Nathan for You - Season 3 Edit

A "bubble gum and sunshine" view of the world.

A 400 pound person to ride.

A alien tried to to pull him into the sun.

A death defying wire walk,

A dedicated Man Zone where guys can chill and relax

A diagnosis of insanity.

A few more hours, would it all just burn to a crisp?

A flying scarecrow

A full 3 D laser scan of Corey's face.

A goddess sitting right in front of me.

A horse can carry is 220 pounds,

A hotel client might get into

A little bit much for a...

A little confused at what's

A lot about fitness.

A lot of zippers.

A major business opportunity.

A massive company like Best Buy,

A mother effin' beer.

A plus sized man was able to ride a horse.

A popular outerwear company based out of my hometown

A real love story between you guys,

A real relationship.

A routine physical to make sure he was fit enough

A South Pasadena electronics store

A team of experts rigged a 3/4 inch steel wire

A third wheel, you know?

A tie. Nice shoes.

A while ago I was working with a jungle child

About him, as my plan would soon require me

About his sex life.

About L.A.'s hottest new smoking destination

About the darkest moments of history in a retail store.

About the dress code. Yeah.

About the one thing that's on every guy's mind.

About the performances of my romantic leads.

About the threesomes he has with his brother,

About the wire walk from one of the

About the workout and its founder, Jack.

About their kids' potential...

According to Best Buy's own policy,

According to Best Buy's policy,

Achieve it or to get into it.

Across the terrifying 80 foot drop.

Actually operated, I booked us an appointment

Aerial arts expert Richie Gaona.

After all my hard work, I felt sad and rejected.

After all, these ladies could be total kooks.

After presenting the flyer to sales associates,

After saying otherwise to an audience of millions,

After showing him how to use the portable toilet...

Again, you can use this in a court of law.

Against any antiques he might shatter

Against Best Buy, the potential of an ugly courtroom battle

Against the ******* people.

Ah.

Alen Harikian is the owner of Speers TV,

Alen has such a hard time competing with Best Buy

Alen might've said he wanted some TVs at a discounted price,

Alen was on board to move forward with dropping the price

All Emily had to do was catalogue the broken items...

All it is, is just being a male model

All it would take is for one kid to turn pro

All over the world can now ride horseys.

All right, smokers unite.

All right, so that's it.

All right, so... this is him?

All right, welcome.

All right.

All right.

All right. Yeah.

All right. You take it from here, okay?

All six applicants seemed qualified for the job,

All the essentials to make this room

All this talk about funerals and stuff

All we had to do was wait for the first couple to come in

All we need is a beer in our hand

All: Hi. Yeah.

Alligators, little doors...

Almost got me right there! Sometimes I get real close!

Along with expanding the audience section

Amateur tightrope walker Corey Calderwood

Amongst a selection of fleece socks and balaclavas.

Amy, do you want to show her a bit of your Ellen?

An age progression specialist I found on Craigslist,

An armband. Right.

An eight year old child actor named Bradley.

An event that could change a man's life forever.

An extremely compelling spokesman,

An ordinary guy whose life is in a rut.

An up and coming moving company

And a bro by our side, and we are out of the way.

And a couple days later,

And a crowd of spectators began to gather below.

And a few more hours of rehearsal,

And a legal liability waiver signed,

And a part of me is envious that, you know,

And after a bit of promotion...

And after a couple days,

And after an exhaustive search that lasted weeks,

And after doing an official weigh in...

And after each game, I would wait in the parking lot

And after helping him in and showing him how to alert me

And after only 2 1/2 hours,

And after spending some time doing my best to blend in...

And after telling her that a camera crew

And after telling Jack that I'd be secretly watching him

And after that,

And allowing me to go shot for shot with JJ

And also to keep his ethnicity the same, you know.

And although owner Niky Orellana

And amassed a stockpile of helium

And are you still working there?

And as a final precaution,

And as it came to an end,

And as luck would have it,

And as more and more took the stand,

And as the evening fog rolled in over the Malibu Hills,

And asked if I could do a test in one of their ovens.

