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Home > Brian Griffin Sounds: Family Guy...
A drug problem?
Ah.
Ah.
Alright, where's the stash? I'll do a freaking body cavity search, I swear.
Am I stealing your Thunder, Joe? Is that it?
And all I've got is 50 bucks.
And I just want to tell you how sorry I am about this. I don't know what came over me.
And look at you 2 quasimoto and lumpy.
And that's when you notice the cable man is taking his pants off.
And you're despicable for trying.
Are you on a cell phone?
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Biodome.
Brian Griffin.
But I can't eat it because then I'll get fat.
But it's all good.
Buzzing.
Can I buy some pot from you?
Can you hear me all the way back there in the 50s?
Come on, baby girl, let's go to the park.
Come on.
Cookies.
Did you stay up all night writing?
Do I have to listen to this drivel 24 hours a day?
Do you rent or own?
Do you think I'll ever find the right woman?
Do.
Doesn't get much gayer than this.
Dog.
Don't shoot dare.
Enus.
Excuse me, would you like to taste my smoked meat log?
Feels like forever. Since I've had a smoke, I'm just a bit testy.
Filthy drug peddling midgets.
For God's sake, I'm trying to get healthy.
God, I hate you so much.
Good Lord.
Good morning.
Good.
Goodbye.
Gorgeous.
Hahaha.
He'll do a freaking body cavity search, I swear.
Here's a hint. Put down the fork.
Hey you guys.
Hey, come on. You, you, you, you have a you have a great job.
Hey, how about little ask questions and a little more? Shut the hell up.
Hey, how you doing, kid?
Hey, kids.
Hey, you know what might be a thrill for you guys?
Hi, I'm Brian Griffin.
Hi, I'm, I'm Brian Griffin.
Hold on, hold on. Relax. Everybody relax.
How about Musso and Franks 8:00 o'clock?
How you doing, kid?
How's it going?
How's it going?
Huh. This is the rush I've been looking for.
I am not going to put up with this racket for two weeks.
I came here to get clean and I did.
I guess anything's better than looking at your smelly face.
I guess so.
I had no idea.
I have had it with you, you old hag.
I hope you all kill each other.
I I I noticed you got a new receptionist.
I just can't do this.
I know there's nothing nothing to.
I know.
I know.
I leave more personality and tightly coiled piles on the lawn.
I love children. That's why I'm here.
I made my own mistakes alright.
I mean, I I've been around, you know, I've, I've, I've looked my share of peanut butter.
I mean, I, I I can't even think of a reason to get off the bed in the morning.
I might not make it to Christmas.
I notice you got a new receptionist.
I saw Doctor Phillips today.
I used to love this game.
I want the opportunity to raise my puppies.
I want to make this perfectly clear. There is absolutely no way I would possibly consider doing something like this.
I'd rather they think I'm a jerk than a smut peddler.
I'm gonna sue your dad for custody.
I'm here from the outreach to the elderly program.
I'm really not comfortable talking about this a melodically.
I'm really not comfortable talking about this.
I'm sorry, there's just no way I can do this.
I'm. I'm sorry. It it just feels like forever since I've had a smoke. I'm. I'm just a bit testy.
I've licked my share of peanut butter.
I've seen that behind the music with Leif Garrett 18 times.
It it it's me.
It's a newly married interracial gay couple burning the American flag.
It's coke.
It's it's like I'm, I don't know, trapped in my own life.
It's me, Brian.
It's me.
Ja, ja.
Julie.
Last Saturday night.
Lately, I've just been having these urges.
Laugh 2
Lois.
Look over there.
Look you, you, you, you you guys got it all wrong. I.
Look, everybody cool it. I am not gonna put up with this racket for two weeks.
Look, I know it's gross, but when you're desperate and you're staring death in the face, you have no other choice.
Look, we're going to die if we don't.
Look, you're not one to talk, alright?
May 7th.
Maybe you should go back to Graduate School and finish your dissertation.
