The Nanny Diaries (2007) Edit

A Central Park bag lady I would be.

A charmed life?

A college grad, and terminally single.

A family trip has been long overdue.

A high soy organic diet.

A kind...

A little challenging. So rewarding though.

A nanny?

A phenomenon known as "going native."

Actually, I just lost my nanny Bertie,

Actually, I know a longer word.

Actually, I know the perfect place.

Actually, I'm a nanny.

Actually, it's all of you in about five years.

Actually, this job kind of chose me.

Actually, this nanny is me.

Adultery is pathologically ignored.

After a lost summer of being Nanny,

After Gagosian,

After graduation,

After my night with Harvard Hottie,

After successfully mating

After the abrupt termination of my field work,

Age... 21.

Ah, comme ci comme ca.

Aha!

Alexandra.

All I got's $100.

All I need now is my husband.

All I'm getting is a million flat.

All my money and I can't get fresh squeezed? Come on.

All right, here they are...

All right, listen up, people. This is my apartment.

All right, stop with the negativity.

All right, well, I gotta go.

All right, what about... what about Grover?

All right, you know what? Just give me the change

All right? Now let me see how handsome you look in your uniform.

All right. Bye.

Also, I was thinking, we should introduce French food into his diet.

Also, some roses arrived for you.

An amazing amazing little person.

An entire week has gone by and you haven't called me back.

An opportunity to completely duck out of my life.

And a head's up here, lady.

And break Grayer's heart.

And do this?

And European exchange programs.

And for that, I owe you the world.

And he's very very sorry.

And here you are, fresh out of college

And hopefully it'll ease up his cough and he can get some rest.

And I certainly hope that you're in a better mood...

And I have vomit all over me and there's nobody here.

And I made plans.

And I prefer him tired when I get home.

And I'm starting to think you and that lady

And I'm warning you, I won't take no for an answer.

And if you don't get out of here right now, she's gonna throw me out too.

And if you really hate me after that...

And it's only... it's only 1:00.

And just put everything in the laundry?

And most importantly,

And my roommate Lisa is away

And not answering emergency calls,

And now looking back, I don't know what to say

And once I finally let myself say it,

And once we get any closer, I won't be able to go near you.

And picking up Mrs. X's laundry.

And producing offspring,

And provide for their families.

And quietly tolerated.

And quietly tolerated.

And quit.

And still be...

And tell the nanny to give him his damn card?

And the apartment is just incredible.

And then afterwards, we'll all head over to the Carlyle

And then for a car to pick you up on the other end.

And then in the middle of my body scrub,

And this fun meal has to be our little secret, okay?

And this is what she's like after Betty Ford.

And time's running out,

And type C, the most common,

And we just let him have it.

And what is all over you?

And what's worse, every time I confront her

And where, may I ask, have you been?

And while I've been raising these strangers' children,

And why are your bags

And why I'm telling off a teddy bear is the subject

And yet, staring into those big, sad, searching eyes,

And you can dream about building sand castles?

And you obviously have become her enabler.

And you requested a day off,

And your attempts to stay young so your husband won't leave you,

And your Watsu massages

And...

And... and you like the Dior?

Annie Braddock is

Annie Braddock,

Annie, it's your mother.

Annie: "The apatosaurus, formerly known as the brontosaurus,

Annie: And here's the woman who reared me

Annie: Bonjour, Pierre.

Annie: Excuse me, sir? Sir.

Annie: How about her?

Annie: I just don't understand it.

Annie: I love that song.

Annie: Make a wish, Grove.

Annie: No naps?

Annie: So here I am a few months before the teddy bear incident...

Annie: Sorry.

Annie: Stupid stupid.

Annie: The woman featured here...

Annie: Tofu cutlets?

Annie: You excited about going to Nantucket?

Annie!

Annie!

Annie?

Annie.

Annie. Annie the nanny.

Annie's roommate Lisa introduced us.

Annie's voice: All they needed to know was that I was white,

Annie's voice: And this is how the most significant confrontation

Annie's voice: Freedom, Grove.

