Clueless (1995) Edit

A bunch of junk

A dress.

A licensed driver with nothing to do?

A night alone with Christian?

A second notice for three outstanding tickets.

A very important piece.

A watch doesn't really go with this outfit, Daddy.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Hey!

Aah! No!

Aah! Stop it!

About violations of the Clean Air Act.

Act like Travis is saying something funny.

Act like Travis is saying something funny.

Actually, going all the way

Actually, I'm going to a Tree People meeting.

Actually, if you take Wilshire to Canon,

After that, Dionne's virginity

Ah choo!

All of a sudden, we were laughing and...

All of you, come with me.

All right, Cher!

All right, we're off.

All right?

All right.

All right.

All right. Bye, hon.

All right. Look, I'm really sorry.

Already? Great.

Also, sometimes you have to show a little skin.

Always have him wanting more.

Always trying to get us involved

Am I some sort of a mentally challenged airhead?

Amateur skateboarding league.

Amber will take the con position.

Amber, reply?

Amber!

An a what a?

An evil male had broken my heart.

And anything you can do

And beautiful and...

And beautiful and...

And Buns Of Steel

And costume decisions.

And could the suicide attempts

And cover it up with a backwards cap,

And Daddy is so good,

And Daddy was way grateful.

And Daddy would kill me if he knew where I was.

And deserted me.

And escorted them right over there.

And even though I was alone,

And everyone

And everyone

And he can't afford to lose that time.

And he didn't say that.

And he earns minor ducats at a thankless job.

And he's a hideous dancer.

And he's all, Where were you today?

And her slip is always showing,

And his idea of acting like a family is to criticize me.

And I need to be found

And I really, really didn't want to call him.

And I still don't know what to do about Mr. Hall.

And I'm already going north.

And if I did, I'd come back someday and find her

And in the grand tradition of P.E. teachers,

And it takes that long to get there.

And lots of little guys.

And make her well dressed and popular.

And my designated driver tried to attack me.

And my girlfriends be telling me

And my hair will shine like the sea

And one semester here.

And put on some baggy pants

And reading one nonschool book a week.

And restrained them before they've wandered

And see the new Christian Slater.

And she has more lipstick on her teeth than on her mouth.

And Sparatacus.

And that's the Persian Mafia.

And the body to go with it

And the boy can dress.

And the clog knocking me out

And then they think of sex.

And then...

And they're all like this.

And to tell you the truth,

And took his sucky Italian roast.

And unconvincing.

And we all laugh, of course,

And we were discussing the difference

And with that in mind,

And you almost killed someone.

And you can't B.S. your way through it.

And you lose weight by cutting it small.

And you're the one I've always planned to be...

And, Josh, spare me your lectures

And, like, three pieces of licorice.

And, like, we're expected to swoon?

And, uh, well, what?

And?

Any comments? Elton?

Any further insights?

Anything happens to my daughter,

Anything happens to my daughter,

Anyway, why should I care what Josh thinks?

Anyways, I got the tape, right?

Are having a party.

Are in this dramatic relationship.

Are you going to take me somewhere

Are you O.K.?

Are you O.K.?

Are you saying... you care about me?

Are you some kind of idiot?

Are you suffering from buyer's remorse or something?

Are you sure that's fat free?

As far as everyone's concerned,

As if!

As if!

As if!

As soon as I get my license,

Ask her questions.

ASL.

At least for me. I want to be a lawyer.

At the coffeehouse without chin pubes.

Aw, honey, you baked.

Away

Be quiet, you idiot!

Be seeing ya.

Because Christian is brutally hot,

Because he's in his postadolescent idealistic phase?

Because we both know what it's like

Besides, the PC term is hymenally challenged.

Between high school girls and college girls.

Blot.

Boy, considering how clueless she was,

Boy, getting off the freeway makes you realize

Boy! That came out of nowhere!

Break me off a piece of that.

Breathe, breathe. Breathe in. Breathe.

Bring me back up!

But Daddy says I can't take the Jeep out

But far be it for me to deny anyone else.

But I can make you some coffee if you'd like.

But I couldn't do that stuff with Josh.

But I don't get how guys dress today.

But I like to pretend she still watches over me.

But I need something to learn on.

