'd get ****d and murdered.

Although he can teleport, so the prehensile tail is

Although if that wasn't a prank, and the Border Patrol did shoot him

Although it is clogged.

Although not as depressing as Ron. What the hell are you doing here?

Although so was the response.

Although somehow incredibly single. Wha ? I go on tons of dates!

Although the appropriate thing would be to buy me a thank you drink.

Although we do have a working theory on how.

Although, granted, I've never seen one. But that's not, like, a rule. Is it?

Although, I think one guy's back story was that he'd been, like, a bootlegger?

Although, she never forgot the dog's birthday.

Although, technically, I think they're called voulges

Although, two does seem like plenty.

Always never forget that

An ambulance'? He needs emergency surgery.

An idiot. Exactly.

And again, excuse me? There is no excuse for you.

And all that crazy is sitting on top of an ocean of oil and natural gas...

And also because they're not even in there anymore'?

And also for internal bleeding.

And also if I can prove it somehow.

And also little Vernie Kennedy, JFK's crazy niece or cousin or something.

And also on the phone. Oh, Cyril.

And also than Cyril could ever be.

And also why Ron Cadillac is gonna swing by Montreal on his way home.

And Archer obviously Would rather see Ray dead.

And as for who, I hate to be the one to tell you this...

And B, normally in this situation I do a pit maneuver.

And B, why would you possibly have these?

And barring some sort of massive infection

And before I sold cars, I stole them.

And before you say it

And besides bar tending in Polynesia, I've never had a real job $0...

And besides, what kind of car will the Border Patrol be looking for?

And blow me if we can catch her.

And by deal with, obviously, he means... Shoot.

And C, Lana, we had to take this room. Beat history was made here.

And call me if you ever wanna test drive the new Coupe de Ville.

And could you...? Sorry.

And even if you're not necessarily doing it for the right reasons...

And even then it'll be a miracle if we can save those testicles.

And for a third thing, I actually might be good at this.

And good morning to you, Archer.

And good morning, medical bills.

And he really shouldn't be drinking.

And here you are, Mr. Ambassador. I prefer to be called Your Excellency.

And his money, I get it, that's all craps and whores.

And how did they, uh, all die?

And how did you get this number?

And how the hell is this our fault?

And I also think you might have low blood sugar.

And I basically own him.

And I couldn't care less, but Chi?

And I don't know how to tell you this, but we did not meet by accident.

And I don't think she was the only one he drove off with.

And I have to direct deposit the annual bonuses.

And I need you to focus...

And I said don't push me!

And I think I need a spanking because I have been a very naughty

And I won't be able to if I'm thinking about giant alligators...

And I'll wait here for the ambulance to take your grievously wounded child...

And I'll, you know, sign a release form or whatever.

And I'm sorry for that one. Don't be.

And I'm sorry if you misunderstood. I did not call you for the romance.

And I'm telling you these reviews are mandatory and since I outrank you

And if he plays his cards right, he'll be wetting a lot more than his

And if you blow that thing again, the next time you hear it...

And if you do want, I can be bottom.

And if you want to keep those teeth, missy, you won't suck them at me

And is this just jackoff central?

And it goes on like that for another 38 soul cleaving minutes.

And it is final.

And it's gonna sound like I'm hanging up, but

And just so we're clear, you're mad at all that stuff...

And just so you know, I do know what true love is, so...

And just what in the hell is this?

And maybe if you shut up I can concentrate on the ro

And miss these two doing it? Oh, my God, right?

And my best Only

And my point is that pursuing a dangerous rogue agent...

And my point was Fine.

And my point was, we could easily have done this by now.

And my situation is, anyone who could hurt me thinks I'm already dead

And negativity is infectious, by the way.

And not a word of this to anyone, especially

And not that I care at all, but have you tried calling him?

And now I can't sleep because I'm pretty sure I have a concussion.

And now you get your bonus and mine?

And once again, you parked that ridiculous car in my space.

And one petty barn full of dead horses.

And only one week after Well, you know, when I left you for him...

And probably a few other things.

And remember when I said you could've been a great chef?

And right when she was gonna invest $10 million in ISIS.

And since then, it's nothing.

And since there's only one name on this list, you must be Ms. Archer..

And so a small power unit goes here on your spiny thing...

And so had Troy. Doesn't prove anything.

And so, congratulations to all our new agents...

And so, Mr. Archer, I'm afraid for us, this is adiés.

And ten million dollars in bearer bonds

And that is for ruining my fake honeymoon.

And that, to me, is muy admirable.

And that's not my name!

And that's why you died in the desert.

And the clock is ticking, my friend.

And the old accounting department. What's that?

And then Well, you know the rest.

And then shut up, because I'm going...

And then sue me for this. Smoke bomb.

And then Teddy walks into the library wearing nothing but a whiskey sour.

And then very, very suddenly.

And then you collect the fruits of their labor.

And these people aren't

And they all got 20 years, because not one of them..

And third, Lana's pretty satisfied in the old romance department.

And this is for the Pueblo. Unh! Aah!

And this is just speculation, some new drug resistant form of VD.

And to a long, peaceful and prosperous friendship...

And to you, doctor. You truly have the gift of healing.

And way, way more importantly...

And what part of your job, exactly, is groping my ass?

And what's so important about a stupid goldfish?

And when Barry gets back, his heart will hurt because I will rip it out.

And when did you work with Mexicans? Where do you think milk comes from?

And when he gets home, he can tell you about the other woman.

And when the smoke had cleared..

And while we're on the subject, where the hell is our GPS?

And who are you calling? Who do you think?

And who followed you here...

And why are you beating on shit?

And why don't we leave the terrace door open, Woodhouse?

And why the hell are you here? Um...

And why the hell are you taking her side?

And with Woodhouse, shall we say, indisposed...

And yet I will die alone.

And yet you found room for a 20 page wad of Pam's stupid peer review!

And you are the only man who ever made me

And you are the only woman...

And you can have a hundred.

And you may need an umbrella because it's gonna be raining dead ass popes.

And you should eat. This could be a long night and you're so teeny.

And you, also shut up. Yes, sir.

And you, Mr. I Can Solve Your Ant Problem

And you, time to lean, time to get your distracting tits off my line.

And you're not gonna die out here because any minute now

And you're sure you can get us there by 7?

And your little, whatever, gay innuendos don't even merit a

And your mother isn't home, is she? No, she had to

And, B Wait, what was B?

And, Cyril, if you call ISIS, I will literally, literally murder you.

And, oh, my name is Cyril Figgis

And, Pam, if you keep your eyes open and your big mouth shut...

And, Pam, if you keep your eyes open and your big mouth shut...

And, Senorita Moreno, you are free to go.

And, sir, please, I'm sure this was just an allergic reaction.

And, yep, officially confused.

Another one of Lana's big "I told you so's."

Answer the goddamn phone, woman!

Answering the damn phone.

Any idiot can get shot, Cyril.

Anybody'? Gun?

Anyhoo, one day it dawns on me, we're doing at! this work...

Anyhoo...

Anyway, I used our stash to buy a legit used car lot...

Anyway, those ISIS idiots are doing security...

Arch Randy.

Arched Not talking to you.

Archer Hang on, should we get that?

Archer It's a loanword. Or is it a calque?

Archer Daniels Midland.

Archer is what is wrong with me.

Archer, I am seriously not in the mood for your bullshit right n

Archer, I didn't Do anything to deserve it. Exactly.

Archer, I don't know how long the Koreans will be out of their room.

Archer, shut up and find us some

Archer, stop the goddamn car.

Archer, thank God, is he hit? Tell me he's not hit.

Archer, wait, it's me. I know.

Archer, were you followed here? Wow, really? Okay, a little insulting

Archer, you ready?

Archer, you sure you're up for this? Because this thing, it runs deep.

Archer!

Archer? And the boat's not a boat, Lana...

Archer? Morocco. Yeah, hang on.

Archer? Nightcrawler.

Archer? Oh, dude, is it bad?

Archer? Shut up. Luke?

Archer.

Archer. He left two non consecutive messages.

Archer. Holiness, a little help?

Archer. We'll hide you, put him in your place...

Archer. You think he's a dick here? On a mission, he's 10 times worse.

Archer... No, I mean, obviously it hurts...

Archer'? Buck Henry?

Archer'? Ha. Please.

ARCHER". Because I said so.

ARCHER". Come on, what the heH is this?

ARCHER". Mother? it's Sterling. Listen. Oh, no.

ARCHER". Oh, I was gonna ask which one, but All of them. All of them.

ARCHER". What's the point?

Arctic wolves? And even if you had a passport...

Are Mother and Lana still in the vault?

Are they doing it? Are they banging?

Are you ? That's all we were after? Well, you could have told us, Mother.

Are you ? We didn't have sex.

Are you bouncing on purpose?

Are you coming?

Are you gonna stand there, in what I assume are two inch lifts...

Are you kidding? Dude, bros before apparent threats to national security.

Are you kidding? I didn't even let him go to his brother's funeral.

Are you not? I don't know!

Are you out of your mind?

Are you reading it wrong? Within two hundred meters.

Are you shitting me'?

Are you, indeed

Aren't you? Are I?

Armory supervisor. Hooray, what's with the cage?

Arrested? I Look, whatever.

As a base of operations while We track down the mole...

As a tangerine. In jean shorts

As am I, Not that you give a Shh! Lana, don't ruin the moment.

As is whatever you're doing with the morphine wise.

As long as it's not Le Cirque, Lutéce, Elaine's, 21

As stoked about Kazak coming over to ISIS...

Ask Brett!

Ask her if we can keep him.

Assassinating the pope tomorrow night?

Assassins plan to kill the Holy Father in his own bed on this very night.

At a stop on the train ride from New York...

At least you get to bang her.

At what? I was gonna say two weeks. Two years is

Aw, crap, he's already dead.

Aw, man, am I missing all the hot Asian group action?

Aw, man, I totally missed it. Oh, my God, the toilet?

Aw, man, I'm fricking starving.

Aw, man, we have to learn Latin?

Aw, really?

Aw. Just when I thought I couldn't hate them more.

Aw. Pigley Two

Awesome. Senorita Moreno go with a stern warning...

Aww!

Babe, come on, I promise, H! be there.

Back in a tick.

Back in a tick.

Baksheesh, exactly, but our friend

Baksheesh.

Baksheesh.

Baksheesh.

Bap bap bap. Stop.

Barry the unstoppable psycho cyborg.

Barry, right. Um... Please, Sterling...

Barry? Barry, it's me, Archer.

Barry. Oh.

BARRY". Archer. I am screwing...

BARRY". Because couldn't stand it anymore.

BARRY". Different ways. Like“ In asshole.

Basta! Here is the access card to the Holy Father's private apartment.

Be that as it Hm.

Because according to this, we're here.

Because come to think of it, I actually don't know how TV works either.

Because don't Please, don't take this the wrong way, babe...

Because he has no buttons. He's buttonless.

Because hopefully you are with the

Because I borrowed your credit card?

Because I can, it's a party of six or more...

Because I couldn't hear you over the sound of now I'm punching you!

Because I had nowhere to put it!

Because I hired good managers

Because I left my jetpack in my other pants.

Because I only have two eyes and they were busy looking for hunters!

Because I spent 30 years building the business so I don't have to be.

Because I think Krieger's doing some kind of bionic shit to Ray's legs.

Because I will kill him with my bare hands.

Because I'd never go...America, okay? Because...

Because I'm just gonna say it...

Because I'm not the idiot that took his idiot clothes off.

Because I'm out of people to call

Because if anything goes wrong tonight...

Because illegal immigration Exactly.

Because Janis Joplin's not giving me a rim job.

Because Krieger's creepy and weird, but he's not homophobic...

Because Newton's third law of motion.

Because Ron Cadillac is freaking epic!

Because she didn't specify an agent in command, Lana.

Because she loved it more than you? Ha, ha. Very funny.

Because she's got those big ass tree hands?

Because shit is stuck.

Because shut up. Because I don't need it.

Because T 72 tanks aren't exactly known for their low emissions.

Because Tangier's totally awesome. Wildly inaccurate.

Because that is, like, the last thing we need. An Entmoot.

Because that room is blast proof! Mawp.

Because the rhinoceros speaks English!

Because they are a threat. No, they're not.

Because they should have checked in by now.

Because turning the Munsters' house into a B&B...

Because why the hell would there be penicillin in chocolate mousse?

Because without peppercorns, it's not steak au poivre.

Because you have an entire satellite array at your disposal, you idiot!

Because you let him. Because you let him push your buttons.

Because you ruined the mission. Yeah, you jerk.

Because you wouldn't believe what goes on around

Because, duh, I'm helping Krieger turn Ray into a stupid cyborg.

Because, Krieger, I can't have the Responsible people?

Because, of course, you keep getting robbed.

Because, Randy, except, of course, for your mother, there is no threat.

Because. Look in here and tell me the Arabic phrase for:

Beckon and rebuff whom? Kazak.

Before the restaurant is full of diplomats...

Besides cheap hash and a repulsively low age of consent.

Besides I said so? They're booked.

Besides I wouldn't be interest I have a girlfriend, so...

Besides not knowing if I should add an 18 percent gratuity?

Besides your job? My job is

Besides, What fricking movie is this?

Bet 300 bucks seems pretty cheap for a map right about n

Bet that's the first time you ever said that.

Better make that two.

Bi or semiannual means every six months.

Big hands. Big dick.

Big whoop, I'm spooning a Barrett .50 cal. I could kill a building.

Bionic legs, and you lifted with your back?

Bit of a moot point, though, really, given your SAT scores.

Bloody hell. What are we doing here?

Bon appétit.

Bonanza or Battlestar?

Boom! Bumper. I am just killing it today.

Boom. Bumper.

Boom. Bumper.

Border Patrol on the way to a real hospital.

Both.

Both. The latter of whom were college juniors.

Box seats for the opening of Carmen at the Met

Boy, I wish you'd tell that to the licensing board.

Brett, this might be some kind of record, so if you can move, don't!

Brett? Archer, what the shit are you doing?

Brett? What in the hell?

Broke. Jesus, the room's that much? ls there a problem?

Buddy, you just sold a time share.

Buddy? Why, how and since when?

But Ha! Way to waste your time learning Italian, Pam.

But Oh, hang on a sec.

But Ow! Come on, Katy Hepburn!

But That was the fat guy you killed.

But Wait, is my dick gonna be okay?

But accurate. Ha, ha.

But boat or not boat, we won't be getting on it.

But C.H.U.D.'s live in New York, so let's go.

But come on, they gotta be roasting.

But come on, you gotta admit, the relationship you two have is

But comparing ISIS to six Cadillac dealerships...

But Corelli would be sure to win. Pretty good motive.

But even if you were prepared Which I truly feel that I am.

But get me out of here alive and I will pardon you for it, my son.

But he just kept slapping me until I did it.

But he just won't stop tooting that darn tooter.

But he won't be for long if you don't clamp that artery.

But his passport? How the hell did he lose his passport?

But how? We all ate a little.

But I also think that you make a big risk...

But I can transfer you.

But I have a list of all his known aliases, so see if any of them used a passport.

But I only did it because I wanted us to be together forever.

But I really, really, really don't think I'll enjoy it.

But I still don't know who keeps hiring goons to stick me up

But I think Archer's gonna try to stop you. He's kind of freaking out.

But I'll tell her you're not here.

But I'm very comfortable in my own body, thank you very much. And

But if it wasn't the food How the hell did he get poisoned?

But if Mercedes isn't ? Then why would ?

But if they call this in, you'll We will be far away by then.

But if you don't put everything back where it's supposed to go

But if you don't wanna see two robots

But it's a close third.

But it's going too fast to jump off. Look at those poles zipping by

But it's probably not the best place to receive medical treatment.

But Kentucky's not all sand duney, so...

But my, uh... Stepdad.

But no, while I do

But now I'm stuck with cat puke green because you couldn't control Sterling.

But only because taking a dump on Turkmenistan is on my bucket list.

But quit hogging the beads. I'm sure Marisol and Paz wanna pray.

But seriously, do you not hear that? Yes, now.

But somehow, thanks to what I just assume is ODIN idiocy...

But still, see if you can flush him out.

But thank you for that glimpse into your bleak, farmy childhood.

But that's for the mission, to Blow up a fricking oil pipeline?

But the real good news Ow!

But then you came back to me. Wait, wait. Don't take this the wrong way...

But there's no way you ever will because you're counting the days...

But they think they are. Yes, they do. Yes, they do.

But those baby alligators people flush down there, now that's

But we have to go now. The vet comes back from lunch in 20 minutes.

But we've got dates. Meaning the fruit of the date palm?

But what about the robot fight?

But what could have caused this?

But which you're not. Who's your backup if Ray's not going? Cyril?

But who ? Oh, hang on, there's a

But who are you?

But who would take me in?

But why on earth do you feel you're qualified to be an ISIS field agent?

But word on the street is now she's expanding.

But you are here. Ah! If you walk over here and touch me...

But you are, right? Aah! Out.

But you insist that we do it.

But you said Krieger was fixing rocket.

But you should not be talking right now.

But you're gonna power through it.

But, seriously, guys, we do have a lot of food to prep so...

But, Sterling, do you not see...

But, you know, I'm sure they're fine.

By Jesus, hang on.

By now, since I bet they already did all the good ones.

Cadillac's not my real last name.

Call me when you find a lead

Called it. I've loved you since the day we met.

Can I finish? He asked, agent in commandingly.

Can we have the radio'?

Can we please just do this?

Can you at least get out of the jeep? Yes.

Can you escort us to a hospital?

Can't have anything nice.

Can't let you do that.

Can't we do both? Can't you shut up?

Can't you put a price tag on freedom?

Capped off by the fact that no one thought to catch...

Cardinal Corelli. He

Casteau must've put poison mushrooms in the Pam!

Catching the North Koreans who are in New York to buy enriched uranium.

Cheap because they don't pay taxes. Thank you.

Cheated on you as much as I did, Lana, and I'm 10 times handsomer than him, so

Chef, eat a dick.

Cheryl, you stupid ****...

Cheryl. And neither is Lana.

Chet! Onions!

Christ, Ray.

Chuy, I don't have autism!

Classic Archer. That's Barry, talking to

Classic you!

Clean the impending massive heart attack out of your ears.

Coach, by the way And don't even get me started on that.

Coated the inside of the glass.

Come on, babe, let these people do whatever it is you pay them to do...

Come on, Figgis. Come on, Figgis. Come on, Figgis.

