Parks and Recreation (2009) - Season 7 Edit

A Ben, a Leslie,

A best selling book, a 40 city tour?

A binder of her accomplishments.

A blind, stubborn belief that what I am doing is 100% right.

A candidate named Ben Wyatt.

A celebrity.

A character from my new board game sequel,

A character who exemplifies everything that is great

A character who exemplifies everything that is great

A confirmation hearing? A freaking confirmation hearing?

A correct spelling of your last name.

A cross platform merger of our three great brands

A discount?

A fact I remember because my mind

A fact I remember because my mind

A Garry!

A goliath bird eating tarantula,

A goliath bird eating tarantula.

A heretofore unknown

A heretofore unknown hunting lodge

A hundred bucks a week that's pretty fair.

A key to Ron's house is lost in a government building.

A knight of the Order of the British Empire.

A legal debate show about issues facing residents

A legally binding document,

A little downtime, little privacy,

A little help?

A little sappy, maybe.

A lot, and it's all gonna be great.

A minimal, unhelpful note, these appear to be human teeth,

A more accurate name for this place?

A one way ticket to the Funky Monkey Dunk Tank!

A parks and recreation equipment requisition form.

A person should not have to have an advanced law degree

A pie.

A poster of the Supreme Court Justices

A press conference.

A private island I'll eventually buy

A proper send off.

A Ron, a Donna,

A salute to Johnny Karate when we come back.

A scary mermaid that lures sailors to their death.

A second resort.

A thousand?

A well organized chart.

A well organized chart.

A wise woman once told me that whenever you and I team up,

Aah!

Aah! Ha ha!

About certain aspects of certain parts of this situation

About Gryzzl's data mining program.

About his life because he was so lame.

About how it was worried Brett was gonna mug it.

About law enforcement.

About Michigan limestone.

About our friendship.

About our hopes and dreams for the internship.

About our nation's resources.

About social safety nets and honest governance

About social safety nets and honest governance

About traditional family structure

About what?

Absolutely.

Accepted only at that vending machine.

Accomplished everything I wanted to,

Accountable.

Across America that help communities.

Act like you've decided not to run.

Actually has a show where divorced couples

Actually, hang on. Stop.

Actually, I think there's a simpler solution.

Actually, I'm gonna need that back.

Actually, Ron promised me I could build a restaurant

Actually, sir, we can help.

Actually, that might work

Actually, this is Tom Sell oink, but, you know, close enough.

Admittedly, it did make the fish taste delicious,

Adolf Hitler.

After 47 years living here, I decided to move

After I said you were full of it,

After I said you were full of it,

After it delivered a package to my house.

After the interview.

After these two minutes of insanity.

After this event and attempt to talk to me.

After we drop off the renter's insurance forms,

Again, for the tenth time, proving conclusively

Again, I don't want to talk about her plan with you,

Again.

Against chemical warfare.

Against Gryzzl.

Agent Macklin, I need you.

Ah ha! Woo!

Ah, my head.

Ah, pfft! Name one time I've done that.

Ah, you're right..

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! The debate about getting a pod based coffee machine.

Ah! Wait!

Aha!

Aha!

Ahh!

All by yourself.

All I have to do is convince them that it's better taking

All I wanted was 25 square miles of land

All of America's enemies.

All of these people in the same place at the same time.

All of this stuff.

All pages accounted for, just sign right here.

All right, Donna. Let's hit it.

All right, everybody, listen up.

All right, I want to say something to my girls.

All right, later, dudes.

All right, let's just get this over with.

All right, Ms. Ludgate, we're getting close.

All right, we're here.

All right! [cheers and applause]

All right? He's gonna love me for it.

All right.

All she cares about is herself, and I can prove it.

All that and more,

All that salt will give me heartburn.

All the countries, other people

All the numbers line up.

All the steak and whiskey I have to wear a diaper.

All the sushi is made from fish

All the terrible paint and lacquer

All this work, everything I've done

All those kids keep you up all night?

All those times I showed up unannounced at your office

All those years together at the Parks department

All three of 'em. Nailed it.

All three of them just bumped into each other

All we got to do

All we need is a blimp and a decoy blimp.

All we need is Ron's key to give him a scent.

