Ricky Bobby Soundboard Edit

Absolutely ma'am i'd love to sign your baby you're not gonna wanna wash that forehead you hear me

All those races I won that was for you you know that I did just like you told me if you ain't first you're last

Christmas is right around the corner and what better gift to give a loved one than the jackhawk 9000 available at wal mart

Dear 8 pound 6 ounce newborn infant jesus don't even know a word yet just a little infant and so cuddly but still omnipotent

Dear lord baby jesus or as our brothers to the south call you jesus we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of domino's kfc and the always delicious taco bell

Dear tiny jesus in your golden fleece diapers with your tiny little fat balled up fists

Did you eat peanut butter or something you sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth

Dont You Put That on Me Ricky Bobby

Everyone turn away things are gonna get crazy we're gonna make animal noises

Hell you're just a bag of bones

Help me jesus! help me ******* god!

I appreciate it guys just trying to help out even though it was weird and perverse

I hope that both of you have sons handsome beautiful articulate sons who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away!

I love the way they're talking to you 'cause they're winners winners get to do what they want

I really regret opening my mouth and talking to you

I'm not gonna lie to you, it felt good #feel good #content #feels #enjoy #pleased #happy #satisfied

I'm not stupid no one lives forever no one but with advances in modern science and my high level of income I mean it's not crazy to think I can't live to be 245 maybe 300

I'm not sure what to do with my hands be good to hold them down by your side

If you ain't first you're last (2)

Ninety eight percent of us will die at some point in our lives the darkness is creeping towards you whether you know it or not so a little planning can go a long way

Not sure what to do with my hands #talladega nights #interview #nervous #posture #composure #public speaking #presentation

Now I suggest you and your wife mrs jim beam you guys go take a chill pill

Only thing you ever done with your life is make a hot daughter that's it that is it!

Red Hot Smoking Wife Stone Cold Fox #prayer #spouse #hot wife #thankful

Ricky bobby

Ricky bobby shake and bale

Ricky first of all where did you learn to drive like that in a car car handle really good yeah

Ricky.Bobby.I.want.a.divorce

Susan i've never heard you talk like that are we about to get it on because i'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now

That idea ain't worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin getting it on

The ninjas are trying to get me the ninjas are trying to get me

The room's starting to spin real fast because of gayness

We just have so much to be thankful for first off my sons no longer act like retarded gangbangers amen

We just want to take a moment to talk to you about snow blindness in cats it's affecting more and more cats every year and it scares the living shit out of us

Well here's the deal i'm the best there is plain and simple I mean I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence

Well I like the christmas jesus best and i'm saying grace when you say grace say it to grownup jesus teenage jesus bearded jesus whoever you want

Well let me just quote the late great colonel sanders who said i'm too drunk to taste this chicken

Well you gotta listen to me here okay you gotta win to get love everyone knows that I mean that's just life

What are you talking about I lived my whole life based on that well now what the hell am I supposed to do

What's diablo mean it's like you know it's like spanish for like a fighting chicken

What's the highlander it's a movie very good it won the academy award for best movie ever made

When I get to work

When you work on your mysterious lady part stuff you should have the right tools too so that's why you should use maypax the official tampon of nascar

Who if you were to rate her ass on 100 it would easily be a 94

With all due respect I had no idea you got an experimental surgery to have your balls removed

Yeah but okay but if you won how am I gonna win think about it

You gotta watch it when I get into autograph mode