Community - Season 1 Edit

A birthday cake!

A box of hairnets from the kitchen?

A community.

A few things about how this works.

A life of disillusionment and depression

A little bit on the inside,

A little more astronomy later, right?

A movie of the week.

A new syndicate moved in to take its place.

A picnic blanket.

A place where ladies go to share, listen,

A small fading remnant of a star.

A v kids hooked it up.

Abed and I talked to him by the vending machines.

Abed in the house!

Abed is better.

Abed is drunk with chicken power.

Abed is drunk with chicken power.

Abed killed my backpack.

Abed makes the fingers and the decisions.

Abed supplied the whole department

Abed, eventually people are gonna get tired of chicken.

Abed, it makes the group uncomfortable

Abed, it's open!

Abed, nice to know you and then meet you in that order.

Abed, the mafia movie is over.

Abed, what's your read on that guy?

Abed, your social skills aren't exactly streets ahead.

Abed!

Abed.

Abed's a shaman.

Abed's got it all figured out.

Abed's study group.

About all this, but you were so high

About britta patting herself on the back,

About declining that offer.

About this thing than i am

About what a mysterious and inscrutable man I am.

About what happens to other people

About why that's wrong.

Absolutely not.

Academic guidance, moral support,

Act as if we've either just finished or yet to begin driving.

Actually, there's nothing...

Actually, we didn't get that far without you,

Adults, they get respect,

After his "innocent mistake" of calling me Valerie.

After the dean talked to you about football,

After we get star burns fired.

After you notice this funny way she shakes when she gets cold.

Again?

Ah, go on.

Ah.

All dogs are blue now.

All i want to do is take care of you

All i want to do is take care of you.

All in favor say "aye." both: aye.

All in one move.

All ready to study all night.

All right, come on in.

All right, everybody!

All right, hold on here.

All right, last night i graded your tests.

All right, now, the only reason

All right, well, uh... If you change your mind,

All right? There's a bit of fun.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All your lives you were told don't stand on your desks.

Also, do me a favor, will you lay off Britta?

Although she left cause he was angry and he was angry cause she's American.

Am I deaf? Can you hear me talking right now?

Am I right? I don't know.

An excuse to punch a hippy?

An opportunity to help each other out.

And Here, look! He wrote a poem!

And a foggy memory of two bland orgasms.

And Abed.

And all that is gonna end right now.

And annie...

And as your dean,

And back to the present.

And being so diverse.

And besides, aren't you supposed to have,

And bring an end to this operation.

And bring my jacket,

And busted.

And considering the age of these girls,

And deny everything, you'll walk.

And don't bother trying that thing that women do

And drink like it like a cold hot chocolate.

And end with a note like that.

And everybody hates him, Even all his friends

And everyone has functions.

And face la musica...

And finally, this beautiful creature is named Shirley.

And finds a nice place to live.

And for that you'd convince Troy

And friend the hell out of

And gather hand in hand in a sea of outraged silence.

And gave the world's worst interview

And has no mercy for weaker beings.

And have a plate of chicken fingers.

And having to hear about the guys you date?

And he always knew when to slap the table.

And he always says hello three times in a row.

And he always says hello three times in a row.

And he gave me something.

And he needs so much help!

And he said you can write greendale's school song.

And he would trade it all for a shot at some kind of family.

And he's related to danny glover and president obama.

And her guided got it!

And how might it affect each person listening?"

And i i'd be psyched to be your friend.

And i can't handle this kind of stress right now.

And I caught him stuffing my man

And I don't even normally like dreadlocks.

And I feel that you suck.

And I finished on top.

And I guess, Jeff, my deal is, above all else, honesty.

And I hate you.

And I have appendicitis.

And I just wanna jump out of my car,

And i know it's limited to second Year students,

And I like you too.

And i need him to see me celebrating life.

And i think the lesson we can all take away from this

And i think the wrong person just left.

And i think the wrong person just left.

And I thought, where's the heart?

And I want him at that pep rally tonight.

And I want to have your children.