Come on, how's that even supposed to fit inside another human being?

Come on, I need at least a thousand.

Come on, I need your help on

Come on, I need your help on

Come on, I'm dying.

Come on, let's find our

Come on, run like you're younger. Unh!

Come on, some things I gotta do myself.

Come on, this is awesome. It's like we're the Warren Commission.

Come on, this is stupid.

Come on, we're going on foot through the woods.

Come on, we're in enough trouble already.

Come on, you're all over the road here.

Come on, you're not thinking straight.

Come on!

Come on. You're still into all that stupid AV stuff, right?

Confiscated by whom? A croupier? No.

Context. They're reloading.

Convincing, not deliberately hurtful. Well?

Cough. Oh, please. Who hasn't paid for it?

Could have done it ten times by now. Goddamn it, fine, fricking review me.

Could you go ahead and shoot one or both of us now?

Could you pretend to try? Yes.

Could you try? No.

Cue sad trombone. And go.

Cy Chet, I need those onions! Yes, chef.

Cyril and/or Chet? No, Cyril and Chet are now vegans.

Cyril Figgis strikes again!

Cyril, a near death experience is, like, the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Cyril, come on, it's my nature. See? Uh, yeah, kind of.

Cyril, don't leave. It's on.

Cyril, duh, they have all kinds.

Cyril, go start the car. Are you not going to ?

Cyril, I can't move. Archer's...

Cyril, it's already full of cobra venom.

Cyril, just draw a snake.

Cyril, my gun's in the gear bag, could you hand it to me, please?

Cyril, not now.

Cyril, remember the ground rules for this? So carefully negotiated?

Cyril, shut your dickhole.

Cyril, shut your goddamn mouth!

Cyril, what are you doing right now?

Cyril, what did you think she meant by "hinder construction"?

Cyril, you want a fresh one? I do not, no.

Cyril?

Cyril? Cyril? Oh!

Cyril? Smoke fight! Whoo!

Cyril. Is it Halloween already?

Da, but I do what you ask me.

Damn it, Archer, let him Oops

Damn it, if only there was a way to slow them down.

Damn it.

Damn it. All right.

Damn it. So easy.

Damn it. We also called you Shirley Temper.

Damn you, tinnitus, you're a cruel mistress.

Damn, I'm sure my card was in here. Malory, please, allow me.

Damn.

Damn. Okay, I guess this'll have to do.

Dead, Lana!

Dead. Nice job, Oliver Cromwell. I killed the pope.

Decision. So

Derman Gurpgork.

Derman Gurpgork. Derman Gurpgork.

Derman is medicine.

Dick

Dick hole, and where'd you get that?

Did Krieger give you robot hands?

Did the unspeakable happen to your slender, hairless, adolescent body?

Did they tell you to put it in a headlock?

Did you ? Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Did you kill him? He's fine. Unlike your aim.

Did you seriously climb all the way up here just to see what my bonus is?

Didelphis virginiana.

Diés mio, don't kill them.

Dig.

Dio mio, he look just like me. Yes, Your Holiness, he's a decoy.

Diss tracks. Jesus Christ, why did we even fight a war'?

Do I?

Do not call her. I swear to God, I'll

Do not push me, Archer. And do not open that door!

Do not use the nerve gas! And yet incredibly single.

Do What?

Do you even hear yourself?

Do you even know if that thing works?

Do you even know what that is? I don't at all.

Do you ever shut up and give that man bear 25 grand...

Do you hear me? Okay.

Do you honestly wanna live through the rise of the machines?

Do you know how TV actually works?

Do you mind?

Do you need to get that?

Do you think it's a good idea...

Do you think the money's in here? Come on, help me look in these boxes.

Do you?

Do you? No.

Do you? No.

Do, and those thoughts are how about we let senor...ita ?

Does anybody have a gun?

Does he seem almost a little too fond of Troy?

Doesn't even come close to making up for leaving me stranded in Montreal.

Doesn't even make sense.

Don't actually have a follow up. But seriously, Chuy, qué the hell pasa?

Don't engage him. I've been lying in scorpion piss for two hours...

Don't judge me. I have needs, man.

Don't just stand there, idiots, help me get it off and Pam! Woodhouse.

Don't listen to her, she's

Don't look at me. Found number six.

Don't talk, just listen. My cover's blown and I need an extraction.

Don't tempt me, Barry. Boom! Bumper.

Don't thank me, thank And before you say

Don't worry, Luke. I'm coming for you.

Door. You know...

Dr. D.B. Cooper.

Drew the attention of a beautiful Woman named Ruth Anne Litzenberger...

Drive around it.

Drives people crazy.

Drop the weapon! Drop it!

Dude, I knew you faked your death because a mole framed you for stealing that uranium!

Dude, I love deep. Said your mom.

Dude, it's not a fricking tractor.

Dude, phrasing.

Dude, there's a mole in your agency.

Dude, what? It was just the tip

Duh. So I come to the Ponderosa looking for ranch Work, but my chaps get torn...

Duh. Well, since Swiss isn't a language...

Dukes, it's gonna be dark soon.

Eh. Luther had some valid complaints.

Ehh... Well, since you're not sending me...

Eight fireplaces, dude, how nuts is that?

Eight track was the way to go.

Eighty six soup. Ugh.

Electromagnetic lock installed. Are you serious?

Elk then. Whatever. Ugh!

Elliptical head, oblique dorsal scales...

Employee sucks ass at it. Strongly agree.

Emptiness where his mother's love should Ow!

Enjoy your stay...? Oh, right. Sorry.

Enough! Please, we've talked about this, it's not even 8:30.

Enter Sterling Archer, the sensitive friend.

Et cetera, et cetera.

Even Woodhouse wouldn't help me

Ever think of that? That maybe there's a fox in the henhouse?

Every morning, I make two cooks like you in the toilet.

Ew! Ow! Go.

Ew! Ugh.

Ew. And whose fault is that?

Ew. I meant with Mother.

Ew. Oh, boy

Ew. Put a shirt on. What is wrong with you?

Ew. Yeah. That's a deal breaker.

Exactly, because he's a fricking lemur.

Exactly, which should take about three hours...

Except in the form of an exquisitely prepared entrée.

Except Mother's dog. I hated that dog.

Excuse me, I need to make sure my sous chef hasn't ruined it.

Excuse me?

Excuse me.

Fake dynamite? That's your plan?

Father Guido Sardouchebag.

Feed him to Cujo here. He can poop him out when we get home.

Feel like I owe you a freebie after the Whole ant Krieger thing.

Feeling better? Sound as a pound, my dear.

Figo. He really drops the GD bombs.

Fine by me. I hate opera.

Fine. But when you take my hand off your lately almost overly ample butt

Fine. I'll buy a damn indulgence. Oh, wait.

Fine. Then I'll do it.

Fire. Ugh.

First of all, Cyril

First of all, it's Dr. I Can Solve Your Ant Problem...

First of all, not only does sucking out the venom not help the victim...

First of all, Turkmenistan isn't Or how about just sexist and stupid?

First thing I did was watch every episode Daughter of the Devil...

Fisherman's Wife and The Re Tentacling.

Five. Seven.

Fixing that spaceship, buddy.

Fm so sorry you got shot.

Food is what a dog eats, or a tourist.

Food? We're not making food, people. We're creating cuisine.

For a few years, let me tell you, kid, we were going gangbusters.

For God's sake, the least you could do is keep my wine glass full.

For helping the most notorious coyote in todo Mexico, Mercedes Moreno?

For one thing, Katya wasn't completely dead.

For other men. Uh, lost me again.

For that much money, we could have built a whole new bionic man.

For that. What, what is...? Oh.

For the This is a robot.

For the love of God, will you ?

For the name? Twin Oaks.

For which we are grateful.

For your infor I'm in. Turn it off.

For your information, Lana, I have prepared for this mission.

For your information, the Flatows are always incredibly polite to me.

Forget about actually fixing the rocket.

Forget the robot fight and just read the damn script.

Fourteen days survival ration, two night vision goggle...

Fourteen months. So go ahead, laugh.

From the Greek for, like, "kick ass."

From the State Department and Albania.

From the wrong direction. Oh, shit.

Funny, I was just gonna ask you that.

Gambit looks like he knows his way round a pair of

Gay vy Crockett, boom, nailed it.

Get child murderer Gilles de Rais in here and I'll walk you through it.

Get it? Lana, did you get it? Lana?

Get off the pope.

Get off, chlamydiot!

Get out. What?

Get some, you sons of bitches.

Get some!

Get what? Wait, is the phone not f?

Getting new carpet in my office.

Getting that list of shit you Wanted.

Gillette is a human being.

Give me a break, huh? That wasn't my fault.

Give me that. No, no, no, that's not...

Giving you a ride home. Come on, hop in.

Go online and check your bank account.

Go. What are you doing?

Go. What are you doing?

God knows how long it takes to check in with a rocket launcher.

God knows you earned it.

God, okay. This is Opposite World.

God, that is just classic Archer. Right?

God, that was killing me.

God, what a dick. Said your mom. Boom!

God. Will you man up, Kimmy Kevlar?

Goddamn it, Archer!

Goddamn it, I told them. I said...

Goddamn it, man, pace yourself!

Goddamn it, quit telling me what to do. I'm the goddamn agent in command.

Goddamn it, Ron, keep it straight!

Goddamn it, we're being followed.

Goddamn it!

Goddamn it!

Goddamn it.

Goddamn it.

Goddamn maintenance fees. Sterling, will you please help me find him?

Goes sideways

Going to one of those things where they make some record breakingly huge food...

Going to vomit.

Good day.

Good luck. She just had an electro

Good morning, asshole smoke alarm!

Good morning, bag of the unspeakable.

Good morning, bittersweet memories.

Good, because I lied. I was drunk.

Good. Saves you the embarrassment of an incredibly homophobic remark.

Goodbye, James Mason.

Gorbagun Gorbanguly.

Grab it!

Great, Miss Opposite World.

Great, now I get to slog my new Delmans through a lake of blood.

Great, now we've both killed a large animal.

Great, so after we catch him, you can intentionally hurt his feelings.

Great, so it's give him a handjob or change up my whole Sunday routine?

Guess you never learned how to shoot.

Gurpgork.

Gurpgork. Yes, Gurpgor How did you know that?

Ha ha ha! Classic you!

Ha ha ha. To where?

Ha ha ha. Yeah.

Ha ha. I have seriously never been happier. Ow!

Ha, ha, ha. “Date" dates, ding dong. With who'?

Ha, ha, ha. Absolutely not.

Ha, ha, ha. For the love of Christ, man, stop!

Ha, ha, ha. Okay, hon. Look, I'm sorry I lied...

Ha, ha, ha. Whoo!

Ha, ha! Ha!

Ha, ha. Giancarlo.

Ha, ha. He's the new, whatever, gun librarian.

Ha, ha. I think she means she'll shove it up your

Ha, ha. I'm talking about cobras.

Ha, ha. No, I seriously thought you were joking.

Ha, ha. No. No, it turns out Cyril

Ha, ha. What? Paging Dr. Bates. Dr. Norman Bates.

Ha, ha. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know.

Ha!

Ha! It is your Indians who think that.

Ha! It was a bollard.

Ha! Nice. Queer.

Ha! Why are you still going "ha"?

Ha. How long has it been since you got laid, Lana?

Ha. What were you going for, ant strength relative to the size of a human?

Hah! Yeah. Hah.

Hah. Good morning, floor.

Half. Okay, that's still a baller move.

Handler matured. Ha'.!

Hang on one second. Armory.

Hang on, I might have a juice box in my Ron!

Hang on, I should get that.

Hang on, I'm swinging back around. No, you're not. Why?

Hang on, Lana, I'm stacking rocks in order of descending size.

Hang on, let me check this imaginary list of all the people I report to.

Hang on, Pambit.

Hang on, there's a bumper. Now prep, you ******* maggots.

Hang on.

Have you ever heard such a superior, know it all tone?

He better be

He brings home a whore and says, "We're married."

He cannot be Kazak.

He is hands down the most boringest man...

He is on space station? But why?

He knows we're tense because we're normal human beings.

He said in agony...

He said, sarcastically. Phone.

He said, suddenly all pro bionic.

He says your ass gets total immunity. Ha ha ha.

He was a traitor and a thief and so I'm glad he's dead.

He was in there two days last time.

He was...

He wouldn't, by any chance, be next in line for the papacy, would he?

He wouldn't, by any chance, be next in line for the papacy, would he?

He'll be eating his meatball subs through a straw.

He's Wait, I'm sorry, whose future together?

He's a black.

He's a kickass agent, a great wingman...

He's dead.

He's fine.

He's just such a bastard.

He's not unstoppable anymore. Ray's got bionic legs.

He's right here.

He's what? Dead.

Heh, heh, heh. Yes. Ha, ha, ha

Heh, heh. Lana?

Heh, heh. Oh, wouldn't you like to know?

Heh, heh. What do you mean, "Where is Barry?" He's

Heh, heh. You what? Ha, ha. I mean, this was years and years ago.

Heh, I don't at all. Ha, ha.

Heh. He has to call me chef. How and why are you enjoying this?

Heh. I can't. You know...

Heh. I don't know. What are we doing?

Heh. I guess I had that coming.

Heh. No shit. Why would I lie about that?

Heh. Sterling, please.

Heh. Until he wakes up and sees me staring at him...

Heh. What, they don't have black nuns?

Hello, Sterling.

Hello?

Hello? Darling, you're breaking up.

Hello? See how I did that? Just picked up the phone and talked into it?

Hello. Yeah. Way to not call it in.

Help! Brett?

Helping me find Archer. Where is he?

Here we go.

Here you go, gang, get in here. I brought a bunch of crackers and jelly.

Here you go, sir.

Here, boy. Come on, buddy. Uh, heel?

Here, hit this hash brown. That creepy old dude put his lips on it but

Here, you baby.

Here. Ta da!

Here. What dish are they going in?

Here's $4300.

Here's the thing Promise you won't get mad?

Here's your key for the honeymoon suite. Congratties.

Hey Pumpkin pie.

Hey, asshole!

Hey, be careful, there might be snakes!

Hey, check it out, Fred and Barney, we're at the Water Buffalo Lodge

Hey, do you ever think maybe we're kind of not always 100 percent of the time...

Hey, does Woodhouse seem unhappy to you or ?

Hey, don't yell at me, I'm not the idiot who got us stuck.

Hey, guess what's not a good time.

Hey, guys

Hey, guys.

Hey, how's it going?

Hey, I'm not doing super great.

Hey, I'm not the idiot who didn't

Hey, I'm serious, if I have to pull this car over...

Hey, is something burning? Oh, wait, it's you, because you just got burned

Hey, Lana. Where's Archer?

Hey, let us go.

Hey, see how I did that?

Hey, should I wash my hands? Eh. I didn't.

Hey, shut up! And also Ew

Hey, thanks, Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Hey, there's Archer.

Hey, who's a poopy boy, huh? Who's a poopy boy?

Hey, will you bring me a present? Mm, no.

Hey, you know what?

Hey, Your Holiness.

Hey! Don't run over us, we have a baby!

Hey.

Hey. Cut rate James Mason.

Hey. Don't listen to him, you're beautiful.

Hey. Get me a table, or the fish gets it.

Hey. Whoa, not cool, Payne Stewart.

Hi yah!

Hi, yeah, are you done shouting at my guests in barely passable French?

Hi, yeah, we broke down and, uh

Hi. Excuse me.

His head is not up his ass.

Hm.

Hm.

Hm. Doesn't even make sense.

Hm. Excuse me. Thank you, giraffe lady.

Hm. Hm!

Hm. Lucky guess.

Hmm, because we don't give a shit?

Hmm? Oh, so nothing a few hundred thousand volts couldn't cure.

Hmm? Seriously, eat. You're like a slow loris.

Hmm.

Hold on, I'm stopping. Why?

Holy shi It's a false flag operation. To make it look like the Swiss Guard

Holy shit snacks.

Holy shit, already?

Holy shit, I'm gonna die in the desert.

Holy shit, is that Cheryl? What the hell is she doing?

Holy shit, that's racist, Archer. What is wrong with you?

Holy shit, there really are nerve gas canisters up here.

Homosexual, Ray. So, so obviously.

Hoo hoo. Teddy. Such a scamp.

Hopefully not running, because I'll be in brand new shoes.

Hopefully that's just neurological damage from scraping lead paint.

Hopefully the last remaining shred of Archer's eardrums.

Hopefully, this stupid boat to Spain has aspirin.

How about geopolitics? Uh...

How about now? Son of a

How are you bored?

How are you?

How can you not love this place? The sights, the sounds, the smells.

How could you not see that?

How did ? You have any idea how many times...

How did I get all the way downtown?

How did you never see that show? I was probably here...

How do these people all have dates? These aren't people you date.

How far is it? I don't know. I need to look at the

How is a Lorax blowing tree hugger like you anti immigration?

How is he the victim?

How is that funny?

How is this my fault? You were the

How much did you go to the damn doctor? I don't know, like, a lot.

How much freaking kofta did you eat?

How the hell did you fix his ship? I gave you a bunch of gibberish.

How the hell do we flush him out?

How the hell should I know?

How was I supposed to know it was gonna make him do that?

How was I supposed to know it was gonna make him do that?

How would I ever die in a dessert?

How? Everyone watched me take it. Under sterile conditions, by the way.

How? That office Was, like, just a trailer.

How'd you know what he said? It was an eight hour flight.

How's it hanging, Grimace? Ow!

How's it hanging, Jorge? Bien, Ms. Pam.

How's it the same word for bread and snake and Friday and that damn dog?

However, we cannot tell these two apart.

Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons

Huh? Huh? The elevator's broken?

Huh? Oh.

Huh? The elevator.

Huh. So, uh, I'm guessing that's a no posible on the blowjob?

I Whatever. Look, obviously there's

I actually do not promise I won't get mad. Because here's what thing?

I actually don't have a follow up.

I actually have some thoughts on that. No, you

I also don't have time to teach you how to speak hobo

I also speak for Kazak, who, by the way, is the real victim here.

I am compensating! Compensate!

I am gonna give you the worst peer review in the history of them.

I am literally going to kill him.

I am Moreno.

I am not, ever, sucking your taint.

I am out of here. Oh, my God.

I am screwing.

I am. What I'm not open to is not sleeping on the floor...

I apologize, madame, but For what, Dunkirk?

I apologize, that was out of line.

I assume because this restaurant can't hold 3 million viewers.

I assume Lana's mad because Sterling's pushing her buttons.

