Scrubs - Season 6 Edit

A $ 100 bill.

A 100% surgical issue.

A 20! Score!

A baby is a blessing.

A banana nut muffin and hold the spit, please.

A boy.

A bunch of brainiacs

A cancer survivor, who went on to form her own head scarf company.

A child into the world or share their lives together...

A coffee place in a hospital?

A complete idiot, we'd all like to thank you for setting up the new employee

A complimentary reach around with my beverage,

A fortune training you, only to have you take off for greener pastures.

A ghost?

A giant portion of your adult life.

A good doctor will try anything to keep them going.

A guy had a bad reaction to anesthesia,

A guy tried to die on me today, but I didn't let him.

A haunted tent.

A homeless guy threw poo in my eye.

A hypodermic needle And a latex tourniquet

A hypodermic needle and a...

A job application for The Gap.

A limo takes all the girls to the spa for a margi marti pedi party

A little memory loss humor, okay? No? All right.

A long distance girlfriend who was pregnant,

A lot of couples never make it that far.

A mutual hatred of beets isn't enough to base a relationship on.

A nuclear war, a sequel to Hope Floats, Hugh Jackman winning an Oscar...

A one in a million chance for the two of you,

A party in his room?

A second chance to define who you truly are.

A severe case of the "sulkies."

A small child vomited downstairs.

A smoking hot racist thief.

A spa.

A SPECT camera, huh?

A stapler and a golf ball.

A strike would hurt the patients.

A tip jar? Really?

A week!

A word of advice,

About a year ago, I realized it was time to wake up and get sober.

About fatherhood changing you.

About how she's going to beat me down the aisle.

About how you played my tush like a bongo

About what we're doing.

Act like professionals, damn it!

Actually impregnating another woman, SHEDAISY!

Actually, babe, I'm just heading back home.

Actually, he's my patient.

Actually, I did. I just didn't want to admit it.

Actually, I'm gonna go lie down right now.

Actually, it's Dr. Turner.

Actually, it's the only picture I have of my biological father.

Actually, my cellmates were a little scared of me.

Actually, she's my daughter.

Actually, that's a beard.

Actually, that's a very funny story.

Actually, these are fake. You all look ridiculous.

Actually, yes.

Actually, your night's just begun.

Addicts make the very best counselors

Admittedly, not a horrible idea,

After all, I'm the whiz kid.

After I became a member of the gang,

After testing out his new homemade sex lube.

After that, you can start to work on feeling like your old self again.

After the beets conversation, I confided in Kim

After what I did to you, you can name this kid whatever the hell you want.

Again.

Aggression from the Japanese!

Ah, Billy, after the Arctic and the Pacific, you're my favorite Ocean.

Ah, much better.

Ah, see, now I'm embarrassed, because that one's real.

Ah, yes, the huddled masses. Carla, I see you're trying one of

Ah! That's a good one!

Ahoy! I just wanted to update you on my trip.

Air traffic controller, gemologist, captain of industry, middle reliever,

All across the nation We trust in defecation

All better.

All done.

All for nothing?

All girl.

All I'm saying is, it's not right. The girl's only 16.

All living things.

All my little worker bees, buzzing about. Buzz, buzz.

All of it?

All right now, children,

All right, all right.

All right, baby, here it is.

All right, Bob, time to bring it home.

All right, Brian, what do you think we should set as a goal?

All right, Carla, let's check how dilated you are.

All right, champ, just in case you get hungry later on...

All right, everybody clear back.

All right, hold on.

All right, I earned that money,

All right, I'll check it out.

All right, I'm going on break. Don't touch the muffin puppet.

All right, I'm gonna go tell your sisters that this bad boy is about to pop off.

All right, Izzy,

All right, Jackie. As promised,

All right, Justin, what should my specialty be?

All right, let me ask you something

All right, let's find her a room.

All right, let's see your disgusting rash.

All right, let's take a look.

All right, listen up, gang. I'm only going to say this once.

All right, listen up, people. I am here to roll up my sleeves

All right, look, I need you to do me a solid.

All right, men. I'm going in.

All right, Mr. Mariani.

All right, Newbie, it is time to tell the masses.

All right, now hold still. Nobody likes a jagged stump.

All right, relax. You're fine. Just ice it when you get home.

