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Home > Ted 2 (2015)(sub)
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Ted 2 (2015)(sub)

Ted 2 (2015)(sub)

Ted 2 is a hilarious and heartwarming comedy film released in 2015, directed by Seth MacFarlane. The movie is a sequel to the immensely popular film Ted, which introduced us to the foul-mouthed and lovable teddy bear, Ted. Once again, MacFarlane brings his unique brand of humor to the screen, and this time, with even more outrageous antics.

The film features an incredible cast, with Mark Wahlberg reprising his role as John Bennett, the best friend and owner of Ted. Amanda Seyfried joins the cast as Samantha Jackson, a young lawyer who assists Ted in his legal battles. And of course, there's Ted, voiced by Seth MacFarlane himself, who steals the show with his quick wit and sarcastic remarks.

In Ted 2, the story picks up a few years after the events of the first film. Ted, who was magically brought to life by a childhood wish, is now married to his girlfriend, Tami-Lynn (played by Jessica Barth). However, their marriage hits a snag when the government refuses to recognize Ted as a person and declares him property. This poses a major problem for the couple, as they want to have a baby, but legally, only humans can have children.

Determined to prove his personhood, Ted enlists the help of John and Samantha to fight his case in court. They embark on a hilarious and audacious adventure that takes them all the way to New York City, where they encounter numerous obstacles, including an overzealous government agent played by Giovanni Ribisi.

Along the way, the film explores themes of acceptance, friendship, and identity. Ted, despite being a talking teddy bear, faces the same struggles as any individual who struggles to be recognized for who they are. This underlying message gives the film a heartwarming touch amidst all the laughs.

With Seth MacFarlane's trademark humor, Ted 2 is filled with rapid-fire jokes, pop culture references, and outrageous situations. From the opening moments, it's clear that this film does not hold back, embracing its R-rating with crude and irreverent humor. The script is filled with sharp and witty dialogue, making it a laugh-out-loud experience for viewers.

Additionally, the film cleverly nods to various iconic movies, such as Jurassic Park and The Running Man, with references that will delight cinephiles. These references, along with the film's pop culture references, ensure that there's something for everyone to enjoy.

The chemistry between Mark Wahlberg and Seth MacFarlane shines in this movie, as they effortlessly bounce off each other, creating a believable and hilarious dynamic between their characters. Amanda Seyfried also delivers a fantastic performance as Samantha Jackson, injecting a fresh energy into the film.

Featuring an incredible soundtrack that captures the essence of the film, Ted 2 boasts songs from various genres and eras. From 80s classics like "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey to modern hits like "Dance the Night Away" by Van Halen, the film's soundtrack adds another layer of enjoyment to the viewing experience. And the best part is, you can play and download these sounds here, immersing yourself in the music that made Ted 2 even more memorable.

In conclusion, Ted 2 is an uproarious and heartwarming comedy that takes the audience on a wild ride. With a stellar cast, witty dialogue, and a hilarious storyline, this film is a must-watch for fans of Seth MacFarlane's unique humor. Whether you're a fan of the first Ted film or just looking for a laugh-out-loud experience, Ted 2 will leave you in stitches and keep you entertained from start to finish.

