Schitt's Creek (2015) - Season 3 Edit

A brief description of the business.

A bunch of guests checking in,

A clearer idea of what you want to do with your business.

A convoluted metaphor, but um...

A country club ladies' locker room,

A country club ladies' locker room,

A couple of times, and I may have...

A garden?

A hashtag? Is that two words?

A little brisk with this guest?

A little editing, nothing major.

A lot of family run businesses

A meat processor in the end, is it?

A note, coming from my son?!

A roadway.

A total babe in the political woods.

A volunteer usher who died last year.

A whole road?

About a month ago I heard from the

About all the new words you're learning

About curating a selection of products from local vendors

About how successful the night was,

About stepping into someone else's world.

About that chapter of your life.

About the garden.

About this baggy of Joshua tree tea?

About what happened between you and me.

About what is really important in life,

Actually I wanted you to be the first to know

Actually, David noticed first last night,

Actually, I played them for a few friends of mine,

Actually, the textbooks now say eighteen months.

Actually, they... they all come framed.

Adult high five?

After I offered to pay for the plaque,

After ****ling me with relentless demands!

After that though.

After winning what some people called a landmark victory

After you.

Aggressive move, Joan.

Agreed.

Agreed. Agreed.

Ah ha.

Ah, because you just took it from the fridge

Ah, but you had to push the button.

Ah, either way you do need to call the electrician

Ah, hey, I... Alexis? I, um...

Ah, I plan on popping a pill,

Ah, name tags.

Ah, no, no. I want to say, that I got you a little something

Ah, no. Technically, I think it's our juice,

Ah, see, and that's precisely why we have the sign out sheet.

Ah, this is for you.

Ah, um, and just listened to the first one,

Ah, we talked about it this morning, John!

Ah, when you say they slept together...

Ah, you know, we can...

Ah... You're you're here.

Ahh...

Ahhh. Like if she had an "accident" or something?

Ahhh...

Alexis and...

Alexis has lice,

Alexis Rose.

Alexis, do you mind sticking around for a minute?

Alexis, I didn't think you were coming in today.

Alexis, I have a favour...

Alexis, I hope you know

Alexis, I just got an email from your school.

Alexis, what a delightful surprise!

Alexis, you've worked very hard

Alexis.

All of me.

All of those big things of hand cream.

All of us.

All right, I'll agree,

All right, let me write this down.

All right, pal.

All right, that is enough, David.

All right, well if you don't want my help,

All right, well, have fun, sweetheart,

All right, well, why don't we tell Kitty that?

All right.

All right. Goodnight, sweetheart.

All right. We'll figure it out.

Almost didn't recognize you over there.

Also not an option,

Also very well dressed.

Also, how many beds are in the room?

Also, I'm kind of a samurai

Also, I'm kind of a samurai

Although I did think that there would be more of them.

Although there was a moment last night,

Although, you know, we'd be, ah, 25 percent richer

Although...

An extra half hour to my morning run,

And a drop cloth.

And a few spelling mistakes, and I mean...

And a good chunk of the upkeep.

And a grandmother, that it might be tough

And a ring light.

And a welcome escape.

And activating my allergies.

And adult work together.

And backtowards!

And basically, nothing happened.

And Bob over here, he's got his bench.

And by that I mean it's very hot outside,

And by the fact that you're a good ten years older

And can you please stop saying his full name.

And compliment each other professionally.

And correct.

And David got very upset about it.

And deal with it!

And didn't pay for it so...

And don't get too carried away.

And gave him what he deserved,

And get something to deal with that now!

And graduation celebration all in one.

And halal.

And has absolutely no ulterior motive.

And have fun, sweetheart.

And he says that nothing happened,

And he told me I must respect that.

And he wants me to play.

And help out after school, if you want.

And her dog has lice,

And here I thought I gave you

And hey, if I don't get a hold of you,

And I "leaned in" to the moment.

And I actually think that I might've been the one

And I am gonna grade that one instead.

And I am paying you for the day.

And I am powerless against that.

And I am taking preventative measures.

And I can sell like hair feathers and body jewelry...

And I can't afford it.

And I could really use some help.

And I couldn't even tell him what I wanted to do with it!

And I couldn't find anything.

And I did... Okay, we'll talk when you have more time do...

And I didn't wanna wear one of theirs.

And I do not see your name down here.

And I don't just mean literally.

And I don't know what his preferences are.

And I feel like that needs to be celebrated.

And I feel like you will need it.

And I forgot to throw out his toothbrush.

And I just don't have the heart to tell him

And I just wanted to do something thoughtful for you.

