How I Met Your Mother - Season 2 Edit

A few months ago, my architecture firm was approached

A lot.

A... A...

Actually, I'll take Ted.

Actually, it didn't end at all.

Actually, yeah.

All right, we'll swing by the party.

All right, you proved it. The whole Ted Mosby, architect thing works.

All right. We're gonna take off..

All skysc****rs kind of look like a...

And don't forget the precedent set by Smith v. Rosenblatt, '74.

And don't give me the shaft.

And I don't want to brag, but they're filled with jelly.

And I made him a cheater.

And I really miss it.

And I'll get the fun part.

And I'm sorry, and I totally want to listen to his stupid stories.

And if he's really droning on,

And if we don't get it, we could go under.

And it's gonna be awesome.

And most serious young legal minds in the country.

And steal her purse.

And that led to a couple of hours

And that night was the first time I showed anyone my first drawing of it.

And that, my dear, was the end of that hack's career.

And that's why I avoid relationships.

And the other's a cheating bastard.

And then I was all, "No, Frank Gehry. You're on your own this time."

And then it got ugly.

And then she came to see me.

And thus ended this chapter of, "Let's pour our hearts out

And two spherical entryways at the front.

And what made you decide you wanted to become an architect?

And you know two of them, and they would surprise you.

And, third, I can't imagine that working on anyone ever.

And, um... just for fun, I've...

Any personal effects she left in your house or dwelling

Anything sounds impressive when it's said with the right attitude.

Architects are hot.

Architects rule! Whoo hee!

Architects rule! Whoo hoo.

Are you going to kick this girl's ass?

Are you kidding?

Aren't you a little worried that a certain somebody

Aren't you afraid a certain somebody might find out about this?

Aren't you gonna ask how my day was?

Awards are nice, they look good on my shelf.

Awesome story. As per usual.

Barney?

Barney?

Barney."

Become yours after 30 days.

Before Lily and I broke up.

Bitch is lucky I brought my small purse.

But Field of Dreams?

But I don't want you expecting 78 stories or anything.

But I got tickets to Foxy Boxing.

But I suppose I should at least give you a ride home.

But I've got a girlfriend and I've got to get back to work.

But my work stories are interesting.

But none of that acclaim means anything compared to the joy

But none of that acclaim means anything compared to the joy

But somebody has to push the paper around for us creative types.

But sure, let's go dancing.

But why would you use Ted's name?

By night, however...

Calling Marshall.

Can we talk about something else?

Carl, do you really want to be with a woman

Come on, let's go before she gets out of the shower.

Complaining about work nonstop for weeks.

Complaining about work nonstop for weeks.

Damn, these are some drunk almost lawyers.

Damn, these are some drunk almost lawyers.

Dancing is bad. Dancing leads to sex.

Dancing? He went dancing with this girl?

Did you grow up in that Footloose town?

Do you feel like dancing?

Don't go. We don't even know your name to look out for your buildings.

Dude, dude, what are you doing?

Dude, lots of chicks think architects are hot.

Dude. You should let us shave your ass tonight.

Everyone take a seat.

Everything isn't okay.

Excuse me. I'm looking for a couple guys who came in here earlier.

Excuse us for one second.

For use in just such an occasion.

Forget about Robin, okay? You're hanging with us tonight.

From any and all responsibility should you harm yourself

From Columbia Law School,

Galloping.

Get in there and beat Ted up.

Girls, I got to go, but I'm leaving you in very good, if slightly sullied hands.

Go, go, go, go.

God, I feel like I'm teaching love as a second language here.

Guys, can we cease and desist with the lawyer speak for a minute?

Hands of a master craftsman.

He asked her to a party. Oh, my God, are you okay?

He was here earlier.

He was with a guy named Ted.

He's not answering.

Hell, yeah. I love clubs.

Hello.

Her ass looks better than my face.

Her name wasn't on your lease, was it?

Hey, Carl, is Ted still here?

Hey, drunk legal dude, um... have you seen Marshall Ericksen?

Hey, just out of curiosity.

