American Dad! (2005) - Season 2 Edit

A few weeks?

A princess and a criminal.

A summer camp.

A turd made of solid gold.

A whole new entrepreneurial thing that is gonna be the next big thing for Stan Smith.

Ach sorry. I'm kinda running out offish shtick.

Actually, she's more fan artist.

Actually, you might be surprised.

Ah, "chinema....

Ah, Steve, your first grope fest.

Ah, the death of the drive in. Harbinger of the slow demise of American cinema.

Ah, the joys of work.

Ah, yes. The rich kids, camp.

Ahh. Basil and snail poison.

All right, dude. Take it easy.

All right, I understand "kidnapped... but what is "Makeva...?

All the camps are full, so we,ll just make our own in the backyard.

All this talk of death is making me cremate.

All to save $10 a month?

All we have left is this one Cheerio.

Alright. Camp Refoogee...

Although here they probably celebrate Martin Luther King Day.

Amanda was drunk, of course, and she wasn't watching the pool.

Among them, Lieutenant Don Sharp.

And a touching speech, in which I reminisce about the time...

And actually turn it on now?

And all you cared about was her appearance.

And an athlete and a basket case...

And everyone in the Midwest through the rest ofthe,90s, "Don't go there....

And get you off the hook for your loans?

And I got it for a sweet 10 grand.

And I had a second tic tac.

And I once spent a sexually experimental weekend with Allen Ginsberg.

And I salute you.

And I wanted something heavy to bash my head in.

And I,m afraid to put anything metal in there.

And I,m Amanda Lane. I didn't take your name.

And I,m too drunk and they,re too dumb to channel it into art.

And I'm gonna check every buffet in town until I find her.

And I'm gonna die!

And ifwe win, we get the girl...

And it all started with that damn car!

And just let her eat all she wants.

And master of the con game, David Mamet.

And neither does my good friend Ben Franklin.

And quit now? No, I,ve got some really exciting things happening.

And scene.

And sealing it in this beautiful hope chest you made me.

And she likes reading old books by guys who died of syphilis.

And squeezing your exquisite back fat.

And the beautiful E! Entertainment Television T shirts.

And the frank eroticism of Rosie O,Donnell.

And then kick the mental ass of a certain car salesman.

And then some car salesman makes my brain his bitch!

And then someone in the crowd yells out, ',hat explains a lot....

And there's only one way to deal with these vicious rebels.

And this girl actually wants to spend time with you?

And using your left hand for toilet paper.

And vengeance is mine. In your face!

And we can't talk about it?

And you drove her away because of your stupid obsession with how people look.

And you wreen't, even trying?

And you'll be glad to know Debbie won, be around to upset you anymore.

And you're kinda perfect and scrumptious. What's your point?

And you're uncommonly strong.

And, besides, gardening's gay.

And, most dangerous ofall, climbing another net.

Anorexia will dry up your ovaries like tobacco in the sun.

Anyway, I,ve never felt that way before and I haven't since.

Apologies, General Ozomatli. That is my kaleidoscope.

Are you saying you would like me to clean the toilet?

Areyou gonna let them get away with that?

Art opening? Hell, I,ll go.

As you can imagine, it was a depressing plane ride home...

At dawn, I go down to the dealership, wait four hours until they open...

At home this summer!

At least, half of him did.

Aw, I bet that little girl they stole could,ve told me.

Be cautious. They are a fierce people who refuse to make peace.

Because this place is never gonna be a real summer camp.

Because you already paid for it!

Because you suck at jumping rope.

Being disgusting without you making fun of them.

Besides, Eddie, you,re all I need.

Besides, I freaking, hate economics.

Besides, that cracker box won't seem so bad when our grandkids come to visit.

Better to be scared half to death...

Blow up?

Bro! Bro! Bro! Bro!

But Camp Pocanda's got a lake.

But I don, wanna eat. I hate food.

But I don't know what to do.

But I I won the race for you.

But I'm still kinda holding out hope that we'll get back together.

But if you hold it up to your eye, it looks like you,re having a bagel.

But it's not that you're too fat.

But now now we can go to Boca.

