It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Season 4 Edit

A bunch of bowlings, kick me out. So I waited to this time of the day,

A bunch of hamsters on a wheel.

A car and, uh, annihilate any traces of a human being.

A couple last minute things.

A few weeks ago, they came to apologize for getting me arrested.

A giant check made out of our cash, and we've got to get that back.

A glory hole?

A look is going to be a big part of this. I'm going to get some disguises.

A lot of people are bugging their babies these days.

A man can wear a woman's shoe.

A nice port,

A pair of poofs about town.

A poop that can be traced back to Dee!

A producer, get some kind of a TV development deal.

A pumpkin off his head, and of course I did, so here we are.

A quick jog in Fairmont Park by myself.

A secret portal created as a passage way

A sexually active person should have a rash.

A simple no would have sufficed.

A symbol of my vote and love for this competion.

A terrible thing to do...

A top of the morning to both of you!

A turd merger...

A viral video? There's about a billion of those on YouTube. Who gives a shit?

A, uh, Perfect Strangers type of deal.

About this whole tie up and hold you here thing.

About three days ago, a couple of pink slips came in the mail.

About you guys being able to get in touch with Jon Bon Jovi.

Absolutely great idea. Bring the neighbors in.

Absolutely not. Why would you want to be naked?

Absolutely, bro. I will find this guy and I will kick his ass.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. I feel good, too.

Absolutely. Jesus had, like, the best abs. He had the right idea.

Accidents happen, right?

According to the Philadelphia Police Department,

Actually, I'm just gonna stick around.

Actually, make mine a water.

Actually, maybe Frank has a point, dude.

Actually, no. He had some pretty sweet moves, but I totally...

Actually, that is why we're here. Uh, we drew up this declaration.

Actually, we're here because we want to get our bar certified as a historic landmark.

Actually, yeah.

Addressed to me so I buy myself a couple more days.

Admit it, come on!

Admit it, dude. You totally cried.

After the rain

Ah, hello to you, sirs, and to you, ladies.

Ah, Jesus Christ, that guy's not even wearing a mask.

Ah, Jesus, what are we doing here, man?

Ah, my van.

Ah, very nice rod. Go with that rod.

Ah, well, Colonel, we are the owners of the fine

Ah... yeah, actually I wanted to talk to you about that aspect of it.

Aho.

Ain't no Jesus here... except

All I could scrounge up was a bandana

All I know is we need to find insurance ASAP.

All it got me was a stab wound in the leg

All over their nice furniture? I mean, that doesn't make sense.

All right

All right now, let's think.

All right, a glass of white wine, maybe a chardonnay.

All right, admit it, that Muslim guy was gonna rub me out,

All right, all right. Just let me go to the bathroom.

All right, and what is the reason you're requesting a loan today?

All right, aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye!

All right, barrel number six is done, dudes.

All right, buddy, good luck!

All right, buddy, now explain to me how exactly we're going to

All right, but back up, 'cause I don't want the glass to shatter at your face.

All right, come on.

All right, could you give me a second with... with the talent here?

All right, Dee, I'll tell you what, here's the plan.

All right, Dennis.

All right, dude, new plan.

All right, everybody. Before we begin today,

All right, fine, but one other thing.

All right, fine.

All right, give me his hands.

All right, guys, I think it's time we cut our losses and go back

All right, guys!

All right, hey, it's time to move on.

All right, how about this?

All right, I got to get this.

All right, I swear to God I'm gonna leave you alone.

All right, I'll tell you what.

All right, I'll tell you what. We'll get back to the bar.

All right, I'm going to gun this car as fast as it goes

All right, I'm gonna be the only one wearing the belt?

All right, I'm gonna get back to my office, and then...

All right, I'm into that.

All right, judges' side bar.

All right, just go ahead and sign right there, and we're all set.

All right, let me ask you a question, then.

All right, let me just stop you right there.

All right, let's do it.

All right, let's do this.

All right, let's get back to business here.

All right, let's get out of here.

All right, let's go talk to Corman.

All right, listen, bro. I need you to do me a favor.

All right, look.

All right, Luther, today's the day.

All right, man.

All right, now, excuse me.

