A Series of Unfortunate Events - Season 3 Edit

A bank is a bit like a library, although we don't approve of people browsing.

A big hotel can work to our advantage.

A captain's hat does not make you a captain!

A captain's supposed to have all the answers,

A catalog? A hostage.

A certain dead count that you read about in the paper.

A certain man with a beard but no hair, a certain woman with hair but no beard.

A cocktail party!

A couple of cakesniffers trying to sneak away.

A failure.

A fire? Olaf, you're finally thinking big.

A fungus so powerful

A guest asked for something. I don't think I should give it to her.

A justice so blind

A little more. Little more.

A lot of people seem noble that aren't. I don't trust her, Klaus.

A man, a woman, a child.

A manager named Frank will try to help us,

A nice cycle for you, an unprofitable one for me.

A person viewing a television program does not have to choose

A person who observes their surroundings, like a spy.

A phrase which here means "very famous for being very loud."

A phrase which here means it disappears and reappears.

A pompous dogooder who is definitely not dead.

A schedule that currently meant Sunny Baudelaire had an hour to live.

A series of fires, and their own tragic mistakes.

A signal flare.

A tingly sensation in your throats?

A tropical island, and her.

A villainous disregard for the lives of other people.

A villainous laugh...

A violin solo about a naval disaster!

A witness calling a witness? That's highly unusual.

A word which here means you work for me.

About someone he loves very much.

About V.F.D., about your parents.

According to a book on criminal law, a witness may question another witness

According to a numerical classification system

According to my calculations, the bowl is under Anwhistle Aquatics, right here.

Actually, families take on all sorts of shapes, like

Actually, I am Frank.

Actually, it sounds like your heart's desire

After a great deal of time

After everything we've heard?

After I got your fortune, of course.

After the Baudelaires were accused of murder in the Village of Fowl Devotees,

After Thursday, Count Olaf will be behind bars.

After Thursday, Kit and I are leaving V.F.D. to raise our child.

After Thursday, Kit and I are leaving V.F.D. to raise our child.

After we save Sunny, we have to help those kids.

After you shot that manager, I went inside and found the manager.

Ah, but I've always been honest about my desires, orphans:

Ah, concierge, I need you to come with me to room 025, the laundry room.

Ah, the concierge!

Ah, the thrill of the chase!

Ah, then it's your fault.

Ah, there you are, concierge. I have an important job for you.

Ah, you must be J.S.!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Aha!

All I need is the Baudelaire fortune

All joy and mirth has been sucked from my life like those...

All of them are equally boring...

All of them are equally dry, a word which here means "boring."

All purpose flour,

All right! Get out of my way! I know the answer to the next question.

All right.

All rise for the High Court judges,

All three of us were with Frank or Ernest at three o'clock exactly.

All you care about is the sugar bowl,

All you have to say is yes.

Almost as much as jumping aboard other people's ships

Along with all the witnesses of Count Olaf's crimes,

Along with that other man who I didn't get a really good look at.

Also, the sugar bowl is definitely not down in the laundry room.

Although I can't give it to you until you give me his name.

Although I can't imagine you'd have any use for it.

Although she can't tell you that now because she's just taken a vow of silence.

Although they did spell my name right.

Am an insufferable know it all who likes to show off.

Among friends and associates,

An excellent question.

An extra special messenger is supposed to get an extra special tip.

An interesting question.

Ancient, mysterious things.

And a mail chute disguised as a laundry vent.

And a picnic in the back of a taxi.

And a series of arsons.

And a terrible crime that happened one night at the opera.

And a way out.

And a woman who values paperwork over people's lives.

And after we tried so hard to set a bad example.

And all because of

And all decent people have their day in court.

And all your troubles will be over at last.

And any books you have on the Medusoid Mycelium.

And anything else I feel like taking.

And are prepared to speak out on your behalf,

And are unable to agree what it looks like.

And as peppermints love your allergies.

And as requested,

And as the aquatic base of a secret organization.

