The Simpsons Movie Edit

A pig wearing a hat!

A shocking discovery has been made here at Lake Springfield.

A thousand eyes!

Absolutely. But on the other hand, knowing things is overrated.

Act natural.

Action.

Actually, it's aged me horribly.

Actually, you doomed us all. Again. Nice knowing you, Homer.

Aftershock!

Agreed.

Alaska?

Alaska. A place where you can't be too fat or too drunk.

All in favor of a new scissor lift, say "aye."

All my dreams are coming true.

All right, boy, time for the ultimate dare.

All right, men, open fire.

All right, son. If you don't believe in me, believe in America.

All right, well, thanks a lot for coming.

All you have to do is conquer the Ball of Death.

Am I getting through to anyone?

Amen.

America. Where any man can make quick money with no questions asked.

Americans will never embrace soccer?

An immodest sense of pride in our community.

And by the way, what are you doing with his leavings?

And here's how I want them arranged: Tough, tough, soft, tough...

And I overlook these things because...

And I wish you didn't have the devil's curly hair.

And I've really come to like you guys.

And if we kept our thermostats at 68 in winter...

And if you look real close, you can almost...

And now there's only time to say:

And now to find my family, save my town and drop 10 pounds!

And so nobody else gets out...

And that plan is right here!

And that's three.

And there's only one answer when somebody says that.

And they're gonna happen to you! And you! And you! And you.

And to prove to myself that this is the end...

And we're clear.

And what happens to me if it's my fault?

And why did I take the job?

Anyone can pick something when they know what it is.

Apparently someone didn 't get the message.

Archers.

Are we having fun yet?

Are you aware that a leaky faucet can waste over...?

Are you tired of the same old Grand Canyon?

As I speak, we're lowering a small but powerful bomb into your midst.

Assistant manager isn't all it's cracked up to be.

At ease. I'm General Marriott Suites...

At your wedding, I'll sing:

Attention, Springfield.

Bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

Bart, stop it! Leave this to me.

Bart, you know, whenever my boys bake up a batch of frownies...

Bart!

Bart? Son?

Bear with me.

Because I'm a rich man who wanted to give something back.

Because my family cares more about other people than they do about me.

Because nothing means more than for a man to...

Because other people are just as important as me.

Because?

Because...?

Before we can even stay in the same room with you...

Believe me! Believe me!

Best kiss of my life.

Best kiss of your life so far.

Beware! Beware! Time is short!

Bingo.

Black? That's the worst color there is.

Boring!

Boy! You survived! How?

Boys, before we eat, don't forget to thank the Lord for this bountiful...

But first, one stop.

But his last words were:

But how am I supposed to get up there?

But I knew you wouldn't listen.

But I...

But I'm so angry.

But if they see you helping us, they'll kill you.

But that's okay, because we love him and we got a free rug out of it.

But the pollution in your lake, it's dissolving our barge.

But the very best thing is that he listens to you.

But we never saw him again

But we're fugitives. We should just lay low till we get to Seattle.

But we're going to stop them.

But which way do I go?

Bye, everybody.

Can he swing from a web?

Can he swing from a web?

Check.

Check. "Fix sinkhole."

Chief, I think there was a dead body in there.

Clap for Alaska!

Classic.

Code black.

Colin!

Colin? Colin!

Colin. Hi.

Come here, son.

Come on over, Lisa.

Come on, bomb disarming robot. You're our last hope.

Come on, Dad, let's go. I've been holding it since they put the dome over the town.

Coming up on your right:

Crawl across. Hurry.

Dad, do something!

Dad, how can you turn your back on everyone who loved us?

Dad, in case I miss...

Dad, it's not fair to use a bug zapper to catch the fish.

Dad, we can't see the movie.

Dad?

Dad?

Damn it!

Day 37 under the dome.

Day 93 under the dome.

Despite everything, I miss your father.

Did you at least bring my clothes?

Did you see that?

Did you see the news?

Diddily diddily.

Do you play?

Does whatever a Spider Pig does

Does whatever a Spider Pig does

Does whatever a Spider Pig does

Does your dad ever take you fishing?

Dome Depot!

Dome!

Don 't worry about that. We found a way to take you off the map.

Don't get any ideas.

