The Office (2005) - Season 7 Edit

A book about oceans.

A boss and a money cruncher. I could fire you.

A butt, two kneecaps, a penis.

A chin, a mouth,

A cold sore is herpes.

A comic book.

A corporation you inherited from your father.

A crushing blow? Yes.

A day which will live infamously.

A division of Taliban enterprises.

A great opportunity squandered? Absolutely.

A Grinch stole the star from on top of the Christmas tree

A gunshot victim, and it got to me.

A horse.

A law office?

A little click. Mmm hmm.

A little cover up on your Adam's apple will make it appear smaller,

A little factoid. Interesting.

A little gift to me, but...

A little refresher course on romance in the workplace.

A little time to settle in, but...

A little treat for our old friend, Gabe

A loaves and fishes kind of miracle to feed them all.

A lot of good fortune and...

A lot of people.

A man dressed as a cat sat on my lap.

A man would wear a fake moustache to work.

A man's being put to death, I was part of the verdict,

A Merry Christmas.

A Merry Christmas. Thank you.

A mod is five minutes, and it started two minutes ago, so...

A part of my future? Wow.

A perfect cartwheel.

A perfect example, look at Jim and Pam.

A pool.

A product that nobody wanted.

A rabid pack of dogs surrounds you

A real David and Goliath story.

A scavenger hunt is where you find items from a master list.

A simple bowl at every juncture

A single piece of pepperoni, please.

A small blonde woman? Smaller than me.

A surveillance room next to this one.

A tiny thing. I locked her in the car.

A torpedo's coming right at me.

A trampoline. Mmm hmm.

A very advanced android,

A wee bit of viral marketing, gov'nor!

A what?

A..

A.J. said he hadn't seen any of the Toy Story movies.

A.J. won't commit to Holly.

Aah!

About China are a bit exaggerated.

About Colorado

About how Antz was just a rip off of A Bug's Life,

About how their grandfather won you back in a women's room.

About jan... no, jan is insane.

About these client memos?

About this whole New Year's deadline,

About what you're gonna put in your gullet,

Absolutely cold. You know what?

Absolutely not.

Absolutely. From Jim.

Absolutely. Hey, who'd you end up hiring?

Absolutely. I'll e mail you 100.

Absolutely. Now, when you get down there,

Absolutely. Pam, this is exactly why

According to the Internet, the tallest man in the world is Chinese.

Acting manager.

Actually tried marijuana in college,

Actually, I don't know what I did with the one sheet.

Actually, I'm meeting somebody, but I'm a little bit early.

Actually, I'm moving further than the 'burbs. Moving to Colorado.

Actually, it was.

Actually, it's 10,000.

Actually, it's Valentine's Day.

Actually, that's not true.

Actually, this is good.

Actually, we're in a mild recession right now, I'll give you that,

Actually, you do make a bigger deal out of things

Actually, you're speculating.

Ad lib masturbation joke. No.

Add it all up, and what do you get? 16.

Add to that list owner of this building.

After this, it's just smooth sailing for the rest of our lives.

After three years of writing, one year of shooting,

After what you did, you expect to be buttled?

After you didn't recommend me?

Again, I'm no doctor.

Again. Oh, okay.

Ah ha!

Ah, blood everywhere.

Ah, I'm trying not to touch you.

Ah, the old leave behind. Oldest trick in the book.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! Seems a little full of itself, right?

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. and get your flu shot.

All across America.

All I know is, if I was a girl and I had to choose

All I know is, if I was a girl and I had to choose

All I wanted was to start a family with my beautiful wife,

All I'm saying is, in about a month or so, have you down to Florida,

All I've ever wanted is to be manager here.

All in favor of the baskets full of chocolates, teddy bears and balloons.

All jumping around and sucking on the teat.

All of that stuff that came out in the press,

All of them, including killer fish

All of us? Yep.

All on the puck.

All over the inside of your precious little car.

All right

All right then, see you, guys.

All right y? Yeah.

All right, all right, all right! Shh! Michael!

All right, anyone else?

All right, bye. Bye.

All right, bye. Bye.

All right, bye. Bye. Bye. Okay.

All right, come on. Where are we going? Where are we going?

All right, fine!