Annie's voice: I desperately wanted to yell out after her,

Annie's voice: In conclusion,

Annie's voice: It quickly became clear

Annie's voice: Male monogamy remains an elusive,

Annie's voice: On that spring afternoon,

Annie's voice: Please make note that from here on in,

Annie's voice: Since my job required a vow of chastity,

Annie's voice: Suddenly the world's most notorious loner

Annie's voice: The fact that I had no child care experience

Annie's voice: The other nannies had warned me about this very moment,

Annie's voice: There's a popular belief amongst anthropologists

Annie's voice: While doing field work,

Anthropologists have been known to lose themselves

Anthropology? Honey how are you gonna make a living at that?

Any man who made me feel desperate enough

Anyone?

Anyway, enjoy the rest of your lunch before I ruin that too.

Anyway, I want you to give me an opportunity

Anyway, where were we? Ah yes.

Anyway...

Anywhere you like.

Are kindred spirits.

Are people in your home,

Are you gonna use this job as an excuse for everything or what?

Are you suggesting I attend it alone?

Are you? Are you gonna take over the world?

Are... are...

Area of interest...

Arriving on track two.

As I was saying, Nanny,

As if you know anything about my life.

As if you know anything about the real world.

As it relates to your intended field.

As you can see, my husband and I

ASAP.

Ask your wife. She's the one who requested I come.

Asshole is a pretty strong word.

At all times...

At least I'd finally get to live in Manhattan.

At Mr. X's office.

Ay... (muttering in Spanish)

Be my guest.

Be young with me in the Hamptons.

Because I cannot take the additional pressure.

Because I have something for you.

Because I thought I could give my boy and my sick mother a better life.

Because the party planner I wanted wasn't available.

Because your future looks pretty fucking bleak.

Been waiting for you right up in the car there, sport.

Been waiting for you right up in the car there, sport.

Before my Parents' Society meeting,

Before we head over to the Carlyle,

Before you take the rest of the day off:

Besides, the money is great.

Bien, merci.

Big problem.

Boasts a wide variety of customs and mores.

Bonjour.

Buenas noches.

But afterwards he's taking me

But all she has to do is ask.

But before I officially surrendered to fate,

But everybody else was participating.

But for the women of the Upper East Side,

But here's an idea... why don't you try eating dinner with your child

But I desperately need to sleep in.

But I didn't really know who I was, where I fit in,

But I feel I need to remind you that tomorrow is Grayer's birthday.

But I feel really bad for her also.

But I just wanted to let you know that...

But I promise, we're gonna have a lot of fun together, honestly.

But I think he's got the croup.

But I wanted to buy you your first business suit.

But I was really hired to watch her.

But I'm attending a 2:00 lecture at the Parents' Society:

But I'm trying to squeeze in a little shopping

But it is your life.

But it was like one of those awful dreams

But l... I was supposed to have the evening off.

But Mommy pays you money and I love you.

But neither helpful nor productive.

But perhaps the most bizarre social patterns

But rather the unraveling of one such nanny.

But she left you a note on the table.

But she should have seen it coming... everyone else did.

But that's just my prep school upbringing.

But the Bairds did and Darwin got in.

But the kitchen is now closed. So...

But the truth is, I can only stay for a few days.

But what if this vacation can save their marriage?

But you probably don't recognize my face,

But you really... you can't do that sort of thing

But... but be comfortable.

By the way, my name's... (beeps)

By using the western staircase.

Bye.

Bye.

Call me when this phase of your life is over.

Can be found within the small island community of Manhattan.

Can I come in?

Can I have a nanny volunteer?

Can we at least try to have a good time?

Can you look after the kids for a minute?

Can you share with the group one particular grievance

Catching the Yankees game with my dad tonight.

Certainly wasn't easy.

Chose you? (clicks tongue)

Cigar smoking, type A pigs

Clearly this isn't working out.

Clearly, the woman's heinous.

Come here.

Come on in.

Come on inside. Let me show you.

Come on, Annie. This place,

Come on, answer me. You gonna take over the world?

Come on, don't be shy.

Come on, if your job is that bad, why don't you just quit?

Come on, one date. That's all I'm asking here.

Come on, say yes.

Come on.

Come on. The other trainees, you know,

Concentrate? You have got to be kidding me.