And I want to record the train wreck.

And I was conditioned to believe that every black woman over 50

And I was the guy in the apron,

And I was trained never to say this,

And i will go talk to vaughn if you want me to.

And I will not take courting advice from some teenage boy.

And i'll help you out however i can.

And i'm afraid greendale takes this kinda thing

And I'm back to being a weirdo,

And I'm back to being a weirdo,

And I'm happy to report

And I'm happy to share them

And I'm hoping that our friendship

And i'm not looking down on this school at all,

And I'm talking to Troy Barnes,

And ideally, just a notch underneath

And ideally, just a notch underneath

And if I truly cared about him,

And if i'm occasionally naked in your dreams,

And if Troy isn't one of them,

And if you guys knew how they treated

And in either case, booyah.

And in this case, it is definitely a girl.

And isn't the word "later" already short enough?

And it deserves to be done right.

And it has the density of 40 Suns.

And it was free.

And it would not hurt your chances one bit

And it's one i will answer. Uh

And Jeff had the most important job of all.

And just like that, the mafia movie was over.

And learns to be sneakier.

And let him do his presentation alone, if that sounds fair to you.

And let his wheels spin down.

And make out with an aerobics instructor.

And make the case that you're a good person

And maybe Annie's decisions will be better.

And maybe i wouldn't sneeze because i'm in control.

And me finding it harder and harder to stay polite.

And memorize five phrases from it tomorrow morning before class.

And memorize five phrases from it tomorrow morning before class.

And midgets are small.

And model puerto rican american.

And my duffle in the boot of my lorry, so

And next month, so will Gwen Stefani.

And now it's time to get what's mine.

And now no one gives a rat's ass.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have a dinner engagement with Britta.

And old people

And one wants to ask the other one out on a date.

And our species.

And part of you dies

And pay close attention to every subject's breaking point.

And Pierce. We need guys like Pierce.

And q&a.

And racist

And realized the world was better off with me in it.

And really, really, specifically,

And really, this range alone.

And replace him with one of our own

And ripping my My six pack abs and my moist hair.

And Saturday afternoons.

And secondly, vaughn seems cool.

And send me into fits of grateful arousal.

And she'd think i was jealous.

And she'll feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

And she'll take a bite. And you'll laugh.

And Shirley figured that if she stole,

And smelled what happens to Pavel on cabbage night,

And some day you will know it by its true name, "diabetes. "

And started being a family... In italics.

And stopped wasting all of our time.

And study first and then go to dinner.

And taking the stranger's side?

And tell ten people that you love them.

And that face you made?

And that is the sign of a true friend.

And that was it. It was that simple.

And that was that.

And that's just the way it goes.

And the attitude during conveyance

And the chicken is controlled by me.

And the day i finally cut myself loose

And the students on the cover should be smiling,

And the whole class gets a cero!

And then I can make everyone happy

And then she stormed out of the room

And then there were two.

And then they'll put my locks back on the door and that'll be that.

And then you can't talk about your own business,

And then you turned chicken when you found out

And then you would throw up.

And then zucchini zircles. I don't get it.

And they trust and respect you. Watching you exploit them bums me out.

And they're just loving life. It's just inspiring.

And they're throwing the bee

And they've got 24 hours to come forward,

And things are finally going to start turning around.

And this decision has to be yes.

And this is ear Noculars.

And this is my chance to show her I care enough to act like I care too.

And this is, like, my perfect job.

And this no good, clearly bald

And this particular coward

And this time, not with a contest on Twitter.

And tried to order chalupas from the emergency call box,

And Troy. Who cares if Troy thinks he's all that?

And tv.

And unveiling our brand new school song.

And very confusing, and a little homophobic.

And wait in line for a broken promise from a dirty system.

And we can give Ben Affleck an Academy Award for screenwriting.

And we can have what the kids calls a sausage fest.

And we had the chicken to prove it.

And we have a mascot that's just a white guy,

And we were stealing it and giving it back to them

And we're friends now, it's great for me, but it's bad for him.

