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Home > Stewie Griffin Sounds: Family Guy...
After 20 odd years of marriage, your curious indiscretions no longer face me.
Ah.
Ah.
Air supply.
All right, let's just get through this.
All right.
All this time spent keeping people from having sex and now I know how the Catholic Church feels buzzing.
Alright, where is it? Where's the wire? Show yourself, Klaus.
And and and yet you've taken that and and used it out of context to insult me in this everyday situation.
And I think she and I are going to have a good time together.
And I'm Stuart.
And that gets you off, doesn't it?
Any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me? As long as we're hitting these phenomena the height of their popularity.
Are you ready to hear our Mad Lib?
Ask Stewie about his sexy parties. What were you thinking?
Baby needs to suck ash. Baby needs to suck ash.
Bang, my girlfriend.
Brian.
Bring their trash in here. This is my house.
Brother, please. You're the one who's tripping. Go on, cry home to your Mama. She waiting for you.
Buzzing.
Chihuahua.
Cinderella had three wicked step watermelons who were very smelly to her, so her fairy God toilet turned the pumpkin into a Fanny and sent her off to the poop. Ohh my how ruthlessly absurd.
Clear throat
Clip Studio.
Come back in this instant, you fat bastard, and do her.
Come talk to me sometime, sweetheart.
Consider yourselves lucky. I'm not after your gully holds.
Delete.
Didn't notice you there.
Do you ever think of growing a mustache?
Does anyone else smell Astroglide?
Don't be such a nerd.
Don't you look at me.
Dostoyevsky.
Dropped a little too much of the old LBJ.
Drunken.
Duh.
Engine status.
Excellent.
Fine.
Fine. Why do you ask?
For God's sake, don't be such a nerd.
For the next 5 hours, you're my bitch.
For you, you, you, you, you.
Fuel supply.
Gasp 2
Get out.
Give it to me. Give it to me now. Damn.
Go on, cry home to your Mama. She waiting for you.
Go suck a railroad spike. I haven't got any money.
God still vile woman.
God, I pray this is not my first memory.
God, why does that turn me on?
God, you're so funny.
Good evening.
Good Lord.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Got kicked out for drugs.
Ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha.
Has smelled death on you.
Hello, Doreen.
Hello, mother.
Hello.
Hey big man, turn around.
Hey.
Hey.
Hi there.
Hi.
How dare you condescend to me? I demand justice.
How do you do?
How old are you, Charlie?
How you can be somewhere else from the boys Don't call.
How you doing there, big guy?
I accept your challenge.
I am going to kick your ass.
I beg to differ.
I certainly am not overreacting.
I do her, do her, wouldn't do her Who hasn't done her do her. Lose the pigtails and we'll talk.
I don't know, haven't seen Frank or Glen or Halip, Steve.
I don't think this is for me. Thanks anyway. And for the future. He came on a little strong.
I don't want to go with you. Could be.
I feel like such a bastard.
I have no intention of returning to that disgusting hovel with that intolerable woman, that fat slob and that insufferable dog.
I have other ways of obtaining the truth.
I have your address.
I hope you're happy.
I knew it.
I know it creeps me out too.
I know you've been plotting to foil my plans of world domination.
I like Fatty.
I mean, really, how am I supposed to follow that act? Bite the head off a chicken?
I saw a man bear his soul up here, and his pain ran through my heart like an errant locomotive. But it was wasted, wasted on all of you.
I say we buy $26 worth of ice cream and just pig out.
I see. I've always wanted to spend a year in Prague teaching English. You know, slacking off a bit, but really getting to know myself.
I smell a messy diaper.
I think you are a special person.
I thought we were just having a perfectly innocent conversation about literature.
I was being sarcastic.
I won't do it.
I'd love to stay in chat, but you're a total bitch.
I'll say goodbye to you now.
I'm afraid I answered your question with another question.
I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to do this in the time I quoted you earlier.
I'm going to be on television.
I'm insane. I'm Martin Lawrence on a Bender.
I'm lethal.
I'm sorry, I'm afraid I answered your question with another question.
I'm still over at the Griffin job.
I'm. I'm here.
I've seen it sitting in there, lazy, slothful porcelain lay about feeding on other people's Doo doos while contributing nothing of its own to society.
I've, I've got, I've got one. I've got one. OK, two men are standing at the Pearly gates. Ohh God. Wait, how did that one go? Oh well. Anyway, it turns out they're Siegfried and Roy. I'm no good at...