All right, that's enough!

All right, this is going to be very simple.

All right, time to hit the convention floor.

All right, Trish, I'm off to the movies with my boyfriend

All right, we are definitely sexually compatible.

All right, who can tell me anything about Mr. Pierce?

All right!

All right? It wasn't long ago that I was out there,

All right.

All right.

All right. Can you think of anything else we should try?

All right. Good night.

All that minty fresh gel, but instead of minty fresh gel inside,

All the best there, soldier boy.

All the best with that, Barbidiot.

All the other neighbors Donna's barren.

All the time.

All the women in my family go psycho.

All this group anger's made me hungry

All this insecure game playing would stop, you know?

All we could do was wait for her body to give up.

All we gotta do is wait for the cameraman to get here.

All women go through the same stages once they're engaged.

All you can do is take solace in the fact that no one's getting any.

All you gotta do is agree to go to my wedding

All you have to do is close your eyes and think me away.

All you have to do is tilt your head to the left

ALL: 'Cause if you think we're singing You belong at Sacred Heart!

ALL: "Who are you and what have you done with Turk?"

ALL: Back! Carla! Back!

ALL: Diverticulitis and a barium enema

ALL: I don't feel like I accomplished anything.

ALL: I guess we all have our parts to play.

ALL: If there's no breeze Light a match please

ALL: Sometimes you're Better off not knowing

ALL: Upside down, the lily padded go cart...

ALL: We swear we won't judge you here at Sacred, here at Sacred

ALL: We're going to miss you 'round here

ALL: We're going to miss you, Carla

ALL: We're going to miss you, Carla We're going to miss you 'round here

ALL: We're saying this through our tears

ALL: Welcome! Back! Pickle!

ALL: You'll have to face the future When the truth comes out

Alligator3. Okay, you can look now.

Allowed us to get back to our own pressing issues.

Aloha! I came to see the little kahuna.

Already tore it out.

Also fires paint pellets.

Also, I want you to teach me to salsa dance.

Also, you'll never have to answer to this guy again.

Although I am a little parched. Plus I could hold back her hair.

Although I'm sure it was lovely.

Although I've often wondered

Although, little known fact,

Although, technically, they won't be skeletons for six to eight weeks.

Always thought that was weird.

Always trying to be in the game.

Am I ever going to look normal again?

Am I freakin' Puerto Rican Or Dominican?

Am I gonna be fine? I think I'm gonna be fine.

Am I right?

Am I right?

Am I still singing?

Am I?

Amen to that.

Amnesia?

Amoxicillin and clavulanic acid

Amoxicillin and clavulanic acid

An accident?

An actual war hammer.

An alternate route.

An amazing guy breaks up with you.

An I.E.D. Got our transport vehicle.

And a bigger than life character like House would just show up

And a glaring statement about your mental fragility.

And a glaring statement about your mental fragility.

And a kid at the same time?

And a Polaroid of the tomato plant that I planted last spring

And a sudden uncontrollable flailing of the upper extremities.

And accepted the job.

And Alice here, well, she can turn a phrase.

And all the windows were sealed shut.

And all they do is drink,

And as you can see, the ass is on the front.

And ask if he has hope, what am I supposed to say, "No"?

And at the end of it all,

And back to insulting you! She's been gone six weeks, Bobbo.

And before you knew it, we were a couple again.

And besides, even if I did go home she'd probably just send me out

And besides, I'm only picking on the tonsil cases,

And Britney doesn't get along with Jennifer.

And by everyone,

And by the way, I'm using the front bathroom now

And Carla's my best friend

And consider the ethical implications here.

And conveniently solve everything.

And couldn't use vowels?

And cover Jessica's shift this weekend?

And dating this amazing guy named Andy.

And did you tell him not since the late '80s

And don't forget to be home by 6:30

And don't worry about coming to my wedding,

And don't you dare tell the Hardy Girls what it is, not yet.

And Dr. Kelso was giddy because it was the first Monday of the month.

And economic imperialism.

And emotional spirals.

And even then all I did was open up an Us Magazine,

And everyone appears To be singing to you

And everyone keeps mistaking me for an employee.

And eyes that were either sky blue, powder blue,

And failed to anesthetize the periosteum adequately?

