30 Rock - Season 6 Edit

A "bear y" happy Valentine's Day.

A $50,000 benihana gift card?

A big mistake.

A big romantic surprise for me

A birthmark.

A bonus profit opportunity.

A boring romantic evening into a gigantic fight

A braided necklace with a shark's tooth on it.

A bunch of music that I paid for?

A child therapist's office.

A city that needs a leader

A civil war...

A conversation I had with Tracy Jordan.

A Cosmo's five points?

A Costco run, huh?

A couple months ago, she cut off my ponytail

A crack whore convention?

A crate with a new giraffe in it, and broccoli.

A day to do the things you ordinarily wouldn't do.

A demonstration of who's in control of this city.

A disgusting disappointment.

A drawer full of leaky batteries

A dumb mistake.

A fella can come up with folksy similes.

A few more Liz Lemons.

A former lover of Liz's....

A friend of Donaghy's, eh?

A girl named Jay nuh!

A great song.

A guy with two first names? Next

A hallucinogenic plant extract that makes sex terrifying.

A hundreed thousands senseless dents.

A janitor or a security guard or some black...

A ******* star.

A Kouchtown couch.

A lot of people didn't realize that was

A lot of trouble to show me that.

A love letter. Who sent this to you?

A magnolia tree in spring,

A man who, years ago, was on top of the world,

A man.

A man. It raises some red flags.

A meaningless job, I can't get my wife back.

A media savvy crackhead, I know.

A mermaid!

A message from the president of the United States.

A million hours.

A moment, please.

A month later, he and I went hunting in Mexico.

A mustache

A name for cocaine I just made up?

A negotiation trick.

A one year vocational program where you learn to bang on doors

A page named hazel.

A Parcell man has never been called "mister"

A play on Leap Day William?

A pledge which, sadly, has not been fulfilled.

A poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

A protest? By whom?

A real one.

A real problem is losing your giant scissors

A recommendation from you

A round Robin paddle tennis tournament.

A rule NBC still uses today.

A second chance this year

A serious conversation right now.

A show on Christmas, no gross merchandising,

A song I've been fiddling wazzle.

A St. Patrick's day lesson.

A state of pure inner peace,

A statement from TGS head writer Elizabeth Lemon, adding...

A stress position.

A suitable sex partner for Liz Lemon.

A T shirt company probably?

A task I knew deep down

A telethon and cheese steaks.

A Thanks Christmas Valen Easter Ween of July party.

A transvestite cruise for the last month.

A villain with an accent.

A voyager on a vast ocean of pleasure.

A white male in his 30s.

A white man who still buys Cadillacs.

A wife.

A woman's power comes from her silence.

A young boy's heart on the day of leap.

Aaaa!

Aaaaachh.

Aaah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Redire ad abyssum!

Abner, I'm home from work.

About a TV show they're watching,

About being too old for something.

About forgiveness... It was beautiful.

About h wives this long.

About his sexual performance?

About how amazing the Irish are at not overcoming adversity?

About how there are so few women on death row.

About love and friendship,

About mortality.

About motherhood lately.

About my upcoming project.

About obama for me.

About our feelings and sobbing

About replacing the light bulbs in your room,

About taking chances,

About the baby miners.

About the hot dog truck or locally sourced pig sweepings.

About the image you're presenting as a black man.

About the logo change.

About the rich earning all of their money away from them.

About the true meaning of Leap Day.

About this year's parade.

About time.

About to arch.

About what my mother in law said in my office.

About what?

About which you know nothing.

About who puts the star on top of the tree.

Above the Plaza Mayor.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. Frankly,

Absorbent fabric for nap drool.

According to your Christmas letter,

Aces!

Acronym?

Across the way, his friend liz think courteney cox

Act two is a play within a play.

Actor time out.

Actress Denise Richards.

Actresses?

Actually she took me that first night.

Actually, I borrowed that book from my mother,

Actually, I called it.

Actually, I think the mean thing may have run its course.

Actually, I want to talk to you about something else.

