The Simpsons - Season 24 Edit

A bite proof suit,

A black hole?!

A black hole?!

A blue bonnet plague.

A bottle?!

A burst of radiation

A busboy, or even a stoplight squeegee man,

A chance to make a new friend.

A check the next day.

A Christmas card I got from Miss Viola years later.

A Christmas card I got from Miss Viola years later.

A civilian.

A classic "kicked out of the house" party.

A comma... a com...

A commonality beret burrito.

A complete and utter moron.

A completed chore list.

A couple of saps to take us

A cowboy hat means

A crazy thing happened when I was ordering

A dealer's invoice of $14,700.

A few months later, I went to rescue Bongo.

A gentleman doesn't ask,

A girl who likes candy?

A good babysitter.

A grand gesture"?

A healthy 17%.

A hedonist, a Hindu and a...

A hero!

A high voltage monkey prod?

A hole next to the seat to hold my cup?

A horse's head in someone's bed,

A huge new expense you didn't tell us about.

A hundred dollar bill for anyone who will give me

A library volunteer?

A little ketchup left in the bottle.

A little more brooding, and...

A little more creative with your time?

A little too quickly?

A lot of bobbers then.

A lot of good backups. How pregnant is the raccoon?

A lot of layers.

A lot of musical talent in this house.

A man from Nantucket, no.

A man who can hold a note the longest.

A man who claims to be a hero but is nothing more

A man's mind turns to one thing

A married mother of three.

A mini black hole!

A minstrel has composed a roundelay mocking me?

A minstrel has composed a roundelay mocking me?

A mom and pop hardware in nothing flat?

A nefarious hot dog in an ad for Taco Bueno.

A new suit?! Oh, ho, ho!

A paper based read a majig?

A peloton?

A perfect storm?

A pillow case full of quarters?

A plague is sweeping through Springfield.

A poker site is now safer than an American bank.

A powerful muscle relaxant.

A proud mother always does.

A quick movement of the enemy

A rogue parking meter has been terrorizing the streets.

A role played by Richard Dreyfuss in our universe.

A rusted out kiddie train?

A settlement to any parent

A sneak preview of a new donut

A teacher can't be a bully.

A test I like to think I passed.

A Theater in the Round.

A toast to our enigmatic new protector,

A towel rack will not support your weight.

A town without rules, without leadership,

A whole weekend?

A, B, C...

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! No one takes Willie's mop!

Aah! Now I got two in one eye!

Aah! Oh!

Aah! What the hell are you doing?

Abandoned ethnic union halls.

Abe popped the question.

Abe Simpson?! Uh, excuse me.

Abe Simpson... used to work here.

Abe, we found your storage locker.

Abe, we were so worried!

Abe, you seen this guy?

Abe! They want to book us on a European tour!

About a man who repossesses zoo animals.

About a man who repossesses zoo animals.

About not breast feeding my kids

About not studying for a high school test,

About press gangs and infanticide?

About something a little hope.

About this place, they like.

About white trash scuzzbags doing subhuman, made up jobs

Absolutely not!

Absolutely not!

Absolutely not.

Absolutely. But how did we get here

Accidental motherhood is the greatest thing

According to Exodus, Leviticus and Matthew.

According to our Mayan calendar,

Accused of poisoning her husband?

Accused of poisoning her husband?

Aces over threes!

Achem!

Acquitted?

Acres of rainforest left, deaths by lung cancer.

Across from the prettiest church you ever seen.

Across the butt.

Actually, Carl, there's no workplace appropriate use

Actually, he feeds on more than just fear.

Actually, I'm cool with one of them.

Adios, ocho.

Admit who you are, a wonderful gay man.

Adrenaline junkie.

After a pulse pounding race, hypertension pills win again.

After having fled the state at the first sign of the storm.

After I thought about feeding you?

After people found out it's 98% squirrel sweat,

After school two days a week,

After that, it's just hanging out with someone who kind of

After the way I screwed things up with you?

After watching public television.