Don't give up, Homer. You are closer than you think.

Don't look where I'm pointing!

Don't worry, I have a solution for you, sir.

Don't worry, nobody watches this stupid show.

Don't worry, we found a friend for you to play with.

Don't worry. I've devised a most elegant solution.

Drama queen!

Dream coming true.

Drink this liquid.

Drive, drive, drive!

Each will cause untold misery...

Efforts to find out whose selfish crime...

Epiphany, epiphany, epiphany.

Especially you.

Especially you.

Every morning, you'll wake up to "Good morning, chicken."

Evil!

Excuse me! Watch out! Coming through!

Excuse me. My heinie is dipping.

Feel the spirit.

Fine. I will put my yard trimmings in a car compactor.

Flanders helped when we were in trouble.

Floor popcorn.

For the latest rock band to die in our town...

Four generations of inbreeding?

Four years of film school for this?

Gay, gay, gay.

Gentlemen, it's been an honor playing with you tonight.

Get down from there. We have to keep a low profile...

Get out of here!

Get them! Get them!

Girls might see my doodle.

Good evening, this is Kent Brockman.

Good job.

Goodbye, Homie.

Goodbye, sir.

Goodbye.

He also does me.

He filled up the whole silo in just two days?

He is a Spider Pig

He is a Spider Pig

He'd been talking about it, but I didn't take him seriously.

He's a Spider Pig

He's not imaginary!

He's not Spider Pig anymore, he's Harry Plopper.

He's pure gold. For once in your life, be cool.

Health inspector shut down the doughnut store, they're giving out free doughnuts!

Hell, yeah. We need a new one of those things.

Hello, Homer.

Hello.

Hello. I'm Tom Hanks.

Hello. Sorry to bother you on a Sunday...

Here we are, kids, the Grand Canyon.

Here, let me get that for you.

Here. Buy yourself something nice.

Here's what I'll do, because I like seeing you hurt yourself:

Hey, buddy, sooner or later, people are gonna discover this.

Hey, everybody, I found one!

Hey, guys?

Hey, hey! It's your old pal Krusty, for my new pork sandwich, the Klogger.

Hey, how you doing? Good to see you. Thanks for coming out.

Hey, I know how you feel. I was beat in tic tac toe by a chicken.

Hey, I tried my best. What am I supposed to do?

Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married to someone who's recklessly impulsive?

Hey, Mr. Big TV Man, lookie here!

Hey, my luck's beginning to turn.

Hey, what are you doing?

Hey, what the hell are you...?

Hey! Jab one more eye and it's a federal crime.

Hey. I am very passionate about the planet.

Hey. If one of us distracts Cargill, the rest of us can climb up that thing.

Hi, I'm calling about your Meat Lover's pizza.

His big, fat ass could shield us all.

Homer do good?

Homer Simpson!

Homer Simpson...

Homer, I don't mean to be a Nervous Pervis...

Homer, it was you.

Homer, stop! Stop. I know it's easy for your mind to wander...

Homer, they can hear you inside.

Homer, you gotta get over here.

Homer, you have to go out there, face that mob...

Homer!

Homer!

Homer!

Homer!

Homer? What the hell are you doing now?

Homer...

Homer...

Homie, get your clothes on. Homie?

Honey, come on, we have bigger problems.

Honey, I'm home.

Horrible, horrible things are going to happen!

How about a dare contest?

How are we supposed to get to Alaska without any money?

How could you say that?

How did the pig tracks get on the ceiling?

How dilly doo dilly. How dilly doo dilly.

How good to see you. And how terrible you're here.

How long are we doing this?

How to cope with defeat, and how to handle a shotgun.

How you doing? Peace be with you. Praise Jebus.

I beg to differ.

I believe it's the sound the Green Lantern made...

I believe what happened in church was a warning about precisely this.

I can hear birds.

I can smell fresh air.

I can't believe it, but it got even crappier.

I can't believe we're paying to see something we get on TV for free.

I can't believe you'd say something so selfish.

I can't do anything right.

I can't escape the feeling that this is the crisis Grampa warned us about.

I can't hear you!

I can't take another minute in this dome!

I can't. I simply can't.

I dare you to skateboard to Krusty Burger and back...

I did things no dog should do.

