The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005) Edit

A computer of such infinite complexity,

A computer that will calculate the ultimate question.

A freak wormhole opened up in the fabric of the space time continuum

A race of hyper intelligent, pan dimensional beings

A sperm whale had been called into existence

Across almost infinite reaches of space, to a distant galaxy,

Activating Emergency Escape Pod. It's super neat and fun to fly!

Actually, this explains a lot, you know.

Actually, what I was gonna say was...

Ah ha! You too!

Ah ha. They've nearly finished the oceans.

Ah, no, well, yeah, no. I gather that's what they wanted you to think,

Ah, there you are!

Ah, this is the one.

All my life, I've had this strange feeling

All right, computer, take us to... Where we headed again?

All right, Frank? That's... that's Frank.

All right, I like it. It's big, it's gold, it's fancy. Fancy pants.

All right, let's trip the light fantastic, baby. Just you and me.

All right, this isn't an idea that has any merit at all,

All right!

All right! All right!

All right.

All right. All right.

All the doors in this spaceship have been programmed

Almost simultaneously.

Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far,

An Earthman, to be precise.

An entire planet, my home,

And an improbability factor of 8,767,128 to 1 against.

And at that very moment,

And carried his words far, far back in time,

And eat those peanuts, because you'll need the salt.

And excreting a matrix of conscious frequencies

And far.

And for one week,

And go down into the computer to navigate its 10 million year program.

And I should just go on with it.

And I thought the beagle made it a dead giveaway.

And if we don't get a ride soon,

And met a very nice young woman whom he totally blew it with.

And more controversial than Oolon Colluphid's trilogy

And now you're crushed, because you find out there really isn't.

And once again our top story.

And pick up our stowaways and bring them up here.

And probably the oddest thing in the universe.

And recycled as firelighters.

And return it as soon as possible.

And second, it has the words "Don't Panic"

And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale,

And so on.

And someone is trying to drive a bypass through his house.

And tell him that I'm currently lying flat on my back in front of...

And the missiles?

And the President of the Mid Galactic Arts Nobbling Council

And there I was thinking I was the only one

And they ain't doing the trick. Come on. All right!

And they ask me to take you up to the bridge.

And we need an idea to help save her.

And we used to have endless fun doing the little fiddly bits around the fjords.

And we'll see how it goes.

And what will you give me to ensure your return?

And what's this thing coming towards me very fast? So big and flat and round.

And you're right, I shouldn't be so upset,

And you're worried you might have blown it with the one guy who really does.

And your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition.

And, hey, what's this roaring sound whooshing past what I'm suddenly gonna call my head?

And, I can ssure you, no answer to any one of them

And, incidentally, you are stupid.

And, no, she's not eligible for release at this time.

And?

Another in a long line of men who doesn't really get you.

Anyway, come on. I've been ordered to take you up to the bridge.

Anyway, when I saw what I'm about to show you,

Anyway, you must come with me, because there's been a terrible mix up with your planet.

Apathetic bloody planet.

Apparently, they've turned into a bowl of petunias.

Are a bit of a luxury commodity...

Are two to the power of two billion,

Around the legendary planet of Magrathea.

Arthur, don't panic!

Arthur, I say we go.

Arthur, I want a drink.

Arthur!

Arthur!

Arthur! Arthur!

As a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double backward somersault

As a token of our appreciation,

As amusing attempts to punch footballs or whistle for tidbits.

As it fell was, "Oh, no, not again!"

As the Improbability Drive reaches infinite improbability,

As the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom

As you are probably aware,

As you know, we've spent a lot of time on your planet looking for this ultimate question.

Ask the Guide. Say "Vogons".

At your local planning office in Alpha Centauri for 50 of your Earth years.

Attention!

Aw, Come on!

Barman, six pints of bitter and quickly. The world's about to end.

Beautiful, witty, mad as a balloon.

Because if you do, I'll pull your spleen out through your throat.

Because life goes on, you know,

Because you always wondered to know if there was more to life,

Before the Vogons find us.

Begins very simply.