Actually, I'll have you know

Actually, Mr. Spurlock,

Actually, Paula didn't want to do anything for Valentine's,

Actually, we had a different idea.

Ad rock, I'm going to tell you

Adam is going to be so excited to meet with you.

Adam isn't upset about us.

Adam locked himself in the bathroom.

Adam, trust me.

Adam, we hear you're a Yankees fan.

Adam, we want to help

Adam.

Adam's acting like us.

Add another zero, Ken.

Admit it's annoying when Bono comes around.

Admitting I'm in love with her twin sister.

After 6 years, I've cheered up miss Lemon.

After all of our time together?

After all, I am your mentor,

After all, we're both Princeton men.

After all, when a dog goes missing,

After an ice fishing trip gone awry.

After def eating him in golf today

After going head to head with you for the last five years,

After high school, I went on rumspringa.

After I dropped my cell phone into the penguin exhibit.

After I got your tenth text message,

After I meditate.

After I'd fixed Pete.

After mixing alcohol with prescription... exhaustion.

After six years of listening to you complain

After six years, there's still room

After spending the holidays alone.

After the coffee contest, we'll start working.

After what happened betwixt you this morning?

After what happened last year?

After you missed all her leap days,

After you PMS ed about their names yesterday,

After you took me down.

Again, you waste of my time!

Again? No way. I have too much to lose now.

Again.

Against a real adversary, me...

Against myself.

Against weird al yankovic?

Agh!

Agh!

Agh.

Ah you keep it up, Doris and bang, zoom,

Ah, but I'm already in your head, Lemon.

Ah, Elizabeth.

Ah, finally, tables.

Ah, forget it. This is taking too long.

Ah, going to the movies.

Ah, good morning, fellow patriots.

Ah, it didn't go to 60, it went to 6.

Ah, it's burning my face now.

Ah, let's keep walking,

Ah, no, damn it.

Ah, size 12, that's what I am.

Ah, so... How was your day?

Ah, there you are.

Ah, we had a good time tonight.

Ah, yes, the Jessup case.

Ah, yes, well, we've done some focus testing, and frankly

Ah, yes. I believe it was entitled...

Ah!

Ah! I rolled my ankle. God!

Ah! Why is family a selling point?

Ah.

Ah... I'm allergic!

Aha! The only reason you would reject that offer

Aha! What do you think? Pretty awesome,

Ahead of you first, and then you walk?

Ahoy there.

Alaska, what are you talking about?

Alex Mccord, Real housewives of New York.

Alexandorp McKing, Diana Von Fistenbug,

Alfie, I's done stole this catfish.

Alfonso Disparioso, everybody.

All I can think about is how quickly it can all go away.

All I had was a Chewbacca costume

All I have here are tuxedo cufflinks

All I have to do is shoot a commercial

All I know is I'm gonna stay out

All I want is an opportunity, sir, to once again work

All I want is Jack and Liz get together.

All I want is one extraordinary moment.

All I wanted was a standing ovation and for people to tweet

All I wanted was one shred of evidence

All in favor of keeping "TGS" live?

All in good time, Jack.

All in the comfort of our own living room.

All is forgiven.

All my children were taken away.

All My Children... was cancelled.

All my favorite things.

All my life, I have been the third wheel

All my suits are my late father's...

All our dirtbag knowledge is going to go to waste.

All relaxed and not angry.

All right, bro bro, let's just be cool,

All right, Chros, all right.

All right, Felcher, you don't have to talk like that.

All right, here comes a lady.

All right, I gotta go back to work, bye.

All right, I'll do it.

All right, I'm out.

All right, I'm putting you on probationary approval.

All right, kids.

All right, mustard only.

All right, now let's hurry up and edit this thing.

All right, so I'll make one

All right, Tracy, let's buckle down.

All right, Tracy, let's buckle down.

All right, we obviously have some problems to sort out,

All right, well, look, to do everything,

All right, you can watch me shower, but no touching.

All right.

All right.

All right. Let's start with salary.

All set, Jack.

All six pawn shop reality shows

All sweaty with your tool belt

All the favors that you called in,

All the miners there are babies.