All we're asking is thatyou meet with her

All you have to do is sign.

Along with pillow, girl, real, and TED.

Alongside a team of people we love.

Also, can I have a pair of your gym socks?

Also, I thought I'd bring over

Also, there's a flirty trend in beverages.

Also, they called three hours ago,

Also, we want to give you a raise,

Also, you have a visitor.

Also, you have a visitor.

Although I truly hope that I never see you again,

Although if I had to pick one side, it would be

Although, I don't know exactly what you guys do here.

Although, I suppose she could use creative ways

Always happy to help.

Always remember, kids, when you find something new,

Always smart.

Alyssa, this is April Ludgate,

Am I even qualified?

Am I right, Janet?

Amazing

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

America, Red China

An amusement park with rides and food

An enormous parcel of land

An unthinkable decision.

An unthinkable decision.

And And they would sing along with a jug band,

And and truthfully,

And Andy and Ben have been helping me

And "Waterpark Vomit Chain Reaction."

And $500 cash, in case you want to go

And a big pile of bricks and whatever else we can find.

And a canister of sugar plums.

And a Chinese finger trap.

And a lasagna on the side.

And a push, but you have to realize

And a siren for your car.

And a spaghetti to go. On the house!

And a while back, I was thinking I'd never find someone

And a year long apprenticeship.

And a young man named Thomas Haverford

And above all, ice cream, pizza,

And action!

And added many shrimp to it

And admire you as a person.

And all signatures need to be notarized, and I really don't

And all the research has been double checked.

And all those kids love you,

And allow people the ability to opt out.

And also, I made cookies.

And also, prepare for war.

And always here when you need it...

And anticipate what they're about to do.

And anything you want to take from our house.

And are happy.

And as always, when we accidentally end up

And as far as your qualifications,

And ask people riddles before they cross.

And asked me to begin drawings for the renovation.

And attempt to have a rational discussion with you about it.

And attempt to have a rational discussion with you about it.

And based on what I see from this vantage point,

And basically break even.

And because of that, I will not let her speak.

And bleeding the rotting beast from the inside.

And bleeding the rotting beast from the inside.

And blow up he did,

And boy, oh, boy, did you love Andy.

And broke everything you own.

And build a new National Park,

And bulldozed the nurse's old house

And bulldozed the nurse's old house,

And Burt Macklin in the mix.

And can see myself spending a life together with her,

And change the subject to the Twin Peaks reboot

And clean and have businesses and people who dine out.

And Coinsy will howl for you!

And consulting is perfect for April.

And defend this miserable person.

And demonstrate ways that you can resist Tammy.

And disgusting.

And do you believe Lucy will be happy with this gift?

And does not own a Gryzzl doodad.

And doing what you really love,

And don't forget, tomorrow we have to go to that guy's office

And enter a contest for her?

And establish an education program

And even then, I used a fake name.

And every other woman in this election over the next few months.

And every other woman in this election over the next few months.

And everything's fine now.

And everything's fine now.

And everything's worked out just as I'd hoped.

And faithfully serve the people of Pawnee, Indiana.

And feed yourself to the snakes?

And fighting zoning laws that I helped pass,

And fighting zoning laws that I helped pass,

And for five years as a City Manager,

And for salary, we're at 500 a week.

And for the first time in this land battle,

And frankly, if people are foolish enough

And frankly, if you don't like our vibe,

And gathering profiles on all of us.

And get the hell out of my cab.

And get us engaged

And get us engaged in a deep and stimulating conversation

And getting weird stretch marks and veins everywhere,

And grab the Missouri files.

And guess what I have planned for tonight?

And guess what? I don't know the words.

And guess what. I don't know the words.

And handed Gryzzl a fully formed plan

And have to get out of here?

And he can sign it there, and then you can tell Ron

And he lifted all of us up.

And he's got a tight, compact, little body

And he's the best there is.

And help me out?

And here it is.

And his business card.

And his business card.

And his campaign rolls this giant tin and paper ball

And his stupid crunches that he probably does.

And hold!

And honestly it's your money.

And human equivalent of gas station Sushi, Jeremy Jamm.

And I am an insane weirdo

And I am an insane weirdo

And I am Ben Wyatt, and I very much approve this message!

