Schitt's Creek (2015) - Season 4 Edit

A 100%.

A 2 for 1 discount for 2 singles eating together.

A bit of advice from someone who's been around.

A boy, I believe I told you that.

A closed book that falls open

A couple of our guests the set up.

A cult. A cult. Our family joined a cult.

A few more to do's off that list

A fresh bouquet of flowers...

A hard time focusing on this exciting career opportunity

A hold up, a minor issue.

A larger size, maybe?

A light bulb in the back, so we... oh, hey.

A lip buzzing 'til I'm blue in the face!

A little bit confusing.

A little bit more inclusive.

A little depressed.

A little depressed.

A little past curfew.

A lot of these are from Mom.

A man needs to be brought to justice.

A nicely sculpted physique.

A particularly runty one, like Cindy,

A reporter? Here? Now!

A Slovakian shot putter, so I'm with Roland.

A special little lock can come along,

A sweet little button face, David,

A synchronized swimming routine at 2am.

A War Vet.

A year later, and she is like right back in it.

A year?

Aaaah! I always knew this would happen!

About a dead body in one of the rooms.

About harboring a little secret?

About how I'm feeling,

About me being left alone in a room

About that on the comment cards.

About the lock and key event.

About this. We can't just wait for people to come in.

About what we can pull off.

About whether it's a boy or a girl.

About you know, the rash?

About your history,

Accessorized with sculptures from some of the world's

Accessorizing motel bathrooms

According to this, you're alive again.

Accurately guessed the sex of her daughter's baby,

Acting like you were doing us a favour with the rollout.

Actually Johnny,

Actually um,

Actually, I do, and I would love to keep chatting,

Advent calendar of apologies,

Affirmative. Mmhmm.

Affirmative. Mmhmm.

After a bottle of this. Right?

After all my fans have endured?

After reading what was on your cookie.

After the motel with Roland.

After we all broke up,

After we handle this!

After, definitely after.

Again, quit implies a negative connotation

Against their business manager, Mr. Albert Percy.

Ah, but, do the rooms have a...

Ah, did she?

Ah, good!

Ah, I thought it was the shoes.

Ah, Mrs. Rose, I didn't know

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah!

Ah! No! Okay.

Ah.

Ah.

Ahem, well, that went well.

Ahem!

Ahem. Hi.

Ahhh! Oh...

Alas, I do not.

Albany literally makes me wanna kill myself.

Albany, I was sitting there!

Alexis has been working on herself.

Alexis isn't the one who's pregnant.

Alexis Rose.

Alexis told him she loved him.

Alexis was right, he's a button.

Alexis, he doesn't still hold any interest for you?

Alexis, hey.

Alexis, I don't love you calling me Johnny.

Alexis, I stumbled upon Ted in the café this morning,

Alexis, I'm sorry.

Alexis, now is not the time for pettifogging!

Alexis, that's wonderful!

Alexis, wait.

Alexis, we're equally proud of you, dear.

Alexis, you know me, I'm not one to overstep,

Alexis! Just in time!

Alexis! You're wrinkled in the back.

Alexis?

Alexis? Alexis, Alexis!

All I'm saying is keep an open mind, okay?

All I'm saying is keep an open mind, okay?

All in favour of singles week?

All of a sudden, expected attention

All of the products that you've stolen.

All of the texts, and the gifts.

All right, all right, all right. All right. Fine.

All right, consider this camel's back broken.

All right, I'm dismissing both Juror 75 and Juror 23.

All right, I'm getting the hint.

All right, let's give it a try!

All right, no key. No key.

All right, so it got held up.

All right, thank you very much, and we will be in touch.

All right, um...

All right, we do need help at the motel, we do need someone,

All right, well, we have one here

All right, which way do you swipe to get rid of this one?

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All the things that you're supposed to feel,

All the way to my own bed.

All the way to the corner, here.

All these years later?

All this for myself!

All those compliments, and fist pumps...

Alone time, Johnny. I just need some alone time.

Alrighty, I think we should get to rehearsal, okay?

Also, I didn't know that.

Also, I know everything about you,

Although I'd suggest talking to me, and...

Although Jocelyn, I'm wondering,

Although they could be friends too, I don't know,

Although, this is a new batch.