After we finish watching the movie

After we were fired from Spiro's, we teamed up...

After years of practice.

After your next recital.

After your next recital.

Again.

Again.

Agreed, but to win back our women,

Ah, ah

Ah, ah, ah, but let me check that list of things

Ah, damn it, we lost him!

Ah, hello there.

Ah, kids' drawings.

Ah, look. I have company.

Ah, looks like you're really

Ah, Mr. Homer.

Ah, my gay dad is gay for gays.

Ah, relax, I'm over it.

Ah, screw it. I quit.

Ah, take a look at this.

Ah, they never stop for blue heads.

Ah, this post suicide afterglow gets shorter every time.

Ah, this thing's just loaded with rock salt.

Ah, to be young and on trial.

Ah, yes, you see?

Ah, you can't let being a dad slow you down.

Ah, you know, if this is what women like,

Ah, you're welcome.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! A human fruit bat!

Ah! Ah! Eh!

Ah! Tenting, tenting! Back to the tenting!

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. Ay, caramba!

Ah. Wait.

Ah...

Ai

Ai. Ai.

Ain't no shame in being poor, boy.

Ain't nothing better for songwriting

Air Force One,

Aka the Springfield Egger...

Alive, but very clueless.

All day I have vitamin burps.

All drivers must be over the age of 25...

All due respect, Mr. Flanders, could I have a little privacy?

All electronics in Springfield have been disabled

All eyes on you, baby.

All for nothing. Hey, guys...

All good men, but some must go.

All he has to do is not eat a piece before I do.

All I care is what you think, Bart.

All I see is two million people happier than me.

All men is unpolished stones.

All my extra credit points are like

All our lottery money, gone!

All right

All right

All right already, let's get this done

All right, all right, I'll be right there

All right, boy, I admit it.

All right, Dad!

All right, fine.

All right, get comfy.

All right, guys, let's get this train

All right, Homer, it's your moment.

All right, I'll spring for a cab.

All right, let's just use a razor.

All right, Marge, maybe we're

All right, now to drag the meter to the next idiot.

All right, the blue knight is ready for action!

All right, the coast is clear.

All right, this is it, Carl's family home.

All right, we collected all the personal information

All right, who took the microwave?

All right, you soft skulled nitwits, sit up straight,

All right! "Try it" means sex.

All right! All right!

All right! I remember we all got in.

All right. All right now.

All right. All right.

All the brains you can eat.

All the frogs on that show are Kermit.

All the greats are here:

All the way to the very edge of the bed?

All these sentences have every letter of the alphabet in them.

All these years I thought

All those crooks were fakes, set up by me

All those healthy organs, ripe for the harvesting.

All too well.

All we ask is

All worth it for Marge.

All you do is show up at the stock exchange,

All you have to do is like me.

All you need to know is I'm a politeness monster

All you pretty girls are the same.

All your eggs in one basket.

Allow me, gentlemen.

Almost.

Almost...

Already cancelled.

Also good.

Also, I didn't want to tell you,

Also, what am I doing up here?

Although as usual, I look nothing like

Although I... I did kind of space out during orientation.

Although probably not seeing where this is going.

Although there is a lot of Internet chatter.

Although we have but one ocean,

Always bragging about her he she cousin.

Always keeping an eye out for invading hordes.

Always partying on deck with your Docksiders

Always.

Am I farmer or a rancher?

Am I getting dumped?

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

America can't collapse!

America kicks Iceland's ass.

America's most respectable cult.

America's original vainglorious bastard,

American would do: throw you away.

An "on purpose" baby?!

An adult he's buying it.

An angry woman would say "Everything's fine."

An E.M.P.?!

An exclamation point or an interrobang.

An inexorable march of progress.

Anarchy lurks around every corner,

Anarchy. The end of civilization.

And $500 for Yankee tickets, which turn out to be bogus.

And a generous grant from a man named Generous Grant.

And a lady doesn't tell.

And a lesbian prime minister.

And a man who once served me soup from the wrong side.

And acting is for getting out of DUIs.