And as the battlefield loves young men,

And as the passengers love the lifeboat,

And assorted violence than I would have preferred,

And Babs thinks that J.S. is a sea captain.

And bananas, and lemon sorbet because I'm lactose intolerant.

And Beatrice was talking about morality, or something.

And believe us.

And bring down a building.

And bring him to the lobby so justice can be served!

And Carmelita.

And Count Olaf knows that.

And crows.

And deep sea divers.

And destiny is a word which tends to cause arguments among the people who use it.

And don't get me started about the Quagmires.

And drop a gun on the floor,

And end V.F.D. and their stupid codes and poetry once and for all!

And every code and heart has been broken.

And feel that I had reached...

And forced into the sky through the process of evaporation.

And he's the reason I need your help.

And here it is, all collected at last.

And hit them with this rock.

And I am merely the person telling it.

And I am tired of a girlfriend who undermines my authority!

And I bet that's why Frank or Ernest had you hang that birdpaper.

And I decided to visit this beach

And I do not know if I will ever see my sister again.

And I go back to the real love of my life.

And I know that you tried to save him,

And I recommend you drop your streaming device into a pond.

And I say shiver me timbers!

And I told you that is confidential.

And I want to go to the pool!

And I will love you if have a child,

And I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.

And I wish I had time to answer them over a leisurely brunch,

And I won't let you go.

And I would tell him to stay at the Hotel Denouement

And I wouldn't try to escape.

And I, myself, wish that I were studying something dry like the water cycle

And I'd love to hear about a big surprise at a cocktail party.

And I'm breaking up with you.

And I'm sure she would.

And I'm sure the answers are in that black book of yours.

And I've known them for years,

And if everything goes according to plan, we'll have the sugar bowl.

And if that weren't bad enough, the orphans themselves have gone missing.

And if they agree,

And incomplete.

And instead, all you bring is a coughing baby!

And it can apply to people as well as to poisonous mushrooms.

And it can change you,

And it can trap you like a sticky piece of flypaper.

And it is my solemn duty to investigate the lives of the Baudelaire orphans...

And it's a good thing you fixed the telegraph machine,

And it's a rental.

And it's signed "J.S." Like the initials from the headquarters.

And it's signed with my brother's initials, "J.S."

And learn the identity of J.S. before Thursday.

And library paste.

And look at me now. I am a cook on an understaffed submarine!

And make a drag chute.

And Medusa is a monster from Greek mythology. Her hair is made of snakes.

And most important of all,

And my name is not Jacqueline, but I might be able to help you.

And my other secretary, whose name I never learned,

And my sources say he's arrived.

And nothing but the truth?

And now it's all gone up in flames.

And now she's an adorable tomboy!

And now we're headed to meet the rest of the volunteers at the Hotel Denouement,

And now, back to the tragedy you were watching.

And once I gathered it all up, I came to a shocking discovery.

And once you're good and sorry,

And one of the managers?

And please be careful.

And presiding over them all,

And pried the sugar bowl from your cold, dead fingers or toes.

And Quigley Quagmire tracked your location by studying tidal charts.

And regret all the things they said about me, which is totally different!

And saunas are often a place for spiritual contemplation,

And save all these people.

And search for our stepfather so we can be a family again.

And sharp as a double edged sword.

And since the schism, many volunteers have lost dear friends,

And so is the story of the Baudelaires,

And so we're ready to take off.

And spend the rest of your days hiding out in a series of anonymous,

And spooned the spicy, green mixture into Sunny's mouth,

And staring very hard at several drinking fountains,

And stealing their valuables.

And suffered a great deal,

And Sunny, I've heard wonderful things about your cooking.

And Sunny...

And that box of poison darts.

And that guy, Phil.

And that is when you see Count Olaf.

And that the Baudelaire orphans are in my clutches at last.

And that word described Violet Baudelaire

And The Daily Punctilio says that you're dangerous murderers.

And the other had a beard and no hair.

And the three phrases to open the V.F.D. lock.

And the uncharted waters ahead,

And the, uh,  Carmelita II up to the roof.