Hey, Lily.

Hey, Marshall, where's Lily?

Hey, Marshall. You up for some super loud, repetitive music

Hey, you want to see the building

Hey.

Hey. If you want, my friend Marshall invited me to this party we could all go to.

Hop on.

Hop on.

How did you get here?

How do you not like Field of Dreams?!

How do you think Mr. Brady scored a babe like Carol?

How do you think Mr. Brady scored a babe like Carol?

How was yours?

How's a $20 help your memory?

I bet you can draw, can't you?

I can't believe he's cheating on me.

I can't only materialize once every decade

I chose to spend my one day among the living with you,

I didn't want to ruin the party for everybody this early, but, uh...

I don't know how to be a girlfriend.

I don't know.

I fell asleep half way through.

I guess I don't know how to do that.

I haven't been crazy or jealous or paranoid in months,

I haven't seen this guys since, like, last year

I knew exactly what he was going to say.

I know you would.

I listen to your work stories all the time.

I live across the street.

I love being the person you bitch to.

I love it when you quote Scripture.

I mean, I was going to design a cathedral tonight,

I mean, this isn't you, Ted.

I mean, you wouldn't watch the same movie

I should probably go tell him I'm sorry, shouldn't I?

I started getting bummed out, so I came here.

I think it's stupid.

I took the nicest guy in the world

I was just helping him get there faster.

I wish I could join you guys, but I got to get back

I wonder where Ted went.

I would love to see you again, but unfortunately, I cannot.

I would love to watch the sun rise with you.

I'll handle the slutty kickboxer.

I'll have you know I composed a lovely form letter

I'll just put "resident

I'll see you at book club, Vinny.

I'll take your purse.

I'm a television news reporter.

I'm Anna, by the way.

I'm calling him. I'm telling him that I was wrong

I'm not freaking out because in my mind, she's fat.

I'm not telling you that for less than 20 bucks.

I'm sorry about earlier.

I'm telling you, you should use the architect angle with the ladies.

I've got an awome party lined up.

I've had some recent bad press on the World Wide Web.

I've never been in a relationship this serious before.

I've sort of been working on my own idea of what I think the building should be.

If a guy told you he was an architect,

If it was me, I could've designed something amazing.

If it were me, I'd be like...

If you trim that back, the rest would look bigger.

In the bedroom of Barney's one night stand."

Instead, I'm spending 12 hours a day designing the cornices.

It is tonight.

It is tonight.

It might come to something.

It never is.

It obviously ended well. I mean, you're here with me.

It was a strong and nurturing relationship

It was inevitable, I guess.

It was... fine. Nothing exciting.

It'd be a huge project for his firm.

It's a travesty.

It's about ghost baseball players.

It's gonna define the skyline of the city.

It's not like it will ever come to anything.

It's on me.

It's really gonna bum them out.

It's the job.

It's this big skysc****r in Spokane.

It's unlocked.

It's what I do.

Just fill out her name and then...

Just need you to sign this release protecting the host

Kids, sometimes your relationship goes so smoothly for so long

Kind of take a whack at the whole relationship between God and man conundrum.

Let's go.

Let's see if it's unlocked.

Like he never did when he was young enough for it to matter.

Listening is the foundation of a relationship.

Look at me. I'm acting crazy and jealous and paranoid.

Love died.

Man, what a visionary.

Marshall Ericksen.

Marshall just lied.

Marshall, hi, it's Robin. Can I talk to Ted?

Marshall, it's a 78 story pink marble tower

Marshall's great. He's just a lawyer,

Maybe a great movie like Die Hard.

Maybe after he's done with the talkie talk, he'll come over

Meant the world to me.

Might find out that you're doing this?

My purse?

No room for my gun. Here.

No way.

No, I know how it was. It was awful.

No, I mean, I guess I don't know how to do this girlfriend thing.

No, it's the first law school party of the year

No.

Not because you didn't like some movie.

Not that I'm worried or anything, but, um, back to the sun rising

Now the party was for some of Marshall's classmates

Now where does the rodeo slut live?

