The Magicians - Season 2 Edit

A being older than the world itself.

A being with an enormous amount of power.

A command performance.

A deal is a deal.

A Fillorian sits upon the throne.

A gift? Um...

A human, which can sometimes take days, even weeks.

A little...extreme, yeah,

A molar that never came in.

A power that acts, not for gain, but solely because it can

A power without logic.

A question I've asked myself very often at 3:00 a.m.

A royal child of Whitespire.

A royal child of Whitespire.

A royal wedding is the perfect time for a monarch

A slightly less incendiary term?

A special Fillorian mint.

A way that I can maybe help Julia.

A wife and a husband.

A wife, and a husband.

Abigail and I have been using the castle guards

Abigail? If you can hear me, squeak.

About Shades.

About the kidnapping.

About what I did.

Actual good in the world,

Actually, is it possible to check on a few names?

Actually, yes.

Admit I'm fucking cursed?

After all the hours I spent down in the dungeon,

Ah, good old Tick.

Ah, here we are.

Ah, it's rather confusing.

Ah, King Idri is our honored guest.

Ah, vodka Gibson, four onions.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! I was so stupid.

Ah.

Aha time loop. Thought so.

Ahem. Okay.

Alice, I hope you meant it.

Alice, what happened to your hand?

Alice.

Alice...

Alice...

All in one piece, thanks to that sword spell of yours.

All my life, I've put my family first.

All of them.

All of you are dead or imprisoned.

All opponents dead.

All right, all of you,

All right, come on.

All right, well, you know,

All right.

All right.

All the news outlets bought it.

All the time.

All these articles are

Almost certainly.

Alone.

Also, every chicken in Fillory has laryngitis.

Always the one to tell the impossible

Always the one to tell the impossible

Always?

Am I?

An Ancient One.

And a 50/50 Wellspring split.

And a bad idea to get a nuclear bomb?

And about 50 straight minutes of casting,

And before you introduced me to this Earth delicacy

And does anyone know where Fen is?

And end of the day, it's my mess to clean up.

And foul language.

And friends to help me break them.

And funny, and she probably made friends

And get your feet off my throne.

And her name was Meadow.

And I am going to find you.

And I am here for you.

And I know it sounds ridiculous, but it is true.

And I must admit I'm envious of the many rich discoveries

And I really don't want to run into Julia.

And I really just need your support right now, babe.

And I think I would've never done it if I were me.

And I was too proud to to let it go.

And I'm glad we got to say good bye.

And I'm not running a jail.

And I'm not the one up a tree.

And I'm pretty buff from all the living

And I'm sorry for trying to drag you into the ditch on this.

And if it doesn't,

And if it wasn't for his bravery,

And if my light or yours go out,

And in return?

And in return?

And it's going to save Fillory.

And it's only been used once before because

And just wait until we're husband and husband,

And knows not one thing about magic.

And left you, what, $20 million?

And look for the answers that can save you.

And never keep information from me again, okay?

And no one knows where she is.

And now he's cold and hungry.

And now it's all I ask.

And now the Fu Fighters are gonna red my wedding!

And now...

And of course, our preparation is affected

And once you've mastered it,

And run his random Earth errands.

And see that she gets her coconut oil.

And self pity

And Shades.

And she was taken because you tried to

And she's still alive?

And so are you.

And sometimes his competition can get a little rough,

And starts kicking the door?

And stuffed him in a closet?

And sword spells take weeks to master.

And that makes me dangerous.

And that...

And the bad ones don't hesitate.

And the last time you tried to help,

And the mysterious disappearance of all blondes

And the powers that be

And the protocols of dueling not good.

And the Wellspring's gone black.

And the world was made to worship and follow you anywhere.

And then Council meeting.

And then get out.

And then she leaves!

And there are so many rats in the castle already.

And they won't tell me a damn thing.

And this is what I want to do with it.

And this one has been checked out for over ten years.

And try not to touch anything in there.

And we'll get it for you.

And what about your friends? What if they need you?

And what some would call pillow talk, we call...

And where are the fire dancers?

And would like to formally welcome you to The Order.

And yet the people don't like me any more than they did.

And yet, there's so much we can do.

And you are a total DILF.

And you are?

And you can show me how you like to be touched.