All right, now, keep it down because I'm a very light sleeper.

All right, now, let's stop talking and start banging.

All right, perfect. Can't go back on it.

All right, plan B.

All right, screw this shit. If no one likes the song, I'm going to cut the song.

All right, so I start marching my way down to Carol in HR,

All right, that's cool. That's cool, I guess.

All right, that's crazy. That's like, that's insane.

All right, then, gentlemen, I got a new plan.

All right, this guy did, so there you go.

All right, this is Felix's pile.

All right, this is messy.

All right, well, good luck to you on that.

All right, well, I think I should get it.

All right, well, I'm pretty sure I was sleeping like this that night.

All right, well, just let me do the talking.

All right, well, let's do some cardio since we're here.

All right, well, let's not have him ask more questions.

All right, well, methinks the rod to be the most suitable for our purposes.

All right, well, now we're getting somewhere.

All right, well, thank you for coming in.

All right, well, then, just breathe for me. Feel what I'm doing.

All right, well, this is not the '70s. You're going to do theater with your clothes on, please.

All right, well, you don't seem like...

All right, what do you suggest?

All right, whatever.

All right, whatever. Thank you.

All right, where are all my male models?

All right, who the hell's this character you're doing?

All right, you do the wrecking ball thing... Check this out.

All right, you got the store card now

All right, you know what, let's just...

All right, you know what? Let's just do it again,

All right, you see that?

All right! The three...

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Don't embarrass yourself.

All right. Geez, relax.

All right. Later, dudes!

All right. Well, leave the pumpkin out of it.

All rightie, then. See you soon. Bye bye.

All that stuff if you see the musical. That's how much this means to me.

All this bomb making shit and they'll arrest his money stealing ass.

Also inconclusive.

Am I peeing?

Americans are so uptight.

And a good natured lady.

And a new life just like on Extreme Makeover on TV.

And also, I'm not making out with Dennis later.

And as such, the honor has been bestowed upon all of you

And blend in with British culture, we need to walk the walk

And Bruce and me and help.

And buy some gasoline to burn the car.

And by the way,

And can we finish this rehearsal?

And Charlie did it.

And Charlie, and so they both pooped.

And check out his cane.

And come back, and pissed in the fountain.

And come back, and pissed in the fountain.

And cut them out with this.

And Dee carried it unknowingly until she arrived here and the lights

And do you realize how extreme this is?

And duties that include

And eliminate working out, which we know blows?

And for more than just a billboard.

And forever, and forever...

And Frank is the muscle.

And get him to do an acoustic set on my deathbed.

And get some shut eye. I'm running on fumes.

And good bye, Juarez family.

And good luck with your sick cat.

And have actual problems.

And have never had sex with a child..

And he heard every word.

And he's coming to kill you.

And hear me out on this one. It's a little weird.

And his fancy newspaper talk. It's bullshit!

And how much Sears products save people's lives!

And hunt begins!

And I also held up my end of the bargain, so I never have to see you again.

And I am available to any interested men.

And I am in love with you.

And I count how much gas is going into the car.

And I curse both of you and all of your stupid guns.

And I got a paper trail to prove it.

And I got these cute little brown PJs so that she gets

And I had to drink all the beer.

And I just had a little bit too much ice cream.

And I just ran and sweated for absolutely nothing?

And I knock on her door, and I say,

And I know, Artemis, you did write "soul", right?

And I think that'll come in handy in this situation.

And I walked down the hallway with the bedpan.

And I was explicitly clear: no more Green Man.

And I was going to unleash them on the world in a fiery blaze of eroticism.

And I was, like, "That makes more sense."

And I will burn some other things. You know maybe like these,

And I would like to request a private bedside concert

And I... Mac, why don't you get started on the family makeover with Dee

And I'll take...

And I'll tell you why.

And I'm gonna eat it.

And if you bring this up back at the apartment tonight,

And it gets us into trouble.

And it's about caring and Sears and...

And it's not about your feelings right now, it's about

And it's not wasting a single thing.

And it's the most important muscle in the entire body.

And its ashes buried in an unmarked grave somewhere by the river.

And let's find something to blow up a car.

And like a small brown snail...