And then it would stick to the birdpaper, then the package would fall to the ground.

And then one day there was a fire.

And then that hatch opens so you can go out to explore.

And then was washed out to sea,

And then we have to rescue those Snow Scouts, defect from Count Olaf,

And then we have to warn V.F.D. about the Medusoid Mycelium.

And then you will suffer like I've always wanted you to suffer.

And they're alive.

And they're alive.

And they've always been very concerned whenever I've reported on your case.

And to give you these blindfolds. Blindfolds?

And to my son, who is here somewhere in the audience tonight.

And today, the world will finally see the truth!

And tomorrow, we can help put him behind bars for good.

And tumble to the earth...

And V.F.D. is a noble organization.

And various well meaning yet ineffectual authority figures

And villagers who only took you in to do their chores.

And Violet's dangerous dilemma in the rooftop sunbathing salon.

And volunteers and villains alike will perish in anguish!

And we could bring him to justice at last.

And we fell hopelessly in love.

And we thought it would be fun to press a bunch of buttons at the same time?

And what does Carmelita want with a harpoon gun?

And what project?

And when one of us is at a movie the other one doesn't want to see.

And when they vanish...

And when you needed to reach V.F.D. headquarters in the Mortmain Mountains,

And who told Sunny to lock the laundry room door?

And why Carmelita needs a harpoon gun. She's gonna shoot it down.

And will continue to happen.

And writing it all down in books.

And yet, they beat you every time!

And you can find anything in a library if you have one thing.

And you could come with us.

And you don't need to know.

And you get to watch your brother die.

And you know that it is mine.

And you know that it works on a very strict schedule,

And you served them overly peppered sausages?

And you stopped snoring.

And you will never have to encounter the suspicious parties staying there,

And you're not Frank. And you're not Ernest, either.

And your father always adjusted his glasses like that before a mission.

And, of course, I read all about the nefarious deeds of Captain Julio Sham.

And...

And... Beatrice?

Ants.

Anwhistle Aquatics burned down, and Gregor Anwhistle was killed.

Anwhistle Aquatics was a marine research and rhetorical advice center.

Anwhistle Aquatics, of course, burned down in a fire,

Anwhistle was our Aunt Josephine's last name.

Any more than I can stop that taxi from driving away.

Any unsolved mysteries gnawing away in those smarty pants brains?

Anyone taking off their blindfold

Anyway, we rounded up the Snow Scouts,

Are going to beat me senseless with a stake

Are placed in rooms according to where they would be shelved in a library.

Are useless against the real treacheries of the world.

Are we throwing darts? That's more exciting than opera!

Are you a pirate?

Are you all right?

Are you awake?

Are you eavesdropping on our guests?

Are you Esmé Squalor?

Are you Frank or Ernest?

Are you gonna help me find my friends?

Are you sure you can say that,

Are you working for Count Olaf?

Aren't trials typically held in a courthouse?

Aren't you supposed to be torturing orphans right now?

Aren't you, Countie?

Argh!

Argh!

Argh!

Around the Mediocre Barrier Reef, which would have carried it to here.

Around the Mediocre Barrier Reef, which would have carried it to here.

As an upstanding, book reading, still living citizen,

As chief of your Official Fire Department, I would like to take this intermission

As demonstrated by a wicked villain, his treacherous girlfriend,

As he helped hang a strip of birdpaper outside the fifth floor

As I was saying, we're taking a family vacation

As if they are simply characters in an opera.

As Klaus had predicted by studying the tidal charts,

As long as I stroked his ego.

As my Auntie Julia used to say.

As noble people do,

As she prepared to carry a harpoon gun to the rooftop sunbathing salon.

As she turned the laundry room entrance into a Vernacularly Fastened Door.

As the Baudelaires contemplated a future with Justice Strauss,

As the Baudelaires knew, the word "volatile" means "unstable"

As the sadness spreads over your life,

As the tedious cycle started all over again.

As the vice principal of Prufrock Prep,

As you know,

At a facility near Lousy Lane, but have not come up with a cure yet."