Me.
More people I love think I'm an arrogant jerk.
Mr. Taylor.
Musso and Franks is famous.
My face is plastered all over the news. Your father won't let me see the dog who's carrying my puppies, and my best friend is going to incredible lengths to ignore me.
My father wasn't there for me, but damn it, I'm going to be there for my kids.
My name is Brian. I'm here from the outreach to the elderly program.
My name's Brian.
Nah.
Nice little body on her, huh?
No, I don't have the guts to respond. Huh. No intelligent defense of this unmitigated crap.
No, no, I'm. I'm clean.
No, no. I mean yes.
No.
No.
No.
Oh my God.
Oh no.
Oh, gorgeous.
Oh, oh, thanks.
Ohh boy, what's the word I'm looking for?
Ohh finally.
Ohh God I need help. Ohh.
Ohh I'm so sorry everyone ohh God I need help. Ohh.
Ohh sorry.
Ohh, I'm sorry. I no that that that was good. I I just, I didn't think you were gonna go so cartoony with.
Ohh, sorry, things get a little too real for the Stepford wife.
OK.
OK.
Or just every waking hour?
Or love chocolate.
Pearl Burton.
Peter.
Piss off.
Pure Bogota bullion.
Put down the fork.
QRSTUVWXYZ.
Really.
Really.
Shut the hell up.
So goodbye.
So this is some kind of shampoo commercial, right?
Sorry to be tardy to the party.
Sorry, I I thought I smelled. Cookies.
Stop.
Stop. It's coke.
Sure.
Terrible.
Thank you.
Thanks.
That was fantastic. That was so incredible.
That'll make you feel better, right?
That's it. I have had it with you, you old hag, you, you. You're just a miserable dried up shut and trying to make everyone else feel as bad as you do. Why don't you do the world a big favor and dr...
That's, that's right.
The hell it is.
There is absolutely no way I would possibly consider doing something like this.
There's something I got to tell you.
They're my kids and I'm gonna get them back.
They're not kids, they're midgets.
Things get a little too real for the Stepford wife.
This is a drug ring.
This is great, huh? This is the rush I've been looking for.
This is Mr. Taylor.
This is some kind of shampoo commercial, right?
This is Tina.
This place is horrible.
Those puppies in there are mine, and I'll give anything to be with.
Those puppies in there are mine.
Those wings, you Angel.
Tina.
To.
Uh, sure.
Uh, yeah.
Um.
Wake up.
We have to slice open our camel stomach and shelter ourselves in his entrails.
Well, I got news for you. It's it's it's it's it's not even on the radar screen. The days of decency and virtue were gone, honey. Bam. Freaking evaporated like a dingy, stinking mud puddle when one...
Well, I I know it's it's just.
Well, I think it's a crappy thing.
Well, I.
Well, that makes sense.
Well, we could probably call this an early day, huh?
Well, you seem awfully enthusiastic.
Well, you're saying it out loud. I could hear you in the other room.
What a piece of self indulgent crap.
What are you doing here?
What are you doing?
What do you suggest?
What I'd really like for dinner is to go out.
What the hell are you doing?
What the hell is this?
What the hell?
What?
What?
What? You like that, huh? You like that? You just do this out, don't you? Turn this out. Wow.
What's the matter with you?
What's the?
What's this really about? Jealousy.
What's your name?
Whoa. What the hell are you doing?
Why don't you do the world a big favor and drop dead?
Why don't you shut up for about a week?
Would you like to taste my smoked meat log?
Wow, the evidence is really piling up.
Wow.
Wow. You just tune this out, don't you? Wow. Well, tune this out. Wow.
Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yes.
You are screwed up in the head.
You are twisted lady. You you hear me? You are screwed up in the head.
You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?
You know Musso and Frank's famous.
You know, it's just easier to call you stupid.
You make me sick letting yourselves be bought off with a few lousy perks.
You really think that, don't you?