But once I nail it, it's gonna take off like a rocket.

But our drama teacher finally got sober, thank God.

But perhaps an equally valid preparation for adulthood...

But then my book started selling, and they changed that tune right quick.

But these girls are Mrs. Right Here.

But we think you're crazytomake us write an essaytellingyou who we think weare.

But we,d love to do this again, say, next weekend?

But what are we gonna do for money?

But what is inside you.

But what we found out is that each one ofus is a brain...

But you,re married to Professor Jordan Edelstein, Ph. D., and he fancies a dinner party.

Buying canned salmon for her puss puss.

Buyout don, know you're cheating on me yet, so I forgive you.

By the way, this kind of fun isn't free.

Camp Bawango? Oh, it's a panty raid!

Camp T shirts!

Can I offer you something to drink? Half a can of Tab? Rain water?

Can't you get an idea without saying it out loud?

Candy.

Check it out.

Chicken pot pie! My favorite!

Chinese fire drill! Ah, we're having, fun.

Clean out your desk and leave immediately!

Coffee... maker!

Come on, Professor.

Come on. It's fine. It's fine, Mom. Just do it. Go.

Come on. She's a cheerleader. And a real one, not one of those fat jobs...

Congratulations. You just lost an arm.

Correction. It's your new pre owned car...

Cracked the glass ceiling with her beautiful straightened hair.

Dad, for the last time, you were not in Boyz II Men

Dad, for the millionth time, I don't wanna go to summer camp.

Dad, get me out of here.

Dad, I don't wanna go to camp.

Dad, I have a confession about Debbie

Dad, no matter what you do, I,ll never have your camp experience...

Dad, that's awful. Plus size women drive our economy...

Dad, these are your campers. They,re rallying around you.

Dad, they just kidnapped Makeva!

Dad, we've done some research, and we think you're anorexic.

Dad, what's going on?

Dad, you have to help me get Makeva back.

Dad, you're not fat. Besides, how could we sabotage your veggies?

Dad! Mmm!

Dad.

Damn it, Roger! Lock the door!

Damn it!

Damn this city!

Damn! I can't even exit mysteriously anymore.

Debbie was the best thing that ever happened to me...

Delusional? I'm not delusional.

Did you break my coffeemaker?

Did you say camp? Is there anyway you can get my kid in this camp?

Didn't copyright it. Lost millions.

Die, calories! Die!

Dinner and a show. Thank you, Sherry.

Discussing economics with the economics people.

Do you want your grandchildren to be half fat, Francine? Is that it?

Does that answer your question?

Don, do it, bro. You're a fatty.

Don, get mad at me. It's called makeup.

Don, sweat it. I've got a few tricks I can teach you.

Don, waste time asking questions when you should be rocking, it.

Don't move, Steve. Just give,em your credit card and we,ll cancel it when we get home.

Don't think of Tommy Bennett.

Don't worry, honey. No car salesman is gonna get the better of me.

Don't, uh Don't know.

Don'tyou dare patronize me! Amy! Amy!

Doyou have any idea what that's like? Doyou?

Doyou think maybe the baby couldn't have drowned in the pool?

Dude, it's okay. She,ll come around.

E! Entertainment? This sucks. I wanna go home.

Eh, I don't really care. You owe me 32.50.

Elburroporlos coffee.

Every man has a weakness. What is his?

Every man has a weakness. What is his?

Everyone is on the busses and ready to go.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Exercise is everywhere. See those kids?

Feets, don't explode on me now!

Fifteen bucks to see who's chasing Ashley Judd through the woods? Movies are dead.

Find something, Lieutenant?

Fine. Ifyou wanna waste your life with political science, go ahead.

First you go soft in the belly. Then you go soft in defense.

For what? You brought fat into our house.

For your information, she said she thinks I'm cute.

Forget me, big, beautiful creature!

Four, three, two, one!

Francine, there's a lot of math man math

Francine, what a nice surprise!

Francine, with today's low helium prices, we,d be crazy not to buy.

Frankly, it was a mess...

Get something out of it? Cars?

Get up, Smith!

Get up, Steve!