I do, I do, I do!

I don't blame you, son. I wasn't much of a father.

I don't know if you guys should be talking so loud.

I don't know what to tell you, Marge. I don't think about things.

I don't know, Homie.

I got her all warmed up for you.

I hate being late.

I hate this job. Everything's "crisis" this and "end of the world" that.

I have just perfected an acid firing super drill...

I have spoken!

I have two buttons behind this desk.

I haven't seen you at school.

I hope I do.

I hope it's okay.

I just don 't know how to finish that sentence anymore.

I just don't see it.

I know. It's weird.

I like ice cream.

I like meat, but I don 't know if I'm ready to love again.

I like men now.

I love you too.

I love you.

I mean, oh.

I miss Flanders. There, I said it!

I never saw Venice.

I never thought my life would have an absolutely perfect moment, but this is...

I own the company that makes the dome, but that's beside the point.

I pick number three.

I respect people who do...

I rest my case.

I taste freedom.

I think fishing might be more fun with you.

I think I have a nibble.

I think the thing I miss most is a simple summer breeze.

I thought that too, until he said "yard trimmings."

I thought they touched on a vital issue.

I want 10,000 tough guys...

I want a father who's the same in the morning as he is at night.

I want bananas on my waffles.

I want you to let that word out. Let your spirit...

I was elected to lead, not to read. Number three!

I was tricked by an idiot.

I wish he was.

I wish Homer was my father.

I would, but I'm afraid if I open the door, they'll take all of you.

I'll give you one on the house.

I'll have to go back to making family comedies.

I'll let you hold the bomb.

I'll strangle angle you!

I'll take care of it. You know nothing.

I'll take that truck now.

I'll teach you to laugh at something that's funny!

I'll tell you what happened to him. A certain someone had a senior moment.

I'll write you. Lead good lives!

I'm a wiener?

I'm afraid we lost them, sir.

I'm at my wits' end.

I'm Colin.

I'm going to call on one of you!

I'm going to do both right now.

I'm happy here. Screw Springfield!

I'm home!

I'm not dropping this.

I'm not saying it right.

I'm not sure that pig should be in the house.

I'm out of the dome. Fresh air! Freedom!

I'm part of the mob!

I'm pretty sure a thousand is a number.

I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought. Isn't he dreamy?

I'm sure your father would do the same for...

I'm the mascot of an evil corporation.

I'm using a red arrow so I know who I kill.

I'm very proud of you, Bart. Over 24 hours sober.

I've always been afraid I'd screw up our lives so badly we'd need a backup plan.

I've been taking your crap all my life!

I've spent my entire life doing nothing but collecting comic books.

If I stay, I'm trapped. If I leave, I'm alone.

If that's true, then you should be taking the rap here, not your son.

If we don't change our ways right now...

If we don't do something now...

If we don't get a new book, I'm going to puke.

If you ask me, everybody in this theater is a giant sucker.

If you can find a greasier sandwich, you're in Mexico!

If you love fish like I do, you want them to die with dignity.

If you need pants, I carry an extra pair.

If you see me in person, please, leave me be.

If you're going to pick a government to trust, why not this one?

In fact, I have five solutions.

In order to save myself...

It says to release this town immediately.

It seems to me, son, that your father's saying that...

It takes real leadership to pick something you're clueless about.

It was all his idea! He's out of control, I tell you!

It's a myth! Further study is needed!

It's all come true.

It's amazing no one was hurt.

It's hopeless.

It's huge! We're homeless!

It's leaking.

It's like Christmas at the Kennedy compound.

It's not leaking, it's overflowing.

It's nowhere near where anything is or ever was.

It's right there.

It's so old and boring. I want a new one. Now!

It's so...

It's the last thing we wanted to do.

It's the time of year when the swallows return to Springfield.

Itchy... Itchy...

Ja, that is me.

Jabbity, jabbity, jab, jab, jab!

Jump! Jump!

Just a reminder, this station does not endorse vigilante justice.

Just give us beef jerky.

Just look into your heart and you'll find the answer.

Just move on.

Just outside of the dome.

Just passing the time.

Just piano, guitar, trumpet, drums and bass.

Just ride the motorcycle all the way around just one time.

Kill! Kill! Kill!

