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Home > The Office Quotes
NSFW Audio: Use caution, some sounds may be offensive
And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I am going to plant my seed in you.
Babies are one of my many areas of expertise growing up. I perform my own circumcision.
Boom, roasted.
Come on guys, early Worm gets the worm.
Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.
I am going to donate to Afghanistan. Ease with aids need right now. No, I mean Afghanistan ease with aids Afghani, what Afghani? That's a dog, no, that's Afghan shall wait. No humans with AIDS who ...
I have hemorrhoids.
I've trained my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my penis up into itself.
Identity theft is not a joke, Jim millions of families suffer every year.
Never ever ever sleep with your boss. I'm so lucky that Jan and I only got to second base.
No God, no God. Please no no no no.
Tell me what you did yesterday. Nothing, nothing, yeah nothing. How was your day? I don't care how your day was Michael. Wow. Well OK I don't care how your day was either. Jan I was just asking you...
The Office Quotes Sound
Through concentration I can raise and lower my cholesterol it well. Why would you want to raise your cholesterol so I can lower it?
Well, well, well. How the turntables?
Whenever I'm about to do something I think would an idiot do that, and if they would, I do not do that thing.