And became so concerned that they insisted

And because his role as spokesman would be so crucial,

And because it's legal to split lanes in California,

And because she mentioned she liked alternative music,

And before long, he felt like it was ready to be unveiled.

And booked three of them for what I described

And brought in something comfortable for them to put on.

And brought out his brother.

And can I ask, uh, who your distributor is for these?

And check on me periodically, or is it,

And children have actually been found by the police

And comic book stores, looking for people

And convinced David to let us do our first workout

And Corey's grandparents didn't suspect a thing.

And Corey's grandparents looking on below,

And custom body suit were ready,

And distributing them throughout the neighborhood,

And Emily seemed really won over by the idea,

And Eric said he wasn't interested

And Eric said he wasn't interested

And even had some suggestions of his own.

And even though some parents had doubts

And even though the homeowner had a few minor complaints...

And even though the plan was to only cross once,

And even worse, moments later, they left the shop entirely.

And eventually deliver my car to my destination.

And every actor was in the exact right position,

And every customer after that met our dress code

And everybody's they're going directly to the internet.

And feeling great.

And filled the insides with pork bones

And for that aspect, I think it's important.

And for the rest of the trail, tree after tree,

And gave them each the dollar they'd need to buy the TVs

And get a TV for a dollar... Okay.

And get to where I'm going without any delay whatsoever,

And getting some final touch ups.

And give Corey his life back.

And give him a ride home.

And give up on getting Alen his TVs.

And go back to his girlfriend after only four minutes.

And had a new wall constructed to surround this area

And had him record Corey saying a specific

And have their lawyers come after him.

And he seemed like my best shot

And he was really hitting our message home.

And headed over to Burbank Pizzeria

And headed to the client's home

And Heath now weighing in below the 220 pound limit...

And hooked up to giant helium balloons...

And hundreds of hours of relentless practice,

And I added facial hair.

And I age progressed him to around 22,

And I became seriously concerned that

And I could've kept going.

And I didn't feel ready to call it a night just yet.

And I feel like there was no real thoughts

And I felt like he was our best shot

And I graduated from one of Canada's top business schools

And I graduated from one of Canada's top business schools

And I graduated from one of Canada's top business schools

And I graduated from one of Canada's top business schools

And I graduated from one of Canada's top business schools

And I noticed that JJ was getting pretty tipsy.

And I tried to show that in the picture

And I truly believe that this, and only this,

And I was especially blown away

And I was hopeful this would be a real money maker

And I was so proud of my cast

And I was sure to take note of everything.

And I was thankful that Jack was so committed

And I watch "The Real Housewives of New York City."

And I watched as, for the first time in history,

And I worked at a call center.

And I'd love to let you in,

And I'll be totally safe.

And I'm happy to say we delivered.

And I'm looking for couples that know how to ride.

And if I'm not feeling it, I'll just be like, "No."

And if Joy allowed riders above that weight

And if you don't do it by the time I get to three,

And if you're looking to lose a couple of pounds,

And in my line of work, being late is not an option.

And in that moment, I realized I'd become

And increased the cost of drinks

And inform them that no one was allowed in or out.

And it wasn't long

And it's something you're not a tightrope walker?

And just a week before meeting Corey,

And just let me know if you want to order any more.

And knowing he was protected,

And knowing that Jack was holding up

And later that week, I met with those who responded

And later that week, I returned to see the results.

And lead them back to the store.

And let... give her time to shop...

And lived with his parents.

And mailed them to media outlets throughout the state

And make it into a girl.

And moved some of her poorer selling items

And my gridlock rescue concept could become a national hit.

And my mind just was blank.

And my... that I... that I hope to be known for,

And never stepped foot in a gym.

And nightclubs in the area.

And now he's sharing his fitness tips with all of us.

And officially changed the hours.

And once Alen unlocked the front door,

And once complete, it was delivered to Vincent's studio

And once everything was in its place,

And once he freed himself from the aisle,

And once he was changed into his wire walking suite,

And once it was done, we wrapped it up

And once the prosthetic

And once the scene was set, we were ready to begin.

And once they saw it had everything a guy could want,

And once we get started, you will be

And organizing his collection of

And our case was crumbling before my very eyes.

And our secret would be safe.