And make danger for all of us.

And make sure that Charlie left without a trace.

And malnourished turd.

And massacre the entire lot of rebels.

And maybe the chest area and possibly the groin

And maybe you're underneath me or on top of me, you know, they won't see us.

And Mr. Kelly, in your sworn statement to police, you claim

And my nightmare in that putrid, shithole of a bar, Paddy's Pub,

And never see you two bitches again.

And now I am in love with you.

And now since I'm his next of kin the house belongs to me.

And now two heavy coats? I mean,

And now you're gonna be skittish about the sex party?

And now, I'm going to give them the one gun salute.

And oh, yeah, I'm not gonna go anywhere.

And Paddy's Pub, then known, of course, as Patrick's Pub,

And plus, he just heard everything you just said

And pretty soon, all of the slaves are gonna be free, and I will be owned by no man.

And put you back together

And said he stole a bunch of guns and asked if I wanted to shoot

And see if I can fire off a couple phrases.

And she stabbed me in the leg with the goddamn scissors

And she whispered in my ear,

And smash the window and we'll just pop the trunk.

And so he cleaned up the mess and wandered the streets,

And so raw, so base, so utterly human.

And some beer.

And some cop started harassing me.

And some of the stuff you've been doing with this mannequin here, that's like...

And start murdering people.

And start playing the piano.

And stick it through the hole.

And stop talking about the wedding dress.

And take it away from Charlie and ruin his hopes and dreams.

And take the rubble outside and probably burn that, too.

And that is the way it's gonna go from here.

And that was awful for me.

And that's the shorts.

And that's what I learned.

And that's when you jumped out of the van after I got out!

And that's where he came upon his old friend, Rickety Cricket.

And the EMT says basically I'm like a ticking time bomb

And the gang. And the gang likes to screw it up and make it about themselves

And the most important stuff, that gets delivered, although,

And the will is in place.

And then convincing your friends your family that you're dead.

And then depending on how horrific that looks,

And then did you go crazy? Just looking everything in your apartment,

And then Frank could throw that blanket that he's got right there

And then he couldn't drop the she male thing,

And then he thinks we're dead, and he leaves us alone.

And then I did some good deeds and boom, I'm rich. Mansion rich.

And then I was putting some cheese in the rat traps.

And then I'll fill in the blanks later. Then that way, we'll have a confession,

And then I'll hop up sort of like a cat, like so.

And then I'll put it out with this.

And then in the morning, they'll come out and find him.

And then Rob Thomas, the lead singer of Matchbox 20, was there too.

And then sprinkle it with shaved pubes.

And then we'll come back and work out.

And then when I walk out, I'm gonna put a bunch of metal

And then when I wasn't around, I saw him smashing one.

And then you can collect up the man's cart.

And then you give up the minute we hit the first speed bump.

And then you stopped, right?

And then you wake me up, and then we'll switch it off.

And then you went and did it again the next night?

And then you're going to eat my butt until your stomach is full of butt.

And then, they trick the viewers into buying shit.

And then, uh, we're gonna build them a new house

And then, we'll throw a couple layers of paint up,

And there's a lot of hay and there's some chickens and ducks.

And they didn't even ask me to be part of it.

And they took my goddamn tool belt.

And this is Sinbad's house, and you my bitch!

And this is what the gas prices will be.

And this time, maybe add a few less lies.

And those are pretty regular in my life,

And three.

And unfortunately, it's no longer legit.

And we can do that, do some bonding, go over the best friend

And we cross reference the samples?

And we get a little more serious about this whole murder thing.

And we recreate them.

And we roll him up in it.

And we thought maybe if he saw or he's near to hot plate one more time...

And we'll be healthy as all hell.

And we're dead to the world.

And we've got to prove it.

And what are those?

And what I can do is thrust this way, and you can struggle.

And when he breaks your heart, I'll be here to pick up the pieces

And when I open the door, what do I find?

And while I admit it would be awesome to be hobos,

And who aren't obsessed with poop.

And why are our costumes so much more elaborate than everybody

And yes my friends, in a way, you're all guilty.

And you know what, Charlie? You shouldn't be making these decisions anyway, okay?