And when he wakes up, Stupid wishing he was me

And when his job opened up, we did what we had to do

And when this baby starts kicking,

And write that on your bathroom mirror.

And Y2K Preparedness.

And yet a third of life is spent

And you can see my whole face.

And you can't do a basket toss to save your life,

And you don't really care what he wants...

And you get the most important job.

And you help me do a better job with them.

And you made me cry in public.

And you missed an entire side of your face shaving.

And you seem invisible to him.

And you stop messing with my son.

And you turned it all into a way to make everyone like you.

And you'll light the candles.

And you'll offer her your letter jacket

And you'll take a bite.

And your cool

And your family's privacy.

And your gelled hair,

And your name begins with "T".

And your sheet music

And, jeff, let me get you something.

And, Pierce, you're a b.

And, you know, he needs a little spending money.

And...

And... I couldn't take the pressure,

Annie is talking about some kind of experiment.

Annie said that Benjamin Button was compelling.

Annie, why don't you, uh, go and tell our subjects

Annie's boobs could be anywhere.

Annie's boobs could be on the side of the road.

Antoni... An... hold on.

Anybody need anything?

Anyway, are you two an item, and if so,

Apparently my sperm shoot through the egg like bullets.

Apparently there was a falling out, things were said, people were betrayed.

Are going to win it all this year.

Are the five phrases required to get me a passing grade.

Are waiting for the experiment to begin, but...

Are we cool?

Are you even interested in falafel?

Are you okay? It looks like you have actual bed head this morning.

Are you passing it?

Are you saying that we're not allowed to protest?

Are you seeing anybody?

Are you sure you didn't adjust the odds?

Are you trying to blackmail me?

Are you trying to use reverse psychology on a psychologist?

Are you unaware that Shirley finds your advances inappropriate?

Are you wearing that

As a ceo had taught him how

As a seasonal arc on law & order.

As far as I'm concerned,

As far back as I can remember,

As for Abed, for his sake

As if there's a dinner on Earth that could make me forget

Assuming to "Garfunkel" someone is to keep putting up with them

Astrology should be astronomy,

At a school that has an express tuition aisle?

At greendale, they were always out of chicken fingers,

At greendale, they were always out of chicken fingers,

At how many of your favorite football players

At least apologize.

At our state of the art judge's table,

At that moment, we stopped being a family

At which point you would be in charge again, right?

Attending his school.

Awesome!

Back in those days, Jeff winger

Back to watching from the outside...

Be fully exonerated.

Be thrown out of...

Bears have feet.

Beat it.

Because

Because britta was a vegetarian

Because he can't wait to have that conversation with you.

Because he won't listen to reason.

Because i am not gullible like you.

Because i wanted to get caught.

Because i'm arab, i must hate women.

Because I'm right?

Because I'm telling him what kind of friend you really are.

Because if crazy people can't be at greendale,

Because if you don't genuinely seize the day

Because it reacts spontaneously to...

Because it won't happen!

Because it's time to communicate.

Because people can connect with anything.

Because she and I want makeovers.

Because she doesn't think she can.

Because that thing about the jukebox was way too specific to be improvised.

Because their parents are bigots!

Because things weren't that great out there.

Because when I were these skinny jeans, my ass looks like a baby pumpkin.

Because you are not believable in your face, okay?

Because you know what? Soup is better.

Because you know who's talking to us in this range?

Because you were threatening to flunk everyone!

Because you're a football player,

Because you're playing the role of my dad,

Because, really, you are just as selfish as I am.

Been there, coined that.

Before I came to this school shaped toilet.

Before I talk, I ask myself,

Before the deadline.

Before the end of the week,

Before you found the one that said "i don't care"?

Before you two proceed, I have one thing to say...

Before, I only needed them because the day to day world

Beginning transmission.

Begins on the other side of that door.

Being younger does not make me inferior.

Believe me, every day in that country, people are being killed for speaking out.

Believe me, it's nothing like the product.

Believe me, kitten, Winger's got moves.

