The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) Soundboard Edit

A gift?

A great many back payments are included in it, I assure you.

A life can be made right.

A moment later, Scrooge found himself standing on a city street,

A pair of mittens that were made by your mother

A place of joy and laughter.

A promise to share the wealth

A remarkable child.

A remarkable child.

A special time of caring

A squeezing, wrenching, grasping, clutching...

After all, there's only one more sleep till Christmas

After all, there's only one more sleep till Christmas

Ah! Welcome!

Ah! Welcome!

Ahh!

And as good a man as the good old city ever had.

And catch us when we fall

And every path will bring me back from where I roam

And his sympathy for all poor men,

And I say, God bless it.

And I'm here. It's a miracle.

And in our prayers and dreams We ask you, bless us all

And is he, too, familiar?

And it is the season of the spirit

And it's a tradition for us to take a little nap.

And now I leave you with the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come.

And pay your mortgage on this house.

And so the boy was off like a shot. So even...

And so they arrived in Ebenezer Scrooge's childhood.

And therefore, Bob Cratchit...

And we stand tall

Another year before our wedding, Ebenezer.

As hard and as ruthless as a rose petal.

Bah. Humbug!

Barely clearing expenses.

Because I'm the stone you can't squeeze blood from.

Bob Cratchit?

Brightly shone the moon that... night,

Business continues to be poor.

But Scrooge's nephew, Fred. His only living relative

But the incident at the door had made Scrooge wary.

But the incident at the door had made Scrooge wary.

But the thing that made Scrooge happiest of all

But... you're just a child.

But... you're just a child.

Can't I meet them all at once and get it over with?

Caring not a button for the darkness.

Change!

Children, children, it's time to set the table.

Christmas Day.

Christmas Day.

Come on, he never goes home for Christmas.

Come, there is much to see.

Crachy.

Daddy!

Daddy.

Darkness was cheap, and Scrooge liked it.

Do you remember this meeting?

Do you remember this meeting?

Don't ask him for a favor 'cause his nastiness increases

Don't you have other things to do this afternoon?

Doomed, Scrooge You're doomed for all time

Doomed, Scrooge You're doomed for all time

Each one connected with a thousand thoughts, hopes, joys and cares,

Ebenezer, this is Belle,

Even though he is odious, stingy, wicked,

Even though he is odious, stingy, wicked,

Every idiot who goes about with Merry Christmas on his lips

Everyone, please, can I have your attention for a moment?

Excuse me, Mr. Scrooge, but it appears to be closing time.

Expect the first ghost when the bell tolls one!

Fills me up with laughter Fills me up with song

Follow me, lad.

For well meaning gentlemen to call upon businesses,

Fun, huh?

God bless us, every one.

Goodbye, goodbye.

Goodbye, goodbye.

Goodbye, lunch!

Goose. They're cooking goose down there.

Haunted? I've already had enough of that.

Haunted? I've already had enough of that.

Have you ever noticed that everything seems wonderful at Christmas?

Having Christmas with friends.

He did it all, and infinitely more.

He lets his hunger rule

He must be so sad

He was a tightfisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge.

He's gone!

He's here to speak to you about his... mortgage.

He's here to speak to you about his... mortgage.

Here.

Hey, get back in the box, Martin!

Hey, I'm stuck, get me out of here.

Hey, look. Fruit.

Hey, we're going down.

His blankets? Why, Mrs. Dilber, they're still warm.

His blankets? Why, Mrs. Dilber, they're still warm.

Hmm. Well, I'm usually trustworthy.

Hot, hot, hot!

How can we endure it?

How could we marry now? There's not even enough for a decent home

How do you know what Scrooge is doing?

How does he do that?

Humbug.

I am here to tell the story.

I am serious. Buy it for me and I'll give you a shilling

I am sure we shall never forget Tiny Tim.

I am.

I do make this promise, every breath I take

I don't know a single soul who would go to it.

I don't know or care why he's gone.

I don't know what to do. I'm as light as a feather.

I don't pay extra for the warmth, you know.

I had 1,274 brothers and sisters.

I haven't missed it. The spirits did it all in one night.

I just wish there was something we could give you.

I keep telling you, storytellers are omniscient. I know everything.

I know some of those gentlemen, spirit.

I love them so much, I think we'll do it twice a year.

I pay Bob such a small amount.

I say it on my knees, Jacob and Robert.

I say it on my knees, Jacob and Robert.

I think I must, in fact.

I told you, these are the shadows of the things that have been.

I wasn't eating them,

I will live my life in the past, the present, and the future.

I will live my life in the past, the present, and the future.

I will not shut out the lessons the spirits have taught me.

I would not want to show weak eyes to your father,

I?

I'm bored with speeches. Let's dance, Son!

I'm bored with speeches. Let's dance, Son!

I'm creating scarcity. Drives the prices up.

I'm creating scarcity. Drives the prices up.