And I am keeping it.

And I am never gonna change my mind on that,

And I am the Lamplighter,

And I am tired of everybody constantly telling her

And I became a notary public.

And I calmly saunter down to your office

And I calmly saunter down to your office

And I can't be the person that makes you lose what you love.

And I can't do it if I have to look you in the eye.

And I cannot believe this is the first time I'm hearing it.

And I change her degree to accounting. Easy.

And I convinced the superintendent of this park

And I didn't feel like explaining why

And I didn't feel like explaining why to you or anyone.

And I do not intend to repeat that error.

And I don't intend to learn.

And I don't remember where.

And I don't want those kids to make the same mistake, okay?

And I dropped my keys down there too,

And I enjoyed bullying Jen into quitting.

And I find out you have quit the Parks Department

And I find out you have quit the Parks Department

And I found some heart medicine I assume is yours.

And I had to settle for this placeholder.

And I happen to be an excellent pie maker,

And I have a plan

And I have severe tunnel vision about achieving my goals.

And I have the right, as a citizen of the United States,

And I have the right, as a citizen of the United States,

And I have to say, you know, getting married is

And I have to warn you, there'll be a confirmation hearing.

And I hope that you can see now

And I just want to thank you for taking me down memory lane,

And I just want you to know how much I love you.

And I just want you to know that for the past ten years"

And I know how hard it is to get to that place.

And I know just the person who should accompany me.

And I know this because earlier I sneaked and snooked around,

And I know you just got out of a relationship

And I left a rusty hacksaw on the table,

And I left a rusty hacksaw on the table.

And I love that she's buying us stuff.

And I love you very much.

And I love you!

And I love you.

And I made it into this frame for you

And I made it into this frame for you in the event

And I mean every word of it.

And I need to figure out what I really want.

And I never even asked myself if I even really like it.

And I promise I'm gonna try my best.

And I realized it meant bulldozing Ann's old house,

And I realized it meant bulldozing Ann's old house,

And I saw this group of eight year olds laughing,

And I say...not for me.

And I start in a couple months.

And I still went broke.

And I swear to God, y'all, I nearly fainted.

And I thank you for this honor.

And I think I know right now who needs it the most

And I think that presentation we put together says it all.

And I think the results speak for themselves.

And I think we need to stay in Pawnee forever.

And I think you do know that data mining isn't chill,

And I think you know that.

And I used to go to tons of stuff there.

And I want to own the character Johnny Karate, 'cause it's me.

And I want you to be happy because you're my friend.

And I want you working here forever,

And I was wondering if you would deliver a little welcome speech.

And I will do so using the most powerful tool

And I will do so using the most powerful tool known to man.

And I will handle the Berlin Meagles.

And I will need your thumbprints.

And I would add that what makes work worth doing

And I would never reveal classified information.

And I would've chugged that entire gallon of milk

And I'd be extremely jazzed to be a part of the Gryzzl bid.

And I'll choose your outfit and everything but

And I'm gonna go crush Joe Biden in charades.

And I'm gonna maintain eye contact the whole time.

And I'm gonna maintain eye contact the whole time.

And I'm gonna need the money for my wedding.

And I'm gonna sell it for a mint,

And I'm gonna sing along

And I'm gonna sing along.

And I'm good at making calzones.

And I'm holding zebras.

And I'm pretty good at it.

And I'm scared of death

And I'm so glad that we are leaving

And I'm sorry I called you a heartless thug."

And I'm sorry.

And I'm tired of waiting on them, okay?

And I'm tired of waiting on them, okay? Okay.

And I've been a summer camp counselor since I was 13.

And I've been thinking about it all day

And I've worked with James Bond.

And if she disappoints you, you can hold me...

And if she started soon, she could project manage

And if they don't, I feel like it's kind of on them.

And if you don't have feelings for me,

And if you look out this window,

And if you say you like it, you're a chump and a liar.

And improving lives.

And improving lives. Basic nonsense.

And in the words of Jessica Wicks Newport, heir

And infinity plus one year.

And is that really the reason? No.

And it all started with this internship,

And it causes real trouble with Gayle.