And over the next couple weeks,

And performs a death defying tightrope walk for charity.

And perhaps that's a good thing.

And professional photos

And proprietors like Ellen Sancer

And raise awareness for breast cancer.

And recommending a covert surveillance

And riding it around,

And ruin his innocence.

And sent them off.

And shortly after uploading them to his profile,

And showed him my business plan and marketing materials

And since he made such a big purchase,

And since the workout was my idea anyways,

And stuff like that, so...

And suffer severe or even fatal injuries.

And taking photographs of you with another woman,

And tell it to me?

And ten minutes in, not only were

And that he'd never been to a gym in his life.

And that kind of thing, but most of the time,

And that meant I could finally

And that meant my concept was a success.

And that meant we had to move quick,

And that that point, I really just wanted to get home,

And that's not good.

And that's probably getting off easy

And that's what it really comes down to,

And that's when I realized

And that's why I'm, like, eh, I don't really want

And the box now decorated to make it exciting for kids,

And the charity Metavivor, specifically.

And the flying scarecrow overhead,

And the guy was loving every minute of it.

And the only ovens that seemed to be in her price range

And the only people who could screw it up

And the other two were in high school.

And the owner of Glendale, California's Travelure By Rose.

And the razor beaked birds that were in the sky.

And the real Corey would emerge for his kiss with Jasmine.

And the whole truth and everything?

And then added a cork lined inner chamber

And then all there was left to do was wait.

And then blew up images from our footage,

And then brought them to a church I rented

And then classified every patron

And then hired a team of professional transcribers

And then I headed into the first media appearance

And then it gets more and more or

And then present a check to a breast cancer charity,

And then resell those TVs for any price he wants

And then sent them off in a van to Best Buy.

And then the next one does it later?

And then threw up a curtain to complete

And then we'll pretend it's me who did it?

And there is nothing more to discuss about it.

And there was a child in there the entire time...

And there's quite a bit of progression in this picture

And they found a professional bodybuilder

And they, too, would like to see more from Corey.

And to really sell this idea,

And tried again to get the court testimony I needed

And unfortunately, tragically he died

And using this flyer to price match

And victory had never tasted so sweet.

And video footage we had from that night

And watching royalty free football.

And we don't tell them

And we expect, you know, a low price

And we expect, you know, a low price

And we have proof that it works.

And we need to let people know that.

And we'll get you there a whole lot quicker.

And whatever stuff I could

And with a little bit of practice,

And with Corey squared away,

And with everything unloaded from the truck,

And with his girlfriend just starting to shop,

And with Holly and Tony out of the room,

And with millions of people listening,

And with that, it was time to see if Rose

And with that, we headed out to my made up party.

And with the audience shoved away in the corner,

And with the final preparations under way,

And you are free now

And you do not understand the dynamics

And you do not understand the dynamics

And you know what?

And you know, a lot of people wear bald today.

And you'll get a fresh batch of people

And you're having sex with a girl,

And you're just gonna have to fill in the blanks yourself.

And, you know, I did photography too, and...

And, you know, I need stuff in there.

Another 8.6 million live with a serious illness

Any guy saying that.

Any minor discrepancies in our appearance

Any report that shows it was accessed.

Any sex noises that happened to get through.

Any time we're moving... Great, right?

Anyone's gonna remember you for that.

Are the big softshell buyers?

Are there any issues in the relationship at all?

Are you familiar with the Best Buy price match policy?

Are you guy ready to change your life

Are you guys ready? Yeah.

Are you happy with where you're at

Are you in?

Are you married?

Are you, uh, are you married?

Aren't gonna be around much longer.

As 30 minutes after opening,

As a final precaution,

As a free workout intensive.

As a line comprised mostly

As a national hero.

As a team.

As a way to get JJ into a padded outfit

As an actor in a free form play,

As Brian started bragging that he too was a model,

As by the next morning, I had a response

As closely as possible.

As far as saying it's a really good show

As far as what a person could look like.

As future brand ambassadors if they became star athletes,

As he was relaxed and enjoying his beer.

As I walked the wire to inspire you

As if his Achilles heel had been struck by a blade,

As in these situations,

As long as it takes.