All right, good catch up.

All right, guys, well,

All right, here we go.

All right, here we go.

All right, I will fax over it to you.

All right, I'm gonna go.

All right, I'm sorry.

All right, just call me after the doctor. Okay

All right, just out of curiosity,

All right, just out of curiosity,

All right, ladies. Back to the game. Do it!

All right, let me show you to your desk.

All right, let me turn on some music. I need to pee!

All right, let's do this.

All right, let's gather around.

All right, my turn.

All right, see you later, girl.

All right, so just pack your bags.

All right, then

All right, there you go. Seems a little close.

All right, wait, but a little bit of back story

All right, we got it. Good. Okay

All right, we should divide up by section.

All right, well, I just need to learn everything about China.

All right, well, I will be in my office

All right, well, thank you for my garbage computer.

All right, well, we'll be there in 10 minutes.

All right, well, you have great seats. Enjoy the show.

All right, what'd you do?

All right, yep. My bad.

All right, you deserved it.

All right, you have to close right now.

All right! Yes, I'll do it.

All right?

All right?

All right? I saw it.

All right? I'm not here to be your friend.

All right? New from Dunder Mifflin Sabre.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. All right, I get it.

All right. All right.

All right. Come on.

All right. Good!

All right. I'll take them.

All right. Meeting, multi function room

All right. Oh.

All right. On the count of three, it's show time.

All right. Something's come up. I gotta go.

All right. Well, all right, see you tomorrow.

All right. Well, if I see a gas station, I'll pull over.

All right. You have to pick up after them.

All right. You know what?

All right...

All that singing got in the way

All the channels are gonna be different there.

All the girls are on the other.

All the real Glee fans are gonna go down the hall

All the riches in Scotland.

All the time. All the time.

All the wig makers of london

All these new business ideas and artistic projects.

All this arguing reminds me of a very funny story.

All you had to do was play with her

All you wanna do is make sausage 'cause it's so much fun.

All your preconceived notions about what horror can be, come crashing down.

Allow all cookies? Why, soitenly.

Allow me to write you an apology letter.

Almost as good

Almost got you. No, so close.

Almost indistinguishable from a real person.

Along the north rim of the Grand Canyon

Also, Erin is jumping way too early.

Also, he slept with Pam.

Also, I'm a huge boob nerd.

Also, I'm going to set up hand sanitizing stations around the office.

Also, in that order.

Also, there's pee on the floor.

Although he's probably going to have to use condoms from here on out.

Although I must say, I will have apoplexy if you lose.

Although I've only seen Antz.

Although, I am a little happy right now

Although, I... I do like the early parts of the movies

Always glad to have an office funny guy around.

Always the Padawan, never the Jedi.

Always traveling on the road. Come on... Why not? Uh?

Am I blocking anybody? Can everybody see?

Am I doing the wrong thing?

Am I gonna be the happy me?

Am I the kind of person

Amazing. How do I look?

America...

American Idol? What? No.

An accident borne of jealous feelings.

An actual free lunch.

An antacid pill that you take once every six weeks.

An antacid that you only take once a week.

An astute observation, Kevin.

An F train to Brooklyn. Extra bitters.

An hest discussion about the sexual mores and taboos

An idea bigger than the Grand Canyon?

An old friend, and was a lover.

And 10 cents of every dollar is going into the party fund

And 25 years from now,

And a 50 year old guy who was a murderer?

And a 76ers fan to boot. I like that.

And a close personal friend of mine.

And a real ball, so you don't have to mime it.

And a shower.

And a top of the day to you, too, sir.

And a you looking dude who loved sweaters and wearing sweaters,

And accept the Extreme Repulsiveness Award.

And according to a study done by the University of Arizona,

And all the people on it were your family?

And also, I'm not sure if I love the guy

And Andy.

And another thing I did this summer.

And apparently they already hired a new manager.

And appreciate a woman... You know what, Pam, just save it.

And as for today, just a typical day.

And ask them where I was?

And asked for everyone's attention,

And at the end of the day, she gives me this, and she says,

And avoid the Valentine's Day dinner thing.

And bad at what he does!

And balloons are bigger than flowers.

And be sure to bring those swimming trunks.