I'm home

I'm home.

I'm looking forward to it, headmaster.

I'm okay, okay.

I'm pleased to meet you.

I'm pleased to meet you.

If any man alive possessed the knowledge.

In life, we were your partners,

Is make it last all year

Is make it last all year

It feels like Christmas

It feels like Christmas

It feels like Christmas

It feels like Christmas

It feels like Christmas!

It is the season of the heart

It is the season of the spirit

It is the season of the spirit

It was always said of him that he knew how to keep Christmas well,

It was short.

It will be lovely, Emily.

It's a chef's thing, dear. And do not shout, Betina.

It's a pleasure talking with you, lad.

It's a season when the saints can employ us

It's a time for generosity.

It's all the ways that we show love

It's going home and getting warm by the fire

It's going home and getting warm by the fire

It's going home and getting warm by the fire

It's going home and getting warm by the fire

It's good to be doing anything again.

It's in the giving of a gift to another

It's in the singing of a street corner choir

It's me.

It's my best dressing gown

It's true wherever you find love

It's true wherever you find love

It's true wherever you find love

Jacob Marley?

Joe, get off.

Lead on, spirit.

Let us help you with that, Mr. Cratchit.

Let us run from anger

Let's all take our seats now. Let's have dinner

Let's all take our seats now. Let's have dinner.

Let's go see if Christmas dinner is ready yet.

Life is made up of meetings and partings.

Lift my spirit

Look at this, I've got to move...

Look, it's beautiful, Rizzo.

Look, it's the Marley brothers.

Look, there's a buffet over here. I'm kind of hungry.

Look, there's a buffet over here. I'm kind of hungry.

Looking at a building he had not seen in years.

Looking at a building he had not seen in years.

Lord knows, it being Christmas and all.

Love, hope, and peace to me

M M M Mr. Scrooge.

Master Scrooge, this is Christmas.

May I welcome you to Christmas morning?

Merciful heavens.

Merry Christmas, girls.

Merry Christmas?

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

Missed.

Mommy!

Mother of pearl.

Mother, Mother, Mother!

Mr. Applegate, sir.

My goodness, I don't know what to say.

My taxes go to pay for the prisons and the poorhouses.

My time upon this globe is very brief.

Nephew and niece to me

Nice story, Mr. Dickens.

No crust of bread for those in need

No, I don't know much about it, either way.

No, I don't know much about it, either way.

Not Tiny Tim?

Nothing ever changed.

Nothing.

Now? But spirit, I have learned so much from you.

Of course you are, Betina.

Oh, at least I landed on something soft.

Oh, Jacob and Robert Marley.

Oh, Jacob and Robert Marley.

Oh, oh, Th th th thank you.

Oh, Rizzo.

Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

Oh, they're not torn down. They're here.

Oh, Yes! Make it last all year.

Oh. Excellent.

On my knees

On my knees.

One.

Or are they the shadows of things that may be, only?

Or this first parting that there was among us.

Our assets are frozen.

Ow! I'm from New Jersey.

Pardon me, gentlemen, but about the charity donation

Perhaps it was the spirit's own generous nature,

Perhaps it was the spirit's own generous nature,

Please don't shout at me, sir.

Push!

Quick, it'll be warmer in there.

Quiet!

Quiet!

Rats don't understand these things.

Really? Over 1,800 of my brothers have come before me.

Remember, don't tip the driver.

Remember?

Rizzo, get out of the way.

Rizzo, get out of the way.

Rizzo...

Rizzo...

Say, is it getting cold around here?

Scrooge beheld a small boy, a boy he knew,

Scrooge is saved, what can happen now?

Scrooge kept his eyes upon Tiny Tim, until the last.

Scrooge lived in chambers which had once belonged

Scrooge made his way up the stairs,

Scrooge was left alone and exhausted in his bedchamber

Singing in the night

Singing in the night

So have your fun When life is done

So we're never quite alone

So we're never quite alone

So, here you are.

So, Master Scrooge, graduation day!

Spending the mortgage money on frivolities.

Spirit, do you grow old?

Spirit, I fear you more than any specter I have yet met.

Spirit, tell me if Tiny Tim will live.

Stop and look around you

Take heed. Come.

Tell me that I may sponge out the writing on this stone.

Tell me, Ebenezer Scrooge, do you know this place?

Thank you for bringing me here.

Thank you for making me a part of this.

Thank you for not shouting at me.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks. If you like this, you should read the book.

That and, of course, little Gwen. Her lungs aren't right.

That certainly is true.

That is the way of it

That they are what they are, do not blame me.

That was the worst trip of my life.

That was the worst trip of my life.

That we have ever known

That we have ever known

That's scary stuff. Should we be worried about the kids in the audience?

The chains.

The desks.

The doctor takes his share, don't he?

The founder of the feast, indeed. Huh!

The investments haven't grown as they should.