Giant bumblebees! They,ve come at last!

Go ahead Overexercise all you want.

Go to hell!

God, I don't remember the last time I felt so good!

God, I,d love to bend Rosie O,Donnell over a buffet table...

God, it's great to win again! Oh! I still got it, honey!

God, look at me. I'm hideous.

God, you sound just like your mother.

Good bye, Debbie. I'm getting rid of everything that reminds me of you...

Good God, it's true!

Good news, everyone. I'm in love.

Good news. I found a camp that still has an opening.

Good! Then get in there.

Got it!

Gotta get to Debbie's house.

Great as in great big fatso. You know, this is how it starts, Francine.

Great! Let's have,em over for shabbas.

Great. And you should be receiving your first issue of Essence in six to eight weeks.

Great. Thanks to your gassing on...

Guys, I can explain. I was lying to you.

Guys, there's a lion. Guys? Lion.

Ha. Just an old nickel, Chris.

Hand me those rolls.

Handsome, fit, the whole package.

Has anybody seen a Care Bears towel?

Has been designed to push each of you to the limit.

Has been designed to push each of you to the limit.

Hayley, are you wearing makeup? You look like a whore.

He had a yacht... and a backbone.

He just moved the food.

He justifies his existence by mixing a passable cocktail.

He made it through the bulkhead before it was closed.

He never cleaned his plate. He just moved the food.

He spent 16 months training me in the art of mental manipulation...

He will take back these cars, and I will take back my pride.

He's got a wedding ring, but his shirt doesn't match his pants...

He's with some tents. It's fine.

Hello? Anyone home?

Hello. Stan Smith, American, 32 inch vertical leap.

Hells, yeah. Now drop and give me a thousand!

Here he comes. Remember, we have to do whatever we can...

Here to repo the cars.

Here we are. Oh, lucky you.

Here, have a Little Debbie.

Hey bro. I couldn't,help noticing you're kinda fat and pathetic.

Hey, Algernon, what's wrong with you?

Hey, champ. Camp love can be tough, huh?

Hey, Steve, you know the good thing about first love?

Hey, take the panties, leave the girl!

Hey, that's our plane.

Hey, we should go to the beach

Hey, what are you doing with my dad's movie projector?

Hey, who's up for some ice cream? Huh? Hayley? Ice cream?

Hey, you know how we were talking about getting me a new car?

Hey, you should plant some of those, uh

Hey, you,ve got one of the C.I.A.'s top negotiators on your side.

Hi. Uh, reservations for two under "Roget....

His name is Achmed al Paula Abdul al Paul Anka al Casey Kasem bin Shakira.

His teeth are yellow, so he's a smoker.

His teeth are yellow, so he's a smoker.

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hot Rod, Skittles, Brooklyn Pete...

How can you all gorge yourselves on roast beef while refugees starve?

How can you be so cruel?

How could I forget you, my good time gal?

How could you send Steve off to some camp you know nothing about?

How would you know? You got your camp love.

I I can't help myself. I,m terrible.

I I meant, a pretty younger girl.

I am Judy.

I am Wobuto Kowonga Komali.

I am. I am. So, question one

I asked, like, five times. I don, know if this is your station.

I cleaned strangers, toilets.

I completely missed why Mr. Belvedere is stomping on his hat.

I do the same thing.

I don, care if she was fat or thin.

I don, know. He's not even looking.

I don't know what you call them here Hitler melons.

I don't know what you,re talking about.

I don't wanna live!

I don't want your camp experience, okay?

I dropped you on your head as an infant.

I find role playing helps me cope with the soul crushing boredom around this place.

I got this college professor character I,ve been dying, to try out.

I guess about that.

I guess. But mostly I like her because she's so unusual and fascinating.

I had a real connection with someone for the first time in my life...

I had everything! A family! A great job! You took it all from me.

I had to act fast or this other guy was totally gonna buy it.

I hate running.

I hate the last day of camp. You better write me when you get home, H. Rod.

I have no choice but to suspend you until you deal with your weight problem.

I have to say, not that bad.

I haven, actually asked her out yet.

I hope all you blubber loving Judases are happy.