And agree to buy all our future products.

And all the teachers forgot how to make a capital "Q."

And all we have are boxing wizards.

And anything that's half you

And apparently I'm married to a pork chop

And aside from being lumped together and generalized about,

And at some point, that's gonna come together

And atoms were split by hand,

And bad guys were called "heels."

And Barney Gumble. Hmm?

And Bart's in his room with Milhouse.

And befriended the garbage man who took it.

And bring your gold brickery to a caesura!

And burn it to the ground.

And Burns would never find him.

And buy everybody a beer?

And by the way, that backseat is pretty tight for the kids.

And by the way, the paint's a little faded

And by the way, this is my real voice.

And ca lick.

And check.

And chuck them down this thing.

And coming to a complete stop to let your child get in.

And complicated punishments

And continue this conversation.

And dead people.

And do you think this boy took those eggs?

And don't throw anything more into it!

And entering the ring,

And even though lots of things are razor sharp,

And every six hours with food for you.

And every year, the average American eats

And extended warranties to catch that ghost?

And fast!

And feasting upon our tiny horses.

And feel his wagging tail go stiff.

And finally the tie.

And first win.

And for my dyslexia.

And for this to be the last decision I have to make.

And four, three...

And friendly in the Admiral's Club.

And furthermore, I respect you more for saying no.

And get a Laffy Meal!

And got through the bullies without a punch.

And Grandpa's still alive.

And grind until you hear a crunch,

And have drumstick children.

And have ourselves a soup sip.

And he broke his wrist or something.

And he called you a poser, and everyone laughed.

And he didn't pee on the floor.

And he has my permission.

And he knew nothing about bayonets,

And he still keeps his job.

And he was giving away

And he'll flack anything.

And help my father with his dream.

And here comes Santa Little Helper.

And here comes the tarp.

And here they are, the Sofa Speedsters

And his family is being well taken care of.

And his sidekick, The Fleecy Kid.

And hope nobody takes you up on it.

And I admit, I would totally lie in a second

And I can do anything.

And I can see why.

And I didn't tell you about it,

And I disapprove of your fathering

And I don't think you're boring.

And I drink all your booze, and sell your jewelry,

And I got sick of waitin' for ya!

And I got to collect 'em all!

And I got to try every flavor white and red.

And I hate action.

And I have it.

And I have to ask, has anyone seen the cat?

And I hope Bart passes his test and saves the school.

And I just tip 'em into the basket.

And I once pushed a kid off a swing

And I promise each anniversary

And I promise to do the things

And I promised Paul McCartney I wouldn't sleep with John.

And I saved your vegetarian bacon.

And I shall join you shortly.

And I should know, because I'm on the give.

And I suspect you've been chewing on his treats.

And I think Bart's finally outgrown his misbehavior

And I think we will be for a long, long time.

And I thought maybe you'd like to...

And I was gonna be a good husband, too!

And I wish that Mr. Teeny gets a banana,

And I wouldn't say

And I you.

And I'll be here for as long as it takes.

And I'll be talking about you to them tonight!

And I'll call you please don't go in my mouth.

And I'll have gained six pounds.

And I'll just keep doing it until the subject...

And I'm 69.

And I'm going down to P 6!

And I'm gonna take this opportunity to...

And I'm here to beg you to stop writing those letters.

And I'm liking the way that feels.

And I'm not King Olaf?

And I'm really ashamed that I lied.

And I'm the guy you want to know when the stuff hits the fan.

And I'm thinking of getting Maggie swimming lessons.

And I'm too cowardly to leave it.

And I've been wondering.

And I've worked with Bob Balaban!

And if anyone finds this footage after we're all missing or dead,

And if it's such a "good book,"

And if not, can you do my belly button?

And if there's any justice, he's doomed.

And if you delete Revenge...

And if you have any ideas, I'm really running out.

And if you're worried about when the air conditioner

And in my free time, I prosecute record companies

And in retrospect, city officials regret holding

And in ten years, make Lisa go to the prom with Milhouse.