Belgium.

Besides, you should've made your protest months ago.

Best laid plans of mice and men.

Better selling than '53 More Things to Do in Zero Gravity',

Bless you.

Blown up!

Bring her to Vogsphere for processing, captain.

But commissioned by a consortium of intergalactic angry housewives,

But even an Infinite Improbability Drive requires coordinates.

But here's the point. We must have product.

But I found the imagery quite effective.

But it was the question. The ultimate question. Of everything!

But listen, don't mention it to the girl, okay?

But most of their communications were misinterpreted

But mostly because they didn't get invited to those sort of parties.

But mostly I think it's for the fame and the money.

But rather a writer for this... this book thing.

But regrets that the entire planet is temporarily closed.

But the full scale of the problem is not always appreciated.

But the only way to find it is to go to Magrathea.

But then they made up for it by making us...

But they were there on Earth as mice experimenting on you.

But this is not Magrathea.

But this isn't a presidential release of prisoner form.

But with space being really big and all,

But you were actually elements in their computer program.

But, Marvin, can you give me a hand?

Buttons aren't toys.

By a strange coincidence, none at all

By making all the molecules in the hostess' undergarments

By the left, march. Left, right, left, right, left, right.

By the way, I checked the Guide for the best way to rescue a prisoner from Vogsphere.

Call that job satisfaction? 'Cause I don't.

Called the Great Green Arkleseizure.

Can we put your ego aside for a minute? Something important has happened.

Can you stop the rocking? Okay, Marvin, any ideas?

Careful. It's hot. We've gotta get off this ship.

Circus? Circus?

Come back!

Come back! Come back! Don't leave me alone.

Come off it, Mr. Dent. You can't lie in front of the bulldozers for ever.

Come on, let's get this ship started. Come on, start!

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Oh, fire, fire!

Come, eat, drink with me. We gotta talk.

Commander, the President is the kidnapper! You're going to kill him!

Computer, do something!

Computer, we don't want to go to Magrathea yet. We want to follow the ships.

Consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.

Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far.

Couldn't you have done something?

Curiously, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias

Decided to settle their few remaining differences,

Definitely. Where did you have in mind?

Designed by the greatest computer ever invented.

Destroyed all because you thought somebody wanted your autograph!

Did it work? Are we there?

Did they have proper hyperspace authorization?

Did you just pluck one of my hairs? Off my head?

Do you have any idea?

Do you really think the world's going to end?

Do you see this?

Does it involve pushing him out there and running the other way?

Does precisely what its name suggests.

Doing the coastlines was always my favorite.

Don't flatter yourself. I've got a spaceman too.

Don't panic. Don't panic.

Don't suppose there's any tea in this spaceship, is it?

Don't worry. You won't feel a thing.

Don't. I'll send Marvin.

Don't. I'll send Marvin.

Drifted across the conference table.

During a recitation by their Poet Master, Grunthos the Flatulent,

Earthman, you must realize

Eloquent as always, Zaphod.

Engaging Improbability Drive.

Enjoy your doughnut.

Ever heard of a place, I think it's called Norway?

Ever to come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor.

Everyone keeps calling me Santa.

Exactly where we were.

Except for one.

Excuse me, excuse me, Mr. Humma, sir.

Excuse me, mate, we're in the middle of a chat here. Do you mind?

Excuse me.

Fantastic. At last.

Fantastic. Fantastic.

Far out! Far out!

Fine, I'll hold.

Fine, take it, 'cause my head is filled with questions,

Fine.

Fine. I'll get your gun. Just give me the coordinates.

Fire a gun! Launch a missile! Do some damage!

Fire upon the kidnapper.

Fire!

First, it's slightly cheaper,

For instance, at the very moment that Arthur Dent said...

For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed

For our planet continues unabated.

For thousands of years, the mighty starships tore across

For two important reasons.

For what it's worth, I know how you must be feeling.

Ford! Kill it! Get rid of it!

Ford.

Four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging,

Freeze? I'm a robot. Not a refrigerator.