And because of that

And becomes "Bear Man." Wreaks havoc on the office.

And Betty White that.

And bringing up my brand new executive assistant?

And California, California.

And call a proxy meeting

And call a proxy meeting in the same turn.

And character.

And check out the Harry Potter World.

And cider.

And come to my show?

And cuddle up with Papa and tell him about all your Christmas dreams?

And Danny Cordray's here.

And did you get the tickets?

And don't get me wrong, I love Michael and Holly.

And Dwight hasn't been messed with in a while,

And e mail them to me. Can you do that?

And everyone's invited, and it's at his apartment.

And exceptional paper quality.

And frankly cannot be contained.

And good for them.

And has the slot about the size of a finger.

And have her love you back. It is a feeling that cannot, and will not,

And he asked me to marry him, and it was perfect.

And he cooks in an oven, and all that jazz.

And he hadn't, of course.

And he just kept throwing them until he exhausted himself.

And he just...

And he kind of needs some help,

And he knows so much about that one.

And he roller skates like a Greek God. And you know what?

And he said he was just real excited to get home and see Holly.

And he told me that he loved me

And he treats her like she's a perfect 40.

And he was hoping to get an upgrade as an awards member.

And he'll create something totally unique. I love them.

And he'll tell us if we're hot or cold.

And he's begging me to reconsider,

And hearing about what a great boss I am.

And here's the best part.

And hire a new guy and then we all kill him,

And his wallet and phone are on the seat next to me.

And honestly, he's been nothing but nice to me.

And I always tell her, "Mom, you should sell this.

And I am leaving for the day at 4:00.

And I ate some of them.

And I bet you're wondering

And I can be mature about that.

And I can have mine. I have my own opinion,

And I can just go buy another telescope.

And I can tell you,

And I come back later and I pay for the hot dog.

And I could use some backup.

And I decided, I'm gonna pull in,

And I do this through the techniques of leading questions

And I don't have anything for you,

And I don't know about you, but I don't know a lot of happy marriages

And I don't know why you downgraded what we had,

And I don't want to say the other one was old,

And I found something unsavory

And I gave her the croak

And I gave them my word, so...

And I got to get real.

And I had to go to court and choose between them.

And I hate when I see others do that, so...

And I haven't been making very many sales lately, or ever.

And I hope that we can still be friends.

And I just didn't think it was indicative

And I just want my nephew to work

And I just want to state for the record that I am intending to sue Jim

And I just want us to all have a good time.

And I just wanted to call you all here together

And I know for a fact that there was a week for her in High School

And I know what Glee is. I am a total Gleek.

And I look forward to speaking. Thank you.

And I made a bit of a judgment call.

And I made it about me.

And I mean that figuratively, not literally.

And I must say that it is going immensely.

And I need to quickly figure out who's a good worker,

And I read it and then I read it again.

And I realize I can't do that to you fine people.

And I said, "I know.

And I see this guy trying to steal this lady's dog.

And I signed us up for three mods.

And I think it's going very well. How about you?

And I think of you as my Scarecrow, because you gave me a brain.

And I think that is shagadelic, baby.

And I think that we need to break up.

And I think that's because I'm not with the right person.

And I thought it had your name written all over it.

And I thought we should all celebrate

And I thought you were the prettiest mover I'd ever seen.

And I thought... Okay. No, no, no.

And I told him, "Dude, this was a prop in my movie."

And I want you to come with me.

And I want you to come with me.

And I want you to know that if you re up with us,

And I want you to shoot me, like, 100 times

And I wanted to apologize.

And I was actually gonna be wearing jeans.

And I was gonna say, "well, it's in the genes."

And I was just hoping that you would give me your approval.

And I was sitting at this desk

And I was thinking, you know, maybe,

And I will do that, and he'll slow down,

And I will grab you here anyway.

And I will never forget that you had the cutest look on your face

And I will see you at your place around 2:00 a.m.?

And I will start by giving the first gift to Phyllis.

And I will take you all down. You?

And I would like to discuss my intentions with you,

And I would like to invite you now to welcome him with open arms.

And I would much rather see a smile from Kevin

And I would text back. B T B. "Bring that Booty."

And I wrote my own companion piece to The Vagina Monologues,

And I... I'm exhausted.

And I'd be, like, "blah blah blah,

And I'd blow your mind.

And I'd point to them... right? No.

And I'll have the pedidexterity of a chimp,

And I'll read it over.

And I'll tell you what,

And I'm also a very dutiful boyfriend when...

And I'm fine, I just... I don't want to talk about it.

And I'm going to play this here "share the wealth" card.

And I'm going to tell her that I cannot come.

And I'm gonna hump her real good.

And I'm gonna start attacking people.

And I'm here to say goodbye to all you wonderful people.

And I'm launching a full investigation.

And I'm not so sure he's guilty anymore.

And I'm really sorry that I missed your play,

And I'm sorry I called you a pain in the ass.

And I'm still here, so... Wow.

And I'm taking Rachel.

And I'm the rootin' est...

And I'm worried that he has been abducted.

And I've always believed that we should all be very involved

And I've got a front row seat.

And I've never won a game.

And if he doesn't listen, then he can kiss his penis goodbye.

And if he doesn't?

And if I called that one so wrong...

And if I ever start acting like that weenie, Gabe,

And if I flake, I flake. What?

And if I thought you had done a better job,

And if I thought you were terrible, I would have booed.

And if it doesn't stop soon, I am gonna be up all night.

And if it goes good, it'll be part of my tradition.

And if not, he'll be avoiding the biggest mistake of his life.

And if someone else is driving me to the book store,

And if they want to jump in, it means you're almost there.

And if you don't think it's great,

And if you don't undo all the changes you've made, we're moving.

And if you feel like you cannot promote me

And if you haven't fallen in love with me by then.

And if you ruin this, I will burn this office to the ground.

And if you wait for the day when your parent comes to you and says,

And if you're really serious,

And impressions

And in the U.S. it has only risen by 8%?

And iny mind, ey were all great.

And is hiding it in the warehouse somewhere.

And it ain't Tara.

And it also helps if you've had five shots.

And it didn't go well.

And it seems like you've done that on several occasions.

And it was getting dark this one night and then out of nowhere,

And it was none of my beeswax.

And it was very difficult for me to say no.

And it's a projection of 15 years from now.

And it's already better than it was.

And it's not right to call her a bitch in front of strangers.

And Jim's mom suggested

And just because someone else is called the boss,

And just head back to the pool.

And Kevin and Stanley,

And laughing at all jokes.

And let her decide how to proceed.

And let me do it. Okay?

And let people come in the front.

And let you guys finish,

And look who's here to sign off on it.

And maybe I'm being overly sensitive, but

And maybe I'm going to buy a house from her.

And maybe people realize I have something to say.

And maybe, just maybe

And Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you.

And Michael refuses to hold the guilty party accountable.

And morale boosters and stuff.

And motion sensors on the lights.

And my daughter, Cece, dances on your grave fully clothed.

And my hat's off to them.

And my house is my house.

And my opinion is to disagree with you.

And next time, why don't you pick a co host

And no laughing, no comments, just positive energy,

And no more tampering with the toilet paper.

And nobody knows that you've had sex there,

And nobody talks me down like myself in a video talking me down.

And not just because the Eagles are playing.

And notify them of your herpes infestation.

And now it's on my work skirt.

And now Packer wants to come home.

And now you have to be an indoor cat,

And now, I'm gonna go watch the movie

And one for my friend.

And over here...

And pay you.

And Phyllis just had that "mom look" I wanted.

And release an album of Doris day covers

And right now, it's all "rat" and no "tat."

And right over there, that's where you realized

And say what? "Hey, Deangelo, are you shy or just a sexist?"

And scene

And science and geography and math and literary.

And see if we could spot him on the street below.

And see if you can find me some extra sick days.

And she always says, "No, it's just for family."

And she becomes "The Horse Flyer."

And she drives me to the airport,

And she hit her head and went into a coma forever.

And she rocks harder than anyone alive.

And she still is.

And she was...

And she's gonna tell him that if he doesn't propose to her

And she's so not.

And should he develop feelings for me?

And so it makes her want to do it all the more

And so what if she doesn't wear makeup?

And sobbing uncontrollably. Yes. Uh huh.

And sobbing uncontrollably. Yes. Uh huh.

And some people who don't.

And some people you don't.

And soon, I will say it in Chinese.

And still have most of our stuff? Good.

And take a shot of insulin and have a nap, okay?

And take control of Ewing Oil once and for all.

And take overwhelming revenge on that person.

And talking to you today...

And tell me you're not a diabetic?

And tell them that they'll get paid at 6:00 P.M.

And tell you about those good looking guys and gals over there.

And tells them it's Canada.

And thank you for your prayers for Justin.

And that he maybe will let us watch it,

And that I have been framed.

And that I was still in love with you,

And that includes comfortable temperatures and adequate lighting.

And that is Dallas.

And that is how you do it.

And that is my daughter.

And that is the humble trash can.

And that is what they call a meet cute.

And that part of me is really excited about the change of scenery.

And that person is

And that tells me that I am the sanest person I know. So...

And that was '95.

And that way, Larry lives on

And that we're both ready...

And that you had said some things about Kevin.

And that, to me, is the best Valentine's Day present

And that's how you do the Scarn

And that's just the way it is.

And that's not true,

And that's what I told him. Right.

And that's what you said about sales.

And the answer is clear.

And the babies that I make with her will be my children.

And the boondock saints.

And the character, Mykonos, is just a little added flavor.

And the Christmas party. And Cinco De Mayo.

And the desk.

And the front man, lead singer.

And the game's over seconds later.

And the girls are, like, "Let's go shopping."

And the Jennifer Weiner collection.

And the key to finding success is to picture a winner.

And the only reason I got out of the sales game

And the other one was terrible.

And the piranha's a rescue.

And the precious bundle of God's best everything,

And the princess knows that the queen doesn't like it,

And the queen doesn't like this at all.

And the queen.

And the rest was just boiler plate stuff, that's...

And the reward for its capture?

And the sentence, death. Death to Toby!

And the sound just, like, nails you right here.

And the verdict, it was Toby.

And the winner is, by two votes, Sam and...

And the women on these cakes,

And the words start to sound weird?

And then Creed, guest speaker extraordinaire.

And then double it!

And then down under the map.

And then every day, her husband went

And then go home.

And then he shot Andy in the head.

And then he will come back here and replace Holly,

And then he will come back here and replace Holly,

And then he's just gonna make half ass apologies,

And then I ask myself,

And then I come in and just close all the sales and stuff.

And then I remembered having a conversation with him

And then I'll push him again.

And then I've got to get him to the Dundies.

And then make... Okay. Okay. Okay.

And then one day, we're just talking.

And then that way we can spend the entire night with Cece,

And then tomorrow

And then we spend the rest of the day

And then when I actually saw them,

And then you push some more.

And then you should stay out as late as you want.

And then, after two years, the lazy bums haven't even started.

And then, he will smugly pay the check and make you feel so small.

And then, like, three episodes later,

And there was a chocolate fondue station.

And they can't be dry cleaned either.

And they did it with an actual blind guy.

And they finally caught up with you?

And they know how to party.

And they run faster than a horse.

And they said, "Oh, yes. Perfect.

And they will control us.

And they'd all say the same thing. "I'm coming over, baby."

And they're getting a taste for protein. We'll all starve.

And this guy is smoldering like a tire fire.

And this happens every year?

And this is Erin, and she's going to shave my face.

And this is the most important Christmas party of my life.

And this is where I ask you to marry me.

And this is where we first kissed.

And this is where we first made love.

And this isn't a joke. So call me back when you get this.

And this office is like the dragon that kept them apart.

And to middles. The unsung heroes. And to moms.

And to the Republic for which it stands,

And Tom... Was in green group.

And traded my way to a telescope.

And two bottles of scotch.

And unless you have a better argument than that,

And until then, you suckers will do.

And use on the people that really matter.

And visited her in the hospital until she died.

And was a complicated part of my past,

And we actually do need people to take sides.

And we all got misled.

And we can't just sit around waiting for Creed to die.

And we could ask for clues,

And we get to JFK, but I'm flying out of La Guardia.

And we have to establish a pee corner.

And we just loved it for what it is?

And we spent the entire day on Dallas.

And we stopped suddenly, and Ryan said,

And we would love to have you, but not today. Unfortunately, it's a bad day,

And we'll have a pure fun day, okay?

And we're back to square one.

And we're giving away free tickets.

And we're gonna watch Glee. Glee? What is Glee?

And we're hoping we could borrow your truck.

And we're meeting him today. It's a lot to process

And we're okay with it. We all agreed it's fine for you to get married.

And we're on our way to see Dr. Barbara.

And we're on.

And what do we have here?

And what else was there?

And what is the hook up zone policy on masturbation?

And what other state has the equal number?

And what was with Jesse's sudden turn

And what we are is up to you and me.

And when he does, boom, it's awful.

And when I cough, can you do jazz hands?

And when I'm promoted, you'll be full fired.

And when the right guy comes along, you'll know it.

And when they feel a breeze

And when they were both in the third grade,

And when we're done, we'll practically be Quimixtanos.

And where did you go?

And where every man, woman and child

And who is on my side?

And who is simply a good mind reader.

And who is this "the" Steve Nash?

And with a little tweaking, it becomes a different office.

And with it, the soul of America.

And without any plot, there is no movie.

And yesterday,

And yet, somehow it works

And you already know Dunder Mifflin

And you and me,

And you are smart.

And you can't work for it. It just comes to you.

And you destroyed a gift my boyfriend gave me?

And you didn't fail those things either.

And you didn't invite any of us?

And you do it forgettably.

And you don't have my numbers on speed dial.

And you don't often speak your mind,

And you got my business card, so...

And you had all these boxes

And you have a gigantic education,

And you just have fun, and you don't care about how it turns out.

And you know her husband's in a wheelchair, right?

And you know those annoying geese at the park?

And you know what else we're gonna do?

And you know what,

And you know what?

And you know what's gonna be on your tombstone? "Loser."

And you know who I end up owing this to, is the Scranton Strangler.

And you loom so large in my heart

And you made Hank smile.

And you make sure to get down there

And you might be saying to yourself,

And you might want to develop a couple of characters.

And you only, okay? Don't share it.

And you pull out this one, half used.

And you said that it was over and that you didn't love me.

And you set me up with a car seat and everything.

And you spend time alone,

And you were the only one.

And you will do your counseling right here

And you would have a great time,

And you would learn a lot.

And you, too. Yes. Praise God.

And you, why are you still here?

And you, you have landed yourself a senator.

And you'll be happy to know that he's taking care of

And you'll be sitting there like an idiot.

And you're just going to make fun of me, so why would I...

And you've been an outdoor cat.

And you've got my information, so feel free to call anytime.

And your mom also locked her in the car.

And, antiquing.

And, anyway, it's so much lighter.

And, B, I think a more appropriate statement would be,

And, Erin Hannon,

And, I have said goodbye to half of them.

And, I mean, it's just kind of a coincidence that I work there, but...

And, Jim, come on in.

And, secondly, Phyllis, how are those mittens coming?

And, then...

And, to be honest, so did I.

And, yes, it might have been funny,

And, you know what, to make it interesting,

And? Can you do it?

And... That's it.

And...I just think as an office we're better than that.

Andy

Andy, aren't there also negatives to sex?

Andy, do you know how to high five?

Andy, do you like being alone with me right now?

Andy, I feel like a tourist in my own city.

Andy, I'm no Jim. I'm...

Andy, listen to me.

Andy, look,

Andy, sing us another song.

Andy, that's way too personal of a question.

Andy, the reason it seems more recent

Andy, this is the deal we made.

Andy, what are you doing?

Andy, what time's it start?

Andy, what's the problem?

Andy, who needs confidence that he is a great salesman,

Andy, why should she have your crappy computer?

Andy, you look awful.

Andy!

Andy! Andy!

Andy! Andy! Andy!

Andy?

Andy? Yeah?

Andy.

Andy.

Andy's mom. Why?

Andy's not your guy.

Angela loves pussycats. Packer loves...

Angela, are you bringing your new boyfriend to the party?

Angela, lay it on me, what's the problem?

Angela? Don't like her anymore.

Angela? No.

Angela. Yes.

Ani ani shelto

Annoying. Yes.

Any big plans for tonight?

Any jobs going? No, not right now.