As long as we were talking about sex,

As much as we enjoyed making it.

As my actors were able to stay faithful to the original night,

As my branch blocking team raced into position

As my plan would require me to physically become him.

As my unpaid intern takes my spot in the car

As seriously as I had hoped.

As smoking bans throughout America have made

As some prison they're forced into.

As someone who knows a lot about marketing.

As the first outdoor apparel company to openly promote

As the guru behind this workout

As they were just now arriving at Best Buy,

As you can see on the wall, so...

At a constant progression,

At any gym he wanted.

At first, I thought he might just be bringing his own water,

At getting a big sale for Emily,

At one of the area's most popular funeral homes.

At one table, there was a couple that shared a kiss,

At playing in the big leagues and becoming a star,

At the 1881 Club for a night of legal indoor smoking.

At the back of the store

At the same party, but no, not together.

At their hotel.

Austin had taken a few liberties

Austin returned with the completed book.

Away from phones, internet, and especially his family.

Bareback or use a condom?

Based on renderings of artists like myself

Based upon what you've told me,

Basically, only way of making money.

Beautiful.

Because audiences love someone

Because he didn't follow the rules, and he took his kid

Because he looks lonely.

Because I told her I wanted our first kiss to be special.

Because I used to be an astronaut.

Because it would give me more time to focus on my work.

Because of my actions,

Because of the age of your child,

Because the box had to be airtight,

Because their kids are there.

Because they don't want to say that evil exists.

Because they're not "feeling" the person.

Because they're unable to engage in sexual intercourse

Because this is a test,

Because we are buying while he still, you know, sucks.

Because we want a cardio workout too.

Because you're not good at this,

Because you're not good at this,

Because your muscles are training during exhaustion.

Because, within minutes, customers began arriving

Becoming a reality.

Before hiring you, obviously.

Before she bites the dust.

Before the gas chambers.

Before they're gone for good.

Began filling up the seats.

Began to concern me,

Behind my back

Best Buy wouldn't be able to come after him for anything,

Best of all, I had never seen Ellen look happier.

Better lawyers, probably, more money.

Big tackle coming.

Breast cancer research.

Brian: Crunch Fitness.

Brian: Let's go.

But according to my research, suing was the only way

But after days and days

But after reviewing the promotional images I took,

But after she left, I found myself

But agreed to give me a chance

But all it was was simply a woman's touch.

But all the energy in the room surrounded Roman and Kenzie.

But all this would mean nothing

But all you really need is one to go pro

But as he started getting strapped in,

But as I spent the next day

But as show time neared, it looked like

But as the rehearsal went on, I became concerned

But as we left the store,

But at least I could be proud

But at least we could celebrate that we gave it our all

But before launching this,

But before leaving, I wanted to make it clear to Jasmine

But before making offers, I wanted to figure out

But before suggesting this to Rose,

But before we could begin, I still had the tough task

But charming version of the man whose skin I was in.

But especially as I've gotten older and fatter,

But even though I had what I needed,

But ever since a massive Best Buy moved in

But first: Susan Kim is the owner

But first...

But for Ellen's role,

But for my purposes it would work.

But for some reason, once she was gone,

But for this brand to have credibility,

But for this to work, I needed to get him drunk

But for what I was about to do next,

But getting someone from within these walls

But he said there was one piece of evidence

But he seemed confident that this would work.

But hit worst of all has been the bars.

But humans have feelings too.

But I I really don't see it that way.

But I came prepared with a plan

But I had to make sure he was willing

But I hope I'm remembered

But I knew I had a promise to keep.

But I knew that if even one sex noise

But I never thought of it as a workout.

But I project that she's having fun.

But I realized that maybe there was still a way

But I recently discovered that by wearing

But I still had to factor in

But I think doing so would be unfair to the customers

But I think we'd be idiots not to give it a shot.

But I was able to use these audio clips

But I was determined to stick this out

But I was hopeful that the remaining steps

But I was most excited about landing a deal

But I was surprised to learn

But I'll find out.

But I'll just say I hope you enjoy this play

But I'm not getting that sense right now.