But I suppose there's no harm in finding one for myself also.

But I thought you or Miss Geist might like it.

But I took the towel as a souvenir.

But I was brutally rebuffed.

But I'm gonna feel this way till I'm 6 feet underground

But it is another to be fried all day.

But it will be a gown.

But it's Dionne. It might be important.

But it's soothing

But my enjoyment was put on pause

But not necessarily misogynistic undertone.

But now I don't know how to act around him.

But people came that, like, did not RSVP,

But seriously,

But sometimes I have more fun vegging out

But this is not why I come here.

But this is older, see?

But thy eternal summer shall not fade."

But tolerance is always a good lesson.

But we don't do it here

But we should do something good for mankind

But what brought on this surge of empowerment?

But what makes somebody a better person?

But you could take Tai on your way up to Sunset.

But you want to see?

But you, I mean, you don't need to be doing this.

But, Tai, do you really think you'd be good with Josh?

By far the most tardies in the class.

By the end of the day,

Bye, Daddy.

Bye.

Bye.

Calm.

Calvin Klein.

Can I please give you some advice?

Can I use the pass?

Can take years to heal.

Can you imagine the nerve of that guy?

Can you imagine what that must feel like?

Carpe diem, O.K.?

Cher Horowitz... two tardies.

Cher is saving herself for Luke Perry.

Cher will be pro.

Cher, ain't that the same dress

Cher, can I talk to you a minute?

Cher, come on.

Cher, get in here!

Cher, get in here.

Cher, get in here.

Cher, I expect you to become a good driver.

Cher, I have a question.

Cher, listen to me.

Cher, please don't start with the juice again.

Cher, two minutes.

Cher, what are you doing?

Cher, you'll come with me.

Cher, you're a virgin?

Cher, you've been nothing but super duper nice to me.

Cher!

Cher?

Cher's got attitude about high school boys.

Cher's main thrill in life is a makeover.

Christian had a thing for Tony Curtis,

Christian said he'd call the next day.

Christian, what do you think of Amber?

Christian.

Christian.

Claes Oldenburg.

Classic!

Classics, indeed?

Cleaning out your refrigerator?

Cliffs Notes.

Closer, Tai.

Come here! Yeah, come here.

Come here. Have your old room.

Come on, Dee.

Come on, Josh!

Come on, you chuckleheads! Get in here!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Show me the rest of your pad.

Come on. You need some excitement in your life.

Come over here.

Congratulations.

Cool picture.

Could all conversations please come to a halt?

Could be I can't remember

Could they please be more generic?

Crazy as it sounds

Crazy as it sounds

Crazy as it sounds

Cut it out!

Daddy had an urgent case.

Daddy says it's a good investment.

Daddy, did you ever have a problem

Daddy, no!

Daddy, some people lost all their belongings.

Daddy, you need your Vitamin C.

Daddy!

Daddy's a litigator.

Damn. You did wonderful.

Dee, I almost had sex with him.

Dee, I'm Audi.

Dee, my mission is clear.

Dee, that's it!

Dee, when your allergies act up,

Dee?

Describe.

Did I really ruin Daddy's lawsuit?

Did I show you the loqued out Jeep Daddy got me?

Did I stumble into some bad lighting?

Did my hair get flat?

Did you get your report card?

Did you sign up for the environmental fair?

Did you write that?

Didn't Tai look cute tonight?

Dionne and her boyfriend Murray

Dionne asking Tai for sex advice?

Dionne, you're up.

Dionne's bucking for best dramatic actress at a Val party.

Dionne's going out with a high school boy.

Do I make myself clear?

Do whatever you want with your butts.

Do you guys think Travis will be there?

Do you have any idea what you're talking about?

Do you know what time it is?

Do you prefer fashion victim

Do you recall the dates of these alleged tardies?

Do you remember the time at the frat

Do you remember when we were at the Val party

Do you see how boys are responding?

Do you see the distinction?

Do you think she's pretty?

Do you think that he likes you?

Do you think we could do it next Monday?

Do you want it?

Doable.

Doesn't mean he's my father.

Doesn't she look classic?

Doing stuff for other people."

Doll face.

Don't call my mom!

Don't cry.

Don't ever change

Don't ever change

Don't sell yourself short.