And you know what's going to do that, learning the song, the way it's written.

And you know why?

And you let me watch.

And you never woke up in a rehab facility with the wounds of Christ

And you think that was bad.

And you want him to think that you're going to take a dump or...?

And you will never, ever be on that billboard.

And you, you shouldn't be drinking in a shoe store.

And you'd better hope that you don't have any food in your stomach.

And you'll die in five to ten minutes,

And you're going to see what it's like to live in the real world

And you're hiding up on the roof

And you're not getting any high ride.

And you're not gonna call me at 3:00 in the morning and tell me that

And your connections anyway.

And your men in hopes that it will fuel the British to victory.

And, on the bottom, you have a hilarious picture of Green Man

And, then, that way we can slip you in and out with ease.

And, uh, we're going to play a song that was a favorite of theirs.

And, uh, yes, good Colonel, we present this ale to you

And... here comes the pitch.

Angry.

Anonymous sex that we're looking for, right?

Another place,

Any minute now, the German broad is gonna knock on that wall,

Any more?

Any sight of him?

Anything can happen on a runway, Dennis.

Anything goes here.

Anything?

Apocalypto.

Approach.

Are drafting a declaration... a declaration of independence.

Are gonna try and cut a deal with this weasel.

Are safe for the mighty soul...

Are there any physical ailments that I should know about first?

Are you buying this?

Are you crazy?

Are you crazy?

Are you feeling better today?

Are you going to drink the beer?

Are you happy?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? Bro, they definitely do controlled burns

Are you kidding me? Gasoline's, like, a thousand times more expensive than electricity.

Are you kidding me? That is extremely racist.

Are you kidding? You never do this.

Are you okay? Are you dying?

Are you peeing?

Are you still going on about the meat?

Are you still going on and on about being a cooler?

Are you sure we have to do this?

Are you sure you're all right?

Are you sure?

Are you sure? How does that movie end, dude?

Are you there, Blood Brother Two?

Artemis was kind enough to book for us this fine local theater.

Artemus, can you bring in Gladys?

As far as I know, you don't speak Latin.

As much as me? Really?

As part of the walking tour of Philly.

As soon as I left Dennis's place, I realized I don't have a car,

As the brains of this organization, I should've made this decision.

As we possibly can for that Colonel Cricket.

As you can see, the mattresses are stacked three high,

As you can see, the ramp is about 40 feet down there.

At a certain point, I need you to stop telling the Calvin Coolidge story

At a goddamn orgy, Frank?

At last, the boy's soul is mine.

At least give him his mail.

At least, he didn't mention our names.

At Patrick's Pub to speak of war and revolution.

At the last possible second,

At this point 'cause it was just a little one.

Attached at the arms and back and all over my pants.

Attention, ladies, I'm gonna need all the A cups to

Aw, man, I got to tell you, this is awesome.

Awesome! All right, now I'm gonna pretend that I have terminal cancer

Awesome.

Back to the top. Five, six, seven, eight...

Bad ass.

Bag 'em and bring 'em with us. Come on.

Bag yourselves, too, because I want this to be a surprise.

Barney?! Who the hell is Barney?!

Barney. He's the guy who tipped me off to Pepe Silvia.

Baseball.

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

Because Dennis takes them all in at the thighs to accentuate his female form.

Because he always wears it with no shirt and a shitload of cologne.

Because I am honorable man.

Because I cut the brakes! Wild card, bitches!

Because I have 10,000 rats running around my building, Dee, okay?!

Because I work very hard cleaning it.

Because I'm a better smasher than you guys!

Because in the '70s, everybody did theater naked.

Because it's dead meat, and dead meat is bad meat.

Because it's your bar, and we're gonna drink for free.

Because like most comedians, Sinbad is very angry on the inside.

Because our makeover is gonna be so much more extreme than yours.

Because poop is funny.

Because that was Robocop's name.

Because that's like a law.

Because the blanket will make the rapings... I'm sorry,

Because the public loves those crazy celebrity stories and rehab shit.

Because the video alone won't be evidence enough because of the angle.

Because we are not working with our full crew.

Because we were planning on using your construction experience

Because we're bored of shit.