From the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders

Galactic sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha?

Get off of me!

Get out the way!

Ghastly, isn't it?

Give me that thing!

Give me that thing.

Give us a kiss! Give us a kiss, darling!

Go with the hunch of a man whose brain is fuelled by lemons?!

Go!

God, you're serious.

Good day.

Good stuff. Like those jammies.

Good, I'll be outside, so...

Got so fed up with the constant bickering about the meaning of life,

Gotta know where your towel is.

Great.

Great. I'm gonna go and find something else for my entire life to be about.

Greetings. This is a recorded announcement as we are all out at the moment.

Guys, I'm delighted to tell you

Guys, it just blows my circuits to tell you

Had long known of the impending destruction of the planet Earth.

Has ever brought me one iota of happiness.

Have all now been demolished, Ford and Arthur were, in fact, rescued.

Have you calculated the ultimate question of life,

He grew, didn't he. He's not that tall.

He is a 5'8'' tall ape descendant

He says the whole kidnapping business was just a horrible misunderstanding.

He was right.

He's a guest on my ship!

He's got a towel. Run away!

Hello, Humma.

Here I am, brain the size of a planet,

Here we go.

Here we go. Look lively.

Here, it's...

Here.

Here's one, how many roads must a man walk down?

Hey, all right. How you doin'? All right.

Hey, Ape man, Earth dude... I'm sorry, what's your name again?

Hey, baby, a little help over here. I think I'm in over my head.

Hey, come on, I love it.

Hey, come on!

Hey, enough small talk. Tria, we're on the run, remember? I stole a ship.

Hey, excuse me.

Hey, fantastic! Psychedelic!

Hey, good to see you. Thanks. All right.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What d'you...? I was just watching myself.

Hey, hey, hey! Take it easy now. Think about this before you do.

Hey, hey, Slim, this is really pretty.

Hey, hey, Zaphod, what's with the two head thing?

Hey, how're you doin'?

Hey, I love you. Fantastic!

Hey, it's me, your President!

Hey, it's okay. It's only a couple of little mice!

Hey, man. You know, you must really be frustrated.

Hey, that's not bad!

Hey, what have we here? I love it!

Hey, what's going on?

Hey, whoops.

Hey!

Hey! Whoa!

Hi, I've come about release of a prisoner.

Hi, Tricia McMillan, right?

Hi.

His name is Arthur Dent.

Hitchhikers? Why'd you pick up hitchhikers?

Hitchhiking's good. Towels are good too.

Hmm?

Hold it one second.

Hold your position, captain, until clearance is granted.

Honey, I'm President of the Galaxy. I don't get a lot of time for reading.

How am I supposed to drive this pod with one arm? Stupid human.

How very, very improbable.

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? Ford!

Huh? That's not true.

Humma Kavula is, of course, best remembered for his slanderous

Humma Kavula!

Humma Kavula!

Hyperspace permission granted, captain.

I am a little peckish.

I am speaking to the kidnapper of the President?

I assumed you were drunk.

I can fold my eyelids inside out if you like.

I can see why Humma Kavula would want one of these.

I can't do this without my third arm.

I can't go to Madagascar.

I can't go. I mean, I've got a job.

I could calculate your chances of survival, but you won't like it.

I designed another computer to do that.

I didn't. The ship did.

I don't believe you.

I don't even know your real name.

I don't feel well. I need a cup of tea.

I don't have time for this, you know?

I don't know, Arthoolia.

I don't know. I just stuck out my thumb and here I am.

I don't see what all the fuss is about.

I find the question, that's permanent. It sticks.

I guess most of the people who come to these sort of parties are drunken idiots.

I have a million ideas. They all point to certain death.

I have a proposition for you.

I have an ide...

I have an idea.

I have the President and I will kill him, I swear I will.

I just thought that might count for something.

I kept a few souvenirs from my former life.

I know this great restaurant at the end of the universe.

I know. Wretched, isn't it?

I left you at the party. I feel bad about it, but I was gonna call you when I got back.