I just don, think I can give you the time you need.

I just fished a dead hooker out ofthe canal.

I just got suspended because I'm in such bad shape.

I just wanna go home and never think about stupid camp again.

I killed my best friend. And for what?

I know what a coffee maker is. We weren't even in the kitchen.

I know, I know. But she won, wear makeup.

I know. I'm a huge tub of lard.

I lost out on becoming a man.

I loved Amy Bennett, but the part I didn't tell you was...

I missed you too.

I need to stick to the Z man's plan.

I played sports, I wrote cheers.

I promised my Mr. Belvedere chat group...

I remember the year,cause Amanda and I had just seen Old Gringo..

I said economics. It's been established.

I should have failed the hell out of that class. That's how good I am.

I shouldn, be here, veronica.

I spent my summers at camp, and I had the time of my life.

I still have five minutes left.

I still remember my first camp love, Tommy Bennett.

I still want to get the wives together.

I think he went this way! Come on!

I think I gained the African 20.

I think I got a bad case of... full moon fever!

I think you call it 'Luck Bear" because he had a clover on his chest.

I thought we were friends!

I told you I wanted the Fem wagon. This is the Phallus.

I told you, I don't study economics. I,m a political scientist.

I told you. Here at school, you call me Coach, dip wad!

I wanna run, Dad. It's my girl, my race.

I want him to have that same experience.

I want to brush your hair.

I wanted to have another child, but her uterus was polluted from all the syphilis.

I was just fine until you all decided to teach me a lesson by scheming against me.

I was making my own experience, and you ruined it. Makeva!

I was not expecting that. Touche, rich kids.

I was the first one to rhyme "Ooh, ungawa... with "powa....

I was thinking we,ve been married about 17 years.

I wear a trucker cap, and I can mold you...

I went to Nepal to see my sensei, but it turned out to be a bad weekend

I will never talk. Never!

I would humiliate you and Felix's alpha male need to impress his family...

I wouldn't have taken care of myself in the bathtub.

I, for one, am going to spend my short time here outside helping those poor people.

I,ll call you Hot Rod

I,ll get us some tea. It,ll calm us down.

I,ll give you $5.00 for all of them.

I,ll have you know James Coburn had a garden.

I,ll set you up with that Fem wagon. I,ll even knock off 10 bucks a month.

I,m Amanda, and this is my husband,Jordan.

I,m going someplace where I won't bring shame to this house!

I,m going with you.

I,m gonna need checks from all your parents.

I,m home.

I,m just saying to the attractive girl that you used to look good...

I,m know. Because I,m an idiot. My sensei would be disgusted.

I,m not an idiot, Francine. I have a receipt and a tracking number.

I,m not worthy to be the head of this family. I,m leaving

I,m proud of you, Son. All of Camp Refoogee is behind you.

I,m right in the middle of trying to get the toaster to pop...

I,m selling candy to raise money so my soccer team can get new uniforms. Will you help us?

I,m sick of your lies about Coburn!

I,m sorry, Eddie.

I,m sorry, Steve, but I,m kind ofa crazy chick.

I,m sorry. You shouldn't have to listen to my complaints. It's not like you could relate.

I,ve always been a good cop, and I,m going out a good cop.

I'd post a summary of this episode by 6:00.

I'll do anything to look like you. When can we start?

I'll have some of that decorative parsley.

I'm glad you're better, Dad, but I miss Debbie.

I'm gonna walk past the Strongman and sniff it a little.

I'm so glad you asked me out. This is my favorite spot.

I'm watching you two.

I'm watching you two.

I've become one of them.

If he saw me and you making, out.

If I could just hold a refugee's hand and look them in the eye, they,ll know someone cares.

If I,m living in a storage unit so he can buy 20 cars, I,m gonna get something out of it.

If only I could make you see.

In a few weeks, I'll be a regular Debbie.

In detention for whatever it was we did wrong.

In the simplest terms, the most convenient definitions.

In the words of every sitcom character in the early,90s...

Initial, initial and signature.

Inside... and outside.

Into a dude who won, send the ladies puking.

Involved in a car purchase that Damn it!

