American Dad! - Season 8 Edit

A baby...

A bicyc quow.

A big deal about it, I'll call somebody else, okay?

A Canadian quarter?

A catastrophe in the end would certainly clear things up.

A chic lounge environment for young professionals.

A cigar!

A colorful immigrant.

A country drive.

A dance for me and my friends!

A doodle doodle doodle doo! A doodle doodle doodle dee!

A family coming together to save their matriarch.

A friendship bracelet around your mom's fat ass wrist.

A gentleman in the streets,

A good time to tell you this:

A guy punched me in my face,

A hassle?!

A hay penny for your troubles.

A honk's the angriest sound a car can make.

A horn... or a honking.

A horn... or a honking.

A huge celebration to honor you.

A hundred boxes of Sudafed.

A Hyundai?

A Japanese person might be into.

A journey of several days through treacherous jungle.

A junior suite.

A kind stranger to buy us liquor

A little kinky.

A little too lame.

A little.

A man needs to hang out with other people

A massive attack on the Eastern seaboard.

A merciless demon with an unquenchable...

A million dollars and worldwide recognition.

A photo of us, and under the subject,

A protégé should never have to shoot his mentor in the head

A real alien?

A simple garden hose covered in hot sauce!

A stack of Baby Gap catalogs,

A start.

A suicidal lemur's got my gun!

A terrible gift to an incredible actor.

A very important purpose on this ship.

A volcano can never hurt you.

A war criminal who's been in hiding for years.

A what? A bicycle.

Aah, all right, ow!

Aah, I can't remember our Amazon password.

Aah, it makes me too nervous.

Aah, just want to burrow into you like a love tick.

Aah, my ear! Ow!

Aah, too late!

Aah, too late!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! No! Hayley!

Aah! You clipped me, bro!

Abigail Lemonparty, would you like to go with me

Abigail. Abigail Lemonparty.

About Black Villain's whereabouts that I do is..

About it, and all the awkwardness will go away

About killinmyself pretty frequently.

About the grief it caused her. (wry chuckle)

About this deal I'm offering you.

About to extend three of its fingers

Absolutely not!

According to my measurements,

Acting.

Actually if you could get the smoothies,

Actually, I agree with my dad.

Actually, I I was thinking maybe we could take the scenic route.

Actually, I wouldn't have finished.

Actually, she's with me.

Actually, Snotters, I've got a guy

Actually, the president is dead,

Actually, we prefer to be called "actors" now, as well.

Adult Baby Franny, 35 years ago, fireman Henry Watkins

After all I've been through,

After all I've done for you?

After all the money we've let him spend on us,

After all this time, I never get tired of telling our story.

After all, it was you

After doing some research on Frank,

After every time you blow your nose?

After having all those tattoos removed.

After leaping head first into that dry well.

After seeing The Help.

After Tearjerker escaped the volcano,

After the film Show Me the Money,

After trying something that felt great at the time,

After you borrowed it?

Against love.

Agent Crisp, I'm sorry, but Bullock's fine.

Agent Smith, the world needs your help again.

Agent Stan Smith, can I speak to you in private?

Agent Stan Smith.

Ah choo!

Ah, damn it, my only blue suit.

Ah, I'm so sorry to involve you in this.

Ah, it's okay, Mrs. S.

Ah, Josh's replacement. Welcome aboard.

Ah, nothing like a nice movie night

Ah, Smith, glad you could join me.

Ah, Smith, welcome.

Ah, that fart really calmed me down.

Ah, that's my sister!

Ah, this is great.

Ah, well, there's the difference then.

Ah, who did this?

Ah, yes, you were quite drunk.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! Francine! Ow!

Ah... ah...

Ahh, that is nice.

Ahh, this line blows.

Ahoy, Stan.

Ain't never done nothing good for nobody.

Air guitar is aerobic, encourages coordination,

Akiko blew me off.

Akiko needs this more than I do.

Akiko will be there to crush him.

Akiko Yoshida

Akiko, you are still in the competition.

Akiko, your word is "A."

AKIKO: Trouble sleeping?

Akiko!

Akiko?

ALL (chanting): Habet Bullock cultro.