All the way to the tiger,

All the world's a stage, kenneth.

All they teach us now is how to build rollercoasters

All things considered, it kinda feels like it's just...

All you can do is sink down into the filth.

All you've done is lie to me.

All your old lovers come out of the woodwork.

Allow yourself to be reborn.

Almost there, teammate.

Alphabet soup.

Alright this is idiotic. We got a show to do.

Alright, whoever this is,

Also I menstruate a lot.

Also I'm being told that commander James Lovell...

Also, Ethiopian is out,

Also, FOX News is right across the street,

Also, I caused that Italian cruise ship to crash.

Also, I have too much dignity.

Also, I hear Pippa Middleton couldn't come today

Also, I thought you might want

Also, Jason, if you think you're passing for straight,

Also, maybe I'm in a good mood

Also, my friend, Darryl, is your real father.

Also, TV viewers liked when in a show is a song.

Although I do expect a note of apology.

Although I do let children drink wine there.

Although I don't know for sure, because I refuse to read

Although I'm trying to get people at school

Although we have done nothing that lesbians could not do.

Although, a vow renewal is a little tacky,

Although, during my financial report

Although, only seven of us graduated that year

Always.

Am crushing it today.

Am going to go to town on every last one of them.

Am I in your head, Lemon?

Am I supposed not to mention the fact

Am I supposed to just scratch the surface

Am I talking too loud?

Am I the last one in this city

Am I the only person who saw

Am I the worst person you know?

Amateur hour.

Amazing news, Liz.

America.

America's only all caps magazine,

America's sweetheart type.

American couches.

American engineers.

Amy, this is great.

Amy, we can't both be the negative, judgmental one.

An amazing rendition of "What's the guy's name

An ambitious pickle, murder king Ronald.

An American couch...

An email confirmation in Frank's name for one ticket

An epic Leap Day party this afternoon

An hour for the year?

An hour, tops.

An important me nouncement

An olympic archer, fourth guitarist in Loverboy...

An orangutan.

An owner thinks of his dog.

And "Chris" is spelled?

And "noid," which is some sort of a...

And "sweet child, sit yo' black ass down!"

And "unicorn" with...

And a big surprise from my husband.

And a black family tried to buy me.

And a desk lamp that I control,

And a dining room table?

And a little basketball hoop on it.

And a little bun, just boop, like that.

And a motorcycle?

And a wonderful new show from D.L. Hughley

And after spending all season ripping cute kids new ones,

And against whom will you be casting this spell?

And all my nonsense.

And all of America is just waiting for that

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

And all the while lighting a fire with that hot ass.

And all these cameras are around,

And also, we're out of soda at home.

And also, you saw Tracy Jordan do 11 pushups.

And although I left my country divided by war,

And although I left my country divided by war,

And are likely annoying his co workers

And as difficult as it might be,

And as it turns out, amnesty international

And as of last night, brother Jason Segel.

And at first, I was like, "please

And Avery wouldn't approve of him.

And battle for world domination.

And beautiful ceremony

And before you die, I want you to know that I know.

And believe me, I get it. This shouldn't work.

And boss around those ******* executives

And both sets of genitals!

And buy the biggest rhubarb there is.

And buy yourself something cute?

And by your "assistant,"

And Central Park jogger memorial highway.

And clean out your life savings?

And clearly this is only going to get worse.

And come on, didn't our friends the ancient Olmecs

And come out of the dressing room like,

And connected with my son!

And continue this, uh...

And country.

And designing Kate Middleton's wedding gown.

And did I mention...

And discuss whether the chair would be better...

And do not send Brent up there.

And do not write another sketch about krang

And do you know what event was held

And do you know what Hank wants to do with that money?

And Dollhouse penis syndrome.

And don't try to make it funny. Just apologize.

And drove it to Mardi Gras!

And ends up as just a rant against women.

And escort prices going way up.

And establish a trading post in Midgar.

And even if other people say to you,

And even if we don't there's only two other channels, so who cares?

And eventually, it gets all of us.

And eventually, the throne of 1,000 kings.

And everybody was like, "what?"