And I know that you love discounts,

And I may have underestimated you before,

And I really don't think that that would be

And I regret it!

And I squandered it, passed out in Roland's bed.

And I think I come in second

And I think it might be confusing if I gave you

And I think part of the problem, David,

And I think that's part of the reason

And I think we should take out like a full page

And I wanna explore that.

And I was hoping to use the motel as a kind of a...

And I was like... Mere dith,

And I was worried about you overreacting.

And I wasn't even there, so.

And I will be happy to walk you through it.

And I will not feel shame about the mall pretzels.

And I would be happy to assist you with those applications.

And I... I like having you here.

And I'd think twice about that garden.

And I'll respect your wishes.

And I'm currently studding business,

And I'm David's sister and life coach so.

And I'm drunk.

And I'm going to need another...

And I'm gonna let you go now.

And I'm pretty sure parents are supposed to

And I'm so glad you did, Patrick,

And I'm sorry, but that was no Sunday school teacher

And I'm sure you have your reasons.

And I'm very much looking forward

And I've come to the unfortunate conclusion

And in the interest of us potentially working together

And instead, lean in to the fact

And it gets better!

And it turns out she has lice.

And it would be weird.

And it's always better to go under.

And it's just a group of business professionals

And it's not a flock, my dear boy...

And it's not my fault that you weren't there.

And it's very difficult to work with someone

And Johnny your right eyebrow kind of just pops up

And just fill them out when you have a...

And just make sure that her cat's doing okay.

And last year the net was stolen.

And laugh at your animal puns isn't enough

And leave my pregnant baby penniless.

And look at... look at the labels on everything.

And Lynyrd Skynyrd.

And make four smaller, individual portraits.

And Mama Oprah would be very proud of us.

And mattress covers.

And Mom clearly already has a lift,

And not to put too fine a point on it, Roland,

And now I have to do the whole thing again,

And now it's a thriving lifestyle publication slash empire, and...

And now that I've said it out loud, I might have to double check.

And now that you've done this,

And of course the bad news is

And offering a 25 percent friends and family discount.

And one other actress.

And please don't go down that path again.

And put it in your paper, and claim it as your own?

And Ray, when you've got a bad hand,

And recognition always go hand in hand, but...

And Roland... well, you know...

And Ronnie's got her rec center.

And scalp massages.

And scary looking attire."

And see how you're enjoying your multiple room stay?

And selling them on consignment in a one stop shop

And set things straight.

And she promised them a cut of the profits in return.

And she shouldn't be too embarrassed.

And she told me you're still pretty upset, huh?

And she's worried that she now has lice.

And shouting and I did what he told me to do

And smells a bit.

And so he's here.

And some guy basically told me

And some of them don't even have pets,

And some other like gorgeous,

And somebody's cat is better.

And stream it live from our clinic.

And that it's been really bothering you.

And that we could put all that unpleasantness behind us.

And that would be different from the other times because...

And that's something we didn't discuss.

And that's something, that's what I just said to you, so...

And that's when you help someone out

And the diamond shaped things are wild.

And the Elmdale Songbirds have had to drop out

And the scarf. Is this *** wearing it, is it?

And the...

And then another with my family

And then erased the rest?

And then fell out of my hand into my drink.

And then he told you it was a failure?

And then I lost interest.

And then I stepped on it a lot. So...

And then I'll come back.

And then it occurred to me that...

And then the hat with the thing on it

And then they give you lip balm

And there it is.

And there's a reason for that.

And there's a sheep farm that's expecting us in 20 minutes

And Theresa, a badminton racket?

And these products that Alexis was showing me yesterday

And they love puppies,

And they want to name a garden after me.

And this just brought down the whole average!

And this requires a lead vocal

And this time it's for something really positive.

And this time it's for something really positive.

And thought that we should have it.

And to sober people everywhere.

And unless you planning on purchasing that lip balm

And untoward?

And very discreet.

And watched "Bridget Jones's Diary"

And we have to put a wig on her. But not one of my wigs!

And we probably shouldn't read anything

And we should congratulate your mother

And we'll get this done

And we're done. Back to your room.

And what are these numbers for?

And what did you do with Theodore Mullins?

And what might this have to do with me?

And when were you planning on telling me this, John?!

And where do you think I'll get that money?

And while my therapist said I should never feel sorrow,

And while the Bosnian Riviera is a majestic locale,

And yes, we will be selling things,

And you ate all those mall pretzels,

And you better not look them in it.

And you can find little homes

And you can offer up some professional advice,

And you don't go all, ooh, Roland, my generation,

And you know his commitment to his work.

And you know that I mean that,

And you know the only thing missing is...