Always leave some room for spontaneity.

Always the closed book, our Alexis. Bless her soul.

Always the little philanthrope.

Am I right, guys?

Am I right, Johnny?

Am I wearing the wrong top?

An effective business strategy,

An exclusivity deal with this vendor,

An M and an F,

And 3 texts from Jocelyn.

And a brief seance, Roland and I have decided...

And a brush.

And a few pages of temporary letterhead.

And a sprinkle of cocoa powder for you.

And again you know, my thing with ghosts?

And also, I know you're in a relationship, um,

And an explosion.

And an honor I dream not of!

And anything else you want, just let me know.

And apparently they're like very serious.

And are we married to that venue?

And as much as I appreciate the offer,

And ask your advice.

And at one point you yelled, "Line!"

And at one point, you all...

And be really into the woods.

And by subject I mean genuine human emotion.

And call it the Budd Inn.

And celebrate for the rest of the day?

And claimed it as your own?

And Colleen's express shipping a branzino, so.

And come from a long line of Adriatic royalty,

And couldn't make it to the Seafood Potluck.

And do some of the grunt work.

And do you know who my last target was?

And do you think we still have it?

And don't worry, I'll be vetting everyone in advance.

And even heuristic exercise.

And everybody just calm down. Nobody's been murdered.

And everyone knows you don't plan a whole party

And everything changed.

And excuse me, but this is the first time

And expecting us to get back together

And explains why I've been found here.

And find a new lock.

And for finishing up cleaning,

And Founder of Alexis Rose whatever you called it

And from what I understand, it was one bungle after another.

And from what I've heard I don't really wanna dig

And fun, and flirty.

And generally speaking,

And generous.

And get him a job right here in the motel, so...

And get more of these peanut butter things

And get the locks and keys for this morning's event.

And give you free booze, but uh,

And giving me the cravings, and morning sickness.

And go to the hardware store,

And hammer's about to drop.

And have a good old fashioned Rose family barbecue.

And having sexy honeymoon weekends?

And he asked me for a painkiller.

And he is just always... there.

And he stands about yay tall,

And he suggested that I wear it every day.

And he thinks with a little Photoshopping,

And he's whispering, "retire!"

And help out my best friend!

And her husband has come down with gout for the third time.

And here you are shoving Bumpkins in my face.

And hey, for the record,

And hire some staff, and dating experts,

And his friend.

And his new girlfriend, Harriet?

And honestly, would you rather be thought of as dead,

And how are we getting around?

And how's this helping me?

And I also have a super easy multi step plan in place

And I am gonna tell him that I am,

And I am so thrilled that you would choose me

And I am telling you, that you have got it,

And I am very excited to not, not be with him anymore.

And I am willing to roll up my sleeves,

And I can assure you that a fun night is guaranteed

And I can return these tickets to the Julia Stiles a thon

And I can't quite put my finger on.

And I compromise all the time.

And I didn't wanna fall into old habits,

And I don't expect you to say it back to me, right now,

And I don't know what choice you have.

And I don't know what kind of carnage

And I don't know where he went.

And I don't wanna add more stress to your day,

And I don't wanna do anything to upset Ted.

And I faced my fears, and now look at us!

And I fertilized it to fruition.

And I got you extra performance time,

And I had gotten the test from the pharmacy,

And I have literally zero interest in animals,

And I have missed him a lot.

And I have some top secret information

And I just gave Stevie the day off.

And I keep a sleeping bag in the car.

And I know how much the singles event means to you.

And I know it was done with the best of intentions.

And I know who I'll be leaving with.

And I know you think it's very funny,

And I mean every word of it.

And I mean it when I tell you

And I must say, I am entirely relieved.

And I need to get back out there and meet people.

And I need you just to listen.

And I respect that.

And I should get back for my shift.

And I should get back for my shift.

And I think he might already be spoken for?

And I think I need some time with it.

And I think it's the fact that

And I think there were some other sides on the table,

And I think things would've gotten very dark.

And I think you're really going to like him,

And I thought I was doing the right thing,

And I thought we could bring some wine from the store,

And I thought why not help out a buddy in the process?

And I told him I'd do him a favour,

And I wanted to get someone's... your...

And I wanted to give 'em a fighting chance

And I was actually nervous, too.