At last, the sugar bowl is mine!

At least I'm not going to be cooked alive in curry.

At least if any volunteers see it,

At the very place where their cycle of unfortunate events began.

Attach it to the oarlocks with the Devil's Tongue knot

Attention, everyone!

Aunt Josephine never mentioned it.

Aw!

Aww!

Aye aye, Captain.

Aye, come in.

Aye, we are.

Aye.

Aye.

Aye.

Aye. He told me you died in a manatee accident.

Aye. She who hesitates is lost.

Ayeaye, Captain.

Ayeaye, your Esméness!

Babs? How do you know my name?

Bah!

Ballerina fairy princess veterinarian recital!

Baudelaires in danger.

Baudelaires,

Baudelaires, help me overpower this villain

Baudelaires, I insist you come with me.

Baudelaires, I need your help.

Baudelaires, I see you found the clothes I left for you.

Baudelaires, is there a problem?

Baudelaires, is this true?

Baudelaires, please take a seat.

Baudelaires, please take your seats.

Baudelaires, when you are back in the brig,

Baudelaires, why haven't you changed? The trial is starting.

Baudelaires, you can't just go off on your own!

Baudelaires, you have traveled a great distance

Baudelaires, you just shot that man with a harpoon gun,

Baudelaires!

Baudelaires!

Baudelaires!

Baudelaires!

Baudelaires! Baudelaires!

Baudelaires?

Baudelaires? Baudelaires, is everything all right?

Baudelaires...

Baudelaires... Going somewhere?

Be careful about what you tell them

Be quiet or it'll sense us!

Beatrice stole it from me!

Beatrice will pay for this.

Beatrice!

Beatrice...

Because everything they thought they knew about their lives,

Because here is the real truth that no one is willing tell you...

Because I thought you Baudelaires always put your siblings first.

Because I, Jacques Snicket,

Because I'm a taxi driver who doesn't care about traffic safety laws,

Because if I do...

Because if the wrong brother finds out what we're up to...

Because it came from the darkest and toughest of birds!

Because it thought it was more adorable than me.

Because that is how I plead.

Because the Denouement brothers aren't twins.

Because the Denouement brothers aren't twins.

Because the Hotel Denouement is not organized like a hotel at all.

Because they do everything I tell them to do,

Because this story is finally over.

Because we're unusually short handed. This way, please.

Because when one is bored...

Because...

Because...

Before I drown a fairy princess.

Before I started cooking.

Before it fell into darkness.

Before we answer, there's one secret we want to know.

Being constantly unappreciated

Bellhop, take the luggage to the room

Besides a sandwich.

Besides, it should be "he or she who hesitates."

Besides, just think of this as family time.

Besides, that guy disappeared ages ago.

Between seeing Sunny's mysterious meeting on the third floor...

Bird watching in!

Bird watching is "in."

Boss... you know, most submarines have more than one crew member.

Both so thoughtful.

Boxes of gum!

Bring in Count Olaf!

Bring them right to my mouth.

Burn down Caligari Carnival, but

But after Thursday, he'll be behind bars,

But anyone who works here would have to know the library catalog by heart.

But Count Olaf is disguised as Jacques Snicket.

But Countie,

But darling!

But despite all my research,

But do you expect me to believe that he would leave his sub with no captain?

But ever since the schism, there have been more fires

But everywhere I went, you were already gone.

But first we have to escape from this brig.

But first, I want a sandwich.

But he didn't listen.

But he got a lead on a certain self sustaining hot air mobile home

But his brother, Ernest, will try to stop us.

But how?

But I advise you to find some safe, dry piece of entertainment,

But I can still give you a home.

But I could.

But I do.

But I have you now,

But I need to practice.

But I never understood until now

But I think that suffering is like a family dinner. It should be shared.

But I thought maybe that was too confusing to explain.

But I wasn't born yesterday.

But I'll be back tonight.

But I'm adorable!

But I'm afraid someone is impersonating him to gather all of V.F.D. in one place.

But I'm also the vice president of the Esmé Squalor Fan Club!