And you know why, honey? Because you're better...

And you met him through me.

And you must be kidding yourself

And you say, yeah, yeah,

And you were doing this like,

And you're a beautiful subject.

And you've sampled half the store at this point.

And your hair's in a ponytail,

And... gives the neck a chance to breathe,

And... it's not a full six yet;

Another feather in your cap, huh?

Answered his questions, and believe me,

Any of those other amazing achievements.

Anyone. Else.

Anything else is bullshit.

Apparently her husband, Roland,

Apparently really high,

Apparently there's a lice outbreak in your class.

Are a very effective marketing tool.

Are are you wearing a shower cap?!

Are there two Claras?!

Are they sending a script?

Are those the people we wanna be targeting?

Are we all gonna be buried here?

Are we ready to do this?

Are we thinking studio or on location?

Are you enjoying your stay in our town?

Are you kidding?

Are you naked under there?

Are you passing this economics course?

Are you sure that you wrote this yourself?

Are you sure you didn't put the same reservation in twice?

Are you talking about me?

Aren't we all.

Aren't we stuck in the Dark Ages.

As a cover for my extreme vanity!

As appealing as you make that sounds, Roland,

As in, for me.

As long as we have some time,

As much as I love the spotlight,

As much as I would love to contribute

Asking herself the same question.

At my gallery.

At my place would have nothing to do with the fact

At the conference last night.

At the last minute.

At the motel?

Aw...

Awww.

Back scratches, lipstick prints.

Back to work o.

Bacon wrapped scallops.

Basically, yeah.

Battin' a thousand here, David.

Because he bought you a present.

Because I agree, our social predicament

Because I bet Mr. Schnabel

Because I got a pair of Queens.

Because I think it's best that we talk man to man.

Because I was just thinking that this frame

Because I wasn't around to help you cheat back then,

Because I would hate to have to assert my mayoral authority

Because I'm benching 225 right now,

Because if I was sleeping in my bed,

Because it looks like she's giving me the finger.

Because it's actually pretty gross.

Because it's your job.

Because Moira was so exhausted when she got in this morning.

Because Moira's coming out soon and I really don't...

Because no one helped her write it.

Because she's only using the rooms during the day.

Because their court ordered. So...

Because there aren't any roses.

Because we are an ensemble group

Because we didn't talk about it.

Because we have way too much work to do today

Because we're in business together,

Because we've heard through the rumor mill that um...

Because you asked me first.

Because you didn't.

Because you know what you wanna do with your business,

Because you're the one who told us

Because you're the only one using that sign out sheet.

Because you've done that before.

Because you've really helped to turn it

Because your daughter is graduating high school.

Because... I'm incapable of faking sincerity.

Been spending as much time together,

Been there.

Before opening internationally!

Before the store has even birthed

Before you even got in this morning.

Before you share them or post them.

Besides you just,

Besides, people are making love in these rooms,

Between two names at the moment,

Big day, Stevie!

Big store opening?

Big tour group coming through, so...

Bob is trying to get his poker night together again

Bob's Bench.

Both consider Sebastien Raine a dear friend.

Brad Poloski...

Breakout space to conduct my own business out of,

Broken moral compass.

Bug me.

Bully me into allowing you to stay here!

But according to the sign out sheet,

But ah, I do miss my wristwatch.

But could we just have one minute when I compliment you,

But don't really look at her, look at me.

But don't worry,

But hey, I'm just a numbers guy.

But I am Alexis,

But I am so proud of this little team.

But I can't help but think

But I do need to put something down here.

But I do understand that old women

But I don't have to tell you that.

But I don't like your tone.

But I don't think it'll be of much use to you.

But I feel like the other ladies are very...

But I got all your messages.

But I think a more effective use of your time right now,

But I think it would make Johnny really happy

But I think that may have been there before.

But I think under my wing, she's she's learning to fly.

But I think with time

But I think you're gonna need some more start up money.

But I told a few people about your big store opening.

But I took a moment to stop and think

But I will be here for you if it is bad news.

But I'm also happy to keep dancing with one of them.

But I'm really glad that someone told you....

But I'm working on it,

But I've always loved shooting on location,

But I've got a reservation,

But I've gotta say, you've proven me wrong,

But if all goes according to plan,

But if those bunnies feel exploited even a little bit,

But if you insist on referring to me as the linchpin.

But it has run that way three years in a row!

But it was really bugging me that your cupboards

But it'll be in Baltic currency,

But it's also a very specific store.

But it's more like...

But it's my high school graduation on Friday.

But it's not supposed to be firm.

But it's really more about combing them out.