The love we found

The loving family I hold dear

The Marleys were dead, to begin with.

The Marleys were dead, to begin with.

The message if we hear it

The message if we hear it

The message, if we hear it

The relentless march of those terrible bells.

The relentless march of those terrible bells.

The sweetest dream

The sweetest dream

The ways of love made clear

The ways of love made clear

The ways of love made clear

The world has got a smile

Then what?

There goes Mr. Heartless

There goes Mr. Humbug There goes Mr. Grim

There goes Mr. Outrage

There goes Mr. Skinflint There goes Mr. Greed

There goes Mr. Sneer

There was, of course, another Christmas Eve with this young woman,

There, now. My eyes get weak in the dim light.

There's a little mole on my thumb.

These events can be changed.

This is Fozziwig's old rubber chicken factory.

This is my island in the sun!

This is the door, you may use it.

This is the night before the dawn before the day of Christmas.

This is too scary. I don't think I want to see any more

Though the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even

Though the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even

Tiny Tim always loved watching the ducks on the river.

To conduct a proper search, Scrooge was forced to light the lamps.

To conduct a proper search, Scrooge was forced to light the lamps.

To Mr. Scrooge, he'll be very merry and happy this day, I have no doubt.

To say that Scrooge was not startled would be untrue.

To the founder of the feast, Mr. Scrooge.

To Tiny Tim, Scrooge became a second father.

Today you go forth into the real world.

Today, the world has got a glow

Too late now. Come on, I'll catch you

Uh, in all honesty, spirit, no.

Uh, that is, What, me, sir?

Um... Why, um, the, er, whole day.

Very cheap damask. But worth a few coins.

Very cheap damask. But worth a few coins.

Very well, you may gift wrap them.

Wait a second. I forgot my jelly beans.

We carry with us

We promised we would be.

We shall go out into the world.

We specialized in causing pain, spreading fear and doubt

We were always heckling you.

We... They won't last long the way you're eating them.

We... They won't last long the way you're eating them.

We're down here and he's up there.

We're having so much fun

Welcome to Fozziwig and Mom's annual Christmas party.

Well, I got these collar buttons from his dresser.

Well, I'm glad you two finally met.

Well, now, we've had the plum pudding and sung the carols.

What have you got for me to remember him by?

What?

What?

When a stranger says hello

When you're right, you're right. You're on your own, folks.

Who are you?

Who are you?

Who cares about stupid old Christmas?

Who made lame beggars walk and blind men see.

Who was the wretched man

Why do you come to me?

Why do you come to me?

Why do you delight in torturing me?

Why is it so quiet, spirit?

Will be nephew and niece to me

Will be nephew and niece to me

With a burst of pleasure we feel it arrive, fa la la

With a glass raised to toast your health

With a grateful prayer and a thankful heart

With a grateful prayer and a thankful heart

With that, the Cratchits came to what was surely

With their employer gone at last,

Wow! Ouch.

Wow! Ouch.

Yah! That's a great game. I'll be it.

Yah! That's a great game. I'll be it.

Yeah, safe at last.

Yeah, we must have a game at Christmas.

Yeah, we've met.

Yeah, we've met.

Yeah.

Yes, Mr. Scrooge?

Yes, yes.

Yes?

Yes?

Yet now, as the clock finished striking...

You changed.

You dancing fool!

You have all the fun.

You wanted to know what was happening.

You will love business.

You will love business.

You, sir, were not at work this morning as we had discussed.

You're a little absent minded, spirit

You're a partner in your own firm now.

You're blocking the smell.

You're blocking the smell.

You're welcome.

Young man, you have been apprenticed to a fine company in London.

Your salvation, then.

17... 42...

17... 42...

All right. Sheesh.

and decaying in their graves. Yeuch!

Christmas apples. We got Macintosh.

Christmas apples. We got Macintosh.

Go and buy it. Be serious.

Have some bread? Not while I'm working.

Hmm. Ah. Look at that!

In the city? Usually

It was obvious. It was pointless.

It was obvious. It was pointless.

Look, Rizzo. I don't want to look.

Merry Christmas, Fred. Merry Christmas, Bob.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

Mr. Scrooge. Bob.

My apologies. What are you doing?

Nah. Uh uh.

No. Mineral?

Oh, boy. How the time flies.

Oh, boy. How the time flies.

Oh, yeah. Yes.

Okay. You bet. First thing.

Prove it. All right.

Rizzo! What?

Speaking of lunch... Oh, yes.

That was the speech? That was dumb.

That's definitely a point. That's a point.

That's definitely a point. That's a point.

We'll meet you at the finale. Yeah.

What now, my lovelies? A game, Fred.

What's today? Pardon?

Where? There.

Who's that? Mrs. Cratchit, of course.

Yes, sir, I do. An intelligent lad.

You called? A cockroach.

50 times! And a Merry Christmas. Here's your turkey, Mr. Scrooge.