It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005) - Season 15 Edit

A a new dad?

A back strengthening exercise for me.

A banshee.

A big bang.

A breath mint 'cause your mouth smells

A brother? That's weird.

A Catholic priest!

A cautionary tale.

A couple of our original songs,

A custom made mask.

A gruesome woman

A Kelly always forgives.

A lingonberry seed or something?

A little bit more Pepper Jack.

A little fanfare for the the loan.

A little more...

A little of the old luck of the Irish.

A monkey could do Dee's job.

A monkey could.

A nice gift for you. Uh, Shelley, you go first.

A pen pal that writes to you in a magical language.

A predecessor to the glory hole, perhaps.

A prostitute for his sex scene.

A selfie, huh? You got it.

A shamrock tattooed on my thigh.

A speaking role.

A token of our appreciation, and, uh... from the pub.

A wonderful woman.

A young man named Shelley Kelly. Is he around?

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Get off me! Get off me!

About an hour ago, some guy approached me,

About his lungs being filled with fluid?

About sexual things with manatees.

About the hot Irish doctor who has a fling

About the, uh, percentage shares of the bar for a second?

About who I am and where I come from.

About your identity even more. I can't believe it.

About, like, what votes were supposed to be counted

Abso... Yeah. Tot... I mean, yeah. (STAMMERS) Whatever.

Absolutely, Smokey. I mean, look, uh,

Abused wife! Is it Abused Wife Number One?

Acting is...

Actually, let's just keep moving on

Actually, while I got you here, pal, can I ask you a question?

After I popped off.

Against the law, really, like this.

Ah, Charlie, it's good to forgive.

Ah, Frank's right. I'm glad you're dead.

Ah, thank God, okay.

Ah, that's a stereotype. Yeah.

Ah, welcome, welcome. Come in, come in.

Ah, yes, their spirits watch over us. The men, that is.

Ah! Ow.

Ah.

Ah. Yeah. It enhances my performance

All bets are off, okay?

All Kelly men must be thrown from a cliff into the sea.

All of those things are made up, including Shelley.

All of us crammed in one wool infested room...

All of us, please.

All right, all right, goodbye!

All right, all right, we got to think about this. All right,

All right, be cool. Just play it cool, man.

All right, come on, let's go. Keep it clean.

All right, Dee, remember yesterday when you were waving

All right, fine. We'll slide the man up the hill, just this part.

All right, fine. What about Harrisburg? Williamsport?

All right, Frank, if that's how you feel,

All right, guys, listen.

All right, here we go...

All right, here's what we're gonna do.

All right, I don't think you understand.

All right, I'm sorry, let me... try to make sense of this.

All right, let me explain what happened here, all right?

All right, let's get a quick break.

All right, let's go find out.

All right, listen, listen, guys. Yes, fine.

All right, look, we brought you this. We made it ourselves,

All right, look, you're officially fired.

All right, now, you kids have a lot of fun, all right?

All right, one spritzer for Mac, please, Frank.

All right, so you invite them to a classy dinner.

All right, th this is just gonna be much better,

All right, um,

All right, well, don't yell at her... she's unconscious.

All right, well, look on the bright side, Mac.

All right, well, Mom got around.

All right, you got me. Okay?

All right, you know what, guy? Here's what I'm feeling.

All right, you're Irish, Mac.

All right? If a man wants to stand, he doesn't go,

All right? Look, it's a Kelly family burial tradition.

All right? That that that monkey may have been a pervert,

All right? You know what? I'm out of here.

All right.

All right.

All right. This is why Irish people hate Americans.

All right. This is why Irish people hate Americans.

All states have more than one city.

All the best villains in the Bible were acts of God.

All the way up under her nose.

All these family tree books...

All these things we're talking about,

All those cities are in Pennsylvania?

All those previous loans, uh, we would like to talk to you

All... all what sheep?

Also done multiple insensitive characters in the past,

Also got very sexual.

Also, I need another bucket. I'm out of paint here.

Although we were running out of material.

Altoona? You know...

Always accusing me of having affairs.

Always puts things right with the men in his life.

Always with you.

Am I Dutch?!

Am I Irish?

Am I now? Oh, gosh. Well,

Am I sinking?

Am I to believe that you're a natural redhead

An all new season.

An exploration, not of what is gained by learning,

An extra.

An international country teen pop sensation.

And a lot more available time.

And all all I had to do was...

And also, dude, I'm gonna say this as your friend

And and and I don't want to describe what I saw.

And and I don't want to be around it,

And and I would actually argue that

And and rats love cheese,

And and then we can carry it up, no problem!

And and you never put me past you to the director.

And are these legitimate votes, are these not legitimate votes?

And are you gonna try and tell me that was just all for nothing?

And beheading people... well, that that was just

And being your typical vanilla white guy are slim to none.

And believe me, it was messy.

And bragging about that acting gig that you got?

And bring in whichever man we want.

And by the way, that's a celebrity listing.

And charge it to our individual rooms.

And Daddy's got a very important meeting to go to.

And for the special guest,

And for what it's worth,

And forget what your identity has to do with it.

And get into our own slippery state?

And guess what. I leave tomorrow morning

And hand complete creative control

And have serious daddy issues, so that helps.

And he couldn't really breathe, and then they tried to get him

And he made us look like assholes.

And he needs it for an important meeting, so...

And he saved himself but no women,

And he's Irish, that's why his name is Shelley.

And his roommate/surrogate adult son,

And his son William, also the plague.

And I bet you could get me out.

And I can have you canceled for even suggesting otherwise.

And I don't want to hurt their self esteem,

And I have one chance tonight to have a good time in Ireland,

And I I I feel awful about it now.

And I I I have a date tonight

And I live in this neighborhood, and I am sure that you do not.

And I must admit, I'm happy for myself, too.

And I needed you!

And I say that Sly takes us to the playoffs.

And I think I deserve praise for that, do I not?

And I think it's a great idea.

And I think it's obvious what that right thing is.

And I think that's what you're saying.

And I went in the back to do some light reading.

And I will never, never

And I will tell them you attacked me.

And I won't do that.

And I'd like to shoot before she gets back.

And I'd love a cup of coffee... Two creams, please?

And I'm gonna work in my dad's shop with him,

And I'm probably gonna marry Scott Wolf.

And I'm sorry, there will be no return on investments,

And I'm starting to think that my dad's a bad man.

And I've always wondered, like, is that a genetic thing?

And I've been in character all day.

And if if an Italian wants to eat a sandwich,

And if it's a guy, I got a football ready for him.

And if you don't leave right now, I will call the police,

And if you don't like it, you can suck

And if you're not talking, you're not getting paid.

And immediately did something about it.

And impresses my colleague,

And instead of looking for pieces of ass,

And intensity are are good, you know?

And it fully takes advantage of the castle.

And it goes inside your body?

And it makes me sick to my stomach,

And it really wasn't that funny, so...

And it's the foundation of your structural essence.

And just sucking in diesel fumes.

And just, like, saving the quarters and shit,

And Mac's a terrible drug dealer,

And made me Dutch to smite me for the urges that He gave me

And maybe this is, like, your half brother.

And Michael Kelly.

And misdeeds

And more interested in what makes you tick.

And my mouth is made for American words naturally...

And no matter how strong those urges get,

And not all of the bros have been spritzed.

And now he's got to deal with COVID on top of everything else?

And now I'm Dutch.

And now it's all starting to make sense, right?

And our mutual disdain for insider Beltway politics.

And Pepper Jack's pullout game is strong.

And perhaps the most important thing, is payment.

And possibly fucked our mouths.

And ring the goddamn bell, you bitch!

And Shelley! Shelley's here, which is pretty cool.

And shut the hell up about it.

And somewhat dull,

And still you have the nerve to ask for more money?

And stink up the whole castle.

And taking a bunch of pauses. I don't know what's going on.

And talent of one of the best actors of our generation.

And thank you all so much for joining my acting class.

And that all the people who showed up

And that is that all the people of color that we know

And that it was gonna be the only thing you talked about,

And that was the moment I knew it was coming to an end.

And that's it. End of transaction.

And that's the end of it.

And that's the scene.

And that's what I want, that's what I'm going for.

And that's when I noticed it.

And that's why I've always been the talker.

And the paranoia. That was the worst.

And the place

And the the guy with the whip and the hat, he was cool.

And the... and the bleach, and the...

And then gave you just enough sleeping pills

And then I I made my way over to Moorpark.

And then I redeleted the black square.

And then I tackied all the way over to Laurel Canyon. Ticky.

And then I took that down to "Ta ca ha" Cucamonga.

And then swallow it.

And then we'll have sandwiches...

And then we'll put that destination

And then we'll talk later.

And then you lure him over

And then, that'll that'll lighten the load?

And then, them doing it?

And then, uh, get the cracker,

And then, um, maybe I'll introduce myself, too?

And then, we can get what we want.

And there's too many of 'em.

And they never judge their customers.

And they will be strong,

And this little lass over there

And this poor bastard was in the eye of the shitstorm.

And throw him in the water?

And to top it off, my guy didn't win the election.

And to unleash it

And wake up here in Dublin fully rested.

And we are very interested in modern amenities, please.

And we carry it in pieces, right? Or or melt it somehow.

And we carry our country with us wherever we go!

And we dump out whatever liquid is probably in that body bag,

And we got to find, like, diverse voices that don't...

And we have a role that...

And we have to do the right thing.

And we'll never, ever leave each other alone

And what I think used to be a moat.

And what the business has been up to for the past year.

And what things were happening.

And what votes aren't gonna be counted.

And what's with all the directions?

And who could blame them?

And why is your head still on? Did they reattach it?

And yet there's no odor?

And you can't have that around here.

And you couldn't take his coat if you tried, dude,

And you get it up the goddamn hill by yourself, 'cause I'm out.

And you got to look phat if you're selling weed.

And you guys want to go to the second best city

And you know how these things go.

And you think you know more about Ireland than me?

And you were hallucinating.

And you'll be working at a roller rink.

And you're distracting me.

And you're going to make it.

And you're not even repping Philly, dude.

And you're so funny.

And, based on what I saw, and this conversation,

And, for Christ's sake, ignore the script, okay?

And, like, I kind of can't find the Luther McDonalds anywhere.

And, of course, you know, if you do slip up,

And, uh, everybody

And, uh, I set up a cot for you there.

And, uh, what were you exporting?

And... we can drink more monkey beer.

ANNA: Yes, Daddy! (MOANING)

ANNOUNCER: Let's give it up for the Sweet Dee Skaters.

Any group of people as villains these days

Any questions?

Anyway, it was obvious that the integrity

Anyway, we made the stupid masks,

Apparently it's been in my family for generations.

Ar Are you jotting any of this down?

Are going to be reading for this role.

Are people of the bridges and the streets, okay?

Are talking about what you identify as

Are the meatballs turds?

Are you gonna brush your teeth in a stream or something?

Are you gonna get rid of the tattoo?

Are you kidding me? Like, you don't want to know...

Are you motherfuckers kidding me?

Are you okay, hon?

Are you seeing that? What is that?

Are you sick of being jerked around by the fat cats

Are you still talking to the castle?!

Are you stuck in there?

Are you twisting my words?

Are you... Are you saying you want Sly Stallone

As a matter of fact, don't want to brag,

As a roller rink, but, uh...

As am I, apparently.

As an out of work bouncer, I was looking to pursue

As choking out a jabroni and leaving him out in the street.

As much as we possibly can to protect people.

As terrible hags and banshees

As the child abandoning monster that he really is.

As they were violent sexual crimes.

As they're presumed to be witches.

As well as providing people with an opportunity

Asking someone to do something?

Assaulted us,

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: Can we get cracking here, people, come on!

At 6:30 a.m. on a first class flight

At least now he understands why we called the business

At some point, you know what I mean?

At the Capitol riots?

At the castle, and you weren't there,

At the end of next year, so, like,

At the place where we were gonna meet the customer.

At this address...

At whatever volume we identify with!

Attention, everyone.

Aw, man!

Aw, man. Thanks, you guys.

Aw, Sweet Dee. So pure of heart. You know?

Aw, that's gonna be a whole thing.

Baltimore?

Bam. Check that one out.

Based on my hangover, I think

Bat!

Be like lighting a match. That works.

Beats me.

Became a loon himself.

Because Dee was, well, she was terrible.

Because Dennis was smelling somebody's hair.

Because Hollywood has a very clear moral code

Because I don't want to see your genitalia.

Because I have been listening to you for long enough.

Because I really do want to come up

Because I'm a gay man and you're

Because I'm an Italian."

Because of insensitivity.

Because that is the American way!

Because they're addicted to the drugs.

Because varmints definitely played, like, a key role in it.

Because we love her! And when you love someone,

Because we would get kicked out of the Church.

Because you better goddamn believe they're ignoring you.

Because you did blackface in the sequel.

Because you're not Forrest Gump!

Because, well, we're both essential workers at the bar.

Become much more charming now that I've

Been ruined by tiny cars, castle beds and...

Beers were so delicious.

Before Brian Security gets here.

Before the asshole. (CHUCKLES)

Body slam!

Boom! Blammo!

Brace yourselves.

Breathe in the arousing aromas

Breathe your stewy breath in her face?

Briana, no more gum.

Bringing a woman of color to spice things up.

Bros before hoes, guys.

Bros before hoes.

Bros before hoes. Come on.

Brother Thomas, I'd like you to meet someone.

Bullshit.

Business.

But assess the situation.

But Charlie is right, though. Like, we have to have

But don't you worry.

But either way, look, the point is,

But he was also a genius, which is often the case in Hollywood.

But he was really into the manatees.

But I can't imagine my life any other way. [CHUCKLES]

But I feel like the stew... No, see?

But I might have to get a couple soda pops in first,

But I took that all the way down to Moorpark.

But I want you to know I'm always,

But I'm even more sorry that we left you behind!

But I'm me now, so you can tell me how good I was.

But I'm sure, by the end of the evening,

But I've been in character all week.

But if we can incorporate

But if you think about it, you know, in a way,

But it was in the fine print. Have a wonderful afternoon.

But it's got to be under a towel or a blanket

But it's the right thing to do,

But no eye contact

But not because I don't think it's awesome.

But now that I'm gay first, and that's my identity,

But of what is lost

But only for the snorkeling!

But perhaps we could talk at a more appropriate time.

But she died.

But Shelley's really opened my eyes to a whole new world.

But somehow it's been even worse! You're talking

But that said, I mean, you know, it's got potential.

But that's between him and me.

But the address you gave me was wrong,

But the most important thing

But the next challenge was marketing them.

But then I decided, you know what?

But then you put a a turd in your mouth. I mean, my God.

But then, we'll go back to carrying him!

But there are other solutions to this problem, okay?

But there's a bunch of kids down there.

But to each his own.

But we do it with each other.

But we were, too. I mean, people have been dragging

But we're also here for our vacation.

But when you get back to Philly,

But when you surround yourself with people

But yes.

But you are not in America!

But you can speak and read an entirely different language?

But you're the only one who didn't get vaccinated.

But your heart's in the right place.

But, either way, could you p... just give me a big tug,

But, no, I'm just saying, like...

But, see, my angle is, mine are funny.

But, uh, I'd like to join you.

But, uh, our path,

But, um, a peculiar scent

But, um, he won't really mind us saying that because he's dead.

But, you know, her vulgar language was rubbing off on me,

But, you know, it's authentic and,

But...

By saying that I think what we should do

By staying ignorant.

Can be seen and enjoyed by audiences

Can can can we just talk about the elephant in the room?

Can can he walk? Does he drool, or...

Can I admit something?

Can we at least make sure she's competent?

Can we be a little bit more sophisticated than that?

Can we just keep this light, you know?

Can we please not make dropping my dad a thing? Right?

Can you please at least do the dishes?

Can you, can you just stop talking

Candy, get the butter!

Capitalize on our many various interests.

Cash or card?

Chain saw, avocado, marlin. What'd I just say? You.

Charlie picked Shelley.

Charlie realizes I'm still useful, uh, you know,

Charlie, can you tighten the axle nuts on these?

Charlie, I'm just glad that you're sitting here now.

Charlie, order me a wine spritzer, please.

Charlie, you hungry? You want a snack?

Charlie, you're full of scratches.

CHARLIE: All right, try to get it

CHARLIE: All right, you know what, Frank, give her some stew.

CHARLIE: And let it waft up in.

CHARLIE: Get the stew right up

CHARLIE: It's not soup, it's stew, okay, and you...

CHARLIE: No, no, no, no.

CHARLIE: So we were stressed out.

CHARLIE: We bubbled together during the pandemic

CHARLIE: What if we let off some fireworks in here, huh?

CHARLIE: Wow.

CHARLIE: Yeah, uh huh, and these guys were out of state, right,

CHARLIE: Yeah, uh...

CHARLIE: Yeah, well, you see,

CHARLIE: Yeah, yeah, but it's not really confusing, you know,

Charlie!

Charlie?

Charlie's got a new dad.

Charlie's got to see him lose his cool,

Cheadle... Uh, Donovan McNabb...

Check this out, did you guys know that, uh,

Checks,

Chew it up.

Chinese motor oil.

Coins, cash,

Come here, come here. Listen, if I may be so bold,

Come on, let's get this stuff out of here.

Come on, let's go in before the pill kicks in.

Come on, man! Look, I'm just trying to get him

Come on, man! No, I I I've been coming here for years,

Come on, man! Okay, okay, okay, it's fine!

Coming through, coming through.

Coming.

Comparable to my thing?

Competent?

Continue.

Cool, so your dad grew up in a McDonald's or...?

Cool? Charlie, in 20 years,

Cool.

Cool. How's a windmill gonna help us?

Could be entitled to a lot of money.

Could go toe to toe with Ivan Drago for 15 rounds?

Could it be maybe the banshee curse? Does it have

Could've been another rib situation.

Cover up the passageway.

Covered in filth

Covering up blunt force trauma, so...

COVID?! But so so the poor guy's dying from a banshee curse,

CROWD (CHANTING): Stop the count! Stop the count!

Cut the shit. Get me out of here.

Dad's name is Luther Vandross?

Damn it, guys. I really wanted this to work.

Damn straight it is, Charlie.

Dangerous for Americans like you.

DEE [DISTANT]: Help!

Dee has never made a beer that tastes like that.

Dee Reynolds Acting School is officially closed.

Dee, can you please be grateful about this experience?

Dee, don't get mad at me, okay?

Dee, I can't breathe. I need to go to the hospital.

Dee, I haven't even begun to do half the things

Dee, just go to bed!

Dee, we're taking time

Dee, you bitch. I don't have COVID.

DEE: It took us three hours, but we finally arrived

DEE: Oh, you're gonna want to F this so bad!

DEE: The pelts that Charlie's referring to,

DEE: The world needed masks, and once our loan came in,

DEE: Uh, they all seemed pretty amped up.

DEE: You know, I'm just so glad you're feeling better,

Dee's nuts.

Dennis got me all worked up about my neck.

Dennis, I really am.

DENNIS: All right, well, now that we all know that we see eye to eye,

DENNIS: Anyway, the point is,

DENNIS: Are you kidding me? I love Joni Mitchell.

DENNIS: But my rational thinking and my desire

DENNIS: Come on, Dee.

DENNIS: Didn't put any goddamn meatballs in that soup.

DENNIS: Fireworks in the bar?

DENNIS: Guys, hey, guys, guys.

DENNIS: I mean, you know,

DENNIS: I was learning.

DENNIS: It has to be tonight?

DENNIS: It's not gonna wake her up; I mean,

DENNIS: Oh, also they're riddled with insecurity

DENNIS: Oh, she's starting to wake up.

DENNIS: Oh, yeah.

DENNIS: Okay, listen, Frank,

DENNIS: Simply regurgitating back to them

DENNIS: Soup or stew, you shouldn't feed it

DENNIS: Suffice to say, our arguing

DENNIS: The young generation

DENNIS: Um, so, hey, listen, um,

DENNIS: Well, gentlemen, this driving experience has

DENNIS: What the hell is this, Frank?

DENNIS: Yeah, Dee, look, you got to embrace this.

DENNIS: Yeah.

DENNIS: You know, as we all know, guys,

Dennis!

Dennis? [SPUTTERS] Dane?

Dennis? What are you doing?

Diana? Denise?

Did not help the situation.

Did redistribute down into my, my eye area.

Did say something like this could happen.

Did you feel how he went from, like, a hot stud

Did you give him COVID, Dennis?

Did you use the murder hole?

Did you want me to rent a big obnoxious American truck

Didn't even look at the magazines.

Died from a banshee curse, you know this.

Digging that face paint. Very festive.

Discover that a team of primates could do our jobs for us, but...

Disgusted at the looseness of my sister's neck, covered in stew,

Divided it into five coach tickets.

Do it, bitch!

Do not be here when I get back.

Do not even care 'cause guess what, dick nips.

Do not have sex with my brother, Mac.

Do the woke thing,

Do you have a shamrock tattoo somewhere on your body? No.