Obviously.

Of a bad movie is Field of Dreams?

Of seeing the sun rise over your first building.

Of seeing the sun rise over your first building.

Oh, dude, if they're selling condos, you got to get me in.

Oh, God.

Oh, he is such a cool guy.

Oh, I like the way you say that.

Oh, my God, Robin,

Oh, no, what'd you fight about?

Oh, no, what'd you fight about?

Oh, Robin, hi.

Oh, this is great. It wasn't Ted. Everything's okay.

Oh, well, that's too bad.

Oh, yeah, he was here.

Oh. Hi. Hello.

Okay,

Okay, fella, baby knows how this game's played.

Okay, fine.

Okay, first of all, I have a girlfriend.

Okay, get in there and kick some spankable ass.

Okay, I'm totally lost here. Where's Ted?

Okay, maybe this is a little bad.

Okay, where are the guys and the hooker?

Okay, you know how when he tells you boring work stories

Okay, you were right the architect thing totally works.

Okay! Seriously...

Okay? It's awesome. It's a win win.

Okay.

On the anniversary of my death.

On the grounds of... shut up.

Once is more than enough.

One's about six four, 210, sandy brown hair.

Only if you're into it.

Ooh, two tragedies in one day.

Ooh, you want to rent a movie tonight?

Or a third party.

Over and over again, would you?

Over Ted and, uh... oh, what tasteful way did you describe her?

Perhaps we will meet again in another decade,

Provided you keep your figure.

Recently dumped and heading to a lame party.

Robin took a long walk that night.

Robin, he's upset because you wouldn't listen to him,

Robin.

Second, the architect angle doesn't even work on her.

See ya.

See? Marshall's still hung up on our breakup.

She did have hair of gold.

She thought about how much easier it was just to be alone.

She thought about how opening yourself up to another person

She's a kickboxing instructor.

Should I just kick the door in?

Six... no seven.

So anyway, the head architect unveils his new design

So how was your day, Mr. Architect?

So I'm gonna have to break the news to everybody.

So I'm taking a T.O. on the whole "using my real name" thing.

So that's your go to bad movie?

So these guys one of them's an architect.

So you and Ted had your first fight.

So, I know the bouncer at this techno club, Posers.

So, now he's all mad at me about the stupid movie.

So, uh... how was your night?

So, when I came over today, I was kind of done.

So...

Solid point.

Solid point.

Something with a "A."

Sorry, I forgot my binocs for Foxy Boxing.

Sorry, my, uh... intern had to leave.

Sweet... Resident.

Ted got to vent and I don't have to hear it.

Ted hates clubs.

Ted Mosby, architect.

Ted Mosby, architect.

Ted Mosby, architect.

Ted Mosby, the architect?

Ted Mosby, the architect?

Ted Mosby... architect.

Ted, this is amazing.

Ted? He's at work.

Ted's cheating on me.

Thank God you're here. Can you help with this? I need nails.

Thanks, but seriously, it was crazy tonight.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

That guy went on to become a Supreme Court justice.

That hasn't changed since the mid 90s?

That I cannot, as a gentleman, divulge to you.

That I threw away like old gum.

That is one hell of a non sequitur.

That was a poker game. What is wrong with you?

That was the first building I ever designed.

That will make every man in Spokane feel inadequate?

That you think it will be that way forever.

That's 'cause you're always like...

That's cool. You keep that.

That's our attorney general.

That's the one.

That's what I tried to explain to the cop.

The building with the green light, apartment 3 C.

The girl with the smackable ass.

The love that made you all believe in love, that's dead now.

The number one example on the tip of your tongue

The thing is, Ted has been literally

The time we spent together, however long it was,

Then at the end of the movie when he has a catch with his dad, like...

Then can I have the...?

Then freakin' rage! Yeah!

There's enough of me for everyone.

There's nobody hotter than God.

Think about it, you create something out of nothing.

This gonna be another one of your weird all guy parties?

This is how people act in relationships.

This isn't you, Ted.

This party's gonna suck.

This project is getting harder and harder.