Conflict resolved.

Cool. What are they?

Daddy, come see my dinosaur!

Daddy, Daddy, where's my puppy?

Daddy's just tired.

Darling, I do everything. My job is a type C.

Daydreaming in the park that day,

Definitely.

Describe your work experience

Did Grayer get you this?

Didn't grow up with the staff doing everything for me,

Do a little soul searching.

Do not interrupt me.

Do you belong to anyone, little man?

Do you read to the child from "The Wall Street Journal"?

Do you think I'm crazy?

Do you think you could manage a quick shop for me?

Doll: I love you.

Don't be afraid. They're only clowns.

Don't go to Nantucket with the weirdoes.

Don't know if you remember,

Don't miss out on getting to know him.

Don't you just love Annie's new place?

Don't you think that's long enough?

Don't. Grayer, don't... don't!

Donald Trump lives in my building.

Downstairs with Manuel to store.

Dumbass.

During this period

Eat it. Go on.

Especially first names.

Et vous?

Even so, I fell asleep confident

Even so, the things you said on that tape haunt me every day.

Even though I don't have a job,

Even though I have told her time and time again that we're agnostic.

Ever.

Every day and every night."

Every once in a blue moon?

Every overtime hour I accepted,

Everybody else doesn't pull down what I do every year.

Everything I knew about nannying came from the movies.

Ew.

Except thank you...

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Figured I could get to you before she could.

Find a way to keep the boy quiet.

Fondue? Go get my dress.

For a more formal affair with friends.

For a romantic anniversary.

For Grayer's Collegiate application.

For promiscuous behavior with a boy in the building.

For the purpose of this case study,

For the purpose of this case study,

For the purpose of this field diary,

For those considering my application to graduate school.

For us to go have lunch.

For women who work all day and parent at night.

For you to just... for you to look at them.

For your own good,

French? Holy merde.

Friends of ours have a horse farm in Upper Saddle River.

Frosting fun! Yay!

Get moving or you're gonna be late.

Get ready, ladies. Here they come.

Go ahead, puppy, do your business.

Go on, sweetheart.

Go on.

God!

God.

God. Did you call his mother?

Going to a spa when your son has a fever of 104

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Good puppy!

Gosh, come on. It's one meeting at Goldman Sachs.

Grayer and his playmates are never allowed

Grayer has a temperature of 104

Grayer is never allowed to nap during the day.

Grayer is not an accessory.

Grayer just had to use the bathroom.

Grayer loves you.

Grayer still must be in a stroller

Grayer, get up off the floor. It's very dirty.

Grayer, go to your mommy.

Grayer, hurry up. Your mom's coming.

Grayer, I am not kidding. Open this door right now.

Grayer, I think you should take a nap.

Grayer, no nudity. Please.

Grayer, stop it.

Grayer: Clowns are supposed to be funny.

Grayer: Help, police! She's hurting me!

Grayer: I saw another one.

Grayer: I want to come here every day.

Grayer: I'm taking off all my clothes.

Grayer: Nanny, can we go upstairs?

Grayer: Nanny?

Grayer: Stop it!

Grayer: We're going to 'Tucket. We're going to 'Tucket.

Grayer: You're in trouble!

Grayer!

Grayer! Come here!

Grayer?

Grayer? Grayer?

Grayer.

Grayer.

Grayer's been very very very sick.

Grill fresh fish.

Grove, come on. What is wrong? Why won't you shake your booty?

Grove?

Grover, I love Grover.

Grover, just eat it.

Grover.

Growing up on Fifth Avenue. You went to Harvard.

Guess that makes sense.

Guess what else? I'm getting a puppy.

Guys like Harvard Hottie only slum it when they're in college.

Had two new men in her life.

Half a tablespoon of tarragon.

Hang up because the pacemaker isn't on.

Happened with a teddy bear.

Harlem?

Harvard Hottie: Hey, Annie, it's me,

Harvard Hottie: I'm not in right now. Leave it at the beep.

Has something to do with that boy in the building.

Have a blast.

Have plenty of time to participate

Have plenty of time to participate

He called several times this week.

He called? Why didn't you tell me?