And factories provide three things

And fall off of the waterfall.

And feed you to the neighbor's dogs.

And female eunuchs of the furniture industry.

And for my birthday,

And for once I'm not overthinking everything,

And for once I'm not talking about

And for what?

And four flaming horses rode by.

And freeze up when they got mugged.

And from now on, you have to say,

And get a real job so that you can earn for your future.

And get discovered by Hollywood.

And glass is a commodity that you all need,

And go and find someone who will truly make you happy.

And go eat some fruit, like a Frenchman?

And good friends do favors for each other.

And got a copy of the application

And got into a shoving match with your aunt

And got you this free pamphlet.

And got your dad a book on world war ii that he already owned.

And grandkids can't be far behind,

And guess what... I didn't do anything.

And guy who shot Malcolm X Boulevard.

And happy two week anniversary of you going to the bathroom

And hasn't said "I love you" yet.

And have a daughter you also name Tracy.

And have some fun.

And have the most romantic notte of your lives.

And he did not want to.

And he got so nervous he threw up.

And he has a watch, and an office with a trash can

And he hates it that I make more money than he does.

And he is a genitally androgynous pinhead.

And he plays as hard as he works because, damn it,

And he wanted to leave as soon as possible.

And he wants to be here.

And he's coming out of his shell

And he's fired.

And he's in trouble, too,

And he's not even dead.

And he's planning to attend.

And he/she has his/her baseball glove and baby.

And hear stories. Here's one.

And her crying on the second one.

And her friends... Concerned.

And her son, Lyle, has a learning disability.

And heroin and then never come back.

And his baby daughter to do it.

And his growing bones need tar to hold them together.

And his sexpectations will be high.

And hit something!

And holding hands with a black girl.

And hope I dream about that latina security guard.

And how his arms smell of bread.

And I already had a bloomin' onion today.

And I already have one of those.

And I also wish you,

And I am so cold!

And I am sorry I compared you to my late husband.

And I appreciate everything you did, so...

And I believes you can catch a rainbow in your hat.

And I bet Colleen agrees with me.

And I brought back a bunch of oriental sex powders."

And I can get a jazz cd and a ham sandwich.

And I can wear sneakers and jeans on Friday

And I can't be your girlfriend,

And I can't believe I've wasted it on you.

And I choose a televised proposal.

And I could eat a horse.

And I couldn't go 'cause I had piano,

And I couldn't go another minute without being around

And I decided to cross it carrying my brick collection.

And I definitely can't be around my family.

And I did not give it to him.

And I did not like the answer.

And I didn't dream that I was a sex slave

And I didn't want to ruin what was happening between us.

And I do respect you.

And I don't even know what organization

And I don't know about girls.

And I don't know how much longer I can do it.

And I don't know if I should.

And I don't know if you know this, kenneth,

And I don't know much about politics or the like.

And I don't know, maybe we're not supposed to have a plant together.

And I don't need some dumb dating website.

And I don't want you to know that the world

And I dropped her off at the office.

And I found razmig banging the fattest chick I've ever seen.

And I found this baby princess Leia costume

And I get kidnapped.

And I go back to sleeping on the floor

And I got a family to support, like a man.

And I got a tour bus stop right there.

And I got this meditation candle for 80% off.

And I have no choice but to play the hillbilly auction.

And I have taken up meditation thanks to my boyfriend Criss.

And I have to stop Pete from shaving his head.

And I haven't even gotten to the good news yet.

And I haven't met her yet.

And I heard your voice.

And I hope right now he is also

And I just don't know what to do now.

And I just have to say

And I just wish I had never been born!

And I keep getting my neighborallure magazine

And I know a little bit about suffering

And I know how hard those men work.

And I know how that feels,

And I know I would hate it if you kept something

And I know it'll all blow over eventually,

And I know that you were once a police officer.

And I know this is hard for you to hear...

And I know you and Paul disgust everyone.

And I know you won't do anything weird on the air.

And I know, of course, that you're not seeing anyone,

And I lost all my contacts

And I met him when he was just a colonel.

And I need someone in my life

And I need them now.