And it brought me here.

And it enables you to drive real slow

And it got very sick on the way over.

And it just seemed like you guys didn't really want them.

And it never gets easier, until you can drink.

And it still works.

And it turns out that what chicks want now is a guy

And it was good."

And it was just a guy crying.

And it was my last good bone.

And it will be Obama's fault!

And it's got awesome games like "Tapped Out."

And it's got no Pluto!

And it's not decadent 'cause you can ask interns to do anything.

And it's not Halloween

And just so you know I mean business, here's an ear!

And know she'll still love him.

And let me tell you,

And let the kisses flow like rain.

And look over there, Moe.

And look! I got money to take you for pizza!

And loved money so he sold Bongo

And made an appointment with the dermatologist

And made the prosecutor sweat through two shirts.

And made you some sausage and biscuits.

And make us explore your fascinating past again.

And may thy dead man switch never be used.

And me, too.

And meddling billionaires are not how the legal system works.

And money is college, which can lead to more money

And more dangerous it becomes!

And most scientists believe that what enters a black hole

And mumble so you can't really understand what I'm saying,

And my appeals are exhausted.

And my handsome, girl crazy son tonight?

And myself for waiting 30 seconds

And no amount of ignoring the problem could ever fix it.

And no one.

And no resenting us ever.

And not a single jet more!

And not giving me a kiss.

And not want to feed it something.

And now all those people are on their own.

And now he's turned into a fat version of Flanders.

And now I'll always be at home in a saloon.

And now it's time for Final Jeopardy.

And now it's time for Grampa's song!

And now my Dad can notarize.

And now our main event.

And now the devil wants his due.

And now there's no amount of ice cream

And now they've taken over.

And now to light up the sign and let the world know

And now we're gonna take them back

And now, finally, I believe in something bigger than myself.

And now, the winner is...

And now, to help you disperse...

And of your fat stomach.

And one thing only.

And ordered a new couch just like the old one.

And owns a whimsical store in a failing mall.

And passwords on computers,

And placed plausible rate hike percentages on their backs.

And please charge us for the false report.

And please, please make the next swing of the yo yo an up.

And prove they still like me.

And put the gas bill on auto pay.

And quit the team.

And quite a few... disasters!

And reaffirmed by I Know You Are v. What Am I.

And release this sweet, lovable boy.

And remember how Maggie solved Cookiegate?

And restore my family's honor.

And say good bye to your best friend forever.

And scoop him into the urinal trough

And see me when I'm old.

And seeing someone else get married in it

And sends people to the food court.

And she wouldn't like me anymore if I gave her up.

And she's doing great.

And Sideshow Bob @ Springfield Penitentiary Hah!

And snap you into last week?

And so Homer and Marge's marriage

And so Homer and Marge's marriage

And so I've learned that the only true Batmen

And some sandpaper.

And soon.

And speaking of losers, I lost my train of thought.

And squeezed the sap out of that tree.

And stables to be mucked out.

And start fresh in the morning.

And Strakova Mishtnupetrateva.

And sucks the vital essence of his prey.

And surely will redouble my diligence.

And take them for everything they've got.

And talk about... ugh... guy stuff.

And taped an antenna to the top?

And tell him to put on a splash of this.

And that better not be your gum on the ground.

And that goes for the rest of youse, too!

And that Marge loves me forever

And that means no punishment, right?

And that smart alecky attitude

And that's all this thing really says.

And that's how you deliver a baby calf

And that's how you do it.

And that's when I learned

And that's where we're going. We got to pack.

And that's why Flanders will never, ever be

And that's why libraries use newspaper rods.

And the ball shatters the sky,

And the defroster lines on

And the Franken continental!

And the globe feels so warm!

And the last answer, "C."

And the lions think they're gonna eat me!

And the man I'm looking for

And the man or woman could be Hispanic or,

And the missing page will prove it.

And the most humiliating tie there is:

And the only ice is made by machines called..

And the preening?