He didn't visit Grandma last night

He doesn't care what you're wearing or what you buy him

He is... he's truly

He just... he just wants you there.

He plays with my wee monster, Darwin.

He really is a wonderful child, isn't he?

He wants to take us all to Nantucket next week.

He will demand extra time from you this week...

He...

He...

He's a little out of your league, don't you think?

He's great.

He's not complaining about anything.

He's okay now.

He's the best.

He's... he's fine.

He's... he's such a sweet...

Hello there.

Hello, Grayer. Remember me?

Hello?

Here's your final payment.

Hey, Grayer, don't... don't be sad. It's okay.

Hey, Grayer, it's your pal from upstairs.

Hey, Grover, I think the bathroom's the other way.

Hey, guys.

Hey, little man, you remember me?

Hey, Lynette, it's Annie. Listen, I need your help.

Hey, Ma, um...

Hey, that's pretty good, Grove.

Hey, would you be a sport and unlock the door?

Hey, you know what the biggest word in America is?

Hey.

Hey.

Hi, Grandma.

Hi, I'm Mrs. X.

Hi, ladies.

Hi, y'all.

Hi. Are you okay?

Hi. Two please.

High honors in business, minor in anthropology.

His acceptance is a top priority.

His father wants him to attend Collegiate

His fever's down.

His flight was canceled.

His mother didn't order him from a catalogue.

Hm.

Hmm, tired.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Home sweet home. First mission accomplished.

Honey, come here. You okay?

How about Sponge Bob?

How about this?

How is everything?

How is Grayer doing?

How's the job? How's the apartment?

Huh uh. No.

Human beings who are drowning in their desire

I am so screwed.

I am type C,

I am...

I bought this for my mother when I was 10.

I came to the conclusion that the only right thing to do

I can't be.

I can't believe this. I could get used to this.

I can't guarantee that the meat here

I can't leave Grayer.

I can't tolerate the yapping. Grayer's too young anyway.

I can't, all right? I tried.

I can't.

I certainly hope so.

I could call for advice, or a nurse even?

I did it because I wanted something better for you than I had.

I do. I feel... I feel kinda lucky.

I don't care how much it costs.

I don't get it.

I don't get some decent shut eye tonight,

I don't know what's gotten into her lately.

I don't know your name. I'm sorry.

I don't know, Mom. I just...

I don't know, you know, I just... I would love to quit.

I don't mean to be laughing.

I don't mean to rush you,

I don't mean...

I don't think right now is the time.

I don't think that having money makes it any easier.

I don't understand why you can't just live at the house for a while,

I don't want to lose the reservation.

I don't want to read this.

I expect you to have all your things

I finally get to move to the city.

I finally got to know Annie.

I finally had to fire her

I focused on finding a way into Grayer's.

I forgot to mention his name is Hayden.

I found them in the stairwell.

I guess I'm officially an asshole.

I had a really late night. But about tonight...

I had my family there and I was present and accounted for.

I hate coquilles dry. I want sushi.

I hate them and I hate my birthday.

I have a hard time imagining you in Harlem.

I have a life too, in case you haven't noticed.

I have a very good feeling about this.

I have a very long afternoon today

I have attached a list of basic house rules.

I have never lied to you.

I have to admire this corporate drag. Wow.

I have to go.

I hope this field diary has been illuminating

I imagine your unacceptable behavior

I just called the airport.

I just don't seem to have enough time for myself.

I just wanted your mother to be here for the news.

I just...

I just... I just, I got... I had to get away.

I know him from work.

I know that you work hard. I just think

I know where you live, so I'll camp out at your door if I have to.

I know you want Bertie. Bertie had to leave to get married

I know you're really busy tonight,

I know.

I left three messages and she won't call me back.

I love it. Hey, should I whip up a fondue for Mom?

I love you best.

I love you too, Grove.

I love you.

I mean, am I supposed to have this lying around the apartment till the benefit?

I mean, even the ice cream is made out of tofu.

I mean, I know it's a little much for dinner,

I mean, if you end up with us, I mean.

I mean, it's not like you're on a career path here.

I mean, should I take him to the emergency room or something?

I mean, the job is a dream.

I met Mr. X.