Do you have any information on Dad or our heritage?

Do you have your giant windmill in your bag?

Do you know a fella in this town,

Do you mind if I go sample some of your jellies?

Do you mind if I go sample some of your jellies?

Do you think you might have COVID, dude?

Do you two know each other?

Do you want to collide with an oncoming car?!

Doesn't doesn't quite have the same pageantry

Don't ask questions.

Don't be shy.

Don't bring your mother into this.

Don't don't point that thing at me.

Don't even think of coming back because we're finished.

Don't forget to leave your cellular telephone on.

Don't let Smokey see you with that.

Don't worry about it, Dee. Come on.

Don't you agree with what I was just saying, though?

Don't you dare get another shamrock tattoo,

Download 'em, put 'em into a manatee.

Dragged from my castle to a dingy hospital

Dude, are you sick?

Dude, I found one right here in this gibberish book.

Dude, I think you need a ventilator.

Dude, Mac, I think you got bit in the neck, man.

Dude, that was so stupid.

Dude, the guy's real, okay? And this is why

Dude, wait a second.

During the presidential election?

Dutch first, then gay, then problem solver.

E Everybody grab a napkin there, okay?

Eat it while it's hot. It's, uh,

Eat up before they get cold.

Eat up. Yeah. [STAMMERS]

Eh, you know what? Don't care.

Eh?

Either way,

Either way, Father, what I have decided is that

Either way, then God made the Ark of the Covenant

Equal just doesn't totally make sense.

Even better. That's where the awards are.

Even the beer here sucks.

Eventually, we're gonna need an actual person

Every Kelly saw a banshee right before he died.

Everybody wants to pave paradise and put up a parking lot.

Everybody's gonna have a beeper. Mark my words.

Everybody's making those masks.

Everyone was confused about where things were happening

Everything you want to know about vampires,

Ew.

Ew.

Ew. Gross.

Exactly what they're saying to each other

Exactly.

Exactly. What we need is a revolution.

Exactly. What we need is a revolution.

Except for the kids, thus the shredding.

Except, instead of for sex,

Excuse my sister, she's, uh, not very good at talking.

F Five, yeah, sure.

Fall in love, get in a relationship

Feel the burn!

Fine. Personally, I don't understand it,

Finger on the pulse, finger on the puss.

Fingers crossed it works.

Fire. [CHUCKLES]

Firework. Almost got you, pal.

Follow me here for a second...

Food, vape pens, pens in general, scissors.

Football players that Canada ever produced.

For a legitimate business.

For a sense of community during the pandemic.

For an open dialogue were a dead giveaway.

For costumes from one group.

For fictitious businesses that have gone bankrupt,

For how this is all gonna go down.

For like minded older men yearning

For loose change. You think that's

For me to have a little real stuff.

For our budding musical interests

For reasons we would find out

For starters...

For the first time in a long time,

For the rest of your life.

For the voting count delays in the presidential election?

For thousands of years, and it's really important to me

For what it's worth, I'm sorry I'm not your real dad.

For you, nobody does "psych" anymore. It's kind of dumb.

Forget this dude. He was a deadbeat, right?

Fortunately, my favorite bookstore never closes,

Frank killed your dad.

Frank, can I please have a white wine spritzer?

Frank, can you please stop?

Frank, do you have a tent in that bag?

Frank, his name is Shelley, okay? You know this.

Frank, I'm worried about you, man.

Frank, we're not inside your head, man.

FRANK: [COUGHS] It was a bad one.

FRANK: Everybody was on the island that weekend.

FRANK: Gary.

FRANK: Here, give me give me stew.

FRANK: I was going hard.

FRANK: I was sick of staying inside.

FRANK: Look, she's not gonna eat it, I'm telling you.

FRANK: Mmm. I know what it is.

FRANK: Then one day, this guy comes in.

FRANK: Ugh. That's a miss.

Frank! What the hell was that?!

Frankenstein in the house.

Free. This is censorship. That's what it is.

From a professional would do the trick.

From a sex island, it's... I'm not gonna explain it

From a... an engineering perspective.

From being tweeted into oblivion.

From being your MILF.

From moment to moment, you know, just a tiny, tiny bit, okay?

From one Hollywood creep to the next,

From the machines and my paycheck

From there, I sort of wiggled down to Tujunga,

From this godforsaken rock,

Funny thing about the spotlight, though,

G Grand, as you say.

G'day. How you going?

Gary, we saw 2020 as a year to, um, well, I don't know,

Gay adult men,

GEOFFREY: But were they?

Get fucked!

Get out of my way, bitch! Leave me alone!

Get out, you bastards!

Get the pelts, you bitch!

Getting drunk and pulling scams.

Gimme him.

Give your daddy a kiss.

Go on, just go on. Be back in an hour.

Go on.

Go spit it out. Gum is the enemy.

Go where?! Purple? That's not a place!

Go, have your fun,

Go. We don't even need you. We were probably gonna throw you

Go. What do you want to know?

Goddamn feminists ruin everything.

Goddamn it, no! You listen to me.

Goddamn it!

Goddamn it!

Goddamn it! This is exactly what I was worried about.

Goddamn it. [WHIMPERS]

Goddamn it. Frank, you tell them what it is.

Goddamn it. Where's the stupid bell tower?

Goddamn, that's what I want. I want to be able

Goddamn, you guys.

Goddamn! Goddamn! My essence has...

Goddamn. I hate this godforsaken country!

Goes by the name of Shelley Kelly?

Going in and out of Pittsburgh throughout the day, yes or no?

Going someplace outside of Pennsylvania?

Good day to you.

Good day, former partner. Sorry I'm late.

Good night, Charlie.

Good night, Charlie.

Good night, Frank.

Good old fashioned racism.

Good, because I'm getting sick of trying to keep

Good.

Good. Now you go.

Got it?

Got to be hot enough to be annoying as shit, right?

Got to jam butter up his costar's orifice

Got to look right when you're in Ireland.

Grab a meatball, scoop it out.

Grand! I am so happy for you.

Great, wonderful. Okay, well, let's get started.

Great.

GUS: So, Mac,

GUS: Well, Mac, this is it.

Gus?

Gus? Yeah, I ain't falling in love with Gus.

Guys, check this out.

Guys, guys, listen, listen.

Guys, guys.

Guys, I actually feel like that was

Guys, I I got to be honest.

Guys, I know it's not great, all right?

Guys, I'm woke.

Guys, look, I I just don't think

Guys, mark my words,

Guys, thank thank you so much for not making fun

Guys, the louder you are,

Guys, there's a larger issue at play here,

Guys, this is what I'm learning, okay? I had COVID,

Guys, we got bigger problems than this.

Guys, we have to listen to the young.

H He's the, uh... cheese mongrel. Wow.

Had Mac not ruined them with his blackface.

Hair dye.

Half a bottle of whiskey in each beer.

Half the shit that they're saying.

Halloween store owners, they're gonna be, like,

Happy birthday, little baby ho. I wish your ho mama...

Hating on Pepper Jack's flow?

Have allowed me to harness the darkness inside me

Have fun.

Have sex with a prostitute.

Have some chats, perhaps some money changes hands,

Haven't you noticed that everyone else

Having someone here

He became my biggest client.

He can't smell nothing.

He comes from a long line of movie monkeys.

He could give Paddy's tons of money.

He did?!

He didn't do anything with the kids.

He didn't like that, so he blasted them, too.

He died from eating rocks, which he thought were eggs.

He died with his lungs filled with fluid,

He doesn't go, "I have to eat plates of spaghetti

He doesn't smite us.

He had me up against the wall. What was I supposed to do?

He just eats the goddamn sandwich.

He just found out he's Dutch.

He lived a hard enough life.

He might need an anal stimulant.

He must have tripped and lost his grip, and that's how he fell.

He said his boss was a very connected man

He said yes. I said, "Take us to that place.

He some kind of mixologist?

He talked the pimp into playing Murtaugh,

He used to work in the movies.

He wants us back at the hundred feet.

He was attacked by the village loon,

He was gasping for air.

He wasn't from the neighborhood.

He's a really bad drug dealer, too, man.

He's also allergic to sheep.

He's being super annoying about it.

He's dead.

He's going on a hike all the way up the mountain.

He's not really gonna do it, dude, he's just being dramatic.

He's probably closer to five foot four.

He's saying he wants to go on a vacation.

He's the best. He's the best.

He's the, uh, local, uh, cheesemonger.

Head of Irish hair.

Hello, Father.

Hello! Hello... Hello?

Hello. Good afternoon.

Help!

Help!

Help! Help! Help! Help!

Her voice drives me insane.

Here I am!

Here I am.

Here.

Here.

Here's five grand.

Here's the bottom line, you guys: it's 2021,

Here's the thing.

Hey hey, Dee, um, we're gonna buy the rink.

Hey o! Whoa, what the hell happened...

Hey o. Check it out.

Hey o. I'll burn you.

Hey o. That's my guy.

Hey, and don't forget, positive energy.

Hey, be sure to look to the right if you go in the road! Be careful out there.

Hey, Charlie!

Hey, Frank, we got to go, man, come on.

Hey, Frank, you okay, there?

Hey, happy birthday, baby girl.

Hey, he's giving me one of those, um, email addresses.

Hey, I like this a lot. Why are we doing it?

Hey, let me jump back in there, yeah?

Hey, look, dude, I found out

Hey, man. Can you come pick us up?

Hey, Mommy!

Hey, oh, you know what, dude?

Hey, partner. Happy you made it.

Hey, sis, are are you okay?

Hey, Smokey, stepping away!

Hey, this is jammed in there.

Hey, um, good night...

Hey, when you going to Hollywood, Dee?

Hey, you guys want to grab a soda or something?

Hey, you guys, wait up a second.

Hey, you should come work for me, man.

Hey, you want to go... grab you a coffee?

Hey, you you mind if I sample some of your jellies?

Hey. Happy birthday, baby girl.

Hey. Hey, guys. Why the long faces?

Hey. Stop it! Get off me, bitch!

Hi, how are you?

Hi. Sorry to interrupt. Uh, my my name's Gary.

Hmm, right. But you were having affairs.

Hmm?

Hmm?

Hmm? Oh, uh, nothing. It's just the the castle.

Hold hold on a second, wh... (SIGHS) All right, man, look,

Hold on a second.

Hold on a second. Let...

Hold on. No. Oh. Let go. No, let go!

Hold on. What if it's a guy who hates football

Hold that thought, son. My shit be blowing up.

Holy shit, man, this is crazy.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Honey.

Honored, yes. Buried, no.

Hotdogging happens at the concession stand.

How am I supposed to learn

How are we gonna get that up that hill?

How can I not see that?

How can you not see that?

How can you read something you can't speak?

How did you get the truck?

How have I not gotten it yet?

How many times do I have to tell you

How this shit works, man?

How was work with your dad?

Huh? What do you mean they're gone?

Huh? What? Shit, I see it. All right.

Huh? Who you talking to?

Huh? You you want to join us?

Huh.

Huh. Looks like I'll be doing the talking.

Huh. Well, I'll be honest with you guys,

I agree with you, I just...

I agree. It's not working. Okay, Dee is terrible.

I ain't even banging this chick.

I also seem to be sinking.

I am going to join the seminary.

I am so confused.

I am so sorry for my partner's blue language.

I banged her, too.

I bash a lot of rats in my business, too.

I became the most sought after underground hair stylist

I believe in you.

I can control you.

I can fold in my shred and spread.

I can make you feel however I want you to feel,

I can see that. You're carrying around a gun handle?

I can still be an obnoxious American mom you'd like to F!

I can't believe he tried to feed you shit.

I can't believe this!

I can't believe this.

I can't believe you guys did this to me.

I can't do it.

I can't do this!

I can't make him mad, okay? I'm on my way, Father.

I can't sew without the pelts!

I can't tell if you're making fun of me right now.

I cannot believe you guys did this to me.

I cannot wait to see the house that my dad grew up in.

I could be. You don't know that.

I couldn't do it without you.

I couldn't let this opportunity go to waste.

I d... Am I supposed to even know what that means?

I definitely see myself running this place one day.

I deserve it. I am a trained actor.

I did get caught up in a little bit of a shred and spread,

I did him up real nice.

I did love your mother.

I did not know he was a mongrel.

I did this morning.

I didn't get a chance to see you growing up.

I didn't know anything about the kid stuff.

I didn't say that

I didn't understand the assignment either.

I didn't want to watch this time!

I didn't want you to watch me have sex, either.

I do have a little time, I should just pop out and wash

I do have to admit, though,

I do like that. I love that.

I do need you to clear out of here for the night.

I do not believe any of you. None of this happened.

I do, because that's my primary identity.

I don't care about that. Thank you, monkey.

I don't care for all the sheep, though.

I don't even know what it is I'm being fired from.

I don't have a limp.

I don't have COVID.

I don't know if that's going into the conversation

I don't know if you remember this...

I don't know what to tell you.

I don't know what's happening. Are we still in the scene?

I don't know. We were all getting excited together.

I don't like how mean they are to each other on that show.

I don't like how you said that. I don't like how he said that.

I don't like it.

I don't listen to people, I listen to God.

I don't own this place.

I don't see you doing a lot of castle searching.

I don't think he's gonna give us the loan.

I don't think stew has any arousing components.

I don't think your dick work.

I don't understand any of this!

I don't want a fucking spritzer!

I don't want this to be taken the wrong way 'cause,

I don't want to change. Oh, God, it's hot.

I don't want to even hear the name Shelley.

I don't want to say that all waves are Asian.

I don't want to see any hotdogging.

I don't want to watch next time!

I f... I feel like I just watched you

I feel a lot of tension in the workplace

I feel like the character would be late, too,

I feel like things aren't going well with the election

I feel like you were gonna say something else?

I feel like you're talking really slow

I feel, I feel like we usually have a buffer.

I felt like somebody again.

I find in these vending machines.

I forgive you, all right?

I found a way to weave it in.

I found you, seed. Look at it.

I gave it to Frank, Frank gave it to your dad.

I get it. It's cool. Don't worry about it.

I got a mask.

I got egg, or you want a...? Want want some GORP?

I got it. Sorry, everyone. All right.

I got right to work on creating the perfect hair dye.

I got stuck up on some traffic on the 405.

I got to go, got to go, got to go, got to go.

I got to look phat 'cause I'm out there selling weed,

I got you a spritzer! How about a spritzer?

I got you. This is why we're here. Okay.

I guess that's the same thing, but, like,

I had it all planned out.

I had plans, and they w were perfect plans.

I hate to admit it, but this is a lot heavier without Dee.

I have a spare room is down the hall,

I have more saved up. [CHUCKLES]

I have those urges, too.

I haven't been Dutch long enough to know.

I heard the nerd on the island talk about them.

I heard you do that.

I hope you're having as much fun as I am.

I I blame myself.

I I can't focus on any of our...

I I didn't. I wrote it.

I I don't have COVID, okay?

I I don't know about that.

I I don't understand. What is happening?

I I don't want to have anything to do

I I got a little up jammed traffic on the 504, uh, 450,

I I got four grand right here.

I I got spritzers, yeah, I got spritzers.

I I got the non shot kind.

I I hate to rain on your drug dealing parade, but, um,

I I have heard enough.

I I I... No. I don't want to change.

I I I'm too young.

I I just want to learn.

I I know I haven't always been there for you,

I I like the music, but I'm I'm struggling with the lyrics.

I I think that actually could be a new identity.

I I think we have to think about this

I I thought we were going to a distillery.

I I was just able to give you something

I I... When she asked me to tighten her skates,

I I'm gonna be alone in the seminary

I I'm in training, so...

I I'm looking for someone

I I'm not gonna do that.

I I'm sure by tomorrow it'll wear off,

I I'm sure they've been passing through, and that's...

I I'm waiting for you guys to praise me.

I Is it talking back?

I it's gonna interrupt my flow.

I it's not gonna stop the spread of COVID.

I just am a little worried about my back.

I just don't know what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life now.

I just don't understand how this is a villain.

I just got five grand from my dad.

I just need a good night's sleep.

I just sold two ounces of Compton Endo.

I just wanted to say... thank you.

I just work here for the free parking.

I just... I was searching for a sense of control.

I knew it, Frank!

I knew you couldn't host a dinner without a motive.

I know I haven't always been there for you.

I know we all enjoy

I know you like to usually do your business in private,

I know, I know, I hit a little bit of traffic.

I know, we need pageantry. We need, uh...

I know. The thing is, my friends,

I learned a lot, but I I don't really think it's for me.

I like purple, too, Frank. That's why I wrote it down.

I made a few changes to the script

I mean, all right, go ahead,

I mean, as the most Irish person here, I really think...

I mean, do you think Donovan McNabb

I mean, he looks like Paul Bunyan.

I mean, how am I supposed to know what peat is?

I mean, I feel, like, I'm I'm in the way here.

I mean, I got the shot, Frank got the shot.

I mean, I saw an old bell tower outside

I mean, if that's the case.

I mean, it's not my fault. You never showed me anything.

I mean, take it in, will you? Uh, here we are.

I mean, that doesn't mean I still wouldn't do him,

I mean, that's just insane.

I mean, that's standard shit, man.

I mean, that's too easy. McNabb, obviously.

I mean, these are very triggering words.

I mean, they've spent their entire adult lives

I mean, this is the circle of life coming full... oh, oh!

I mean, this manatee was so depressed,

I mean, we don't have proof.

I mean, we put our boxes all over the damn place.

I mean, we've got the whole world to choose from,

I mean, where's the charm in that? [WHEEZES]

I mean, you know, it's one of the strongest bonds there is.

I mean... You know,

I might have, like, a half brother or something.

I miss you, too.

I need more of, like, a... Elmer Fudd. You got any Fudds?

I need this worse than I've ever needed anything in my entire life.

I need to drink wine.

I needed you there.

I never thought about that, man.

I only want one man inside of me.

I opened a chair.

I own the bar around the corner.

I posted that black square, I deleted that black square,

I really did, but maybe putting up

I reposted the black square,

I said I'm not coming back, Frank. I want to stay here.

I saw that. Are you chewing gum?

I say, "Take five." Also, I say, "Cut," guys, 'cause I am the,

I secretly loosened them, you know,

I see it.

I see you all fell for my ruse.

I see, I see where you were going with that.

I shouldn't have to carry you up this hill.

I suppose all of your years of neglect

I suppose given your current face situation...

I think cheese should be sprayed out of a can,

I think I know how to kill two birds with one stone.

I think I think I'm gonna go to bed.

I think I'm c coughing 'cause

I think it really completes the look.

I think it's probably best in this instance

I think it's time that I started sucking down

I think just a quick touch up

I think maybe, like nine?

I think there's another man in this room.

I think this is working. This is, like, way better.

I think we have a part that might be right for you.

I think we need to recast Murtaugh.

I think we should make a few adjustments

I think what I'm hearing is fluid fill up your lungs.

I think you've mixed that story up with Indiana Jones.

I think, I think it's long overdue.

I think, um... these beers are a little strong.

I think.

I think... I think it's totally awesome.

I thought it was just to do Dee's job.

I thought that was a COVID thing!

I thought this was a free country.

I thought this was something you'd learn in school.

I thought you were gonna show me what you do at work.

I told you guys it was something I was worried about.

I took a new tack...

I tried 'em all.

I want to do with this castle.

I want to go somewhere exotic.

I want to go somewhere exotic.

I want to go somewhere exotic.

I want to humiliate the jerk.

I want to send his Irish ass packing.

I wanted to find a native with an authentic head of Irish hair.

I was behind a stone wall and a painting that night.

I was gonna go home and get some sleep,

I was letting the pandemic get the best of me.

I was on a date, and, as usual, I fibbed about my age a bit

I was proud of how my work stood up in the spotlight.

I was talking about this little guy. Right here.

I was trying to decompress my Vitruvian spine. I'm sorry!

I went through the same thing with Barbara.

I will accept the following things:

I will admit that the beers are also stronger

I will be magnanimously

I will do the talking.

I will S and F him into oblivion.

I will speak at whatever volume I choose,

I will, I will, I will. All you have to do is one thing.

I would suggest you don't move 'cause you're just

I, like, I don't... I got to go.

I, too, have an eye for the lads.

I...

I... I'm talking about the turd soup, man.

I... oh... o okay.

I... This this is not easy.

I'd just look for peace.

I'd really love to meet up with this guy.

I'll also do anything.

I'll always be there for you. I'll always have your back.

I'll be back.

I'll be taking care of you guys this evening.

I'll call you guys around 6:00 or whenever I'm off.

I'll I'll be running a a multi million dollar business,

I'll just get in the back of the line,

I'll leave it all behind.

I'll never forgive him for that.

I'll pick one out,

I'll say anything.

I'll stay on the... I'll stay on the... All right.

I'll take all three of them at once.

I'll tell you exactly what we're gonna do.

I'll tell you what that was about... menopause.

I'll tell you what, I'm not paying for this beer, okay?

I'll tell you what, um, since

I'll tell you, I've seen shit happen in Baltimore

I'm 26.