I love kabuki. Look at that little thing.

I mean, I don't know this... cheese of which you speak,

I mean, I don't know, we've hit it twice and we're still not there, but anyway...

I mean, if I'd had two heads, or, I don't know, three...

I mean, what if it rips us all into tiny little atomic particle thingies?!

I must warn you,

I need to go to Humma's. He's got something of mine.

I picked up their signal this morning. Here, you'll need this.

I said it wasn't important.

I said, all these people are idiots! God!

I saved your life. Okay, that makes us even.

I say that's an extraordinary proposition.

I shall design this computer for you, and it shall be called...

I should've told you, and I understand totally if you're angry with me.

I suppose I should've said it resembles tea.

I thi...

I think I heard him call you Trillian. Which of us got the right one?

I think I'll have soup today.

I think I've been here before. Have I been here before?

I think that door just sighed.

I think the Earthman's about to be sick.

I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.

I think...

I thought cars were the dominant life form. I was trying to introducing myself.

I thought you said you stole it.

I told you this would end in tears.

I want it caught and shot right now.

I want to go somewhere I've never been and I'd like to go with you, so...

I was from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse?

I was out doing field research.

I'd be happy to.

I'd have to think about that.

I'd make a suggestion, but you wouldn't listen.

I'd much rather be happy than right any day.

I'd much rather have stayed at home and, I don't know, ironed my hankies.

I'll take care of this. Good Zarquon, do I have to do everything?

I'm a kidder. Come on. Let's be friends. Let's connect. You and I.

I'm a personality prototype. You can tell, can't you?

I'm checking for you.

I'm Eddie, your ship board computer.

I'm from a different planet.

I'm going to set up. Buttons aren't toys.

I'm gonna be sick.

I'm in. I'm in.

I'm just pleased as punch to report that it's a fleet of a hundred Vogon battle destroyers.

I'm sorry about that, but it wasn't my fault.

I've been stranded on a strange planet for a number of years.

I've been talking to the ship's computer.

I've brought the aliens. Don't thank me or anything.

I've got to say, without the beard, you look at least 80 years younger.

I've just been informed by some of the lads...

I've no sympathy at all.

Idiot! Come on, come on, come on!

If I asked where we were, would I regret it?

If I just let it roll straight over you?

If I'd said yes to you and gone to Madagascar,

If memory serves, you won,

If there's anything more important than my ego on this ship,

If we pick the wrong one,

If you can't be bothered to take any interest in your local affairs, that's your own lookout.

If you don't mind, I'm gonna go ahead and take evasive action.

If you would like to leave your name and a planet where you can be contacted,

If you'd fill that form in for me,

Impact minus 45 seconds.

In accordance with the theory of indeterminacy.

In order to launch a joint attack on our galaxy,

In other words, you're never sure where you'll end up,

In reverence to you.

In the beginning, the universe was created.

In the history of the universe,

In the name of people, freedom, and democracy, stuff like that,

In the universe contest.

Incredible.

Instead of the third most intelligent.

Involve the building of a hyperspace express route through your star system.

Is a wholly remarkable book.

Is also the telephone number of the Islington flat,

Is exactly how much suspicion the ape descendant Arthur Dent had

Is most famous for his controversial defeat of Humma Kavula,

Is she the one?

Is that tea?

Is that you? Ford! Praxibetel Ix!

Is this guy boring you?

Is this...?

Is...

It begins with a man.

It feeds on brainwave energy, absorbing unconscious frequencies,

It hates me.

It is another world, stupid.

It is most gratifying that your enthusiasm

It is, of course, well known that careless talk costs lives.

It made me happy.

It needs a big wide sounding name like ow, ound, round, ground!

It passes through every conceivable point in every conceivable universe

It said don't. I'm assuming you have a better plan.

It scares the willies out of me.

It was designed by Deep Thought,

It wasn't me!

It won't affect me. I'm already a woman.

It won't work. I have an exceptionally large mind.

It would've been simpler, of course, to have known what the actual question was.

It's a sort of threat, do you see? No.