I met this guy who likes the same exact...

I moved here and started running the Gagosian.

I need five rolls of fabric overnighted from London.

I need you to find my wife and explain to her

I need you to get ready for the Nanny Conflict Resolution Seminar

I need you to stop at Tiffany's and pick up Mr. X's watch.

I obviously owe you a major apology.

I only had to trek across the Hudson River

I pretend to be Jefferson's nanny.

I really would, but l...

I saw you in that Betsy Ross getup.

I secretly hoped those critics...

I show up with my mom, I'll just look like a big dork.

I simply couldn't resist.

I still think I turned out to be a pretty decent guy

I suppose I forgot.

I swear, all these people eat is bean curd and seltzer.

I think I saved it out of spite.

I think it's "La."

I think it's time to address the reason for this seminar:

I think this belongs to Grayer.

I thought it would be a kind of fun and easy job.

I thought that was my room.

I thought this job was supposed to be

I told you, I can't date on the job.

I told you, this is not a lifelong commitment.

I took some time to make sense

I totally forgot it was this evening.

I used to date her too.

I want my mommy.

I was confused.

I was just...

I was raised by nine different nannies

I was suddenly terrified I'd never find the answer.

I was supposed to be here two or three years tops.

I wasn't born yesterday.

I went to Smith. And don't believe the rumors,

I will see you in the morning.

I wish my ancestors made totem poles.

I wish we could stay in 'Tucket forever,

I work with your daddy in the Chicago office.

I would feel a lot better if I could at least see where you were living.

I would give the world to be sitting where you're sitting right now.

I would have gone with jerk or bonehead.

I would like you to know why Mr. X is so upset.

I would make it meatloaf. I'm gonna borrow this.

I... I hear it's really nice there.

I... I just don't understand how someone can have everything

I... I know that I agreed to let you

I... I sing to him in French.

I... I think it's better if we talk alone.

I... I won't.

I'd appreciate it.

I'll be at the spa at Canyon Ranch in Lenox.

I'll be back, okay?

I'll call you later this week, sweetheart.

I'll call you when I get there, okay?

I'll get out of your... I'll wait in the hall.

I'll give you "Nannies Gone Wild."

I'll just have the burger.

I'll probably come up with a million excuses

I'll ride the elevator till I find you.

I'll take you there sometime.

I'll tell you about the dads.

I'll tell you what though... it doesn't touch the Jersey Shore.

I'll try to squeeze that in between cleaning up Grayer's vomit

I'll... I'll never ask you again.

I'm certainly ready for one.

I'm exhausted and Mr. X is expected sometime before 9:00.

I'm getting in the car.

I'm gonna go to my father's house in Southampton for a month.

I'm happy to report that Grayer asks for you a little bit less

I'm having another baby.

I'm here, knee deep in...

I'm Judy.

I'm just gonna spend the whole weekend in Chicago.

I'm moving to the city to go to grad school,

I'm not allowed to go on the West Side. That's a rule.

I'm not going anywhere. You know that, right, honey?

I'm not gonna be your nanny forever.

I'm not stupid. You're just gonna let me win.

I'm referred to as "Nanny" by all the people in the Xs' social network.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. It's not funny.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Do you have the time?

I'm sorry... I really think you misunderstood me.

I'm starting to wonder if you're really selfless

I'm telling Mommy. You're in trouble.

I'm the one who's been raising your son.

I'm the only nanny here. I just have to use the restroom.

I'm the Xs' new nanny.

I've got a merger I'm working on.

I've got to take some time, figure out if law school is really right for me.

I've probably gotta get going soon actually.

If by chance my report stereotypes or geographically profiles,

If for no other reason than you having

If I come back!

If I quit now, I'll ruin it

If I'd known it would go this far, I would have just turned a blind eye.

If school is ever canceled,

If you wanted to call,

Improving nanny mom communication.

In case you're wondering, your friend Lynette

In contemporary France,

In many Bedouin tribes,

In many Bedouin tribes,

In order to truly understand your own.

In Provence.

In short, I was the Chanel bag of nannies.

In spite of it all.

In the many times that I thought of Grayer,

In the very society that they're studying,

In your own words, who exactly is Annie Braddock?