I assume you have a plan once inside?

I assume. And desperately hope.

I bet at least three of these women are about to give birth

I bet she smuggles in a thousand of them son of bitches a year.

I bet you're reading it wrong. Section two, interpersonal.

I can do this all day!

I can promise it ain't my last. I mean, I doubt he can find it.

I can see that! Why the hell did you ask?

I can't go anymore. Can't do it. Section four, running.

I can't go back to that world, man. I'm too tired

I can't really explain

I changed it from Kazinsky.

I coated his glass with cyanide, you idiots, for the toast.

I could use some help

I did not sign on to be a dog sitter for... Whose freaking dog is this?

I did. I did say a rocket launcher.

I did. Thank you, mister.

I didn't.

I don't even know how you're alive.

I don't know if I'd call it a plan. No one would.

I don't know who keeps tipping them off. And anyway, you mean semiannual

I don't know, James Mason. Do you?

I don't know, like this, I guess.

I don't know, maybe I'm the only one...

I don't know, the police band is working, but now the eight track is:

I don't know, we'll say B was "shut up." And are we done here?

I don't know! Then why are you dressed like that?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. Maybe you were right about a few things..

I don't know. She threw away my phrasebook.

I don't know. They were, like, Persian. Uh

I don't need to see this, I remember all of it.

I don't question your commitment to the mission...

I don't see how it possibly could be. Okay.

I don't think he likes guns.

I don't think he speaks English. What's "get off" in Arabic?

I don't think he's on this floor, but idiot Brett managed to get shot.

I don't understand.

I don't, actually. Come on, there's too much evidence.

I don't. Tease.

I drew because we don't know what's waiting for us behind this

I feel I am home in Albania.

I forgot. How do you forget you have bionic legs?

I got a Yeah, I got an alligator.

I got a bitch of a headache and a bladder full of bourbon.

I got a dealership in Catskill.

I got him. Just toss him down.

I got kicked out of Episcopal prep school. Twice.

I gotta go stop him. Stop who?

I gotta start going to that gypsy. We'll never..

I guess that explains that.

I happen to love n****es and jazz.

I have to say, it kind of worries me you don't know the names of the actual bones.

I heard you.

I heard you. Why did you ask?

I honestly don't know, but why are you doing that?

I honestly wanna hear your thoughts on getting me across.

I hope you like alligators. I do.

I just can't seem to find the humor in...

I just don't wish to speak to her.

I just slept out there a lot.

I kept getting chlamydia. Ow!

I know You're okay. We gave you the antivenom.

I know I'm not perfect, but you have to admit I'm better.

I know the Caspian cobra, which is indigenous to Turkmenistan...

I know, but imagine it all fixed up.

I know, rich people problems.

I know, right? Trope alert.

I know, this is a lot to process. No, like, literally

I know.

I know.

I know. Dude, I know. Thank you.

I know. I'm sorry, it's because I use humor as a coping mechanism.

I may have gone a teeny bit off script'?

I may have something a bit more in your price range. Basement okay?

I may have wandered pretty far from the Church...

I mean it, Lana, that girl is out of here.

I mean it's all fake, obviously Exactly

I mean, don't do this, Lana. Come on, I'd be happy to bang you.

I mean, I also didn't think to bring toilet paper, but I'm not, you know...

I mean, I assume there is, but

I mean, if you think we have time... Cyril.

I mean, it is just constant ABBAB.

I mean, it's from outer space, but Sterling, please, I want to hear it.

I mean, it's not like your ancestors, you know, had papers.

I mean, look, I don't want to sound racist, but

I mean, not a huge surprise from a self centered alcoholic..

I mean, not to sound racist, but we all know who the terrorists are.

I mean, Pd be lying if I said it wasn't a factor.

I mean, shut up. ls ?

I mean, thanks to you...

I mean, what if she had to subdue an enemy agent?

I mean, you can't put a price tag on freedom.

I mean. heh, heh, I am the head of the KGB, so

I meant And so while I think it's hilarious...

I meant Ray, who's just standing there.

I meant stop talking about ass ripping sewer gators.

I meant, I won't allow you. Allow me?

I meant, Mrs. Archer.

I meant, watching me save your ass for the gazillionth time.

I need a lead acid battery, 50 units of plasma...

I need range time, so scuttle back into the little domain over which you have power...

I need to go not pack some shoes, since I'm gonna buy about 10 pairs...

I need you to go down to Western Union and wire me a thousand dollars.

I only get 45 minutes.

I really think you might be insane.

I said No, no, no. Shh.

I said "desert." Oh.

I said don't try to kill Sterling, and what do you do?

I said it on Tuesday!

I said slowly.

I said who was in the goddamn

I said, how hot can you make it?

I said, why not use this one? No. Give me that.

I saw the best minds of my generation Destroyed by madness

I seriously wouldn't do that. Yeah, because you're not awesome.

I so can't relate to that.

I swear to God, you people... Just say the word on the nerve gas.

I think I know how to spot a tail, so ls your phone on?

I think I'm in love with you.

I think in her mind that means

I think it's antivenom. Give me.

I think we can handle a few court jesters with, whatever, halberds.

I think, do you guys, um, las noticias ?

I thought I heard self righteous clomping. Can I help you?

I thought if I let you go, you'd at least blow me.

I thought that was a joke.

I thought they just had halberds. Do you at least have a sidearm?

I thought Troy was already dead. Because he wants you to think that!

I thought you might like some insight into how you became the man you are.

I thought you'd like to see something. I've seen poverty.

I told you, I have to answer to my board of directors

I told you.

I took the liberty of taking in the jacket a bit, and

I trained him for a year and the minute he's worth a damn..

I used to own a restaurant. It was a burger joint.

I value all cultures equally highly.

I wanna help you finish your new spaceship. Why is that weird?

I wanna say "duh," but...

I want it officially on record that I am strongly opposed to this mission.

I want that all cleaned up before Monday, mister!

I want them all converging on his location

I was gonna say "underrated" but

I was gonna say, GPS, gun, sat phone, and canteen full of life saving water.

I was scared. I ran away. Sue me.

I was talking to him, stupid. Great, then I'll

I will because I command me to.

I will go start the car.

I won't even waste however much dry erase it'll take to write that down.

I would never allow a monkey in my restaurant.

I would, but I can't feel my hands.

I would. Burn.

I wouldn't argue with a Oof!

I wouldn't really describe her as haggard. I would.

I, uh Well, yeah, I figured the odds on that were pretty huge

I'd be my first favorite prehensile tailed animal

I'd hate to use the nerve gas.

I'd have to go with hypothermia.

I'll be home tonight. Oh, I know. Because what's tonight?

I'll be out front favoring the guest of honor with aperitif and my presence.

I'll be somewhere in or on top of my building..

I'll go be thorough at my job and plant the Geiger counter...

I'll have what he's having.

I'll lure him to my condo in Miami, drug his steak au poivre..

I'll tell you what we should be doing. So who does the pope remind you of?

I'm 6 today, it's my birthday.

I'm a little busy right now!

I'm afraid I have some bad news.

I'm afraid that isn't possible.

I'm assuming you mean give me the ability to have an erection?

I'm coming! Phrasing, boom!

I'm cranky because I didn't sleep. Inaccurate.

I'm digging, I'm digging.

I'm doing the best I can.

I'm glad you took the time to fix it.

I'm go

I'm going to vomit.

I'm gonna get a mirror.

I'm gonna need you to repeat that.

I'm gonna work for ODIN. He was still awesome.

I'm just Yes!

I'm just super good at that.

I'm kidding, obviously. I wouldn't be caught dead in a sweater vest.

I'm kind of near Hey, guys, where are ?

I'm Lana." Okay, you know what?

I'm like a calculator. Add it up. Add it up.

I'm not calling for an extraction.

I'm not cutting out their eyeballs. Not with that. Use a melon baller.

I'm not going home. I'm going down there to kick some Kim Jong ass.

I'm not jumping on that damn thing! Really?

I'm not scared of priests or nuns or Bishops?

I'm not tossing the fricking pope.

I'm serious, about any of it.

I'm serious, please, thank you, but we need to get back into Mexico.

I'm serious. Calm the hell down.

I'm serious. Maybe being a secret agent isn't your true calling.

I'm sorry, did you say "incapacitated"?

I'm sorry, veterinarian, I'm in a lot of pain.

I'm sorry? The real number's a secret...

I'm sorry. And I'm sure I...

I'm sure Woodhouse never gets a vacation.

I'm talking about Mr. Archer and Lana in a deluxe honeymoon suite.

I'm who should have a date. I'm the best at dates.

I'm, uh, actually gonna take that back.

I've already done it twice.

I've been ripped off the last three times. What are they supposed to live on?

I've been to Oh, how's it going in Turkmenistan?

I've been trying to get a table at Seize for months...

I've got a bad feeling about this

Idiot. As I was saying...

If Barry really is cheating on me...

If Chet gets his incompetent thumb out of his equally incompetent ass!

If he is! Because you've always been insanely jealous of my friends!

If I could just get a credit card for the room and any incidentals then we'll be

If I do, the truck will flip, and if Lana doesn't die...

If I don't make good on that fish fight..

If I may rebut, point by point? No, you may

If I'd known I couldn't get a table, I would have never agreed to do security.

If Moreno had surrendered, how did it go so wrong?

If my body's throwing up the poison?

If that's the best you can do...

If that's, you know, how you self identify.

If the saddle oxford and/or ruby slipper fits, mister and/or missy.

If there were, I would tell you, but

If there's any bullets left after I murder both of you.

If you can't turn that into promo gold, you should honestly consider suicide.

If you could even call it that. What's yours? Is it shitty?

If you don't answer, I'm gonna scream as loud as I possibly

If you keep it up, this headache you gave me...

If you mean my grandfather's Glengoolie Blue,

If you think I'm gonna let you turn me into some sort of cyborg zombie like Katya

If you two could go be crazy and horrible elsewhere?

If you're ever in Red Hook snooping around in random dumpsters.

If, in fact, I heard you correctly.

If, in some crazy parallel universe, I agreed to that...

In addition to saving you a gazillion times...

In Krieger's lab? Anywhere, duh, it's portable.

In the walk in, weeping like a child

Inappropriate.

Instead of feeling me up in the lobby Wait till we're in the room. Got it.

Instead of savoring this espresso, this cigarette...

Insurance bullshit. Compliments of them democratic queers in Congress.

Investigating a ballistic anomaly.

Is funny, you don't ask where is Barry.

Is he ? Ugh, this is totally nerve racking.

Is he dead'? I don't know. Shut up, I'm

Is it too much to ask? Just once?

Is it, take them both home, see which one's a better butler...

Is that ? Cyril?

Is that all? You don't want the fricking eyeballs?

Is that it? Is that it?

Is that it? Oh, is that it? Or is it that?

Is that it? Point taken!

Is that supposed to be funny? Yes.

Is the pope hit?

Is there some amount you can shoot up to get right for the mission...

Is this really the room where Allen Ginsberg wrote “Howl"?

Is what I was gonna say.

ISIS Unh

It can't be. By, like, definition. Archer.

It can't determine if they're suited for actual field work.

It doesn't explain how Archer is gonna run this mission himself.

It honestly kind of comes and goes.

It is just idiots all the way down

It is like peeling an onion with you. Right? Oh, wait.

It matters to me. Well, but you don't.

It might be. If you had drunk it.

It might change my mood. To remorseful?

It was actually about 10 times worse.

It was actually pretty awesome. And, if I'm being honest, so was Leon.

It was on his collar the whole time. Something about nukes in ****stan.

It was rhetorical.

It was ruining the lines of my cassock. Damn it.

It wasn't Lana, it was by definition a farce.

It'd be cheaper to build a brand new house out of actual money

It's Because I never really got over that.

It's Just get a running start.

It's a proprietary blend.

It's a real magic bullet.

It's a real one. Yay!

It's about 20 miles north of Bennington, so I assume it's a B&B.

It's actually monoxide.

It's already happening.

It's broken?

It's gonna be amazing, dude, look at these floors.

It's gonna look like I'm leaving, but that's only because I'm leaving.

It's gotta be killing him.

It's half empty.

It's hard to say, really. I mean, Chi's taking her sweet time here.

It's important to her.

It's impossible.

It's just like my birthday party all over again.

It's lamb, ding dong, not salmon.

It's like if you've ever seen Jackie Gleason dance.

It's like their guard is so up, it's Cyril, Scotch, where?

It's my third biggest fear.

It's no secret agent, but it's way above architect.

It's not a freaking phaser. A what?

It's not democratic, not a republic, and definitely not glorious.

It's not like it hasn't crossed your mind. And you're not getting any younger.

It's not my fault Italy's so gay.

It's okay, I'll skip ahead to three, which is, now what, idiot?

It's rosemary mint.

It's ruined. No, it's actually really good.

It's the absolute worst possible thing you can do for a snakebite.

It's the muezzin chanting the adhan, Lana. God, be open to other cultures.

It's the Vatican, Line 1. Jesus!

It's this or the map, so...

It's understandable. I mean, I'd do me

It's your phone. Oh. Duh.

Item seven:

Item six.

James Mason, why are we in Baltimore?

James. James Mason. Oh.

Jazz hands.

Jazz hands.

Jeezy P, I mean, besides Barry and Katya, what is his deal with robots?

Jeezy Petes.

Jermaine! Jermaine! Jermaine!

Jesus Christ, how many times do I have to apologize for that?

Jesus Christ, I'm going to hell! I'm going to hell.

Jesus Christ, I'm sorry!

Jesus God, what am I doing with ?

Jesus H. Thirst, speaking of.

Jesus, clean the secretly gay for Lucas Troy

Jesus, God, I know who my real father Was.

Jesus, sweat much?

Jesus, the dentist. God damn, dude.

Jesus, this is actually almost depressing.

Jesus, watch Frontline once in your life.

Jesus, what's the big deal?

Jesus.

Jesus. Sure, if he helps.

Jesus. What was the second saddest?

Jesus. Yeah.

Join the club. Unh

Just because Lana makes you feel insecure in your masculinity

Just dropping off my buddy, Ron.

Just hang on!

Just like Cheryl's gypsy woman said.

Just like Fourth of Ju Luau. Yeah, if you slid a pig under him.

Just like his ISIS contract.

Just need to grab some menus for the Camera? Why is there a camera?

Just needs a little kick in the ass. Speaking of, where's Chet?

Just pick up the goddamn jeep.

Just pretend I'm

Just pretty dead?

Just put him through, you idiot. Okay. Jesus.

Just put one through the engine block when the truck has to stop.

Just say the word. Krieger! No! Or nein or whatever.

Just the dinner menu

Just wait until you try my tavé kosi. Oh! Tavé kosi is my most favorite.

Just your jacket, come on, I'm freezing!

Katya, baby, don't

Kazak!

Kazak? Hello?

Kazak. Kazak.

Keep it UP

Keep that coming. That was my boss's boss's boss.

Keep trying to reach them on the sat phone. If that doesn't work...

Kicked out in the first act.

Krieger, any word from Sterling?

Krieger, hey. You wanna get a drink? Ooh.

Krieger, I need you to Krieger?

Krieger, I'm gonna count to one!

Krieger, open this goddamn door!

Krieger!

Krieger! He's making a gay Terminator!

Krieger! Jazz hands.

Krieger! Krieger!

Krieger! Yep, yep, yep.

Krieger.

L Because I take pride in my work?

L I'm sorry, James Mason.

L Oh.

L She said "credible threat." I know, but what kind of credible

L Shit, something about an ass kicking with handmade Italian shoes.

L Wait, but two Border Patrol agents are missing...

L Wait, no, yeah, I got...

L Yeah. I mean, yeah. No duh.

L You know, are you constantly aware you have regular leg bones? No, you

L Hey

L, uh, don't think that's an option.

L... Oh, you are...

L... They won't broadcast this episode...

La sacra Bibbia says it is a mortal sin.

Lame.

Lana is going. Ha!

Lana is going. Ha!

Lana was in command. Yes, was.

Lana, come on, we both know you're Quitting, Archer. Yes, exactly.

Lana, he obviously bailed out and And then...

Lana, head toward Swiss Guard HQ.

Lana, his nose is like ajillion times more sensitive than ours.

Lana, I said no.

Lana, I will hire Kenny Loggins to come here...

Lana, it's an undercover mission. At the Vatican?

Lana, listen, I No.

Lana, listen. No, you listen. We're

Lana, look out!

Lana, look out!

Lana, look. He thinks he's people.

Lana, now! He said, last wordsingly. Hang on.

Lana, put it away. All right, everything is okay. See?

Lana, put the gun down. He's gonna

Lana, she really worked hard on it.

Lana, that is the third saddest thing I've heard today.

Lana, this is a Central Asian...

Lana, wait!

Lana, you can't beckon him and then rebuff him.

Lana!

Lana!

Lana! Archer!

Lana! Archer?

Lana! Have you lost your mind?

Lana! I'm coming, Cyril.

Lana! Jesus, what? Is it the Koreans?

Lana! Oh, my God.

Lana? Lana! Holy shit, I think she's gone rogue.

Lana? Little geek dude'?

Lana.

Lana.

Lana.

Lana. Okay, I'm going with you.

Lana's either in the bathroom or Oh, my God!

Lana's in trouble. You just gotta man up and

Last time she was in the field, they were using muskets.

Leave it.

Leave it. Yes.

Lesson one.

Let her handle it. She seems capable. Hey, thanks.

Let him. That door came off the Graf Spee.

Let me get settled before you clomp in here in one of your jealous snits.

Let me tell you something about that so called stupid dog, Mr. Man.

Let's go, Chet, chop chop.

Let's see, so judging from the shell ejection, she was firing at...

Like give you an erection?

Like the Tuntmore Towers Hotel, where Lana's shacked up with Mr. Archer?

Like we can afford to eat lunch at any of those.

Like, the GPS coordinates or ?

Little column A, little column B.

Little column A, little column B. Be advised...

Long story, babe.

Look at the mantelpiece. Mahogany

Look, don't worry, I can handle it. But

Look, for your information..

Look, Guatemala's democratically elected government Wasn't gonna overthrow itself.

Look, just give me 10, 20 minutes and

Look, look, look, check it out.

Look, look, look, check it out.

Look, look. Look out!

Look, obviously Moroccan intelligence isn't

Look, Ron, the train

Look, seriously Whoo!

Look, they're, like, totally slipper

Look, we really gotta hustle if we wanna make that curtain.

Look, we're just doing our job here.

Look, you two stay if you want. I'm leaving.