I'm a gay man who has trouble controlling his...

I'm a gay man.

I'm a little thrown off. I was expecting

I'm actually super nervous.

I'm also kind of, like, climbing

I'm always with you.

I'm begging you... I need this so bad!

I'm Deandra Reynolds,

I'm done. I was in character before,

I'm especially proud of the stitching on the animal skins.

I'm fine, I'm fine. Now, we

I'm glad you're dead.

I'm going to be hiding in this passageway here.

I'm going to be the mother and father that you never had.

I'm going to be there for you.

I'm going to go down to the bog, I'm going to gather peat moss

I'm going to leave. I want to leave.

I'm gonna be an abused wife!

I'm gonna be fucking hilarious! Oh, my God!

I'm gonna blow past it

I'm gonna call my mommy.

I'm gonna check the sandwich thing out.

I'm gonna cut out the eyeholes

I'm gonna get another shamrock tattoo on the other leg!

I'm gonna get in trouble, too. Did you spray these down,

I'm gonna get out, I'm gonna kill you.

I'm gonna get rich, I'm gonna get famous,

I'm gonna go find real Irish people,

I'm gonna have to sell the joint.

I'm gonna kill myself, Frank.

I'm gonna put that on the list.

I'm gonna rent a castle.

I'm gonna save you.

I'm gonna stay here,

I'm gonna take this painting,

I'm gonna... I'm gonna need $40!

I'm great, I'm great. Are you from Ireland?

I'm having a lot of fun here.

I'm having trouble concentrating on any of this stuff,

I'm here to collect on ones you already have.

I'm here to present the future.

I'm here to speak to the owners of Paddy's Pub.

I'm I'm getting a little worried about my back here.

I'm I'm less interested in politics

I'm I'm paying. I'll pay for the sandwich.

I'm kidding.

I'm looking for a a younger man.

I'm making mad Benjamins, son.

I'm moving to Hollywood.

I'm not doing it.

I'm not even talking to you. I'm talking to the castle.

I'm not going to tell you right now.

I'm not gonna kill him or anything, but it's it's

I'm not gonna let you watch next time.

I'm not here to hand out PPP loans.

I'm not I'm not... I'm not staying here.

I'm not Irish?

I'm not really gonna do it. It's just a cry for help.

I'm not sleeping here, Dennis. It's very creepy.

I'm not sure how we, uh, talked the local library

I'm not wearing a coat.

I'm one wet wipe away

I'm only going to take 35%...

I'm really enjoying watching you struggle.

I'm saying, how does Pittsburgh work? Am I constantly

I'm Shelley Kelly. Who's asking?

I'm so sorry about Frank. I...

I'm so sorry that I killed your dad!

I'm so sorry. But but in all seriousness,

I'm sor... Who who who are you?

I'm sorry about this.

I'm sorry if I gave your dad COVID.

I'm sorry, Dad.

I'm sorry, let me, let me try to get this straight.

I'm sorry, we've already recast your part.

I'm sorry, your pen pal's name was Shelley Kelly?

I'm sorry. I get frustrated, I throw. I don't...

I'm starting to see myself as more of a problem solver. I...

I'm starting to think I might have had COVID.

I'm starving. Do they have sandwiches here?

I'm taking over the whole story!

I'm talking about Shelley Kelly, my dad.

I'm talking about... Look,

I'm the only Shelley Kelly around here that I know of.

I'm thinking maybe that monkey was just pouring, like,

I'm tired of you hanging out with him the whole vacation.

I'm trying to have a conversation

I'm, like, sick of looking at her.

I've actually been getting a lot more comfortable

I've always noticed that

I've always wanted to trace back my family lineage.

I've been naming, so I I couldn't think of something.

I've been paying child support for five years,

I've done a lot of learning over the past year, as we all have.

I've done that before.

I've got wonderful news.

I've just been backpacking across Europe.

I've learned to listen, to not talk, to grow.

I've named every name in the entire world.

I've saved up, like, $57,000.

Identity doesn't have to factor

If he's ever been to a child's birthday party.

If I got to stop mid rant every time I want to order a beer,

If if I do tighten up the, uh,

If if it's a woman, I got flowers prepped for her.

If if that's all right with you.

If that's the case, I have other sheets.

If there is anything I have learned

If we're gonna go on vacation, we're gonna go someplace good.

If you don't show me how to do it?

If you ever see

If you get frustrated, just place the man down, okay?

If you know what I mean... Well, you know what I mean.

If you know what I'm saying? [CHUCKLES]

If you must.

If you want to go out and bang every single guy in Ireland,

If you want, you can sit in the corner and watch.

If you're, like, fully expecting me to, like,

Ignore reality.

Ignore your scene partner

Imaginary friend, he's my pen pal, okay?

Imagine if she didn't have to slow down for her friends.

In a failed welfare state.

In case anybody is feeling uncomfortable about it.

In case he or Shelley needs a drink or something to eat.

In every major event of the past year.

In fact, in the spirit of that, I bought everybody a gift.

In good times and in bad.

In here is speaking at a normal volume?

In in Pennsylvania? It's crazy.

In such an upbeat fashion?

In the '70s, right?

In the backseat with an unconscious person.

In the basement of this bar.

In the first place?

In the Halloween industry?

In the national spotlight,

In the night,

In the room with the wee lads.

In their ridiculous echo chambers

In this bowl right here,

In this whole father son thing, too,

In traditional Irish style.

In your heart.

In your heart.

Influencing how I think about things? No.

Inks, grease, paste.

Instead of using it as a reviving mechanism.

Instead of writing down places,

Interpersonal dynamics between an old man

Interpretations can change over time.

Into a stupor and passed out?

Into absolutely every decision you make.

Invented by a wild animal.

Ireland has public health care.

Ireland, baby!

Is a fictional character, so this isn't even a conversation.

Is a merciful God.

Is all they want.

Is because I am crazy on account of my wife's murder.

Is he a mongrel or a monster? That's all I want to know.

Is he around?

Is he meeting you here, or...?

Is invest in ourselves.

Is is really just an off shoot of privilege.

Is it early 1980s? 'Cause the NFC East was not strong,

Is it my gang ties? Because I don't need that shit.

Is just whiskey...

Is making sure that this third movie in a series of seven

Is send him off with some dignity.

Is that bothering anybody else?

Is that him?

Is that like a a glory hole?

Is that shit on the bar?

Is the perfect specimen.

Is the same dye used by Rudolph Giuliani

Is there seeds in it?

Is this more makeup?

Is what it is. No, no. He's saying,

Isn't that kind of dangerous?

Isn't that something? Isn't that something?

Isn't there, like, a sled or a wagon or something?

It also happens to be the castle's preference

It becomes just, like, so clear

It cost us a couple of loosies.

It feels

It feels like I'm asking her to forget the flies

It felt wrong as I was doing it. Wasn't sure how to stop.

It had taken my manhood.

It is a small town.

It is a small town.

It is hard to be a warrior with dignity.

It is hard to be a warrior with dignity.

It is that I never want to see any of you assholes ever again!

It it does not represent our business,

It it doesn't matter. The point is,

It it is a little disappointing to, um,

It it wasn't even that hot.

It It'll be sort of like a Stand by Me situation.

It It's just makeup.

It It's, um, messy,

It just slipped out.

It looks like he was dragging his feet back here.

It makes less sense than it did in the beginning.

It may be phat, but you're not supposed to wear it, all right?

It was a joke, okay?

It was a joke. That's why she was...

It was all consensual.

It was all starting to make sense.

It was my own fault. I got sloppy.

It was perfect, and this is just too soon!

It was prett... It was kind of cool.

It was supposed to go in the water.

It was to get you through customs?

It would be great if we could hire more monkeys

It'd just be kind of dumb, you know.

It's $4,000, Charlie.

It's a discreet opening concealed in plain sight,

It's a drug deal.

It's a little odd being one on one, though, you know.

It's a lovely home.

It's a mash up of Chinatown and Tupac Shakur's Poetic Justice.

It's a ruin. We can't sleep here.

It's all happening too fast.

It's always so goddamn hot.

It's an outrage. It's un American is what it is.

It's been in my pocket the whole time.

It's being Catholic.

It's better to just remove the head altogether.

It's buzzing out there, huh?

It's called acting, Dennis.

It's complicated, you know?

It's constitutionally guaranteed.

It's Dee's replacement.

It's free, huh?

It's full of sand. Ech.

It's fun. All right, here we go. Psych!

It's gonna suck, but we'll just have to carry it.

It's got something in it like sand.

It's Janis Joplin I don't like.

It's just, like, making me uncomfortable.

It's Karen. Karen White.

It's kind of like the Epstein thing.

It's like I said, a monkey could do her job.

It's makeup left over from the show

It's modest, pious,

It's never been done before. Right?

It's nice when it happens, isn't it?

It's not being gay.

It's not being Irish. It's not being badass.

It's not gibberish, you just can't read, dude.

It's not that hard. Oh, here they come.

It's not uncommon. There's nothing wrong with it.

It's not yours. It's my...

It's only because you've riled me up with your lies.

It's pretty important to me, okay?

It's right here.

It's seeds.

It's the end of the Vitruvian era! It's over!

It's the hair, by the way.

It's the mystery of the magic, I don't know.

It's used for murder.

It's very confusing. You're being mean,

It's very easy. It's very easy.

It's who He made us.

It's, uh, butternut squash soup.

It's, uh, shredded documents

It's... it's been tampered with.

It's... it's me, Mac.

It's... Oh, it worked! Here she comes!

Jesus Christ. [SIGHS]

Jesus Christ. What happened to you?

Jesus. You have a fever.

Jizzaline...

Just a straight white, cis male.

Just an act of God, I guess.

Just bashing some rats.

Just go bang every guy in Ireland

Just go to bed.

Just pull over and let me out! I'll walk.

Just say my name. What is it?

Just say, "I got to take a break,"

Just screaming and screeching, like...

Just tell me what's wrong.

Just the one gift, just for Shelley.

Just want to reconnect with my kids.

Just wasn't taking him seriously.

Just, just give me, give me a second.

Just... [CLEARS THROAT]

Just... not for this role. (SIGHS)

Keep your stupid, ugly shamrock tattoo in your pants.

Keeps getting in the stew.

Killed by the plague.

Kills me, but it's over.

Knowing me, they might not return as customers.

Knowing that there's somebody here

L Look, we're casting for the role

Last night on a mystery concoction

Left the skin pretty loose, I see.

Legally, that's called a hostile work environment.

Let me get five.

Let me see here.

Let me suggest something else.

Let me take a look.

Let me tell you. Now take that jacket off, dude.

Let me... I I... My shit be blowing up.

Let's get to places. Director in the house.

Let's go home!

Let's go with our instincts, you know?

Let's go! Come on, Charlie!

Let's just chop the body up. It's already mangled.

Let's just do the medical mask thing.

Let's keep the monkey around 'cause that is

Let's make the movie.

Let's put him in the back and throw your dad off the cliff!

Let's roll.

Let's see here.

Let's shoot. Okay, guys, let's get to places.

Let's sit down.

Let's talk about you giving us that PPP loan, huh?

Lethal Weapon 5 and 6 are gone.

Lethal Weapon 7 was destined to be an inferno

Like bitches on the 405.

Like it was yesterday.

Like like that one over there?

Like like, we do what Dennis's dad does at work, right,

Like my longtime dream of becoming

Like wh... Like what if we make the villain,

Like Woody Allen, right? Roman Polanski.

Like you just ate a giant slice of shit pizza.

Like, a big dog or something, right?

Like, a plague? An act of God.

Like, a team of monkeys who run the bar, you know what I mean?

Like, check it out.

Like, check this out, like, what if we buy the rink from Smokey?

Like, first of all, it's just,

Like, how are we supposed to find anything?

Like, how is that even possible?

Like, if I tighten up these nuts, it's gonna...

Like, is the hamburger clown named after you?

Like, is there anything else we can do?

Like, like, are you

Like, the three of us, together as partners?

Like, two cities in one state?

Like, what's he actually do?

Like, you know, father son thing.

Like, you know, how does Pittsburgh work, you know?

Listen, we really do believe that with a major cash infusion,

Listen. Guys, none of this is working.

Little did I know, my work was about to be

Look at her go, man. Yeah, she's really flying, huh?

Look at that.

Look at this the way I would think of a windmill or a dam.

Look at this.

Look at those moves.

Look, a hand job or I'm not paying for this.

Look, guys, the men of my family have been doing this

Look, I don't think it's too much to ask

Look, I shouldn't even be doing this, man.

Look, I'm gonna do it alone. I don't need your help. Just go!

Look, if we're going to bring in another woman,

Look, no one is going to torch or consummate all over my dad.

Look, there's that truck again.

Look, they're pimps and prostitutes, which, I tell you,

Look, this isn't working, okay?

Look, you don't want to burn the guy?

Look, you never should've done it in the first place.

Look, you're looking at this all wrong.

Look... Here.

Looks like he's fused to the carpet.

Looks like mama's about to have

Loosely based on the chord progressions

Lot of good people are gonna lose their jobs.

Lovely. How are you?

MAC: Go with it, Charlie. We can use it.

MAC: Goddamn.

MAC: It kind of backed up the whole system.

MAC: It's like, do I want a bunch of eggheads

MAC: Of course not, because he's an outsider

MAC: Oh, with their gun.

MAC: Or a woman who was assigned male gender at birth

MAC: Same thing, don't correct me.

MAC: She keeps moving and her hair

MAC: This is so exciting.

MAC: Yeah, we went with gaining exposure

Make it authentic to your experience."

Make Lethal Weapon 7.

Make Lethal Weapon 8?

Making drinks for Kitty Dukakis.

MAN: Go on, go on, out.

MAN: Your good thieves. Best in town.

Mantacide.

Mark my words,

Mark my words, Charlie, those things will never catch on.

Mark these words down 'cause I don't have, like, a pen on me.

May his soul be released.

Maybe if I stand back a little bit.

Maybe maybe villains shouldn't be people at all, huh?

Maybe they usually do this at high tide.

Maybe this doesn't have to be a scam.

Maybe you are, like, from the McDonald family?

Maybe.

Me?! I never even interacted with the man.

Metaphor.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. This stew is really doing it for me now.

Mobile phones. Fads for yuppies.

Mon... Cheese... Why are you saying it that way?

Monkey, beer.

Mostly alive.

Move. Move. Not gonna get it. No. G Give me a break.

Mr. Reynolds, you're finally up.

Ms. Reynolds, can I talk to you for a second?

Much later, we did end up getting a rather sizable order

Murder, betrayal, beheadings.

Must've got trapped in here.

My big fat dick!

My dad saw you, so, you got to be here.

My face real quick and and come right back, it's not a big deal.

My friend and I have traveled a long way to this country and...

My friends and I are working on sort of a farewell routine.

My last name is McDonald.

My mom was, like, really invested in me having a pen pal

My my family heritage, and and, uh...

My other interests that would be as intellectually stimulating

My parents don't really believe in me, so...

My way through life for far too long.

My...

N N N N No, Charlie.

N... No.

Nah, it's it's it's not that hard.

NARRATOR: An all new season.

Never mind him. What'd you say, Charlie?

Never mind them flies."

Next place I pick out, that's where we're gonna go.

Next thing you know, he's in my chair.

No God specifically, just the universe

No gum on my rink, all right?

No headlocks!

No odor at all?

No one has seen a stolen food truck, would ya?

No one has seen a stolen food truck, would ya?

No, because we don't have COVID like you do.

No, Dee. This is gonna be great. Trust me.

No, Dennis, please.

No, I don't believe you.

No, I got Gatorade in that canteen.

No, I I I need more time.

No, I... Yeah. Um...

No, it's not a goddamn place. You know what this is?

No, neither do I. I mean, God, I've...

No, no, don't do that because it's not.

No, no, I I want everybody to be happy.

No, no, my phone's dead.

No, no, no, I I... No... (STAMMERS)

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no. His anger

No, no, no, no, no. No.

No, no, no, no... no, come on. Give me a chance, please.

No, no, no, what was the thing

No, no, no.

No, no, no. [STAMMERS]

No, no, no. This can't be happening.

No, no, there's no b... there's no bullets.

No, no! God. Get your lips away from me, Frank.

No, no. Plus, you want a guy who's lived a little, right?

No, no. This can't be happening.

No, Philadelphia is in Pennsylvania...

No, Shelley doesn't want one yet.

No, th th there's no way I'm Dutch.

No, that wouldn't be funny.

No, the other five percent,

No, they didn't slide my ancestors up the hill.

No, think about that, though, that that's crazy.

No, wait, wait. Dad, Dad, wait, wait.

No, we won't pay any price.

No, why are you doing this? I don't want to change.

No, you're gonna do great out there, sis.

No!

No! I'm gonna see the director.

No! I'm gonna see the director.

No! No butter. There's no butter involved.

No! No!

No! Put your hands down!

No.

No.

No.

No. [LAUGHS] Yeah, so you'll lure him under the hole,

No. But I know the guy that plays him.

No. I do not believe you.

No. I don't want to find out how zoning districts work.

No. I was gonna shave my legs.

No. I'm gay. That's it.

No. I'm just, uh...

No. If anything, it feels lighter.

No. No, my dad didn't grow up in a McDonald's.

No. No, no, I'm not hating on your...

No. No, no, no, no.

No. No, not great. Ridiculous.

No. No, you didn't! You didn't do this.

No. No, you haven't even changed clothes, for instance.

No. No.

Nobody admit this to Mac, but...

Nobody will ever use email.

Nobody. You're hearing things Dee.

Nobody's perfect

None of these idiotic businesses would have been successful

Nope.

Not bad.

Not carr... What are you talking about, man?

Not carrying it? Yeah, I was carrying it.

Not eat a poopy.

Not even the usual clientele.

Not ever!

Not everybody likes him, but that's why we do.

Not judging, just the facts.

Not so much the women.

Not sure how he made more people after that, though.

Not yet. But, I mean, I will

Not you so much, more Dennis.

Now as a Dutch man, I think I would

Now could you repeat that back to me?

Now I don't have to spend the rest of my life

Now I hate to say this, you know, but it is an emergency.

Now let's go save this country!

Now now, Charlie, we're still honoring your dad.

Now you want us to pick you up?

Now you're finally making some sense here, because, like,

Now, a couple quick things about the castle,

Now, did everyone have a chance to get cash or cashier's check?

Now, guys, look, the real question is

Now, I...

Now, if we could circle back on the payment thing again,

Now, just for the special guest. Eat up, Shel.

Now, luckily, I was pretty handy with the old girl,

Now, see, Mac, that's how you wear a jacket at work.

Now, Shelley, have, have a meatball.

Now, this is all wrong. I mean, he's playing it like a pimp.

Now, uh, let's, uh, let's take it one more time from the top

Now, while I do not approve of Dennis riding your dead dad,

Now, you, Kiki, you're really getting this.

Number one, Irish.

Number two, gay. Number three, badass.

O Okay.

O One minute.

Of "abused wife" for a scene that shoots tomorrow.

Of all the European exhaust.

Of being away from the motherland, so...

Of course there is! The the the hydro pills

Of course, I was badass the entire time,

Of empty whiskey bottles around,

Of getting the stew in the first place.

Of green and fight."

Of her physical attributes.

Of Jeffrey Epstein.

Of quasi wokeness and, uh,

Of the bag, and we'll get it over with.

Of the election was at stake here.

Of the mountain, and then we're gonna chuck him over the side.

Of the size of her feet. They're they're very big.

Of this delicious st... Ah, screw it.

Of today's moral and ethical standards.

Oh, 'cause I'm doing something anti racist,

Oh, and also...

Oh, D... Dennis, this is just the COVID talking, okay?

Oh, Dee, don't worry about it, because as soon as I figure out

Oh, don't worry.

Oh, dramatic role.

Oh, dude, I just thought of something.

Oh, dude, it's a whole thing already.

Oh, dude, that's what it is, right?

Oh, dude. I am very hungover. I do not feel good.

Oh, dudes, that's perfect. I just got 25 cents,

Oh, Father, Father, Father, I've got news.

Oh, Father, look, I I've been S'ing and F'ing

Oh, Frank, why are you carrying all that stuff, man?

Oh, God, help.

Oh, God, no. No, no, no. We we already tried that.

Oh, God, um...

Oh, God, what's this? Listen, if you don't have the cash,

Oh, God!

Oh, God!

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Wait. I got to take a break.

Oh, goddamn it, Dee!

Oh, goddamn it, what the hell is this?

Oh, goddamn it!

Oh, goddamn it!

Oh, goddamn it.

Oh, goddamn it. Are you telling me

Oh, goddamn you.

Oh, goddamn, what is that smell?

Oh, goddamn! I mean...

Oh, gosh.

Oh, got to tighten them Dee's nuts.

Oh, here. Try some of this Gatorade.

Oh, here's the thing,

Oh, hey, you got to wear a mask.

Oh, I could see that.

Oh, I insist. Yeah.