If you got something to say, say it to my face.
If you're ever going to be a lady, you must learn to speak like 1.
It wasn't right the first time you said it. Why the hell would it be right the next 10 times?
Jaja.
Jesus Jones.
Just because your breath reeks of rotten Lunchables doesn't mean mine has to.
Laugh 3
Let me out of this stink filled corduroy dungeon.
Lethal.
Levinson, Frankel, Glenn or Hair Lips, Steve.
Little did I think we all know what that means, boy. Those.
Look at how fat you are.
Look at you there.
Make any joke you want. You know I look good.
Mealy mouth, crotch, pheasant.
Men be acting all like zombies at the mall. God, ain't that the truth?
Morgan Freeman.
My cheeks are pinchable. My bottom is smooth. My laugh is heartwarming.
My ears are popping and there's no way to consume me. I'm hungry and possibly teething. Maybe I'm wet, Who knows? I'm a baby.
My So it's that easy to win you over?
Named Stuart.
No, I feel so deliciously white. Trash Mommy, I want a mullet.
No, I I should have said. I should have said.
No, I think that would be a bad idea, and I know something about bad ideas.
No, you can't hear me now.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Noon, Noon. Noon. If you're ever going to be a lady, you must learn to speak like 1.
Noon. Noon. Noon.
Not scrubbing vomit off your Christmas dress, you holiday drunk.
Now that now come on. I'm. I'm. I'm being serious. I'm gonna be serious here for a second. Are are you are you are you gonna listen to me? Are you gonna listen to me? So So I can tell you that I re...
Now, now, now what Jughead has done here, and it's really quite ingenious actually, is paint pupils on his eyelids so he can sleep through class without Miss Grundy being any the wiser.
Oh, oh gosh, that's funny. That's really funny. Do you do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh.
Oh, oh, oh, I I mean, I mean.
Ohh and your regular Rd. scholar.
Ohh do me do me next.
Ohh dog.
Ohh God, look at me having sex with a pig.
Ohh hello.
Ohh Lewis, he's done it again.
Ohh new new help ohh help.
Ohh that was lame.
Ohh we can dish. Talk about who's getting fat. Ohh, we'll just be great big bitches.
Ohh well, perhaps I could help simulate the experience.
Ohh, I am so up to it. Well, I am.
Ohh, look at how fat you are.
Ohh, that won't do.
Ohh, you're silly. You're silly. I I love that you go there you're you're silly.
Ohh.
Ohh.
Ohh.
Ohh.
Ohh.
OK then. So we'll keep in touch.
Ooo-ooo
Parker.
Patty Croft.
Perhaps I can move to California and wrangle me a three-way with the Olsen twins.
Really.
Right.
Roman Polanski's house.
Said the sex was good.
Screw it, I tried.
She needs to get laid big time.
Shut up, I'm having fun.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Shut up. You're not my mother.
Something's terribly wrong.
Spit
Spitting
Steve.
Stewart, Gilligan, Griffin.
Stuart Griffin.
Tell me where my tricycle is.
Tell me, how old are you, Charlie?
Tell Walter I'm not going to be able to make it to the construction site.
Thank God, something's terribly wrong.
Thank you.
That's so fresh too.
The end result of a drunken backseat grope fest and a broken prophylactic.
The French.
The Libyans.
The only thing I've held you back from is failure.
The sex.
The Spit Spot Albert Hall meeting 2 veg, Big Ben, Dave Clark 5 Spam and Eggs. Babies are holding an apple. Pip, Pip Cheerio.
The.
Then it dawned on me.
Then perhaps we should exchange monosyllabic expressions of arrogance in person.
There's times like this I wish they'd used me for stem cell research.
They got fat, man.
This calls for a sexy party.
This isn't the first time my wit has gone unappreciated.
To come up with with a joke like that all by yourself.
Tom Bosley.
Tom Cruise.
Trust me, woman, if I could walk on water, I would stroll you out of the middle of a lake and hold your head under until the bubble stopped.
Uh, no conversation.
Umm, I like your taste in women.
Umm.
Wait, wait.
We met on the Internet.
Well, come on.
Well, fire on the toilet. It's made slaves of you all.
Well, I shall.
Well, look at you there.
Well, my, my, you're practically a lady.
Well, that's not your voice.
Well, this is it. I'll say goodbye to you now.