And I was also dressed by my mother well into my teens,

And I was asked to step in.

And I was so anxious to find out,

And I was telling him that he should be... heading home?

And I will be charging Council my full fee.

And I will eventually need my bed back.

And I will start bringing out the food.

And I would just hate to see it all

And I would like nothing better

And I would put the peanut butter square down,

And I wrote down the new combination on a sticky note.

And I, for one, am through with trying to impress people.

And I... I wouldn't want to

And I'd be kidding myself if I told you

And I'd say that we had a pretty fun time working together.

And I'll get this bad boy up and running for ya?

And I'm actually organizing this little event, so...

And I'm feeling very alone. Mhmm. Mm!

And I'm going through a lot right now.

And I'm gonna need the family to help us through this.

And I'm happy for you, I really am,

And I'm here, and I got your text.

And I'm hoping this is good for your act!

And I'm like, if you're not going to Tulum,

And I'm not even on the app, so like should I be using it?

And I'm off, then.

And I'm sorry for assuming that you just wanted to stay

And I'm sorry, but we all know how Rose Video turned out!

And I've looked, but when you spent the past 6 years

And I've really been craving that casserole again.

And if he finds out he's just gonna like, buzz around

And if he follows you into a dark corner of the bar,

And if I'm being honest,

And if they're not selling it on the black market,

And if we have a publicist at our disposal.

And if you wanted to join me, and pay for it,

And if you're into it, we'll pull the trigger,

And it always paid off.

And it didn't happen.

And it doesn't hurt that I'm dating a vet.

And it is a big expense,

And it liked you too much, and cared.

And it will be fun, honey, it will be, in time.

And it's become so popular,

And it's just gonna be weird,

And it's just like a cartoon of a construction worker

And Jocelyn had to sell her Beanie Baby collection.

And just keep this between the two of us,

And just make sure he's up and ready to go at 3:55.

And just so you're aware,

And just twice.

And just when I thought I'd tried every lock.

And knock the first three things off this list.

And knock the first three things off this list.

And left Roland at the altar at the Elmdale Bingo Hall?

And live your lives!

And make a whole night of it.

And may I tell you something,

And maybe a little bit more fun,

And maybe complimenting my outfits.

And maybe you might wanna drop a little calamari on the table.

And mix and mingle.

And my dad's ex wife. But don't worry about her,

And my dad's ex wife. But don't worry about her,

And my fans.

And my phone's in there.

And needs a bit of a break.

And no offense to him, but I don't want it.

And normally I don't like blue cheese in my mouth,

And not a single customer's walked through that door.

And not have lunch then, or are we going in shifts?

And not to mention, a lot of money.

And now I'm gonna be dating this guy,

And now look at you, burdened with this secret.

And now she's working nights down at the gas station.

And now that I'm saying that out loud,

And now that lock has found another key,

And now we have a story we can only tell each other so...

And of course meals with my husband.

And oh, for those of you asking about the t shirts, yes,

And one of them turned around.

And partially responsible because I invited Rachel

And party planning.

And Patrick is renting a room from Ray.

And picture 3 to 5... hundred acres

And raise your brand awareness.

And remind me why you can't apply it to yourself?

And Ronnie says that we can get around the liquor license

And say that you were probably surrounding yourself

And second of all, Patrick is not being invited to a barbecue.

And see what I can do for ya, okay? You hold baby.

And she didn't get half what that Diana bear was worth.

And she is capable of so much more

And she likely told my mom.

And she's not getting the respect she deserves,

And show them your best self.

And so Vice put out this guide to the most random cities

And so, he says to the cop, "Well, if it was mine,

And some of your fellow amateur singer songwriters

And some padlocks.

And speaking of, we might have to circle back

And stand firmly in the present.

And still she's putting everything she has

And stop touching your face!

And talk about me after I've left.

And tell her to cancel the evening.

And tell him that you two are gonna have to take a bit

And tell him to add "do not disturb" signs to his list.

And tell me what you meant then.

And tell people you're on lunch.

And tell you, that I...

And thank you all for spending this hour with us.

And that car ride was better

And that frees us up for a little date night,

And that I would have to spend the afternoon searching for you

And that is not a word I use to describe quiche often,

And that is the reason that I wasn't gonna come tonight.