Oh, I must have got confused and pissed in 'em both.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Uh, there must be some confusion.

Oh, it's it's my dad.

Oh, it's probably your stomach grumbling from hunger.

Oh, it's Ralphie.

Oh, Kiki...

Oh, man, I would cut, I would cut someone, too. Damn.

Oh, my God, Charlie,

Oh, my God, Dee, we are driving you to work, okay?

Oh, my God, I cannot believe this. I am out of here.

Oh, my God, I'm gonna nail it.

Oh, my God, I'm on a call sheet!

Oh, my God, what is she doing?

Oh, my God! This is...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I'm gonna call us an ambulance

Oh, my God. Just... Come on. Knock it off.

Oh, my God. My head is killing me.

Oh, my God. Oh, guys.

Oh, my God. That's crazy.

Oh, my God. This is so humiliating.

Oh, no offense taken, Dennis, because he is fat as shit,

Oh, no, Charlie, uh, size 11 in men's.

Oh, no, he didn't.

Oh, no, I mean, I just got it now.

Oh, no, I'm fine. If anyone's nutted, it's you.

Oh, no, I'm not gonna do that 'cause I got a date,

Oh, no, no, no. You... you got it a while back. It's just...

Oh, no, that's my mobile phone.

Oh, no.

Oh, not you.

Oh, o... kay, yeah.

Oh, oh, oh, could you?

Oh, oh, oh...

Oh, okay. Well, you just cut in front of 15 other actresses.

Oh, really? (CHUCKLES) Weird.

Oh, she sounds tough.

Oh, shit, I'm sinking.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Uh...

Oh, so Philadelphia's not Pennsylvania?

Oh, sorry I'm late. People be driving

Oh, sorry. [CHUCKLES] I was, uh...

Oh, South Philly Skate's closing, man.

Oh, terrible.

Oh, that would make me the happiest man in the world.

Oh, that's not a bad idea, man.

Oh, that's sweet, man. Like, what kind of business is he in?

Oh, that's that's real power.

Oh, the women are thrown from a cliff as well.

Oh, there are plenty of blankets.

Oh, there he is.

Oh, there's no electricity in this goddamn place.

Oh, there's only one room.

Oh, ugh, God. Okay.

Oh, uh, thank you.

Oh, uh, yeah, it was cool. You know, um,

Oh, um, reacting.

Oh, well, so, Frank went under the bridge to get

Oh, well, then that'll be fine.

Oh, well, we'll take the cot.

Oh, when God took away my Irish identity

Oh, who who did you wind up getting for that?

Oh, why don't I get any meatballs?

Oh, yeah, I feel like shit.

Oh, yeah, I'm fully vaccinated.

Oh, yeah, we we got, uh, sandwiches.

Oh, yeah? Check this out.

Oh, yeah? Have you heard the one

Oh, yeah? Well, that can be very blinding.

Oh, yeah. No, Shelley's coming with us.

Oh, yeah. That's one big sack of Irish stew.

Oh, yeah. Um, but, Dee, just a quick heads up,

Oh, yeah. We need someone to watch over the bar

Oh, yeah. What about this guy? What's his story?

Oh, you dirty bitch.

Oh, you do?

Oh, you don't understand humor?

Oh, you got nothing to be nervous about.

Oh, you have no idea. Okay, you can go.

Oh, you're doing a shred and spread?

Oh, you're gross. God.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Got one. [LAUGHS]

Oh! It it should be coming up right here.

Oh! Oh, shit.

Oh! That's not supposed to be the piss one!

Oh? Really? Why? Like, what it is?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. [CLEARS THROAT] Hi there.

Oh. Are you, are you gonna write all the scenes?

Oh. Good night, son.

Oh. I can dig that, man.

Oh. I did?

Oh. I should eat it again.

Oh. I thought you'd be happy for me.

Oh. I'm sorry. I...

Oh. It says, "Look behind you."

Oh. Look at this one, with the New York hat.

Oh. Oh, Dee, um...

Oh. Oh, I understand. I think I understand...

Oh. Oh, McDonald's.

Oh. Oh, shit.

Oh. Oh! [SCREAMS]

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Okay? Uh...

Oh. Shit.

Oh. Sorry.

Oh. Uh uh, yeah.

Oh. Uh, Bill Cosby.

Oh. Yeah.

Oh...

Oh...

Oh... Help!

Oh... my God.

Oh... okay.

Oi!

Okay, as long as I get to bang the broad.

Okay, but that's just an expression, Frank.

Okay, come on, let's go. They're they're outside.

Okay, cool. I I can do that.

Okay, Dennis, I don't like that.

Okay, good, so...

Okay, good. Great.

Okay, guys, let's get to places.

Okay, how about this one?

Okay, I can see that.

Okay, I can't really read the tone of this dinner, you know?

Okay, I got those. Hang on.

Okay, I'm confused, Dee. D Do you want to be in?

Okay, if "nutted" means that you're a liar.

Okay, it's fine. Everyone, listen, please.

Okay, let's just grab a piece

Okay, ma'am, I don't know what's going on with you,

Okay, n...

Okay, new people.

Okay, now you guys can help me with my thing.

Okay, should we see where we're going?

Okay, so there's the costumes.

Okay, so three, we... three mistakes.

Okay, so you thought of a color, too?

Okay, so, I used to be Irish,

Okay, that that... This isn't a problem. All right, I...

Okay, the guy is five foot nine, okay, to start with...

Okay, this place is perfect.

Okay, we're not going to Pittsburgh.

Okay, well, hold on a second, Charlie. Let's think about this.

Okay, well, I can get behind that,

Okay, well, if I'm hot,

Okay, well, it's it's very, very delicious, uh...

Okay, well, listen, I I don't have any interest in the, uh,

Okay, well, that is, that is grotesque.

Okay, well, that's not a goddamn place, you idiot, so..

Okay, well, uh, I don't think you're quite what we're looking...

Okay, will you at least consider

Okay, you know,

Okay! Now, this is what I'm talking about.

Okay? I have spent

Okay? I'm not gonna cough in there.

Okay? Now, let me tell you how I reached this awakening.

Okay? Oh, you fool.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Five. One,

Okay. Let's just move on to the next loan.

Okay. Look, uh, my heart was in the right place,

Okay. Okay, Dennis, you're very, very sick,

Okay. She's terrible, but it's not her, it's my thing.

Okay. That is, uh...

Okay. Uh, well, I saw your tape,

Okay. Well, this is insane. This is insane!

Okay... [PANTING]

Oldest trick in the book.

On a respirator, but there wasn't enough time... he died.

On a vacation destination last night.

On both sides of the aisle, so...

On the head of America's mayor,

On the highway.

On the left seemed to be a tough nut to crack,

On the vacation, okay? And then

On where exactly to go, let's, uh...

One mistake and that was it.

One more thing.

One room? Wha... How's that gonna work?

One sec. Hello?

One second. Let me get it out here.

One that loves us for exactly who we are.

One that requires considerable training.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

One. Two. Three.

Only 280 characters away

Only thing is, he can't really walk,

Only to find out that they have no odor at all!

Only, there was one problem.

Oof. [LAUGHS] Yeah, I've made that mistake, yeah.

Ooh, but, you know what? Let's call it a tidal wave.

Ooh.

Ooh. Huh?

Ooh. That was brutal.

Or a bunch of raccoons

Or a trench coat full of bees flying around?

Or if you are, that that's a wig.

Or is it some sort of mutation that sprung from generations

Or may not have been

Or oils or any other hot liquid

Or phrases, you know?

Or something 'cause I don't make exceptions.

Or the wee lasses, whatever you're into.

Or what you actually are?

Or what?

Or whatever, whatever they call it... you can read that?

Or whatever.

Or you could just find one guy,

Or... It doesn't matter.

Otherwise, we are doomed to have sex

Otherwise, why would He have made us that way

Our businesses could succeed just like his.

Our faith is... it's complicated.

Our God, the God we teach here,

Our guy's name through the mud, saying he wasn't fit for office.

Our Lethal Weapon movies were always intended

Out of massive amounts of taxpayer dollars

Out of my eyeballs?

Out of our Irish vacation to drive you to work,

Over drinks tonight, my place.

Over the course of the last year,

Over to you...

Overnight, she became completely irrational

Ow. What happened?

Paddy's, huh?

Parables with lessons.

People in power will try and bang you.

Pepper Jack about to cut all of y'all.

PEPPER JACK: Uh, Frank?

PEPPER JACK: Well, yeah, we are.

Per the castle's wishes.

Perhaps not. No harm, no foul.

Perhaps we should consider a vacation.

Permanent marker.

Peter North, T. T. Boy, the late, great D.J. Ram.

Pick her up from her acting gig, and that's what we're gonna do.

Pick her up? I mean...

Pig.

Pittsburgh is in Pennsylvania?

Please give me a role, any role.

Please please tell me th that's not true.

Please tell me that I'm...

Please, Dennis, it's me. Snap out of it.

Please, just give me a chance.

Please, please, I'm begging you.

Plus it's hard to tell with the time difference.

Plus, I do feel like that's what the character would have done,

Plus, you know, these are Irish words,

Pretty nice. We like Pittsburgh.

Probably all about for me, you know?

Probably because you caused a scene.

Probably shouldn't have done that in the bar.

Put a name to the face 'cause customer service is important.

Put it right there. Welcome. Sit down there.

Put that shit away, all right?

Put your seatbelt on or we're not leaving. Jeez!

Put your seatbelt on or we're not leaving. Jeez!

Redheads have a distinct odor.

Regardless of where we decide to go,

Remember, the Nazis got their faces all melted off,

Remember? Then then then Noah made that ark,

Richie Keen, keep it clean, buddy, all right?

Rid of it. Are you getting rid of the tattoo?

Riggs' wife... and my daughter could be here to see this,

Right before your eyes? Right?

Right here,

Right here.

Right in that box there, folks.

Right now, are you talking to me or the castle?

Right, but it sounds like you don't know what the business is.

Right, he's not even wearing a coat, man.

Right, well, uh, language, Frank,

Right!

Right?

Right? Let's talk about Murtaugh.

Right? Why don't you just keep track of what we're drinking

Right.

Right. Brilliant. Um,

Right. Hey, what do you say we get out of here

Right. It doesn't have to be this, right?

Right. Right.

Right. Yeah, there was a whole kerfuffle...

Robbed the bar,

Ronald Reagan? That's Dennis.

Rudolph William Giuliani.

Rumor has it

Run a bar?

Run along and play, little bitch.

Said he just needed a place to cool off.

Said he was in from New York, doing some business

Said I'd be perfect for an obnoxious American MILF.

Salons are closed.

Sandwiches. [STAMMERS] We were gonna get...

Say my name.

Says a lot more about us

See see, Shelley Kelly is a is a kid like me.

See, Dee? The bedroom's perfect.

See, this generation doesn't even understand

See? Great, huh?

See? It does wake people up.

She actually swam into a boat propeller.

She doesn't have to. No, no, no.

She got bussed in from that liberal hellscape?

She has arrived, the obnoxious American MILF is walking!

She has changed my life.

She's a little bit cunty. It's just too real.

She's all gangly and then I'm gonna be crammed

She's gonna be fine.

She's the perfect woman.

She's... [CHUCKLES]

Shelley, eat 'em up before they get cold.

SHELLEY: So, that's the house.

SHELLEY: That's John Patrick Kelly.

Shh!

Shh! Shh.

Shit, man, but, like, isn't dealing drugs,

Shoe polish, India ink,

Shut up!

Shut up! Come on!

Shut up. Shut up.

Significantly lighter.

Since when do you care about doing the right thing?

Skate clean, everybody. Let's skate clean.

Slow down, be serious, Mom, be serious!

Slow down.

Slower.

Sludges in general.

Sludges, I see. All right.

Sly Stallone is just a meatball actor.

Smells like fish. You guys smell that?

Smokey!

Smokey! Filing a damage report here, boss.

Smokey's selling the rink.

Smokey's selling this joint, man.

Smoldering ashes, however, I pieced together

So are you.

So Dennis poured hot oil on him.

So did I.

So goddamn annoying about it on the trip,

So good to be seen like that.

So here is what is going to happen,

So I can see everything that's happening.

So I could score a younger prospect.

So I got a monkey instead.

So I grabbed a few titles

So I just figured if I make myself slower, everyone's happy.

So I turned my attention

So I went to my favorite bookstore to clear my head.

So I'll just need to know, uh, what you did with the money

So I'm just gonna blurt it right out.

So it's not really that big of a...

So let's not take the monkey on our vacation.

So Mac and I decided to pivot to a less controversial approach.

So maybe she banged her way through Ireland sometime

So maybe we can, like, take this trip out to the countryside?

So she found me this kid, Shelley Kelly. You know, I...

So so, I'm sorry, now you're comparing McNabb

So that's why we wanted to make sure

So was Doug Flutie. You saying he's an actor?

So we can expose him

So we don't need you for another hour.

So we paid your mom to tell you you were Dutch.

So we thought we'd clear it up.

So we were able to fill out most of the order.

So we're gonna have to carry him.

So what? I could deal drugs wherever.

So you can pick me up.

So you should be talking of none of them.

So you're saying that you might be partially responsible

So you're telling me that you can't read English,

So your imaginary pen pal was a real person?

So, actions do have consequences. You know?

So, are all the Kellys buried here?

So, here's what I'm thinking, guys.

So, if I don't get some answers real fast,

So, just look under your seats, and you'll see

So, monkey beer

So, that's what Pennsylvania is.

So, to truly understand what this life is like,

So, uh, how'd I do?

So, uh, uh, Dutch first.

So, we are gonna do the right thing. We're gonna, we're gonna

So, we used the loan to buy tactical gear.

So, what's it like working for your old man?

So, you know what I say?

So, you know, some guy named Pepper Jack,

So, you know, we created a mess. (LAUGHS)

So, you're telling me

So, you're you're looking for a castle?

So...

Socialists are ripping away our freedom.

Some of the richest people in America, Dee.

Somebody ought to crack a window.

Someone stole a truck. Broad daylight.

Someone stole a truck. Broad daylight.

Someone with the skill, range,

Someone's got to crack a door or a window. Oh, God, no.

Sometimes it burns too bright.

Sorry about him.

Sorry about that.

Sorry I'm a little late.

Sorry to interrupt, boys.

Sorry to interrupt, boys.

Sorry, it's...

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. It's my, it's my first night.

Sorry. It's three, four, five.

Sour, salty taste in my mouth? Do you guys have that?

Stacked up in a trench coat? You know? (GASPS)

Start to shoot out a path so that the tidal wave moves

Started cutting corners, using American motor oil.

Stew and stew breath have never...

Stew has never woken anyone up, ever.

Stop COVID?

Stop dropping him over and over again.

Stop right there, all right?

Stop.

Stretch those hammies!

Successful bar owners in all of South Philadelphia,

Such a good hearted person.

Sup, son. I'm having the best night.

Sure.

Sure. Let's let's move on from this.

Susie, shh!

Sweet Dee is not being very sweet.

Sweet Jesus.

Sweetie, if you're not gonna help me homeschool these kids,

Swim goggles?

Switched to driving on the correct side of the road. Huh?

T Tiger Woods, Elvin...

Taking a step back.

Talk about the first loan, which is "Punch Incorporated"?

Taxi! Taxi!

Taxi? Oh, taxi!

Terrible.

Terrific. Thanks for coming in. All right.

Than a corporate tax shelter.

Than businesses I sent into bankruptcy.

Than it does about them, that's for sure.

Thank you for the opportunity, and I'm hip to your hustle.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Thank you, anyway, but I don't want to be involved

Thank you, monkey... you don't want to know, like,

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Wow.

Thanks for making me the man I am today, Frank. Thank you.

Thanks for the goggles, Frank.

Thanks, brother.

Thanks, Frank. I'm kind of sorry, too.

Thanks, Gus.

Thanks, guys. I'm gonna go skate with my friends.

Thanks, man. Yeah, that's kind of what I was going for. Yeah.

Thanks. D... (CHUCKLES)

That accent is terrible.

That actually might be enough

That all that money was just a waste?

That are surrounding me, not the horse.

That brings a fresh perspective to Washington. Right?

That could be kind of good, right?

That Dennis stunk up the castle with.

That doesn't fit here. Bros before hoes?

That feels less racially charged.

That first class ticket to Ireland in our faces

That Frank's Fluids may

That he also did a short stint

That is quite different than all other hair types.

That is really good. What'd the monkey put in this?

That is the main thing.

That might come in contact with your face.

That once they get that thing inside of you,

That only when a man is thrown from a cliff into the sea,

That place is a real dump.

That really means a lot to me.

That realtor screwed us.

That shows you don't know something,

That sounds good to you?

That sucks, man. I don't want to watch that movie.

That sullied the whole operation.

That tends to be quite isolating.

That the body didn't get heavier when Dennis let go?

That the patriarchy

That the whole Cain and Abel thing didn't actually happen?

That they removed our movies,

That thing is really cool. I'll admit that.

That things went smoothly at the polling place.

That took out the whole world?

That was me. Yeah, I did purple.

That was more in a physical sense, not a spiritual one.

That was the whole point of the conversation we were having.

That we keep this tradition going, okay?

That we're going to is...

That won't be necessary.

That you crashed the audition on the other day,

That your back has the symmetry of the Vitruvian man,

That, with this new employee,

That's 'cause you're not a moron.

That's a doozy, isn't it?

That's a very important part of the filmmaking process.

That's all part of the charm of of Europe.

That's buried in there.

That's crazy!

That's dripping down your face

That's exactly like me gives me the courage

That's exactly what we're trying to get away from.

That's gonna be a mess inside that bag, guys.

That's gonna be in there all week. Oh, God.

That's gonna bring the mood back up.

That's how it's done.

That's Ireland.

That's makeup?

That's my Fraggle Rock thermos. He stole that from me.

That's my name!

That's not rubbish,

That's not the way God works, Mac.

That's odd. Uh...

That's okay, partner. I'm just glad you're here.

That's okay. I'm just glad you're here.

That's only half... You look crazy, dude.

That's piss, too!

That's right, and maybe if our guy had won,

That's socialism, and I won't stand for it!

That's something I've always wanted to do,

That's sort of a catch all, Dee.

That's sort of Dennis's thing.

That's that's my only thing.

That's the end of it.

That's the ethnicity from Iran. Hello?

That's to keep your mouth shut. That's your paycheck.

That's too authentic, okay?

That's totally possible. Yeah, multiple cities.

That's what he said.

That's what I'm, that's what I'm feeling.

That's what you're gonna do, 'cause I deserve it.

That's why I got myself a gat.

That's why there's no smell. It's a... it's a lie.

That's, that's very kind of you, Frank, yeah, thanks.

The air is probably thick with, uh, petrol.

The American way. I threw a lot of cash at the owner.

The axle nuts, it's gonna slow you down.

The baby...

The bad dye job. Who had I become?

The bar's natural ecosystem.

The best beer I've ever had in my entire life, I swear to God.

The Bible is a guidepost.

The Big Man. The Big Man upstairs.

The car's out of gas.

The castle 'cause they're gonna know you have COVID.

The castle into it in some way, then I'm in.

The castle?

The Church has been very clear about.

The corporate ladder, you know?

The country was in turmoil, okay? Tensions were high,

The destination will just reveal itself to us.

The doctor said his lungs were all filled with fluid,

The end is near.

The end of a typical day in my life.

The evidence of Frank's involvement

The experience and the the authenticity to tell this story.

The first order of business,

The flavors! That's the whole point

The following year, he doesn't show up,

The guy showed up, and you weren't there.

The guys were teasing me about it earlier.

The hair is a lie, and therefore,

The hair is on the head.

The hair's not authentic.

The heart wants

The horse dewormer. The the president's stuff!

The important thing is you're here now.

The Internet is a fad for nerds.

The last time we were there. What what year was that?

The magical gibberish language that my pen pal taught me,

The man who could carry stuff.

The manatee's all bent out of shape.

The MILF is walking.

The monkey got us drunk,

The moral of the story is

The more people have to pay attention to you.

The most important aspect of my identity...

The official beverage supplier

The only man that can fill me up.

The other one's got the piss in case things go bad.

The pandemic had kind of disrupted

The path forward and the knowledge

The pelts! The pelts, you bitch!

The phone. The phone. We're going to the phone bit.

The point is I was confused.

The point is, we were pretty deep in the pandemic

The problem is, back there, we can't...

The rink? [SCOFFS]

The Ronald McDonald?

The sandwiches are good, but, like...

The scoliosis hardened it into petrified wood,

The shot? The government shot? I didn't do that.

The sickness and anger inside of you is diabolical.

The skates, I'm gonna have to walk over there in my socks

The the computer guy with the little weird glasses?

The the hair out of the soup.

The the music is starting to come together.

The the tiny car,

The thing is, maybe this next take,

The vacation. I think we landed

The whole thing was a fiasco.

The woman of color? Is right here.

The woman was in her 20s, and the date

The women roam the land

The words of the Bible.