Kill! Kill! Kill!

Kind of sweaty. Sorry.

Lake Springfield has higher levels of mercury than ev...

Lake Springfield is...

Land! Land!

Lately, what's keeping us together...

Let it out!

Let the Lord's light shine upon you.

Let us now make sure this barrier is completely idiot proof.

Let us out! Let us out!

Let's quickly rebuild our lives while he's gone.

Life well spent!

Like making love, wine and cheese

Like Roqueforts, Camemberts and Bries

Lisa!

Lisa! Knock off that racket.

Lisa? Colin's dead.

Lisa's got a boyfriend that she'll never see again!

Listen to me, all of you. We are staying.

Listen, kid, nobody likes wearing clothes in public, but, you know, it's the law.

Listen. I was just wondering if...

Little help?

Lives will be lost.

Look at it.

Look at that. You can see the four states that border Springfield:

Look at those angry eyes and giant teeth.

Look out He is the Spider Pig

Look out!

Look out!

Look out!

Look what I can do with my thumb.

Look what they're doing to our dome.

Look, all our reasons mean nothing.

Look, I know I screwed up. This is big.

Look, I'm a man on a big TV. Just listen.

Look, I'm really sorry. But I'm more than just sorry...

Look, the thing is, I can't start a new life alone.

Look, we can't keep stopping at every "sop," "yeld" or "one vay" sign.

Looking through people's luggage.

Lord, hear our prayer.

Lots and lots of beef jerky.

Lunchtime!

Maggie got out! Maggie got out!

Maggie was right there, just outside the dome.

Maggie, not now.

Maggie! What a great little accident you turned out to be.

Maggie?

Marge, in every marriage, you get one chance to say:

Marge, look. Those idiots don't even know where we live.

Marge, she's right here.

Marge, those people chased us with pitchforks and torches.

Marge! Marge!

Marge? Kids?

Marge? Kids?

Marge.

Maybe it starts with the way my dad raised me.

Maybe we should kiss, just to break the tension.

Me too.

Milhouse, you don't care about the environment.

Moe, what happened?

Mom, I've gotta go find Colin.

Mom, what are we gonna do?

Moment, please.

More than two shakes and it's playing with yourself?

More, please.

Moved from Ireland. My dad's a musician.

Movie on the big screen!

Mr. President.

Much obliged.

Must keep going. Must keep going.

My boy loves Alaska so much, he's applauding it.

My name is Russ Cargill and I'm head of the EPA.

My time to shine.

Nelson, honey, where have you been?

Never known comfort like this.

Next stop, Alaska!

No more dumping in the lake. I hereby declare a state of emergency.

No way. Cocoa's for wusses.

No, he can 't, he's a pig

No, he can 't, he's a pig

No, I can't!

No, I can't. I can't keep going.

No, no, wait! I still didn't tell you the best part.

No, Plopper. If you push that, Daddy will die.

No, rats can 't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like carrots.

No, the lift is stuck.

No, we won't. We just want Homer!

No, you stink.

No, you. No, you.

No, you. Oh, real mature.

No, you're not!

No! No. No, we don't. I forgot, we're European.

No.

No.

No. I can't do it.

No. I need to know what I'm approving.

Nobody opens with a joke. I miss Danny De Vito.

Nope.

Not now, sweetie. Doomsday is family time.

Not the money, but something.

Nothing.

Nothing. Nothing.

Now Homer Simpson's gonna show he has cojones!

Now we will cleanse your spirit...

Now we'd like just a minute of your time to say something about the environment.

Now, as always, we end our news on "The Lighter Side."

Now, I know we've had a rough day...

Now, I'm pleased to tell you all about the New Grand Canyon.

Now, that was a great father son activity.

Now, the word of God dwells within everyone.

Of course I do.

Of course. Ever try going mad without power? It's boring. No one listens to you.

Oh, do whatever you want to me. I don't care about myself anymore.

Oh, God. In, out, in, out!

Oh, great. Now, how about I fix you some cocoa?

Oh, hi, Midge.

Oh, honey, that's great.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, I see. Then I hereby declare you chicken for life.

Oh, Lisa, it's not like the government is listening to everybody's conversation.

Oh, man.

Oh, man. My wives are gonna kill me.