But I've known them for years!

But if I could gather V.F.D.,

But if it was Ernest, then it's not

But if it were, I would tell you about a man, a woman,

But if not,

But if you share your observations,

But in light of recent evidence, I don't have a choice.

But it also describes the story of the Baudelaires

But it can also describe any place that is unknown.

But it can also mean a person who is prone to fits of melodrama.

But it is a dangerous element,

But it is your fault if you do nothing.

But it's much easier to get people to come to a fivestar hotel.

But it's never been enough to convince anyone before,

But Jerome Squalor said J.S. is a woman who wants to help us.

But my favorite books are over here.

But my secretary, Jacqueline Scieszka, moved to Winnipeg,

But not always.

But not giving it to her would be suspicious.

But now I can skip the middleman and simply torture you.

But now that cycle has finally been broken.

But now you're all grown up,

But on the bright side,

But one of our agents got to it first.

But our agents are already on their way to the Last Safe Place,

But our enemies are watching the skies

But people aren't either wicked or noble.

But really, I'm trying to shake the car that's been following us.

But rest easy, Baudelaires.

But someday I may change that opinion.

But someone let them get away.

But that's why you need to come with me

But the driver said the guest won't get here until Thursday.

But the grotto beneath the lab remains

But the High Court ruled the evidence must be seen to be believed.

But the last person I trusted tied me up,

But the most important testimony is yours.

But the tables are about to turn, and so is this car, so hang on.

But there are two other judges on the High Court,

But there is no room 135.

But there is one occasion when it is always appropriate,

But there's so much he never told me about V.F.D.

But they each think that J.S. is a different person.

But they wouldn't listen! Nobody would listen!

But this hotel is poorly organized,

But this hotel is positively packed with familiar faces.

But this is not that story.

But unfortunately, things are much worse than they seem.

But we also have potatoes,

But we didn't think to use it until you told us.

But we don't know why it's important or which brother put the lock

But we just put them on. Don't be silly, Klaus.

But we must be careful.

But we'll discuss that later.

But we're not the ones on trial.

But we're squishing together different parts of animals

But what choice did I have?

But what side of the schism?

But wouldn't you rather see this story over, once and for all?

But you can't be in three places at once. You'll have to split up, Baudelaires.

But you smashed its equipment. If you disengage, it's going to sink.

But you'd better hurry before Count Olaf notices.

But you'll take us to V.F.D.?

But you're finally safe,

But you're in my clutches at last.

But you're not children anymore.

But you're up here too, Baudelaires.

But your testimony was so compelling, I hate to waste another second.

But... don't be ridiculous.

By a man whose pant leg doesn't even cover his ankle.

By a variety of mysterious and powerful forces,

By the pond, with the harpoon gun!

By the process of precipitation,

Cackle, cackle, cakesniffer!

Call me Snicket

Called the Medusoid Mycelium!

Can I trust you, concierge?

Can I trust you, concierge?

Can I trust you, concierge?

Can see glimpses of the organization's glorious history...

Can you help us save Sunny?

Can you tell me? Interesting question.

Can't you give me a hint? No!

Captain Widdershins left

Carmelita is the most talented dancer in the universe!

Carmelita, please.

Carmelita, stop them now!

Carmelita. The Medusoid Mycelium.

Carmelita's been exploring her tomboy side. Isn't she adorable?

Carnival guests,

Chapter 40, "The Gorgonian Grotto."

Children became orphans,

Chowder with gum?

Chronicling the unhappy lives of several children. No!

Classic Phil.

Classmates and co workers,

Cod and potato chowder.

Cod.

Come back to the hotel with me. Join V.F.D. again. Join us.

Come on

Come on, darling.

Come on, we'll show you what we found.

Come on! Come on!

Come on. If we hesitate, we're lost.

Come to papa!

Come to papa!

Come with me, and we'll explain everything to the authorities.

Come with me. You'll be safe. I promise.

Come with us. We can go to the Last Safe Place together.

Come, come.