And you can't be the one to dump that potion

And you reshaped it.

And you tell him, plainly.

And you went with a bowling alley?

And you, good sir, may shave any nymph in the kingdom.

And you're afraid to bowl.

And you're not.

And, uh...

Another favorite show of mine...

Another one, "disconnected Shade, 'E.'"

Another you you're alive.

Answer a question, maybe I'll forget to

Any questions, direct them to

Any royal request, Your Majesty.

Any word on the Poison Room?

Anymore than he would.

Anything else?

Anyway, I married Fen because I had to.

Apparently all monarchs are entitled to one of each:

Apparently all monarchs on this glorious, magical planet

Apparently, I track down overdue books,

Apparently, they used to come and go like clockwork

Are done bonding, do you think you could ask her

Are entitled to one of each.

Are into whatever helps us settle in

Are out of "comish" for the foreseeable future.

Are safe and well protected for their eternity.

Are they?

Are you all right?

Are you defending her?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Are you giving me the button or not?

Are you kidding me?

Are you looking for the kind of new one,

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you saying I used some kind of magic spell

As a novice of The Order, there are many secrets

As for Loria

As I collect many things, little mammal.

As implacable as they are ancient.

As long as they hold, we're safe.

As nothing less than meteoric.

As well a mess of problems for the people who'd find

At least that's what I thought. What I've really been doing

At least you don't have to worry about getting old.

At the fall of milk teeth."

Aw, it's a shame, isn't it, El?

Back to reception.

Bambi, what are you casting?

Bambi! This is an emergency.

Based on your life and personal expectations

Beautiful magic.

Because Eliot's fun.

Because he knew they were, uh, too...

Because I get magic back.

Because I'm her Shade.

Because if you keep drinking,

Because there's truth serum in this wine.

Because you are the one I trust.

Because you know her too.

Because, Ms. Wicker,

Becca, get the doctor. Get the doctor now!

Becca!

Been trying to get in there myself, 'cause, you know,

Before going into battle.

Before he'd show me the secret to that recipe.

Before I flay whoever neglected to inform me sooner,

Before I fucking kill someone.

Believe me, I know.

Believe me, I want to get in there.

Between monarchs.

Between monarchs.

Beyoncé does, which is why she's a boss.

Blackout. The wards are down.

Boarding school on Earth. I played Javert.

Break in and steal their teeth?

Bring gifts there."

Bring unto me the lifeblood knowledge

Bring unto me the lifeblood knowledge

Built to look like Hawaii.

But at least this way, we don't have to get up for beers.

But clever.

But half of Fillory eats boiled mutton.

But he's fine, right?

But he's got to be somewhere.

But hey, get this

But I I know that it was real.

But I can tell you how I want to touch you.

But I can't anymore,

But I didn't know her at all.

But I didn't.

But I didn't.

But I don't.

But I have been improvising.

But I need you to move past that.

But I need you to promise me that if magic is returned,

But I was the only one who got pregnant.

But I'd have to do the research on my own time.

But I'll make due

But I'm afraid I'm not allowed to discuss the business

But I'm here now.

But if we hold it longer than two minutes,

But in this world, I love you.

But interoffice courtship is expressly prohibited.

But it got passed, right?

But it is a chance to save Fen,

But it means so much to me that you want to.

But just not for nothing, reception isn't keen

But meanwhile,

But she's got her reasons, okay? Just trust me.

But she's not gone.

But souls do stay a while,

But still, why ask me?

But then I suggested they let me in.

But there are no books on how to do...

But there's a catch.

But this magic, I've never seen it before.

But until then,

But until then, I'll need to stick you somewhere.

But we are talking about a not so benevolent god...

But we need the Wellspring to work.

But we urge you not to do it.

But we will commit a felony almost as stupid.

But what if you went public?

But wherever she is,

But you do realize there's nothing we can actually do.

But you're not my type.

But your your Shade, everything.

But...

But...

Buttons, too, please.

By the continued unsteadiness of the Wellspring.

Call in Senator Cowden.

Call it what it is.

Can create a paradox.

Can I ask you a woman question?

Can we please not talk about it?

Can you do something to ward his mind from the voice?

Can't you get Margo to help?

Can't you?

Care to join?