Oh, my God, oh, my God! I just got one thing I gotta do first.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Her first word.

Oh, my God. There they are!

Oh, no, my good pole!

Oh, no, the "epipha tree"!

Oh, no! Blowback!

Oh, poor Milhouse.

Oh, right.

Oh, right.

Oh, shut up!

Oh, thanks.

Oh, that's better.

Oh, wait! I still didn't tell you the best part. He's got an Irish brogue.

Oh, wait. I didn't tell you the best part. He loves the environment.

Oh, way to go, Bart.

Oh, what's the point?

Oh, yeah? Look what I did to your picture.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you have so many looks.

Oh, you're gonna love him. Look, he does an impression of you.

Ohio, Nevada, Maine and Kentucky.

Okay, boys. When you meet Jesus, be sure to call him Mr. Christ.

Okay, here goes.

Okay, Homie, I'm with you.

Okay, Marge. I will.

Okay, so here's the bottom line:

Okay, son, let's get some lunch.

Okay, very funny. I'm gonna turn the lights off again.

Okay, who wants waffles?

Okay, you've only got one shot to throw that bomb through the hole.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Hail, emperor.

One more time.

One will supply your town with power, the other releases the hounds.

Our friends wanna kill us!

Penis?!

People got out of the dome before, they're gonna get out again.

People of Springfield, heed this warning:

People, people. I have an important announcement.

Perfect.

Perfect. Cut, print, kill the pig.

Please, get rid of that pig.

Point taken. Now, hustle your bustles.

Pollution in Springfield has reached crisis levels.

Pressure!

Reach me. Make me your brother.

Red wire. Blue wire. Black is usually the ground.

Relax. Those pious morons are too busy talking to their phony baloney God.

Rest! Rest!

Right, Grampa?

Risking my life to save people I hate...

Rough day, huh, son?

Run! Run!

Run! Run!

Run! Run!

Run! Run!

Russ Cargill, head of the EPA, here to see the president.

Russ Cargill! Do you think he saw us?

Say global warming is a myth.

See you in court, kid.

Sequel?

She hung up on me!

Shirt, socks, everything you need.

Shut up, Flanders.

Sir, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power.

Smithers, I don't believe in suicide...

So here is our chance to kick some ass for Mother Earth.

So I took the liberty of pouring water from the lake in all your drinking glasses.

So I'm leaving with the kids to help Springfield...

So is your name as pretty as your face?

So long, losers!

So much pressure.

So that's what snug is.

So we meet at last, whoever you are.

So you want some of my electricity, do you?

Somebody else?

Somebody throw the goddamn bomb!

Something happened to that man.

Sorry, Homer.

Sorry, sorry. No dumping in the lake.

Spider Pig, Spider Pig

Spider Pig, Spider Pig

Spider Pig, Spider Pig

Springfield doesn 't have an anthem

Springfield, I'm scared, goodbye

Springfield, we're going to die

Springfield.

Stay back. I got a chain saw.

Steady.

Steady.

Steady.

Steady.

Steady.

Steady.

Steady. Steady.

Steady...

Step right up and win my truck!

Stop in the name of American squeamishness!

Stop that. You'll scratch your shackles.

Sudden realization of great truth.

Sure thing, son.

Sure.

Take that.

Teeny! Take out the baby.

Tell him you dared me to do it.

Tempting. Tempting.

Ten hut!

Ten hut!

Thank you, boob lady.

Thank you, my sweetheart.

Thank you.

Thanks for giving me your pregnancy pants.

Thanks for listening.

Thanks, boy.

Thanks, losers.

Thanks.

That could be anybody's pig crap silo.

That counts as a try.

That crazy old man in church was right.

That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

That sounds fun. I dare you to...

That was the most incredible experience of my life.

That's for selling out your beliefs.

That's it! Isn't it?

That's my whipping arm!

That's not so bad.

That's right. That's what we need. That's all we came in for.

That's two.

That's where Springfield is!

The dome has put an end to life as we know it.

The good Lord is telling me to confess to something.

The government actually found someone we're looking for!

The hospital's generator is about to give out.

The man knows me.

The only time you should lay hands on a boy...

The sinkhole. Follow me, kids!