Bet that doesn't happen to you a lot.

Better yet, before we do that, let's ask ourselves...

Between total stranger

Bienvenido.

Big mistake.

Boop. Boop. Tcch!

Break.

Britta got cozy with star burns.

Britta told me she had a sex dream about you.

Britta, jeff, dad.

Britta, look at me.

Britta?

Britta's hairdresser... What?

Britta's right, you are the most selfish person alive!

Brittles, I forgot to tell you, I went and talked to Vaughn.

Bros before Hoes, Troy.

Brownies?

Buckle up, students.

Buenos días, Winger.

But a woman I kind of like

But abed is an adult and a u.s. citizen.

But apparently, I failed yesterday's tryouts

But could you just answer the question?

But every year, there's always one cocky opportunist

But for you, maybe you're one of those rare people

But he's quite a handful.

But here... here... he's all alone,

But how was I supposed to know that you were smart and cool?

But I am not gonna eat that injustice.

But I can never admit that cause that would make me an ass.

But I can't.

But i had a 4.0 at riverside high,

But I suppose that's a matter of opinion.

But I think she needs to decide whether she wanna be considered a child

But I think that group may be untutorable.

But I thought that, um...

But i want to be unpredictable.

But I was close.

But i was in a tough position.

But i'll be old too soon.

But i'm getting a major b word vibe from you.

But I'm here...

But i'm not trying to look like i'm not.

But i'm only here because of a brief addiction to pills

But I'm warning you I am leaving for lunch early.

But if I take it off to make them happy, that just makes me weak, right?

But if i'm gonna cheat,

But if it was cool to eat God,

But if we're gonna do something, let's do it as a team.

But if you can't learn to be soft in there,

But if you could've heard all the stuff

But if you think of grandsons as a metaphor for friendship,

But it doesn't make this acceptable.

But it lets me adjust really specific settings

But it shows how fun astronomy can be.

But it tastes like chicken.

But just remember these things have power.

But less tragic, because i get to leave.

But let me play you out, okay?

But maybe when Jeff gets here,

But more importantly, it's your sneeze.

But mostly for the sake of Jeff's ego.

But my dad says all media's western propaganda

But now it's time to tell you everything

But now it's too late to drop or add.

But now that you have recovered,

But now they're bonding through mutual adolescence.

But of course you're saying, "Britta, aren't you a hypocrite?"

But one last little piece of gossip.

But Pierce explained the situation.

But relative to this place, i'm alan dershowitz.

But selfish and narcissistic to the point of near delusion.

But she fell off her boat, good thing for her because,

But take it from me, that's human for "hello"

But that doesn't mean I support...

But that doesn't mean that he wants to make falafel.

But the family's success started to go to their heads.

But they actually made me lose my scholarship and virginity.

But they also get their head grabbed and their face pushed through jukeboxes.

But this decision has to be yours, T Bone.

But this is insane, okay?

But this is tacky and lame.

But this sure feels like a real college to me.

But this thing we've created...

But this thing we've created...

But trying to hide it with a bandana loser

But underneath all that clown makeup,

But waiting won't change the dice. You either roll them or lose your turn.

But we can get acquainted.

But we did lean on that pretty hard last week.

But we don't want one, so beat it.

But we need your help.

But we should send those out to local businesses.

But we soldier on,

But we weren't taking any chances.

But we will be next to it,

But we're supposed to be friends now,

But weren't allowed to say anything

But what I can do is see what makes Annie awesome.

But when someone's a bitch and a liar,

But when you showed me that field,

But why?

But within biking distance of his parents' house.

But you can, so that's fine.

But you insinuate my mama's a robot

But you knew we had an astronomy test tomorrow.

But you know what they'll never make a replacement for?

But you made a commitment.

But you, you follow through. love you.

But, Abed, if you get caught skimming,

But...

By a disciplinary tribunal tomorrow

By reading from the Torah.

By the way, I took the liberty

By the way, they started using that

Bye. He's just laying low.

Can I have a word with you?

Can I live with you?