The... director...

Their way of solving problems back then, you know.

Then a bunch of people looked at it.

Then gen gently place him down.

Then go get the car and drive me.

Then I then I wanted to find out what my heritage was.

Then I ticky tackied over to the, to the Laurel Canyon.

Then it would be funny 'cause I didn't learn my lesson.

Then maybe I should just be plowing a bunch of dudes,

Then ring the bell!

Then we'll get this old bitch up the hill.

Then we've got the fix for you. Garments and Varmints.

Then why do we make statues to him?

There I was, staring at my idols,

There is no way that you were all involved

There was a real uptick in raccoons,

There we go.

There you go. Have fun.

There's a bigger problem, man. Can I be honest with you?

There's a couple meatballs in there.

There's a dearth of Iranian female directors, so thank you.

There's a lot of seeds.

There's a whole section on McDonald.

There's gonna be obnoxious Americans on this hike?

There's no judgment here.

There's no smell at all to you.

There's nothing funny about it.

There's nothing left down there.

There's nothing more Irish

There's so many "Mc" and "Mac" names, too.

There's there's numbers and money, you know?

There's two cities in the same state,

There's... Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Therefore, I want to become

These monkeys are passed down

They aren't more ethical than us.

They can control your thoughts.

They didn't wagon them. They carried them.

They have wellness vampires now.

They just want to be perceived as such.

They removed them from the library.

They take your thoughts,

They they don't want to drive headfirst into a maniac.

They they weren't so much mistakes

They were all thrown from a cliff into the sea.

They will return, no matter what,

They wind up under a bridge in Philly

They'll protect your eyes from any chlorine

They're all worried and shit.

They're from raccoons that he was tanning

They're gonna love you.

They're gonna want to come together

They're just not as fast as me,

They're the same thing now, Charlie.

They're your nuts, so I said, "Dee's nuts." Like...

They've never seen the guy onstage.

Think about it, man. Everyone's been stuck together at home,

Think about it.

This ain't working for me.

This big, dumb, flightless bird just booked a huge acting gig.

This can't be happening, I'm too young.

This generation is more socially active

This guy is like the Irish version of me.

This guy's a huge potential investor.

This I can wrap my head around.

This is all so confusing.

This is amazing. Yes, Kiki, yes.

This is crazy, but I think I'm stuck.

This is gon this is gonna be awesome, okay?

This is just all too soon!

This is not working out for me, Dennis. You you...

This is ridiculous, man. What are you doing?

This is the greatest day of my life... oh, shit!

This is the ramblings of four men who got very, very drunk

This is what I do at work.

This is why Irish people hate Americans.

This is, like, Irish or Gaelic

This isn't fair.

This jacket's phat as hell.

This library's got too many books.

This one just fell apart.

This one's bullshit.

This path, is very clear.

This place is amazing. [COUGHING]

This this can't be happening, no.

This time, I engaged.

This trip has been absolutely ruined because of you, okay?

Those monkeys don't even have jobs anymore

Thousands of dollars on acting classes,

Thr... They've been passing through the... into the castle?

Thus, the curse of the banshees.

Tidal wave! Where'd that come from?

To a field that's been decimated by climate change.

To a teeny tiny little man

To an unconscious person.

To be fair, COVID killed your dad. I just gave it to him.

To be honest with you, I wanted to run through a bunch of pipe,

To be the starting QB for the Eagles next season?

To burn it to try and get rid of the shit smell

To Charlie, my son.

To close our doors to the community, so...

To do our job for us while we're gone.

To get out of here. I also don't want to die,

To just let sleeping dogs lie.

To keep you blissfully asleep so you could enjoy the flight

To make films for the next 40 years.

To make sure that this film is palatable to a modern audience.

To protect people as much as we can.

To run the bar if we're gonna go on vacation,

To see your performance from the fucking moon.

To the castle's murder hole.

To the dad I didn't know I had.

To the script, you know, and to our casting choices,

To the top of the mountain, as per his wishes.

To the youth of the right.

To think of this all by myself. I...

To to the next loan, if that's okay.

To to want to do it, too, so tomorrow

To you because, uh, it sounds worse than it is.

Told Dee that we were gonna

Tomorrow. Yeah, this is my last night in Philly.

Tony, do see me after class.

Tony, see me after class.

Too slow. Don't start over.

Toss you a single compliment.

Totally worth it, though. I loved it.

Trying to be mean, it's not personal.

Turn my back on you, do you understand?

Two times.

Two, three... Whoa. Dropped one.

Ugh.

Uh huh.

Uh oh, guys...

Uh oh, uh oh. Now I'm in it.

Uh oh. What's that? This is phone,

Uh, "Washington outsider, not taken seriously

Uh, are you sure okay with us staying the night?

Uh, be right there, hon.

Uh, but I do want to figure this out, so, new plan.

Uh, but I thought you were saying I did have the power?

Uh, five for the fine fella.

Uh, for the vote delays, but wha what I'm also saying is that

Uh, from the machine over there.

Uh, Gary, we're gonna set up over here.

Uh, ghouls, cheese, uh...

Uh, guys, can I suggest something else?

Uh, guys, uh...

Uh, h hold all that crying, man.

Uh, he's gonna get burned. But, I mean,

Uh, he's right. Bros before hoes.

Uh, hello, who's this? It's Charlie... uh, Riggs.

Uh, hi.

Uh, I am confused.

Uh, I can read it, I can't speak it.

Uh, I got it. I got it.

Uh, I got off on "Spelly ba da,"

Uh, I think I'd rather take the bedroom, Frank.

Uh, I'd love to throw in this cool hat for free.

Uh, I'll tell you what, why don't, um, why don't we play you

Uh, I'm fine. Keep going, keep going.

Uh, I'm looking for the young Shelley Kelly.

Uh, it was a little fast, but she was hot. [CHUCKLES]

Uh, it's it's it's complicated, you know?

Uh, Kiki, how does that make him seem to you?

Uh, look,

Uh, my dad forgot his briefcase,

Uh, no, actually, those guys continued

Uh, no, no, I'm saying we might have been entirely responsible,

Uh, no, what I'm saying is that Rocky Balboa

Uh, number one, it's easier, and number two,

Uh, okay. How are we feeling?

Uh, outraged, violated,

Uh, right, well, uh, I'm looking for, uh,

Uh, so, uh, "Frank's Imports and Exports."

Uh, sure, I guess. Sure.

Uh, sure. Yeah, yeah. Sounds great.

Uh, that that's them. Okay, I'll walk on my toes,

Uh, that's the handle. Just the handle.

Uh, this is gonna be tough to cut around.

Uh, uh, how we doing?

Uh, we only carry, like, women's up to, like,

Uh, we're pen pals.

Uh, well, now that we've got that settled,

Uh, well, personally,

Uh, what if we, uh...

Uh, what were you importing?

Uh, what what if we, uh...? Now bear with me here.

Uh, y... It looks terrible.

Uh, yeah, you know what?

Uh, yes, Mac, I can.

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh... Me. Yeah.

Uh... no. Uh, just yellow.

Uh... Yeah. Sorry. Sorry, everybody.

Um, a clothing line. Something called

Um, can I suggest something?

Um, cheese, ghouls, um...

Um, hey, can you help a girl out and then get me of this bog?

Um, hi, yes. Uh, is this Deandra Reynolds?

Um, how severe is it?

Um, I don't know. Just something on the ground or something.

Um, I...

Um, in fact, as I believe, it's three separate loans,

Um, no. I I think what...

Um, so I'm gonna need 40, uh,

Um, so we're actually here looking f... [RETCHING]

Um, so, anyway, um,

Um, you can show me to my trailer now.

Um, you know, probably 'cause I never wear makeup in real life.

Um...

Um... chain saw, avocado, marlin?

Um... no.

Um... no.

Um... Okay.

Um... weak?

Under her nose should do it and let it kind of waft up.

Unlike my back which is pretty much all muscle.

Unlike you, I'm not a psychopath.

Unsuccessful in love, electrifying onstage."

Until I finally hit pay dirt.

Until, eventually,

Urges with other

USA!

USA! USA!

USA! USA! USA! USA!

Vandross.

Very nice.

W We found that people had, uh, no idea

W Were you trying to s say Yellowstone or...?

Wait a minute, wait, whoa, whoa, dude, I'm Irish.

Wait a minute. The old turd in the soup trick.

Wait a minute. Wait. You guys want to buy a roller rink?

Wait a second. What did you say? How did your dad die?

Wait, did I miss the thing?

Wait, I I was?

Wait, just... You're crazy.

Wait, Kanye West?

Wait, oh, Frank, Frank, I've found her.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't eat that.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Stop talking.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. You can't go.

Wait, wait, wait. Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.

Wait, we're not going to Pittsburgh.

Wait, what?

Wait, where where is she? Where is she?

Wait, y... so you're saying that the hair dye

Wait, you're gonna char the guy?

Wait, you're totally right. Right?

Wait. Time out. Time out, guys.

Waiting for you to pick me up.

Wake...

Walking this path is a serious commitment.

Was a a bit obtuse and created a a great deal of confusion.

Was Fatty Arbuckle's monkey,

Was going quite well, or so I thought.

Was that okay to do?

Wasn't gonna get a fair shot in the election.

Way more power than just acting, and I think that's what it was

We all did.

We all should be listening to Kanye West.

We are America, sweetheart!

We brought you here, okay?

We can legally fire her

We can still do this. Okay, what about this?

We can't even get past the first scene.

We can't shoot you like that... It it's disturbing!

We could be looking at a lot less work

We could gut this place, make it totally our own, right?

We could just blow him up the hill.

We could make this more of an art house film.

We could've gotten killed, Mac.

We didn't have to do that. Do you know how hard

We don't know what the hell you're talking about.

We don't... Okay, hold on a sec.

We getting too old for this shit, huh?

We got a problem here, fellas?

We got all kinds of materials.

We got booted out of the library 'cause Mac's freaking out.

We got something on here. Let's um...

We got to dig real deep into our contacts,

We got to shred a bunch of documents.

We got together, we got you a little gift here,

We have, uh, we have come to the conclusion that, um,

We haven't done one of those in years, man!

We heard you're selling it, and we we want to be the buyers.

We just got tossed out of this pub,

We just made a quick 25 cents.

We might want to avoid that, as well.

We must never act on those urges.

We must never, ever give in to them

We need an actual person.

We need Don Cheadle.

We need someone lovable, someone versatile,

We need to allow others a chance to speak for once.

We need to use our privilege

We need to use our privilege

We should be able to speak

We should be silencing Black voices.

We should have never left America!

We should have never left you, buddy!

We simply need to redistribute the blood.

We talked about the election,

We took that one first class ticket,

We want you to know that we are allies.

We we brought you to Ireland.

We we run our own bar,

We were gonna sell masks.

We were talking about beheadings earlier.

We were two American businessmen who took out a legitimate loan

We won't stand for it any longer.

We'll all be seeing clear.

We'll get out of your hair. Come on, Dad.

We'll just put them in the past, and we'll move on.

We'll look at it all together and then maybe

We'll pay the appropriate price for a roller rink.

We'll put it up on a board.

We're getting kicked out. Someone lied and I got angry.

We're gonna ask you a series of Philly related questions

We're gonna be less effective back there, but...

We're gonna have to do some real soul searching.

We're gonna try this again.

We're gonna, we're gonna pick her up.

We're in Ireland, and I was looking for Dad's house,

We're just gonna carry the man to the top

We're not going to Scranton.

We're not gonna do that. We're not gonna do...

We're not in Pittsburgh. We're in Philadel...

We're not putting a turd in someone's soup, Frank, okay?

We're nowhere. We're nowhere.

We're running a thriving bar here, you know what I mean?

We're taking this goddamn monkey

We're we're in this charming little pub.

We're, uh, safe and sound in Patty's Pub.

Weak! Good. Very good.

Welcome to the worldwide headquarters

Welcome, and thank you all for coming.

Welcome, welcome. Shirley, let me take your coat.

Well well well, that's that's a little weird, Dennis.

Well, and his son. And the Holy Spirit.

Well, as I was saying, I am...

Well, Charlie, order me one then.

Well, come on, it'll be quick. It's only a couple boxes.

Well, go ahead, answer it, bitch.

Well, he is a pimp.

Well, he made about 50 mistakes. (CHUCKLES)

Well, horses have flies. That makes sense.

Well, how can I help you?

Well, I am the director of the TV show

Well, I don't know how something like that could possibly happen.

Well, I don't know what the point of making a movie is

Well, I don't know what to do with her.

Well, I don't know, like, are we in Pittsburgh right now?

Well, I I don't, I don't love this Dennis, but,

Well, I went home

Well, I'm just sorry that

Well, I'm not coming back to Philly, Frank!

Well, I'm...

Well, if "Gaelic" or "Irish" is is what you call

Well, if we had a really giant windmill,

Well, it is bros before hoes,

Well, it's not, it's not even real.

Well, it's that monstrous spine of hers, you know?

Well, look, I don't know how it works,

Well, maybe we could go there. That could be pretty.

Well, no country specifically.

Well, no, I haven't noticed a smell so much,

Well, of course, you're confused, Gary.

Well, okay, well, how much do you have total?

Well, one of the last socially acceptable groups to villainize

Well, that one's empty, but, yeah, you never know.

Well, that's the trouble with heads, isn't it?

Well, that's what makes America the greatest country in the world.

Well, the country sounds good.

Well, the Hornets have the coolest colors, man.

Well, the thing of it is, um...

Well, then maybe I ought to get my neck done.

Well, there is no bill. It's free.

Well, there you go asking a bunch of questions again, Tony.

Well, there you go. You happy?

Well, there's a a palpable sadness in here.

Well, they they're trying, right?

Well, uh, actually two,

Well, uh, I'm heading off.

Well, uh, listen, now that we've cleared up

Well, uh, listen, we have a a lot of people

Well, uh, not for your acting teacher.

Well, uh, well, no, I can read this. Here, check this out.

Well, w wait a second. Did you guys notice

Well, we don't need any more of those kind of masks.

Well, we... we honor their spirits.

Well, well, yeah, I mean, they would've been works of art

Well, what I mean is,

Well, why else would I be coughing and wheezing?

Well, yeah, 'cause you're using it as food,

Well, yeah, but you're not as Irish as me.

Well, yeah, we're here for you,

Well, yeah, you know, they do have sandwiches.

Well, yeah. When I got him to the hospital,

Well, yes and no.

Well, yes, but even by saying, "Allow,"

Well, you do that, and... don't...

Well, you know, it ain't just me.

Well, you know, it's a castle, Dee.

Well, you know, we're gonna hire a girl to do Dee's job.

Well, your language leaves a bit to be desired,

Well...

Well...

Well... (CHUCKLES)

Well... [SCOFFS] does Mom know about this?

Well... just me and you, huh?

Went insane and beheaded all four children.

Wh What? No.

Wh... [SIGHS] Dee, I'm sure there's, like, a furnished area

Wh... What's this?

Wha What is this? Where am I?

Wha...

What about the Brando thing, Frank?

What am I, a botanist?

What are we gonna do about the rink?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing in this park in my neighborhood?

What are you doing out here with a toiletry bag?

What are you doing?

What are you gentlemen celebrating?

What are you talking about, Dee? This this place is amazing.

What are you talking about?! The smells...

What did you want me to do, Dee?

What do you call it? What is that?

What do you mean why? It was your idea.

What do you say we go back down there,

What do you think about this, then?

What does he know about our experience?

What does that have to do with anything?

What ever happened to free speech, huh?

What if I poop the bed?

What if it's not a guy? What if it's a woman?

What if Riggs and Murtaugh

What if we burn the body and carry the ashes up the hill?

What if we slide him up the steep part of the hill?

What if we went into business, like, for ourselves?

What if we...

What is happening?

What is he talking about, Dennis?

What is that?

What is that?

What is this delicious drink? This is good.

What is this? What's going on?

What is with you guys and Pittsburgh?

What is, what is this? Who, who wrote this?

What movie did you say this was from?

What non...? There is no non shot kind, Frank.

What ruse? You asking us to go on a hike

What smell?

What the heart wants.

What the hell are you doing out here?

What the hell are you doing? You're not Irish.

What the hell is happening?

What the hell is this?

What the hell is this?

What the hell was that about?

What the hell was that? That's hot as shit.

What the hell you're talking about. I I can't follow.

What was I supposed to do?

What was that?

What was that?

What we're talking about here is replacing Dee,

What what is that...

What what is this?

What what time is it? What day is it?

What what would explain something like that? You...

What what?

What What's the work?

What whatever we want to experience

What you talking about, man?

What, do you think I'm shooting COVID laser beams

What, do you want to walk into a castle...

What, what are you gonna do? I got to get rid of 'em.

What, what the hell, what the hell is that?

What?

What?

What?

What? If you have gas, take it out in the hall, okay?

What? No, no, they're homemade meatballs.

What? No!

What? We're back home?

What? What do you mean this is not my kid?

What? What the hell are you talking about?

What? You're you're not vaccinated?

What... Well, take a mask, will you?

What... whoa, what? What are you talking about, man?

What'd I miss?

What's going on? Y You want us to, um...

What's in the soup, Frank?

What's next? Come on. The phone.

What's the deal with this monkey, anyway?

What's the lesson of the last one? Don't look at my shit?

What's this, what's that?

What's this? Now, I hope you're not, uh,

Whatev whatever your name is. Um, listen,

Whatever we want to feel,

Whatever, okay, I think the studio's right up here.

When did you hear the call to become a priest?

When I made the original sin of being born.

When it happens naturally, I like it.

When it's stuck in a wheel bearing.

When society hits the brakes, I hit the gas, baby.

When to pour the boiling substance on him because

When we, uh, we got a pretty good idea.

When we're finished with this place,

When you are listening,

When you're in need, the government comes in

Where does he get off telling our story

Where he promised to never, ever do it again.

Where I will, uh, douse him with boiling oil

Where I'm about to be saddled with an enormous bill.

Where the characters were in the first two,

Where they put the thing in your arm with the chip,

Where Where's Shelley? You said he was coming with us.

Whether Trump had won or lost.

Whether you bust a nut or not.

Which brings me to rule number two,

Which consider rat brains a delicacy,

Which is wrong.

Which makes you look weak.

Which of of course you know, Gary,

Which she has the right to do.

Which will help you be a better actor.

Which, by the way,

While also pointing out all of his character flaws,

Who abandoned him when he was a child, by the way.

Who aren't as badass as you,

Who have odors and don't make people smell them,

Who is a better athlete, Donovan McNabb or Rocky Balboa?

Who is that?

Who is this, bitch?

Who is this?

Who is Uncle Eddie Savitz?

Who knows how I feel will help keep me

Who needed a situation fixed.

Who or what I am, you'll never see me again!

Who spend all day learning about shit

Who wants one? Spritzer for Mac, spritzer for Dennis.

Who you talking to?

Who's gonna be in there to laugh with me?

Who's horribly shrieking

Who's, uh, named after a woodwind instrument?

Whoa, dude, there's got to be, like, $80 in there.

Whoa, hang on a second now.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa. This place has a dark past.

Whoa. Whoa.

Whose wailing warns of impending death.

Why am I in a hospital? [SPITS]

Why are you doing this to me? Why?

Why can't we just be normal?

Why did you get a monkey?

Why did you guys act like you knew what it was, then?

Why did you have to get the teeny, tiniest car possible?

Why do we hate Chris Chelios?

Why does nobody old know how to wear a mask?

Why don't we just move on from this, guys?

Why don't we write down key words?

Why don't you feast your eyes on

Why go all the way when a simple hand job will suffice?

Why is it always so goddamn hot?

Why is it always something crazy with you? Goddamn it!

Why is she explaining so much?

Why weren't you looking?

Why would you deliver such sad news

Why would you not take the shot?

Why?

Will you just be here for me?

Will you look at this? It's all foam.

Will you stop?! You're just...

With a real hot Irish doctor.

With a vacation spot for us, you know?

With Charlie finding his biological father,

With him, in the rectory?

With long, stringy hair,

With only old people for the rest of our lives,

With that kind of business, you know what I mean?

With the exception of all the sheep wool.

With the hair thing... what are you, some kind of freak?

With the hilarious American tourist?

With the hot flashes and the mood swings

With the idea of travel lately, like, um,

With you losers, okay? 'Cause you're losers.

With your dad, and us saying "yes"?

With, like, bedrooms and shit somewhere. I mean, what, do you,

Without conscience, so...

Without even including us at all?

WOMAN: Pop culture is a religion.

WOMAN: Ticktock, buddy. Your hour's almost up.

Won't you get lonely in there? What if it gets cold?

Would a Dutchman stand?" Okay?

Wow, look at that.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow. I wouldn't have been able

Write down a destination on the napkin,

Writers are dorks, okay?

Wrong again. Acting is ignoring.

Wrong! Wrong! Okay.

Y Yeah. Okay.

Y You're not thinking straight, Cassandra.

Y... You'll both sleep on the cot?