And I need to tone down my natural aura

And I put that Afghan all over you

And I say stuff like, "whoo wee!"

And I see that you've done very well for yourself.

And I should just feel excited and relieved, but...

And I should know.

And I should not have walked past that sporting goods store

And I shouldn't have been trying to get you

And I solved the big case from earlier!

And I still can't get my wife's story on the air.

And I think something a little more fun

And I think this blind item in the Post

And I thought it might fit Liddy.

And I thought the opening credits

And I thought you were just emotionally infantile.

And I threw you into some garbage.

And I told him to propose tonight on TG

And I treated her like garbage.

And I try to get him pregnant.

And I want the video for my new single

And I want to get home in time to baptize her.

And I was gonna go to prison for you.

And I was kept in a pit

And I wasn't ready to get married.

And I will do whatever it takes to keep avery's plight

And I will find you something else here at the company.

And I will have it.

And I, Jenna Maroney,

And I'd go to the spring football with my friends,

And I'll finally get the acceptance

And I'll have to go to some school in the middle of nowhere,

And I'll stop, if you never speak to Liz again.

And I'll take your gold...

And I'm about to get raw with you.

And I'm all like,

And I'm ashamed of you, Ms. Lemon

And I'm glad to see the endgame of feminism

And I'm going to get it back for you.

And I'm going to start making real arrests.

And I'm gonna be on the show a lot.

And I'm gonna die trying!

And I'm gonna let you finish, but I just gotta say,

And I'm gonna love you no matter what.

And I'm gonna make sure you get all the credit.

And I'm gonna start pulling my weight, like a man.

And I'm gonna throw that thing in front of a train.

And I'm having a go at cycling,

And I'm including making it through the '80s

And I'm just so emotional right now.

And I'm just spitballing here...

And I'm not about to wear them with a suit...

And I'm not used to change.

And I'm offended by what you're implying.

And I'm saying his name with an "h" and only one "s",

And I'm Scott Scottsman...

And I'm sorry about the juice,

And I'm sorry that I can't just be a normal person

And I'm sorry, but for my own reasons...

And I'm still so young. Don't worry.

And I'm supposed to get into an elephant costume

And I'm taking advantage of it.

And I'm up to date on my mortgage payments

And I've admitted defeat.

And I've gone to and worked at the post office.

And I've got something big planned.

And I've lost tons of blood weight.

And I've met Jaleel White.

And I've never "mommy daddy sheet monstered" myself.

And I've really learned my lesson.

And idiots can do anything we put our minds to.

And if a kid is something that you still want,

And if Criss thinks he's the guy to get Liz Lemon on board

And if Jenna Maroney is getting engaged,

And if P.E.T.A. doesn't love you or hate you,

And if Pop Pop comes to the teacher conference,

And if this, right now, is still the happiest

And if worse comes to worse,

And if you don't play along,

And if you don't sing it at the Gwammys,

And if you take it away from me, I will kill myself.

And if you think I'm going to turn my back

And imagine a world where it actually worked.

And in 24 hours, I got you to tell me things

And in our society, men get praised

And in the '90s, you gave money to the IRA.

And inbred virgin."

And insisted on leaving.

And interview her for a job at the circus.

And is he not handsome, with hair like black vermicelli?

And it did not go well.

And it haunts me.

And it looks like when you tie a string around a roast.

And it makes Jenna feel threatened, and old,

And it said I was the dad's guitar.

And it starts right now.

And it wasn't the pages, and it wasn't the computer...

And it would be selfish of me to make you stay.

And it's giving me a tension headache,

And it's gotten me nowhere.

And it's me, Johnny Mountain,

And it's not coming back.

And it's not just Mr. Donaghy and this oriental matter.

And it's stressful enough

And Jessica Simpson.

And jesus, a homeless man I stole the melody from.

And just getting psyched for a fun day.

And Kabletown's really into all this family shiz.

And keep in mind, back then this was a marsh,

And kill all the witnesses, you beautiful bastard?

And kiss on top of it.

And Knob Kardashian just texted me.