Don't sneak out of the office.

Don't tell me those lowlifes

Don't the slackers prefer

Don't worry. I'll take care of it.

Don't you even know who my father is?

Don't you think that includes athletic equipment?

Don't you want to use your popularity for a good cause?

Downtown, the young ones are going

Downtown, the young ones are going

Dr. Lovett says that you've got to get down to 200.

Dr. Lovett's giving you a flu shot.

Earth to Cher. Come in, Cher.

Eat oranges. Get Vitamin C.

Elton, comments?

Elton?

Elton's got a picture of you in his locker.

Emptiness began to roam, and where did you go?

Even Fabian, my masseuse,

Even though I apologized to Lucy,

Even when it comes out of nowhere.

Every single possession, every memory,

Every time that you see

Every woman has got to make for herself.

Everyone was talking about

Everything I think and everything I do is wrong.

Everything you've had your whole life

Everywhere in L.A. takes 20 minutes.

Ew!

Ew! Get off of me!

Ew! My life is turning into a bigger disaster than Malibu.

Except this time, I'd makeover my soul.

Excuse me, Miss Dionne,

Excuse me, Miss Dionne,

Excuse me?

Excuse me. My shoes.

Excuse me. You were saying?

Fabulous.

Failed?

Fashion

Find an excuse to leave during the conversation.

Fine!

Fine.

Fine.

First thing I do is put on my blinker.

Follow through! There you go.

For a boy of such varied gifts?

For a couple of hours.

For all the good deeds I was doing.

For her courageous fashion efforts.

For my father's birthday, right?

For spending hours making those Egg McMuffins,

For the children of my master,

For the improvement in their grades.

For the September 3rd conversations.

Forget it!

Fresh goes better

Freshman Psych.

Friday night and everyone's moving

From far away, it's O.K.

From his busy pants dropping schedule

From now on,

From someone who watches cartoons.

From this moment on, you will not drive,

From where?

Geist.

Get back in the car.

Get back into the right lane...

Get down on the ground face down.

Get down!

Get Josh what?

Get on the floor, and let's dance some more

Get on the floor, and let's dance some more

Get on the floor, and let's dance some more

Get on the floor, and let's dance some more?

Get out of my chair!

Girls, she's about to throw the bouquet!

Girls.

Go out and have fun. Go shopping.

Go out and have fun. Go shopping.

Go straight! Go straight! Go straight!

Go to the mall, have a calorie fest,

Go to the right!

Go upstairs and put something over it.

God, Elton! Can't you suck?

God! You say it like it's a bad thing.

Gone in a second.

Good! Let's do it. You're ready.

Good.

Good.

Got another one.

Granola breath, you got something on your chin.

Great. Tai will go with Summer.

Great. What was that all about?

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha!

Ha ha!

Hagsville.

Hand it over. Give me the phone.

Handsome.

Hang with us.

Have been calling again.

Having a snack with my girlfriends.

He does dress better than I do.

He does like to shop, Cher,

He doesn't have one unique thought

He dresses funny.

He fights with me for free.

He finds the only adult in here,

He gave me a C minus.

He gave me a C, which drags down my entire average.

He gets $500 an hour to fight with people.

He got the finest face I ever seen

He is not your dad. Go torture a new family.

He is so possessive.

He knows what he wants to do.

He listens to complaint rock.

He said he'd come over with some videotapes.

He said my debates were unresearched, unstructured,

He thinks he's all that, Tai.

He was becoming one of my favorite shopping partners.

He was looking at me?

He was looking at me?

He your gardener. You tell him.

He'll be spending one semester in Chicago

He's a disco dancing, Oscar Wilde reading,

He's absolutely right.

He's gay.

He's going to go ballistic.

He's going with Amber?

He's got no cause for complaints.

He's in a good college.

He's not even cute... in a conventional way.

He's not?

He's one of those do gooder types.

He's taken our minds at the most fecund point

He's the one that screwed up.

He's way famous.

He's way popular,

He's your stepbrother!

Heads up!

Hear me! You...

Hello! It was his 50th birthday.

Hello! That was a stop sign.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Don't you mean Tai?

Hello? Was I the only one listening?

Hello.

Her picture's in your locker.

