Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002) Soundboard Edit

A couple of beyotches.

Aah!

Ah, Austin. I’m sorry to interrupt.

Ah, well. Then there is no pleasing you.

All guards report to Cell Block A immediately.

All right, Dr. Evil.

And here he is.

And here we go.

And unfortunately, my neck does look like a vagina.

Are you sure you can trust Dr

Are you telling pork pies and a bag of tripe?

AUSTIN: Wait a tick.

AUSTIN: Yeah, baby, yeah. Do l make you horny, baby?

Austin. Take Dougie. I’ll stay here and be your backup.

By the way...

Come on, Mini Me. Let's go.

Congratulations, baby.

Dad, what's going on?

Daddy

Did you really think you could get away with this?

Do we make you sleepy?

Do you know who I am?

Dr. Evil and his clone are getting away.

Dr. Evil, while you were in space...

Dr. Evil's orders.

Dutch hater. And now, ha, ha, it is time to say goodbye.

EVIL: They raised me to be evil.

FARBISSINA: Oh!

FAT BASTARD: Hey, diaper lady.

Fat Bastard? But you're not fat anymore.

Fine.

For his efforts, Austin Powers...

FOXXY: Wait.

FOXXY: Well, if it isn't Austin Powers

Get off me.

Give me the gun.

Guys.

He ain't heavy...

He touched it too much

He's got the Midas touch

Hence the name...

Here's the chocolate.

Hey, assholes.

Hey, Goldmember

Hi, there.

I lost my poor meatball

I’ll get it.

I’m afraid you can't do that.

I’m going to flood the Earth.

I’ve got a better idea. Why don't you rescue me in about...

I’ve got to go, it's my boy. Hold on.

IN UNISON: Dr. Evil.

IN UNISON: Wow!

It was our first family holiday together.

It's the hard knock

JUDGE: Order! l will have order!

Judo chop!

Judo chop.

Just because you're one eighth their size...

Key, please.

L am a sexy beast.

L hate you.

L love gold so much...

L love you, son

L see that from your tight pants.

L should have told you this so long ago, son.

L think we may have found a clue.

L think you're bluffing.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Quincy Jones.

Let's have a smell, all right?

Listen, Foxxy.

Listen, Scott.

MAN 4: Loved it! Okay.

MAN: Quiet, everybody. Music video, take two.

Marks are in, lads.

Melons. Big, juicy melons.

MEN: Go, Titans!

Mm.

My birth mother was incinerated.

My, my. Even in the face of danger, you live up to your reputation.

Nice to meet you, Number Two...

NIGEL: It was an assassination attempt.

NIGEL: My two sons.

No spitting in the visitors' room.

No.

No....

Not where, Mr. Powers...

Nothing? No?

Of course. Your name is...?

Oh, all right.

Oh, l see!

Oh, no.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Okay, so.... Oh, sure.

Okay, then. Um....

Okay....

Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations.

Ow!

Ow! Ouch kabibble!

Proceed there immediately.

Really?

Release the meteor.

Right behind that screen.

Right on

Right on.

Right, Mini Me?

Right.

Scotty don't.

Scotty's on fire

Shazam.

SINGERS: Hey, Goldmember Goldmember

So I'll make a prophecy From the dogs to the Mini Me

So, Austin, what'd you think of the opening credits?

So, what does this thing do?

Something doesn't smell right.

Thank you

That was close, Foxxy. l owe you one.

That's not right.

Then let me put it to you this way, cuz.

There you are.

There's Goldmember.

Till then I'll...on my...butt Brains out

Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh

Very heavy, man.

Very impressive, Number Two...

We're not so different, you and l.

Well done, Austin.

Well, l can't believe Sir Steven Spielberg...

Well, l love you, Dad.

Well, no, actually.

Well, they're using the same joke that they did Oh.

What are you doing here?

What the ? Who? But how? Where? Huh?

What the hell's going on here?

What?

What's this? It says:

Which for you is bad news, bears.

Whoa!

Whoa!

WOMAN: Congratulations. Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes, it's a good hat. Very good hat.

Yes, quite off topic, thank you very much.

Yes.

You can spend your whole life...

You kiss your mother with that mouth?

You know, Goldmember...

You should check that guy out.

You under arrest, sugar.

You're gonna start a riot..

Your father's in the back room, under heavy guard.

Better? Yeah. Yes.

Dad. Yes.

Gold, Goldmember Hey, Goldmember

Goldmember's so solid SINGERS: It's gold, it's gold, it's gold

He likes it, uh huh Uh huh

Heh heh heh. It’s powerful enough to pull the meteor...

Hey, "A" and "N," you're late. How we doing? We're back

It's where he learned to dance Hey, Goldmember

What's this? You need this to turn on the tractor beam.

Your chair, Dr. Evil. Thank you.

...and l don't care who knows it.

...as they did in the last Austin Powers film Movie What was it?

...but I'm still tough and sexy.

...but when.

...code named Preparation H.

...he's my brother, baby. Yeah.

...I'm curious.

...Mama only got a taste of honey...

...perhaps you'd like to see the genius of my plan

...pick up Goldmember and bring him back to the future.

...powerful enough to pull a meteor to Earth.

...to time travel to the '70s.

...well, your sense of right, wrong...

...what did you find on those sailors?

...your giggle stick, master of ceremonies

...your mother brought the two of you to Belgium.

["'SOUL BOSSA NOVA"' PLAYING]

[ALL YELL]

[BEEPS]

[BOTH LAUGH]

[BOTH LAUGH]

[BOTH LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

[CHEERING]

[CHEERING]

[CHUCKLES]

[DOGS Barking]

[FARTS]

[FAT BASTARD LAUGHS]

[FOXXY AND NIGEL LAUGH]

[GASPS THEN YELLS]

[GASPS]

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTS]

[GUESTS LAUGH]

[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING] Yes, "beehive."

[LAUGHING] Yes.

[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[MAN SPEAKING IN JAPANESE OVER PA]

[MINI ME SCREAMING]

[MOUTHS] Instead of treated

[NIGEL GRUNTS]

[NIGEL LAUGHS]

[SINGING] Daddy

[SPEARS Slinging "BOYS"]

[SUBMARINE FARTS]

[WHISPERS] Daddy?

[WIRE SNAPS]

[YELLS] Whoa!

1975!