Is there anything more magical than movies?

It doesn't say "Refoogee.... It says "Refugee....

It doesn't, matter to me.

It It had Luck Bear on the front.

It just sucks, you know?

It sucks we put our dead in the earth where we can, watch them decompose.

It,ll be like Meatballs. I,ll be Bill Murray and you,ll be that kid that no one remembers.

It'll be nice to have a pretty girl around the house for a change.

It's It's putting bad thoughts in our heads.

It's a mistake is what it is.

It's gonna be okay, Dad.

It's good to be back.

It's good to have you back, Stan.

It's good to see he's finally happy.

It's hot, and there's always something crawling in your sleeping bag...

It's just, you know, this is a really bad time for me.

It's like having the world's biggest wine cooler and no girls from New Jersey.

It's like my wife doesn't even care anymore.

It's like she's jealous of my work as chief bomb maker at Arabs for Chaos.

It's like she's no longer the woman I traded goats for, you know?

It's no use, C.I.A. man.

It's no use, C.I.A. man.

It's okay. I'm a licensed chiropractor or something.

It's so romantic.

It's such an intense experience...

It's the first of many.

It's this... thing.

It's usually the result ofajarring event.

It's worse than we thought.

It's.. beautiful What do you think it is?

Ja your suit is stuffed tighter than, um...

Janet, when's my next appointment?

Just a minute!

Just an old nickel.

Just let me tend to my posies!

Just like I call fat people ',iny.... So start over,jumpy tiny.

Just like the rest ofthe world.

Just so we,re clear, you will not return home from Africa without my son.

Just three words of advice: Hall & Oates. Chicks dig,em.

Keeps them crisp. Great in the summer.

Klaus, prepare to feast your eyes...

La toilet. La toilet! No espoo poo.

Leave it to me, sir. I,ll crack him faster than Condoleezza Rice...

Let me walk you through.

Let the games begin!

Let's discuss healthier ways to get back at Daddy.

Liars! You were sabotaging my veggies to keep me fat.

Like a spider or a counselor.

Like marrying a black dude.

Like winning the Grammy for Best R&B Performance, Duo or Group.

Little kids? Would a little kid have a $50 watch he bought with good boy points?

Long live TV!

Look at them, scurrying around like ants.

Look, it's a legitimate place. It's called "Camp Refoogee....

Look, my boyfriend and I just broke up..

Look, the Bawango rebels ruined our camp and took one of your campers.

Look, the U.N. is here. I,m gonna go ask them how I can help.

Look, why don't we go back to my office, call the bank...

Look. it's Jenny Bowen. She's got the body of Lara Croft...

Looks like Smith weaseled out of gym class again, Dad.

Lorderedanairdrop from the CIA. We'rein desperate need of supplies.

Make me another drink,Jordan.

Make peace! Chris Make peace.

Makeva!Dinner!

Mandy, a moment?

Mm hmm. Our old rivals.

Mm hmm. Pretty fit, tight.

Mm.

Mmm.

Mom, Debbie's gonna be here any minute.

More refreshing than a Popsicle.

Mr. Tether ball!

My boy is wicked hygienic.

My dad wasn't around to teach me any different.

My films! Oh, gimme, gimme, gimme!

My key stats: I.Q 140, nearsighted...

My plan worked perfectly.

My son is dating a hot actress.

My stars! Who is that enchanting Rubenesque vision?

My wife and I haven't been getting along for quite some time now.

Name's Zack. I'm a personal trainer.

Neither was mine.

Next thing you know, you're wearing a towel on your head...

No can do. Somehow I've gotten even heavier.

No ifs, no buts, no coconuts.

No, Hayley. No, put it over here.

No, it's the Phallus E.S. Felix said it was the last one on the lot.

No, no, Debbie. This breakup has nothing to do with my dad at all.

No, you earn't,. You're just suffering from a delusional state.

No, you left the gate open, and she sank like a stone.

No!

No!

No! No!

No! Steve!

No!I don't,have a weight problem!

No!No! No espoo poo!

No.

No. No, Amy Bennett. Why would I say Tommy?