Looks like it's just about done, huh?

Lorne Greene. Wow.

Ls there a Greek word for "insane"? Yes.

Lucky for the madman.

Luke

Luke, if you really do love me... You know I do.

Luke?

Lupe. Come on, you're in America now, you just imply it.

Make an attempt on your life tonight, so

Make it rain? What am I, an Indian?

Make that two time shares.

Making a Stain on the sidewalk?

Malory And Shut up.

Malory, a man has just been murdered.

Malory, I must go now. Please, hurry.

Malory, Ray can walk again. Buh duh buh ba!

Malory, we But thank you both for all that you did do.

Malory, we don't have much time. Your agents of ISIS, they are ready, no?

Malory, you cannot be serious.

Malory, you have married? Uh...

Malory? Because I'm seriously asking.

Malory. What?!

Man, my head is spinning.

Man, this must be killing you.

Manhattan, yes. Yes, thank you.

Maps all through the HVAC ducts.

Maria Moreno, dumb ass.

Mascu Look who's talking.

MASON". I beg your pardon?

Master P would totally be proud

MaWP

Mawp.

May I finish?

Maybe between biannual suitcase robberies.

Maybe he can mince down to the bank and apply for a $12,000 loan for a new furnace.

Maybe I will. All right. Lana, pack a bag, you're

Maybe I will. All right. Lana, pack a bag, you're

Maybe shut up before I lose my temper again.

Maybe that's his Lorne Greene

Maybe you're lame. Maybe you can shut your dick holster.

Maybe. Aah!

Me and anybody who could fog a mirror.

Me too. But actually I was wondering if you'd like to walk again.

Me, Tony, Donny, hey, hey, Joey and Fat Mike.

Me? Lana, you're the agent in command. Archer?

Meathead frat boy asshole jock maybe, but no, definitely not gay.

Mel"I.

Men who model.

Mercedes? Vroom!

Mexico's most notorious coyote.

Milk comes from Mexicans?

Mind blown!

Mio Dio, you think this is funny? I thought that was.

Miss Archer, Lana for you, Line 1. I'm not here.

Mm hm, mm hm. Okay. Ahem. You were saying?

Mm hm. Okay, bye bye. Bye, bye.

Mm, no. Whereas I was just speaking Italian...

Mm. I'm fine.

Mm. Mm mmm.

Mm. Okay, uh, say "Thanks for coming." Nope.

Mm. So just so I'm clear...

Mmm, Chef Randy, this is the best tavé kosi I ever tested. I

Mmm, not bad, Randy. Not bad at all. Thank you, chef

Montreal. Long story, but my money and passport were confiscated, so

More than their so catted principles.

Moreno is a woman.

Mother said they were fake.

Mother, hey. You wanna go get a drink? You know, as a matter of fact, I do.

Mother, I don't have a passport Don't get me wrong, I respect that.

Mother, tell me exactly what happened.

Mother? Sterling

Mother. Listen, I'm sorry, I take...

Move, idiot. I'm going as fast as I can.

Move.

Mr. Archer, I'm afraid I must ask you to cease your insufferable tooting.

Mr. Archer, please.

Mr. Archer's on Line 2. I'm on the phone.

Ms. Archer. What? She doesn't know what we need.

Ms. Archer's pissed cause a bunch of guns and stuff keep going missing.

Mumps? Or who knows.

Mwah

My back, my back, my back.

My cooch has cobwebs on it.

My God, a perfect score on the IFAAB merely indicates...

My God, he assumed we'd totally blow it.

My God, what they did to that pig.

My God.

My mother obviously doesn't know about this stuff, so

My only regret is I won't get to turn this in because it is scathing.

My penis can only get so erect.

My point is, ow, sometimes we do good work.

My second favorite animal with a prehensile

My theory, and I'm serious...

Nailed it. Boom!

Name one, just one single favor, that Archer ever did for any of you.

Name one. Che

Neat.

Need a ride, champ?

Need you to No.

Never get the undercoating.

New York's five hours behind. Maybe she's not in the office.

Next year it'll be seven, sport. We just broke ground in White Plains.

Nice. Hey, excellent job, seriously.

Nice. Man, you should have been a chef. Oh. Pshaw.

Nice. What's nice is this hot tub

Nice. Yes, and that is excellent ABBAB. Always Be Berating and Belittling.

No one

No one, Woodhouse.

No problem there.

No shit, I was bawling my eyes out.

No shit, that was like 20 bucks' worth. Who drinks a pint of grappa?

No shit.

No, an idiot would wipe his ass with our only compass.

No, Archer, I thought I had. You did.

No, Archer, just one smell, singular, which would knock a possum over.

No, asshole. As a bed and breakfast.

No, but Chuy, back me up here, was there not, like, a cock hungry vibe?

No, but I'm breathing fast.

No, for everything.

No, he's not.

No, he's not. He's just old.

No, I Bishop the android from Aliens?

No, I can probably get some.

No, I can't. We No, you can. I'm allowing you.

No, I don't think he can keep bread down.

No, I mean you're booked solid for Holy shit, the next 10 months?

No, I mean, if, God forbid, the worst happens, there's lots of Dumpsters.

No, I meant dropping me off. If your mother thinks we're all buddy buddy

No, I sarcastically climbed all the way up here to see what your bonus is.

No, I started with the freshest ingredients, like

No, I think I'm really dying.

No, I would absolutely not like

No, I'm pretty sure I'm dying.

No, I'm serious

No, I'm trying to get Archer to whatever passes for a doctor around here...

No, it was Oh, yeah, Spray And Pray.

No, it's

No, it's gone.

No, it's not, because as love besotted newlyweds...

No, just my temper.

No, Krieger, because this way, I never have to buy new shoes.

No, Lana, I'm talking about aubergines.

No, Mother, because you were too busy wasting it on Fourth of Ju Luau.

No, no, no, do it again, do it again, do it a !

No, no, no, hey, come on, don't do that.

No, no, no, I think it's

No, no, no, I'm Embarrassing yourself, dear.

No, no, no, I'm kidding.

No, no, no, look out, you're !

No, no, no, what the hell?

No, no, no!

No, no, no!

No, no, no!

No, no, no! You can never tell her about that.

No, no, no.

No, no, no. Archer, don't.

No, no, no. Don't look at the poles. They give you a false perspective.

No, no, no. No, no, no. Enjoy your stay, Mr. and Mrs. Archer.

No, no, no. What is the meaning of this?

No, no.

No, no. No way. I'm not going back for her.

No, not exactly. I just thought it'd give us a chance to bond.

No, not the Ray kind. Meaning?

No, not worse as in Okay, screw you guys, you know what I meant.

No, Pam, they are not banging.

No, see? She's fine.

No, seriously, I can barely hear me. Are my ears really that messed up?

No, seriously, if anybody finds out I helped you, I'll be disavowed.

No, sir. So go get ready.

No, that was active aggressive.

No, they changed it.

No, this has nothing to do with robotics. I'm talking about bionics.

No, Vermont has liquor stores. Right?

No, we just went over To read. Now, come on, hurry up!

No, we're fine. Aren't We, Krieger'?

No, yeah, I mean obviously it's

No, yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing. Because your ego needs its own zip code?

No, you Mr. Archer, wait.

No, you hate it that she married anybody, because you want her all to yourself!

No, you please, he loves me. You should have heard that pathetic tape.

No!

No!

No!

No! ...or is no longer in service. Goodbye.

No! Ugh.

No? Look, dipshit.

No.

No. ...just sort of interject here?

No. Although I am out of ammo.

No. But this can't You cheated.

No. Coordinate with Rome, then get me the latest intel...

No. From her.

No. Guy's probably got nine wives and a jillion kids and

No. I Ugh!

No. I know, right? It's loud as balls.

No. I told Miss Archer that because I didn't wanna go on another mission...

No. I'm actually broker than usual.

No. I'm sure whoever it is

No. It's "rnushi" night. Movie and sushi.

No. Jesus.

No. Lana?

No. Like...

No. Look, I think it's great if you are.

No. Mother, come on, we don't need to

No. No, it is not.

No. Nobody's doing anything.

No. Nobody's doing their peer reviews.

No. Thank you.

No. Uh uh.

No. Well?

Nobody will know, it's Albanian glop. The entree is a fricking sheep face.

Nobody, rna'am. Unless you want.

None of it!

Nope

Nope! You are not using the map for that.

Nope. No, no, no, nope.

Nor do I see how you could possibly think...

Norman Bates. You know

Not a word.

Not about you, about Turkmenistan.

Not as unfair as how laid I'm gonna get.

Not criticizing, Chi. Thorough is good.

Not even gonna swing at that one.

Not for the Morelli thing. I planned that entire operation.

Not great.

Not if we're buying it as a condo.

Not in those exact words, but She thinks I'm boring?

Not on my carpet, you're not. I

Not on the preapproved list of equipment for this mission.

Not really. I thought this was the door to the hallway.

Not right this second!

Not six. Oh, yeah?

Not that I'll ever get the chance.

Not to mention he's driving us nonstop straight to Manhattan.

Not to mention U.S. Albanian relations.

Not when I'm done with him .

Not yet, but you just say the word. The

Not you, Chet. You look like a dinosaur's tampon.

Not you, the The fence post?

Not you. And did you count right?

Nothing is going on, Lana.

Nothing? I got shot.

Nothing.

Nothing. She quit because you made us fly to Morocco.

Now go!

Now he's run off with this old Mexican woman to who knows where.

Now if you'll excuse me

Now that I see your eyes...

Now what do you want? I'm extremely busy.

Now what do you want? I'm extremely busy.

Now, can we go already?

Now, for various reasons, which frankly don't concern you..

Now, get back here and mop it up, Chet.

Now, get these entrees to the table. Move, maggots! Everybody take a tray.

Now, get to work. I'm talking to you, Gayvid Niven.

Now, hands up, Moreno! It's over!

Now, how were you holding it, like, exactly?

Now, I'm telling you, guys like him are the lifeblood of America.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to make some calls...

Now, just a darn minute. We are Americans

Now, open the goddamn door.

Now, shut up and come on. We've got a train to catch.

Now, tell me exactly what happened.

Now, the audio's a little rough, you know.

Now, then, I believe there was some mention of a thank you drink?

Now, there's a show I'd like to Wait, you won't get away with this.

Now, when I'm suction cupped on a window, 30 stories above the ground.

Now, who do I have to screw to get a drink around here?

Now's not the time for any more chemical changes to my blood.

Obtaining armory materiel under false pretenses is a fireable offense.

Obviously they're ceremonial, Lana. They were made obsolete by the arquebus.

Obviously, I am here. Phew!

Odd choice of dying words.

Of course you would. But Shut up.

Of what, this litter box? Or Western Europe?

Of which you were there for two. Three.

Oh, and Barry said tell you he's I heard him.

Oh, and I'm an idiot.

Oh, and let me know if you need a gallon of irradiated ants.

Oh, and one last thing, Rodney, when I get back from Rome, you're

Oh, and speaking of, in the hole!

Oh, and the whore has bangs

Oh, and what fresh hell is this?

Oh, and when I'm through talking to Malory...

Oh, and you could have told me you just took her to the stupid vet.

Oh, and your friend, crippling debt.

Oh, come on, you need to fix? Mm.

Oh, eat a di What was that?

Oh, eat a dick. That's "Eat a dick, chef."

Oh, Fat Mike too? RON". All of them.

Oh, for Archer, if it walks like a duck...

Oh, for Cyril, when I was 10 years old...

Oh, for Nice. Real mature, Lana.

Oh, for Pam, they're on a mission. Ary position.

Oh, for Seriously?

Oh, for Then just let me talk to Pam.

Oh, for This is not Opposite World.

Oh, for God's sake, get a room

Oh, for the And thanks for making me carry your bag through customs.

Oh, for the Eavesdrop much?

Oh, for the Please.

Oh, for the This is the pope.

Oh, for the We're already late. What'd you go and start that for'?

Oh, for the love

Oh, for the... Get off. Ooh! Ha, ha!

Oh, God

Oh, God, I don't know. Maybe a gigantic chocolate mousse or

Oh, God, I'm sorry. Seriously

Oh, God, that's how Maximum Overdrive started.

Oh, God!

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Were you raised in a barn?

Oh, goddamn it.

Oh, goddamn, dude.

Oh, he is going to pay for this. Literally.

Oh, he just has to ruin everything.

Oh, he Wants a lot, lot, lot of money.

Oh, I get it, because of the chlamydia.

Oh, I mean nope. Nope, nope, nope. Argh.

Oh, I'm gonna go make a big pitcher of melon balls.

Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of...

Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Tunt. Did that hurt?

Oh, I'm sorry, nor is this heaven.

Oh, I'm the asshole?

Oh, just curious.

Oh, just some handsome firemen I met at a warehouse fire.

Oh, look. Lana, look. He thinks he's vampires.

Oh, Lupe says she will be praying for you.

Oh, man, back when we were training together, we tore it up!

Oh, man, that is classic Luke the Spook!

Oh, man, they gotta bump uglies now.

Oh, man, this is almost too easy.

Oh, man, wait till the crew hears this.

Oh, man.

Oh, man. Wow, that's gotta hurt, huh?

Oh, meaning that's tentacle porn

Oh, my I basically just lurch from one fireable offense to the next.

Oh, my Wait, extraction? From where?

Oh, my God, Cyril. Ray.

Oh, my God, it's you. You're the threat.

Oh, my God, maybe I am autistic. Ow.

Oh, my God, not in my face!

Oh, my God, thank you. You're welcome.

Oh, my God, that can't be good.

Oh, my God, the mushrooms.

Oh, my God, what's cereal made from?

Oh, my God, you admire that dick. He's a master chef, Lana...

Oh, my God, you crushed the pope?

Oh, my God, you have matured. Lana, I have. Just let me prove it.

Oh, my God! How did I know that? Okay.

Oh, my God! It's just like Carol said the old gypsy woman said!

Oh, my God. Archer, that was

Oh, my God. Do you have proof of this'?

Oh, my God. Ha ha ha.

Oh, my God. Lana I get, she wants to make me jealous...

Oh, my God. Thank you, Sterling.

Oh, my God. That is horrible.

Oh, my God. The tinnitus.

Oh, my God. There's nuts in this? Ugh.

Oh, my God. We've got to do something.

Oh, my God. Wow.

Oh, my God. You just got that.

Oh, my...

Oh, no, not hell, Mr. Archer, this is

Oh, okay, so "our friend was bitten by a snake" is...

Oh, okay, so I guess just me, then.

Oh, okay, so I guess you think this is my fault.

Oh, okay, so the tongues second.

Oh, okay. And as another matter of fact, I am.

Oh, okay. But do get naked. Panties too.

Oh, or a credit card. Yeah, like at roughtrade.net.

Oh, or Spacebot. If you continue to behave threateningly

Oh, please, she's totally there.

Oh, plus, you are just covered in polvo Dorito.

Oh, really?

Oh, really? And why is ? Coming through. Come on, make a hole.

Oh, really? You learn that in med school?

Oh, right, let's see here.

Oh, right, right. Halberdsmen are foot soldiers.

Oh, right.

Oh, right. Absolutely.

Oh, right. Because you have those.

Oh, right. Goddamn it, Ray.

Oh, right. Like pulling teeth with you people.

Oh, right. Okay.

Oh, shit, I forgot there's people in there. Cyril, open the door, idiot.

Oh, shit, right.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shut up. Hey, Friday happy hour, you guys in?

Oh, some wacky new thing the kids are doing called "inventory control."

Oh, Teddy. Ever the scamp.

Oh, thank God.

Oh, that shouldn't be doing that. There we go.

Oh, that's not necessary. Really?

Oh, that's right, he hates robots.

Oh, then I'm using it correctly. No, you're not.

Oh, then where does auberge fit in?

Oh, there's toast? Give me that. But, chef, why?

Oh, uh Then, yeah, biannually.

Oh, we don't shoot you. After mission finish...

Oh, well, then I'll just get my coat.

Oh, well, then what could go wrong? Seriously?

Oh, well, when I was 10, I asked if I could sell Grit door to door...

Oh, what, so now I suppose you're just going to sit there and pout?

Oh, who cares about them? Not Lana.

Oh, who knows with these people? It's one calamity after another.

Oh, yeah, even that little bit's enough to get the engine revved up.

Oh, yeah? Well... Damn, I had something in Arabic for this.

Oh, yes, I remember now.

Oh, you mean my lacrosse career ending because a crazy stalker gut shot me.

Oh, you mean that?

Oh, you're serious?

Oh! I thought he was just your food.

Oh! Son of a bitch.

Oh? Yeah, an actress, of stage and screen.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Bad dog. Bad dog.

Oh. Damn it.

Oh. He's dead.

Oh. Heh.

Oh. I put Cheryl on that.

Oh. I was gonna say, "not quitting."

Oh. I'm doing a special seating for diplomats

Oh. I'm doing this new thing where now it just rings.

Oh. Never mind.

Oh. Oh!

Oh. Ow!

Oh. Talk about tearing you a new one

Oh. That's what you mean by context?

Oh. Then do go ahead and shoot us. Archer.

Oh. These are all Strongly Disagree.

Oh. Uh, promise you won't get mad? Uh, no.

Oh. Well, I hope she makes you happy.

Oh. Well, very nearly dead, $0...

Oh. Well, we gotta jump off the train. We gotta ju

Oh. Yeah, doesn't work there

Oh. Yeah. Get in there, eat them up.

Oh. You mean this rocket launcher? Because I bet it would open the door.

Oh...

Okay

Okay, "snake" is...

Okay, A, he's not a goldfish, and B Please don't berate me.

Okay, all right, that's... All right, come on. Hey, uh, stop it.

Okay, and since certain people around here may not see how brilliant my plan is...

Okay, Barry. Jesus, have some

Okay, buddy, so here's the deal. A, scrooch down.

Okay, but that's gonna be kind of a needle in a

Okay, but you're missing out on all the great things Tangier has to offer.

Okay, bye.

Okay, bye.

Okay, come on, we're out of here. What are you, nuts?

Okay, deal. But I take the map.

Okay, dicknuts, I'm just saying they work hard as hell, and they work cheap.

Okay, either Barry. I need you to find a female coax bus connector.

Okay, first of all Hey, can I hold the fake baby?

Okay, first of all, just shut up.

Okay, give it to him.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, here. Dick nuts.

Okay, here's Junkie Brewster. Let's

Okay, I promise.

Okay, I'll tell Katya to pack a bag and we'll move to Alaska...