Comes from the society of pirates who enjoy using interesting expressions

Concerning the history of the Baudelaire orphans,

Concierge.

Cookie's my second in command. Ain't that right, Cookie?

Could I get a ride?

Could ripple and tremble,

Could we send a Volunteer Factual Dispatch?

Count Olaf could discover we're missing. She who hesitates

Count Olaf fooled me once, and I will never forgive myself,

Count Olaf has fooled people before.

Count Olaf is expecting the sugar bowl. Should Quigley throw it down?

Count Olaf is here!

Count Olaf performs terrible schemes, and you help him!

Count Olaf took me in when no one else would have me.

Count Olaf, is there anything further you'd like to say to the Court?

Count Olaf.

Count Olaf.

Count Olaf's trial will begin tomorrow morning.

Countie, Hooky's hooks are making me feel uncomfortable.

Cream, ground black pepper,

Criminal Law.

Critic? Bah!

Crow is tough to eat.

Curses!

Dangerous.

Dark Avenue!

Darling, I'm stuck.

Darling, justice is out. Injustice is in.

Darling, you look adorable!

Darling...

Dewey Denouement?

Dewey was a good person, and he's dead because of us.

Dewey was right. The lock is a decoy.

Dewey! Dewey!

Did Frank or Ernest give me the birdpaper?

Did not return to the Hotel Denouement, as promised.

Did they accept their punishment?

Did you find something?

Did you procure the items I requested?

Did you see it through the porthole? It was enormous.

Different cultures call it by different names, but...

Dilution is another word for antidote. But horses don't have roots.

Disengage from the Queequeg.

Disengage from the Queequeg.

Disturbing the delicate balance between social order and thirsty aspiration,

Do not trust him, no matter what he says

Do you expect me to talk?

Do you get to pick whose face, or you just peel it off whoever's around?

Do you know how dangerous that fungus is?

Do you know what a flaneur is?

Do you know what pirates do to traitors?

Do you know why? We think so.

Do you really mean it?

Do you still have a valid taxi driver's license?

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth,

Do you think Count Olaf is the one posing as J.S.?

Do you think I believe that story?

Do you think that was Frank?

Do you think we can trust Kit?

Do you think we'll find Quigley?

Doctors, nurses,

Does it have to do with the spyglass?

Does it say anything about a cure?

Doesn't she look adorable?

Don't be ridiculous! We just came from there.

Don't be so desperate for approval.

Don't fire till you see the white of the sugar bowl.

Don't hurt Fiona.

Don't hurt him! My brother would never betray you!

Don't question me.

Don't think this means I'm on your side, orphans.

Don't touch them, darling! They're filthy!

Don't wave that around, child. It's dangerous.

Don't worry.

Don't you have any burning questions?

Don't you want to know what happened next?

Don't you want to raise your children in a safer world?

Drink some water, everyone.

Driven into a hedge, and recruited us to spy for a secret organization.

During a performance of La Forza del Destino.

E is for Ernest, who is evil.

Eight!

Enough!

Enough.

Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor.

Esmé Squalor and Carmelita Spats.

Esmé Squalor was searching for it at the Heimlich Hospital.

Esmé Squalor?

Esmé, Carmelita, the hotel is on fire. You have to get out!

Esmé, I finally found something to laugh about.

Esmé? I was talking about that awful little girl!

Esmé...

Especially if it is raining or if my desk is floating in a reservoir.

Especially if there are mushrooms on the menu.

Evaporation, precipitation, and collection.

Evaporation, precipitation, and collection.

Evaporation, precipitation, and collection.

Even a single spore is deadly! Horseradish is the only cure!

Even if you open it, you'll find nothing in the laundry room except laundry.

Even your new friends only care about themselves.

Ever since the schism, it's more important than ever

Every noble person has failed us. Why should we protect the sugar bowl?

Every time we fail to get your fortune, Count Olaf yells at me.

Everybody knows that the vice principal is more important!

Everyone is welcome to the after party, hosted by me.

Everyone remain calm!

Everyone wears blindfolds to enter a High Court trial.