It's a tough galaxy. If you want to survive out here, you've...

It's all there.

It's already supplanted the 'Encyclopedia Galactica'

It's an important and popular fact

It's been nice knowing you, you zarking frood.

It's even worse than I thought it would be.

It's good, huh?

It's just like Humma said.

It's locked!

It's not fair! You need me!

It's on another world.

It's so... Everything's right. Everything's delicious.

It's therefore important to dress accordingly.

It's true. You want to see my spaceship?

Ixxie!

Just kiddin'. I love it rough. Hit me! Hit me, baby!

Just that? I won't enjoy it.

Just watch.

Just... just watch.

Keep the change. You got about ten minutes to spend it.

Kindly do so at the tone.

Last order today!

Late as in "the late Dentarthurdent".

Leap simultaneously one foot to the left

Leap to hyperspace! Come on!

Leave this to me. I'm British. I know how to queue.

Let me show you.

Let us pray the Almighty will exhale a breath of compassion on us all.

Let's go somewhere.

Let's go!

Let's just go and him.

Life? Don't talk to me about life.

Listen, I got something important I gotta tell you. I gotta tell you right now.

Look familiar?

Look...

Lost again and finally buried in soft peat for three months

Lunchtime, doubly so.

Magrathea!

Magrathea!

Magrathea! Magrathea!

Magrathea's gonna have to wait. I got a score to settle on this planet.

Magrathean coordinates accepted.

Many have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that,

Many races believed that it was created by some sort of god.

Many respectable physicists said they weren't going stand for that sort of thing,

Marvin, you saved our lives.

Marvin!

Maybe I'm de evolving.

Me, alone on a dead planet, with a manically depressed robot.

Minus several million for good thinking.

Mmm, that does happen.

More popular than 'The Celestial Homecare Omnibus',

More tea?

Mr. Dent, have you any idea how much damage this bulldozer would suffer,

Mr. President, we're here for your protection.

Mr. President, we're here for your protection.

Mr. President!

My name is... Slartibartfast.

My word as President.

No theories. No nothing.

No, as is. Yep, leave it. Yep.

No, I don't think I do.

No, I mean your chin.

No, I tried that. Why? 42. Doesn't work.

No, I'm serious.

No, it's a country off the coast of Africa.

No, it's not here. It's another world.

No, no, no, don't leave. Come on, come on, just start!

No, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no. Zaphod, no. Buttons are not toys. What did you do?

No, no, what's this?

No, no. What's your name, Earthman?

No, stop it! Oh, that kind of tickles.

No, that's worse, that's worse.

No, Tricia Marie McMillan of Earth.

No, uh uh. Eddie, computer...

No, you know what I'm talking about.

No! Don't do it! We're here. No telling where it'll send us. Don't do it.

No! No!

No! wait, wait! There's been some kind of mistake.

No.

No. I need a hostage.

Nobody think. No ideas.

Not at all. See you.

Not evil, but bad tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous.

Nothing, it's... nothing. It's just my imagination.

Now I'm feeling much better about our predicament.

Now I've got a headache...

Now you can go get your head back.

Now, to business.

O' Deep Thought, we were told that there is a gun.

O' great Deep Thought!

Of course not. That's... that's ridiculous.

Of course you're edgy. Your planet's been blown up

Of crossing interstellar distances in a few seconds,

Of frightful interstellar battle.

Of his poem 'Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty

Of life, the universe and everything...

Of philosophical blockbusters, 'Where God Went Wrong',

Of the time they called the 'Coming of the Great White Handkerchief',

Oh, a backbone? What about coming here to rescue you? Thank you. My idea.

Oh, baby doll!

Oh, bollocks!

Oh, come on, that's lovely.

Oh, come on!

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Oh, God, my home! My home was demolished.

Oh, he's hungry today.

Oh, he's locked the gate from the other side.

Oh, hey, thanks, man. I appreciate it.

Oh, I feel so depressed.

Oh, I shortened it. Something a little more spacey.

Oh, I think you know why I'm here.