And felt the familiar light headedness I get right before a poo faint...

And for extra fun, guess who I got to replace you?

And for some reason, whenever I think about them,

And for that, I want to thank you.

And FYI, don't lean over him, he's handsy.

And get married and have a kid when I'm 50.

And get me anything with Viggo something sen.

And gets confused by stuff that wouldn't faze a five year old.

And Gilligan 'cause I lost that bet to Turk.

And give up, I'd have saved myself the huge hassle,

And go!

And goodbye, Dr. Reid.

And guess who's on call?

And have a private practice doctor die due to his own idiocy,

And he agreed to fly into town and bash your head in.

And he sticks the landing.

And he tenderly replies

And he was funny and inspiring.

And he'll never trust you again.

And he's gonna help me with your diagnosis.

And head out on the town.

And hello, nappy nap.

And her grandson kept trying to poke his tiny little finger up my butt.

And here I thought it was to root out terrorists.

And here we are.

And here's a picture of your mom to watch over you.

And here's the best part. Tell them!

And how clean this place has been ever since

And how I sometimes pass out when I poo,

And how Laverne had been there for me.

And how much easier life would be for my son if Kim and I were together.

And hypertension, two conditions you often see in very angry people.

And I can help out Dr. Cox,

And I can't even imagine how much that sucks.

And I can't have her digging up the skeletons in my closet.

And I could never be mad at Kim for giving me a bad surprise

And I couldn't be more giddy.

And I couldn't bring myself to go under, so I just started, you know,

And I don't know what else to say except

And I fall asleep in the sun. Don't page me.

And I find it odd that a month after I start working here,

And I get to go on one movie date

And I got a little over excited.

And I got my lip mole stuck in the zipper of my puffy coat.

And I gotta tell you, man, I mean,

And I guess I was hoping that you'd want me to have it here.

And I haven't even begun to think about asking anyone else out,

And I hesitate to say you did What Judas done to Jesus

And I just want you to know that's not gonna fly with me.

And I know this is going to sound selfish and crazy,

And I know this reasoning's about as rational

And I know, I know,

And I like cotton, but I think we should get a cotton blend

And I mean that. I really do.

And I missed it, Turk. I'm screwed.

And I need you to be here right now.

And I plan on doing that every day for the rest of my life.

And I pushed you out the door,

And I realized if I replayed them all in my head back to back,

And I said, "I don't know. The Chief Accountant, Charles Fickinson

And I say, "Christopher Turk, at your cervix."

And I still got, like, 400 more pages to go.

And I struggled with that for years, I still do.

And I thought I could do this on my own,

And I thought that we were only together

And I trick him into marrying me?

And I understood how my friends felt,

And I want them to wear green. Forest, not lime.

And I was already kind of looking forward

And I was always going to want you not to.

And I was crushed.

And I was like, "That's not 'the patient,' that's Laverne," you know?

And I was so shocked I could barely move?

And I will cheese grate your nerps.

And I would like to keep that going.

And I'm coming after you today.

And I'm gonna need you to be there to help me through this.

And I'm gonna try to keep from hating the unborn baby

And I'm like, "What was I thinking?"

And I'm meeting the O.B. At the hospital in two hours.

And I'm not giving it back and there's nothing you can do to make me.

And I'm not talking about the good kind of whores, like my ex wife.

And I'm relatively certain

And I've made reservations at various gay dance clubs.

And if I quit believing that there was a bigger plan behind all this, well,

And it is a secret because Jordan had pre natal surgery for hydronephrosis,

And it just doesn't feel like we are anymore.

And it was like,

And it won't affect their work, but they're wrong.

And it'll be embarrassing for me to open it here at the hospital.

And it's no different for any of us.

And it's taken me a long time to convince my mom,

And J.D.'s imitation of a black guy is really racist.

And Johnny's got a tattoo on the same cheek that says Bobby.

And just go ahead and eat the entire mattress.

And just hope that our paths cross again, someday.

And just how could you be so sure of that?

And just like that, they regressed

And just when it couldn't get any better...

And keep an eye on Lupita.

And Kenyan Intern, can you answer me this?

And kids are great...

And Leonard the security guard and...

And listen, anytime you need a weekend to yourself,

And me? Well, I'm funny because I commit

And me.