But if Alen dropped his prices so low

But if I was gonna go up against

But if Jack was still going to his old gym

But if Niky's were to sign cheap, long term contracts

But if plus sized customers could have their weight offset

But if the Hilltop Hotel could offer a portable soundproof box

But if what happened in there somehow

But in reality, my only goal

But in reality, these people were showing up

But in reality, this astronaut was my old pal James Bailey,

But in searching for a replacement,

But in this internet age,

But it feels really good to to hear.

But it seemed like every popular workout

But it seemed like their faith in Jack's workout

But it was all just a calculated ruse

But it was crucial that I follow the rabbi's guidance

But it was only fair to hold off on my decision

But it wasn't what he needed.

But it's kind of hard to talk about myself with

But knowing that tonight's sales

But lately, owner David Sassounian

But lately, she's noticed that sales have taken a dip.

But not only were they

But once he came face to face with our alligator,

But once the new discounted price went into effect,

But once we got going,

But people really responded to this thing.

But please don't disrespect me while I'm talking to you.

But recently, hotel manager Kenny Pang

But shortly after their arrival,

But since I didn't want them to see me up close,

But since it was crucial

But since neither of us knew how the funeral business

But since the most important part was the soundproofing,

But so far, I wasn't buying it.

But still, I felt like I had enough information

But thank you for saying that; that is nice.

But that's when he started talking to me

But that's when his mood soured.

But that's when I came across a sure fire way

But that's when I made a troubling discovery.

But that's when I realized I hadn't yet bro'd down

But that's when it occurred to me

But the conversation got sidetracked

But the idea wasn't mine, Nathan.

But the more I use the system,

But the one thing I knew is that when big corporations

But the only opinion that really mattered was Ellen's.

But the truth was all over his face.

But then I got word that, back at Best Buy,

But then Jack finally emerged.

But then something happened that I never expected.

But then, something bad happened.

But then, to my surprise, a customer actually returned

But there was still one issue I had to resolve.

But there was still one more thing

But there's... you know, there's... there's nothing I can do.

But these people did it without ever thinking

But this next part is the most crucial part

But this night had all the ingredients of a hit play.

But to do this would take some maneuvering.

But to do this would take some work,

But to fool his own family

But to see if this would work as an actual service,

But to turn someone into a national hero,

But two weeks ago,

But unfortunately, Jack had something else in mind.

But unlike branches, birds are a moving target

But we'll figure it out together.

But what Corey didn't know is that the doctor

But what Elle didn't know is that my one and only goal

But what I didn't expect was the psychological shock

But what I really cared about was his body.

But what no one will know

But when I arranged a meet up

But when I dropped him off,

But when I had the clerk check the gate access records,

But when I looked online,

But when I put on football again,

But when I was reviewing the footage we shot,

But with a child's mental health on the line,

But with my team already under way

But yeah. It's good to know, yeah.

But, brother, I'll tell you one thing.

But, uh...

But, you know, your talent really is on the field.

But...it's out there.

By 20 pounds, so it was a simple matter

By an actress who nailed the part of Ellen.

By being tied to helium filled weather balloons,

By catching up on the royalty free music tracks

By even the simplest of questions.

By helping them book their funerals,

By investing in kids while they're still cheap.

By staying open 24 hours a day.

By the time I'm done, you will reemerge

California judge Anthony Filosa,

Can anyone become a hero?

Can I ask what's funny about what we're doing here?

Can I ask your permission to kiss you?

Can't be a boundary pushing theatrical experience?

Caring for his parents' house where he still lives,

Cell phone telling me there's a message.

Chances are you'll stay at the iconic Hilltop Hotel.

Claim that smoking restrictions

Clearly Jack wasn't taking our business arrangement

Come in here and look at this before picture.

Completely cut off from the outside world.

Constructing the rigging for the wire walk,

Containing all the photos of my top picks,

Corey and Jasmine hitting it off...

Corey as a sensitive guy that women

Corey, are you ready to be a hero?

Could convince customers to plan their funerals

Could go into that box.

Could now walk the streets of Vancouver

Could provide horsey rides for the, uh, morbidly obese.

Couldn't have gone better.

Crack that shit.