Those are really nice heels and you already lost the purse.

To design this new building...

To give her half the deposit when you move.

To go to San Francisco.

To my apparently boring job.

To tell you the truth, I never even saw all of Field of Dreams.

To the whole company.

Trust me.

Uh, okay. Bye.

Uh, really? On what ground, Kara?

Um, no, Ted's not here tonight. He's, uh... he's working.

Um... Lily actually called off the wedding this summer

Um... only always.

Until then, all my love from the beyond.

Usually means opening yourself up to going a little crazy.

Wait up, I'll leave with you guys.

Wait, let me just check with my friend.

We did it right here, and here and here.

We had our first fight.

We're broken up.

Well, don't stand out here and beat yourself up.

Well, guess what,

Well, I could try, but you might end up looking like a midcentury tri level.

Well, I don't know.

Well, love to join you at that one.

Well, maybe they should have moved that part up a little bit earlier, 'cause...

Well, we just had our first fight.

Well, when he picks up some random girl at a bar,

Well, you know, soul of an artist,

What do you think you're...?

What do you think?

What I don't do is tell you the same story over and over again.

What I'm trying to say is...

What is wrong with you?

What the hell comes before "Q"?

What would you think of that?

What? The best part's the last 20 minutes.

When my grandma died, I got a perm.

Who by day were some of the sharpest

Who the hell is Barney?

Who wants to shave my ass?!

Who would trade sex for beer?

Whoa. Whoa, ladies, please take it easy.

Whoo, looks like things just got a little foxier right here.

Whoo!

Why? Because I listened to him.

With a rounded top

Wow, so it's the whole package.

Wow, you're a great interviewer.

Wow.

Wow.

Yeah, but... and I don't want to be rude here,

Yeah, it's really hard, even when you're sober.

Yeah, my girl likes clutches.

Yeah, okay. There is no way Ted went dancing.

Yeah, stay.

Yeah, that's not really the part I was worried about, guys.

Yeah, they were here.

Yeah, think of another way to phrase that and you'll be fine.

Yeah...

Yes, I do.

Yes, that's the young lady.

Yes, they did. And you're just in time.

Yes.

Yo, what's up, ladies? Welcome to the party. Yeah!

You can always practice saying the alphabet backwards.

You don't have to tell me.

You know how many times I could have cheated?

You know that time we went to Spokane and I pointed out that skysc****r?

You know this girl. Where does she live?

You know what, dude?

You know what, um...

You know, girls find architects very hot.

You know, in case you get pulled over for a DUI.

You know, um...

You know, you didn't mention all the foliage around the base.

You know... I've poured a lot of free drinks for you over the years.

You mean Ted Mosby, the architect?

You proved it, all right? The whole Ted Mosby, architect things works.

You really do need to refresh my memory.

You really want to hear about boring architect stuff?

You see, I am a ghost.

You should draw me.

You should sue her.

You should tell her that looks really good with a chocolate boot.

You should work at a suicide hotline.

You want to come over?

You were right.

You're going to need to refresh my memory.

You're like God.

You're such a pig. You're not even going to say good bye?

You're supposed to freak out.

You're supposed to listen?

You're trying to do it right now, aren't you?

3 C, let's do this. You ready?

Am I right? Yeah.

And she did have hair of gold. Yes, she did.

Dude, dude, what are you doing? Galloping.

Hey. Hey.

How was your day? Good.

I'm the problem. What?

Let's do this. Bring it.

No. No.

Robin... What?

Well, I'm out of money. I'm cashed, too.

What are you doing here? I brought donuts.

Wow. Yeah.

Yeah, you did. Had to.

Yeah, you did. Had to.

Yeah, you did. That wasn't one.

Yeah, you did. Yeah, had to.

Yeah. I'll be bringing the crudités. Nice.

Yes, she did. Mm hmm.

You still single? Yes.

Your job's not boring. Robin thinks so.

'Cause if not, New York state law, you're not obligated

"Dear Resident...

# And I am nothing of a builder #

# But here I dreamt I was an architect... # Hey.