Can I not be Kurt Russell?

Can I sign up twice?

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Can I? Oh, it's crispy.

Can we begin to start starting them.

Can we eat them while sitting on a table

Can we look around our immediate areas, 'cause I really wanted to...

Can we make this quick?

Can you believe this? What are the odds?

Can't believe I misled you like that.

Can't use 80 bucks?

Caring.

Carpe diem, sir. carpe diem!

Cate blanchett sexuality and the ridiculous name?

Cause a smart guy like you would know

Cause I know what I'd like to protest...

Check out my posse and Troy's monkey.

Chicken.

Class blows.

Class dismissed.

Cleared my whole day.

Coined and minted.

Come back again. Whoo, ooh, ooh, get him.

Come from the same island?

Come on, hands... 90% of Spanish.

Come on, let's brainstorm some story ideas.

Come on. stand on your desk.

Come on. Why don't you have dinner at my place?

Come to the parking lot now.

Companies?

Comprende, Star burns?

Conflicts like these will ultimately bring us together as an unlikely family.

Congratulations. You have won a cruise.

Contact sheet. Just put your stuff there.

Containing all the information covered on the test.

Cool tie, jeff.

Cool.

Cool.

Cool. And what can you offer?

Cool. I bet Randi would love that type of thing.

Cool. I'll see you.

Cool. Okay.

Cop Rock.

Cosmology should be cosmetology,

Could be to go in there and clean up your mess.

Could you come here, please, for a second?

Could you please go as my friend?

Could you scoot over?

Credit hogging jag who only knows three power cords

Dad.

Damages the part of his brain that feels pride.

Damn it.

Damn you, you outlying piece of datum!

Damn, I picked the wrong couple to follow out of class this morning.

Deal.

Dean you later.

Dean, I'm sure Troy will sign up for football

Dean, you want so bad for this place to be ivy league

Destroyed all my marriages.

Did a little foot modeling.

Did I say anything in my sleep about farm animals or Brian Williams?

Did you enroll in all of his classes,

Did you give them my poem?

Did you just defend my honor?

Did you know they had a football?

Did you learn nothing from stand up comedy in the '90s?

Did you make that crib sheet?

Did you say S?

Did you see that hacky sack wears an anklet?

Did you think of that

Did you... say it already?

Didn't that bother you?

Dirty Dancing.

Disco, doll, the library

Do it. Seduce him.

Do we really want to make it a crime

Do whatever you want. You just have to know.

Do you guys even have faucets in here?

Do you guys mind?

Do you have any more questions?

Do you know who might have stolen

Do you know why I'm here?

Do you like dane cook?

Does anyone have a pen? Pen?

Does it just mean "cool," or is it

Does that mean we shouldn't listen to him either?

Doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you.

Don't be naive. The charge between you was keeping him going

Don't become this person again.

Don't go too fast for these dogs. Short legs.

Don't hit me.

Don't talk to Vaughn.

Don't test her on that,

Don't use that word around Abed.

Don't you ever want anything more out of life than cereal?

Don't you guys think this is getting out of hand?

Don't you see what happened?

Don't you think maybe you should go?

Done by: mosito1001 Resync by Pippo Inzaghi

Doosh!

Dots her is with tiny,

Double spaced. Thank you.

Draw the tapeworm of Jeff out of him with your sexuality.

Driving you to the airport and painting your kitchen?

Dude, we have feelings.

Duncan, you did seem less into integrity

Dwarves hate being called midgets,

East side, west side, North side, south

Eee!

Eh... eh... eh... eh...

Either way, it's for them.

Emotional eruption or breaking point,

Especially now. He's got a real Phil Spector vibe going.

Especially your reference.

Even if they're being tackled in the quad by a hippie,

Even like that you're a little hard.

Even though they're a fat, lazy cat who hogs the spotlight and eats lasagna.

Even, fairness, right, wrong.

Ever again.

Every answer to every test

Every answer to every test in your curriculum this semester.