And the Sheen/Estevez clan,

And the spirit of neighborly cooperation broke out

And the Taj Meatball.

And the teacher spends it reading

And the tickets are free.

And the whatever your last name is es es is over.

And the winner is...

And the winning numbers are...

And the world will end in 2012!

And their bungus drops out.

And then I ran right home to you.

And then I start fighting dirty.

And then I wondered if the me she likes is the real me.

And then I...

And then there was the time I taught a dog to make oatmeal.

And then this happened.

And then what did you say?

And then what happened... was...

And then you can tell us where babies come from.

And then you rest it sweetly on her bosom

And then... then wha...

And there is no hope on Evergreen Terrace.

And there you have it, folks, rates will rise

And there'll be a lot more of them.

And there's a sign in front of it!

And there's nothing a woman loves more than that.

And these fake movie reviews are so mean,

And these skinny jeans will have flattened my junk for nothing!

And they ran away

And they tell their wives they're working,

And they usually come with furniture.

And they'll make it.

And they've put some rocks in his pocket and...

And this goes, too.

And this is Laddie Liberty!

And this is our baby, Corduroy,

And this isn't helping.

And this romantic train ride anniversary.

And this town's got losers like Mexico has headless corpses.

And those are the only two that reached the window.

And to do that, you have to be stubborn.

And to show you how serious I am...

And to think you'd do this on Mother's Day.

And trash his favorite restaurants on Yelp.

And two children one way downtown.

And uses computers from the future.

And watched Jennifer Tilly's DVD.

And we can get started.

And we found a way to get to New York.

And we listen to all our music

And we love that suit that hangs off you

And we shall be wed

And we will only use the finest ingredients

And we're already auditioning replacements.

And we're gonna be making a lot of stuff.

And we're gonna give you everything you need.

And we're more in love than ever.

And we're that flock of racist crows?

And we've got carpet mushrooms.

And we've got to change our approach to immigration.

And what better way to spend it than commemorating

And what eight year old wears pearls?

And what have you done with the pillows?

And what is your malady, my son?

And what, pray tell, is MHV?

And what's that smell?

And what's with the scarf?

And when a duck got sick,

And when guys lift too much weight

And when he brings a six pack to my house,

And when I started it was Moe's Ice Cream Carnival not good.

And when the guys in the first kkangpae found out,

And when you threw your son after it,

And which side was I on?

And while we're at it, no more tortellini!

And who won't just teach us corporate sponsored lessons.

And who'da thunk it?

And whoever she chooses to be with.

And why are we wearing our good clothes?

And why is that?

And work for you.

And worst of all, you cast my vote

And Xander if it's a boy.

And yes, it is the same hand I tapped you with.

And yet I still wound up here,

And you are he!

And you call these cups pleated?!

And you can find new love.

And you can't teach infuriating.

And you don't want to hear it.

And you got that super straight line there.

And you look like you could use a good ironing,

And you never visit me,

And you, Marvin Hamlisch,

And you.

And you're a baby face.

And you're fighting for me.

And your belt is a seat belt!

And, ladies, drop in on a neighbor's open house

And, Lenny, you get the drinks.

And, of course, to coat the rims of my margarita glasses.

And, uh, how was your day?

And, uh, you may never see a film in 3 D again.

And, you know, Marge, those salespeople

And...

Anger's a mood.

Angry at each other.

Another battle between the sexes begins...

Another betrayal!

Another invasive Skype from Mil... Huh?

Another layer of dirt.

Another mystery solved by Attorney General Janet Reno.

Another stupid kid got out.

Another surfer?

Another thing that would be harder with four kids.

Another way is don't drink.

Answer certain obscure questions of subatomic physics

Anti kidnapping bracelets.

Antique bayonets.

Any correlation to your talents, needs, or friends

Any further questions?

Any video game ever made.

Anyone can conduct Sousa.

Anyone can eat what they want

Anyone care for some chicken Pete pie?

Anyone else bringing up our kids,

Anyone got a problem? Huh?!