And minimize the damage to the lungs.

And Mr

And Mrs. Sheldon and Mr. Bilbray have been doing a little talking.

And my mentor, who was equally upset, but didn't want to show it.

And my mom booked a flight for next week,

And my motor skills are shot. Hell, I can't even write.

And my OB said that my mucus plug is holding firm,

And my rib crushing corset and my nipple tape?

And no asking "What happened?" After I go.

And not getting anywhere.

And now I have this really weird feeling.

And now it's disgusting.

And now it's gone. I kind of miss it.

And now that day has come.

And now that I am one I feel like I'm not cut out for it.

And now you're worried about your hand?

And now, if we slide the wand over here,

And now, shadow puppet theater.

And now, thanks to me, your sisters in Chicago

And other acquaintances, who were much more loyal than I thought.

And over here we have Dr. Turtlehead, who is suffering from

And overpaying the escorts so they'll do the weird stuff,

And overpaying the escorts so they'll do the weird stuff,

And phone sex is out of the question, because I'm a righty when I talk on

And play him like your little bitch boy.

And playing Slug Bug.

And put an end to all this nonsense, so we can get back to work.

And record.

And Republicans will forever try to raise...

And right now I'm giving Lloyd here a tryout.

And say it with this face.

And she is angry because you didn't call ahead.

And she said it with a straight face.

And she said,

And she said, "It's over, Turk.

And she was amazing.

And she wasn't ready to take the ring off yet.

And she won't let me take her to see a doctor.

And she'd be "J.D." forever.

And should arrive ahead of schedule.

And show you that I'm really just a nice guy

And since that's very difficult for me,

And since you believe that everything happens for a reason,

And since your fancy private practice has one of those SPECT cameras,

And sleep with it in between her legs.

And Snoop Dogg Intern.

And so can we.

And so is this. Way to hit that, playah!

And so it begins, again.

And some nice kid like yourself's gonna pay the price.

And some of us, unfortunately, are meant to be hated.

And some that had just begun

And sometimes a deal can ruin everything.

And sometimes it takes a little while to realize that.

And sometimes it's easier to hide

And spent all my extra time catching up on Newbie's pathetic blog.

And spin!

And still matter? Let me see if I can make this real clear for you.

And such good practice for when my daughter grows up.

And suddenly I knew what it felt like to be universally despised.

And sure, he's taken a sleeping pill,

And teach them a trade like plumbing or undertaking.

And Ted, you'll be playing Blonde Doctor.

And thanks a lot because the one hour that Kim and I had to actually talk,

And thanks for answering my page. I really want to rent this place,

And thanks for playing along with that hideous suit, Ted.

And thanks for sending down an extra set of hands.

And that I just had a baby that I was hoping

And that is how I got my name.

And that is why our brains are maxed

And that's a big bowl of swishy liquid. Damn it!

And that's all I've got.

And that's coming from a man who knows a teensy bit about adversity.

And that's Dr. Kelso The kiss ass of Sacred Heart

And that's his heart, right there.

And that's when you head to the nearest frat house,

And that's why Heather will never look attractive to you again.

And that's why I'm not going to tell anybody anything

And that's why we're watching football in the spring.

And the bad ones that make you mad.

And the dead science fiction writer he worships.

And the fact I graduated high school in 1990.

And the fact that you'd be willing to skip seeing

And the in your head thing out loud!

And the Janitor was killing time in the way he always does.

And the last movie I went to see was The Blair Witch Project,

And the little things can make a big difference.

And the next time Dr. Cox walked into the ICU,

And the ones who end up suffering the most

And the people in the coffins are us.

And the photographer that I reserve every year under a different alias.

And the point is, sometimes settling works.

And the quote on this coffee cup attributed to Dr. Reid...

And the rabbit head because my uncle once ate rabbit and he got belly worms.

And the ring fit perfectly,

And then afterwards Mr. Shemin, the emcee, said,

And then cuddle, and then go shoe shopping.

And then dudes turning to hot chicks and being all like,

And then I got really angry that you left me.

And then I got this kit in case you want to bronze the umbilical cord

And then I realized that my dad had hugged me at my graduation.

And then I'll get depressed and fat,

And then it goes along, and then skips this area,

And then let your mind run free, like an eagle.