And that means you get free samples?

And that's exactly what I did, even from myself.

And that's gotta count for something.

And that's great, that will get them in the door

And that's where we come in.

And that's why you couldn't help Dad with the dead b

And the bottom line is, maybe.

And the bottom line is, maybe.

And the Bumpkin sends it to local singles.

And the goal is, um,

And the gullibility of the masses,

And the mark up on the plungers is actually very good.

And the phone booking system works just fine.

And the usual fried chicken on a waffle, extra skin.

And the woman's voice was aggressive and off putting.

And their Kylie Minogue medley!

And then bounced back in his face.

And then followed by the news that my sister

And then I met you.

And then I will be left here stuck with

And then people take turns guessing...

And then suddenly cleared of someone else's death.

And then the bathroom in room 5 still needs to be done.

And then the kids take over from there!

And then the next thing you know, you're talking again.

And then was put on trial for witchcraft,

And then we just have to figure out preschool.

And then we spend an hour mingling,

And then we'll get things going from there.

And then we're gonna go to the bar together.

And then you just... French your business partner

And then, like a whole row of baby emojis,

And there they are.

And there was a minute when I thought

And there will be more of those.

And there's a reason for that.

And there's an apprehension about branching out.

And there's nothing I can do about it.

And these, these are our complimentary lovebird wings.

And they have this like dumb rivalry.

And they were just out in a bowl.

And they'll stab you in the back,

And they're buying gum.

And things are starting to turn.

And think about what you've done.

And this has really messed things up for me.

And this is my reluctant attempt at being supportive.

And this old guy was like, asleep in his bed.

And this room is a San Franciscan bank.

And this situation is not correct!

And three of them are Ray.

And to mark the occasion,

And to reflect why she might be having trouble connecting.

And two cosmos for the baritone section.

And uh, spoke our truths.

And uh, you insist on keeping them hidden away

And um, a list of Buzzfeed's most motivational quotes

And um, even though everything inside us

And unfortunately, the only way to like, train it out of him,

And up until recently, I didn't understand why.

And us not having enough privacy to connect,

And was literally never seen from again.

And was really adamant that we go out tonight.

And we are getting sidetracked right now.

And we both have the same second favourite color.

And we both know that Patrick is not that kind of person.

And we didn't talk for a week, but it was worth it in the end.

And we don't have to tell Albany, if that's what's holding you back?

And we get a good price for the car,

And we know it wasn't exactly how you planned

And we mark up the retail price.

And we really just need you to make a decision, now.

And we thought it was so random.

And we'll probably take another table,

And we're gonna set you up in our room.

And we're moving the lip balms, best sellers,

And we're still going for post rehearsal mocktails, right ladies?

And we're unable to remove a body, and disinfect Room 4,

And we've already sold half the stock. Oh my god!

And we've been on and off ever since.

And we've both moved on. He has a girlfriend now,

And what else are they doing, David?

And what if we could finally tie a sailor's knot

And what kind of kid doesn't like rocks?

And what photo are they using?

And what work is that, exactly?

And what would really be helpful to everyone,

And what would this immersion process entail?

And what, pray tell, might this collection of words be?

And what's wrong with that?

And whatnot, but there is just something about you, you know...

And when I say everyone, I mean me,

And while you're lapping all that up,

And who knows where,

And who's to say what we can pull off?

And wildly unprofessional.

And yet, he's handsome.

And you are being so strong, Moira.

And you are so happy for it,

And you are telling me that I have nothing to worry about.

And you can do whatever you want with that. Okay?

And you can start by taking those sheets over to room two.

And you can't unsee something like this.

And you didn't think to tell me about this?

And you don't know what's in these natural products!

And you don't want that!

And you get some part time work,

And you just leaned in and kissed him?

And you just need to accept that,

And you know what? I'm not surprised!

And you look great, so, do you wanna have a seat?

And you might want to add a line item for prophylactics.

And you picked "The Lake House",

And you thought of this for me because?

And you, you did this all by yourself.

And you're sure this is the right one thing to pick?

And you're upset about this because you still...

And your voice carries so beautifully.

And, and I'm... I'm embarrassed.

And, and not try to push anything.

And, and she saw this guy, and wanted to adopt him.