And it didn't like me,

And it goes a little something like thi

And it goes all the way to 2022.

And it is possible that we would murder each other."

And it looks like your wife is skipping the Pie mary.

And it seemed like people thought we were wrong

And it was a bunch of Virginia Woolf novels.

And it was just so exciting.

And it was probably an accident.

And it would be a huge career move for you.

And it'd be super fun to work with you.

And it'll be over in just a couple of weeks,

And it's in my own backyard.

And it's the biggest one yet.

And Jammy was supposed to vote for me.

And just kick back.

And just like Joey Fatone and Lance Bass,

And just shove you behind the podium way upstage.

And just thought everything was stupid and lame,

And learned something about my child

And leave them on your hair overnight, not eat them.

And like that,

And living on an island with your kids.

And make a killing.

And make April seem like the ideal candidate.

And make everyone feel awesome, so it's no different.

And make her life feel complete.

And make sure no one harms it.

And match them with one of the thousands of jobs

And misogynistic, and if you participate,

And most of all, churches.

And most of all, I'm gonna miss you, Leslie.

And most of Ben's ties are in the toilet.

And music to all the children

And my very favorite, the Lincoln Memorial.

And no one's ever asked to see it.

And nobody opposes him. Till now.

And none of us has a log in, so can't access the computers.

And not a corpate campus.

And not always in a good way.

And not died

And not laugh really hard

And not laugh really hard

And nothing really brings me joy,

And now I'm executive director of regional whatever

And now I'm old and gross and directionless.

And now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find a new intern.

And now it's time to celebrate Andy Dwyer's greatest creation

And now that the show is ending,

And now we're not.

And now your lives are perfect.

And now, back to the show.

And now, I have the chance to give this town a massive,

And obviously everyone's in a really great mood now

And officially diversified my portfolio.

And on our bench...

And on the last day of your show,

And once again, it is up to me to save our friendship,

And once again, it is up to me to save our friendship.

And our senior advisory team.

And pay for the cake you already ate.

And pelted with things.

And people know that.

And people want to live next to it.

And Peter Bogdanovich's saltwater eel.

And please sign it in cursive.

And preserving the other.

And said, "Excuse me, sir, but I disagree."

And said, "Excuse me, sir, but I disagree."

And say three great things about being alive.

And secondly, Ben and I have an announcement.

And secured tomorrow's vote.

And selling to Gryzzl for $125 million.

And seriously consider her for the job.

And settle your differences like grown ups,

And several other establishments.

And several other properties.

And several other properties.

And sexy cartoon characters.

And she called 9 1 1.

And she left a string of clues.

And she lives in Chicago, and she's still dating someone,

And she sent me a throw pillow with my face stitched onto it.

And she won't leave me alone.

And she wrote that she wanted to be governor

And she's just gonna quit on me?

And she's my favorite flower.

And snooked that vote away from me.

And so many parents so happy, that we wanted to give you

And so was Calvin Coolidge's dad

And so was Calvin Coolidge's paternal grandfather.

And soon a new, unknown challenge awaits me,

And start it for dinner Thursday.

And still meet deadlines.

And talk about my feelings for 10 hours.

And talk about my feelings for ten hours.

And talk about that shade Nicki Minaj

And ten years ago when he was elected,

And thank you to the boys and girls club for the incredibly

And thank you to Tom for that moving tribute to you.

And that absolutely includes our national parks.

And that is because it's my final show.

And that man was me. Tom Haverford.

And that tuxedo makes you look like a sexy orchestra conductor.

And that was it.

And that was two years ago.

And that, I swear,

And that's a step in the right direction.

And that's saying something.

And that's what I don't get.

And that's what I don't get.

And that's when my leg fell asleep

And that's why we called on you home court chillers

And the automatic timer won't go off

And the automatic timer won't go off until tomorrow at 8:00 a.m.

And the ceremonial squash toss.

And the DNC thinks that I should run for governor.

And the last card is played.

And the lifeguard's off in the bathroom pooping.

And the National Park Service is proud to say

And the Newport family has been here since day one.

And the next domino to fall?

And the people I fired.

And the perfect grandchildren and great grandchildren!

And the phones and internet?

And the phones and Internet? Oh, they've been disconnected.