Because when you perform, your nerves make you dry heave,

Because you and I are best friends.

Because you eat rat cheese and cat food and huff glue all day long?

Because you look pretty busted.

Because you're stealing my food.

Because, dude, we need to get as much intel from these guys

Because, every time you're involved, you get all excited about something,

Been creating over the past several years, to put them on tape,

Been having diarrhea?

Been noticing coming in, which I do not appreciate.

Before I head off to Paddy's.

Before us, right now.

Before you do that, why don't you open that window

Before you fall asleep 'cause I don't want you to piss on the couch again.

Before you go sticking anything through that hole,

Before you start accusing us of becoming cannibals or sharks or whatever is you're trying to say,

Before, uh, Mac and Charlie died they made a slideshow

Best friend one, over and out.

Best friends, which is total bullshit because you know

Big deal, look at me.

Big time! But I want to do business

Bite my bird. What are you eating?

Blood Brother One to Blood Brother Two.

Blood Brother One, over and out!

Body bag.

Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie, aww, it's going to be okay.

Boom!

Boom! You got fazed again, Corman.

Both of you are eating wolf?

Both.

Boys... get the tar.

Braininess, and those two are very different things.

Bring 'em to us, you know?

Brings the tribe together.

Bro, can you believe how many hot chicks showed up for a

Bro, half the stories you just read us are total bullshit.

Bro, he's been talking about this modeling thing for years.

Bro, I really..

Bro, I'm not sure I have the right look here

Bro, it's 1776. They don't have any rights.

Bro, like, I say something, and then you, like,

Bro, okay, you know what?

Bro, originally, my plan was to just bang a bunch of models, right?

Bro, that is bad ass.

Bro, they're Americans now. Americans don't hold on to the past.

Bro, you have wasted out time.

Bro... you wore the battery down.

Brought it along.

Bruce is not banging any baby dudes.

Bruce Mathis is about to give away all of Mom's money.

Bruce's, we slip in and we grab him.

Burmington Coat Factory.

But 2008 Dennis is in decline.

But a lot... a lot of times, you got to count that much.

But alas, my love cannot mend our differences.

But at least we managed to avoid arson charges, right?

But Charlie and I had a suicide pact, and I have to honor that

But Charlie overlooked the fact that Dennis listens to Mac's phone calls

But don't come in too early 'cause I got some material

But he didn't realize that a futon slept on by the weight of

But I am not happy about it, lady.

But I did bring some plastic bags.

But I did notice that the kidnapping has rubbed him the wrong way.

But I don't really give a shit either way because

But I feel like that was the look of the times.

But I got to say, I don't care for it.

But I happen to think this bathroom is pristine

But I have a sneaking suspicion it's pretty good.

But I have explained this to you, Dee.

But I need proof if I'm gonna sell him down the river.

But I'm a good boss, and I'm gonna allow you to watch

But I'm not convinced you know what it means.

But I'm not going to let you guys be involved

But I'm thinking there's some strange going on with this meat, such a wish.

But if no one's actually seeing us jump out of the car...

But if we put some hot beefcake up there, maybe it'll attract more chicks.

But it was working until you got in with the bullshit numbers.

But it would be nice if he was involved. Question:

But it's a dangerous game you're playing, Frank.

But it's not the poop.

But most importantly, you banged each other.

But not to her butt.

But now I am a man

But on to the final poop!

But tea bagging doesn't even leave a mark!

But the shorts aren't preventing me from doing what I need to do.

But then the casting director called, and they were, like,

But then this morning, there's another piece of poop in the exact same spot.

But then you brought him back to a place where he's already been,

But then, one day, the book just sort of went mysteriously missing.

But we do need to keep him here for a couple of hours

But we should not be threatening each other with

But we're oil men. We would have Southern accents.

But what function is it gonna serve in the home?

But what I do need is I need the company credit card so that

But when I was making this decision,

But which of you gentlemen happens to be

But why are you eating it?

But why were you guys pretending that you were dead anyway?

But yeah, sure, I'll take some fat burner... why not?

But you can't see through the wall, so how do you know it's not a girl?

But you got such tiny boots on.