Here comes your boyfriend.

Here.

Here's the 411 on Mr. Hall...

Here's where Dionne lives.

Hey, Cher, is it true gang members tried to shoot Tai?

Hey, Cher.

Hey, Duchess?

Hey, Elton, um...

Hey, everyone. Let's play suck and blow.

Hey, James Bond.

Hey, man, we're just joking.

Hey, man.

Hey, Mom. 98 in Geometry. Pretty groovy, huh?

Hey, Summer.

Hey, Tai, did you get a flyer?

Hey, Tai! Wait up!

Hey, you O.K.?

Hey, you.

Hey, you're home.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! You know about this stuff.

Hey.

Hey.

Hi, Cher. How are you?

Hi, Daddy. This is my friend Tai.

Hi, Gail.

Hi!

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Pretty random fiesta. Want a ride home?

His dad can get you into any concert.

His head looks bigger.

Hit the ball.

Hmm? What?

Hold that.

Honey, relax. Baby, relax.

How about some chronic shit?

How about sterilization?

How can you say that?

How could that be?

How did you do? Well, let's see, shall we?

How do you know if we're doing it sporadically?

How do you know?

How important love is.

How many girls can say that about you?

How many hours a day do you spend grooming yourself?

How much fun would it be having a brother type tagging along?

How'd I do that?

Huh?

Huh. Thanks.

Husband number four's at home,

I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl.

I am going to take that lost soul

I am majorly, totally, crazy in love with Josh.

I am rescuing her from teenage hell.

I am so glad you're here.

I am. You try driving in platforms.

I assume you are referring to women's troubles,

I believe I'm you

I believe that was your designer impostor perfume.

I bet they haven't eaten all night.

I broke in my purple clogs.

I can see why.

I can take the girls home.

I can't believe I failed.

I can't believe I was so capricious about it.

I can't believe I was so unsupportive

I can't believe I went off the way I did.

I can't open it. I have to make him wait!

I can't pinpoint the spirituality.

I care about the news.

I could feel the chunks start to rise up in my throat.

I could get you some wine.

I could really use some sort of herbal refreshment.

I could tell Tai's grieving period

I decided I needed a complete makeover,

I did what any normal girl would do.

I didn't know the number of the party,

I didn't know what I was going to say to Tai.

I didn't know you could get tickets without a license!

I didn't like him.

I didn't say anything.

I didn't say that.

I divided them into entrees and appetizers.

I divided them into two piles.

I do not wear polyester hair, O.K.?

I don't begrudge her a boyfriend.

I don't care

I don't care

I don't get it.

I don't have a license yet,

I don't know where she meets these Barneys.

I don't know why

I don't know, like...

I don't know. I feel wretched.

I don't know. What do you have?

I don't mind.

I don't need it anymore,

I don't rely on mirrors,

I don't remember getting a first notice.

I don't remember her,

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

I doubt anybody would miss you.

I doubt I worked off the calories

I dug it.

I enjoy these little chats of ours,

I expect you to walk in this door in 20 minutes.

I failed something I couldn't talk my way out of?

I feel like bailing, dude.

I feel like my after school commitments aren't good enough.

I feel like ralphing.

I feel like such a bonehead.

I feel like such a heifer.

I felt better already.

I felt impotent and out of control,

I felt really nervous.

I felt so satisfied, I wanted to do more good deeds.

I fully intend to brake for animals,

I gave him my lemon Snapple

I got a C in Debate?

I got a place near school.

I got a.45 and a shovel.

I got to get back to school.

I got to go to the quad before somebody snags it.

I got to tell you something.

I had an overwhelming sense of ickyness.

I had to give myself snaps

I had to haul ass to the kitchen,

I had to haul ass to the ladies.

I had two bowls of Special K,

I had two mochaccinos.

I have a note from my tennis instructor

I have a question, all right?

I have an insight, Mr. Hall.

I have been trying to get you with Tai!

I have got an idea.

I have to look at you.

I have to redo all that.

I hear girls at NYU aren't at all particular.

I hope you're not thinking of staying here.

I joined this club, and there are these steps.

I knew it when you kissed me.

I knew it.

I knew it.

I know exactly how that feels.

I know it sounds mental,

I know it's a game.