And the Pie mary is ridiculous and antiquated.

And the sales for Chick fil A went through the roof

And the science on them is very promising.

And the sexy ladies known in Pawnee as

And the Southern Indiana foothills.

And the spirit will stay with us forever.

And the tax break is substantial.

And their board still says no?

And then a different notary notarized the oath I signed.

And then brought him a box of presents,

And then cut back to four days a week.

And then donate the rest to National Parks.

And then I filled it with, you know,

And then I filled it with, you know,

And then I moved it to protect it,

And then I said my real name is Gary and they said, who cares.

And then I said, uh, you might want to check with the penguin.

And then I thought, "Oh, no, he's insane.

And then I thought, "Oh, wow, he's intense."

And then I was trying to get it out,

And then just be like, "Hey, chumps.

And then just go out there and publicly apologize.

And then keep the land or sell it?

And then Leslie told me to do a bunch of stuff,

And then Lucy just Gryzzl texts you out of nowhere?

And then maybe later I'll wear that little red thing?

And then President of the United States.

And then put them to work doing cool stuff all over the world,

And then send them far away from me.

And then she makes me go

And then tomorrow at the wedding,

And then we figure out

And then we find something that fits that list.

And then we flip the antiquated tradition right on its head.

And then we need to sign a suicide pact,

And then we'll tell Ben

And then we're gonna split our time

And then we're gonna split our time

And then when I turn around, you can stab me in the back

And then when you hit him up on Gryzzl,

And then, I lost the list.

And then, two months after that,

And then, two months after that,

And then, you know, sometimes I don't.

And there are not many people

And there seemed to be little point in continuing.

And there were no Mexicans in the music business.

And there's room for a P.S. if you feel

And there's this girl I really like,

And there's too much kale now.

And they can sign the coin, and then, you know, the coin

And they contained very specific

And they do seem to, as they say,

And they kind of upset my stomach.

And they need us in Washington to prep

And they need us in Washington to prep.

And they said that you have a free half hour.

And they say prepare for war on them.

And they think she has a great shot to win.

And they're all super cheap

And they're all, like, smart and great and healthy,

And this guy better appreciate it because

And this internship is the videotape from The Ring.

And this is me DJ ing a boat party in Venezuela,

And this is my assistant turned lover,

And this is my best shot.

And this is my best shot.

And this is proof that I was correct

And this is the greatest moment of my life.

And this man right here built that diner from the ground up

And this mental institution

And this wedding is gonna be amazing.

And to our left is Usher's Los Angeles residence.

And today has been the best day of my life.

And together,

And track them wherever they go

And treat everyone with fairness,

And vampires and stuff.

And walk out as a free man.

And walk out as a free man.

And was denied a fascinating conversation

And we are fed up!

And we are going to do great.

And we are not leaving until we get an answer.

And we can save Pawnee forever. Who's in?

And we could really stick it to Ron's team.

And we definitely do not live down here now.

And we don't even get to keep the land?

And we don't see each other as much as we used to,

And we have a flight to catch.

And we have one last problem to fix.

And we have proof that Gryzzl has been data mining.

And we hope you agree that this is the best plan

And we just think that April would be a great hire.

And we need him for the press conference, and we need

And we need the first floor maintenance room open.

And we should be aiming for quantity over quality.

And we thought maybe she could work for you.

And we tried something new, even though it was scary to us,

And we want you to watch quietly.

And we were kicked out.

And we'll hold some mock interviews

And we're clear.

And we're here to tell you..

And weird birthmarks.

And welcome to the Pawnee Bicentennial Gala.

And well dressed.

And what I have to tell you cannot wait.

And what if she says no?

And what is this?

And what's it called? "Morningstar?"

And what's it called? Morningstar?

And whatever happens,

And when he finds out what Gryzzl is doing,

And when it gets back to where it was when you were born,

And whether or not they are invading our privacy.

And while you're here, why not visit

And who understands the local economy.

And who's even watching your children right now,

And why have we had lunch so many times?

And with enough energy, America, nothing can stop us.

And with you.

And work through our problems,

And work with us again.

And worst of all, swaggerless.