Okay, in order, I'll get to that. Yes, no, and it's not a boat, it's a

Okay, Jesus. Oh! Shit.

Okay, Lana, check you later.

Okay, Lana! What is your problem?

Okay, let me get this straight.

Okay, let's get Casteau before he He's gone.

Okay, listen up, people.

Okay, moment of truth, taste test.

Okay, now give me your hand. I can't!

Okay, now I just need to find

Okay, now we can go. You know... Go! Unh!

Okay, okay, I'm pulling over.

Okay, okay. Who's a good boy, huh? Who's a good boy?

Okay, on three.

Okay, rerouting now. ETA, 10 minutes.

Okay, seven, and you dig out the jeep.

Okay, so don't really know what to make of that.

Okay, so I watched the whole thing.

Okay, so maybe I egged you on to eat five orders of it...

Okay, so screw those in.

Okay, so when do we do this?

Okay, so where's the J?

Okay, so, Cyril, better ChapStick it up, buddy.

Okay, so... Boom.

Okay, status report. Mother in there?

Okay, things are looking up.

Okay, we'll go back for her. But not because you said so.

Okay, we're in position.

Okay, what's the word? How we doing?

Okay, yeah, maybe I smoked just a teeny bit too much hashish...

Okay, you dirty ass beaner, that's it.

Okay, you know what? Excuse me. Yes, tell them all about it

Okay! Jesus!

Okay? Yes.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. But I am not spitting in your face.

Okay. Jesus, keep your voice Whoa.

Okay. Later, gator.

Okay. Okay, let me talk to Lana.

Okay. So it's gonna sound like I'm hanging up but...

Okay. Tape, woman, tape.

Okay. What's number one?

Okay. You're abandoning the mission to go home and pout?

Okay' Whereas this one

On as in "on" on.

On as in hot Asian group sex on.

Once would be nice! Mm, no.

One of my Wait, whoa, clomp?

One sec?

One Sterling Archer, two Sterling Archer.

One time, you know, not even on wheels. Ha, ha, ha

One, two, three. Go.

One, we've got about 30 seconds before the door is matchsticks.

One!

Only if they're who screwed me out of my bonus.

Only if you promise you'll quit being such a colossal asshole.

Only like ten people work in this whole goddamn chickenshit outfit.

Ooh, or maybe our tax funded government schools...

Ooh.

Ooh. DeGrasse Tyson sen.

Ooh. Or helmets.

Ooh. Sterling Archer Troy.

Ooh. Then you're in for a treat.

Oops.

Oops.

Opportunity to apologize for that racial slur.

Or a "Pam, if your pig, Leon, wins a ribbon at the county fair...

Or a herd of Quebecker whores? I wouldn't say "herd."

Or a lot. You said I could have it.

Or a wolf in sheep's clothing?

Or about you being carsick?

Or B me too hard

Or he'd release a diss track

Or just at the, Whatever, junctions.

Or one of the akistans. I forget which one.

Or one of the other tricky animals?

Or preferably his, but somebody's!

Or semi

Or that effeminate yet somehow condescending tone?

Or the 11 more I'm gonna drink. Come on, he's an independent trucker.

Or the fact that they've all got Peppercorns, Lana.

Or they are confused, verging on angry.

Or What is it?

Or whomever.

Or you, Lana Litterbug?

Our probable cause is the border.

Out of your ears.

Out.

Overcompensating.

Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

Ow! Apologize to my tinnitus

Ow! Jesus! Ha!

Ow! Oh, for shit sake already. Ha, ha!

Ow! What is wrong with you? Well, for one thing, tinnitus...

Ow.

Pacman Jones! Oh.

Paging Dr. Cooper.

Pam told me about a little girl who drowned trying to save a puppy.

Pam, the important thing is that I'm happy. Try not to overthink it.

Pam, the word "disaster" implies it's something that actually matters.

Pam, they are on

Pam, what the hell did you ? Whah!

Pam, you better not be making pornos.

Pam!

Pam! Get down!

Pam! What?!

Pam? Yes?

Pam.

Pam. What?

Par“!

Penultimate.

Phrasing, boom.

Phrasing, boom. Boom.

Pick one.

Picture it all sort of pan Asian mod and the carpet just a sea of white.

Pink Panther is on.

Plan. On going over the menu, yes.

Please don't make me, and B...

Please, here.

Please, if you knew mine.

Please, if you really cared, you'd resign.

Please, with those idiot voicemails?

Please.

Plus most of it is from charging poor saps for that freaking undercoating

Plus, he can't aim for shit, he's pulling everything to the right.

Plus, he's a whoremonger.

Plus, I already bought three pantsuits. I'll think about it.

Plus, I'm a quick learner.

Plus, I'm an amazing driver. Plus, I almost never get sick.

Plus, when I'm taking out the old bones, I take tons of pictures with my phone.

Police scanner? Cyril.

Pounding two $300 bottles of Glengoolie fricking Blue?

Preapproved by whom? Oh, now you're on my side.

Predator only hunts in tropical jungles.

Pretty nuts. Said your mom! Ha, ha.

Probably all this carbon dioxide.

Probably another one of her so called mystery fires.

Probably looks a little something like this? No?

Probably not a bad idea to get him tested..

Probably would have been if I had told him about it.

Protect him from what?

PS, and as for who Wait, hang on.

Psych.

Punk ass bitches.

Put the stupid mirror back. He's not Ah!

Question one, "Does employee cooperate with others and..."

Randy did it. Whoa, whoa. First of all, no, I didn't...

**** prevention class...

Rat Patrol.

Ray, back me up here. Luke Troy, yes or no, gayest dude ever?

Ray, back pocket down there, flask.

Ray?

Ray? Time's kind of a factor here, so...

Ray? What is that? What are you doing?

Ray. Damn it, on bionic legs.

Ray's gonna be a cyborg over my dead body!

Reach around?

Really doubt I'm going to heaven.

Really wish I hadn't focused so heavily on the Romansh.

Really? And you're in Schenectady again!

Really? Lana, this is me we're talking about.

Really? Seriously?

Really? With a bow.

Really? Yes, really.

Really? You can extract yourself, mister.

Really? You learn that in med school?

Relax, it's North Korea.

Remember Spacebot? Guys?

Remember that training mission in the DR?

Remember? No!

Remind me not to piss you off.

Remind yourself.

Reminds me of the head mechanic at my dealership in Yonkers.

Republican was shot in a gunfight with some illegals.

Right away, chef.

Right before I was thrown clear of the vehicle, almost exactly 100 linear feet

Right, because an idiot wouldn't wipe his ass with our only map.

Right, yes, okay, so, I know it doesn't look like much now...

Right? First of all, I'm not

Right? Huh?

Right? Sorry, a cobra bit my taint.

Right? Wait, why were you mad?

Right? When Barry gets back, she'll realize what a dick he is...

Robot legs.

Rodney, open this door. Give me that weapon.

Rodney, you mind your own dicky beeswax.

Rodney. Thank you, asshole.

Rome!

Ron Cadillac...

Ron, compensate!

Ron, let me out of the goddamn trunk!

Ron, look, I know we accidentally bonded a little...

Ron, look.

Ron, seriously, at some point I'm gonna have to take a shit, so

Ron, this isn't a car dealership, it's The same principle.

Ron, who hasn't been complaining about not getting his money?

Ron! What?

Ron! What?

Ron! What? I'm serious!

Ron! What?!

Ron?

Ron? Starting with C.W. McCall Girl over there.

Ron.

Ron. At least kneecap the sons of bitches.

Ron. Seriously, Ron, why aren't you at work?

Safire in the hole, Lana. It's a

Said your mom, boom. Ha.

Sarcastically. Oh, because you could die.

Says who, the manager? Why would he lie?

Schenectady?

Scholarship to Johns Hopkins. Hmm.

Scream into a speakerphone much?

Screw that. Shoot these degenerate pricks.

SEAL Team 6 is like the Girl Scouts. Exactly.

Second of all, the venom's not there anymore...

Second, I trust Lana completely, especially with regard to Archer.

Section one, team dynamics.

Section three, Organization Skills. Cyril!

See how their legs broke? That's because they didn't use the parachute fall.

See you, buddy.

See? He really doesn't like guns, Lana. He can't stress that enough.

See? I knew you wanted to blow

See? Right there, that's

See? That's why I said scrooch down. Lana, Lana, scrooch down!

See? They just get more and more elaborate...

See'? Another reason I didn't send you.

Seize, please hold. Seize, please hold. Seize, please hold.

Seize. I'm sorry, we have nothing available for the next 10 months.

Seriously, does this never dry?

Seriously, get your shit together.

Seriously, how is that even a genre?

Seriously, I bet your downstairs neighbors hate you.

Seriously, I get y'all are upset, but I think I have a pinched ner

Seriously, I probably did more harm than good.

Seriously, Mitzi, how hard is that?

Seriously, not that it's gonna matter in 30 seconds...

Seriously?

Seriously?

Seriously. Lana.

Seriously. No wonder you're gay.

Servant, call an ambulance. Yes, sir, right away, sir.

Seven thirty. We just might make it. Now, you sure he's gonna be out there?

She ? What'd you do this time?

She asked, regretfully, remembering that just moments earlier...

She jammed a gun in your

She means Randy. Can I borrow you?

She said that? Oh, my God, that phony prospectus must have worked.

She said that'? I mean...

She said, oversimplifyingly. Wha ?

She slapped you so hard, you died.

She'd probably ruin the wedding.

She'd rather have sex with you.

She'll be fine. She's got Oh.

She's gonna start bringing them in in convoys.

She's in command

She's not fine. She's at least got a concussion.

She's not.

She's screaming at him to get it up.

She's who we're after.

Shit breath, slobbering ass mutt.

Shit stacks. ...halberds.

Shit, I had a pun about flares.

Shit, she must be her daughter.

Shit. She's wondering why you left.

Shittily. Two for 12 at that distance? Ugh.

Shooting me's not gonna change the unbeatableness of their rug prices, Lana.

Should have never taken him to see The Wiz.

Should have seen that coming.

Should I get another mirror? But, like, a much, much smaller one?

Should you be flaming in here? You know...

Shut up

Shut up, because first of all...

Shut up, it went down wrong. Yeah, said your...

Shut up. And with all due respect, Your Holiness, it's the Swiss Guard.

Shut up. Common enemy.

Shut up. My best friend, Mother...

Shut up. Okay, then that'll have to do. So make a tape or whatever, and

Shut up. Preapproved by whom?

Silence!

Since I find repetitive behavior so calming!

Since the new intelligence, Mother, from Ray about the mission.

Since when is babysitting Archer my jo ? Oh, my God, that's exactly my job.

Since when?

Since when? Since None of your beeswax and

Since you're too pussy to call for an extraction...

Since, um, he slept with my girlfriend.

Sir, please, let's have dessert and then No time.

Six million bucks...

Six, yeah, got it.

Smashing each other with cop cars and shit...

So are you gonna open the damn door? As soon as you give me that weapon.

So as much as I'd like to, I don't think now's an optimal time for that.

So can I at least assume there will be a wine pairing?

So come on, let's go already

So creepy. Look, I've got goose bumps.

So do you think there's 30 stories' worth of towels in here?

So do you. Oh.

So equally sexy?

So even though all you guys have bats and pipes and

So guess we're driving through the desert to a backup extraction point?

So I would argue With a fence post?

So if there is a heaven

So if there's any way to get to one, a medevac chopper wouldn't kill him.

So if you don't mind hopping out of those pope jamas

So if you'll excuse me, Mother, I have to go clear the name of an American hero.

So instead of insulting the ambassador, whom we're here to protect

So is that a compliment, or...?

So is this train, asshole!

So it holds a finite number of bullets.

So it just spontaneously combusted?

So it'll take six hours to get home. If we don't get rousted by the bulls.

So just a quick heads up. Miss Archer and Lana are still in the vault.

So just so I'm clear, instead of assessing the security needs for tonight...

So just so I'm clear, you expect me to believe...

So listen, Katya asked me to call you.

So listen... No, you listen and then shut up.

So mostly, I'm sorry for...

So my dick's gonna fall off?

So my first command, as agent in command...

So no screwups.

So not only do I have to create a meal out of yogurt and a goddamn sheep's head...

So not Ray and not me, which leaves...

So now if you'll excuse me...

SO pretty Hello?

So promise me you'll never quit again.

So see me after, I've got everyone paired off.

So share the goddamn Doritos!

So she goes by my personal professional recommendations.

So since we're keeping score for bonus purposes, Lana.

So tel! Archer I'm coming for him. Phrasing, boom, and both Barrys out.

So that. Oh.

So that's a no on the wine pairing?

So the mission, going as planned?

So the money is...

So the most important thing is for you to stay calm.

So we grab a Caddy and drive in style

So whenever my assistants get here. What's up, spaghetti legs?

So where did they all go? And how?

So where in Montreal exactly? Um..

So while you ladies discuss the pros and cons of a clear coat

So why are these damn peer reviews so hard?

So why are you scared of church stuff?

So why didn't you go before we left? Not now, in the future.

So you aced the test and beat up a Nazi, a nerd and queen of the robots'?

So you got an ETA on when you might possibly be ready to help?

So you lied to her about being on the space station because ?

So you two were in a relationship.

So, hey, can I squeeze in a confession?

So, hey, how you doing on the kofta?

So, hey, so, yeah, did you say light brown with darker whateveral bands?

So, Rodney

So, uh, we revised our business model.

So, what do you care if it's in pesos?

So, what say we grab this Kazak guy and get out of this flyblown shithole?

So, yeah, these exact same jeeps...

So, yeah. Krieger's helping Barry finish his rocket ship.

So, yes, you are exactly the idiot who got us stuck.

So? He asked, equally incredulously.

So? He asked, incredulously.

So? Lana, the assassination plot is being hatched by the Swiss Guard.

So? So, what if all that stuff...

So? We've got 95 grand.

So? You get like six freebies. No, you don't!

So... So it's an eight hour flight...

So...?

So...? And that's not sarcastic incredulity.

Somehow, this is all your fault.

Something about a faction of the Swiss Guard

Sometimes I think I should just run away.

Somewhat disagree? Somewhat shut up.

Son of a Fat Mike!

Sorry

Sorry about that, fur face.

Sorry about the chocolate, I didn't know you were allergic or Whatever.

Sorry I accused you of It's okay.

Sorry, buddy, I didn't mean that. I I did.

Sorry, honey. Yeah, we'll bring you a present.

Sorry, I know that hurt.

Sorry, jeez.

Sorry, that was inappropriate.

Sorry, that's just a sympathy boner.

Sorry, that's terrible to hear that right before you

Sorry. And then get ahold of your goddamn beer can.

Sorry. I know you had your heart set on that hovercraft ride.

Sorry. Oh, don't be. It is a chickenshit outfit.

Sorry. What?

Soto drive people away, basically. Those people.

Sounds like a plan, James Mason.

Speaking of secret agent, at some point

Speaking of, I bet a Mexican would do this for a buck an hour.

Speaking of...

Speaking.

Starving hysterical naked

Status report. Terrible.

Sterile test conditions, anyway. But I can promise she didn't cheat.

Sterling Archer, age 18.

Sterling is stranded at the Montreal Casino with his pockets turned out and

Sterling, I'm your real father.

Sterling, please!

Sterling! Oh. So, anyway, Lana quit and

Sterling.

Still pretty close.

Still talking about indulgences.

Still, though, it doesn't

Stop saying no. No, Archer. No.

Stop the car. I'm serious.

Stopping the car, buddies.

Strongly agree!

Strongly agree. And from where?

Stuffing him full of street kebabs'?

Suck so hard! Aah!

Sucks, right? I mean, that's not even remotely fair.

Suit yourself. But trust me, you are gonna want a melon baller.

Super Are you calling the airport again?

Suppressing fire extinguisher!

Sure you will.

Sure, um... Mitzi. My name is not Mitzi. Walk in. Now.

Surely that's enough for what I now suspect was a blind camel.

Swear to God, you people make me wanna pump nerve gas through the vents.

Swear to God.

Swift and severe. The punishment will be swift and severe.

Tail. Thanks, Brett Somers. Yes, a tail.

Take it or leave it, dude.

Take the wheel and maintain speed.

Talk to Pam today, because somehow and seemingly impossibly soon...

Tease!

Tell him, Chi.

Tell Randy, as his final act before I walk back into the kitchen...

Tell that to my tavé kosi...

Ten eighty. We got a 10 80.

Than...'? Than I Was.

Thank you Sorry, what was your name again?

Thank you, chef. The dolma, the rakia.

Thank you, doctor, we will.

Thank you, doctor. Don't thank me.

Thank you, Trudy.

Thank you! Hoo hoo.

Thank you.

Thank you. Labor of love.

Thank you. Seriously, what am I, hourly?

Thank you. So when I said this is Opposite World

Thank you. They're beautiful.

Thanks to one petty local politician.

Thanks, thaws And also for coyote, it turns out.

Thanks.

Thanks. That was actually pretty impressive.

Thanks. The memory of your bare ass will bring me comfort and warmth...

That Wait. What? Cyril, I watched for more than a second.

That a real you'll think about it'?

That break room is disgusting

That can't possibly be your only regret

That crazy son of a Come on!

That is inadvisable at this time. You know, if I asked it nicely.

That is so unfair.

That is such a relief, I was worried they turned you against me.

That makes it seem like he's a murderer who's also a child.

That makes you gay for me? Well, I don't really like that word.

That ought to do it.

That phone call was Luke!

That says you need a rocket launcher?

That shitbag. What're you talking about? Luke's awesome.

That was '45, though. That didn't hurt the war effort.

That was more of a rhetorical

That was my crew. And, kiddo, we would boost anything on wheels

That will do, thank you.

That you obviously didn't get into?

That... That could be anybody.

That'll do wonders for U.S. Albanian relations.

That'll hold way more Hispanics and lawnmowers.

That's a made up word. They're all made up.

That's actually fairly impressive. You have no idea. With that city council?

That's all behind me. I'm almost completely legit now.

That's because the Flatows think they live under a fricking AT AT.

That's biennial.

That's even creepier.

That's great, Mother, keep those periodic updates coming.

That's Heart of Pine

That's how Lana and I started dating.

That's how Mother and Lana wound up locked in the vault.

That's how Woodhouse looks when he's asleep.

That's impossible.

That's me talking to Barry. Shh.

That's my fish. His name's Jermaine.

That's not actually good news, is it?

That's not the A.C., it's the heat.

That's not the real number for reservations.