Certainly not. You don't sneak.

Citizens, your warrior king returns.

Close.

Come on, has any bill you ever sponsored failed?

Come on, or we'll lose her, too.

Come on, this aint a pop quiz, let's go, you don't want to be out there, let's go, come on!

Come out.

Come. Come closer.

Coming for our baby.

Confusing why?

Congrats, future hubby. Your half is now shit free.

Congratulations, you're dead.

Congratulations!

Congratulations. You failed.

Cool.

Correct as well as ant hills turning into volcanoes,

Damn it!

Dana's baby his son.

Definitely not my rice bowl.

Did it work? Is it gone?

Did you do this for me?

Did you ever manage to talk to Fen?

Did you get Reynard yet?

Did you know that he and Bob Ross

Did you put a sleeping spell on me?

Didn't the Norse Gods kill each other, like, all the time?

Didn't you hear what Friar Joseph said?

Diplomatic leverage.

Directly.

Do I know about the fairies?

Do it, or we all die right here, right now, Q.

Do not mix these up.

Do you like skiing?

Do you really want every Hedge Witch with a grudge

Do you recall the time loop I told you about?

Do you remember the gift

Does that even make sense?

Does this thing run out of numbers?

Doesn't help us.

Doesn't matter.

Doesn't seem to take with me.

Doing everything on your own.

Doing so good.

Don't be fooled by the high gloss.

Don't be ridiculous.

Don't hurt these people.

Don't prolong it.

Doomed to sexual frustration.

Dude believes every word he says.

Dude has more magic coming off him

Dude, I thought you were off being, like,

Dude, lets you see into other worlds.

Dude, their shit was seriously jacked up.

Easy.

Eh.

Either way, it's totally curable.

El, can we take a second?

Eliot lives and there's no war

Eliot needs a friend, asshole.

Eliot, are are you okay? Are you hurt?

Eliot, Heloise just turned into a rat!

Eliot, I did this for you.

Eliot, I have to go back to Earth.

Eliot?

Eliot? Oh, thank God.

Eliot...

Eliot...

Eliot's the king of all this?

Ember gave her the ability to fuck with time

Enjoy your wait.

Enough.

Especially after a prolonged separation

Especially since magic is not completely dependable.

Espionage?

Essentially in another universe.

Eternal glory awaits you, O Joshua of Yonkers.

Eternal glory.

Even she knows that.

Even this dungeon's nicer than any place I lived as a kid

Even with that... thing inside of him,

Even without knowing it to create you.

Evenings I'd agree.

Every fall and spring, but a while back,

Every time I run into her,

Everyone get to the lab. Now!

Everyone gets what they want.

Everyone has a book.

Everyone uses whatever they've got, John,

Everyone, give us a minute.

Ew.

Except there's no one else there.

Except where posted.

Excuse me.

Expecting the Tooth Fairy and

Face that.

Fairies?

Fen is in her human form,

Fen, Eliot's going to lose,

Fen, I actually feel marginally less fucked now.

Fen!

Fen? Fen!

Fen...

Fillory is your home.

Find every rat.

Finding me that five mil can't be too hard.

Fine, he bitched out. It's over.

Fine, kick me out.

Fine, let's go.

Fine.

Fine.

Fix the Wellspring, now.

Fogg isn't that helpful.

For all of us.

For identification, please.

For one on one combat.

For someone truly worthy.

For the book now, please?

For the little boy?

For the official records, may I suggest

For which you compensate heavily with boisterousness

Forget it. Doesn't matter.

Forget the dish.

Free will, I exercise that shit.

Free yourself, then find me.

From some kind of goddess

Fuck yeah.

Fuck you.

Fuck, I could've

Fuck.

Fucked up is that there is knowledge out there

Fucking millennials.

Full of creepy kids.

Fuzzbeat?

Get clever with our deal

Get it out of your system.

Get me out of here.

Get the answers that you need,

Get the fuck out of my office now!

Gets me there, no shame.

Go away, Todd.

God damn it!

God damn it.

God level good luck.

God,

God, he's so weak.

Good bye, Margo.

Good luck with all your shit.

Good luck with the meeting, Senator.

Good luck, I'll check back.

Good plan.

Good to see you too, Bambi.

Good.

