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Home > Chris Morris - Brass Eye...
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Chris Morris - Brass Eye Sounds

Chris Morris - Brass Eye Sounds

Brass Eye is a British comedy series parodying the current affairs news programming of the mid-1990s. A series of six episodes aired on Channel 4 in 1997, and a further episode in 2001. The series was created and presented by Chris Morris, written by Morris, David Quantick, Peter Baynham, Jane Bussmann, Arthur Mathews, Graham Linehan and Charlie Brooker and directed by Michael Cumming.

A lame duck that's attacking its own feet with a sledgehammer.
A new legal drug from Czechoslovakia called cake.
A one for one fag exchange.
A school tour for the Oxford Don who believes all animals are vegetarian. Now water crocodiles eat Natalie, other animals. No, they grass.
A second feels like a month. Bob almost sounds like fun. Unless you're the Prague Schoolboy who walked out into the street straight in front of a tram, he thought he got a month to cross the street.
A shocking example, taken from a recent Libyan news.
After 13 years in which he pulped over 4000 weasels, Bernard layering suffered a compound nervous breakdown.
Ahead came out, but it had shrunk and it was now small and smooth and white and so did she put it back in. Now she's walking around. It says here with a small smooth Whitehead about the size of a m...
Air brakes.
Alabaster Codify reports from across the big pond they call the Atlantic Ocean.
Alabaster Codify reports on their latest mess.
Aloe myth down here and matters Lori at that end in all the stages in between.
An hour later, Edmonds appeared at the top window with blood on his face and through what may have been ahead onto the ground below. It is not known what happened to the other guests, but Edmonds h...
An hour later, the drugs are speeding efficiency and decision-making. The odd shirt is changed as old veins are damaged and a small vomiting has taken place profits. Pretty ******* simple. The only...
And as a result of that experience, Ted Mall has been absent for some time with nervous exhaust.
And I can't stop telling you how to spend your money and how to save it, can I?
And I looked over, the clock on the wall was well, it is throwing up.
And if you think about it, those 2 children extremely lucky not to have been killed to bit.
And if you're sick on this stuff, you can puke your fucking self to death. One girl threw up her own pelvis bone, before she snuffed her lid.
And it's cause more sting than a bomb. In one of those holes in the ground in a rock festival. And everybody should sit.
And it's not just the great unhosed. These Raiders all over 200,000 pounds a year in big banks.
And just 2 days ago it was revealed that convicts in Dartmoor prison had been running an International Airport for over 14 years.
And last year the mayor gave them a goldmine.
And maybe that's the point.
And not one had even heard of dry lash, let alone smoked one off.
And sadly, crime experts predict that one day, even friendly conversation between mother and daughter will be conducted at gunpoint.
And so thank Christ for Wolf, the Gladiator, who joined not a moment too soon.
And the future for these little *******
And the locks were well. They were sort of made of something like paper.
And then by your good half a pint of foaming nut Brown Ale. Cheers.
And this is Alabama zip code of her turn and brass eye.
And uh, for all I know, he may well be a bit of a cocoa shunter too.
And yet, on the Isle of Man, Nudity is still considered so shocking. It's illegal for babies to be born naked.
And you know they have, they do have endearing, wonderful habits. Animals I had to Guinea pigs and they were both 11 years old and one died. And you know, just before it died, it washed its little ...
And you leave the kids alone or else.
Animal rights. It's an extremely controversial subject and it's not just the odd dinner party punch up over squealing meat.
Any triple sod?
Anybody here's got a gun. Can leave now 10 minutes later free people are left 2 kids in a deaf guy.
Anything that went on in that fortnight or went on out of it, depending on how you look at it, was that fortnights fault, not ours, is simply a bad fortnight.
Are we now utterly without guidance?
Are you sure?
Are you telling me you definitely got no clarky cat?
Are you the boz boz?
Aren't we a bunch of ******** An elephant could no more get its trunk club. It's us and we could look up old.
As a large buildup of Horsin, a Digger on the 847 tonight and don't forget that in Leicester. Joanna Lumley, Anita Roddick an Helena Bonham Carter are all ******* themselves all night to raise a li...
Ask them how they feel having their brain mashed by invisible lead soup.