And then make him take her wherever she wanted to go.

And then maybe, you know,

And then my best friend, Cindy MacNamara,

And then one day I found out that he was sleeping with his students,

And then pretend to care about underprivileged people.

And then put Mrs. Nawabi's heart surgery on the TV.

And then secretly call me from the bathroom right after, or not?

And then segue into an anecdote

And then she reached for a hit

And then starts hurting again here, and then, of course, there's the tinglies.

And then the next morning do the walk of shame to your Beamer.

And then they just picked me out of the lake and took me home.

And then this would happen.

And then when Izzy was born, Tiger Woods arm swing.

And then you did the most amazing thing of all.

And then you just left me stranded there at that bar

And then you smell them.

And then you'll get to spend every waking moment

And then you're gonna talk to her because you're a good person.

And then...

And there is no escaping this one.

And there weren't that many guys to choose from,

And there's my opening joke.

And there's no room for things like Birthdays or ethnicities

And there's one.

And they said it's not uncommon for a woman to get pregnant

And think about all the things I'll miss about being a doctor.

And this Friday, at the steel cage medi slam,

And this is the guy that killed my mom with a snowmobile.

And this place is too public for me to arouse them

And this right here is my dope ass Mercedes, okay?

And this way you only have to freak out for a couple of hours,

And tied them up, pirate style. Now, we can do whatever we want,

And time. That's 20 minutes!

And today, nothing could dampen his spirits,

And tomatoes can turn you red.

And tomatoes turn you red, what color would he most likely turn

And trouble walking is you have peripheral arterial disease.

And use it as a key chain. I practiced at home on some calamari.

And vascular surgery here is way too risky for a guy that age.

And wants to know why his lips taste like asphalt.

And was admitted with community acquired pneumonia.

And we all told her how beautiful she was,

And we can begin our tour.

And we decided not to have sex because,

And we decided to pull a prank that we used to do back in the day.

And we thought you might want to come back up.

And we want to make sure everything's okay with the kid

And we went at it like drunk monkeys.

And we were trying to decide what to do.

And we're gonna have to go through this whole thing all over again.

And we've been as logical as we can here,

And we've still got nothing.

And what bothers me about it is that I know this is going on,

And what did the patient do, Doctor?

And what if I don't like the outfits

And what the hell have you two been doing all morning?

And when a divisive issue rears its head,

And when I finally did ask Anne out, she said no.

And when I say, "I love you, Turk"

And when it does, I'm gonna be here and I'm gonna enjoy...

And when you say Lord, you mean Halliburton, right?

And why are you standing here doing nothing?

And why is that, Turk?

And why is that?

And why the hell are you giving out relationship advice, anyway?

And will I be alive tomorrow?

And will pass out the new weekly schedules before your shifts are over.

And wished you were different in every single way?

And without trust, everything falls apart.

And yet you came into my office and you sat on me.

And yet, you two still nauseate me more.

And you and I are gonna play a little game called "hide the wingtip."

And you and I would probably be best friends.

And you are not climbing into the cockpit of a rocket ship,

And you can use our camera.

And you cheat on me and I swear to God,

And you couldn't just give her a little hope?

And you didn't get mad at me when I insisted

And you don't want to be around me when I'm pregnant.

And you got hit in the face with a paddle.

And you guys can video chat whenever you want.

And you just gave my baby to Rochelle, the only nurse to get kicked out of

And you know damn well I would never be that inappropriate.

And you know that half glass of wine

And you know that he would be an excellent godfather for our little girl.

And you said you guys were only naked underneath the covers

And you, Nurse Ipanema.

And you, stop eating the potpourri and get back to work.

And you're all checked in and I got you an orderly

And you're ashamed of that?

And you're just trying to squeeze out

And you're not walking away from that.

And you're standing over him while he sleeps,

And you're taking a mop?

And, as you know, that ghost's entire family was killed

And, Bernice, could you do me a major large

And, even though I never

And, for your dignity's sake,

And, honestly, aside from having to, by law,

And, lastly, I'm in a little bit of a tiff with the main barista down at Coffee Bucks.

And, no, no, I'm not Superman.

And, of course, playing the cantankerous Chief of Medicine,

And, of course, Ted.