Oh, I think you think you don't. But we both know you do.

Oh, I'd love to, fella, but, wouldn't you know it, my guidance system has been deactivated.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no, no, really. Really you don't have to read.

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, right, I forgot. Is it here?

Oh, right.

Oh, shh, shush! The show's back on.

Oh, sure thing, fella!

Oh, the costume? Right. "Livingstone, I presume!"

Oh, they, they? When you say "they", you mean they? Got it.

Oh, well, partly the curiosity, partly a sense of adventure,

Oh, wha...?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Apparently, you can't be president with a whole brain.

Oh, yes! Fascinating trade.

Oh!

Oh! "Destroyed".

Oh! Hello?

Oh.

Okay, Arthur, I've got something to tell you. It's unfortunate, but it's true.

Okay, computer, keep going. Take us down.

Okay, don't think.

Okay, give me a hand over here.

Okay, I'm gonna get you another lemon.

Okay, look. Do you see this?

Okay, my name is...

Okay, right now, stop! Everyone just stop a minute, please, and look at me.

Okay, so I'm not thinking. Not thinking. No ideas coming.

Okay, where is she?!

Okay. Did you know I was here?

Okay. Hold tight.

Okay. Okay, this is... it's for Tricia McMillan.

Okay. Right. Look... This... this is the President.

Okay. You can't have my brain. I'm using it.

On display? I had to go down to a cellar!

On no account should you allow a Vogon to read poetry to you.

On no account should you allow a Vogon to read poetry to you.

One week in my sad little blip of an existence...

Only to have it blow up in our faces, literally.

Only when you know the question will you know what the answer means.

Only... what does Zaphod Beeblebrox treasure?

Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. What is it? It is a sort of tingling in my...

Or a way to, you know, access it or something?

Or at least it was until the Vogons destroyed it

Or even what species you'll be when you get there.

Or is it the wind? There's a lot of that now, isn't it?

Or... how many Vogons does it take to change a light bulb?

Out the way. Out the way.

Over brilliance and the ability to govern.

Ow! Stop that! Ow!

Partly because it was a debased of science,

People of Earth,

Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I think that the chances of finding out

Perhaps the most remarkable, certainly the most successful book,

Plans for the development of the outlying regions of the galaxy

Please yourselves.

Please, join us. Sit down.

Plus, everyone thinks you're deep. Win win.

Popped right out of the box. You foxy, yeah!

President of the Galaxy. This is my cousin. He's a semi half brother...

Presidents don't have power. Their job is to draw attention away from it.

Printed in large, friendly letters on its cover.

Prisoner release form.

Proving that good looks and charm win

Queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry,

Quit. Get a new one when you come back.

Release her.

Remember when we met?

Requesting hyperspace clearance.

Resistance is useless!

Resistance is useless!

Return to this place in exactly 7.5 million years.

Right here.

Right, of course, Cornwall.

Right, then, all those of you lucky enough to have two arms, hold tight.

Right, there we go.

Right.

Right. I don't suppose this portal has central heating, does it?

Right. Yes, well... Actually I was thinking of changing mine to,

Rubbish, we don't want to be happy. We want to be famous.

Run!

Say that this sort of thing is going on all the time.

Says it was destroyed to make way for a hyperspace expressway.

Section 1 8 of the Galactic Interstellar Space Bylaws...

See, I hate those kind of parties.

Send the handkerchief, O' Blessed One, so that it may wipe us clean.

Several miles above the surface of an alien planet.

Shaky.

She didn't mean anything by it. He's ordering you to let her go.

She digs me. Check it out.

She was amazing though, Ford.

She's free to go.

She's gone! Ford, she's gone!

She's skinny, and she's pretty, and she's lying.

Shoot him again.

Shoot him, quickly, shoot him!

Signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back,

Signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back,

Sir, it's a release form.

Sir?

Six pints coming up.

So ten out of ten for style, but...

So that's Humma Kavula. I thought he was just swearing.

So this is it. We're gonna die.

So you're not from Guildford.

So, are you along for the ride, or am I just dropping you somewhere?