No. They are the ones who destroyed our village and forced us here.

No. Tomorrow, I,m just gonna turn it in and face the music.

No. What? No, they,re tether balls. Oh, and look at this.

Not at all. Life is a banquet.

Not to pat myself on the back, but we,re ahead of schedule. I thought it would take two years.

Now even my boss says I have a weight problem.

Now everyone just sits at home. Now it's all TV, TV, TV!

Now let's rock it up a bump, "Chunky... Brewster.

Now, instead of starving yourselves...

Now, now. I I know in high school, in the showers with the other girls...

Now, that lamp there we bought back in,89.

Now, who you gonna be? And it's crucial that it be organic to my professor character.

Of course I haven't lost my confidence because a car salesman bested me eight times.

Of course I'll like her. After all, she's your girlfriend.

Of course she's fascinating. She's gorgeous.

Of course, none of this should be any problem for a fit agent.

Ofall the buffets, Steve's at this one?

Oh, and then there's camp love.

Oh, boy, I,m not feeling so good. I,m sweaty, queasy.

Oh, boy! The circus is coming to town.

Oh, come on. It,ll help you pull your head out ofthe oven

Oh, come on. Why does it always have to be a racial thing with you blacks?

Oh, don't worry about it. I,m... having fun. I,m having fun.

Oh, from your high school principal.

Oh, go read The Bell Jar, you poser!

Oh, if I had known you were gonna be home so early...

Oh, is that what this is about? Look, you're better off.

Oh, it's my new hard boiled P.I. character.

Oh, lalsohada collapsible cup.

Oh, look. Miss Pinkerton fainted at the market...

Oh, man, you better run!

Oh, man! Another spot on my tie.

Oh, man. It is so on. You just found your camp love.

Oh, my Debbie.

Oh, my God! A movie projector!

Oh, my God! He did it to me again!

Oh, my God! We,re a broken home!

Oh, my God. That's my ex boyfriend.

Oh, right. I guess I don't like thinking about your horrible situation.

Oh, Roger, I,m just feeling lonely without Steve.

Oh, thank God. I thought you were gonna tell me she isn't, a cheerleader.

Oh, that seems a bit excessive.

Oh, that's you. Steve.

Oh, um, I, um

Oh, wait, wait. Let me just get the stuff out of my left pocket.

Oh, yeah! Details published part of my letter

Oh, yeah. Worst case of female pattern baldness the doctor's ever seen.

Oh, yes, right. Right. Thanks, fellas.

Oh, you,re right. You,re right.

Oh, your days of pole wrapping are through, sir.

Oh, your diet is making you paranoid, Stan

Oh, Zack really kicked my ass at the gym today.

Oh! And just like that, I'm back!

Oh! Here comes your girl. Get ready for your victory kiss.

Oh! Whose foot is that? Paddington Bear, you randy bastard.

Oh.

Oh. Okay, baby. Well, let's get busy.

Oh. Okay.

Ohh!

Ohh!

Okay, according to my Timex watch..

Okay, Bono. Settle down.

Okay, but the plane leaves in 30 minutes

Okay, campers, time for the swim tests, so just jump right in.

Okay, remember, I,m Professor Jordan Edelstein.

Okay, so here's a passport, $1,000 and the names of all our operatives.

Okay, so we'll split the olive. You have the radish.

On a clear night, this one gets Radio Disney. Why did I say that?

On the majestic grandeur of the silver screen.

Once he finds his confidence, he,ll be right back here.

One day, she might even take the Smith name.

One tent, please. He was also in MyBodyguard Terrific film.

One week to retirement, I risk my pension by stealing evidence?

Ooh. Probably shouldn't have told you that.

Oop! Time for my workout.

Open your mouth, lead with the tongue

Or even one with Kirsten Dunst teeth...

People, listen up. I,ve got great news.

Perfect. And I,m the head ofthe political science department at Harvard, thank you very much.

Perhaps the answer is not what is inside the pie...

Pinker than that.

Please, Francine, show some panic. Our son is dating a fatty.

Please, Francine, show some panic. Our son is dating a fatty.

Plugged in the groceries by some hopped up dope fiend?