Intervened.

Into a security blanket?

Is from a family of enormous herbivores."

Is it "Le Grande Nuit" or "La Grande..."

Is not a typical tribal ritual,

Is so competitive.

Is that caffeinated?

Is that everybody brings their nanny.

Is that so hard for you to understand?

Is there anything at all I can do?

Is unfortunately not Annie Braddock.

Is unfortunately not Annie Braddock.

Is... is there anything I can do?

Isn't it good?

It became quite obvious

It belongs to my daddy! I hate you. I want Bertie.

It can be very hard on me.

It can lead through a minefield.

It certainly has been for me.

It couldn't possibly end well.

It is my house.

It is not mine, it is not Mr. X's,

It is yoga hour and Mommy's on the phone.

It is... it's going pretty good actually.

It means, can you stop talking about this woman for five minutes please?

It might enhance his study of the language. So tomorrow night,

It probably slipped your mind that costumes are required,

It seemed my future was finally set.

It seems that Grayer was rejected for admission to Collegiate.

It takes just one person...

It was a habit that was pretty hard to break.

It was in our laundry.

It was too bright, Ma. All right?

It wasn't exactly a trick question.

It would be nice to have a night off, I guess.

It'll go better with this neckline.

It's a much tougher game out there for women.

It's a shame she's not here.

It's a terrible dress.

It's all in the name of freedom.

It's all right, just let it play out. We'll get to something good.

It's Annie. I haven't heard from you in a while.

It's Annie. I haven't heard from you in a while.

It's been several months since we've spoken.

It's called denial. Okay, like the river.

It's extremely important not to be late.

It's from your former employer.

It's hanging.

It's highly competitive. I'm probably never gonna get the job.

It's just that no place around here stays open this late. That's all.

It's my mom.

It's not bad.

It's not gumbo. It's Creole bouillabaisse.

It's not nice to lock people out.

It's okay, don't be. At least I'm fully dressed this time.

It's okay, don't be. At least I'm fully dressed this time.

It's okay.

It's only 9:00. You clearly wanted the evening off.

It's really good. (laughs)

It's the meeting of preliminary investment schedules.

It's work. I'll take that.

It's your life.

It's... it's just that when Mr. X is in the middle of a big deal,

Judy.

Just close the door.

Just give me a hug.

Just in case. It is 508...

Just leave that there.

Just leave the keys with the doorman.

Just remember, Grove, that money can't buy love.

Just to get on your feet.

Just... just file against this wall. Just squeeze in.

Keep 10 bucks for yourself, all right?

L... I don't know how to...

La la la la la la!

Leave it there.

Leaving their women to hunt, gather

Let go. I have to make a doodie.

Let me apologize for my feral son.

Let me get your backpack.

Let me just call you after this play date, okay?

Let me know the minute I can visit you.

Let's get out of here.

Let's just call him Harvard Hottie.

Let's just say that you missed a fabulous throw down

Let's pretend that we're in a cave.

Let's watch.

Like Mommy, you know?

Like when we met in Central Park?

Linda, Gillian, would you mind monitoring the children

Linda: Nannies, we're ready.

Listen, I'm losing cell service here.

Listen, if you change your mind, my offer stands.

Look at these guys over there.

Look, here... here is my card.

Look, I'll call you later, okay?

Look, I'm sorry that I didn't call last night, okay?

Look, if you really want to run around in grass skirts,

Low in sugar isn't the same as sugar free.

Lt's gonna be a hot one.

Lynette, I have to call you back.

Lynette: Annie, will you tell me what the hell is going on?

Lynette: I'm telling you, like the bees,

Machine: You have two new messages.

Make it snappy, dear. I'm on the last chapter.

Make sure you put that one on top.

Making calls. Where's the chow?

Man on P. A: Master in economics, minor in communications.

Man: Spazz!

Man: Where's my little munchkin?

Manuel is making you your own set of keys.

Married? She had one date and she get fired.

Mattered little to the matriarchs of the Upper East Side.

Maybe I'm... maybe I'm not CFO material, you know?

Maybe you should have a secret name too?

Maybe you're asking the same about me.

Me too.