And, are you serious about having a venue for me?

And, historically speaking,

And, how're we gonna do that?

And, I also had a question.

And, I know I really don't have any right to say that to you.

And, I'm confident that we're going to be able

And, there she is!

And... that's it.

Another secret for the pile.

Another successful girl talk.

Any deeper into that, but what I can say is this.

Any deeper into that, but what I can say is this.

Any of the nice things that you just said to me?

Any potential liability in his death.

Anyone could just walk in here and shoplift.

Anyone from out of town?

Anyway, by the time we got there, we sat down

Anyway, do you want a shot or not?

Anyway, don't worry about me. I'll be fine.

Anyway, I have a lot of big changes

Anyway, I just felt like I owed it to Heather,

Anyway, I just happened to eat one of those

Anyway, I just thought if we partnered together,

Anyway, I should go.

Anyway, I'm gonna call it on this Instasesh,

Anyway, I'm gonna call it on this Instasesh,

Anyway, leave a message and I'll call you back.

Anyway, moral of the story, I got a new keychain,

Anyway, now we know. Now we know.

Anyway, she's been reaching out

Anyway, so you've been burned, a couple times.

Anyway, this is a very important account for me.

Anyway, we just wanted to come by,

Apartment at some point.

Apparently I only have two minutes,

Apparently I've been taking too much time for myself,

Apparently there are some really big changes

Apparently they took Roland's phone away from him.

Apparently too busy to change the bulb

Apparently, if they call your number,

Are actually applying for your old job.

Are crashing down, all around us.

Are going to experience my triad of threats

Are just checking in to see how you're enjoying your stay.

Are making me just a little nervous.

Are now on display at the front of the store.

Are um, are you guys staying here?

Are we a 100% sure it's hers?

Are we really still talking about this?

Are you goin' back in?

Are you like, stalking me, or something?

Are you sure about that?

Are you sure that she can eat that?

Are you sure you remember it all?

Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Aren't you forgetting something?

Around one person.

Around the motel, but don't worry,

As a consultant for your Singles Week.

As are we, Ricki.

As it turns out we are.

As of today, feel free to refer to me as Alexis Rose,

As part of my advisory team.

As sad as it sounds,

As soon as you find the right key,

As the Irish like to say,

Aside from my parents twice, and at a...

Aside from rehearsals, few things keep me going.

Aside from the fact that your wife

At Elmdale College, and not Vogue, right?

At least you got your answer.

At my house to... to sleep with me or whatever.

At Ronnie's comedia Del commode.

At the back of the club.

At the group but, we would just love a little hand held tour

At the motel, I mean.

At the vet's office.

At this event? Absolutely!

Attention everyone, after much, much discussion,

Awesome.

Aye!

Basically, you melt different chocolate bars

Because "somebody" has a bad back.

Because after spending 5 minutes alone with sweet Pat,

Because all David really wanted for his Bar Mitzvah,

Because David,

Because frankly the thought of raising another kid...

Because he gets a lot of this stuff from farms,

Because honestly, I could eat this tablecloth.

Because I am going to do this.

Because I can barely come to terms with the fact

Because I care about you two.

Because I feel like all I do every night is just argue

Because I feel like all I do every night is just argue

Because I know you have a lot of experience in this area,

Because I skipped lunch and you know me when I'm hungry.

Because I think I'm going home with a guy.

Because I'm obviously not gonna help with that.

Because I'm realizing now that I don't think

Because I'm too tired.

Because I've been sworn to secrecy.

Because I've landed three in Jocelyn's bangs,

Because it requires a steady hand,

Because it seems as though I am throwing my own baby shower!

Because it was too nice.

Because it's part of the rollout.

Because my mind has been elsewhere.

Because now I have to go to work.

Because of my barbecue skills?

Because of that hung jury, and then before that,

Because of the dead body at the...

Because on the brochure it looks like

Because one more day at that motel

Because Roland doesn't know yet.

Because she certainly surprised me

Because she didn't come through with the party favors.

Because she needs to get fired first, so...

Because Stevie and I agreed that that would be a bad idea,

Because that would be disgusting,

Because that would be... amazing.

Because the last thing we wanna do

Because the website acts as a directory.

Because there, there's so many to flip through.