And years have gone by, and now I'm here

And you admitted that you were a stubborn butthead,

And you admitted that you're a stubborn butthead,

And you are wonderful friend, but, sometimes

And you best believe she will.

And you brought me back from the brink,

And you can all just sit there,

And you can see that

And you could get some baller tax breaks

And you didn't have the guts to tell me yourself.

And you didn't have the guts to tell me yourself.

And you had a nervous breakdown.

And you had a nervous breakdown.

And you have a Hooters platinum card.

And you have started your own building company

And you have started your own building company

And you in the process. Later.

And you know what, kids act the opposite of their parents.

And you live to torture Ron.

And you love doing it, and you're the best host,

And you might be the only one who can help him.

And you need to find her a job that she will love and cherish

And you never told us you had a brother.

And you put farts in my lunch.

And you said to me, "Ms. Knope, I have one question for you

And you said to me, "Ms. Knope, I have one question for you.

And you stood up for what you believed in,

And you stood up for what you believed in,

And you turned me into someone

And you want to bring in some new team members.

And you wanted to come up to the third floor

And you wanted to come up to the third floor and work with us again.

And you were at fault?

And you, too, Michelle.

And you'll be spending another 100 million, at least,

And you'll come up with a new idea.

And you're a perfect candidate.

And you're an excellent caretaker for our children.

And you're doing what you're meant to do.

And you're gonna tear all the houses down?

And you're gonna tear all the houses down?

And you're Jeremy Jamm, I mean, come on.

And your failure as a businessman

And your fashion choices, etcetera,

And your stupid name, Ron.

And your utter lack of interest

And your utter lack of interest

And, actually, right now it's Mr. Wyatt.

And, hey, enjoy that new prototype Gryzzl tablet, huh?

And, of course, we face scanned you when you came in.

And, oh, my gosh

And, uh, I'm constantly sick,

And...

Andy Dwyer's final good bye when we come back.

Andy Dwyer/Johnny Karate,

Andy faced one of those moments just a few years ago.

Andy has a meeting?

Andy pulled his life together, and he got himself a job

Andy, do you know how lucky you are to work here?

Andy, I am here in this weird, flat place,

Andy, it's Chris.

Andy, now that you're an official police officer...

Andy, on behalf of the entire Pawnee Police Department,

Andy, think about what you're saying right now,

Andy, you know where I stand on this.

Andy? Bring me the next person

Andy? We're planning our whole week.

Andy's my friend, and I want to do a good job,

Andy's show gets huge ratings in three cities.

Angora toothbrushes, and locally sourced

Ann Arbor, Michigan, is literally the greatest city

Ann lived there, Ron.

Ann, you beautiful, sassy mannequin come to life.

Ann, you opalescent tree shark.

Ann, you rainbow infused space unicorn.

Ann! Oh, my God! It's happening.

Ann. Ann's here!

Annabel Porter from Bloosh.

Annabel's authentic, hand strained

Announce it next month, but they must have gotten impatient. Okay.

Another mystery solved!

Another problem solved by the hard work

Any creative problem solving?

Any information they want.

Anything is possible if you follow your dreams.

Anything to get away from this cologne smell.

Anything.

Anytime your name comes up, I panic

Anyway, I became really motivated once I got out

Anyway, I love you, and to thank you,

Anyway, okay. It doesn't matter.

Anyway, the point is, yes, I do like working at Interior.

Apology accepted, and then

Apparently, Craig is studying yoga.

Apparently, Craig is studying yoga.

Apple juice, barbeque sauce,

Appreciate the company.

April has to be able to make up her own mind.

April kept pulling it,

April kept pulling it. So the fire department disconnected it.

April Ludgate Dwyer.

April, are you super psyched?

April, I need you to get the word out,

April, Ron and I are going to JJ's

April, Ron and I are going to JJ's

April, the new Parks interns start today,

April, this is Alyssa from the American Service Foundation.

April, walk with me.

April, we couldn't be happier, and you are an angel for asking.

April, we have a bench in D.C.!

April, what's going on?

April, when Randy brings up the river project,

April, why don't you come on out and talk to the children?

April, you don't need me.

April, you looked at one horrifying job.

April, you spent the last ten years doing amazing things

April, you're the exact opposite

April! Group one is boarding!