The top of his head is still showing. Claw at it!

The town is running low on supplies of everything from gasoline to Botox.

The Treasure of Imawiener.

The tune we stole from the French

The U.S. Government has lost its credibility...

The United States government.

The what?

The worst day of your life so far.

Then say hello to the newest Simpson.

There's a few things they do well

There's always room for one more in the Flanders clan.

There's something strange about that "sop" sign.

There's two things they don't teach you at Harvard Business School.

Therefore, we're commencing with Operation Soaring Eagle.

They captured my family. What do I do? What do I do?

They will haunt me forever.

They've taken everything, sir.

This book doesn't have any answers!

This dome can play tricks on you. You just have to keep calm and...

This feels good. No wonder you do it.

This is it, kids. Seattle.

This is Kent Brockman, reporting to you on a crisis so serious...

This is serious, people.

This is the worst day of my life.

This is Tom Hanks, saying:

This is Tom Hanks, saying:

This is why we should hate kids.

This lake is just one piece of trash away from a toxic nightmare.

This weekend. East of Shelbyville and south of Capitol City.

Three tries for $ 10.

Throat singing?

To keep your poisons from spreading...

Today I'd like to try something a little different.

Torches! At 4 in the afternoon!

Tousle my hair, Mr. Hanks.

Trapped forever!

Try to dump something in the lake.

Twisted tail!

Twisted tail! A thousand eyes! Trapped forever!

Two thousand gallons a year.

Unless it gets results. Which it will.

Unless you have an epiphany...

Until moments ago!

Up here.

Wait a minute. I'm still in the car.

Wait a minute. What about Grampa?

Wait, wait, wait! It looks like Maggie has something to say.

Wait! If you kill my dad...

Wait! There's something I have to get.

Wait. We couldn't be more polluted. Everyone stopped dumping in the lake.

Way back.

We are at the tipping point, people.

We are facing intermittent power failures which...

We are now. You've got a bite.

We come in peace for cats and mice everywhere.

We did it, boy!

We got a convict we were gonna fry tomorrow, but now we can't.

We have a great life in Alaska...

We lost them.

We need diapers.

We paid a short guy to write it

We pay every resident $ 1000...

We thank you, Lord, for this mighty fine intelligent design.

We thought we had one But we don 't

We want Homer! We want Homer!

We'd be free from our dependency on foreign oil in 17 years.

We'll play later.

We're being sealed in a dome!

We're giving your father another chance, and we owe it to him to...

We're going to need more birds.

We're neighbors. I'm sure your father would do the same for my boys.

We're out of coffee!

We're saving Springfield!

We've been playing for three and a half hours.

We've got dome wax, dome polish, dome freshener, all your dome needs...

Welcome to Alaska. Here's $ 1000.

Well, always leave them laughing.

Well, at least my poster didn't get torn.

Well, for once, the rich white man is in control.

Well, I don't like to brag, but I am now the emperor of Springfield.

Well, I guess I've let her worry about me long enough.

Well, I hate going.

Well, I helped.

Well, I wanna make sure no animals were harmed...

Well, I was gonna say get some ice cream, but okay.

Well, it's about time! But why?

Well, it's not good for anything.

Well, Marge, we're separated from the kids by a wall of snow.

Well, maybe not you, but they'll kill Grampa.

Well, sir, if you change your mind, it's on the windowsill.

Well, that's the thing.

Well, then, you find them and you get them back in the dome.

Well, they're China's problem now.

Well, this certainly seems odd...

Well, you better hurry. They're going fast.

What are you doing, Bart?

What could that be?

What do I do? I don't know what to do!

What do you want?

What is it, Ned?

What is the point of going to church every Sunday...

What kind of a father wouldn't care about...?

What kind of fun?

What ruthless madmen could have done this to us?

What the...? Strangling's only good for...

What treasure?

What? What's going on?

What...? This isn't the way I pictured Alaska at all!

What...?! You can't kill him if he's wearing people clothes!

What's an epiphany?

What's going on here?

What's that ominous glow in the distance?

What's that word?

What's the secret knock, again?

When people point out your flaws...

When they come back on, I want all my booze back the way it was.

When they do, there's gonna be hearings, investigations...

When you get to the top, don't slow down, speed up!