Every day on my way to school,

Every day you flock here like sheep

Every once in a while, a student come up to me and ask,

Every part of it is a part of who I am.

Every single dog in the world is blue.

Everybody in our crew had a job.

Everybody ready?

Everyone else needs my help.

Everyone had their hand out.

Everyone on this campus is nuts.

Everyone stand on your desks!

Everyone wanted what we had. Oh! Oh, well.

Everyone's speaking the same language.

Everything's all, "no worries, no worries."

Exactly. Like knight rider.

Excuse me, I have a future murder victim to visit

Excuse me, Pierce's band is playing

Exploit the legal system for profit.

F minus.

F.

Fa look, we'll be fine.

Feel it, Troy. Throw it!

Feet.

Filled with these antioxidants and stuff.

Fine.

First up was supposed to be Jeff and Pierce,

First, lose the jacket.

Flirting with britta?

Float?

Fly a kite, but do it for yourself.

Football is bad for you, Troy.

Football was the most important thing in the world.

For a fancy condo, you've got awful security.

For a language credit, shall we?

For burning man.

For combination skin

For each of us.

For ejemplo, blondie aqui

For every one of the classes I'm taking. Here's my schedule.

For every time i wished somebody asked me that.

For filling out these anonymous evaluation cards.

For hawthorne wipe's moist towelettes.

For me, it's Lucky Charms...

For non superficial reasons

For now.

For our crime family?

For the cheater to be an adult

For the position of bathroom companion.

For the same reason I can pick up this pencil,

For the semester.

For those of you who are new,

For, uh...

Forever.

Friday mañana, we'll have conversations with the rest of the class

Friends do not make fun of each other,

Friends don't mess with each other.

Friends.

From a trained mental health professional.

From now on, abed,

From properly running this machine

Full of chicken and Tyler Perry has a whole series of movies

Funny thing about being smart

Gatherings?

Genius at law.

Genius.

Gentlemen...

Gentlemen...

Get a coffee,

Get in the car!

Get it right next time.

Get me an entourage.

Get out!

Get out! Get out, you dorks!

Get Troy a monkey.

Get up and walk out the door!

Get up on your desk.

Gets its jollies judging me.

Gets the ladies in the mood for social change.

Getting injured in that "keg stand"

Girls go in groups.

Go kill john lennon again, you loser.

Go kill john lennon again, you loser.

Go running naked in a hailstorm,

Go to the nurse. seize the day.

Go!

God bless you.

Good afternoon, Greendale community college.

Good day, I like cold potatoes,

Good morning, greendale! hi! good morning!

Good morning, sir.

Good morning!

Good morning.

Good news is I'm the new keyboardist in his band.

Good studying. See you later. Bye.

Good.

Google it.

Got all up in my stuff because you wanted to be cowboys

Got started at community college.

Got the whole table.

Got ya.

Great idea. Let's do it!

Great to have somebody to watch stuff with

Greendale, we're number one!

Greendale!

Greendale's gonna kill me or anything.

Guess I ruined your date, huh?

Guys, look what Abed scored for me.

Guys, what the hell! "Getting rid of Britta"?

Ha ha! that's funny.

Ha ha! Troy, Troy, the wonder boy!

Ha ha! Up top!

Ha. That's very funny.

Hackneyed?

Hacks, sheep.

Hacks.

Had to go number two.

Half the chicken at greendale

Handcrafted in Italy. 100% expensive

Hands aids.

Has a card with a picture of a house on it.

Has a much harder time saying, "Booyah", to moral relativism.

Has given me douche ray vision, but those are good people in there,

Have a nice date.

Have a nice day.

Have a nice disbarment hearing.

Have been called animals their whole lives.

Have you been playing football?

Have you got a problem with me?

Have you met abed? you know who he is?

He always knew what to say

He asked about you.

He can do what he wants.

He can't even make it to the litter box

He can't move his mouth either.

He didn't say it?

He gives them to people just so

He has He has warped the duncan principle.

He has He has warped the duncan principle.

He has a big poop breakfast, With a glass of pee

He has diabetes.