And, oh, my God, stop telling me When you have nerdy sex

And, thirdly, how could you go to the mall without me?

And, unfortunately, processed flour. No, thank you.

And, yeah, my life was still in the crapper, but it felt good to finally

And?

And... Whoa, this is a picture of my unit.

ANNE: Hi, Brian.

ANNO UNCER ON PA: This is the final boarding call for Action Air, flight 65.

ANNOUNCER ON RADIO: Welcome to Sports Talk.

Another one!

Answer me!

Any idea where he is?

Any last minute shots you want to take at me?

Any other day, I'd say "No," but today, I'm gonna go ahead

Any other day, I'd say "No," but today, I'm gonna go ahead

Anybody got any extra ketchup packets?

Anyhoo, she finally broke him down with this little ditty.

Anyhoo, there was some unexpected friendly fire.

Anyhow, I swam out to the middle of the lake

Anyone else have a question? Yes, you in the back.

Anyone else want to go?

Anyone that's going to the christening...

Anything to make the long distance easier, right?

Anything. Just three quick questions.

Anyway, back to the present.

Anyway, eventually I realized that your troubles don't seem so bad

Anyway, for your 16th birthday, my gift to you is to show you

Anyway, go fix this for me.

Anyway, he taught me everything about streaming video

Anyway, he used to give us these pop quizzes all the time.

Anyway, his best friend, Curt, knocked me up.

Anyway, I hope you like it. See you.

Anyway, I know it's hard to believe,

Anyway, I should have told you guys

Anyway, I spoke to the gals up in OBG

Anyway, I was helping Phil with his whole new denim look.

Anyway, I was thinking we need new table linens for the dining room.

Anyway, I've got enough yes men, you've got a spine, join my practice.

Anyway, let's do this. Just stay cool.

Anyway, Newbie, the reason I came down here was to tell you

Anyway, small favor. I need your baby.

Anyway, the aforementioned Express

Anyway, Todd and Ted are gonna get 20 bucks from me to tape you

Anywhere you and I aren't talking. Go.

Apart from having a fake hip,

Apparently, he's doing the "fatty" dance.

Apparently, I like bananas, and whoa, I'm getting more surgery tomorrow?

Apparently, mine did not get us all the way there.

Apparently, they served spaghetti for lunch,

Appy Birthday, sweetheart. We'll talk later.

Are caffeine and nicotine.

Are coated in the toddler vomit I told you to clean up earlier.

Are gonna be all together in the same room.

Are not allowed in the hospital?

Are roughly on a par with me finding the Loch Ness monster

Are team sports. However, I'm here and I'm totally psyched to hear

Are the ones we're here to protect

Are there any other questions?

Are there any questions?

Are they gonna come in and shave me soon?

Are we clear?

Are you crazy? You could get sued.

Are you going to let me down any time soon?

Are you hungry, sweetie?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? I can't just up and leave.

Are you kidding? My girlfriend wasn't the only one

Are you looking for a Caucasian boy or more exotic fare?

Are you okay, ma'am?

Are you on call tonight or will you be busy fighting Superman?

Are you questioning the way I do my job?

Are you really that immature?

Are you really trying to tell me

Are you sure?

Are you watching Sesame Street?

Are you with me? You are! I know I am.

Aren't we sharing fantastic lies

Aren't you getting tired of taking care of him?

Aren't you supposed to do surgery on that guy today?

Arm re attachment, Milos?

Arrison's been looking for a new power bottom.

As a matter of fact, I already did.

As a reminder that surgeons really are simply ignorant scalpel jocks.

As far as Mr. Pierce goes, he has your run of the mill pulmonary embolism.

As for me, ever since my pregnant girlfriend left,

As for me, I finally came through, even if it was a little late.

As for me, I was just excited to have the opportunity

As for Turk and I, we had just checked on a patient who had a pig valve

As I acted like a flag, I sensed that the janitor

As I looked at all the relationships around me,

As in, "Man, he sure has a positive outlook on life." Right?

As long as he gets done.

As long as we make it all about J.D.

As long as you avoid the bathrooms On the second floor

As long as you're not saying goodbye.

As manager, I reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.

As my country burned to ground.

As quickly as it should have been,

As she was when we were 19.

As some of you know, I'm not a huge fan of fire, okay?