That's not Why I'm dating Cyril again.

That's pretty specific for a hypothetical.

That's still way more than you should be Just shut up and“ Oh.

That's what all the space nerds up here kept saying.

That's what makes it so noble!

That's what she was screaming at you.

That's what you heard? Wow, your ears are even worse than mine.

That's why I can never stay mad at him.

That's why you stormed off with no GPS, gun, phone, or life saving water.

The Whatever idiot invented those slippery ass bowls.

The ? Goddamn it, Krieger!

The alkaloids.

The bad guys would obviously bring a geiger counter.

The bad news is if this vague threat is gunmen...

The bad news is... Oh, right.

The bigger danger is neuro and cardiotoxins...

The bigger question is, if they really are the Swiss Guards.

The Broadway show or the movie?

The camorra is like your Mafia, like

The danger there is cytotoxins, which can cause severe necrosis.

The doohickey says he's about 30 minutes away.

The elevator! Out of order.

The elevator's broken. No shit.

The fact we're up against at least four highly trained North Korean agents?

The first part. Hospital is probably a good idea.

The hovercraft. Whatever. Why aren't you people on it?

The human body's basically a potato clock.

The important thing is what are you doing tonight?

The ISIS Field Agent Aptitude Battery?

The lambs are screaming.

The last time I saw it was on the bar in the Athens airport, but

The least I can do. It's like back pay for all the years they lost.

The most recruited prep school lacrosse player in America

The nation state equivalent of the short bus.

The number you have dialed has been disconnected...

The only threat around here is Dying of thirst, apparently.

The only way to make him as crazy as he makes you, is to...

The other shit bag in my life.

The part that calls for spy craft. Come on, we're posing as newlyweds

The plane he escaped in crashed in Vermont

The point is, and it might be a kind of shitty plan...

The puppy drowned too.

The stupid Border Patrol shot me twice, and I could really use a medevac chopper.

The thermostat's becoming sentient.

The ultimate's doing it on top of a tranqed up tiger.

The uranium, killing my fellow agents..

The voice mailbox of...

The what?

The what? Butterfly effect

The what? Guy Owen? Jesus, Ron, read a book.

The what? The"

The wine. You drugged the wine?

Then bleep *******, since Darlene won't let me say that.

Then bring me the file I asked for.

Then Daddy made me take a big old bite out of its heart.

Then eating a piece...

Then give this to who's its. I will. I will give this to who's its.

Then go answer the goddamn phone.

Then how...?

Then I don't want what he is having.

Then passing out on the bed, totally naked, for a...

Then shut your fist hole and show Miss Archer how I did on the IFAAB.

Then there's another mole, or a double agent...

Then upload the audio to the mainframe.

Then we got shit housed on mama Juana.

Then who was it?

Then why don't we leave them both here until they come to.

Then why don't you go help Mincent Price with the

Then why is it so cold?

Then you are not gonna like my Romansh.

Then you know Allen Ginsberg, author of the poem "Howl."

Then, uh, maybe the duck knew there was a mole. Huh?

Then, yes.

There it is.

There was a threat of some sort, it's all rather vague...

There you go, Conway.

There you go, Conway.

There's a Cardinal Core/Ii on Line 1 for you.

There's another seven!

There's dating you. Actually no, that was...

There's gonna be a line at your wake, so shut your poutine hole

There's kind of a lot of blood down there. Said your mom.

There's no penicillin in this. Good, because I'm allergic.

There's no point spying on Lana. I trust her completely.

There's still 95 grand in the bag. And if what's his name...

There's, uh

They Wait. What?

They always hit me between Schenectady and Albany.

They can make a problem with my bioelectronics.

They do.

They each fired six. How did you count them?

They kind of already are. There's only, like, two of them.

They were people, but then they got splashed with toxic waste.

They will be. Raves make everybody horny.

They'll kill us. Uh uh. Empty.

They're the They're the same thing.

They're the same thing. No, biannual means every two years.

They're the same. Lana, be honest with yourself.

Think I might have grabbed the tail of the dragon here.

Thinking about how much I hate it that Mother married you.

This instant.

This is crazy, how could Luke be Gay?

This is exactly what I'm talking about, with the stress.

This is what he does.

This is what I'm talking about. Ron.

This ISIS camera, yes? Uh...

This man is barely clinging to life, Woman. Get ahold of yourself.

This means nothing.

This morning? Hm?

This mustache on a penis is Rodney.

This was my grandfather's, you ass. I'll buy you another one.

Those are .357 Ruger Sixes.

Those documents are top secret.

Three hundred. Oh, for Eight hundred.

Thricely redundant. Give me those

Thwarting an assassination attempt on the pope, using you as a decoy.

To be a field agent.

To be unconscious in a bathroom without being sexually assaulted by ?

To get in here he'd need One RPG 7 launcher...

To lure a black market arms dealer into the open..

To lure them closer. Well, it worked.

To our future together. Especially not Cyril.

To poison. What?

To repair your rocket, I use Sterling, and once again break his heart, so

To show the cardinals he was trying to prevent it...

To the Vatican? You think all those Catholic priests wouldn't peg him...

To use as a signal? Yeah, maybe.

To who, the creepy old Moroccan dude? Or those Dutch high school girls?

Told him when he bought it.

Told him when he bought it.

Told you it was the viscous coupling.

Tonight has to go perfectly because it is wall to wall VIP's out there.

Total, it's more like, holy shit, 19.

Trace Sterling's phone and scramble every available field agent

Truck, whatever! Nor is it a truck. It's a

Try and focus on a distant landmark, like... Ah!

Twice on the same day.

Two point eight. Because it's not promoted properly.

Two, you're never gonna break that win

Two? Thought I ordered three.

Ugh, how can you not hate those?

Ugh, it's like my heart's being gripped by the icy fingers...

Ugh! Driver. Driver! Driver!

Ugh! Now nobody is picking up!

Ugh! Whichever of carbon's many oxides. Just let me out.

Ugh. Although it couldn't hurt.

Ugh. Blood pressure?

Ugh. But wait, why did Corelli hire ISIS to prevent the assassination?

Ugh. God, gross. There's moose in this? Not that kind of moose.

Ugh. I mean, I assume.

Ugh. I thought you hated dogs. I love dogs, Lana.

Ugh. I wish. I know. Soon.

Ugh. Like the infamous luau incident?

Ugh. My God, if Malory ever hears about this

Ugh. No wonder Morocco Mole was so inept. He never got any damn sleep.

Ugh. No. Uh, bit off my feed, I'm afraid.

Ugh. Oh, man.

Ugh. Okay, here's your fur coat from the world's farthest away cold storage.

Ugh. Okay, try not to ruin it this time.

Ugh. So were you whining about Lana being an idiot'?

Ugh. So, hey, I know we kid around a lot, but I think you might have dog cancer.

Ugh. Thank God I don't have to worry about anything like that with Ron.

Ugh. That's what you get for eating elk.

Ugh. The phone. Give me.

Ugh. What's lame, Archer?

Uh Because I'm not a giant pussy?

Uh Never mind, I got it

Uh Twin Oaks. You like that?

Uh Yes, it is.

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh huh. So two J? No. Not two years, ass.

Uh huh. Then what, they kill me? No. Shut up, that's the awesome part.

Uh huh. Uh huh.

Uh uh. No. Yes, Ron

Uh, accidentally? Just drive. There, take that left.

Uh, also a good leader is never sarcastic.

Uh, besides Cyril's one? Hey.

Uh, Cyril? Which, you know, lame.

Uh, duh.

Uh, duh. Huh?

Uh, good morning. Don't "g'morning" me.

Uh, he can, according to his name tag.

Uh, hey, how you doing, buddy? I'll be better when you shoot him.

Uh, I mean, uh, please, allow me.

Uh, meaning odd or strange?

Uh, never mind.

Uh, no. Because if you will recall...

Uh, no. He's They're both good.

Uh, our overburdened health care system?

Uh, remind me, Pam, when did Ms. Archer say she wanted us to shred this crap?

Uh, rugs? Okay.

Uh, should you be smoking in here?

Uh, that.

Uh, the food's splattered all over the wall and floor...

Uh, there is no mole and faked it how?

Uh, this new place called Italy?

Uh, well, kind of slowly, at first.

Uh, what are you doing? What is that? Microfilm.

Uh, yeah, according to the doohickey, it says Archer's in that direction.

Uh, yeah, tap and trace on the Cuban embassy.

Uh...

Uh... Come on, for some haggard Mexican?

Uh... Not really.

Uh... Ow! Ha ha ha!

Uh... There, just like The Defiant Ones.

Uh... Tuesday night?

Uhn. Okay, okay, okay.

Um, apparently. Ugh! This is so unfair.

Um, your mike's hot. I know.

Um... Oh. Oh, my God, chlamydia.

Um... What are you doing?

Um... What? Why is there a giant mirror on the ?

Under“ ...wear..

Unh! Help!

Unhealthy. No, Ron, I don't have to admit that, because

Unless he got flung up into the blades somehow.

Unless...

Unlike some people. Uh, what's that?

Until one day, Pm out getting meatball subs for the crew, and boom..

Until Other Barry just couldn't stand it anymore.

Urn, if I could I'd like to take this

Vehicular hermaphrodite? Shut up.

Ventral bands on Wait, why?

Visiting Baltimore for the weekend...

Wait a Oh, my God, holy shit!

Wait a minute, hang on.

Wait a minute. Yeah, that lemur is hosed.

Wait a minute. Yeah, where's Carol?

Wait until they're right beside us, then swerve into them.

Wait, a dog ate a tourist? What? That was ambiguously worded.

Wait, all of them? Damn it, man, I said screw.

Wait, and who was in the plane? Huh?

Wait, does that even hurt your hands? The only thing that hurts is my heart.

Wait, ha, ha. What? Uh, yeah. Hang on, you're breaking up.

Wait, hang on, are you wearing Kevlar?

Wait, how did you ? Lana, Mexico gets the news.

Wait, how did you know I was staying ?

Wait, never?

Wait, no, get it out of your head.

Wait, no! I had the right of way!

Wait, please. Lana, come on. You can't deny we're attracted to each other.

Wait, really?

Wait, seriously? Yes, Archer. My head totally kills.

Wait, so what did Malory say exactly?

Wait, then all I need is the power unit...

Wait, wait, wait. Shut up. What? What are you talking about?

Wait, was that even Woodhouse? Nope.

Wait, What ? No, no, no!

Wait, what are you talking about?

Wait, what were the first two?

Wait, What were you doing in there? Nothing. But don't go in there.

Wait, where? Gotta be somewhere in there.

Wait, which is where?

Wait, whose daughter?

Wait, you think that's a good idea?

Wait. I mean, escalate shutting up.

Wait. No, the threat was a hoax. A what?

Wait. What? Yeah.

Walk into any one of my six dealerships

Want me to prep the 'shrooms? No, you do the aubergines.

Want some?

Was that ambiguous? Why are you antagonizing him?

Was your mother is, so can you please quit clicking around?

Way to go, Luke! Uh...

We And MRSA.

We absolutely do not call it the old switcheroo.

We are not breaking into the zoo to steal tiger tranquilizers.

We are turning Moreno over to the Border Patrol and taking Lana to a hospital.

We believe a faction of the Swiss Guard will

We call it the old switcheroo.

We can get a suite and totally spy on Mr. Archer and

We can see if he's into all that freaky gender reversal stuff.

We can signal to somebody or Like who, a blimp captain?

We can take each other's names. I'd be

We can't drive around Texas. What about the Border Patrol?

We can't make it.

We deal with you soon enough

We did.

We go to the hospital now! You two, get your ass off the car!

We gotta catch him. But then what?

We have an embassy to close.

We just jumped on the train!

We knew you would be there, Sterling.

We knew your strengths, and we also knew

We look like The Ballad of the Flim Flam Man.

We may have sort of a situation. And what sort would that be?

We passed the border an hour ago!

We should take some to the tigers.

We will. And sepsis.

We'd already be dead if they weren't in disturbingly sexy high heels.

We'll die out here.

We'll never make it in time in this crappy car.

We'll see what your mother has to say about it.

We'll tell him his money's out in the desert covered with shit.

We're Your Holiness, do you speak English?

We're 10 50! We're

We're 20 miles away from our last call in.

We're almost done, if somebody can find their last beer.

We're in a crazy parallel universe where bonuses are based on merit...

We're not done with item five.

We're not gonna make it to the backup extraction point...

We're supposed to stop the North Koreans from buying part of a nuclear bomb...

We've got the Albanian ambassador and all his little diplomat buddies.

Well what?

Well, A, the El Camino is not a car.

Well, actually I just got a new El Camino, so Oh, so you're all set.

Well, actually, no, I was, but then I thought, white carpet?

Well, after you get some free penicillin...

Well, anybody with his dental records. What?

Well, apparently I took a nap.

Well, before I kill him, and you, just get us to the port.

Well, before, maybe, but I really think I've changed, you know...

Well, besides Lana ditching me. For what, an Entmoot?

Well, but also emotional violence.

Well, calling the airport's not gonna help.

Well, dying No, he's not!

Well, except Ms. Archer.

Well, figuratively. if it was literally...

Well, figuratively. Literally!

Well, finally.

Well, for one thing, I'm pretty drunk.

Well, for starters, some of us aren't people.

Well, goody, you win cobra knowing.

Well, goody, you win space camp.

Well, guess what, me neither.

Well, have you found Sterling?

Well, here's some news, now this is happening.

Well, his phone's in this house.

Well, how about this?

Well, how the hell was I supposed to know?

Well, I didn't get you into this, mister. You got yourself into this.

Well, I know a cure for that.

Well, I said I might meet some people at this thing downtown...

Well, I was gonna say Tokarevs and Shpagin 41 submachine guns...

Well, I will if you bring it here, Kazak. I can't throw it if it's in your mouth.

Well, I'd be lying if I said I cared.

Well, I'm not, so please, don't After you passed out...

Well, I'm sorry, but if we let them out, then, boom, they scatter.

Well, I'm sure there's a lesson in there somewhere, but Ow!

Well, I'm very strong and also very drunk.

Well, I've swept the entire place for explosives...

Well, if that ain't a big load of shit. Turns out he's some kind of spook.

Well, if you were confused, verging on angry, before

Well, if you're not, you can just not bother coming home at all.

Well, ISIS has a certain reputation.

Well, it was this or the Vespas.

Well, it's kind of a long story.

Well, Katya, you say that...

Well, Lana's destroying the toilet.

Well, maybe for regular people.

Well, no, aren't Terminators asexual?

Well, no, obviously it's not heaven. No, it's a

Well, nobody now, Wendy Wasteful. So you can buy my first couple of rounds.

Well, not after you tell her you stole a Sherman tank, Master P.

Well, now, hang on a second.

Well, obviously they do make the rules. That's why it's come to this.

Well, obviously we are, because I just said "item six."

Well, obviously. I mean

Well, obviously. I was awesome, but I

Well, one of your many, many weaknesses.

Well, people in hell want ice water. Ray. What is your problem?

Well, Pigley 3, that would certainly explain the glowing.

Well, put a tourniquet on me.

Well, she's the one who stormed off into the desert...

Well, since, thanks to you, I didn't do the former, now we're doing the latter.

Well, sorry, I didn't invent English. It's more like...

Well, sorry, I don't have your language nerd skills.

Well, technically, she's right, huh? Is she right?

Well, that's not good. Wait, seriously?

Well, that's still no excuse for poor service. Wow.

Well, the good news is we don't have to worry about these alligators.

Well, then can I go home? Because it is hot as balls up in here.

Well, then maybe instead of doing my job, I'll go hang out in Vermont...

Well, there goes my master plan.

Well, there would be an election. Right. With the smudge pot.

Well, there's a

Well, there's you and also that.

Well, these ribs sure as hell are. Oh, my God, right?

Well, think about it. You've got time.

Well, this is a fricking disaster. I know.

Well, this is the opposite of help!

Well, three, so

Well, wait, hang on. Because unless I'm hallucinating...

Well, we didn't have to fight for a cab.

Well, we'll never know.

Well, we've got all day. Nobody's gonna pick us up.

Well, whatever, look No, you look.

Well, whatever.

Well, who gives a shit, Lana? He's, like, the Pelé of, let me finish, fetch.

Well, whose fault is that?

Well, why would they? Because that's exactly their job.

Well, you can forget about ISIS working for the State Department, ever.

Well, you can forget about the huge decision I made...

Well, you know, I hate to say this, but obviously he met someone else.

Well, you know, I mean, you two, all alone in the honeymoon suite.

Well, you say that.

Well, you say that...

Well, you say that...

Well, you seem to be feeling better.

Well, you would know.

Well, you're not using the map!

Well? He filled them out to get...

Well? Then what? I suppose next you'll tell me...

Well? Uh, hang on.

Well? Well what?

Well? Well, who was he'?

Well? What did he say?

Well...

Well...

Well... Pretty close.

Well... Well, what?

Were those gunshots?

Wh ? Last warning!

Wh ? No, that'll just make you people look worse.

Wh ? Wait, what happ ? Goddamn it.

Wha ? Come on, walk and talk.

Wha ? For a few lousy bullets? Well, one, uh, they are excellent bullets.

Wha ? Is this about the carriage ride?

Wha ? Jesus, dude, I'm not gay.

Wha ? No. Jesus, what kind of..

Wha ? Not Little Italy, "ltaly" Italy.

Wha ? Out. Just checking. God.

Wha ? What is Wrong with you'?

Wha J? Give me that.

Wha J? NO!

What ? Malory.

What a surprise. Speaking of...

What about my crew?

What about the racial profiling, huh? Whatever happened to the probable cause?

What are they gonna live on if you're eaten by tranny bikers?

What are they, like, the Mafia? Ha, ha, ha.

What are we supposed to do if Kazak doesn't wanna come with us?

What are you Let's go, bitches! Tiger tranqs!

What are you ? That's not Moreno.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? What are you doing?

What are you doing? You almost killed Lana.

What boat? What "what boat"? The "boat" boat.

What could have happened to him? Uh...

What could possibly go...?

What do you ? On as in how on?

What do you know about cobras?

What do you mean, "Way to go"? Which you clearly said sarcastically.

What do you mean, no? I basically own you.

What do you think he said, dick nuts? Pay attention to the fricking context.

What does ? Half the time I don't even know what you're talking about.

What else could she possibly mean?

What else?

What happened to your idiot voice mail?

What if Barry wasn't coming back?

What in God's name was that about?

What in the ? Why aren't you people on the Way to the airport?