And knowing you, as you were leaving

And last all through next season.

And last night, Paula wouldn't touch me looking like this.

And Lemon Jack pounced on it.

And Lemon. And a little fennel?

And let a man tell us what's happening.

And let's make our way to the subway.

And like all celebrities,

And listen to you complain?

And live in an old lighthouse.

And Lloyd Blankfein slithers back into the sewers

And look at me.

And look at their own junk.

And look at your body.

And look like an idiot.

And lost her virginity to a bait salesman on a water bed.

And loves to waste it.

And Lynn, Frank didn't actually say

And made a fool of herself at a party.

And made a mockery of it with "the twist".

And made a tea kettle out of it.

And made it all go away.

And making my own point.

And making wine in my toilet.

And Mark Ruffalo, he's just gonna do

And maybe it's just the loneliness,

And maybe Kevin will insist on paying,

And merchandising is a...

And my brother Cliff, John Coltrane, Curtis Mayfield,

And my favorite move is sunset arms.

And my favorite move is the lift.

And my friend Vickie, well,

And my schedule is light this week.

And my special ability was being good at looking for clues.

And my wedding will be just another panel

And my wife in Montclair.

And NBC is the Titanic.

And nerf rifles and pornography.

And New Year's Eve...

And no matter what I do, I can't get out.

And no matter what you say,

And no motorcycle!

And no one will even notice, and yes,

And none of this ever would've happened.

And not gross like apples on a sandwich.

And not jobs that came from some government bailout.

And not just 'cause I woke up

And not just 'cause today's the day

And not present day Sally Field?

And not surprising you any quicker with this hug.

And not that you care, but neither is Lynn.

And not the fun kind where you dance

And not the fun stationery store up on the Upper East Side.

And nothing family style.

And nothing is a better workout for body and soul than boxing.

And now 14 million people saw it.

And now back to NBC's live coverage

And now for highlights. Kim Jong...

And now he works at the restaurant

And now he's in a coma at the Kendall clinic.

And now he's in a coma at the Kendall clinic.

And now he's inserting himself into this.

And now he's peeping out of his shell like a... um,

And now I know.

And now it will be.

And now look at that kid,

And now she's forgiving me? Why?

And now she's taking over.

And now that I've gotten everything I wanted,

And now they're doing amazing, and everyone's honest.

And now we're talking about having a plant?

And now with sports,

And now with sports, Scott Scottsman.

And now with sports, Scott Scottsman.

And now with sports, Scott Scottsman.

And now with today's sports...

And now,

And now, "Prince William and Prince time travelling fart detectives".

And now, "The Lovebirds."

And now, I am headed home for a "nooner,"

And now... I can pay to redo the upstairs.

And obviously I can't go to a homeless shelter.

And often gets thrown into a public pool.

And once again, the puppet will become the puppet master.

And one brick to build a bridge

And only during bath time.

And only hit me in the leg once.

And organize a protest of this network.

And other things that women talk about.

And our celebrity spokesperson,

And our mascot, "Pagey," a piece of paper

And our reporter on the scene, Mr. Jamie Garnett.

And our son was a basketball with a wig on it,

And people have forgotten what it really means,

And people who won't shut up about scuba diving.

And perform a lesbian wedding last summer?

And playback.

And police the police,

And posted all these photos

And pratfalls.

And push it out with your brain...

And quit.

And realizing my dad was wrong.

And receive my reward!

And roll the car into a swamp.

And roll the car into a swamp.

And ruined everything!

And run it against AFIS.

And run it against AFIS.

And safe from all the Irish nonsense.

And sang almost all of Hey big spender.

And say, "Dixie is calling, you all.

And scare people into subscribing to magazines

And sell empty buns to drunk people.

And sell it to Japanese businessmen"?

And send you home with a CIA gift bag.

And set all your swatches to right now.

And she got really mad at me.

And she hasn't once stormed in here

And she hates the Princeton club,

And she is a beautiful white American.

And she said, "then why is the same man driving all of them,"

And she takes it out on me

And she'll take it out on me.

And she's in love with Scott.

And she's totally shady.