As soon as I change out of these clothes, I'm out of here!

As to why Private Practice Barbie has a beef

As we real doctors do, but you're miles ahead

As you can imagine, he's having a pretty tough time with all of this.

As you can see here,

As you correctly pointed out, the only thing he loved more than

As your parents actually thinking they could raise you as a boy, but...

Ask again later!

Ask Heather out on a date

Ask her a random question I knew she'd say yes to.

Ask him to repeat it.

Asking for your opinion about what I did?

Assuming I'd grow old

Assuming I'd have time

At first, I thought I was just being mean,

At least Buzz agreed not to call the cops if I don't tell

At least I think it was a sex dream. He was trying to choke me.

At least not enthusiastically, I... I got clean.

At least you got back in the game, right?

At Lincoln Middle School on 18th Street.

At macking?

At the beach and we're both wearing jeans. Isn't that crazy?

At the end, Keith will show up to carry you out the door,

At the Healing Feast, but you wouldn't believeth

Attend some lectures, visit some booths,

Attending? You don't have the training for that.

Awesome ceiling fan.

Awesome, awesome! Okay.

Awesome!

Awesome.

B.P.'s falling.

Babe, I like this tuxedo more than the one you picked out.

Babe, should the valets at our reception wear green or red vests?

Babe, where were you?

Babe, you know I know the truth

Babies are known to be sticky, and the average cost of raising a child

Baby, ain't nobody looking at you.

Baby, changed my mind.

Baby, don't worry, you have nothing to be threatened by.

Baby, I don't even understand the question.

Baby, I had a big old lunch, now I got the downtown pushdowns.

Baby, I need permission to road trip J.D.. To Tacoma

Baby, let's go see the doctor.

Baby, listen. I'm not angry that you got stuck.

Baby, remember, we're supposed to renew

Baby, so, after I take this kid back to the nursery, I was thinking

Baby, will you do me a favor tonight that requires no effort on your part?

Baby?

Baby?

Back to work!

Bad, Jason, no!

Bagel.

Balls can be dropped.

Bam, bam, bam, bam!

Bang.

Banging a black guy when she was in college?

Barbie can handle this on her own. She is an adult.

Barbie is funniest when she's an anal retentive train wreck,

Barbie, I have the most exciting news to tell you!

Basketball dribbling, blood sugar watching, idiotic man boy.

Bathroom break.

Be careful, he's going fetal.

Be careful, it's actually around here somewhere.

Be careful, though, because around here,

Be dealing with it on my own.

Be like this kid's sergeant and get back in the game,

Be strong, you can get more.

Beat this, beat this, beat this, beat...

Beautiful morning.

Because

Because a few weeks ago, I got back together with a woman

Because at least she was straight with me.

Because at one time you served some function,

Because both of those things require you to throw all of yourself into them.

Because even though I know you don't

Because from time to time I like to throw back a few blue bombers

Because he felt it instilled confidence.

Because he's always calling me Lurch.

Because his peep won't perform!

Because I can't care for my own child.

Because I cannot wear my "going out" thong if I've got sand in my patootie.

Because I couldn't stand it for two hours, let alone six years

Because I couldn't wait to rub a little jelly on your treasure trail.

Because I got on anti depressants and now I don't feel that way.

Because I had taken Old MC's advice over his

Because I have been invited to Blonde Doctor's wedding.

Because I know deep down you really care about him

Because I pushed him into it, okay?

Because I respect you too much and you're kind of a big gal.

Because I should brush my teeth.

Because I stuff.

Because I sure don't see any wedding rings!

Because I swear I'll never clue you in again

Because I think it...

Because I want every detail of our wedding

Because I was pregnant and so I lied,

Because I wouldn't go to your wedding if it was held in my very own backyard.

Because I'm right, and I'm the only one with any proof.

Because I'm sorry, I'm... I'm just not buying that.

Because I'm the biggest idiot in the whole entire world.

Because I'm worried it may have snails.

Because if this goes wrong, then the wedding goes wrong,

Because it has a hook on the door so I can hang up my pants.

Because it's not a real dance.

Because my father was late for church.

Because my Grandma Lottie still thinks I'm a virgin,

Because of the dog thing,

Because otherwise I'm very limited.