What in the hell is...? Well, you know what they say.

What in the hell?

What is he J? Hey, that's ISIS property!

What is this, Opposite World?

What is this, Spain I mean the '30s?

What is this, Spain?

What is wrong with you people?

What makes you think I need another field agent?

What moment? What are you ?

What record?

What the ?

What the ?

What the ? Is that a needle? Ha, ha.

What the ? Pam, what did he say'?

What the hell is a C.H.U.D

What the hell is this bullshit?

What the hell kind of plan is this?

What the shit was that? A camel.

What the shit was that? Ugh.

What the shit?

What the shit?

What the shit? Ron!

What the shit? Speaking of unstable, that guy is a powder keg.

What the shit? What? You said be convincing.

What was it we used to call you?

What was that all about?

What was that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of your wrongness.

What was that'? Nothing.

What was that'? Phrasing.

What will make me feel better is to get out of shit reeking Tangier...

What, are you out of bullets?

What, did my mother send you?

What, I should use a plastic bag? Or this new thing called the bank.

What, Lana? It's none of those things

What, no, I bet he faked his own death so he can expose the mole.

What, so you're crushed between the ?

What, the environment?

What, the salmonella dripping all over my desk?

What, this? Yes.

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? Boom!

What? Cyril, since what, Monday, I've had nothing but ouzo and lamb.

What? Dude, assimilate.

What? God, what kind of person do you think I am?

What? I just don't wanna step on your toes!

What? I knew it. Where is he?

What? I said I needed a thousand.

What? I'm sorry.

What? No, alcohol's a vasodilator.

What? No, I Ha!

What? No, no, no, Mother, this isn't a voice mail.

What? No, no, no.

What? No, no, no. Archer, don't.

What? No, no, no. I mean "yok, yok."

What? No, you idiot, your spoon cooker.

What? No, you know, just

What? No.

What? No. Actually, Archer's alone.

What? No. Not that Gurpgork.

What? No. We're doing surveillance.

What? Nothing, I'm just curious

What? Nothing. Here, have mine.

What? Nothing. I'm just a hologram.

What? Oh, my

What? Oh, my God, was I talking?

What? Pam'?

What? That's good, right?

What? Unh!

What? Wait, how'd we get to another woman?

What? Wait, so now we're paying people to blow up oil pipelines?

What? Wait, why would ? Ron?

What? What about all that just now? All what just now?

What? While you request "Free Bird"?

What? You say you want clear coat.

What?!

What?! Pam!

What're you doing? I'll tell you what I'm not doing.

What's a female Whatever look like?

What's a female Whatever look like?

What's going on? Did you get Kazak? Are you on the boat yet?

What's in the suitcase, Ron?

What's next, Mr. Gower slaps me deaf?

What's not obvious, Mother, is why my best friend...

What's that?

What's that? Good thing you work at a spy agency...

What's that? Nothing. What?

What's the signal strength on Archer's cellphone?

What's the thing, Ron?

What's this even written on? A bar bill, and just do it.

What's Wrong with you? Give me that.

What's your problem? Besides that fricking air raid siren?

Whatever it is, they can handle it. They can't even handle a simple luau.

Whatever unspeakable thing you're doing back there can wait.

Whatever, the Rat Patrol drove through deeper sand...

When did it start going off? I don't know, like, before the muezzin...

When Ron said we were going on a cruise, I almost vomited blood.

When you get home, you're going to have some new ground rules.

Whenever. We'll be here. One way or the other.

Where are we supposed to eat lunch if you close the break room?

Where the hell are we?

Where? Uh, this new place called here?

Where's the pope?

Wherever you'd like.

Whew. I realize that.

Which I don't have time to teach you Why would you want to?

Which is Espanol for people smuggler.

Which is why I thought it was weird you only ever carried two magazines.

Which is why Ron Cadillac is opting out.

Which is why you hated him...

Which is why, now, they use MP5s. Oh.

Which is why, where's the gear bag with all of our automatic weapons?

Which Kennedy? Because if it's Teddy, he still owes me for a urinal so...

Which no one asked you for anyway.

Which put me over my deductible, so the rest of the year all my doctor visits...

Which reminds me, Grover Cleveland called, he wants his watch back.

Which she won't. Because, Pam... What?

Which somebody could make go away with a snap of her bony fingers!

Which we protect from terrorists?

Which will start right after I go murder your fellow agents.

Which would be weird. Your bonus?

Which you realize are just ceremonial.

Which you won't, because no one will?

Which, again, was nothing.

Which, by the way, pope, on the gay thing

Which, get in, before you blow our cover, any more than you already have...

Which, paging Dr. D.T. McShakyhands.

Which, speaking of, uh Ron.

Which, to belabor the point, you failed.

While we sit here dying of thirst.

Who am I, Lewis and/or Clark? Archer.

Who am I, William Safire?

Who are you, Van Cliburn? Knock off the tickling and work that shit

Who cares? Pfft. They're in the Dumpster. Ew.

Who did that?

Who hits you? The, uh... Those guys.

Who just had a lovely birthday carriage ride through Central Park?

Who the hell is he talking to?

Who the hell knows where?

Who told you I was to be assassinated?

Who's a son of a bitch? Are you a son of a bitch?

Who's clicking around? Me...

Who's my stinky boy, huh? Who's my '?

Who's your go to movie star, you know, for“?

Whoa, hey, ladies, come on. I know the adrenaline's still pumping...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't pack up. My toes aren't gonna do themselves.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, zombie implies I raised her from the dead.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not cool, man. That is not at all cool.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, hang on.

Whoa, whoa. Take it down a notch, St. Louis.

Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa, unh!

Whoever he was.

Whoever that was, I'm serious, I'm pretty sure you've got Giardia.

Whom! Archer!

Whoo!

Whoo! Ha, ha, ha.

Whoo. Wow. Thank God you've been arrested so many times.

Whoops. That's probably why I seem annoyed.

Why Wait, Why is money not a problem?

Why are they wearing Swiss Guard uniforms, driving a Swiss Guard car?

Why are you driving around with dirty money?

Why are you going "ha"? I don't know. What are we doing?

Why are you taking her side? She's Lutheran.

Why aren't they on horseback? Because why would they be?

Why bother answering the phone? To tell people they can't eat here.

Why can't you let me have some wine? What is this, Spain in the '30s?

Why did you idiots leave it on 90 all weekend?

Why didn't you become a vet? Honestly? Didn't have the grades.

Why do I seem annoyed? Let's see.

Why do they need security, anyway?

Why do you always do this? Because I'm always bored.

Why do you casser le telephone?

Why do you get to be sous chef? I have fine dining experience.

Why do you let him push your buttons?

Why don't I shove a broom up my ass and sweep the floor?

Why don't you have to do it? Well, I would...

Why is Barry rocket shipping away from the fricking space station?

Why is Lana Kane And is that the geeky little accountant dude?

Why is that in the suitcase, Ron?

Why is the A.C

Why is there yogurt fricking soup all over my spotless fricking kitchen?

Why is your instinctive response to run toward explosions?

Why me? It's number two on my bucket list.

Why not push his buttons? Hm.

Why not?

Why not? Because what if they check the trunk?

Why the hell hasn't he activated his GPS beacon?

Why were you shooting at Krieger's door in the first place?

Why were you shooting at Krieger's door in the first place?

Why won't you guys stand up to Malory with me about blowing up the pipeline?

Why won't you let me help you? Besides the fact you'll probably kill me?

Why would we need the eight track?

Why would you wanna teach it to me at all?

Why would you want me to make it to the opera?

Why, because I'm black, or because I'm a woman?

Why, is it pumpkin season? Is that a thing?

Why?

Why?

Why? No, I was being facetious.

Why? What are you hiding this time?

Why? What'd she say?

Why? What's on here? Nothing. Jesus.

Why? Why did you say that?

Why?! Why couldn't he let me have the dream?

Wildlier inaccurate.

Will you ? I'm really starting to regret helping you.

Will you be the best there ever was in the game?

Will you excuse me for a sec?

Will you focus? That's as good as I can get it, dick nuts.

Will you hags stop it? There's nothing going on over there.

Will you put Mother on the damn phone? What's the magic word?

Will you shut up and stitch me up?

With Ken and your weekend weather.

With me? Dude, robot fight.

With Ron, in the bar at the Tuntmore.

With who'? Men. Men models.

With...?

Without getting all into the details...

Woodhouse

Woodhouse might be trapped in the dumbwaiter again.

Woodhouse, I'm gonna check that bowl.

Woodhouse, lighter. I'm only 90 pounds wet, sir.

Woodhouse, you need to

Worst day ever!

Would let me, I'd have a monkey do it.

Would you get the damn dog off my tits'?

Would you like to know who Sterling Archer really is?

Wouldn't have shot you for a gazillion bucks.

Wow, and here Mother thinks you are hands down the most boringest man...

Wow, heh, Lana, that was... Right? Totally passive aggressive.

Wow, okay, so...

Wow, that was months ago.

Wow, this might actually work

Wow! Okay, so since we're being racist

Wow.

Wow.

Wow. Did you learn Romansh? Who am I, Cypher, the gayest X Man?

Wow. I know, and head mechanic.

Wow. I know.

Wow. Shorty over there's got a club with lumps on it...

Wow. That accidentally worked.

Wow. Well, here comes the truck, so

Wow. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. Cyril, I said open the door.

Wow. You might actually be concussed because that's not a real sentence.

Wow. You really do like it. Your Excellency?

Wrong X Man, dumb ass. Still, though.

Yeah

Yeah, all right, so listen. Remember when I said maybe keep your gun handy?

Yeah, and I gotta go make an old man eat a big bowl of spiderwebs.

Yeah, and it's going about 20 miles an hour..

Yeah, and then after, you passed out in your room?

Yeah, and you know he was gay, right?

Yeah, because I'm not an id Oh, no.

Yeah, but is that worth it?

Yeah, but now it requires literal legwork, Ray, like walking and maybe running.

Yeah, but only because he wanted to see an epic robot Oh, shit.

Yeah, don't give me your pie of pumpkin, Barry. You are in the big trouble.

Yeah, don't take this the wrong way, Ron, but I'd rather bond with a C.H.U.D.

Yeah, duh, Line 2. Wha ?

Yeah, Glenda Gotrocks here says...

Yeah, good, get it all out now because this next part's gonna suck.

Yeah, good.

Yeah, gotta give them a head start.

Yeah, gotta give them a head start.

Yeah, hang on

Yeah, he's the idiot. Right?

Yeah, I Yeah, so maybe keep it handy.

Yeah, I actually feel pretty good. How is that possible?

Yeah, I don't actually know how any of this works.

Yeah, I don't know if you heard, but I don't have access to a helicopter.

Yeah, I don't know, man, it kind of seems like, "What's the point?", you know?

Yeah, I doubt it's still there.

Yeah, I got time for a quickie. Wait, a what?

Yeah, I know it'll cost a fortune to fix her up, but money's not a problem.

Yeah, I know. Are you cyborging Ray?

Yeah, I mean, did he mean a terminator of gays?

Yeah, I mean, that would drive her insane.

Yeah, I think you're ready.

Yeah, it would.

Yeah, it's espionage.

Yeah, it's the most stupidest boring job in the whole stupid boring world!

Yeah, just hop on in the back there

Yeah, looking right at you, Lupe.

Yeah, might as well.

Yeah, my mother says that a lot.

Yeah, no, I mean, obviously, this was all due to the butterfly effect.

Yeah, no, I would, but I can't really leave the lab at the moment.

Yeah, okay, hang on

Yeah, on the Mexican border. Who the hell's gonna sneak in from Canada?

Yeah, or Arizona, Mexico, New Mexico.

Yeah, or not, since there's no reason for him to come home at all.

Yeah, posing. And I'm drunk on nuptial bliss.

Yeah, probably.

Yeah, right?

Yeah, right? A baby could

Yeah, she said it would be like some freaky parallel universe...

Yeah, so try to sound apologetic, but not, you know, overly so.

Yeah, so watch out for dehydration.

Yeah, so we don't need to see how

Yeah, so, uh, about un framing you for treason and murder.

Yeah, so...

Yeah, sorry, we were dealing with this incredibly obnoxious hoax, so

Yeah, sorry, y'all, can't ride in the cab.

Yeah, sorry. I thought you might freak out when I told you all this.

Yeah, that was the third dumbest thing I've ever said.

Yeah, that'd do it.

Yeah, that's our Lana.

Yeah, the show's called Bastard Chef.

Yeah, there he is.

Yeah, they have to, it sucks there.

Yeah, they really hate the Japanese. You better have a plan.

Yeah, they're called briefs

Yeah, those scientists were pretty resourceful...

Yeah, vaguely. Well, the thing is

Yeah, well, it's not exactly "clean money."

Yeah, what could go wrong?

Yeah, whatever. But on the way we're Not swinging by the zoo.

Yeah, where is Barry?

Yeah, which is apparently French for just sitting around on your ass.

Yeah, which is why it's surprising that you're so shitty at it.

Yeah, why not?

Yeah, why not'?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we could just make it.

Yeah, you should. And I'm out of here.

Yeah! You should have five bars.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. "Child murderer" shouldn't be hyphenated.

Yeah. Because you weren't invited.

Yeah. I think that's got her, dude.

Yeah. Let's go down there. I own that dump.

Yeah. Me too, asshole.

Yeah. No.

Yeah. That's why I said Oliver Crom

Yeah. Well, after you passed out, I

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's me. I'm, like, 6.

Yeah. You must make a shitload.

Yep, look at that. There's even a craft services table

Yep, yep, Yep

Yes, absolutely. Eight o'clock, table for four. Thank you.

Yes, and you did excellent legwork.

Yes, as a matter of fact, they just this minute checked in.

Yes, chef. Randy, ready the soup.

Yes, chef. Right away, chef.

Yes, dear.

Yes, exactly, that's why you need a nice, long, relaxing cruise.

Yes, I do, and I just did, so come on, I need you in the control room.

Yes, just like you've done up to now.

Yes, Lana, clomp, meaning I know what clomp means.

Yes, Lana. We don't need a

Yes, my dear Sterling, come for me.

Yes, of course.

Yes, she did. Yes, she did.

Yes, Sterling, I'm..

Yes, that was the plan.

Yes, we can, if

Yes, Woodhouse, and then you can go buy some wax for your cross.

Yes, yes, I do.

Yes, yes! Okay, Jesus, I'm not deaf.

Yes, yes. It's all fine.

Yes, you can!

Yes, you do, Cyril. Now put it down.

Yes, you do. What are you talking about?

Yes, you, in fact, did, and said recompense will, in fact, be a handjob.

Yes!

Yes! No!

Yes?

Yes.

Yes. And as all North Koreans know, cameras steal your soul, so

Yes. Because it's wrong!

Yes. Cyril, they banging yet?

Yes. I'm not myself.

Yes. Please.

Yes. So for extra 1000 American...

Yes. Uh Can I...

Yes. What? No!

Yes. Yes!

Yo, asshole. What are we doing here?

Yo, Magnum, P.U.

You all remember Lucas Troy.

You are a fortunate man, signore.

You are American, yes? Uh, yes.

You are not jeopardizing this mission.

You are talking about eggplants.

You asshole. Was he crushed?

You brought them up to the room? Aha! Busted.

You build it, you hire people you trust to manage it.

You call headquarters, you say an innocent Amer

You can't just leave us here.

You can't tourniquet the taint.

You can't. No one is gonna believe Archer is a priest.

You could use a Tic Tac.

You could've said

You couldn't get a table, so you made an anonymous threat...

You dick. To fund our life together, dude.

You did get some sleep.

You did say right this second.

You didn't borrow it, you stole it.

You do. And this is macro managing.

You don't defy the gypsy.

You don't even have a vet license?

You don't hate it that she married me. No, yeah, Ron, I

You drank it and then puked into my trash can.

You finally saved enough money for a sex change.

You got it, you got it, you

You got our first aid kit, the radio out of the truck...

You gotta be pretty smart to fool the old Voight Kampff machine.

You gotta keep him away from the lab.

You gotta promise you're not gonna tell her.

You guess? Well, I'm not a mind reader, Lana.

You had same wine, how did you not get drug?

You have a dart in your neck.

You have one. Yeah, I wish.

You haven't seen threateningly.

You heard me, do not go in there.

You idiot. If I hadn't checked the time at that exact second, I'd be dead right now .

You know Shut up, have you tried calling him?

You know how the whole "the good news is" thing works, right?

You know rne, I've banged more hot chicks than I've had hot dinners, but..

You know there is a line?

You know what doesn't make sense?

You know, a butterfly in Africa lands on a giraffe's nose...

You left your gun in a pile of clothes.

You let Pam do it.

You lost me.

You mean mince? You know

You must really think I'm an idiot.

You need a helicopter.

You need medication, Pam. Pills, big pills, like they use at the zoo.

You need to get that?

You please, cut rate James Mason.

You promised you'd stop doing that. They were in my tuxedo from last time.

You put it down. It's over.

You said "shot" like three times. That's just by you.

You said a rocket launcher?

You said my card was used at the Tuntmore Towers Hotel?

You said you didn't have a passport.

You saw me shoot the mob guys. So?

You say that like there are cons.

You say that like you believe it.

You should already be feeling the effects of the anesthetic.

You should be up and around by Monday.

You shut up

You sure? Pam!

You think I'm some kind of a whore?

You took it? You aced it?

You trying not to laugh because you're cranky for some reason'?

You wanna help psycho cyborg super villain Barry...

You want one? No, I don't want a damn melon ball.

You want some? Makes you feel better.

You want us to wear earplugs every time you're on the damn Ah!

You were driving!

You were gonna redo your office.

You were speaking Latin when you walked in here.

You, not so much

You, through some shady deal with the Border Patrol...

You..

You'd need a bulldozer made of acid to get in here.

You're agent in command. Shut up, brief Corelli...

You're allergic to penicillin. Oh, right. And...

You're drunk on champagne. Well, little column A, little column B.

You're gonna get him in trouble. Ron, nobody's gonna miss one beer.

You're hallucinating.

You're in Schenectady?

You're new here, but Lana cries wolf on quitting ISIS, like, twice a week.

You're not still doing that?

You're the agent in command, Lana. You should focus on keeping my morale

You're the garcon de cuisine, which means kitchen boy...

You're the one who dropped it. Why do I have to clean it up?

You're welcome. Shut up.

Your apartment is one level

Your clomping ass ought to know. Wha ?

Your clothes. Give them to me.

Your fault to begin with.