Anyone want their seat warmer?

Anyone who wants to be in this,

Anything new that wanders into this house

Anything to celebrate your I.P.O. tomorrow.

Anyway, Homer and that dog

Anyway, I must name a temporary replacement.

Anyway, this year, I'm gonna re create

Anyway, when the Four Horsemen ride,

Anyway...

Apes. Deep down, we're all savage apes.

Apparently there are a few stairs he's struggling to climb.

Apparently, his luck has changed.

Apparently, old folks homes

Apparently, screwing over your friends

Apparently, today is also the final stage

Apu's House of Spats.

Are Christian Bale and Adam West.

Are coming back up

Are desperately in need of our delivery of canned corn,

Are full of people that used to be things.

Are full of priceless treasures.

Are lazy and selfish and, hey, are you falling asleep

Are more contemplative than the book of Tobit.

Are propelling me forward. It's wonderful.

Are proud to present the Frinkasonic MHV.

Are still up by one on the Pin Pals.

Are the credits transferable?

Are there any two words

Are there other people in here?

Are too short and thin for your legs.

Are we forever to be trapped here in this sea?

Are we still on for midnight bike riding?

Are you "Wrinkled and Romantic"?

Are you and your husband here to look for a new car?

Are you doing an app behind my back?

Are you doing an app behind my back?

Are you getting a sore throat?

Are you going to fix the faucet or not?

Are you gonna let a sunny summer day be ruined

Are you gonna shoot me in the back of the head?

Are you gonna walk upstairs and ask her?

Are you interested in women?

Are you Marge?

Are you my guardian angel?

Are you nuts? You can't win if you don't play.

Are you okay, Daddy?

Are you playing poker with my college fund?

Are you pushing?

Are you really so disappointed the world didn't end,

Are you saying...

Are you sure it wasn't "Staying Alive?"

Are you sure Mom is really gonna want

Are you sure the Big Brother Program

Are you sure there isn't more?

Are you sure you want to go to work today?

Are you sure you want to take that chance?

Are you sure you're not just doing all this

Are you sure your next guess wasn't

Are you that good with a knife?

Are you watching it?

Are you watching the commercial again?

Are you wearing a wallet chain?

Are your kids gonna be there?

Aren't they just saying "refrigerator"?

Aren't you going to come in?

Argh.

Around another nursing mom.

As a defendant and a juror, it's stay out of the courtroom.

As a mechanic, I'm not totally qualified

As decided in the case of Rubber v. Glue

As far away as you can and release them into the wild.

As for Homer, I'm getting him a case

As for Milhouse and Lisa...

As for Milhouse and Lisa...

As for the quarters, well,

As for you, your only hope

As Homer prepares to fight for his marriage,

As if all the weird, angry people had left.

As in, "because I say so."

As it did when this mall was young.

As long as everybody wants me dead.

As long as he doesn't...

As long as he's a nice person.

As long as they eat too much.

As long as we don't make it a habit.

As merely a whistle that slides.

As Mr. Drake says on Upton Rectory.

As much a sin as not replying to an instant message.

As my more ruthless cousin on Wall Street would say,

As second grade student faculty liaison,

As the most difficult book of the Apocrypha.

As the pilot lifted the big jet off the Dallas runway,

As to what the suspect just might look like.

As you can see here, a shadowy figure emerges

As your boss.

As your inattentive son, and your incompetent employee,

As your poorly produced local commercial said.

Ask his girlfriend, the game.

Assuming for the birth of Jesus,

Asterisk, pound sign, at sign, exclamation point!

At 3:00 a.m. on NPR.

At all the time I wasted.

At first, he couldn't stand his son in law,

At least at Krustyburger,

At least I can delete these Westminster Dog Shows.

At least I don't have to train the new bartender

At least I still got Moe's.

At least I'm with someone who tries a little too hard

At least maybe a pinata?

At least the pennant works both ways.

At Patty's new lady friend's travel bookstore soft opening.

At that moment, I had a vision

At the art walk, we walked into a gallery,