Political science? You should be an economics professor.

Porky's?Meatballs II? Enjoy your crapfest.

Potential barbells. Now rock me two "hundy...!

Pound it! This is the real thing, Steve.

Preaching to the mosque, Achmed. Preaching to the mosque.

Pretending? You put us through all this on purpose?

Purple napkins, a make your own crepe station...

Rassan Bikila Mossi.

Ready? There it is.

Right on time.

Ring the bell ifyou win the camp Olympics.

Roger, this package came for you.

Roger, what areyou talking about?

Seriously, I threw away more food than I ate.

Shame on you!

She broke my heart.

She didn't love me back.

She played Lady Macbeth in our school production of Oklahoma.

She smells like a glue stick, she shares my interest in bug zappers...

She smells people food. Don, worry.

She was sweet and beautiful and kinda freaky in a good way.

She'll probably just rummage around in the refrigerator and then retreat back to her lair.

She's carrying a purse. She must have a map to Debbie in her purse.

She's carrying a purse. She must have a map to Debbie in her purse.

She's like a female Mr. Belvedere.

Shh! keep yuor voice down. We,re at the club.

Shh.

Shut up and help me count!

Shutyour hole, crazy broad. I had to call that poor dead girl's parents.

Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.

Smith, I told you to interrogate that prisoner an hour ago.

Smith, until you get your head in the game, I,m suspending you without pay.

So he couldn't give me the mind control techniques I so desperately needed

So how,d you get over Amy?

So I'll apologize to Steve.

So it's settled. Be sure to write.

So keep your hand on your wallet. I,m sorry. I,m sorry.

So she lies. Great. That's how you know she doesn't, have a penis.

So she's an actress. Attaboy!

So then I said, "What the hell. I'm on vacation....

So this is a refugee camp.

So, I,m going to the camp dance tonight. Maybe I,ll see you there.

So, what are we panicking about? Is there another new pope?

So, what do you think of your new car? Do you love it?

So, what's this Debbie's affiliation?

Some funny German word.

Son of a bitch! He mind ****d me!

Soon she'll be mine. Debbie!

Sorry about this mess, Klaus.

Sorry. All our tents have been donated. We,re shipping them offto some camp.

Sorry. We only date guys with cars.

Spark Plug, Riuniti, Whitey

Speaking, of back rubs, you look like you could use a rub a dub dub.

Stan, he doesn't wanna go to camp.

Stan, please, you,re not

Stan, there's no one there. Who are you talking to?

Stan, you have to come home. We,re totally broke.

Stan, you return.

Stan, you scared me half to death.

Stan, you're being ridiculous. We have a guest out there.

Stan, you've been working out for three weeks. You look great.

Stan, your family's in bad shape here. Let me help you.

Stan! You startled us.

Stan?

Stan? What are you doing here?

Steak, medium. A little pink in the middle.

Steve, camp is an amazing place.

Steve, I'm going to motivate you...

Steve, please look at these camp brochures.

Steve, what are you doing here?

Steve, what's wrong? What about the word "regular... set you off?

Steve, whether you wanna date a fatso, a girl with hairy arms...

Steve! Come with me if you wanna live!

Steve! Steve!

Steve? Francine? Hayley? Oh, I asked you already. Can't remember what you said.

Steve's right. It's me that's been ugly.

Stevie, bombaye!

Stevie, bombaye!

Stop it. You're not fat.

Stupid camp? No. No, camp is good.

Syphilis! Ooh, la, la!

Tell the kids about all the economics conventions you attend...

Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda.

Than to death half... scared... be... to.

Thank God we,re going home.

Thank you, veronica, you fat bitch.

Thanks for letting me interview you...

Thanks, Dad. Camp was awesome!

Thanks, guys. But we were just wondering, why didn't you try anything?

That engorge the carrion with sulfur dioxide gas

That horseshoe pit's really coming along there What's his name?

That should be me handling your folds...

That was one exhausting workout.

That was so fun. I wish it didn't have to end.

That was the kid from Meatballs. Thank you.

That's been in there for days.

That's fine, ,cause you converted for me.