A baby?
A baby? Like really?
A broken marriage and make it work again?
A ha! What it is, man! Dynomite.
A ha. They "got him."
A hundred and fifty years ago
A little bit. I learned when I was a kid.
A lube or something? A magazine?
A non entity with no rights under the law.
A slave by the name of Dred Scott
A synthetic cotton poly blend.
A talking teddy bear is about to marry his girlfriend,
A whole hallway with our conversation.
About every chick that throws herself at you.
Across the world, fucking Thomas Jefferson.
After all, you know, Ted spent many years
Ah, Ms. Jackson. Do come in.
Ah, rock on, Ted.
Ah, you hear that, Johnny?
Ah!
Ah! Ah! Shit, shit, shit!
Ah! Oh, shit!
Ah.
Ah.
Ah. Oh, we just Google "Boston lawyers."
All right, come in.
All right, fine, I will. Just stop looking at that shit, please!
All right, great.
All right, I'll help you. But we got to have a game plan.
All right, let's do this.
All right, let's go.
All right, Starbucks. Okay, now, who's in the Starbucks?
All right, there, you happy?
All right, two can play this Where's Waldo shit, you son of a bitch!
All right, we've heard from these guys.
All right, yeah, thanks.
All right.
All right. I think I can handle the defense.
All right. I'll shoot him an e mail right now,
All right. Now, let's get rid of this.
All right'? I was just hurting because I knew I'd lost.
An ability to understand complex emotions
And (GASPS) he had a dick! He had an awesome dick!
And a capacity for empathy.
And a shamrock tattoo on his calf? Nope.
And America doesn't give a shit about anything.
And as history has shown us, that wasn’t justice.
And as soon as I'm done fucking myself,
And Brown v. the Board of Education.
And give Sam and Diane here some alone time, eh?
And honest to God,
And I believe that a just court must, by definition,
And I bet you can't even spot him.
And I don't think I ought to be treated any different.
And I have.
And I know who my friends are.
And I own four houses on Baltic Ave.
And I say that's a violation of the Constitution.
And I swear to God, if we lose,
And I tried, you know?
And I would get a more experienced lawyer in return.
And I... I can't believe it's official.
And I'll be back with $200.
And I'm afraid this isn't gonna work out.
And I've hired her on as a junior associate here at the firm.
And if I may inquire,
And if I may inquire,
And if that is not big enough news,
And if that is not big enough news,
And is that enforced by law?
And it seems to me that once the law devalues one kind of life,
And it was one of the best highs I ever had.
And it's all up to him now.
And it's happening again today.
And live from New York, it's Saturday Night! (APPLAUSE)
And lock up minorities for no good legal reason.
And make me come down there, tough guy?
And making them watch Tyler Perry.
And my fucking nose came off.
And my sperm count's a little low.
And not because some of you might laugh
And plus, your baby will be a fucking superhero!
And remember, you're the one
And saving it up for you know who
And say your goodbyes.
And see if I can stop by tonight.
And she's probably still fucking billing us!
And sneak out with the sperm. It'll be easy!
And somebody handed her a bunch of balloons
And soon afterward, they adopted a fine, young baby boy.
And that, in the eyes of the world, I'll always be property.
And that's all that's important.
And that's at rest.
And the Thirteenth Amendment did so many years ago.
And then we're gonna make millions of Teds.
And then you would get a hungry, young attorney
And there is our first impression.
And think how awesome the baby will be.
And this is exactly what you've been doing to the fags!
And unfortunately, the public doesn’t judge by reason.
And vetted your personal histories,
And what is that stuffing made of?
And when I have him, I'll call you with the code phrase.
And when the next conflict comes along,
And while I'm sympathetic to your cause,
And why would we do this?
And will be recognized in the terms set
And yet, on this bright, sunny, Boston afternoon,
And you can't appeal an emotional conviction.
And you get the best lawyer in the world on the defense.
And you guys can do all kinds of drugs together.
And you, my friend, are an oppressed minority.
And you're not a cheater. I mean, I think your balls are perfect.
And you're sitting there basically banging my lawyer,
And your air conditioner's making a loud noise
And, uh, I won't be followed?
And, uh, why does Ted not possess a, uh, male appendage?
And, uh, why does Ted not possess a, uh, male appendage?
And, um, I'm wondering, what do you think
And,honestly, it's the more serious one.
Anyone who can inspire that kind of love in another person
Apollo Creed Clubber Lang.
Are any of you gonna sit there and tell me
Are you gonna let me finish talking?
Are you gonna let me finish talking?
Are you okay? Johnny, you all right?
Are you still shaking off that hangover from the bachelor party?
Are you submitting?
Are you sure you can get him?
Are you Ted?
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Argues that the standards for personhood include self awareness,
Arizona State. Hey, how many times you been fucked on a houseboat?
As far as I'm concerned,
As for complex emotions and the capacity for empathy,
As much as anybody I've ever known.
As one might purchase a baseball glove or a Big Wheel.
Ask me when will the day be
Assisting in the betterment of your race.
At his office in New York.
At least you figured it out early.
At my friend's apartment, if you wanna join .
At one point in your career that would've been enough.
At the fact that I'm representing a teddy bear.
Aware of his own consciousness.
Aware of his own consciousness.
Baby, we're gonna be fine.
Bah, bah, bah!
Bang.
Barn!
Be careful.
Beautiful ceremony.
Because I can't do this no more. It's too much.
Because I've been informed that you're technically...
Because Teddy ain't got no dick.
Because that's where I went to school.
Because the stakes are so significant.
Because they got that little baby keeping them together.
Because we're not really working with much money.
Because we're not really working with much money.
Because you are spiraling out of control here.
Because you said that you could help us.
Because you've been staring at it, and you want it.
Being back in that church again.
Besides,
Besides, we just broke into Tom Brady's house and tried to jerk him off...
BJs here! Get your BJs! Get your red hot BJs!
BOTH: Whoa!
Bottom line is, insemination is not possible.
Bullshit! You better ask my ancestors.
But do you mind if I ask how old you are?
But I came back five minutes later,
But I need you to go to the waiting area now, please.
But I think what we're probably gonna do is
But I think you'll be impressed with my client.
But I'm going to this after hours thing
But I'm gonna have to let you go.
But if we suddenly decide to share that gift,
But it was a good time for you to vandalize my Chrysler though.
But just stuff it under the seat for now.
But let's make one thing clear.
But not if nobody finds out.
But she was always just trying to change me
But that and the trial are the only two things you fucked up. So, uh...
But that is so fucked up!
But this bear is alive.
But we all know it's an object made of copper and steel.
But we don't know any lawyers. All our friends make sandwiches.
But we're going to the right place.
But we've become such a high profile case,
But you have fun porking Gollum here, while I'm left with shit!
But you know what? Who gives a shit? Right?
But you've just been so bummed out
But, uh, (SIGHS) all we got is Tami's income these days since nobody will hire me.
By the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
Came to life back in the mid 80s right here in Boston,
Can you help me get home?
Can't be bad to feel so good
Child World toy store.
Child World toy store. You fucking heard me.
Clockwise rim job. Counterclockwise rim job!
Clubber Lang.
Come here.
Come on, guys. I mean, are we done here? I got to go.
Come on, let's get out of here!
Come on, make some fucking comedy.
Come on, one drink and I promise I won't tell anybody
Come on, put your legs into it.
Come on, read between the lines, Sam. It's "Fuck."
Come on, there's an empty supply room downstairs.
Come on!
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on. We got to get out of here before the cops show up.
Comic Con fans,