Got it.

Got to keep looking.

Got ya.

Gotcha.

Gotcha.

Great, depending on what your definition of help is.

Great, good to know.

Great, um, I super love riddles.

Great.

Groomzilla is suddenly my full time job.

Gross.

Guards.

Guess that includes his own son.

Guess there's some things you can't control, after all.

Guys, stop the bit. I'll go.

Guys? The fuck?

H how can I find you?

Had a dark artistic rivalry, and

Hades created the Underworld,

Half of those don't even look like pandas.

Have been for a while.

Have you considered that it might not be strictly possible

Have you ever failed at anything ever?

Haven't you ever noticed?

Having seen how you fight without magic, yes.

He just fainted.

He knew how to survive.

He made up some bullshit excuse

He ran away.

He said the same about you.

He went back to work.

He will no longer bargain with you.

He will only honor the present deal

He won't be able to get in here,

He would be more comfortable.

He'll find it on the sidewalk any minute.

He's a trickster.

He's already seeing the statues.

He's bleeding.

He's catatonic.

He's declared them "adequate."

He's great. He moved on.

He's just so mean when he needs things.

He's led a seriously weird life.

He's marking his territory.

He's nowhere near as interesting as you.

He's okay

He's on rails to the White House.

He's probably been passing messages to the Fu Fighters

He's the perfect demigod spokesmodel of absolute evil.

Hello.

Help with what?

Her Shade?

Here you go.

Here's all you have to do.

Here's your overdue book.

Hey, can we ask you a question?

Hey, do you know where they were taking that guy just now?

Hey, does one of you have an alumni key?

Hey, does she have a book of her?

Hey, don't go through my bag.

Hey, I refuse to be shamed.

Hey, is this place real?

Hey, let go! Wait, ow!

Hey, uh, can you help me find some information?

Hey, what's up with the Senator?

Hey. I'll take that.

Hi, Fen.

Hi.

Hi.

Highest?

Highness? A word?

His name was Howard.

Historically,

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. You seek to die.

Hmm...

Hold up.

Holy shit, are we at war?

Holy shit, Julia?

Holy shit.

Honestly, I don't think that she knew anything about Shades.

Hope you had some fun to make your confinement worthwhile.

Hopefully long enough till we think of something.

How about "Drunk Guys Eating Kids' Vitamins"?

How are how are you doing?

How can I help?

How can you not?

How can you possibly know what they actually think of you?

How did you

How did you get his voice to stop?

How else could it be but her?

How is that?

How long before the dragon eats you and Quentin?

How long can the emergency generator in here keep the lab working?

How much of that potion can you make?

How much power?

How popular would I be?

How to commune with lost souls,

How to kill a trickster god.

How we fight a war without an army.

How were you ever a drug dealer?

How?

How'd you do it? You know, turn me back?

How'd you get him past the wards?

How's Josh doing in the royal kitchens?

How's the battle prep?

Hun, you're gonna have to bowl.

Hurt them? No. Never.

I I don't know. A buttload?

I I got a strike.

I I must've stood up too fast.

I I need to make a

I I read ahead.

I actually find you very attractive.

I actually thought I'd won Bayler over.

I adapted one of his polling spells.

I admire your commitment to education.

I always thought I had some kind of...

I am

I am a Knowledge student.

I am a Queen of the Great Worms.

I am not human, Cindy.

I am so sorry.

I am telling you the truth.

I apologize.

I assure you it is much more luxurious than it sounds.

I assure you, all the Shades

I believe that everyone is born with a flame of goodness,

I believe you believe you.

I can see pure magic

I can see that.

I can see you're upset.

I can stop this.

I can teach you how to use it at will.

I can work on that.

I can't believe you actually won.

I can't control my...

I can't find my way home.

I can't ignore it.

I can't lie.

I can't risk having to clean up your next mess.

I can't stay here.

I can't touch you,

I can't.

I can't...

I can't... stop!

I cannot believe how fucking boring this is.

I certainly hope it would be weird.

I controlled their minds.

I could've killed you.

I didn't know that you liked any of the Quentins.

I do know or I suppose I knew

I do not have powers. That is impossible.

I do what?

I don't even know how I got here.

I don't even think it'll register.

I don't know that I want to do that.