Austin Tasseltine
Back to our live cameras now
Baltimora this means literally. I'm running at them now with my trousers down.
Basically it's like being hit by a ton of invisible lead soup.
Basking in rude health or sick to the guts, it's the model monitor now reading less than 2 models per head due to massive value hemorrhage.
Be able to shoot him off the roof as quickly as possible, yes.
Because here every week bear users gathered to watch large men fight with weasels.
Being grossed up to the filth.
Block sort of. Mine would do this.
Bono offer sex to anyone from the former Yugoslavia? That's the U2 lead singer Bono Vox.
Bring back Borstal
Buff my pylon.
Bury the beds. Mattresses, pillows, sheets outside. Bury, now.
But 2 months ago, Ben fetch was fired when on the first day of his transfer to HM S Gooch he reported for lifeboat duty stark naked.
But actually work for a bit this until someone clocked it up with sick.
But during our visit, we clean vital clues from some documents we nicked through an open window.
But even in prison, North Rasta pedic impulses found new outlets.
But guy, naseam babies are often born snapped.
But I lost my faith completely when he farted on my balls.
But last June, out of nowhere, anti cow slogans started appearing on the sheds.
But let's start with a look at how the bidiphar problem has grown over the years.
But not everyone sees the positive side. Peter is allowed out under police escort from Broadmoor to perform a work about his own life in musical form. The catch is, you see he appears on stage and ...
But what about our children?
But what about the bigger picture?
But when he you know Bruce Wayne goes, then it's going to collapse.
But while cruelty still makes our hearts bleed like fresh operations, scars in a hot bath, our daily language is full of abuse. With expressions like frog stupid.
But you will do if you watch for 30 minutes.
By a robot plegic wrong cock.
By growing crops and vegetables vertically up to a mile into the air rather than wastefully taking up more and more land as available, land space is swallowed up. Simple affective ideas like this a...
Cake is a buy stir bar, crawl Bolick and feta moyd, which is a made up psychoactive chemical. It comes from Prague with its own culture of boom raves where kids Wolf down vast quantities of this.
Call Zach the stench of poverty hangs in the air like an old man's Nappy.
Can we be sure that pervert mechanics haven't built him one of these?
Can we lose this thing about a slow crushing of these skull?
Can we stand around and eat pies while they're being fattened like flies? Swatted by the tail of a mad, Invisible Horse? Of course not.
Can you tell me exactly what you mean by a small incident with a pen?
Captain Brugeois on Dec. He noticed his gum was dirty and he cleaned it.
Captain Bruges, why are you being gay with your men?
Carla the Elephant is currently curled up in a kind of a Gray ball. Her trunk is actually stuck up her anus and there not trying to help her.
Carrie was dressed as an Angel. He woke the old man up and told him he was dead and must go outside and Bury himself.
Cause it's people of a smash toes of a lame duck soc.
Channel for little adults, yes.
Cheetah is 15 years old and now because of heavy electricity, she's only 8 inches tall.
Children are made to sit for an hour in front of a drug paraphernalia am while listening to some extremely Monde music.
Chris Morris - Brass Eye Sounds Sound
Chris Morris - Brass Eye Sounds Sound
Chris Morris - Brass Eye Sounds Sound
Chris Morris - Brass Eye Sounds Sound
Chris Morris - Brass Eye Sounds Sound
Chris Morris - Brass Eye Sounds Sound
Chris Morris - Brass Eye Sounds Sound
Chris Morris - Brass Eye Sounds Sound
Chris Morris - Brass Eye Sounds Sound
Chris Morris - Brass Eye Sounds Sound
Chris Morris - Brass Eye Sounds Sound
Chuck it back in the face and tell him to **** ***
Come on, help us get that drunk out.
Cook, drag from Serpentine with Swans stuffed in anus.
Costa Del Blowfly
Could so easily have been like that for Maine, but Luckily the amount of heroin I use is harmless. I inject about once a month on a purely recreational basis. Fine, but what about other people? Les...
Could you beat me off? Even if people were looking?
Cow attached to a filing cabinet.
Cow attached to a mini engine in a shopping trolley.
Crime is confusing.