But you just said that I taught you about inner beauty and respect.

But you should know that we would have no problem suing you.

But you wouldn't go away.

But you've got to...

But, as so often happens, the poop rolled together and two became one.

But, Frank, here's my problem with that.

But, it's kind of dangerous.

But, nonetheless, it was, I believe, bought as a business expense.

But, that makes you quite formidable, huh?

But, while danger may linger, I'm the levelheaded bouncer that

But, you know what, that's not really what bothers me about this.

But... convinced that Charlie had discovered his dirty little secret,

Buy a pelt here! We have raccoon, we have foxes!

Buying shit? What are you talking about?

By the strong... musky power of true love.

By the way,

By the way, does anyone know why the hell Frank

By the way, there's no reason to be harsh.

Call me a word that I cannot print in this paper".

Calls other people white trash to make himself not feel so faggy".

Calm down! We'll pick the second one.

Can I axe you a question?

Can I bring something up?

Can I bring something up? 'Cause if it don't, it's going to stew up inside me.

Can I stop you for a second?

Can we get down in the middle? Can we get down front?

Can we get going with this, though?

Can we have five now please? Can you have a five over there?

Can we move on to the DNA test, please?

Can we talk about the mail, please, Mac?

Can we wrap this up at some point?

Can you ask your friend to put down that hammer, please?

Can you believe it, dear brother? We're witnessing history in the making.

Can you believe it, sis? They're actually gone.

Can you get Charlie out of the apartment tomorrow?

Can you get out of the way so I can pull the cord?

Can't run from the kindness of strangers.

Cannibalism? Racism, Dee? That's not for us.

Capitalism at work.

Casting call for a billboard? How have we not done this before?

Cause this is a perfect, perfect hiding spot.

Causing the turd to tumble where it stands

Champion of the sun

Champion of the sun

Champion of the sun,

Char... Oh, my God, dude!

Charles, I told you the revolution pays.

Charlie and I are right in the middle of something.

Charlie and I will use that reward money to pay off our electricity bill.

Charlie and the waitress that I need to talk to you about.

Charlie, are you ready with the camera?

Charlie, do I really have to sleep here?

Charlie, fire up that video camera.

Charlie, goddamn it!

Charlie, I'm telling you, running away is not the answer.

Charlie, I've never been more serious about anything in my entire life.

Charlie, if we're gonna smash the window,

Charlie, if we've lost our jobs, that means we've lost

Charlie, now you got to stop.

Charlie, open up.

Charlie, the plan is simple, okay?

Charlie, the thinner the TV, the better the TV.

Charlie, we sleep ass to ass, you know that.

Charlie, what is going on, dude?

Charlie, what is going on?

Charlie, what the hell is this play about?

Charlie, what the hell were you doing with it?

Charlie, yes, we have to do this.

Charlie, you're still going to be the wild card 'cause that fireball you blew was badass.

Charlie?

Charlie... Charlie, listen.

Charlie's number one : my ashes are to be made into a tea and

Check it out, bro.

Check it out, we're gonna put some knives on our fingers

Check it out.

Check it out. Check it out!

Check it out. We got a review in the paper.

Check out this tasty delight.

Check the circuit breaker.

Check this out.

Cheese is funny thing. Cheese is a strange thing.

Chickenshit, I'll walk right up to that thing and shoot.

Chocolate variety.

Circle in, everybody.

Classless bores? I am not a classless bore.

Close friends.

Closer?

Code Red! Code Red, guys!

Colonel Cricket.

Come forward. Come forward.

Come here, man.

Come here, you little rug rat.

Come on, bub, let's go.

Come on, Charlie.

Come on, Charlie.

Come on, dude, I'm trying to network by the water cooler.

Come on, dude, seriously?

Come on, hit me again. Come on.

Come on, man, hit me.

Come on, man, I was just in the middle of some really erotic stuff.

Come on, man, that kills it for me.

Come on, man. Don't bring it down, not right now.

Come on, man. I mean, the guy gets my goat, man.

Come on, man. See, he's twisting everything I say around.

Come on, right this way.

Come on, you don't need to take your shirt off.

Come on, you heard him talking about my thighs when he came in.