Because they feel at home there,

Because this could be like, a big step forward in my career,

Because this is a good one!

Because this is all you.

Because um, I consider you family.

Because we haven't had the time or the privacy

Because when the twins arrive,

Because when you said vet, I thought you meant like,

Because with those texts, those texts in the wrong hands,

Because you asked for more time, Moira!

Because you deserve it.

Because you didn't know how to.

Because you know that I've never said that to anyone else,

Because you need a little help with your business.

Because you still haven't told me what exactly happened.

Because you were getting gifts?

Because you're having boyfriend issues,

Because... it makes it seem like,

Before I even pressed send.

Before I replied.

Before I showed up?

Before I snap!

Before I worked so hard on it.

Before mentioning any of the things

Before or after your arm started itching?

Before you came here,

Before you go in,

Being dragged out of here.

Besides wanting to keep me as your husband?

Besides, I think he'll probably be... back soon.

Best to just hang up.

Better than expected, huh?

Between all of our singles.

Between the two of you?

Big waves! Big waves!

Birthing rehearsals we gotta go to.

Bit of a misunderstanding, here.

Blocks of ice. Mhmm.

Bored, so I found a lovely little speakeasy

Bottom line, I got cold feet too,

Bottom line, I just don't think we need to celebrate as much.

Boy, it's strange, I can almost still smell her perfume.

Boy, these have a bit more weight to them

Boy, we never did this back in the Rose Video days, did we?

Break a leg!

Breaking news, we still (bleep) hate her.

Breath mints where the lip balms should be. Not correct!

Brenda, can I call you back?

Brought the nipples. Oh good.

Brr! It's awfully cold out there.

Builds, and you can write this down...

But Alexis said it would be best if I just canceled them.

But Alexis... Alexis has never handled

But also like, chill and flirty

But Arlene down at the store said

But as a single woman who drove 20 miles to be here,

But at some point, we just have to believe in our kids.

But at what cost? You know?

But bear in mind, I have to get off on the next floor.

But but there is a delicate issue

But but there is a delicate issue

But darling, do keep those wheels turning!

But guess who drove me home that night?

But Gwen had a hunting rifle in her basement,

But he's not, John, he's sinking.

But here's the good news,

But hey, it's good to have you back.

But I called it off before I moved here.

But I couldn't see,

But I do applaud the vigor

But I do know that games only get you so far.

But I do wanna focus on you.

But I don't know what that has to do with me.

But I don't think I've gotten a good photo yet.

But I don't think poison oak is that expensive.

But I just don't think that "The Pelican Brief"

But I just downloaded it to show a friend.

But I just want you to know your mother and I are here,

But I just wanted to see what would happen.

But I knew there was something between us. I just knew it.

But I love you.

But I refused the man, and the next thing I know,

But I still think this is gonna be the best

But I think I can find a way to make it work.

But I think I speak for everyone here when I say,

But I think it's best I carry the baton over the goal line.

But I think you might have an easier time of it,

But I thought you might need it more,

But I wanna be up front with you.

But I'll let you know what bar we hit up tonight.

But I'm already sneaking into double overtime here, so,

But I'm assuming that Jocelyn's wanting to spend some money

But I'm gonna have a little brother soon,

But I'm not gonna let it.

But I'm sure like a lot a lot... A lot of tours, David.

But I'm sure there are some flowers that are still alive.

But I've been just chalking that up to the fact

But I've been the one carrying them,

But I've never been known to turn down

But if it's meant to be, they'll come around!

But if the point of Singles Week is to get matched up,

But if you could just let it sit so it cools,

But if you ever unleash your feminine wiles

But if you wanna grow the business,

But if you've ever had her quiche,

But it actually worked out perfectly,

But it appears that I'm the only one that held up

But it does separate me from the crowd.

But it was actually about something else.

But it was good to see you, Mr. Bagel.

But it was pretty great to have a Jazza guy in our midst today.

But it worked.

But it would be much more educational for both of you

But it's also important to cherish what's going on inside.

But it's also the only thing that's making it feel better.

But it's like really good stuff, and this is extra.

But it's not, it's not a... It's not a hickey, right?

But it's Singles Week though, is the thing.

But John, I have so few pleasures,

But John, why don't you and I go

But keeping the gender of the baby a secret