Crouching because tonight we're following a gang of men who less than half an hour ago broke into that building over there. One of them is a reservist. These men have been specially trained. Look a...
DBL means Dusky Blonde LuLu, and that's a male pedophile disguised as a lion.
Did you?
Do wasps really sting us? Well, they do, they have stung me and it seemed like a sting. Was it actually a sting?
Do you agree with this question? If you don't get a job, he gets stuffed.
Do you feel that vigilantism is actually going to help in the long run?
Do you know what electricity is? The planets in the wire then?
Don't actually do it wears yourself Recocking Specht.
Don't buff my pylon.
Don't end up like a bloody piano dentist.
Donald Trump has received over 7 feet of new tongue.
Drugs destroy families. Well, a disabled lonely teenager are blind mother, but a family held together by the father's crack tingly which he uses to keep them in talking books and Dill Doe.
Drugs need you. If you take the U out of drugs, what have you got? Dugs. Ever heard of anyone get addicted to dugs?
Due to industrial ultra bowler carbons 2, clouds are being replaced by mutant clouds. Like serious, serious jovo Nimbus, an Alto syphilis, more and more. These are turning upside down and injecting...
During the Blitz, when many clocks were destroyed, Londoners could tell the time by watching a dog throw itself off the high board, which it did precisely every 60 seconds, 24 hours a day for over ...
Even Saddam Hussein has an access he's obsessed with having white ladies wrists.
Everybody had keys to everybody else's house and, uh.
Fat use.
Fetch is as gay as a window
Find out exactly what to think next.
Fondled by a nonce
Food.
For a while that was it. Nothing was doing until we rooted as startlingly new evidence from this man. Ben fetch. For a year he served under Captain Bruges.
For many years, suffered secretly from the painful effects of Presto, did Wicks can Gina a rare blood disorder which causes sudden involuntary erected pressure.
For street disturbances, the Metropolitan Police are now breeding elephants following their successful deployment in Athens and Turin.
For the 10th time I don't know what Clark he can means. No cat, cat. What does this mean? This stuff, The Chew? I don't know it. You know the grass stuff that you do not know it blocking out triple...
For the cops, it's a jungle where dangerous animals speak Swahili.
For the kids, it's a Depravities Supermarket where bad is free and SOC foots the bill.
Free the United Kingdom from drugs and British opposition to metabolically by storball drugs.
Free the United Kingdom from drugs, incorporating British opposition to metabolically by steurbaut drugs.
Frog stupid.
From a moon cause it's a little dot from the ground it's a huge mess, like Dahntay meets Bosch in a crack lounge.
From Debs to plebs, this decade is not so much. The 90s is the yard, Dang kitties.
From what you're saying, have we got it right or wrong?
Fucknut.
Gary Glitter said good to be back, but in your case that does not apply.
Gascoigne used as currency for cigarettes.
Gazza.
Gelland Sainz Bomac matters are a rapidly pair of old puffins who remember Cosic in the days when people could still be trusted.
German version and she knows not with the machinery itself. In time Matthew alone his level with company profits still rising. It is unlikely that anyone here will want to change the chemistry. Wow.
Get out! Now! Look at me!.. Get out!
Get right out of the bed. No half measures. You must get your whole body out of the bed right out from under the sheets right off the mattress until you're standing up, you won't get anywhere. Slou...
Give us a fag, I'll give you 2 next week.
Give us a fagge yummy too, so I'm letting you off the other one.
God, how long would you beat me off 4?
God, how long would you beat me off? 4 as long as it took really all the way.
Good evening, now this is the nerve center of Tonight's program to help paint a true picture of the state of Britain. We have light surveillance cameras at one of them as a Reporter stuck on the fr...
Good luck.
Good, but not enough.
Good, thanks for talking to us.
Goodnight
Goodnight
Hattie Jacques' Pretentious Cheese Wog.
He's been arrested for menacing a helpless codger
He's Cab Johnson, a submental who died last week at the asylum, where he lived for the last 27 years.
Heavy electricity is regularly flattening cattle in Sri Lanka. Afterwards the poor beast look like giant fur covered slugs thrashing about on their backs and made of what scientists call wobbly mat...