But just so we're clear,

But look, if it makes you feel any better,

But my body just isn't having it.

But my wife would never go out for a burger

But not in that hand.

But not to worry.

But not without first shaving all her beautiful hair!

But people love extreme vanity!

But Sebastien Raine puts his subjects first.

But Sebastien, I was under the impression

But sleeping with your husband

But Stevie offered her place this morning.

But still a really fresh take.

But that is certainly... not the case now.

But that's exactly when there is a huge spike

But that's so sweet. Thank you.

But the bed's already made up.

But the other day at work Ted and I went to hug...

But the other reason is that

But the Roses' will not be at graduation.

But the song was my idea, Jocelyn.

But there will always be somebody for me

But there's a big fat line between charm and bullshit.

But these ones actually smell like very clean,

But they, they forget... other things.

But this little particular little tribute

But those of us in the know affectionately called it...

But to hand out discounts

But Twyla's been working on your part for the duet,

But uh...

But um, a different improvement.

But we are both thriving professionally,

But when it turns out I'm right,

But who's counting?

But you don't volunteer here.

But you know, maybe... maybe Roland could go?

But you should call her back. And I, in the mean time,

But you're living with somebody who does have lice,

But you're living with somebody who does have lice,

But you've just told me you don't care

But your review will scare off the guests we need

But, alas, that's not what this world is anymore.

But, I volunteer to work here.

But, this happens to be one of the only possessions that...

But, uh, I could look at this and there we were.

But, you know, hey, the more the merrier.

But... I don't think you're going to be interested.

But... that's really generous of you, Alexis.

By a very off brand customer in the line outside.

By my side when we make this budget pitch.

By the likes of you two.

By the uh... the vending machine... so...

By way of teen pregnancies,

By wearing one of our hats that we now can't sell.

Bye!

Can everyone stop saying lice please?!

Can get very possessive about young... younger...

Can I ask you something?

Can I crash at your place?

Can I have my juice back, please?

Can I just get the paperwork, and then I can...

Can I see?

Can only be described as untoward."

Can play this game all day, pal.

Can we cover it with something or...?

Can we help you, David?

Can we talk tomorrow?

Can you drink these?

Can you just look? Can... eyes, eyes!

Can't use his real name to check into a love motel.

Cedar dragon.

Ciao!

Ciao! I said ciao to that person.

Closer.

Closet organization?

Collectively, as a whole?

Come here, take a look.

Come here! Come here! Come here!

Come on!

Come on.

Come, let's walk. Creativity lives on its feet.

Coming outta here!

Confused the engraver.

Congratulations to you.

Congratulations, graduates,

Congratulations, man.

Consolidating all of your products under one label

Could a lice jump from her bed to my bed?

Croatia,

Crying a bit and falling asleep early.

Cute!

Dad, that's so mean!

Dad, what did you do to my paper?!

Damian Steele.

Dare we try the deep fried mozzarella stick platter?

David and Alexis.

David did all this?

David Rose, you bought the General Store.

David, do you still have that camera?

David, I feel terrible that you had to do that just for me.

David, I need the car keys,

David, I was just about to sample

David, I'm thinking maybe I'll stay the night,

David, if the business is foundering it's best to tell us now.

David, it's an audition for a feature film!

David, stop.

David, there's nothing here but...

David, we are happy to support this modest little vigil you're hosting

David, you don't have lice.

David, your inability to retain information

David, your mother is a revelation.

David!

David! Do you know where the car keys are?

David! I did?

David?!

David.

David.

David.

Day ends at five, but sure.

Day or night. People love pizazz.

Dear, we know all about the failed engagements.

Decompressing for a few hours,

Dedicated to emergency vehicles.

Definitely.

Did it grow?

Did like an exclusive VIP guest list, and offered,

Did she... happen to say anything about that quote

Did you ask if you can drink it, too?

Didn't really come up as one of the reasons

Do I have the car keys? No. No.

Do we call him Uncle Roland?

Do you guys need anything else?

Do you have any plans for today or?

Do you know that I'm actually good at this!

Do you require two toothbrushes?

Do you think the Van Housens had it enlarged?

Do you wanna order some thing to put chocolate sauce on?

Do you want me to keep going?

Do you want me to look?

Do you want me to put in a good word?

Do...

Does Dot have arthritis?

Does that mean we get a 50 percent discount?

Does the real Moira Rose live in a studio?

Doesn't come through, then I won't...

Doesn't fit, John.

Doesn't mean that you couldn't get it tonight,

Doesn't mean we can't still see each other, right?

Doing it. Here you go.

Don't be dissing Sarah McLachlan.