I don't know what she knew.

I don't know what that other Quentin felt,

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to say to make you feel better.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know where he is, if he's even still here.

I don't know you.

I don't know, my ancient Greek is a little rusty.

I don't know, they didn't seem too keen

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't really want to feel better anyway.

I don't understand.

I don't understand. You have a new weapon

I don't want it.

I don't want to know a world without Alice.

I doubt it, that's very difficult to do.

I enjoyed it.

I feel bad; I forgot your name.

I feel light,

I feel like I'm interrupting a conversation.

I figured you might know why they hate me so much,

I found them! Stop!

I froze them so they wouldn't hurt themselves...

I gather a three person marriage isn't normal on Earth?

I get it. My love for my late wife

I get that you're hurting.

I guarantee you won't believe it.

I guess he has, like, a crazy book deal.

I guess we need to find a bellhop.

I had a vision, okay?

I had to get Thomas Keller so wrecked

I have a feeling she's a total freak in the sack.

I have all the answers you could ever want.

I have no idea.

I have something that might help.

I have to be honest. I hope I'm in a mental ward.

I have to do right now.

I have to get back to Julia.

I have your next job.

I haven't.

I heard everything.

I help the same little creatures you want to help.

I hereby decree...

I hit one of his rallies, did a psychic scan.

I hope my arrival isn't causing undue stress.

I hope we can figure something out,

I hope you just go and do beautiful magic.

I hope you just go and do...

I hope you meant it.

I just I feel like this is something that I

I just can't do this anymore.

I just don't get it.

I just don't think it's "Fillory" enough.

I just keep seeing her face.

I just need her name, okay?

I just saw her. This way.

I just think it's terrible,

I just want to do what Joseph does.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

I just watched a man kill himself!

I keep coming across soldiers who'd sing

I kind of have a thing about splitting up in houses

I kind of threw her in the dungeon.

I knew something was missing, I just didn't know...

I know I haven't always given you reason to trust me.

I know it has.

I know it's a lot, but it's worth it.

I know that you always find a way to do the right thing,

I know you have questions.

I know you have questions.

I know you told security to keep me out,

I know you. This is a project

I know you're in there

I know, right?

I know. I...

I let her go.

I like my fights fair.

I like that.

I love you.

I made a deal to save Eliot's life.

I made a deal with the fairies and I know where Fen is.

I mean, I can't be the one

I mean, I could write a spell.

I mean, I did head off a famine

I mean, something.

I mean, sure, you could slap together spell,

I mean, we don't have to race off to Fillory

I mean, when Fogg talked about 'em the other day,

I mean, why not?

I mean, you ever even touched a sword before today?

I mean, you're really doubling up

I missed you so much.

I must warn you, few return.

I need a code to get in.

I need a free moment

I need some air.

I need to deal with the rats.

I need to find my Shade.

I need you to tell me everything you know

I need your help.

I need your help.

I present King Idri of Loria.

I really hate to bring this up,

I really, really missed you.

I require a gift.

I said have it ready.

I saw Reynard in the back of a press photo.

I saw you. You want to fuck her.

I searched everywhere for it.

I see what you're getting at.

I should feel terrible

I should've executed him.

I should've looked you up on the spot.

I shouldn't be here, but...

I sit patiently, waiting for you to come back.

I still have one...

I still have Reynard to deal with.

I suspect Harriet's curse was an attempt to steal its contents.

I take it back.

I talked to your Shade.

I think I can,

I think I figured out what an Ancient One is.

I think I figured out what an Ancient One is.

I think I just got kicked out.

I think I might have a karmic circle we could visit.

I think my pregnant wife

I think that you have been working too hard

I think this is gonna be a lot of fun.

I think you just invented democracy,

I think you just overwhelmed him a little.

I think you were.

I think you're overestimating yourself, here.

I thought I had rehabbed his soul.

I thought I'd never see you again.

I thought that you were gone.

I thought you could help me out with a little locator spell?

I understand.

I wanna know who I'm sealing the deal with.

I want everyone to like me.

I want in.

I want to talk to you about the terms of our deal.

I was all right at the matinees.

I was at Brakebills.

I was kind of hoping you'd get to fucking.

I was testing the potion for you.

I was wondering what would happen