Heavy electricity, now that's a bit trickier. It's caused by particle accelerator's sending huge jolts of power into domestic power lines. These not electricity back into its wild state, which is m...
Heavy water deeply confuses River flow systems. Just last month, two rivers got completely lost and were found wandering uselessly about the southern oceans. Sadly, bad clouds equals bad science.
Hello, I'm Richard Briers. I want to tell you about graph wisp and heavy electricity. Calf wisp is the global consortium for a First World Initiative. Unscientific practice, self explanatory, really.
Hello, I'm Tonya, Brian. I'm here to tell you about a new space saving farm idea. Look at this typical farm uses a lot of land, doesn't it? Now look at this. It's a vertical tube farm capable of gr...
Hello, my name is Cesar. The sad truth about heavy electricity is that people in power and in government are too afraid to rock the boat when it comes to helping people. An help in certain situatio...
Hello, you think you don't know me, don't you? Yes, but you do because I'm the shopkeeper. You shot in a mindless hold up.
Here that I browser shaved off which undermines their self respect rather well.
Here.
Hi this is Bruno Brooks. We like to party right absolutely but only a fool would say yeah I'll into the nightmare of cake.
Homosexuals can't swim, they attract enemy radar. They attract sharks. They insist on being placed at the captains table. They get up late, they nudge people whilst there shooting. They muck about.
How do you set up your picture of any lips I love? I wanted you to see my naked body by Highland, but my mom had to catch me inspired and I don't think even you could have given me.
How on earth can you justify this?
How would you feel if you there at accidentally grass yourself?
How's it going?
Howard's Arse
I am from soc. You're not from society. How do you get back into society?
I am not an expert on air traffic control. I thought they were landing nearby, but not in my presence.
I can't believe it. Your little Ponce you gone done it again in charge.
I didn't get runs by slacking. I work hard. I grafted I practiced. I did it as well as I could properly.
I do think if somebody's gonna bought this record just 'cause of the faucets be made about it, I think they should throw it away and then they should go and buy another copy because they like the s...
I don't know what's happened to. Apparently Clive Anderson was shot. Cleverness was shocked by who, not by Noel Edmonds. Yeah, what, no?
I hate you.
I just want something from Mexico really blue T.
I mean in Gotham City in the United States, they call up a specialist vigilante agent when they're in times of real trouble by projecting a huge luminous emergency bat sign into the Sky and he come...
I sorry yes.
I suppose if there was an element of stick, yeah, Richard Branson up in a balloon watching this situation and saying there's your £26,000. But I'm watching you from a balloon and I could see a very...
I think they'll go away thinking maybe maybe he's really messing misunderstood man. Maybe that 20 years ago was taking the ****
I wanted 315 year olds really on drugs, no. We proved it in tests.
I'll tell you what I'm less interested in, giving you £40 to end up on a quack handle.
I'm at a modern drugs party. They're taking Charlie, he's got Spliff smoke coming out of his drug in as someone over there smoking a crack.
I'm at the garage in the centre of Clapton in London, which is rated every 35 minutes day and night, so we hope that join the next half hour so we may well see some action here this evening.
I'm going inside now like a bad boy.
I'm here to ask a question. Is alarm justified? Is time running out for cosmic or is this the start of a new day? The first day of spring?
I'm Marvin Gaye shot by my own father. Oh yes, you know me. Alright, look up my eyes, murderer you killed me.
I'm out of wampum, I spazzed it all on a horse.
I'm sitting opposite a man. He knows nothing. He talks all the time. The result is a trenchant buffoon. He has no idea how to present television shows. He looks ridiculous in that fashion where he ...
Idiot ******* idiot, idiot, idiot idiot idiot stupid stupid ******* idiot.
If a cooler calls me on my show and then suddenly on the on the phone one minute and then there are affected by heavy electricity, they could be blown 100 feet away. That is a dangers of heavy elec...
If we think it's bad in this country if we think it's bad in Europe, it's worse in Libya.
If you take a seal and hit it very hard in the face every day for 6 weeks, you may turn it into a rather fetching hat.
If you think of a fly and you pull its wings off, it'll crawl. If you push the back half of its body onto the surface it's squiggling on, then you've got its total undivided attention.