That's gotta be good for business. She trips,em on the playground...

That's great, Stan. can't we stop staring at your reflection in the TV...

That's how I kissed Amy Bennett at camp.

That's it! Steve, you,re not gonna miss out on camp after all

That's one impressive man.

That's ridiculous. Look at me.

That's right, baby. Enjoy it.

That's right, car salesman. How does it feel to have fallen into my trap?

That's right. Oh, well, too late now.

That's so unfair, Dad. Overweight people have it hard enough...

That's what drive ins are for. Getting down and dirty.

The best your pension will buy us is some crappy little cracker box on the eastern shore.

The bills will be dealt with. But now I rest.

The collar will sense your stress level and blow up

The Fem wagon. It's a little pricey.

The fourth guy I should,ve married instead of Jordan...

The Ghost busters box set just came out.

The girl who loves to go to the market is now back on it.

The grand images, the big stars. Where did they go?

The handcuffs around his wrists mean he's in some sort of trouble.

The haunted look in his eyes suggest that he doesn't know...

The Internet is not going to be happy.

The kids need a father, and I have this jar I can't open.

The movie's over, you little pervert.

The one time I invite the fish up here for drinks.

The pouty good looks of Resident Evil's Jill valentine...

The same way the C.I.A. motivates its assassins...

The score is tied leading into the final event, the footrace.

The sooner it's out ofour lives the better.

The sweet smell of summer.

The thing is, I really like Debbie, but I keep chickening out.

Their leader, Ozomatli, is a cruel man.

Then sends,em your way for bandaging.

Then we're on the same page. Welcome to my sanctuary.

There. If you don, ask Debbie out in 24 hours...

There's no hitting at Camp Refoogee.

There's sun, sand. It's like Arizona.

Therefore, it was only a matter of time before we would all meet...

These are mean streets we live on. Streetssoakedwithblood

These car payment bills are really starting to pile up, Stan.

They cleared out the garage to make room for Stan's stupid cars.

They They want me to get fat like that girl...

They,ll give us boo boos on our feelings.

They,re onto us, Cand.

They're right, Stan. You've let yourself go.

They're so... happy together.

This is all your fault.

This isn't you. This isn't us.

This latest billion dollar obstacle course...

This necklace has a tooth from the snake I killed.

This'll fatten him up.

Those girls will never talk to us.

Those losers are pretty punctual.

To get him to eat as much as possible.

Today is track.

Turkey pot pie

Turkey pot pie or chicken pot pie?

Uh, hi. Still waiting for bread sticks.

Uh, how much you weigh, Candy? A hundred, we figure. Maybe 105?

Uh, lost my confidence because a car salesman bested me eight times?

Um Oh, how about a professor's wife?

Um, what?

Uncle Stan, it's the Bawango!

Until l realized I was sitting next to the foulmouthed playwright...

Until these pounds start coming off...

Until they think you're "getting better....

Until you,re fondly reminiscing as a 35 year old homosexual.

Varsity cheerleader or regular cheerleader?

Wah wahhh!

Wait a second! I have a TV!

Wait! There's no movies!

Wait! Wait!

Was Bradford Dorne III.

Was he recently cut from the cheer leading squad?

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday...

We decided that the whole going crazy shtick was the best way to handle Felix.

We don't have homes. The rebels destroyed everything.

We found your food graveyard.

We get the girl, and the refugees get their land back.

We got a special request dedication from Skittles to Little Oprah.

We have Grey's Anatomy on Season Pass, yes?

We just moved to Langley Falls. Rick's a pediatrician, and I teach first grade.

We knew that if l bought a blimp and then abandoned my impoverished family...

We knew that if l bought a blimp and then abandoned my impoverished family...

We must find out who he works for.

We never go in the water. It is too close to the Bawango rebel camp.

We sold it to him for 7,000.

We We could have tried something?

We were at Lake Geneva. I was receiving an award for my work in

We were supposed to go to an art opening tomorrow.

We were there while Jordan was doing research for his economics dissertation.

We,re staying for a few weeks and turning this place into a summer camp.

We,re turning this hot, dusty wasteland into what it should,ve been all along: