Glee (2009) - Season 1 Edit

A five, six, seven, eight.

A A All I know is that I'm not going anywhere...

A A And you... you expect me to pay it?

A And I only need two minutes of your time. Okay?

A bad reputation is better than no reputation at all.

A big gay team of dancing gays.

A break out that we might use at regionals.

A cockfight. Fantastic.

A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside...

A dream that means so much you're afraid to admit it even to yourself.

A family.

A few of my students T.P.'d your choir room.

A few swigs of that every day before school and you'll have all the courage you need...

A few years ago I started an online flirtation...

A five, six, seven, eight.

A girl really needs a good father...

A Glee Club is about a myriad of voices...

A good reputation is no good at all.

A guy came to Glee Club to talk to us about dreams.

A kick butt, old school rap song.

A little weird.

A lot of ants on the sidewalk today.

A lot of people thought I couldn't take nationals...

A multimedia project with Mercedes.

A personal favorite of mine, and Mr. Schuester won't give me a chance to sing it.

A photo circulated of a school superintendent

A platinum recording artist 20 times over

A properly steam cleaned piano is the key to any successful music group.

A quiver. That quiver will lose us nationals...

A skill that will nab us nationals this year...

A song by Miss Whitney Houston in his back pocket.

A Special Olympian speak about overcoming adversity.

A star.

A toast. Tonight is a momentous occasion.

A tub of Extreme Challenge Lifestyle Carbo gels.

A video that has a tendency to induce cruel, slow motion laughter.

A wealthy relative died?

A week ago, had I found a list that so degraded the Glee Club...

A week ago.

A whole freaking year. All that hard work for nothing.

A world where I couldn't constantly ridicule your hair.

A world where I couldn't make fun of you for tearing up more than Michael Landon...

A... A casting session for what?

Aaah!

About all the shenanigans that were going on behind the scenes.

About choreographing for our Glee Club.

About how the human condition can be improved by, yes, singing about it.

About how to sing a great ballad.

About livin' on the bayou.

About the Glee Club.

About the hopelessness of my condition.

About the kids.

About what cool people do from watching them over the years.

About your future at WOHN.

Absolutely.

Acafellas!

Acafellas.

Access him and tell him to prove to me that I chose the right guy to have a baby with.

According to our test records, most of your cheerleaders are functionally illiterate!

Achievitate? Achievalize?

Actually transferred today out of fear of retaliation.

Actually, can you wait to cash that until Thursday?

Actually, did you know I was seeing a therapist?

Actually, I don't know if it's the missing Mohawk or the whining...

Actually, it was tomorrow, but Will wanted tonight, so I'm surprising him.

Actually, it's a big problem.

Actually, maybe I shouldn't wear it.

Actually, no, Will. I can't give you a sec.

Actually, no. You know what? You're more than that.

Adios, amigo.

After Daddy bought you this car so you could drive him to the Chastity Ball.

After dentists, obstetricians have the highest rate of suicide...

After he found my tiara collection in my hope chest.

After high school. Did you even try?

After I bought dip and nunchakus.

After I swore to stop wearing form fitting sweaters that stop at the knee.

After their full page ad last year in the Thunderclap.

After winning an international cheerleading competition...

After you... not anyone else... you got them banned from the yearbook.

After your brazen escalation of our growing dispute, which we were willing to put to rest...

Again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again!

Ah, chipper up, tiger.

Ah, I can't wait to start singin' and dancin' ...

Ah, me.

Ah, showtime.

Ah, that's all right. I didn't even know what those words meant.

Ah, who cares? Madonna never finished college.

Ah. Chink in the armor, huh?

Ah. Dream on, brother.

Ahh.

Aja... no.

Alcoholics Anonymous wants to rent it out for their afternoon meetings.

All go around the room and talk about things that we loved about Glee Club this year?

All I can say is, casting my vote was easy.

All I did was step up and be a man. They got what was coming to them.

All I ever hear is you whining and crying about how hard this is on you. What about her?

All I know is that she walked in unannounced...

All I know is that you're a punk who doesn't deserve to have Quinn as his girlfriend!

All I know is we proved something tonight.

All I know is, last night I got vaporized on level two.

All I want is just one day a year...

All I want to do is dance.

All of 'em. Except for the encyclopedias, but...

All of your classmates are going to be begging for your autographs.

All our ballads are terrible 'cause we're all so distracted.

All over my new carpet.

All pretty tough guys. All of them had big careers as performers.

All right, boys. Five, six, seven.

All right, everybody, take five.

All right, everybody. Listen up.

All right, guys, I did some thinking last night.

All right, guys, listen up.

All right, guys, today I want to talk to you about regrets.

All right, guys.

All right, guys.

All right, guys.

All right, guys. How about a little Kanye?

All right, guys. Let's get things started.

All right, guys. Listen up.

All right, guys. Very impressive.

All right, guys. We're doin' a new number for sectionals.

All right, here's the important point.

All right, here's what happens now.

All right, I'll start at the bottom, and then we'll go up higher.

All right, I'm out.

All right, I've said my piece. What do you want to say?

All right, just keep the music down.

All right, just like that. Ready?

All right, let's go over the script.

All right, let's rehearse then.

All right, let's vote up in this piece.

All right, look.

All right, man, go to work.

All right, remember, guys, oral reports Wednesday.

All right, Schue. Nice.

All right, so I do a chore, and then I get a star, and then...

All right, take five, guys.

All right, this is so not fair, Sue.

All right, well, uh, let's get started.

All right, you kids be careful, all right?

All right, you know this system's put in place to keep order around here.

All right? So find out what he likes. Then he'll see you in a positive way...

All right? That's cool. O Okay.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Every time you whisper in her ear...

All right. Finn and Rachel, come up here. You're gonna take the leads.

All right. Good job, guys, but that's not funk.

All right. Good job.

All right. Great news, guys.

All right. Hottest guys in the school. Go.

All right. Let's do it. From the top.

All right. Let's try, uh, reverse chair on two.

All right. Oh. Thanks.

All right. Quinn goes first.

All right. Welcome to the Glee Club's first official "diva off."

All right. Well, we'll see. Hit it!

All Susan Smith on that little angel.

All that effort covering that up.

All the adoption papers seem to be in order, but there's no name on the birth certificate yet.

All the more reason. You gotta do whatever it takes, honey.

All the other dads brought their sons.

All the pieces fit. You have a very big ax to grind with several people on that Glist.

All they know is that they love performing...

All this baby drama is making my rosacea act up.

All this time I thought Mr. Schuester was overreacting.

All those costumes and the hairstyles...

All those in favor of hiring Dakota Stanley...

All those in favor of winging it?

All those opposed?

All we did was sleep.

All you did is what I wasn't brave enough to do...

All you have to do is look at pictures of her...

All you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels.

Almost halfway done with almost all of it, Mr. Schue.

Also angels.

Also you. You's gotta go, F.A. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah.

Also, a la Madonna...

Also, baby doll dresses... dead giveaway.

Also, Ken is dating Emma, but she's really got eyes for Mr. Schue.

Also, Kurt told everybody he's gay, including his dad, who was actually cool about it.

Also, my girl needs a coffee drink.

Also, Sue convinced Kurt and Mercedes that they should join the Cheerios...

Also, Sue spilled the beans that Will sucked face with Shelby Corcoran...

Although the lyrics did leave something to be desired.

Am I asking for too much...

Am I hurting your feelings? Did I say something wrong?

Am I missing something, Journal?

Amazing, guys. Bull's eye.

Amazing. Nobody's safe. Nobody is safe.

American teens are coming down with a serious case ofTwilight fever...

Among medical professionals.

An album that would later sell over 30 million copies.

An opportunity arose for me to showcase my talents, and I took it.

An outsider.

And and that's before they even start human trials.

And 10 gorillas bearing down on you...

And a dash of ipecac a vomiting agent.

And a good enough person to realize that...

And a litany of criticisms just start building up inside of me like a volcano...

And a mysterious blend of herbal remedies...

And a strange affinity for sweaters with animals on them.

And a vow of silence...

And accepts you for who you are, no matter what.

And after I graduated, I hit the big time.

And after the tour and the yogurt tasting...

And all I ask in return is that you're just honest with me.

And all my artistic decisions have been derided as too costly...

And all of this, all of us...

And all that money Figgins has been funneling into your budget...

And all the best ones are in the Cheerios.

And all the guys are calling me Deep Throat.

And all you have is each other.

And although it wouldn't be my first choice, but...

And an angry crowd screaming abuse at you.

And an esophagus transplant.

And And you gotta respect her, all right?

And answered every question with a drawing of a sombrero.

And appropriate to wear.

And as a welcome back to the world of the normal, I got you a present

And as soon as a cheerleader rolls herself out onto the field in a wheelchair...

And as soon as I figure out the difference between slander and libel, I'm filing a lawsuit.

And as you can see by my decor, I love me some trophies.

And Asian vampires are the most vicious of all the vampires.

And aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals...

And ask the director point blank.

And ask them to show you what they can do.

And ask yourself, "Do I wanna be a winner"...

And author of the soon to be published memoir I'm a Winner and You're Fat...

And avoid rum based drinks, and you'll be fine.

And be a part of something special.

And be down to a trim 210 for the wedding a week Saturday.

And be in a gender appropriate cheerleading uniform...

And being a part of that, in that moment...

And being my close personal confidant...

And being raised by your mom...

And being told that they're going in another direction.

And by "date," I mean sleep with people.

And by "sleep with," I mean have sex with people. People like me!

And by 6:10 I'm on the elliptical.

And Carole said that Finn's never been to a Major League game.

And chugging down herbal tea will do the same job?

And claw, claw, up, clap clap!

And come to find out you've been fooling around with some woman named Shelby...

And consider some tighter fitting clothing.

And convinced them they can't beat 'em at regionals...

And deal with a pregnant girlfriend who yells about ice cream.

And did you ever get any of those parts?

And didn't even take home the Care Bear I won him playing Skee Ball?

And do they come in different colors?

And don't let me catch you snoozin' .

And don't sweat that old chair. I have a lovely chaise picked out.

And don't wear that tie.

And down, clap, and up, clap, clap.

And dressing differently, and singing Mellencamp?

And drink more.

And dropped below us hockey dudes on the food chain?

And Emma can't go to sectionals, and Ken just seems kind of angry.

And enrichment.

And even though he and I haven't spoken since the "Run Joey Run" debacle...

And everyone acts like it's totally normal.

And expect to return with a comically large first place trophy...

And find a spot on the wall to spot you so you don't get dizzy.

And finding a hairstyle that doesn't make you look like a lesbian.

And finding a hairstyle that doesn't make you look like a lesbian.

And Finn's mother's romance with my father...

And five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four...

And for him to tell me that he loves me.

And for the sake of the team, I broke up with Jesse.

And for us.

And furthermore, I don't like this minority business.

And gave these fine ladies the romance they were missing.

And get some lotion for those knuckles you've been draggin' on the ground?

And gettin' high off of her fawning over you.

And Glee Club will never end, Mr. Schue, because...

And guess what they're working.

And had the courtesy to invite us this time.

And Haverbrook School for the Deaf have informed me...

And he asked me out.

And he even got the whole Bears team to take them...

And he gives me all of it I want.

And he let slip that you just landed the lead in Les Mis.

And he likes who I am and I like how I feel when I'm with him.

And he never does.

And he never will.

And he said that if your group doesn't place at regionals...

And he started me on all the therapies that you researched for me.

And he took ballet lessons.

And he was cool about letting me hang out.

And he would like to say a few words.

And he wouldn't want you to do this if I wasn't ready.

And he'd like to speak to you.

And he's available.

And he's back on Vocal Adrenaline, which freaked everybody out...

And he's disqualified from sectionals because he slept on a mattress.

And he's disqualified from sectionals because he slept on a mattress.

And he's generous, and he deserves a lot better than you.

And he's in our group. He understands what I'm going through.

And he's sitting in this chair.

And here.

And here.

And here's the truth.

And hey, there's always Branson.

And his brassy hag Mercedes just tore that Madonna song...

And hit, hit. Down. Hit.

And hold that precious life and say "No."

And how her music was being blasted like an intimidating cluster bomb...

And how if we find that place within...

And how many chances at this am I gonna get?

And I am not getting any better...

And I am sympathetic to all of your stuff.

And I appreciate your offer...

And I believe in what we stand for.

And I brought you here to introduce you to him, help you move forward.

And I calmly informed them of my unlikely skyrocket to showbiz fame...

And I can't ask Finn. He'll know something's up.

And I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I really like being in Glee Club.

And I can't even go over to Dudley Road and tell the Fabrays the truth.

And I can't have that.

And I can't let that happen again.

And I can't rock either of those looks.

And I can't see you without feeling heartbroken.

And I can't wait to get a guy mad at me for saying "no."

And I can't wait to introduce them all to you.

And I care about you more than winning another national title.

And I could have had you, but I blew it.

And I didn't want to ask them anything...

And I don't look kindly on absenteeism.

And I don't think you are.

And I don't wanna read any more of those sonnets you wrote for me.

And I don't want anything to distract me from you guys.

And I don't want anything to distract me from you guys.

And I don't want to leave high school with nothing to show for it.

And I don't want to move in with you. No offense.

And I don't want to see you throw away everything you have to offer the world.

And I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone...

And I dress better than her.

And I feel I must be prepared.

And I feel really terrible about it...

And I felt fat that day.

And I find it disgusting.

And I found 18 empty boxes of Christmas lights

And I get how those detours might have hurt you.

And I got custom made New Directions jean jackets

And I got to be honest. I need to spice up my image a little.

And I had to fill in at this fool event.

And I happen to know you've had your ups and downs with Santana and Brittany

And I have a call in to the president.

And I have never even heard the term "show choir"...

And I have no idea what that song was about...

And I have not seen the student body this excited...

And I have to rub Biofreeze on my shins a couple times a day.

And I have you to thank for it.

And I haven't even shown you any of my over the left shoulder poses, see?

And I honestly can't even finish that sentence, so let's just get to it.

And I hung out at that bar for a few months or so.

And I insist you retract it immediately.

And I just can't rock that look.

And I just have to ask...

And I just panicked.

And I just wanted to say, I hope it works out between you and Rachel...

And I keep telling myself to hold it in, and then it just comes bursting out.

And I know for a fact that you didn't do it with him.

And I know he keeps a key under the mat.

And I know he still feels the same way about me.

And I know how important it is for all of us to go to sectionals together...

And I know that you don't either.

And I know that you think I'm a bad person...

And I know this must be really hard for you.

And I know you're an amazing singer.

And I learned it's good to be a little theatrical.

And I let my anxiety rule my life.

And I love her so much, I don't care.

And I love you guys too much to let you not make the most of it.

And I love you just as much.

And I maintained a loving relationship...

And I mean, who's to say that there's only one culprit?

And I need to find something nice to wear to the Fabrays for dinner. So...

And I need to make manager by the end of the year...

And I need you to tell me the truth, because if you don't...

And I only saw her for a second...

And I personally feel like a failure.

And I promise, it's only temporary. You're the best.

And I realized that now is the time to save it and possibly you.

And I really think the kids are gonna learn a lot of valuable technique from her.

And I recently contacted an exotic animal dealer...

And I recently downloaded every song Sammy Davis, Jr. Ever recorded on iTunes.

And I salted the earth in the backyard...

And I saw your video.

And I shoved your face into one of those pink, enflamed monkey butts that weeps lymph.

And I showed you that video of yourself singing at nationals...

And I suspect that, with the exception of Kurt...

And I swear I could see her ovaries.

And I swear to you I will never hurt her.

And I think it played a big part in ending my marriage.

And I think it's about time we did a little more of it right here.

And I think that school is in Thailand.

And I think that's so cool 'cause you know how much I love apples, right?

And I think we should encourage our pupils to do the same.

And I think you just might be that gal.

And I think...

And I took a little shopping spree through theJazz Hands catalog.

And I understand why you did what you did...

And I wanna help you get back on your feet.

And I want Acafellas to be the main event.

And I want everybody to hear it.

And I want the agony out of your eyes!

And I want you to listen very closely to the lyrics...

And I wanted to run some songs by you that feature me heavily on lead vocal.

And I was getting Slusheed.

And I was wondering if I could lie down in here for a while.

And I was wondering if you might want to come chaperone with me.

And I was wrong.

And I was, like, "Get off the stage.

And I will always love you.

And I will give it to you again if you can sing the song better than Kurt.

And I will win.

And I would have been out the door.

And I wouldn't be surprised if the feeling was mutual.

And I wouldn't want a big ceremony, you know, like in a church or with... people.

And I, for one, am not gonna be a part of it anymore.

And I'd hate to see them so devastated by losing...

And I'd just like to set up some ground rules off the bat.

And I'd practice a little bit more...

And I'd wanna continue living in different parts of town.

And I'll be singing "On My Own" from the seminal Broadway classic Les Mis.

And I'll give you back your team of losers and snot faucets.

And I'll have my guys on Thursday again? 3:30?

And I'll make sure that I'm fastidiously groomed.

And I'll pull some strings and make sure that Schuester and his group perform last.

And I'm a bitch to her.

And I'm a celebrity now, William.

And I'm afraid I'm not making good choices right now.

And I'm coming with you to your next doctor's appointment.

And I'm going to mount the first ever all white production of The Wiz.

And I'm gonna be stuck in this chair the rest of my life.

And I'm gonna do everything I can to be a good dad to our baby.

And I'm gonna get my boyfriend back.

And I'm gonna keep you guys fired up.

And I'm gonna make it a habit not to stop and talk to students...

And I'm gonna need some new maternity clothes.

And I'm gonna say this as nicely as I possibly can...

And I'm gonna slip into something a little more comfortable.

And I'm gonna teach you how to smile correctly for your photo.

And I'm gonna tell him we're through.

And I'm just this nobody that everybody makes fun of.

And I'm normally tired, but lately...

And I'm not talking about the girls.

And I'm not talking about trying to check out a reference book.

And I'm really hungry, so stop trying to get me to eat you!

And I'm spraying some dweeb with it, and I don't know how I got there.

And I'm sure somebody would be more than happy to take on my lawsuit.

And I'm sure there'll be others after I graduate.

And I'm taller than you.

And I'm tired of being lonely. Aren't you?

And I'm trying...

And I'm worried about our chances for sectionals.

And I've been so overwhelmed trying to figure them all out.

And I've chosen a Lady Gaga look that expresses the longing for a childhood I was deprived of.

And I've had something of a personal awakening...

And I've just been informed that New Directions has not been afforded a yearbook photo.

And I've proven that I can wipe you and your Glee Club...

And I've sacrificed everything only to be shanghaied...

And if Glee's gonna win I need to give her a second chance.

And if he were here right now, I would club you to death with his Critics' Choice Award.

And if I don't get enough sleep, my antidepressants won't work.

And if I were you, I'd recognize who my true friends are.

And if it is one minute late, I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat.

And if people don't like you for that, then I'm sorry, but who needs 'em.

And if she doesn't go on none of the kids can.

And if there's anything on that list that involves...

And if there's one thing I've learned, it's that no one's just gonna hand it to you.

And if they don't place at regionals the club is over, which would be awful.

And if things get serious, you know, use protection.

And if we want to take it to the next level, we have to start...

And if we're last, then we're the freshest in the judges' minds.

And if you can't take Muhammad to the mountain...

And if you ever tell anyone this, I'll deny it...

And if you like what we have to say...

And if you want to get up on this, just let me know.

And in the spirit of full access, each of you is going to get a vote.

And in this town, you're not gonna do much better.

And isn't that what you've been drilling into their heads all year...

And it becomes Principal Figgins's jurisdiction.

And it felt amazing...

And it felt so good to be close to you in that way.

And it made people think I was weird, so they left me alone.

And it screwed up their DNA.

And it turns out it's Shelby Corcoran, the coach of Vocal Adrenaline.

And it turns out that the judges like songs that are more accessible.

And it was like some ghost had laid out this beautiful, romantic meal for me...

And it wasn't until I joined Glee Club that I realized...

And it went over the top, and the song went with it.

And it'll be awesome at regionals.

And it's a little chilly for my girls to be practicing outdoors.

And it's all the way in the far end of campus.

And it's an outrageous affront to my sterling reputation!

And it's been 42 days since I sang a show tune.

And it's stinking up my office.

And it's the first time we've been kind of good.

And Jesse's a good kid.

And Ken and Emma's wedding is that same day, so Will can't go to the wedding...

And Ken Tanaka is raiding the nacho bar

And know that what he's saying is just one of many opinions.

And let me get back to whipping my squad of champions into shape.

And let you rock me and tell me everything is gonna be fine, but...

And lie on the floor and close my eyes and just smell her.

And like you guys, it's time to start rehabilitating its bad reputation.

And listen up.

And loaded with empty calories. You know why they call them Slushees?

And loading your hair with enormous amounts of product.

And loneliness... and any other dark clouds that might float into it.

And look it up for yourself in that year's Thunderclap.

And made a creative preemptive strike.

And make Artie drive by himself with his dad.

And mash 'em together to make an even richer explosion of musical expression.

And maybe along the way, we can find a way to help you too.

And maybe even puttin' on the Ritz a little bit.

And maybe it is.

And maybe that's your problem.

And maybe the same is gonna go for most of those kids...

And maybe this is gonna cost me her...

And maybe wanna knock her down a peg or two?

And maybe you'll end up doing something that you never would have expected.

And miss all your drama? Never.

And moon over the fact that you care about me so much, but, um...

And more specifically, I'm tired of wasting my time with high school girls.

And more time convincing Judge Sylvester that your New Directions have got the goods.

And Mr. Schuester will monitor them to make sure that they're fair to all.

And my A.V. Club friends here agreed to help out.

And my Ace Frehley is supposed to be a spaceman from another planet.

And my dads are moving my therapist to our spare room later this afternoon.

And my job is to love you no matter what.

And my new star singer will have lost 10 pounds...

And my personality, though exciting and full of surprises...

And my run for his heart.

And my sister and I took it upon ourselves to bleach my hair...

And my subconscious tendency to always be desperately looking for someone named Susan.

And neither do you. It's kind of ironic how you're Mr. Popular...

And neither do you. It's kind of ironic how you're Mr. Popular...

And neither will yours.

And next, I don't really take direction.

And no funny business.

And no one single man can win that war, not even if they strap nukes on him.

And no, I didn't make the Glist.

And not everyone's gonna have the walnuts to take a pro littering stance...

And now he's calling her up to tell her he wants more.

And now I can't remember how to leave.

And now I run a successful used Hummer dealership.

And now my Cheerios squad this year...

And now neither of us have him.

And now our first performance of the evening...

And now our panel of judges.

And now Rachel was inadvertently telling me how to beat my other nemesis.

And now she's begging me for mercy.

And now that I can...

And now that I've got that back...

And now you just yell at me all the time.

And now you're running off to be somebody's boyfriend?

And now you're telling me that's not the case?

And now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome McKinley High School's...

And now, your 2010 Midwest Regionals Show Choir champions...

And now?

And now... I mean, now you spend all your free time...

And of course I would love to play some bigger venues... Wembley Stadium, Red Rocks.

And once again I will be humiliated.

And once again, I am making fun of your incredibly stupid hairdo.

And one I understand you've been making to our friends at Haverbrook and Jane Addams.

And only two percent of high schools require any form of daily physical activity.

And only yesterday this dark specter reared its head at McKinley High.

And open all the drawers...

And open your eyes!

And our little girl...

And playback.

And poor, sweet Brittany.

And punch you in the face.

And Quinn's pregnant, but Puck's the father, not Finn.

And quit that little Glee Club for good!

And realizing what my own needs are.

And really nice teeth. He's obviously invested in good oral hygiene.

And refusing to hire him could be seen as discrimination.

And remember, flirting is cheating.

And right now, Glee Club is all you have.

And sat down together for our traditional...

And self centered than you already are.

And set the record straight.

And she got into Arizona State.

And she never graduated.

And she says that a lot of the top cheerleaders are defecting to the show choir.

And she was fine, but I've been in the chair ever since.

And she was in a medically induced coma for three days.

And she wrote me a check for three new handicap ramps.

And she's a distraction. Look at her. She's wearing a pantsuit.

And she's convinced herself that you are as committed to this reunion as she is.

And shove you to the back of the photo to hide your shame.

And showing him what winning is all about.

And sleepovers with that world class banana magnet April Rhodes.

And so I think something could have happened, but I it didn't.

And some rad tear away dance wear.

And some scientists at UC San Diego were actually able...

And something stopped me.

And start competing alongside them.

And start finding out more about me, about who I am.

And Sue gave the competition Will's set list for sectionals.

And Sue won't leave Will alone...

And take that Glee Club photo with pride.

And talking about girls?

And tell you things like, "You got what it takes."

And Terri's only fake pregnant and wants Quinn to give her her baby so Will won't find out.

And that includes an elementary school production of Hair.

And that is something I think you guys need to work on.

And that just ain't right.

And that leads me to believe you know your kids don't have what it takes.

And that one time April Rhodes spent the night...

And that role's already been cast because Quinn chose Finn.

And that Vocal Adrenaline's best days are behind it.

And that, fellow Glee Clubbers, is how we say hello.

And that... That is what Glee is supposed to be about.

And that's how Sue sees it.

And that's how Sue sees it.

And that's how Sue sees it.

And that's how Sue sees it.

And that's important to me. It shows wonderful self esteem.

And that's me talking!

And that's not something I can fake.

And that's saying something. I once taught a cheerleading seminar to a young Sarah Palin.

And that's what leaders do. They stick their necks out for people that they care about.

And that's what makes us special.

And that's what we're here to sing about.

And that's what we're here to sing about.

And that's what you missed on Glee.

And that's what you missed on Glee.

And that's what you missed on Glee.

And that's what you missed on Glee.

And that's what you missed on Glee.

And that's what's important.

And that's where you lose, Finn...

And the 1980 Police classic, "Don't Stand So Close To Me."

And the baby daddy? Finn.

And the Cheerios can no longer practice out of doors.

And the doors have a "hello" song.

And the fact is, upon further reflection, my firing of him was rash.

And the fact that you can't sleep unless your shoes are all in a row?

And the first sample is free. Come on.

And the good news just keeps coming, 'cause you got a part too, Bry.

And the least I can offer her is my compassion.

And the night of the wedding her husband kept stepping on the train.

And the only time I felt... I felt that way since then...

And the only time I've ever been to an OB/GYN office...

And the only way she's gonna get that is if I give her to you.

And the owner operator of a cabaret roller rink!

And the quarterback for the photo...

And the rest are just depressed and confused.

And the rest is just a whole lot of middle.

And the revenge of the jilted woman is usually pretty messy.

And their righteous horns to help me out with my song.

And their vocals were just so so.

And then at Cheerios practice, disaster.

And then block as the play develops, okay?

And then half price to the motocross tonight, so I promised I'd take him. Hi.

And then he died. [Laughs]

And then he'll be crying into my shoulder pads.

And then I had sex with her in your bed. Nice Star Wars sheets.

And then I realized the only thing I want...

And then I would be a firecracker for the rest of the day.

And then I'll be happy to offer you a job as my second assistant on Cheerios

And then l I started dating someone l I really care about...

And then my parents are gonna find out that I'm with child... your child.

And then New Directions would have no chance at winning regionals.

And then on some dark, cold night I will steal a way into your home...

And then ran out of my apartment with no shoes on.

And then reject Kurt's request out of hand.

And then she put on this really weird Catwoman suit...

And then somebody made a "Glist" of who in the Glee Club was the naughtiest.

And then the club is over.

And then the doctor, he said it was a hysterical pregnancy...

And then they found out that he was a carrier for Tay Sachs.

And then they have to hear that McKinley went and invited those bad girls to the school?

And then we really have no chance at sectionals.

And then you are gonna go on to do amazing things, Quinn.

And then you have him by the balls for the rest of your life.

And then you rub it in everybody's faces.

And then, hopefully, you can apply this musical lesson to your own lives.

And then, uh, we'll work in your song for the big finish.

And there really is nothing sexier in a man than... than confidence, you know?

And there's a new rule this year. We have to perform... a ballad.

And there's a new rule this year. We have to perform... a ballad.

And there's one linchpin holding that group together.

And these things are gonna happen someday...

And they called Paul Stanley the Star Child because he was romantic or something.

And they gave me your name. I'd really like to help.

And they should have the same chance as everyone else to express it.

And they will have failed.

And they'll tell you one thing:

And they're busy at work on a new number, more confident than ever.

And they're certainly more likely to turn out like you.

And they're embarrassed enough as it is.

And think about it. Jim Brown. Dick Butkus.

And this food was not satisfactory.

And this is a tape I found in the library of the '93 team at Nationals.

And this is how you're telling me?

And this means that I'm gonna be around all the time now.

And those Jane Addams girls had it goin' on in all the right places.

And those shake diets are really unhealthy.

And those were the good times.

And those who may be a part of your future soon...

And though I completely loathe you...

And thus my teaching tenure, I think she would have come to me.

And to all those naysayers out there who say, "That's illegal.

And to have a glue gun that works!

And to pay for the bus, we're having a bake sale.

And to think I thought you were a dumb blonde.

And turn around and down and up.

And turns out, you need 12 kids to qualify for regionals.

And two cases of Natty light for the ride home.

And two months later...

And two, you need something to distract from your horrible personality.

And two: How about those New Directions?

And unless all the guys choose Glee...

And use this for a handicap ramp in the auditorium.

And very gently told them all...

And Vocal Adrenaline doesn't perform with any.

And waiting to hear his laugh...

And wake you up.

And walk on over to Dr. Chin.

And we are glad to have you back, Finn.

And we are gonna rule this school.

And we can help you find a new look.

And we can't get a good night's sleep.

And we could certainly use your voice right now.

And we could just see how it goes.

And we have a jumper.

And we have needs...

And we have to come up with this funk number for Glee and I have less than zero ideas...

And we knew we had our name.

And we look like we just stepped off the short bus.

And we should just all go home because it means we've already lost.

And we shouldn't have to hide it.

And we sucked.

And we won't run the A.C. for the first couple of summers.

And we'll be flipping a coin to see who goes first.

And we'll be right back after this.

And we'll make sure that it's got a killer high note.

And we're gonna be all you have left.