Yeah I got a tent. I got a tent.

Yeah, and we were really worried that the mainstream media

Yeah, and we will pay any price.

Yeah, but I'm trying to use it to wake her up.

Yeah, but if they don't feel comfortable, you know, like,

Yeah, but it was a real headache,

Yeah, but the lyric is, "Let me be your guy,

Yeah, but you got to cover your nose, dude.

Yeah, but, I mean, Luther Vandross? Mac, really?

Yeah, calling him a narcissist, saying he was mentally ill,

Yeah, do it, bitch.

Yeah, dude, the roller rink business is booming, man.

Yeah, everybody knows him.

Yeah, Frank, I'm not seeing a present for me.

Yeah, hang on.

Yeah, he's got an agenda. Uh, but either way,

Yeah, he's okay.

Yeah, I don't have anything that beeps.

Yeah, I found it in the trash.

Yeah, I get it.

Yeah, I got off at Sepulveda,

Yeah, I I'm sorry. I just don't find crass humor that funny.

Yeah, I made it in, like, two hours.

Yeah, I mean, like, right, that's what I mean.

Yeah, I was hanging on the bag a little bit. You know, just

Yeah, I... I'm Charlie.

Yeah, I'm back in the motherland finally!

Yeah, I'm fine, you small haired cunt.

Yeah, I'm gay. What are you talking about?

Yeah, I'm in Ireland.

Yeah, I'm just nervous, dude. I've never done something

Yeah, I'm Persian.

Yeah, it turns out they had their own security there

Yeah, it was nice.

Yeah, just eat a meatball. Eat one.

Yeah, nailed it.

Yeah, no shit!

Yeah, no shit! Just just come pick us up, all right?

Yeah, now, normally, I don't call Dee a bitch.

Yeah, of Ronald Reagan, but...

Yeah, okay. Uh, all right. Stepping away, Smoke.

Yeah, perhaps I owe you a...

Yeah, th the name's a little confusing,

Yeah, thanks.

Yeah, that's a good point. It's continuity.

Yeah, that's him. Okay.

Yeah, the guy who sold him to me

Yeah, the House of McDonald is

Yeah, there's a lot of money in roller skating, like,

Yeah, they're good ones, too.

Yeah, uh, to be clear, you will be the assistant director.

Yeah, uh...

Yeah, um, listen, the point is,

Yeah, we could really use your positive attitude.

Yeah, we did, we did. Look, look, look.

Yeah, we're here for Charlie.

Yeah, well, all right,

Yeah, well, normally I would agree with you, Frank,

Yeah, well, uh, good news.

Yeah, well, uh, so did Dee, actually.

Yeah, well, why would I want to ruin my essence, Mac?

Yeah, what I'm saying is Silly String's not so silly

Yeah, whatever.

Yeah, whatever. Just be here tomorrow at 7:00 a.m.

Yeah, with their gun we could've gotten killed.

Yeah, y... Maybe I'll just, um...

Yeah, yeah, it looks as though the makeup

Yeah, yeah, that's a whole bowl of stew

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, here. I got you. Let me just...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I sent her out to lunch,

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Also, you keep saying that, and I don't know

Yeah, yeah. But I... you're, like,

Yeah, yeah. Charlie and I, we're the last tit on the hog

Yeah, yeah. Go on.

Yeah, you hungry? You want a sandwich?

Yeah, you know what? I I'm not doing it, either.

Yeah, you want to make sure that waves are, you know...

Yeah, your sister's a stitch.

Yeah!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

Yeah. [CHUCKLES] Cool, huh?

Yeah. And Irish, so...

Yeah. Apparently, the monkey's grandfather

Yeah. Guys, please,

Yeah. He he's shredded it down

Yeah. I already feel like I'm home.

Yeah. I'll tell you, there's only one thing left to do.

Yeah. I'm good. I'm good.

Yeah. O Or I can just sit in the corner and watch.

Yeah. Sounds good.

Yeah. We have to keep him in the basement in America,

Yeah. We really didn't change that much.

Yeah. Well, well, hang hang on a second.

Yeah. Well...

Yeah. What about the women?

Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah, but before you judge me, know this:

Yeah... Yeah, I I don't understand the script.

Yep, nothing to it but a little latex and blush.

Yes, and I also think...

Yes, dude, that's what I've been telling you this whole time.

Yes, Father. Got it.

Yes, He does. Yes, He does. Remember the flood

Yes, I was on the sex island,

Yes, I'll take it! I'll nail it!

Yes, I'm aware.

Yes, look... [SIGHS]

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Great. What?

Yes. I I was, like, right there with you.

Yes. Uh, yeah, right away. Guys, I got to run.

Yes. We could become really successful bar owners, right?

Yes. Yeah, I simply asked him

Yes. Yes!

Yo, Frank.

Yo, Mac.

Yo, pal.

You all right?

You all voted for Kanye West?

You also get, like, the magical mystical element of this place,

You and only you have the knowledge,

You are a terrible negotiator. How do you...?

You are not talking,

You be safe, sweetheart. Dennis,

You can go your own way. You're your own man.

You can smell fresh peat grass burning in the fireplace.

You can stop.

You can't bear to leave 'em behind!

You can't beat 'em no more, so they had to set 'em all free.

You can't dump your rubbish in the beer!

You can't get killed 'cause there's not...

You can't smell something that's got no odor, Frank.

You can't wear street clothes at work.

You caught me a little off guard, is all.

You come back, you're grand.

You conservative little minx.

You could do it a little bit more...

You definitely have COVID, man.

You did collapse and shit yourself

You did? What?

You didn't behead me, you stupid idiot.

You didn't bounce me on... You weren't there!

You didn't carry me on your shoulders.

You didn't give him the note.

You didn't read me bedtime stories.

You don't get praise for telling people you're not racist.

You don't know what you're doing! You're not even an actor.

You don't want them to know you.

You don't want to do what my dad does, okay?

You Dutch?

You goddamn bastards!

You gonna have to pay Pepper Jack,

You got drunks, you got Irish people, you got, um...

You got me. No, no. He's meeting me out there.

You got piss in that canteen?

You got to...

You guys are gonna want to hear this.

You guys like that name?

You guys to be so much older than me. Um...

You guys want to go to McDonald's?

You had a 105 degree fever,

You have COVID.

You have urges that, traditionally,

You hit your head pretty hard there.

You insufferable bitch.

You just can't do it.

You just have so much natural charisma,

You just violated the first rule of acting.

You know Don Cheadle?

You know those were stiff.

You know what I mean, Lisa?

You know what I mean?

You know what I mean? Nice job.

You know what I mean? We're into all the same shit.

You know what I'm thinking? 'Cause I'm seeing a lot

You know what we should do? Let's listen to some Kanye West.

You know what, guys?

You know what, guys? I'll tell you what.

You know what? It's me phone.

You know what? She just got her bell rung.

You know who doesn't talk throughout an entire movie?

You know, a true Kelly

You know, but, uh, while we're landing

You know, Dee, I, uh...

You know, Dennis looks like Jerry Seinfeld.

You know, guys, it occurs to me

You know, he slaved away as a cheese monster, or whatever.

You know, I just forgot to...

You know, I say, "Big bang."

You know, I slept with Dee that one time...

You know, I'm starting to get caught up

You know, it's been a very trying time

You know, like driving on the left hand side of the road.

You know, no offense, Charlie, but Shelley's fat as shit.

You know, people were going crazy in castles all the time.

You know, the the least we can do

You know, we were concerned that our guy

You know, well, along with the, uh,

You know, when I was Irish first,

You know, which wasn't a good look for the business.

You know, you get all the comforts of Philly.

You know, you get the banshees and the spirits and the sprites!

You know, you have the most beautiful eyes.

You know, you were shooting down all the other places

You know, your thermostats and your remotes and shit like that.

You know? All you're doing is complaining.

You know? Swerve, asshole!

You listen to me right now, Jeffrey. You listen to me!

You listened.

You made cheese together?

You might as well just skate over. Oh, Jesus Christ. [SIGHS]

You might as well just,

You need to leave!

You need to shut up, okay?

You need to spend some time with someone who's living it.

You never carried me up a hill.

You never picked me up from school.

You okay there, Dennis?

You people have shamelessly gamed the system

You said you were, you were born a certain way.

You see, legend has it

You seem a little nutted.

You should get this done in, like, a salon or something.

You should let me do the talking in there, okay?

You should not be actually having sex with anybody.

You shush! You shush!

You son of a bitch!

You sure? 'Cause this is the House of McDonald.

You tell me that.

You think a monkey can run a bar?

You think we got to fire Pepper Jack?

You took right in the grill.

You understand that, don't you?

You want a guy who knows how to party.

You want an authentic European experience.

You want an authentic Irish experience?

You want me to eat the meatball?

You want to buy my joint?

You want to get some more information on that?

You want us back at the hundred feet?

You want... you want to get some stew?

You watched me bang, I mean, and now you're whining.

You were amazing.

You were here for me!

You were supposed to carry me!

You were supposed to carry me.

You were too weak to even lift the ax.

You were...

You weren't there to enjoy him so I enjoyed him,

You wine and dine the man

You work for me now.

You would not believe how many quarters

You you killed my dad with your stupid banshee curse.

You you think I can't pinch off a cough?

You you you take that liquid meat body bag,

You!

You.

You... are screaming!

You'd like to bang to a weak little bitch

You'll be hearing from the IRS.

You'll burn the place to the ground.

You'll go to a new parish, they sort the family out,

You'll see, you'll see how funny I am.

You're a woman of color?

You're being nice. What are you doing?

You're better than a writer, right?

You're embarrassing me in front of my dad here, man.

You're getting rid of all the other tattoos

You're gonna go cry to your mommy. It's too much.

You're gonna put me through to the director,

You're gonna want to borrow it from, like, an uncle or a friend

You're hallucinating.

You're hitting it way too hard, pal.

You're implying that you have all the power.

You're in a casting office, not Jurassic Park.

You're in an era where we worship celebrity.

You're Irish. Right, but we knew you were gonna be

You're just being honest about how you feel.

You're late. You were supposed to be here an hour ago.

You're lucky this time... Production's running behind,

You're making me realize something here.

You're missing the big picture here, Dee.

You're none of those things,

You're not even gonna recognize it.

You're not gonna be able to walk back to the city

You're not Irish.

You're not trying to bring us closer together,

You're not walking out of here without the payment.

You're probably never gonna see that guy again

You're right.

You're right. Okay, maybe you could say,

You're still wearing the same sweatshirt.

You're sucking and slurping away.

You're talking about thumbing through vending machines

You're talking to the castle?

You're telling me that you provided the iconic costumes

You're the only one that didn't get vaccinated.

You're throwing it in a keg, seriously?

You're trying to drive us apart!

You're two hours late.

You're welcome.

You're welcome. I took a gander at 'em and...

You've got, like, two percent Irish in you,

You've tampered with it, and...

Your brother, the cheese monster.

Your father's?!

Your flow is great. I think what you're doing's great.

Your good thieves. Best in town.

Your guys' names are on those documents, too, remember?

Your head is a lie.

Your mom was a giant whore, right?

Your parents never did,

2,000. There's a little something in there for you.

18, 19. [CHUCKLES] Worth every penny.

25 cents is not gonna get us shit, man.

...and murder. Wait, what?

...and murder. Wait, what?

...even more successful than it already... No, no, no. Stop.

...of humiliation... [ALL EXCLAIMING]

...Pepper Jack. Yeah.

...stop dealing drugs at work, okay? Blowing up.

'cause I skated to work today. Oh, Jesus Christ.

'Cause I think... Oh, dude, shut up! Oh, my God!

'cause of these snowflakes? Not allowed to do it no more.

'cause we're gonna go on vacation now. Right.

'cause you're the director. Yeah.

"as far back as..." Wait, wait, wait, wait a second.

"Purple." Mm.

(CHUCKLES) And my level of intensity

(CHUCKLES) He's, uh, ignorant. Anyway,

(CRYING) (PHONE RINGING)

(DOOR OPENS) FRANK: This is unbelievable.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) Oh, no!

(EXPLOSION)

(GASPS) Oh, shit. He's right. Yeah.

(GROANS) Ew.

(HORN HONKS) See, the Irish are so accommodating.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER) That's a cool name, isn't it?

(JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING)

(JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING)

(JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS)

(LAUGHS) Right?

(LAUGHS) Right? And this is funny

(LAUGHS): Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was, uh, that was Mac and I.

(MEN WHOOPING) All right.

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER) Goddamn it, Dennis.

(PHONE RINGING) Oh. What's that?

(STAMMERS) Frank...

["POT OF GOLD" BY CHRISTOPHER BEATY PLAYING]

[BABY CRIES] Oh!

[BLOWS WHISTLE] Dooley, come on, man.

[BLOWS WHISTLE] Watch it.

[BOTH LAUGH] I know.

[CHUCKLES] Delightful.

[COUGHING] Oh, oh, Dennis, hey.

[COUGHING] Well, wait for me. I'm not staying, either.

[COUGHING] Yeah.

[COUGHS] This place is not perfect.

[COUGHS] Uh oh.

[COUGHS] Two... What? Yeah. A mother

[DOOR CLOSES] Beautiful day, isn't it? Huh?

[FRANK CHEWING LOUDLY] Yeah, no, that... that doesn't make sense.

[FRANK SHOUTS] [GASPS] Oh, Christ!

[FRANK SUCKING] You know, it's good to have some truth about...

[GAGGING] Ew.

[GROANS] Yeah, so, um,

[GRUNTING] Is he all right?

[GRUNTING]: Damn it! That's what he's saying.

[IRISH MUSIC PLAYING] DEE: Dennis.

[LAUGHS] "Psych"?

[LAUGHS] [WHOOPS]

[LAUGHS] Hey, can I talk to you guys

[PAGER BEEPING] There's my beeper. Oh, shit.

[PHONE BUZZING] Oh.

[PHONE RINGING] Oh, is that my beeper?

[RETCHES] Oh! I knew it!

[SCOFFS] Why? Why?

[SCREAMING] [LAUGHS]

[SCREECHES] [NARRATOR READING]

[SHOUTING] [SCREAMING]

[SIGHS] Evening.

[SIGHS] You're a livesa... Grab my hand, and I'll... Psych!

[SMACKING LIPS] And my my...

[SQUAWKING] Mm. Mm hmm.

[SQUEALS] Yeah, yeah, right. So... Sorry.

[STRAINING]: Bitch. Bitch. Oh, boy, did you hear that?

[STRAINING]: No, no. Oh, yeah.

[TIRES SCREECHING] I got a gat.

[WHEEZING] Hello?

[WOMAN SCREAMS] Oh, Jesus Christ.

♪

♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ I got five on it... ♪ Hi. I I'm Charlie.

♪ I got to leave ♪ ♪ Get down girl, go 'head, get down ♪

♪ I got to leave ♪ ♪ Get down, girl, go 'head, get down ♪

♪ I got to leave ♪ ♪ Get down, girl, go 'head, get down ♪

♪ I got to leave ♪ ♪ Get down, girl, go 'head... ♪

♪ I've forgotten. ♪ Not him. Give me somebody else.

♪ Just get on the horse and... ♪ Uh, wait, wait.

♪ She give me money ♪ ♪ Now, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger ♪

♪ When I'm in need ♪ ♪ But she ain't messin' with no broke, broke ♪

♪ When I'm in need ♪ ♪ But she ain't messin' with no broke, broke ♪

A banquet... What?

A banquet... What?

A kiss? [STAMMERS] No! Come on, give me a... lean down, give me a kiss.

A tsunami. (OVERLAPPING AGREEMENTS)

Aah! Is that piss? Whoa!

about giving us a new loan for Paddy's Pub. Okay... (SHOUTING)

Absolutely. Give me one minute. Hey.

Ah, goddamn it! All right.

Ah, man! Hey, he's probably faking it.

Ah, my special little helper. Hey. Hey.

Ah, shit! Oh...

Ah, yeah. Wow.

Ah. Well, buddy, that sounds like COVID!

All all the way... MAC: I'm just trying to stick it in her mouth.

All right, all right, boys. Ah, that worked out good!

All right, well... Ooh, that's steep.

All right! Gary. This is a relief.

All right. I got to take a break.

All right. Um, so, I'd like to clarify

All right. Yeah.

All right. Oh. Ah, this is gonna be good.

All right. Yeah. We'll take care of you.

An authentic Irish... (HONKING HORN)

and a lot of being scared. DENNIS AND DEE: Yeah.

And a stink, right? Like... Yeah. Yeah.

and and maybe a bunch of cheese monsters. I don't know. Aw, come on, man.

and and we need to get involved. Mm hmm.

and bails you out. Nothing made me more money

And don't be late again. Absolutely. I won't be late.

and get us out of here. Yeah.

and he's embarrassed about 'em. Look...

And hoes, too. Ugh.

and I just, I feel like you could... Okay.

and it's extremely off putting. It was just a joke.

and not just your boss... [PAGER BEEPING]

and not the worst tattoo? You're keeping the shamrock?

and now it's all starting to make sense. It doesn't make sense.

And now, yes! Oh!

And our guy knows how to party. Right? (LAUGHTER)

and she'll be back to spreading her sunshine again, right? Yeah.

And so what I got to do is... You need a phone instead.

and that way not one of us decides... Oh.

and then we'll be back, but... Thanks for keeping things safe.

and they wanted them really fast. We were in a rush.

and two people wrote down colors? We're sorry, we're sorry.

and you need to go to the hospital. Silence!

And, uh... I know. Uh oh.

Animal pelts! What are we doing with animal pelts?

any of that bogus fake I.D. bullshit. Yeah.

are entitled white women. Mm.

Are my headphones working? Well, you guys, you're not in the way.

Are you drunk? I... these beers are a little strong...

Are you guys shooting without me? Dee's here.

Are you Irish? Uh uh.

Are you messing with me? No.

Are you serious? Yeah.

Are yours, are yours working? You guys are... Yeah.

Aw, I shouldn't have used a screw. Jesus, Frank.

Aw, I'm gonna... Go to the bathroom and clean it up.

Awesome! All right, good.

Baltimore is not exotic, Frank. No.

because I can't stop thinking about the election. The election.

because I love this guy. I love him. Oh, yeah.

Because if we don't, who will? Because if we don't, who will?

Bees are scary. What about,

Bent out of shape. Yeah.

Bingo. Bingo.

but has retained her traditional love of the game? Yes.

but I'll come back. No, no, no.

but loves flowers? Right, right, right.

but please leave my set. Hmm?

But we can go on. Yeah. Yeah.

C Cut. Goddamn it, Dee!

Can we just go home? Yes.

Can we talk about that... the shamrock tattoo? That was...

Can you guys please help me? It's okay, Dee. I got you,

Can't say they weren't good costumes, Gary. They were great costumes.

Charlie, banshees aren't real! Ow!

Charlie, there. Here?

Charlie, you sure you don't want to... What?!

CHARLIE: Uh, what? Why?

CHARLIE: We are. And speaking of time, um, you are late.

CHARLIE: Yeah, yeah. Size 11 skates, please.

CHARLIE: You don't even like hand jobs. Fine. You can get a hand job,

Charlie! Hey.

Charlie. Oh, hello.

Chew it. Chew it. [GRUNTS]

Christ. What is this? What are you doing?

Come on, man. Okay, okay, okay.

Come on! Yeah!

Come on. Can we please not drop my dad?

Come on. Give me a kiss. What are you doing?

could blow him up. Good. Oh, yeah. Huh.

Cut the bullshit. What's your angle? What are you doing here?

cut, cut, cut, cut. No. FRANK: 'Cause, uh...

Cut. Yeah, cut. Cut.

Daddy! (GROANING)

DEE: Yeah, yeah. Yes.

Dee's a goddamn bitch! (CHUCKLES) Yeah. Uh,

Dee's nuts. Now I said it. [LAUGHS]

Dennis would be creaming in his pants if he saw this. Yeah.

DENNIS: Huh? Yeah.

DENNIS: I can tell. CHARLIE: Yeah.

DENNIS: Oh, yeah. Yeah. But, uh, COVID forced us

Did you not watch the... I'll do it good.

Did you think about? I did, too. God.

Do you hear something? Yeah.

Don't worry, Dee... Hi, Dee. Was it the stew that woke you up?

Don't you dare! Oh, I'm gonna do it!

Done. DEE: No.

Eh... We could, but...

eight, nine, ten mistakes. Guys, let's not get into it, FRANK: It wasn't red, it was brown.

Equal doesn't quite make sense... Hey, you know what,

Ew. That's gross.

Exactly. Oh, FYI, I'll know exactly

Fau... That's a great name. Who is that? I know.

Feels nice. Sure. Nice when it happens naturally.

Fire. Oh!

for an equal partnership with us. Yes.

for his events were idiots. Yeah, but that's 'cause

for, uh... [KNOCKS ON WINDOW]

Frank, shut up, man. Why? You didn't tell her?