Your Italian is, how you say, shit?

Your mother doesn't know I'm here...

Your mother sends me on this bullshit mission...

Your mother sends me on this bullshit mission...

Your punishment will begin when I get back from dropping him off at the opera.

Your words, Mother, but my voice mail doesn't call you.

Yours and mine, dumb ass. Uh, you lost me.

1. Trouble on the old home front?

...for feline AIDS. We get it!

...he is... Hey! Hey!

...put on some Al Green and... No!

...water. Well, what the hell was it?

...were totally free. Score. Right? Wow.

"Naysayers" walk in on you while you're helping Barry build a rocket.

"No, shit." No, I'm serious.

A monkey could do this stupid job. And yet I pay you to do it.

A true citizen of the world. Right?

Aah! Ha ha.

Ah, Archer! Shh.

Ah, Gurpgork. Gurpgork

Ah! Ha, ha, ha! Whoo!

Also yes. No.

And probably Mexican cartel gunmen. What'd I just say?

Archer! Drive the fricking car. Ow!

Archer's gonna come crawling back to you, tail between his legs from...

Asshole. Ew.

Attempting to breach my perimeter?

By Shithead Squadron.

Cyril I mean Chet? Archer?

Do you hear me'?

Ew. Gross.

For a dog. You know how insulting that is?

Give it to me. Unh! I will.

Grappa. Tsk. Aw.

Ha! Shut up.

Ha! What?

Has a thing about church stuff.

Here. You are crazy.

Hey, I can see St. Peter's from here. Archer, look out.

Hey, is that it? Where?

Hey! Well?

Hm. I wonder if Lana has a date. Yes.

I quit. Lana, believe me...

I was tired. Ew.

I will accept the charges. What? Carol, hey, shut up.

I'm letting them catch up. Why?

I'm right here, you know? Why?

I'm sorry? You should be.

I'm sure you do. What is ? ls something burning?

Is that we saved the pope's life.

It will save me God knows how much on exterminators.

Keep trying. Ugh!

Krieger? Oh, my God.

Lana? Yes.

Let's focus on the mission.

Like a closed circuit deal or...? No.

Me too. Since when?

Nine, 10. She's out.

No shit. Yeah.

No, that's not it. Is that it'?

No! No!

No! Please!

No? Why not?

No? Yes

No. Carol, open this damn door.

No. Maybe you're having a stroke. I'm not having a stroke.

No. You're half heroin already. Unh.

Now? Really? Trust me, if you knew my mother.

Oh, blow it out your cassock. Ron!

Oh, blow me. Why? You couldn't feel it.

Oh, for Deescalate your dick. De

Oh, my God. What if I'm gay for Tolkien? Dude.

Oh, really? Yes, really.

Oh, so now I'm a monkey? No, because a monkey

Oh, yeah, nice technique, Randy. Thank you, chef.

Oh! Oh, shit!

Oh. Then... Aah!

Okay. What the hell is this?

Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ha ha ha!

Ow! I mean, totally shit job? Cheryl.

Pam? What?

Permanent damage to my earballs...

Rocket launcher, si, molto pronto. Hmm.

Take me with you! Shut up!

Tempers were kind of high about the illegals in the truck.

The pope could drive better than you. No, no.

Then why are you bothering ? Cheryl!

Transport. Are you shitting me?

Truckasaurus? Cyril?

Ugh! No way, that is so unfair. What, are they banging?

Ugh! Not with all this damn racket. What ?

Ugh. ...is full. Goodbye.

Unh! Cyril, hit the deck. Wait. Why just ?

Unh. Uh, couple things.

Wait, are you guys? No, we

Way station. I beg your pardon?

Well, I assume in the hotel room, but God Ugh!

What do you think you're doing? My job, Lana.

What the hell are you doing? Gonna see if his breath fogs it up.

What, to five, dick nuts? Krieger!

What? First of all, shit ass. Or take criticism

What? Oh! Heh, heh, heh.

What? When were you planning to tell me? I was.

What's going on here? Sterling?

wheel, exactly. 80... Kazak?

Who are you, Jaime Sommers? Yes.

Why aren't you in position? I am, this is how I do it.

With who? Damn it.

Yes. No.

You got another one in you? Ew.

You guys can edit that out, right? Yes. But we won't.

You heard that? Yes.

You want me to look for what? A station wagon.

You'll need one to get out of there.

You're late.

..

...20 mark two fragmentation grenade.

...a singular same sex attraction. Can I, uh Um...

...after I paid him to get his teeth drilled to match my dental records

...all the while assuming What? That we'd totally blow ?

...almost impossibly light on her feet.

...and for some inexplicable reason, they have to do that undercover, so...

...and get me 1000 rounds of nine mil wadcutter.

...and get the access code to the pope's apartment.

...and give the other one back to the church?

...and got ISIS hired to do security.

...and Hop Sing's just

...and I assume you're not sending Ray

...and it's clear. That's the good news.

...and just generally make her life hell...

...and let's go start our weekend. All right, but don't miss that flight!

...and maybe I push Lana's buttons on purpose...

...and maybe you're good for Mother, and

...and not being weird because we had sex last night.

...and play an acoustic set while I slap some sense into you.

...and quacks like a duck and murders a bunch of its fellow ducks

...and render what's left into soap," you'll think about it?

...and second of all, here's your refund. I really thought that would work.

...and second, these bowls are the worst.

...and sent you a note to come to her room.

...and smash the defense grid so Skynet !

...and tell me Archer filled out your stupid forms...

...and that you, the long suffering Lana Kane...

...and the four minutes of free time I have today, I'm talking to you cockwits.

...and the night nurse is, like, Brazilian and 20.

...and the Rat Patrol just tore ass all over North Africa, hassling Rommel.

...and the rhinoceros blindly stampedes into a phone booth...

...and then it's, ha ha, beep, and then somehow Pm the idiot.

...and then laughing because I murdered you.

...and then strapped himself into the still burning Wreckage?

...and then toss him to the gators.

...and there goes a sign for Catskill, so

...and two grenades as per the note from your mother.

...and when I finally do, instead of Casteau's world famous risotto...

...and, in a croaky whisper, explains that Mr. Archer is totally incompetent...

...and, uh, Chet here so... So scoop it into a bowl.

...apparently we have stumbled into...

...Archer shot out the engine block.

...Archer's missing, and you want us to do nothing?

...are the only one qualified to run ISIS and you weep shameful tears...

...are you maggots not prepping? I Wait, are you doing a bumper?

...as American with that hillbilly accent?

...as they fight to the death through the streets of Manhattan

...associated with this physical address.

...because I have no soup!

...because I still have some pretty strong

...because that's the only way to fill the

...because the unlicensed vet drank all his tequila.

...because you were jealous of our relationship.

...because you're too chickenshit to take your candy ass to the future...

...before it's too late.

...between his great nation and ours.

...blaze orange is the safest color to wear to avoid being accidentally shot at.

...but after a few years of feeding tubes and colostomy bags, I resent her...

...but after the Dutch co eds left.

...but are you seriously just getting me back for the Scotch?

...but do not tell me how to discipline my servant.

...but especially to our highest scoring recruit, Lucas Troy.

...but how many Mexicans does it take to hook up a car stereo?

...but I do still believe there are some things that only God should do.

...but I wanted to bring you a birthday present.

...but I'm gonna jump on the truck. So I need you to take the

...but I'm pretty sure I said I didn't wanna see this.

...but I'm, uh, getting an extremely gay vibe.

...but if they were gonna tip 20 percent, I just hosed myself.

...but it has tons of potential.

...but it sounded like it'll be pretty heavy on n****es and jazz, so

...but let's, you know, deescalate the situation.

...but maybe you know someone who values money

...but now she won't even take my call?

...but that's only because I didn't wanna be rude.

...but the guys making the real money own the chop shops

...but what is your problem?

...but when those State Department dweebs see just how good ISIS really is...

...but you're not getting any younger.

...but, uh' I make the rules.

...but, yeah, let's go with peppercorns. Thank you.

...but, yeah, let's go with peppercorns. Thank you.

...by not performing your wifely duties

...calls New York somehow and says, "Hey, go kill this idiot Ron for a suitcase!"

...cleverly disguised as a large man.

...closely guarded by people I deem acceptable.

...compliments of the Socialist Republic of Canada

...cops got all of them

...digging this goddamn jeep out of this goddamn sand!

...doing the right thing?

...drive him out to the Everglades, slather him with chicken fat...

...during the coming nuclear winter. Ugh.

...equal responsibility with Lana. Wh ?

...far and away the best thing that ever happened to me

...female scientists up here. All of them.

...for an undercover mission protecting the pope from assassination.

...for which you have neither clearance nor written permission...

...for which, spoiler ahead, they don't pay taxes.

...four ODIN agents were dead, the uranium...

...get back to Earth so she'll dump him for you?

...getting Tom Dempsey'd in the tits. Ooh. Archer...

...ha, ha, ha, the ground. Whoo!

...has been infiltrated Sorry.

...have profoundly influenced your life'?

...he can drink Ireland under the table

...he goes to work for ODIN.

...he said he must go for work to London.

...home

...how the actions of a deeply disturbed woman...

...how would you?

...I don't have to explain myself to you, of all people. And

...I don't know if you're deaf or just an asshole or both..

...I don't think, so he must have meant

...I have an entire human race to save.

...I have to eat sheep face. Wait a minute.

...I killed a bear. Nuh uh.

...I may or may not owe $14,000 to some people...

...I question your commitment to America.

...I snuck into your room with a big bottle of suntan oil...

...I think it's super creepy you get sexually aroused by physical violence.

...I wouldn't be surprised if you're out of a job.

...I'd love to go over the Menu, I know, let's

...I'm answering phone calls from people who aren't good enough to eat here.

...I've been shot, stabbed, set on fire, poisoned, shot, sexually assaulted..

...I've had to get out of handcuffs? Aah!

...if I had a peer in this entire building.

...if she promises never to do this again, maybe over a drink?

...if you ever truly loved me, you will help Barry to come home to me.

...in the restaurant tonight.

...in the sunblasted shithole which is Texas...

...instead of whether or not you crawled out of your mother!

...is an insane response to your situation.

...is going to last for the next three to five nights.

...is like comparing apples to six Cadillac

...is often light brown with darker ventral bands

...is some kind of unspeakably ****y, snuff film

...is that he's got some kind of pervasive developmental disorder...

...is to murder your little buddy Archer? Archer? No way, man. I hate that guy.

...isn't the optimal time to do peer reviews.

...it can also envenom the Taint sucker, that's you, let's go.

...it is once again time for peer reviews.

...it'll be when some whore is giving you a blow job.

...it's a freaking hovercraft! Woo hoo!

...it's pumping through your veins to your heart and brain.

...just kill yoursel Heh heh heh.

...just to get a tranquilizer gun? No, I am not.

...kicking it Bedrock style

...Lana is now agent in command.

...landed safely, buried his chute...

...like, you know, a frittata the size of a hockey rink.

...listening to your drunk ass fart and snore all night in the only bed...

...making this pipeline crucial to the Russians...

...male dominated, xenophobic puppet state...

...mark my words, one day soon, we'll be a major player.

...maybe you should get some tapes on German, French, Italian and Romansh.

...maybe you should get some tapes on German, French, Italian and Romansh.

...Miss Spy On People. What? I only watched for a second.

...mother.

...mother's husband has to be back in time for the opera.

...nobody wanted a hovercraft more than me.

...not a bunch of vanadium bones. Yeah, but they're awesome.

...not one of them gave me up

...not ordering every single item on the room service menu.

...now there might not be any reward money...

...of some terrifying ghost of honeymoon future.

...on and on, it's all just secrets and lies, man.

...on this entire planet of Earth

...on this entire planet of Earth.

...or even undiagnosed atypical autism.

...or somewhere else snowy where he can't track us.

...partially chewed, shot, and declared legally dead.

...promise you'll never tell Mother. Okay, I promise.

...qui était, vraiment, une femme fatale.

...rampaging up into my toilet.

...ran ten miles to the crash site...

...rangeless.

...really has matured me?

...replacing your current, uh, leg bones.

...ritzy joints like Seize have reservation numbers that are strictly on the QT.

...sent us to South Texas to capture an individual named Moreno.

...she calls you to her deathbed...

...she said commandingly, is

...she'd thrown away his $11 phrasebook.

...she's a quadriplegic, I marry her out of guilt...

...shooting tranquilizer darts at the world's shittiest pet.

...since I started working at ISIS...

...so get a fix on my signal and reroute the chopper to those coordinates.

...so I can insult people's cooking all over the globe.

...so I could win some of those x ray specs?

...so my highly trained staff...

...so she'll need somebody to talk to, so

...so we can get Cruella de Vil's mom in there a table before she kills Jermaine.

...so we get some tapes and brush up on our Swiss?

...so we know if and when the uranium shows up.

...so you and I can split the other 70?

...so you can monitor the police band And not to sound racist again...

...some bolt cutters and something called a "defrimbulator."

...Sterling drove off in the truck with this Mexican woman?

...symmetric sub caudal scalation, darker ventral bands, obviously.

...talking to a TV crew when we're undercover?

...than this. You know

...that a person is a candidate for field agent status.

...that hobo I set on fire...

...that Sterling beat both of you up then shot Cyril?

...that until I say otherwise, Mr. Sticky Fingers...

...that you are at all suited to a covert mission in Turkmenistan.

...that you know nothing about because I just unmade it.

...that you know nothing about because I just unmade it.

...that your bonuses will now be used to pay this ridiculous hotel bill...

...the ambassador extraordinary and plenipotentiary of Albania.

...the awesome Luke Troy, is on your stupid agenda!

...the bad guys and the money had all disappeared.

...the gazelle bonks into a rhinoceros...

...the giraffe sneezes, that spooks a gazelle..

...the madman selling the uranium.

...the men you killed were camorra.

...The Russian Tea Room or The Palm.

...the tender flesh of which I'm now ruining under the broiler...

...then every bit of meat sc****d off those cheeks.

...then he will be dead to me.

...then my first dealership, and eventually

...then please don't finish that sentence. Dude. It's my deathbed confession.

...then tell Rodney they need travel documents an hour ago.

...there is something about you.

...there was no one to give you a birthday present.

...there's a Land Cruiser over there flipping his high beams at us.

...there's been some vague security threat...

...they don't make the rules, you do.

...they're gonna need to be Convinced?

...till they all died.

...to decide if he will accept a full athletic scholarship to Johns Hopkins.

...to even gaze upon, to find all phone numbers...

...to help some poor people who just want a better life for their family.

...to see if I can get my son out of this mess.

...to the hospital for emergency surgery.

...to this very hotel in Baltimore...

...Troy acquired real uranium. Even classicer.

...Troy was posing as a nuclear scientist...

...try to get satellite photos on the next pass.

...two each arctic camouflage parka and pant and...

...two H&K MP5, 2000 rounds ammunition for same...

...two pairs snowshoe. Son of a bitch!

...U.S. Albanian relations could become even more unstable so

...until her face, bloated and yellow from liver failure...

...wait for them to come in, and then Then what? You are only two.

...waiting for a stupid truck stuffed with smallish brown people...

...wallpaper are you thinking about? Because, uh, I think it needs a textile.

...we can't call the police, so we're just gonna go, but

...we take you back to glorious Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

...we won't kill and eat him for Easter dinner...

...we would like the honeymoon suite. And our price range is...

...we've got ingress points here and here and...

...what I really hope was not an Ent

...what I'm just gonna assume...

...what if they checked you for a gun? You do have a gun, don't you?

...what should have been a simple mission turning into a total farce.

...when we get there. Get where?

...where John Waters directed The Road Warrior.

...whereas I am sous chef, which means shut your face and mop up the damn yogurt.

...which Yeah, I think it's getting worse

...which can cause respiratory failure, cardiac arrest...

...which equals 12 beers

...which I had earmarked for vital operations.

...which I will fuse to a vanadium alloy endoskeleton...

...which I'm gonna use to deficit finance a new show where I travel...

...which I'm sure is why you wanted this room.

...which is why we're paying Gorbanguly to hinder construction

...which maybe I do, possibly, if I'm being completely honest...

...which neither of you speak nor even understand, obviously, so

...which sends electrical impulses to your muscles and ligaments and stuff...

...which turns out is not nearly as gay a job as I thought it was.

...which we can only do after we extract Agent, what's his name, Kazak?

...which, by the way, was grossly Inadequate preparation...

...which, turns out, is a not good place to meet women.

...who cares about this being an efficient and supportive work environment.

...who ever made me regret taking the holy orders.

...who framed you for murdering colleagues and selling uranium on the black market?

...who had stolen enough uranium for a dirty bomb.

...who immediately confessed to the plot. Hey, hey, that is good news.

...who just want a job.

...who would pay $6 million just to make ISIS look like idiots?

...who's compelled to sleep with every woman he meets...

...who's driving this clown car like Parnelli fricking Jones?

...who's trapped in space like General fricking Zod...

...whose dictator changed the words for bread and Friday to his dog's name.

...with .50 cal machine guns on the back...

...with Luke Troy and all the other assholes.

...with night vision goggles and literally pisses himself.

...with no GPS, no gun, no sat phone, and no life saving water.

...with the world's worst colleague. Bishop the android from Aliens.

...without getting all trainspotty?

...you can have room where he wrote. Yes!

...you just might learn something from her. Ha!

...you just might learn something from her. Ha!

...you probably should not be reading this out loud "

...you struck out the major league home run champion, Slammer Sloan.

...you want me to use this top secret 934 TX telephonic isolator unit...

...you will regret it!

...you will spend your lunch hour being fitted for a prosthetic hand.

...you wouldn't wanna owe 14 cents.

...you're gonna find me in a dumpster somewhere out in Red Hook.

...your lips, your... Ha, ha. Giancarlo.

"because you know this terrible place is the only true love you will ever know.

"Curious" meaning what, exactly?

"Dear Sterling..

"Does employee frequently criticize oth "

"Employee is often unprepared for important meetings."

"Employee is often unprepared for important meetings."

"Get in my big old vagina.

"Hey, stupid, here's your fake uranium," click, handcuffs, drops mic on stage.

"Hi, I'm Ron Cadillac, a.k.a. Mr. Boring."

"Publicity whore" isn't hyphenated so why Why the shit...

"Uh huh." Ugh.

"Why is that weird?" Because my sworn purpose in life...

"Wildlier" isn't a real word, by the way. At least not in English.

"Your mother is a whore and a goatherd is her pimp."

$0... So I actually have an idea about that.