Don't waste your time thinking about those human vultures.

Don't worry it's only me.

Don't worry, I'm just using you for scale.

Don't you think?

Dot, you won't need the Swiffer.

Dot.

Duplicitousness?!

During a long day at a regional accountants' conference,

During the afternoons.

During the evenings.

Enjoy your breakfast.

Enormous strength of this family.

Er, if... if we both have plus ones for the opening,

Even adult ones.

Even better.

Even coming from the kitchen they lost a lot of shape.

Even without a nagging sense of obligation.

Ever the renegade.

Every day for a year.

Every grad night we like to pretend to be other people...

Every Rose Video we opened had fireworks.

Every year he buys me coconut macaroons,

Everybody graduates from high school.

Everybody, I'd like to introduce Alexis,

Everyone up!

Ewww!

Ewww! What?!

Ewwww!

Ewwwww!

Exactly how I pictured it.

Except I haven't decided which bed to sleep in,

Excuse me, Mrs. Rose,

Excuse me?

Family! I have exciting news!

Far be it from me to stand in the way

Find everything okay?

Fine, we'll just keep it for the day.

Five, four, three, two...

Five, four...

Flattering.

Fleas, ticks, worms.

For a pick up of some wool throws.

For an exciting enterprise.

For Damien Steele.

For example,

For his store opening.

For me to feel attacked by way

For more than seven major

For my business.

For now.

For oversized paintings of other people's families.

For passing your exams.

For quite a while now,

For sleeping, right?

For some reason I pictured you living underground.

For somebody to have something named for them in this town!

For the bunnies?

For the bunnies' sake.

For the duet next week?

For the municipalities?

For the next two days,

For the performance next week.

For the store.

For their birthday.

For this and many other towns.

For this kind of dispute.

For those apostrophe "s's."

For those little bunnies that don't have any houses.

For two years now and nothing.

For um...

For us to be doing this for you.

For you and your charges.

For you I will talk to that odious little man,

For your body, so no,

Form from you.

Formal training is usually encouraged.

Fortunately, I'm an very generous person.

Four, if you include the month

Friends are getting the same discount as family? That doesn't sound right.

From Lee lacocca?

From my birthday a bit though.

From our first sale at the store.

From road salting to quarry inspection to...

From that beautiful face.

Full house. Read 'em and weep.

Funny thing. I just ran into Jocelyn.

Fussy little (Bleep)!

Gareth, murder!

Gavin is here... The road salt guy...

Geez, I didn't realize this place was a front.

Getting last minute accommodations but...

Ginnifer? Or Jennifer with a "G?"

Give me the memory card, Sebastien.

Give me your camera.

Give you more time to... oscillate.

Go get it, please!

God, it'd be such big shoes to fill.

Good luck with the rest of the project.

Good morning, Roses.

Good morning!

Good to see you, Mr. and Mrs. Rose.

Good,

Good. All right, so my deal.

Good. I'm having a bit of a night myself here.

Good... good.

Goodbye, my darling.

Goodbye, phone call!

Goodnight, Alexis.

Goodnight, David.

Goodnight, Patrick.

Granted, all of those were on house pets.

Great.

Great.

Guest bedroom, what is he, Bill Gates?

Gwen is very trustworthy.

Gwen, these Teriyaki meatballs they're delicious.

Gwen, you called it!

Gwen's gotta go!

Gwyneth who soft launched the 'goop' newsletter

Ha ha, very drôle, Mr. Rose.

Ha, now it's sounding like you don't think people will show.

Had I known.

Handling what better?

Hang a portrait of the family in the workplace.

Happy birthday.

Hard at it, huh?

Hardly.

Has to happen within two weeks.

Haunting.

Have I been let go? Should I leave?

Have to have a six pack?!

Have you seen Dad's coasters?

Haven't you noticed how Gwen circles the table

Having a bit of a problem with the system here,

Having your name on a small, local garden

He bought you a present.

He did?

He hasn't even asked for my phone number,

He is on a date with you right now.

He looks like if Ricky Martin and Mark Consuelos had a baby.

He says the comma's a typo,

He sleeps naked every night.

He thinks you guys were here, one on one.

He told me to come back to him

He was naked?

He was supposed to be show up an hour ago.

He'd make more money than being a vet!

He's a business major that wears straight leg,

He's a monster, who uses people,

He's a pretty eligible bachelor.

He's coming here.

He's extremely generous,

He's gone to get coasters.

He's here. All right.

He's managed to create, in this town, something truly winsome.

He's most likely wearing a very expensive sweater,

He's not into me.

He's running pretty low on chips.