I know that when I have my own wedding,

I know what you mean, but at least it's exercise.

I know what you're thinking.

I know when I was held at gunpoint...

I know!

I know. Shh. Here he comes.

I like him.

I like this boy, and he likes someone else.

I listened to it, like, every single night.

I love him.

I love Josh.

I mean there's not really a lot to him,

I mean, he's just like this slug

I mean, he's, like, a school nerd.

I mean, I get up, I brush my teeth.

I mean, I thought it reeked.

I mean, look how he ignores every other girl.

I mean, standing in line for 40 minutes

I mean, there's so much work to be done,

I met a really cool guy.

I need you around

I need you around

I need you around

I need you here. Does this work?

I needed to find sanctuary

I never needed anyone

I not a Mexican!

I noticed him scoping you out.

I object!

I realized how much I wanted a boyfriend of my own.

I really hate that.

I really love her hair

I really... Ooh!

I said I wanted it in the morning! No!

I said RSVP because it was a sit down dinner.

I search for the beat in this dirty town

I sent for reinforcements.

I sent myself love letters and flowers and candy,

I so need lessons from you on how to be cool.

I suppose it wasn't meant to be.

I sure want to.

I swear I saw this...

I swear to God. I swear to God, woman!

I think I checked them

I think I'd like to check out environmental law.

I think it is a travesty of the legal profession.

I think that I remember Hamlet accurately.

I think that there's some merit

I think they've seen that lke and Tina Turner movie

I think we were born to move.

I thought that you and Murray were...

I thought we moved on from there.

I told my P.E. teacher

I totally paused.

I tried.

I want this, like, whole, entire floral motif,

I want to be 5'10 like Cindy Crawford.

I want to burn it because I'm so over him.

I want to concentrate on

I want to do something good for humanity.

I want to help.

I was at this party,

I was going to take the driving test,

I was just totally clueless.

I was really happy for Tai.

I was thinking it was too cluttered.

I was wrong about Christian.

I was wrong about Elton.

I wasn't sure about that.

I went by Dad's office.

I will totally shoot you in the head.

I will. I'm going to practice real hard.

I wish I could do it.

I would just like to say

I wouldn't know. I failed.

I wouldn't skin a collie for a backpack.

I'd change your mind

I'd die of shock.

I'd get in the way.

I'd have to get off the freeway.

I'd like to see you have some direction.

I'll call you.

I'll get killed 'cause she's a moron.

I'll get you after school.

I'll go on.

I'll watch her for you.

I'm actually getting tired.

I'm afraid I can't permit that.

I'm all ears.

I'm always wrong, right?

I'm amazed.

I'm buggin' myself.

I'm calling in sick.

I'm calling your mother.

I'm captain of the Pismo Beach disaster relief.

I'm completely buggin'.

I'm going to distribute your report cards.

I'm going to walk Heather to her door.

I'm gonna be a supermodel

I'm growing a goatee.

I'm her only hope.

I'm here with you. I'm here with you.

I'm hip

I'm just a ditz with a credit card?

I'm just a ditz with a credit card?

I'm new, but I thought maybe you had an in on the heavy clambakes.

I'm not a virgin.

I'm not good enough for Josh or something?

I'm not offering. I'm asking you if you drink.

I'm not sure I want you with a stupid fellow.

I'm not trying to hear that.

I'm really sorry.

I'm right below Wilshire and Linden.

I'm right below Wilshire and Linden.

I'm so sorry, Tai.

I'm sorry about your shoes.

I'm sorry.

I'm telling you, he's mean

I'm the messiah of the DMV.

I'm the tard here.

I'm tired.

I'm trying to make you as white as I can, Cher.

I've got an idea.

I've tried everything to convince him

If I could see

If I could stand

If I ever saw you do anything that wasn't 90% selfish,

If I fall, would you guys catch me?

If I'm too good for him,

If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have liked Elton.

If you decide to date a high school boy,

If you hadn't have been playing footsie,

If you need any help with anything.

If you've never experienced anything...

In a Pauly Shore movie.

In a place where I could gather my thoughts

In a stick of Carefree gum.

In America, we drive on the right side of the road.

In case he didn't already know.

In case he ever makes any.

In case you've never heard of that,