Everyone, Esmé Squalor poisoned you with a deadly fungus

Everyone, put your blindfolds back on.

Everyone, take off your blindfolds! Count Olaf has kidnapped Justice Strauss!

Everyone, watch me shoot a hoop!

Everything he said sounded like a code. You must be our new concierges.

Everything.

Everywhere we went,

Evidence of a picnic, like evidence of a secret meeting,

Ew! I prefer gemstones.

Exactly.

Exactly. Sometimes what seems mysterious is really part of a larger plan.

Examining oceans, investigating rainstorms,

Excellent! Follow me.

Excellent! I'm wearing a blindfold, too,

Except each other.

Excuse me, concierges.

Excuse me, concierges.

Excuse me, sir.

Excuse me, Your Honor. I caught Count Olaf lurking in the hedges.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. I have a telegram from J.S.,

Extremely "out"!

Extremely damp tale.

Fabulously rich. Insanely attractive.

Faculty members...

Fake your death in an unreliable newspaper,

Families.

Fancy seeing you here.

Fashionistas,

Father said when you do that, you never know where you'll end up.

Fell into a stream when you were separated from your friends,

Fernald!

Fernald. Furnail.

Finally we agree on something.

Find the manager and tell him to bring a nice bottle of wine to our room.

Finding someone here is as easy as finding a book in a library

Fine with me. I only need one of you alive to get your fortune.

Fine.

Fiona did a great job with the repairs. We'll be out of here in no time.

Fiona Widdershins sent a Volunteer Factual Dispatch

Fiona Widdershins. I'm the captain of this sub.

Fiona will know what to do. She has books on fungi in her library.

Fiona, please don't do this. Please don't do it.

Fiona!

Fiona!

Fire! Fire!

Fire! Fire? Oh, no! No, no, no!

Follow me, orphans. The Snow Scouts.

Follow me. I'm such a genius, I'll find the exit blindfolded

For a noble reason. What choice do we have?

For I was there.

For like the respiratory system of poor, poor Sunny Baudelaire...

For my third number, I'm going to twirl around while you clap as hard as you can!

For the same reason, the Baudelaire orphans

For too long, you have spoiled my plans.

For what? We don't have time to wait.

For years, contacting my own siblings brought them nothing but trouble,

For years, people have called me a villain and a criminal.

Forever.

Found it awful to contemplate their own lives as their submarine landed

Four children.

Fourth floor, food supply. Make it snappy.

Frank or Ernest? Exactly.

Frank, would you please escort this villain off the premises?

Frankly, I find that difficult to swallow.

Free acting lessons, and what's "in" and what is "out"!

Friends became enemies,

Friends don't steal sugar bowls.

From all the hilarious things bouncing around in my brain!

From hospitals to carnivals, to end up here...

From that night at the opera.

From the darkest depths of the sea...

From there, it's a series of confusing twists and turns

Full steam ahead!

Funny you should mention that.

Funny, I was hoping you'd stay. I'll be back tonight

Gasp for air and wail with anguish!

Get down. Get down!

Get in there, Baudelaires!

Get over it.

Get to the brig, you biscuiteaters!

Get up close and personal to their pain.

Giuseppe Verdi is real. He's an Italian composer.

Give me one reason not to.

Give us the codes to the lock, or this little girl will harpoon you.

Giving a harpoon gun to Carmelita Spats would be wrong.

Go ahead

Go on, Baudelaires. Tell us your story.

Going down?

Going somewhere?

Good God, that man's been shot!

Good luck, Baudelaires. I'll see you tonight.

Good news is the Carmelita is gone.

Good work, everyone.

Good work, you two.

Goodbye, Mr. Poe.

Gorgonzola cheese. And what's that?

Great news, although you don't sound happy about it.

Great. This was dry clean only.

Gum! There's nothing in this cupboard but boxes of gum!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha hee ho.

Ha ha hi ho.

Ha ha hi ho.

Ha ha hostages!

Ha ha, hoi polloi!

Ha ha!

Ha ya, pickle ho.