FRANK: Car! DENNIS: Yeah, I see it, Frank,

FRANK: Who? The perfect woman with the perfect

from the top anyway! I thought about it.

Garments and Varmints. He doesn't care what we call

Gentlemen. MAN: You got the stuff?

Get a cooler sign, you know? Yeah.

Get more pelts. What pelts?

Get this woman off my set! Don't you start!

Give him the note. Just tell him to tone it...

Give me your best arguments. Sure.

Go on, Shelley. Frank, you eat a meatball.

Go on. Go on. No, don't don't don't eat them.

Go, go. You're embarrassing me. Where's the bathroom?

God, no. That stew's gross. Yeah, man. Stew?

Goddamn it! Well, wait wait a minute.

goddamn it! Listen. What? No!

Goddamn it. That tracks, that tracks.

Goddamn it. That's not a place.

Goddamn. All right. What?

Gonna char him up? Yeah.

gonna sink. Help me out.

Good night. Yeah, yeah.

Good to see you again. Brian.

Good, good. Yes.

Got to go? Where you going? Yeah, I got to go.

Great, do it, let's go. That...

Guys, take five. Yeah, I say that.

Guys, wake up. Huh?

Has anybody floated out Pittsburgh? Ah.

Have you got a temp check yet? What are you talk...?

He wants to experiment. No. That's not what I'm saying, no.

He wants to try new things. That is not what he said.

He's from Ireland, man! Jesus Christ! Okay, look.

He's jealous. Yeah.

He's our guy. Have you seen him onstage?

He's really good. He's the... he's a real actor.

He's the real deal. Okay. Here comes our new villain, guys.

Hello? H Hello!

Hello... W W Waitress?

Here they come. Is this the guy?

Hey, buddy! Charlie! Charlie!

Hey, guys. Hey, Sweet Dee. Hey, Dee.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. What's up, fellas?

Hey, hey. DENNIS: Uh, Mr...

Hey, no whipping. [BLOWS WHISTLE]

Hey! Here they are. There's the college guy.

Hey. [OVERLAPPING EXCLAMATIONS]

Hey. Oh, there's got to be a better way.

Hmm? A banquet of humiliation.

Hmm? BARTENDER: Yeah.

Hold the briefcase. Okay. Thanks, Father.

Holy shit, man. Oh, that's that's that's...

How about a blow job then? Um...

How do you know that? Charlie, I have

How do you think that's gonna go? Well, what year is it?

How much weight was she bearing? I don't know.

Huh? It's only one line, but...

Huh? Okay. Trump?

Huh? Stepping away there, boss!

Huh? Wha...

Huh? Yeah, and we don't want to see

Huh. When I pass, I'll have the same done for me.

I asked you first! Okay!

I bet, yeah. Monkey.

I bet. So that's why I want

I can handle the driving. Oh, just go faster, goddamn it!

I can't believe I don't smell that. It stinks.

I can't work like this. No. (STAMMERS)

I coughed it out. Yeah. Gross. Yeah.

I don't care, go to the bathroom... I can't get it out.

I don't know. Uh, you don't know?

I don't love you. Then what is it?

I don't need your help, Frank! Hey, don't go!

I don't smell it. Guys! Guys! Hey, acting emergency.

I don't think we're gonna get the loan, either. No.

I don't understand... I like purple.

I feel like he was carrying a ton of weight. Yeah.

I feel like it's classic. I I got you. Oh, you got me.

I feel used. I feel misunderstood.

I finished the stew. All right, uh, maybe

I got a lot of things wrong. Yeah.

I got to say, too, that still felt respectful. That wasn't so bad. Ah.

I hate this place. It's the worst!

I hope not. Yeah.

I hope you're having as much... Honey, what is the matter?

I I'll play Murtaugh. No! No, no, no, no.

I just... Well, what did... what did you trip on?

I know more about Ireland than you do. Hey, stop!

I mean, don't you agree? Yes.

I mean, he's electrifying onstage. Yeah.

I mean, she doesn't... She comes in screaming. That was the worst.

I mean, you got one? I got... Yes, I got a mask.

I see the car, stop! Mac, stop! Goddamn it.

I see what you're saying now. So so what do we do?

I think, you know? We should've done this from the very beginning.

I thought you thought it was funny. Nope.

I told you not to do it, man. I know, I know, but, look,

I want it gone. We want it gone! It's a bad tattoo, Mac!

I was excited... And, yeah, uh...

I was thinking about it, too, yeah. Yeah, well, you got

I will get you. Hey, uh, well, just quick tip

I will not be paying for anything. Got it.

I wonder if he's cute. Who?

I, too. You know? Is it, is it just me?

I... Well, I don't think it's that obvious.

I'll be back after my date. I'll kill you.

I'll eat it. CHARLIE: All right, fine.

I'll play Murtaugh. Goddamn it, Mac.

I'll see you in a little bit. Ah, have fun, Dee.

I'll take a spritzer. Bros before hoes, Dee.

I'm gonna need a jackhammer. You're using a screw.

I'm in love. She's half chicken

I'm just gonna squeak by you. Hmm.

I'm ok... yeah. I got you. Step.

I'm open to it. (SIGHS) She is a prostitute, so I don't know

I'm ready to explode." Yeah.

I'm so sorry to just call you out of the blue like this... Faster.

I'm sorry? Father...

I'm the director. DENNIS: Okay, listen. Listen, Frank.

if we can't even be in it. Yeah, or bang whores.

If you want them votes to count. That's right.

in a sex trafficking ring. Alleged.

in all of the country. That's reasonable.

in Lethal Weapon 7. Yeah.

in no particular order. Mm hmm.

In your faces. That's right. Ah...

into displaying those movies in the first place. Yeah.

Irish experience. Okay, just pull over, all right?

is charming as shit. Yeah.

Is he gonna get rid of the tattoo? He's not gonna get

Is it the black eyes, like...? Because I don't trade

is potentially problematic. I don't know. Yeah.

Is that it? Is that what it was? Yes, that could be it.

it actually makes sense. Right? Okay. All right.

It doesn't make any sense. I don't know,

It don't work the other way. Yeah, it does.

It is small. I'm getting squished back here

It is so good to see you. (WHOOPS)

It it was not clear. I said write down a destination,

It was a fun thing. and it was a joke,

It was fun... There was a one time incident,

It was wicked hard, yeah. We're doing this for you!

It wasn't? Uh, no.

It's a very, uh, aggressive name. It's very cool.

It's also frowned upon. Okay, you know what? Let's not... Six, seven,

It's gonna be fun. We're over, we're overthinking it.

It's gonna get... Oh. PEPPER JACK: Uh, excuse me, gents.

It's incredibly confusing. I'm sorry.

It's just not working. Okay, cut,

It's not fun, is it? It's no fun.

It's not working for me. Cut. Okay.

It's probably just, like, allergies or something. (HORN HONKING)

It's stew. What's the update, man? Stew.

It's still cool, though. Oh, my God.

It's the hair. What's the hair?

It's working. You're doing it. You're pushing me under.

It's, uh "Patty's" with a T. CHARLIE: Yeah.

It's... That's easy. Okay.

Jesus. Uh, I think

Just chopped their heads right off. Well, that that is...

Just neutral. Yeah. Not not culturally...

Just walk up there, you say, "How much?" Mm hmm.

Just yellow? Just the color yellow? Uh, well, I panicked.

Keep it on. I'll just get it out of here. Okay.

Let's get going on it. (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

Let's get some GORP. All right, get it out.

Let's just take a rest here, all right? Yeah.

Let's make a movie! Let's dive in.

Let's see. You know? Let's see it there.

Let's spritz Dennis, Charlie. I don't really want one.

Let's start the party now. Yeah.

Let's take a five, everybody. Let's take a five.

Let's talk to her. Excuse me, ma'am? Ma'am?

Liar! What the hell are you doing?

Like you did to Dee's doctor guy? Well, what?

Like, that would scare me. Imagine seeing that. Bees! Bees are cool.

Little more Pepper Jack. DENNIS: Hey, man,

Luther Vandross? Come on, Mac.

Ma'am, yes. Hi. Ma'am.

Ma'am? Are you from Philly?

Ma'am. Are you, uh, registered to vote here?

MAC: Fix it, Charlie. Fix it. All right, yeah.

MAC: We are your allies. Up top. Allies!

MAC: We got... We'll grab him a coffee. We'll grab you a coffee,

MAC: Why? I don't like her voice.

MAN: Put your seatbelt on. Seatbelt?

MAN: We're protesting the election. Yeah!

Maybe, guys, let's have a couple of spritzers. Spritzers!

Mm hmm. Oh.

Mm hmm. Right, because the the first time

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Grab a napkin.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Mm. Oh, yeah, 'cause they're all out of work now, you know?

Monger, Charlie. Cheesemonger. FRANK: Cheesemonger.

Monkey, monkey, monkey beer! Monkey! Four more!

Monkey! We'll drink monkey beer while we're doing it.

Monkey. Four more monkey beers, monkey.

Move. Wait, what is...

My father's! N... louder.

My father's! Yes!

my father's. Bigger.

My phone is buzzing off the hook in my pocket. Oh, yeah.

My stupid what? That's why he died.

N No. Yes.

Nah, she didn't. She did not. She totally did. Hey, Mom?

Nah, that's good. That's good?

Neither are you. Oh, you bitch!

Nice work. Do you all see that?

Nice! Nice. DENNIS: Uh, Joni Mitchell, yeah.

Nice. Okay, that's good. No, well... no.

No, Charlie. Just go!

No, help yourself. Delightful.

No, help yourself. Delightful.

No, I I don't get it. DEE: Point is,

No, I'm say... He's one of the greatest

No, it's not just you. Okay, yeah, 'cause I'm not

No, it's terrible. It's pretty bad. We'll change it.

No, no, no, he won't. One time.

No, no, no, no. CHARLIE: Good thing you woke up.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Thank you!

No, no, they're for Charlie. Charlie...

No, no. I could consecrate them.

No, right. I have the power to do that.

No, stop it! You're squishing me! Car! Car!

No, that's that's not crazy. No. No, not at all.

No, we're not! Right, guys?

No, you can't. At all?

No, you didn't! Because we are always there for each other.

No. Are you telling me that Dad changed his last name?

No. Did you still want to do that?

No. Explain this to me.

No. I'm talking about us banging,

No. No.

No. No. No, right?

No. Okay. No.

No. Right.

No. Um...

No. What do you mean, "no"?

No. Yes.

No. (STAMMERS) Mm. Marlon Brando

No. [GRUNTING] Uh, we would be looking for a castle,

No. I think we should just... Yes.

No. She's a cunt. She's a cunt. You want our movie to be fun.

Now we cooking. All right. Okay. We're cooking.

Now you're asking me to leave? Yeah.

O Okay. All right.

Of course we could, dude. Like, the most

of Emerson, Lake & Palmer? Mmm.

of Frank's Fluids. Uh huh.

Oh my G... What was that? Oh, sorr...

Oh, 9 1 1. Take it outside. I don't want to see...

Oh, absolutely. Damn right. 100%, pal.

Oh, cool. What's the meeting about? Business, man.

Oh, Dee, let it go. Let it go! Uh.

Oh, do they not? Nah, it's not funny, it's dumb.

Oh, G... No.

Oh, God! Yeah, he did. That is what happened.

Oh, goddamn it! You were taking a ride?

Oh, good luck, Daddy. Thank you, honey.

Oh, how's that for being resourceful, Charlie? Oh, okay.

Oh, I didn't see it. Right.

Oh, I do want to be a better... Shh. I'm not done.

Oh, I don't know. Not scald him! Oh, come on.

Oh, I'd love a soda. I'd love a soda.

Oh, is that right? Yeah, I'm sorry, guys.

Oh, it is kind of nasty. Yeah.

Oh, look at the board. We did? Yeah.

Oh, Mac. Yeah, you were, uh... Yeah, Mac had a note.

Oh, no, dude. I would never make fun Of course not.

Oh, no, no, no. No.

Oh, no! Well, what the fuck?

Oh, no. No.

Oh, no. Go on. Help yourself. Ah.

Oh, right. Yeah.

Oh, seed! I got you. Yeah?

Oh, thanks, guys. You rock! MAC: Let's go, Sweet Dee!

Oh, that's good, then. They'll find the body. Ah, yeah.

Oh, that's super nice of you. Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's this guy. I'm gonna get a beer. Boom.

Oh, there's kids! Are there kids? Oh, shit. Yeah.

Oh, wow, okay, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, you missed it. Oh, oh, no.

Oh, yeah! Yay! Sure, sure.

Oh, yeah? You think? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's our guy.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yes! Wait!

Oh, you are my hero. My legs are stuck.

Oh, you dumb bitch! Okay. Security!

Oh, you! All right, you know what? Fine.

Oh! [PHONE CAMERA CLICKS]

Oh! Hey, Dee!

Oh! Hey, guys.

Oh! No, look, 95% of what went on down there

Oh! Oh, shit!

Oh! Oh, shit! Oh, my God.

Oh! Oh, shit! Ooh!

Oh! Mac drank all the spritzers. Goddamn it, Frank.

Oh! You all right? You you okay?

Oh? We got to go find out. I got to, we got to find out.

Oh. (PHONE RINGING)

Oh. MAN: The whole thing is a sham.

Oh. Oh, shit.

Oh. Oh, wow.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. [CHUCKLES]

Oh. Ooh, right. The two mistakes.

Oh. That's how it works.

Oh. What? Ugh.

Oh. Whoa, Dee!

Oh. Yeah, don't worry about it.

Oh. Cool. Yeah, I mean, I dig it here, man. Yeah.

Oh. Okay, cool. Yeah.

Oh. Okay. Uh... Okay.

Oh... Oh! [GLASS SHATTERS]

Okay, fine. Okay.

Okay, fine. I'll give the note. Can you just let her speak?

Okay, okay. Now, well, look, this this is good!

Okay, that's my bad. Oh.

Okay, uh... Ooh.

Okay, what else do we need? What?

Okay, yeah. That works for me, yeah. Okay.

Okay, yep, yep. No, I won't. And don't be late.

Okay? Please go ahead.

Okay? We are allies.

Okay. Do it, bitch, go!

Okay. I don't... I don't like him.

Okay. Oh.

Okay. There's a smell, yeah. And a lot of women have this,

Okay. This is a huge day for me

Okay. Yeah, but should we try to scramble our way down there

Okay. Oh... Oh, God. [SPUTTERING]

Okay. Want a GORP? Anybody into GORP? Yeah.

Old people? Uh huh.

on mistakes. Okay, you get one, right? Mm hmm.

on the straight and the narrow. Yes.

One, two, three. Two, three.

Ooh, vacation? Mm hmm.

Ooh, wow. Is that poop?

Ooh! Oh!

Ooh. Yeah, yeah. Frank, look, while it is, uh, awful

Or a woman who loves football but hates flowers? Hates flowers.

Or how about a... how about a wine spritzer? Ooh!

or something like that. Yeah. Okay.

Or strike. Or attack. CHARLIE: Yeah, yeah. Well, see, normally,

Our democracy is at stake. Yeah.

Out. Hello, sir?

Ow! That's what we should do.

P A T T Y. What is going on?

Pelts for what? Oh, you bitch.

Pepper Jack? Yeah, you know this guy?

Phew. Yeah, yeah. Okay, all right.

Please stop doing that. Oh, come on, man!

Plus he's got a fever. What?

Pop the tent out. Let's get it. Let's get it. Dude, help me

Positive energy. Cool. Positive.

Precisely, yes. Wait a minute.

Psych! [LAUGHING] Oh...

Put your seatbelt on. Seatbelt?

Really? Finally, somebody gets it.

Really? You know what, man?

Right? 'Cause, dude... What do you mean?

Right? It wasn't clear. Frank looked at me...

Right. CHARLIE: Yeah.

Right. Hence, we created Punch Incorporated.

Right. I mean, we...

Right. MAC: Now we have

Right. We're just sliding him up this one section. That's it!

Right. Yeah.

roles for sex. Oh,

says slow, we say go. That's right.

Screaming. Cackling like a witch.

Screw this, I can't do this. You're leaving?

Security! Don't you...

See you. So sweet. Have fun. Bye.

She didn't say that. Yes, she did. She did.

Shelley's not made up. He's your imaginary friend

Shoot the tires. Um...

Should we check it out? Yeah.

simple fix. Great.

Smell the stew, okay?

So can we do that? Let's do this.

so I forget and sometimes I serve myself. Huh.

so I imagine y you get a lot of 'em here. [LAUGHS]

So it's not confusing. Oh, it's confusing.

So what? I'm gonna show it to you! You want to see it?!

So why don't we, uh...? Okay. Yeah.

so you can't tell I'm on skates. What? No.

So, give him the note. So, you...

some kind of flair for this business meeting. Yeah.

something to do...? Were you not carrying it?

Son of a bitch! No, I don't have time for this!

Stop! Would you just... There's gay or badass. CHARLIE: Let it go, Mac!

Take off the skates. Yeah, but if I take off

Talk to me. Excuse me?

Tell me what? Ha. Well, well, that doctor showed up

Th Thighs? Where... What? Why thighs? Yeah. Yeah.

than I was anticipating. I like this beer.

Thank you, Charlie. Let's go home. Right? Yeah.

Thank you, Pepper Jack. Thank you. Hey, no problem, man.

Thank you. There you go.

That doesn't even make any sense. Climate change? That's so dumb.

that I've whole had on me this time. (PHONE BEEPS)

That is her right... Of course, it's 2021... DEE: That's fine. Yeah.

That is what it is. That's so weird.

That looks bad. Yeah, I got myself a bit of a hematoma here.

That was all Charlie. You know what I'd like to do?

that would blow your mind. Thank you, monkey. Wow.

That would've been stupid... (TIRES SCREECH)

that you've had since you were a kid. Dude, he's not my

That... All right, you know... Okay, you're right.

That's also frowned upon. Oh, Christ Almighty.

That's as American as it gets right there. (AGREEABLE CHATTER)

that's decidedly less charming, isn't it? It's a little less charming.

That's good, that's good. Um...

That's Kanye. Kanye West. Kanye West.

That's like magic. Yeah.

That's not a great look. That's not...

That's not a place? No, it's not!

That's not Dennis? Whether it's Dennis or Ronald Reagan,

That's not good. Come on.

That's okay. Oh, right. You wear men's.

That's pretty cool. Yeah.

That's Ralphie. He's fused. Yeah.

That's that's really good. Thank you. I'm sorry.

That's true. A lot of learning, a lot of growing,

That's true. We've also done a lot of growing.

That's what he said. [BOTH LAUGHING]

That's what I was thinking. Okay.

That's what it is. Well, no, that...

That's what we did. So why don't we just, uh,

That's your severance pay. My sever...

the business. I believe that the man does!

The corner here. Yeah.

The election. Yes. Oh, my God. Yes. Ah...

The integrity of the election, right? Because I I... Yes. Yes.

The last time we were there. That's right.

The role is "abused wife." Yeah.

The show must go on, right? Yeah.

Then why am I doing it? (GASPS)

There it... there it is! Ah.

There she... there we go! Wakey, wakey, Dee!

There we go. Yeah. Boom. Okay.

There. Oh.

There's a bar around the corner? Yeah.

There's no way I'm... (OTHERS SHUSHING)

These are our guys? Yeah, I think that's him. Yeah.

These Hollywood... Oh, my God.

They can? Yes, and so can the Church.

They got pulled? Yeah. The lady said they took them down

They help them soar. ♪ ...let me have any rights... ♪

They probably did, yeah. Oh.

They tell you, and then... Uh huh.

They will simply move to avoid us. Uh huh.

They would've been huge hits. Oh, absolutely.

They're they're starting the dance. All right, here we go.

This can't be happening... Well, slow down now.

This is a piece of shit. (MAC SIGHS) Yeah.

This is crazy. No, it's not that crazy, Mac.

This is gonna suck, but let's just... Bros before hoes. Bros before...

This is, like, the place for rats. Yeah, yeah.

Three more. Yeah. All right.

to a little tiny nub at this point. No!

to do the right thing. Mm hmm.

to keep things safe, and they just kicked us right out. (CHUCKLES)

to play it safe, you know? You never know. Got to be sure.

to vote on another pressing matter. Mm hmm.

Tonight it is. [IRISH BROGUE]: Tonight it is.

Totally. It's a slippery slope until we are living

Uh huh. The perfect woman, I mean.

Uh huh. Yep. Oh.

Uh huh. Is that a cat? It was.

Uh, ah... [GRUNTS]

Uh, here we go. [THUDS]

Uh, let's move past that. MAC: Yeah.

Uh, thank you for your patience. [ENGINE STARTS]

Uh, the chances of this person walking in... (DOOR OPENS)

Uh, the men that is, not not women so much. Hmm.

Uh, we'll take it. Any price. Well, well, hang on a second.

Uh, well, I... That's what the director... Well, let's get to places.

Uh... FRANK: Ooh.

Uh... Holy shit.

Uh... So you're gonna stay in the room?

Uh... Yeah, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Uh... You know what?

