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Home > Father Ted Soundboard
Brennan crilley
Brennan Don't call me Len you little prick
Brennan He did kick me up the arse
Brennan If you ever try to bullshit me like that again, I will rip off your arms
Brennan Oh bollocks
Brennan This is a new one
Brennan You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks!
Dougal A shower of bastards
Dougal And it's got four ears. Two of them are for listening, and the other two are kind of backup ears
Dougal biggesteejit
Dougal carefulnow
Dougal catholicthing
Dougal clinteastwood
Dougal fatherfluffybottom
Dougal fearofstamps
Dougal frosties
Dougal godknowsidoflipallaroundhere
Dougal haywereonaplane
Dougal heyyouwhosgonnadelivermilk
Dougal howsyourbra
Dougal idloveapoptart
Dougal ifiwasasheep
Dougal ifyouareasolicitor
Dougal illmakethetea
Dougal imgoingmad
Dougal Instead of a mouth, it's got four arses
Dougal itlightsupatnight
Dougal ivebeendrinking
Dougal kurtcobain
Dougal magnetsonitstail
Dougal milkmanforawhile
Dougal mistakejackforabigmadcat
Dougal optitions
Dougal phantomoftheopera
Dougal pretendingtobejack
Dougal priestsocks
Dougal scaryoutthere
Dougal septic
Dougal sickpeopleendupinhospitals
Dougal spiderbaby
Dougal tedsaysyouweretouchinghim
Dougal thatllbefantastic
Dougal thebeast
Dougal thefly
Dougal thereissomethingwecando
Dougal thosewomenwereinthenip
Dougal twopints
Dougal verydarkblue
Dougal yabigbollox
Dougal yabiggobshite
Eoin I smell wee
Eoin I've no willy
Eoin smellsofwee
Eoin youleavemealone
Father Ted
General beechingbiscuitnocake
General beechingbiscuitorcake
General beechinggodilovesayingmass
General beechingsayinganothermass
General dickbyrnenoooo
General fatherfay
General fathertedtheme
General frankfupoff
General frankfupoffpedrophile
General frankgetthefupoff
General frankwhatthefup
General fuckinghell
General ihearyou'rearacistnowfather
General irlandaisnilpoints
General mylovelyhorserealtheme
General mylovelyhorsetheme
General priestchatbacktheme
General stackyedirtyfecker
General stickytape
General thespinmastertheme
General uht
Jack A pair of fecking women's knickers
Jack arethosemyfeet
Jack arse
Jack arsebiscuits
Jack award
Jack chair
Jack curtains
Jack drink
Jack drinkohyes
Jack drivethecar
Jack feck
Jack feckoffcup
Jack fedupwithbrick
Jack floor
Jack getonthetelevision
Jack girls
Jack Gobshite!
Jack gobshiteneverofftheair
Jack hairyjapanesebastards
Jack helpme
Jack heyyou
Jack I'm so, so, sorry
Jack ilikecake
Jack ilovemybrick
Jack imahappycamper
Jack iremember
Jack jacobscreek
Jack morewater
Jack nudiefatherjack
Jack Nuns. Aaaaargh
Jack photo
Jack sacrifice
Jack shutup
Jack stillonthatisland
Jack thankchrist
Jack That would be an ecumenical matter
Jack water
Jack What?
Jack woman
Jack yes
Jessup apologieimmediately
Jessup deargodthesmell
Jessup givethatback
Jessup helockedmeinhere
Jessup helpme
Jessup imreallyenjoyingthis
Jessup imupinspace
Jessup iwanttogetout
Jessup jumpedthroughthewindow
Jessup ofcourseimuncomfortable
Jessup ratherdieofthirst
Jessup sleepoutsideintheditch
Jessup wewentroundbysouthernyemen
Johnandmary fatbitch
Johnandmary fatsmellycow
Johnandmary getcrunchiesoutofthecar
Johnandmary ignorantprick
Johnandmary illstickthisupyourarse
Johnandmary pairoftits
Mrsdoyle aloadofmenfilms
Mrsdoyle aloadofmenkickingleather
Mrsdoyle aloadofmenrollercoasters
Mrsdoyle aloadofmensailing
Mrsdoyle aloadofmenshouting
Mrsdoyle bastard
Mrsdoyle fartherhiroshimatwikey
Mrsdoyle fatherchewielouie
Mrsdoyle fatherjacksunderpantshamper
Mrsdoyle fatherpeeweestairmaster
Mrsdoyle fatherspodocomodo
Mrsdoyle fingpitchfork
Mrsdoyle goodmentalpicture
Mrsdoyle goon
Mrsdoyle kickupthearse
Mrsdoyle ladinhishand
Mrsdoyle laugh
Mrsdoyle massivetool
Mrsdoyle maybeilikethemisery
Mrsdoyle noclues
Mrsdoyle obsessedwithsex
Mrsdoyle ourlordpauseforacupoftea
Mrsdoyle readytodothebusiness
Mrsdoyle ridemesideways
Mrsdoyle stoleherpen
Mrsdoyle thebadfword
Mrsdoyle therescocaineinit
Mrsdoyle walltowallbastards
Mrsdoyle whosfortea
Mrsdoyle yebighariyarse
Noel bohemienrapsody
Noel getoffmeimnotdeadyet
Noel heresmeeatingtony
Noel illgofirst
Noel listofenemies
Noel lovelyvoice
Noel riverdance
Noel ted
Noel tonylynch
Noel verysmallbladder
Noel whocanscreechtheloudest
Noel you'reinforitnowtony
Patmustard artificialcontraception
Patmustard averycarefulman
Patmustard forgotmefeckintrousers
Patmustard getupveryearlytocatchme
Patmustard marylinmonroe
Patmustard nicepintsforya
Patmustard offonmyrounds
Patmustard onmywaypadre
Patmustard plentymore
Patmustard policeafterme
Patmustard ridemrsorielly
Patmustard shediedfromexhaustion
Patmustard sogeorgous
Patmustard spreadmeselfaround
Patmustard theme
Patmustard verycarefulman
Patmustard yankmeselfoff
Purcell allformsofinsulation
Purcell hesaid
Purcell humming
Purcell I have an extension on my extension, so the house is in a circle now
Purcell iknewawomanonce
Purcell myfavouritecolour
Purcell pieceofadvice
Purcell thethingtherelastyear
Purcell theyhavenomorals
Purcell wegotanewboiler
Purcell werunthegasofftheelectricity
Purcell whatsyourfavouritehummingnoise
Purcell youcanbuythemdownintheshop
Ted alpacinoway
Ted chewthroughthat
Ted comondivorcereferendum
Ted Dougal how did you get into the Church? Was it like collect 12 crisp packets and become a Priest?
Ted downwiththissortofthing
Ted dreamysleepynightysnooziesnooze
Ted fathertedcrillyspeaking
Ted hairybabymaker
Ted hurryupman