Archer (2009) - Season 2 Edit

A big spritz of knockout gas?

A bit, yes, but I'm afraid I know nothing about this.

A blood sample is enough to determine paternity.

A candy bar! Mother, I'm not the father, it was...

A green card?

A hundred thousand pesos in bribes, and my stomach's never been the same.

A lot of these aren't so simple.

A man barely alive.

A microchip? Russian markings? What on earth is this?

A rainbow should shoot out every time you open it.

A roll, then. Whatever.

A taut, sexy thriller.

A third party? But we have a state of the art laboratory at ISIS.

A thousand times, da.

A tontine, lads.

A traitor to the cause of environmental protection?

A walk? Is that some sort of a joke?

A week's supply of breast cancer chemotherapy drugs...

A what? That... What are you...? I don't have one of those.

A, because I got deported, and B... So she can actually sell ISIS?

Aah! Aah! No, no, no.

Aah! Who taught you women how to shoot?

About Ruth. I guess you heard.

About time. Ass.

According to ODIN's guy in the KGB, which, as a real agency, we have.

Actually, hoped.

Actually, I don't know what I was implying. I just said it.

Actually, that would not surprise me.

Afraid I haven't seen a Magic Marker either, sir.

Afraid it's just not responding to those chemo drugs

After a lifetime of your secrets and lies, we will finally have the truth!

After Cyril Figgis saves the day.

After Slutya Slutsakova did this.

After that sc**** I got you out of?

After the war ended, we were snatching up Kraut scientists like hotcakes.

After you, kiddo.

After? Why didn't you lock down the building?

Afternoon, comrades.

Ah, is not so bad, you take crossword, you catch up with your neighbors.

Ah, Monsieur Archer.

Ahem. Medical discharge.

Ahem. So, what do you guys think? Loafers and a suit, yea or nay?

Ahh. I'm good.

Airboat! Oh, man!

Alas, poor Reggie.

Alcohol tends to exacerbate an underlying personality disorder.

Alive.

All except Miss Archer's.

All from the past six months. What the hell?

All I did was foolishly lose it.

All my money's in, like, a trust and I'd have to ask my gross brother.

All of it.

All right, Archer, you win this round.

All right, fair enough. Come on, girls.

All right, I'm going in. Man, I can't believe I'm doing this.

All right, let's do that again.

All right, so wait a second. What are your three biggest fears?

All right, so, suggestions.

All right, the Mark 2 has kind of nubbly ridges.

All right, there's my signature.

All right, those are ODIN guys. Ray, you're the little pink sailor and...

All right, time for a little tension relief of my own.

All those beaners care about is taking American jobs.

ALL: Barry? Yes, Barry, hi.

ALL: Ugh.

Alligators, by far the biggest.

Along with comb over.

Alrighty. Well, welcome to the United States.

Also from X Men. Remember?

Also irrelevant, because you're not going to screw this up, are you?

Also, yes.

Although he has been a lot nicer ever since he was diagnosed.

Although this is a way better excuse than the train dwarf, which...

Although, I do have 3 pounds of glass in my feet.

Although, that is what you'd say if you were a double agent.

Always dropping calls, you know?

Always hide in plain sight. Unless you've got a better idea.

Always looking for something sturdy to loop his Sam Browne over?

Always prancing around in those clingy little whatever they are..

And a broken hand which kills.

And a hidden transmitter in your rifle scope.

And a Negress at that.

And after that falafel, I am right behind him.

And also for us to sweep the building, the doing of which I am in charge.

And another one. Shit, and another.

And as for Stilton, there's no nice way to put it.

And as long as I can still, you know, swoop in and save the day, ha ha...

And as the 24 hours of uninterrupted vault footage shows...

And B...

And bring me some stuff to do. It's crazy, stupid boring in here.

And Cyril's, and Pam's. Everybody's.

And do it badass like I would...

And don't you want to freshen up after your long ride?

And every dime of that 4 million better be in that bag.

And everybody else shut up and watch Terms of Enrampagement.

And everything else.

And guess who he was.

And he is the man I will marry.

And he paid up front, in cash.

And he was looking at me... My God, I can still see him smile.

And her lover.

And here's another one. Remember Jerry Reed's character in Gator?

And here's to the old Double Deuce.

And how does she have 2.3 million damn dollars in her 401(k)?

And how long you think this one's gonna be around?

And how much will you be splitting?

And I also know I got five of your hand tailored suits in the back.

And I also know that nobody likes a tattletale.

And I bet that sneaky little chief just dumped them all...

And I can just forget all about getting on the board of the Met.

And I can just forget all about getting on the board of the Met.

And I can let all this stuff go for $41,688.

And I can say positively you are...

And I definitely could've been nicer to you, Ca... Cheryl.

And I don't know how it's gonna turn out, so I wanted to, you know...

And I don't want ISIS or you. And all I want is this lettuce and his brother.

And I just assume I don't wanna know what's on that.

And I just can't wait to hear that lame excuse.

And I know you're in a lot of pain, so just try to relax.

And I know you're not supposed to let Woodhouse see your lady parts.

And I move on with my life, and then, bam, you drill one into a hooker.

And I never got my swan shaped towels.

And I never thought I'd say this, but, Sterling, you did the right thing.

And I still got two to go, so if you don't mind...

And I think Sterling might be trying to cross into Russia.

And I'll even throw in the Chokebot.

And I'll see you at the lawyer's office, granny.

And I'm also sorry we can't let you blow up this pipeline.

And I'm like, "Who cares?" And he's like...

And I'm pretty sure... Guys, feel free to correct me.

And I'm seeing this more and more.

And if anyone's going to ruin my son's wedding...

And if I can be there for her when she really needs me, then all the better.

And if I wanted to sit around all day going nowhere, I'd be a teacher.

And if it's one thing I've learned in all my years as a spy master...

And if it's one thing I've learned in all my years as a spy master...

And if you won't tell him, Woodhouse, I bloody well shall.

And if you're hot, and also somewhat bitchy, drink a beer.

And it was his fault for grabbing me with his throwing hand.

And JFK's father was a bootlegger.

And just for the record, I don't care.

And lay off the wee baby Seamus.

And maybe together we could add up to one good parent for this baby.

And mystery solved, he was a thousand.

And nobody, especially Mother, is gonna ruin that for me.

And now all the candy is Mother's...

And now he has it, so it's all Sterling this and ribbons that.

And now I have to spend my first Friday off in forever...

And now Mr. Archer is...

And now, all of a sudden, he's like, "Let me go"?

And now, Oscar winner Rona Thorne takes on the CIA and the KGB...

And oh, my... His first black turtleneck.

And once the worm decrypts the cover list and uploads it...

And other mysterious circumstances. Every one of these is like that.

And Pam, your job is to neutralize the ODIN agents.

And possible genetic clones of Adolf Hitler closer.

And probably killed.

And said test will, obviously, be administered by a third party, so...

And second of all, I didn't steal that money, I merely borrowed it.

And second of all, no one is going to kidnap you on my watch.

And second, until I find out where Delaney is, please stop shooting people.

And second, where is Cheryl Tunt?

And she's also having a torrid affair with one of her sexy young agents...

And since you all witnessed the blood sample...

And since you seem unclear on the concept...

And so does our target, Joshua Gray, a.k.a. Gandalf.

And so I ended up being an actress.