So, the two opposing battle fleets

So, they eventually decided they would leave Earth by their own means.

So, they found where we are. Belgium bummer!

So, this is how it's all going to end, is it, ey?

So, two heads is what does it for a girl?

So, what you're saying is,

So, you made the Earth?

So, you need to go back and fill that in.

Some of the words I didn't understand,

Something you think your planet could do without.

Somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse.

Sorry about your spaceship, Arthur.

Sorry, did you just say you need my brain?

Sorry, no record of Earth.

Sorry, pal, I didn't know. You know, I had a galaxy to run.

Speaking of...

Stand by for commencement of life cycle. In three, two, one...

States that it is far too complicated to define.

Stole what? What are we talking about?

Stolen at the launch ceremony by none other

Stop!

Stupid!

Sure thing, fella. Handing over manual control. Good luck!

Surrender the stolen vessel at once,

Survived by gnawing one of his own legs off.

Take his brain!

Take it away.

Than a tea leaf knows the history of the East India Company.

Than Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox.

Thank you so much for waiting. I'm sorry to disappoint you gang,

Thank you, darling. I'll be in touch.

Thank you.

Thanks a lot for leaving me behind.

That always makes them a little eee!

That depends. Where are you going?

That he was the most intelligent species occupying the planet,

That I do not date single celled organisms, okay?

That is, if you point it at someone and pull the trigger,

That life itself will form part of its operational matrix.

That Madagascar?! Why are we waiting here?

That one of his closest friends

That the entire universe was, in fact, sneezed out of the nose of a being

That the only thing to do is say hang the sense of it and keep yourself busy.

That the planet you lived on was commissioned, paid for and run by mice.

That there are two thermo nuclear missiles heading right for us.

That there's something big and sinister going on in the world.

That they commissioned two of their brightest and best

That things are not always what they seem.

That was one of mine. I got an award for it.

That was... some sort of test. And I failed.

That we're currently in an orbit at an altitude of 300 miles,

That's a good answer.

That's a good one! Well, this is weird.

That's awkward.

That's blue. Right.

That's funny. During the campaign, Humma,

That's it, ground! I wonder if it'll be friends with me. Hello, ground.

That's not a question.

That's when I realized why I had to do what I did to my brain.

The absolute worst poetry was written by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex.

The answer bloody well isn't 42, it's yes.

The answer to life, the universe, everything.

The answer to the ultimate question...

The Babel fish is small, yellow, leech like,

The best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster,

The Commercial Council of Magrathea thanks you for your esteemed visit,

The effect of which is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon

The election is ancient history, Zaphod, but...

The empty wastes of space and finally dived screaming onto the planet Earth,

The Encyclopedia Galactica, in its chapter on love,

The entire battle fleet was accidentally swallowed by a small dog.

The extraordinary story of 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'

The fish is translating for you.

The handkerchief is coming beloveds.

The heady days of space piracy.

The Infinite Improbability Drive is a wonderful new method

The Infinite Improbability Drive was invented following research into finite improbability,

The Jatravartids, who lived in perpetual fear

The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted

The one. The only question I've ever wanted an answer to.

The Point of View Gun, conveniently,

The practical upshot of which is that, if you stick one in your ear,

The President tests my patience.

The second most intelligent creatures were, of course, dolphins, who, curiously enough,

The sensational theft of the most coveted ship in the universe,

The starship Heart of Gold.

The two opposing leaders, resplendent in their black jeweled battle shorts

The universe and everything?

The words "I wouldn't want to go anywhere without my wonderful towel"

The... talking... talking mice. Cool.

Then neither of us would be here now.

There must be another way. Is there another way to follow the ships?

There you go.

There's no point acting all surprised about it.

There's, you know, anything you want to change.

There's... definitely something going on here.

These are the orders.

These plans have been on display at the planning office now for a year.

They can't think, they can't imagine. Most of them can't even spell. They just run things.

They go back.

They got her and it's my fault. We have to go. Let's go!

They instantly see things from your point of view.