Uh... Oh. Oh, thank sweet Jesus. (LAUGHS)

under her nose. MAC: Okay. Okay.

unravel my entire identity? Nothing's unraveled!

Wait, I got scratches, too. Oh, shit.

Wait, let me get this bag... Let's go.

Wait, wait, now I'm stuck. You're stuck?

Wait, wait, wait. Ah, Jesus.

Wait, wait, wait. Goddamn it, dude.

Wake up, buddy.

was not pedophilia. Oh, yeah?

Wash it out with Gatorade. Goddamn it, Frank!

Way to go, son. Well...

We absolutely did. Because we wanted to be supportive.

we can't keep a... Yeah. Okay. All right.

We could blow him up the hill. Oh, giant windmill

we could turn this bar into something... No, no, no.

We didn't unravel anything! You're still you!

We don't know if we'll take it. We haven't even seen it yet. Stop saying that.

We haven't seen a sheep. The sheep, the sheep.

we made that one mistake, and that was... Mm hmm.

We own the roller rink? Yeah.

We should have... Yeah! I miss Philly.

We should really open up our... DENNIS: Yeah, absolutely.

We'll go back to the hundred. Let's let's... We're gonna...

We'll stay a little bit further away. We'll keep things safe.

We're going on a day hike. Nah, I just want to make sure

we're having here. It should.

We're on your side. (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)

We've been on top of each other for a long time. Yeah.

Weird. Yeah.

Well, come on in. Cool.

Well, fine, we'll try your thing. Logical.

Well, hopefully, Murtaugh's good. Yeah.

Well, I got to go to the source. Of?

Well, I probably would tease you, too. Yeah, but but,

Well, she looked right. Well, you got to look both ways.

Well, that's nice to hear. [CHUCKLES]

Well, that's nice. Okay. And they'll call the cops.

Well, you... Okay. Uh, yes. Can you let her speak?

Well... I think he was waiting for the applause.

Well... Oh, yeah.

Went all out, huh? Shirley, you over there.

Were you hanging on it? No!

Wh Why? Why?

What are we even talking about, man? Hey, what's up, Brian?

What are you? Dutch.

What bell? Go to the old bell tower

What do you guys think about that plan? Okay.

What do you think? Gus,

What else do we need? Uh, uh, pelts.

What if she's a witch? What if she's a witch?

What if we chop the body up? Come on.

What is that? Yeah, it's real bad.

What is this man talking about? I...

What the hell is that? That's a mask.

what the rules are... I don't want butter to get involved.

What thing? Oh, the show? Uh, the acting thing?

What? Are you seriously? You can't beat monkeys?

What? Faster.

What? Huh?

What? It'll be a dinner.

What? Mm.

What? What?

What? What?

What? Yeah.

What? Men... Menopause? Oh, for real? Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

What? No. We're not... Turd in the soup.

What? Still? Goddamn it, Frank!

What? What is it? I don't know.

What? You might shit the bed? No, no, no.

What?! Jeffrey Epstein?!

What's Dad? Dutch.

What's wrong with the lyrics? (SIGHS) It's the fly thing.

Whatever? Listen, can...

Where is...? Hey... Whoa. Well, hold on a second.

Where props came from, et cetera. Sure, sure.

Where you going? I'm out.

Where... I got no more buckets.

Where'd you get that? Yeah, how are you getting to that?

which was really cool. [BOTH LAUGH]

Whiskey beer, yeah. ...beer?

Whoa, he's really good. He's good.

Whoa. [SCOFFS] Email? Mark my words,

Whoa. What? Excuse me?

Whose thighs? Yeah, well, maybe he's got thick, grotesque thighs

Why did it get lighter? Oh, my God.

Why do you have a piss one? Well, here, here, here.

Why do you have canteens full of piss? I... No.

Why is he talking about manatees? They...

Why is there always a piss one with you? Oh, give me that.

Why would we do that? Because the monkey

Why would you do that? And by the way... the tattoo? The...

Why? Because you have the same last name.

Why? Look, suffice it to say,

with love. Mm.

with my father. It's jammed in there, Charlie.

with this thing. You got to... you got to... I got it.

WOMAN: Hello? Hello!

Would you like a sandwich? Yeah. You want something with meat on it?

Wow. Oh, this place

Wow. Okay. Yeah. Very nice.

Yeah, but listen... Oh.

Yeah, get rid of the shamrock. So, you you thought you'd just

Yeah, he he does a real number on it. [RETCHES]

Yeah, he he he's got a gun, so... That's a gat.

Yeah, he's got us. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Yeah, I got that. Yes. Yes, I have that.

Yeah, I'm gonna go to bed in here and... I I'll stay...

Yeah, I'm sure you do have a good pullout game, Pepper Jack. (PHONE RINGING)

Yeah, it sure did, Frank. It sure did.

Yeah, it's gonna be easy. Okay. Let's make a movie.

Yeah, let's get some more information. Yeah, okay, yeah, 'cause you

Yeah, let's go. Let's go. Yes.

Yeah, no, we did. That's exactly what we did. (OTHERS AGREEING)

Yeah, no. Okay, we've got it.

Yeah, our guy got screwed, man. Sham.

Yeah, probably. Yeah.

Yeah, that's from us to you, so... Yeah, from us to you. Uh...

Yeah, that's not gonna look cool, right? Okay, fine. Yeah.

Yeah, we got a lot of 'em, you know? Hey, when the world

Yeah, we got sandwiches from a place, and, uh... Are you hungry?

Yeah, well, and Frank did red face in... What?

Yeah, what is it? I don't know what it is.

Yeah, whatever. Say hello to your sister.

Yeah, where are we going? Where we going? Where we going?

Yeah, yeah, that's him. Absolutely. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I ain't paying for it unless I get a hand job.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Oh, man. Let's go, Dee!

Yeah, yeah. All right.

Yeah, yeah. Guys, Lethal Weapon 5 and 6 are in the past.

Yeah! Guys, I think we're finally on vacation.

Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

Yeah. 1998.

Yeah. All right, come on, let's go buy this rink.

Yeah. All right.

Yeah. Also, there's a smell.

Yeah. And, guys, fear is a great motivator to do the right thing.

Yeah. Are you joking?

Yeah. CHARLIE: All right. Oh, cool.

Yeah. Come on.

Yeah. Definitely. First thing we do.

Yeah. Have you ever thought maybe you were related?

Yeah. I may be Irish, but I'm American Irish first!

Yeah. I think so.

Yeah. I totally forgot.

Yeah. It does smell like fish.

Yeah. Might be fun for them. Oh, yeah, it'll be good.

Yeah. Mm hmm.

Yeah. Mm hmm.

Yeah. No, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom,

Yeah. Oh, yeah, sorry.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Doesn't make sense.

Yeah. Our guy parties.

Yeah. That would be another one of his annoying identities...

Yeah. They were works of art.

Yeah. Uh, oh, guys, actually,

Yeah. What do you mean, "yeah"?

Yeah. What were we gonna do? We had to branch out.

Yeah. Why?

Yeah. Yeah, all right. Look, Frank, you can stop.

Yeah. Yeah, because Hollywood decided

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you've

Yeah. Yeah, your mom does not like you, dude.

Yeah. Yeah? Then you drank yourself

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Let me get it out. Let me get it out.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, the birds will get him.

Yeah. Yep.

Yeah. You guys remember that night?

Yeah. You know? Yeah.

Yeah. All right, well... I was trying to get

Yeah. All right. Yeah. Yes, please.

Yeah. All right. Let's go, sis. Come on, Dee!

Yeah. I'm sorry... Yeah, wh why are you talking about Trump?

Yeah. Let's do it. All right. Let's go buy a roller rink.

Yeah. Looking good. All right. Go, Dee! [WHOOPS]

Yeah. Okay. (PHONE BEEPS)

Yeah. Okay. Well, okay then.

Yeah. Right, right. I don't want to say that...

Yeah. Well, yeah. He wants to go somewhere exotic.

Yeah. Well... Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel that.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't want to waste any more time.

Yeah. You guys remember that? Mm hmm.

Yeah. You know, Right.

Yeah. You're not Dutch. What?

Yep, here here he goes. Here he goes. [RETCHES]

Yep. What's Dad's last name?

Yep. Let's do it. Here we go. Yep.

Yes, yes, yes. (WHOOPING)

Yes, you're doing it. No, you're pulling me in.

Yes. Absolutely. Right?

Yes. Because you... Can you give me one second?

Yes. He wants to go to Fire Island. He wants to go to Greece.

Yes. Now, uh, obviously, I will not be playing Murtaugh

Yes. There's... No. Yes.

Yes. What are you doing?

Yes. Yeah.

Yes. You know, lucky for you, I happen to have experience

Yes. Yes! Make it whatever we want. Yes.

Yes... Yeah, yeah. That's the American way.

Yo, I got to make a call. If Smokey sees you with that thing, man,

Yo, what's up, Charlie? [SIGHS] Dude.

Yo! That's us. Yeah. Yep. Yeah.

You are Irish! You're an Irishman!

You can't get shot. CHARLIE: With their gun!

You can't leave me here. Great job!

you could support me a little bit... All right! All right!

You did purple? Two of you wrote colors? Yeah, I...

You didn't see that there, did you? No.

You do? Yes.

You don't know how? [SIGHS] No. I don't know anything.

You don't... Okay, yeah, we don't know, uh, we don't know what it is.

You got about 15 minutes to get to that TV studio. Oh, God.

You got me. I got you, and you got me. I got you.

You got the moves, Charlie. Oh, baby.

You got to wear it, though, Frank. It's on. I got it on.

You guys can give it to him. No, you give it to him

You guys got to try this. Really?

You have to... Oh, God, it's so hot.

You know what I mean? What is he talking about?

You know what I mean? Yeah. Burn him.

You know what it is? He's a mongrel. [BARKS]

You know what the problem is? Yeah.

you know, 'cause we're guests, so, yeah. Oh, yeah.

you know, on and off screen. You've played...

You know? That could be.

You listen to me, you bitch. Get her, banshee.

You mean... Yeah.

You still want to do... That's not gonna happen. Oh, no!

You thirsty? Yes.

You want to see it? No, I don't want to see it,

You were gonna give some notes. Yes. Uh, yes. Uh...

You weren't even holding it. Oh, no. Come on, dude.

You're doing it. Let me out.

You're gonna have to pay for it. Let's get Charlie a sandwich.

You're good. Thank you.

You're Irish. You're Irish. You are Irish!

You're kicking my seat, okay? That was close.

You're leaving us waiting out there forever. No, no, no. Come on in.

You're out of your mind. No, she's out of her mind.

You're sick. No, I don't have COVID.

You're taking pills? Mm. Mm.

You're telling it wrong. Gary gets it.

You're... different. Mm hmm.

You've always been you! Fine. You know what?

You've seen him onstage? All the way. Yeah, man.

Your back? Your back? You've always said

Your face. I'm kidding. No, I got you. Okay.

Your father's?! Louder.

Yup. Right. Well, uh,

Yup. Yeah, right?

...but we let fate take over.

...but, like,

...Dad.

...many of the stories in the Bible are metaphors.

...of all your future earnings,

...of humiliation...

...the real money is in the Halloween costume space.

...you throw the bags in, they throw the money out,

'Cause cause you got to keep the...

'Cause I could give you the punch line

'Cause I'll be running the place someday, so...

'Cause I'm I'm dead serious,

'Cause if you cough in there, they're not gonna rent us

'cause it did end up being mostly costumes.

'cause it shoots in Ireland, baby.

'cause it's buttoned to his pants

'Cause it's kind of, like, old and wooden.

'Cause natural beauty.

'cause one of his ticks is that he brutally masturbates himself.

'cause our guy did not get a fair shake.

'cause real friends don't slow each other down, right?

'cause that'll throw me off my game.

'Cause that's the last thing I want to see.

'Cause they drive on the other side here!

'cause we slept together, you know?

'cause we're way out in the...

'cause women are alcoholics who hate their kids.

'Cause you can barely swallow this sludge.

"by the liberal media, successful businessman,

"Down there, there's barely anything left."

"Fauch the Grouch."

"Fauch."

"Garments and Varmints"?

"How much do you want?"

"I got five on it."

"I'm sick of getting jerked around.

"Mama needs wine."

"Monkey beer island

"Obnoxious American MILF #1"?

"Obnoxious American MILF" reporting for duty, sir!

"settled in the Lee Valley

"The McDonalds of County Cork

"Uh, uh, what would a Dutchman do?

"Vacation"? You just said

"Whiskey beer island of green and fight."

"Yell"... "Yellow"?

(ALL SHOUTING)

(ANNA PANTING)

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)

(AUSTRALIAN ACCENT): G'day, former partner.

(BAGPIPES PLAYING)

(BELL TOLLS)

(BOTH LAUGH)

(CARTOON MUSIC PLAYING)

(CHUCKLES) I'm just trying to understand

(CHUCKLES) Man... Whew.

(CHUCKLES) Out of the, uh,

(COUGHING)

(COUGHING)

(COUGHING)

(COUGHING): I'm not sick.

(CRYING)

(GROANS)

(GROANS) Wait a minute.

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTS)

(JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING)

(JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING)

(LAUGHING): Well, that's...

(LAUGHS, SNIFFS)

(LAUGHS) How'd you guess?

(LAUGHS) What?

(LAUGHS): I know you do, but, honey, I got you a gift.

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER, AGREEMENT)

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER, AGREEMENT)

(PHONE RINGING)

(PHONE RINGS)

(QUIETLY): All right.

(REGULAR VOICE): Now, the labeling... in hindsight,

(SCOFFS) See? This is exactly what old people always do.

(SCREECHES): Are you looking to party this Halloween?

(SHUDDERS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS) Artemis, did did you give Pepper Jack the note?

(SIGHS) Just stop. Okay.

(SLURRING): Society break, I got gas.

(SOUTHERN ACCENT): Pop your votes

(STAMMERS, GASPS)

(STAMMERS)

(STAMMERS) A pleasant odor, to be clear.

(STAMMERS) Uh, 100%. Yeah.

(STAMMERS) Woman.

(TIRES SCREECH)

(TRIO CHANTING BACKWARDS)

(TRIO CHANTING BACKWARDS)

(TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)

(WHISPERS): Yeah, tell him to tone it down.

(WHOOPS) All right. That's a relief.

(WHOOPS) Uh, sorry about that, everybody.

(WINCES) wash... it off.

["JUST A GIRL" BY NO DOUBT PLAYING]

["PRAISE YOU" BY FATBOY SLIM PLAYING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

[APPLAUSE]

[BERNARD HERRMANN'S "PRELUDE" FROM PSYCHO PLAYING]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[BOG BUBBLING]

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[BOTH LAUGH]

[CACKLES]

[CHRISTOPHER BEATY'S "POT OF GOLD" PLAYING]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES] I think what they say is, "Top o' the mornin'."

[CHUCKLES] Smokey loves me, dude.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah, this was in 2008.

[CHUCKLES]: That's tenth century charm for you.

[CHUCKLES]: Well, yeah.

[CHURCH BELL TOLLING]

[COUGHING]

[COUGHING]

[COUGHING]

[COUGHING] Dee, just go to bed.

[COUGHS] and have it feel like a Hyatt?

[COUGHS] Ew.

[DENNIS GASPS]

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

[GAGGING, HACKING]

[GAGGING]

[GASPS]

[GROANS]

[GROANS]

[GROANS] Clementine? Valentine?

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]: Bitch.

[GRUNTS]: No.

[INDISTINCT SCREAMING CONTINUES]

[INDISTINCT SCREAMING]

[KNOCKING]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS] Ireland, baby!

[LAUGHS] That happens.

[LAUGHS] Yeah.

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER]

[MAC CHUCKLES]

[MAC GASPS SOFTLY]

[MOCKINGLY]: Oh, oh, oh, are you?

[MUFFLED, INDISTINCT TALKING]

[MUFFLED]: Delicious.

[MUSIC PLAYING IN CAR]

[NARRATOR READING]

[NORMAL VOICE]: You know what you could also use?

[ORGAN PLAYING]

[PANTING]

[PANTING]: Okay.

[PHONE CAMERA CLICKS]

[PHONE CAMERA CLICKS]

[SCREAMS] [COUGHS]

[SHEEP BLEATING]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS] Goddamn it.

[SIGHS] I've always had so many questions, you know?

[SIGHS] Man, can't trust anybody.

[SIGHS] That's gonna be really hard for me.

[SNIFFS]

[STAMMERS] And definitely not with each other.

[STAMMERS] I didn't want to watch you have sex.

[STAMMERS] Just butternut squash. A simple soup.

[STAMMERS] Just to see if they can fly,

[TRIO CHANTING BACKWARDS]

[WHEEZES]

[WHEEZES]

[WHEEZES]

[WHEEZES]

[WHEEZING LOUDLY]

[WHEEZING LOUDLY]

[WHEEZING]

[WHEEZING]

[WHIMPERS] Help!

[WHIMPERS] You drunk bitch!

[WHISPERS]: Dude. You have a gun?

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪ 'Cause I can't fight this feeling ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm just a girl... ♪

♪ "Far as girls, you got a flock ♪

♪ "I can tell by your charm ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ A dad I didn't know I had ♪

♪ A dollar and a half just to see 'em ♪

♪ A fiddle dee doo, a fiddle da da ♪

♪ And I am Frank, and I factor in somehow. ♪

♪ And I can't fight this feeling anymore ♪

♪ And I got to take all they bad... to ShowBiz? ♪

♪ And then we find new seeds to sow ♪

♪ And they charged the people ♪

♪ And throw away the oars ♪

♪ Anymore ♪

♪ Brand new pair of roller skates ♪

♪ But I'm lookin' for the one, have you seen her? ♪

♪ But the second chance is better still ♪

♪ Cast your vote and make it clear ♪

♪ Don't it always seem to go ♪

♪ Don't it always seem to go ♪

♪ Don't you think I know ♪

♪ Exactly where I stand? ♪

♪ Forever ♪

♪ Freedom is the choice you have ♪

♪ From what I heard, she got a baby by Busta ♪

♪ Girl, you give me feels when I see them heels ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Hooray! Hurrah! ♪

♪ I can tell by your charm and your arm" ♪

♪ I don't care what none of y'all say, I still love her ♪

♪ I pulled up in the Benz, they all got up in ♪

♪ I rode my bicycle ♪

♪ I roller skated to your door at daylight... ♪

♪ I'm exposed, and it's no big surprise ♪

♪ I've forgotten what I ♪

♪ If I don't get some shelter ♪

♪ If you... with this girl, then you better be paid ♪

♪ Is it Rocky or McNabb? ♪

♪ It's just a shot away, it's just a shot away ♪

♪ It's just a shot away, it's just a shot away... ♪

♪ It's time to bring this ship into the shore ♪

♪ Let me be your guy ♪

♪ Let's ride on a horse, making love out in the fields ♪

♪ Long way together ♪

♪ My best friend said she used to... with Usher ♪

♪ My boy has found me, and now I'm glad ♪

♪ My psychic told me she'll have a... like Serena ♪

♪ My very life today ♪

♪ Never mind them flies ♪

♪ Never mind them thighs. ♪

♪ Now, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger ♪

♪ Now, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger... ♪

♪ Okay, get your kids, but then they got their friends ♪

♪ Ooh, a storm is threatening ♪

♪ Ooh, bop bop bop bop ♪

♪ Ooh, bop bop bop bop ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah, I'm gonna fade away ♪

♪ Out in the fields ♪

♪ Past your window last night ♪

♪ Place your voting choice in here ♪

♪ Place your voting choice in here ♪

♪ Place your voting choice in here ♪

♪ Place your voting choice right up in here ♪

♪ Put 'em in a tree museum ♪

♪ Right here. ♪

♪ She said, "I can tell you rock ♪

♪ So come ahead and join along ♪

♪ So come ahead and join along. ♪

♪ Started fighting for ♪

♪ Take this pink ribbon off my eyes ♪

♪ That you don't know what you've got till it's gone? ♪

♪ That you don't know what you've got till it's gone? ♪

♪ The first time round is a bitter pill ♪

♪ The Kelly lads, the Kelly boys ♪

♪ The Kelly lads, the Kelly boys ♪

♪ They drink and laugh and make their noise ♪

♪ They paved paradise, put up a park... ♪

♪ They paved paradise, put up a parking lot ♪

♪ They took all the trees ♪

♪ This world is forcing me to hold ♪

♪ Through the hard times and the good... ♪

♪ To grow our love we didn't know ♪

♪ Trina, Jennifer Lopez, four kids ♪

♪ War, children ♪

♪ War, children ♪

♪ We all went to din and then I had to pay ♪

♪ We drink and laugh and make our noise ♪

♪ We sync right up with all their songs ♪

♪ We'll sync right up with all our songs ♪

♪ With a baby Louis Vuitton under her underarm ♪

♪ You got a brand new key... ♪

♪ You know why? It take too much to touch her ♪

♪ Your hand ♪

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