Come on! Open the door!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Green Man's what makes this thing work.

Come on. Let's get the hell out of here.

Come on. Rob Thomas and Sinbad,

Come on. That would be stupid.

Come on. You go first.

Come one, Come all to a beautiful show

Come over here and scratch my itchy witchy toesy woesies.

Come play with us forever

Coming in here, talking about how in love with my thighs you are.

Communication is the key, it make sens.

Companies with their ten gallon hats and their rotten, ass plowing hearts.

Compete over you, bing bang boom, soulmate.

Competitions like this aren't about money.

Completely pissing me off recently. I worked so hard on those tapes.

Concrete or brick or something...

Confound your lousy toll, troll

Congratulations! We've got a surprise for you.

Cool.

Corman's not gonna go for that. He's, like, made of stone or something.

Corta, corta!

Could have prevented this entire thing.

Couldn't produce a turd.

Couple pairs of sour sweaty balls.

Craig T. Nelson is the best, dude, but Poltergeist?

Craig T. Nelson.

Crap...

Crap...

Crap...

Crap...

Crashing my car into a building, exploding a grenade inside of it

Creating a safe but still amazingly badass landing zone.

Creating an enjoyable experience for the family... extreme!

Credit card, huh?

Cricket came back and committed fecal forgery.

Cricket with a face full of pubes? Hilarious!

Cricket! Get him.

Cricket. Colonel Cricket.

Cricks, back it up a little bit.

Cut pictures of it out and paste it on a board,

Cute, though, huh?

Damn it, dude, we can't keep doing this all night.

Damn it, dude.

Damn it, dude. I feel like this should be easier!

Damn it, gross, fine, what else?

Damn it.

Damn those Sons of Liberty sons of bitches, Dennis.

Damn, they sell guns here?

Damn.

Dayman

Dayman

Dayman,

Dayman!

Deal with the situation out here.

Deandra, come and help me count my gold.

Deandra, get on that stage.

Deandra, this is wacky.

Deandra! You wanted in on this poop war from the start.

Declined?

Dee and I are gonna kick your ass, okay.

Dee, ah, great. We need to use you as bait for our Cricket.

Dee, if you're going to walk a mile in my shoes,

Dee, Mom gave all of our money to Bruce.

Dee, this guy is great!

Dee, what are you doing to yourself? That is terrible!

Dee, what is this getup? What are you doing now?

Dee, when we said we can't predict the future, how could we

Dee, would you calm down? You're eating that cheese steak like a some kind of giant bird, you know?

Dee, you got bigger problems, because my dad just got out of jail,

Dee, you know what?

Dee, you tried this shit 30 years ago when that show first came on the air.

Dee!

Dee? Cricket trap bait? You?

Deep wounds.

Dennis and Frank, if you're watching this, then we're already dead.

Dennis and I are cool, right? We're not on your shit list?

Dennis and Mac thought it'd be funny to put the frame on Frank

Dennis is ready to jam him in the face,

Dennis Reynolds, 40 feet tall and shirtless.

Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life.

Dennis was jealous that Charlie had chosen Mac to help instead of him.

Dennis, a word.

Dennis, are you sure Dee is coming?

Dennis, do you know that she is inheriting my house?

Dennis, I told you you don't have the right stuff.

Dennis, if I was looking for safe,

Dennis, tell us what it's like to be so handsome.

Dennis, these girls are German. German.

Dennis, wake up.

Dennis, we should try and sell this book.

Dennis, what, are you having second thoughts about the glory hole?

Dennis, what's the name of this book?

Dennis, yo. Last minute thing.

Dennis, you and I on the same team. Hot chick up on the billboard.

Dennis, you know that this publisher is gonna have a fact checker, right?

Dennis, you think Frank's got a point here?

Dennis, you were never the personal sexual adviser to Jon Bon Jovi!

Dennis, you've been out modeled.

Dennis, your mule is shit.

Deny it?

Did I miss something?

Did I see you bang that thing?

Did I? My bad.

Did it make sense?

Did it not go through?

Did Odd Couplething for past decade, looking for something new

Did she just try and break a bottle over my head?

Did the neighborhood rob us?

Did you bring the toll?