Craving something to put this over the top,

Crippled by modern technology.

Dating account for Corey that I populated

David could tap into an endless supply of labor

Definitely ready to be down lower to the ground.

Designed to my specifications.

Destroy everything I had created,

Did you rent that? Yes.

Do you guys like dancing?

Do you know the antique shop next door?

Do you like this brand, Market Pantry?

Do you like? I love it.

Do you normally start, like, kissing a little bit,

Do you often do stuff like that

Do you swear to tell the truth

Do you want to just slate with your name first?

Do you want to see a magic trick?

Does kill over 400,000 Americans per year.

Don't you, Jurgen?

Doug Collins in their winter catalog

Down to the model I hired for product shots,

Dr. Judy Rosenberg.

Driving from location to location.

Educational materials for consumers,

Efficiently moving the client's stuff,

Elizabeth Albert has a dedicated Man Zone,

Emily extended her hours

Enjoy.

Eroding the insides of one of America's

Especially horses and maybe, you know, for my dogs,

Even though Bradley's parents

Every section of the store without interruption.

Everybody does this shit, Max, [bleep] George.

Everyone has a different personality.

Everything you offer, that would be really helpful

Everything's going to be okay.

Exactly 0 of his $1 televisions had been purchased.

Failure can leave you feeling pretty empty inside,

Families on vacation.

Far exceeded any of the other players,

Finally, in between the door and the TVs,

Find a way to protect my balloons from birds,

Find someone and get married, so... have kids."

For a documentary about nightlife in Long Beach,

For a few days, everybody's panicking.

For a full 17 minutes before leaving,

For a human body too?

For a new reality show called "Retail Dating,"

For a new reality show, in which participants

For a new workout called The Movement

For a while, you know.

For an endorsement deal, and his mom seemed interested,

For Corey to be transformed into a hero

For everyone to see. Yeah, but that doesn't...

For everyone's support.

For giving me the courage to do this.

For giving such a memorable performance

For guidance on how to build my case.

For him to see our display later that week.

For insurance purposes for the show,

For Metavivor, a national organization that funds

For more than a few seconds at a time.

For my transformation:

For Niky's endorsement portfolio.

For nudging children in the right direction.

For over 60 years.

For over five years, but lately,

For sexually active parents traveling with their children.

For so many years.

For some reason, this guy wasn't into it either.

For somebody else.

For such a sensitive subject matter.

For the 1881 Club.

For the big wire walk event.

For the guy stuff.

For the investment to pay off big time.

For the latex prosthetic that would turn me

For the new Man Zone.

For the next six months,

For the opportunity to move stuff.

For the real moving job I had scheduled with David.

For the role of female bar owner.

For the TV deals.

For the World Championships that I won,

For this to pay off big time,

For three days of intense group rehearsal

For us to make our decision.

For wearing the coat.

For what could be

For who I said was a real astronaut

For you to move into this truck.

Founder of Apple.

Free at last, free at last, huh?

From a different pouch, quickly refilling the glass

From a lovely woman named Jasmine,

From all my insecurities.

From another Best Buy employee

From buying up all of Alen's dollar TVs,

From coffin sales and grave plots.

From his parents' carnal acts,

From in and around the City of Angels.

From one location to another.

From one of Canada's top business schools

From people wanting to try the workout.

From staying longer and buying more stuff

From the rest of the world

From this point forward, your ride is over.

Full advantage of her surroundings,

Gave them the will to keep going.

Generating new sales would greatly increase.

Gently touched Roman's arm.

George allowed me to continue as long as we put him in naked.

George and I delicately loaded the body

Get more families to come in because when they

Getting close, or..

Getting it done.

Giving Alen a short window of time

Gliding through life right now.

Going in my head; it was just, like, doing it

Going on right now, but, uh

Going over the footage from that night,

Good bye.

Good luck

Got it?

Got it? Yes.

Got no further than Herbert as well.

Gotta get the workout and come out...

Great touchdown celebration coming up.

Great.

Had a pretty good handle on their lines,

Had been touched.

Had genuine theatrical value,

Had published a tribute to notorious Holocaust denier

Hanging out, grabbing a brewski,