All good to go there.

All I find is cheese, and beef,

All I have to do now is tell them where to pick me up.

All I need is you.

All I want to do is lay here with you.

All I want to do is lay here with you.

All made up just to keep us apart

All of my knowledge and wisdom.

All of our savings.

All of them.

All of them...

All original parts.

All right then, I'm off to the kitchen

All right, all right, how about this?

All right, all right, I'll tell you

All right, donuts,

All right, everybody out of the car.

All right, honey.

All right, I'll tell her you asked about her.

All right, lads, now that we're in the air,

All right, let's get cooking.

All right, rest up; we'll do it again in a minute.

All right, sir, I said you could try three nipples

All right, Smith, off you go.

All right, so if I'm gonna live here

All right, Stan.

All right, that should do the trick.

All right, then, I'm gonna pack up.

All right, this is enough

All right, well, fantastic, then.

All right, well, there's extra in there

All right, whew.

All right!

All right. Yeah.

All that money is now hers!

All the great things I've done with my life.

All the same to me.

All the slaves serve

All the time, sir.

All the way downtown,

All the way in.

All the way.

All these memories...

All these years we'll never get back.

All these years, I blamed my father

All this stuff is.

All those memories.

All we saw were examples of you

All you have to do is float around all day,

ALL: ♪ You've got a kink

ALL: ♪ You've got a kink

ALL: Aw...

ALL: Baby Franny!

ALL: Boy Bomb!

ALL: Denied.

ALL: Max.

ALL: What?

ALL: What?

ALL: What?!

ALL: Whoa!

ALL: Yeah!

ALL: Yeah!

ALL: Yes! We're rich!

Allow me to explain...

Almost doing something completely crazy.

Almost push the Bs out front.

Alone.

Alone.

Although I won my battle with breast cancer,

Always go along with this Max Jets charade.

Always make sure the tops up before you clean the windows.

Always trying to get your mom turned on.

Am humanity's last hope for survi...

Am I beast or man?

Am I drunk? What's in this cake?

Am I out of my mind...

Am, too!

Amateurs.

Amazing!

Amen.

Among his belongings were a hot plate,

An aggressive staph infection

An overwhelming realization washed over me that Jeff...

And 12 American Dad episodes

And a good day to you, sir.

And a stack of Spanish language quinceañera cards?

And all my friends were there.

And all of a sudden it was like ba bow!

And all of the existing fuel converters destroyed

And almost ****d.

And Angela.

And as you can see, Milbrook is fine.

And as you know, both of those things

And be known as the guy

And beat the crap out of me, right?

And begin our life together anew!

And buy you a book on dealing blackjack.

And change the world.

And coaxes a pretty good amount of laughter out of the two of us

And come up with zero good ideas.

And cucumber, and pickle and mayonnaise.

And deliver the clean script to Hollywood.

And did you just pick up a remote?

And displays them for all to see.

And Dom's tongue explores Brian's mouth."

And don't skimp on the tahini.

And don't worry, Roger will be out of you soon.

And eat all the fruit leather which you claim to hate.

And every one's been a disaster.

And finally acceptance.

And finger, finger, finger, finger, finger.

And flowers?

And for once in our lives,

And from Maryland, Akiko Yoshida

And gay drifters rule the showers.

And get away from his wife because it's boring.

And give Stan one hell of a shocker.

And go right on to depression. Hayley!

And has been loyal to the very end.

And he always covers his mouth when he sneezes.

And he and I are spending our vacation reconnecting,

And he better not show up

And he came back with tacos instead.

And he came to my party!

And he didn't want me hanging out with Snot,

And he has the emotional availability of Tom Hanks

And he kept calling fouls like a bitch.

And he loves showering this family with gifts and cash.

And he never invented any fuel conversion technology.

And he thinks I'm his imaginary friend,

And he'll realize he's been married

And he's a 42 year old man.

And he's a great lover.

And he's a nobody!

And he's in the body of a goldfish.

And he's the only man I ever wanted.

And help me pull in these traps!

And here she is now

And hid him in some apartment in Lanceton.

And his arch nemesis, fraternity prankster, Machmud Thikbooti.

And his friend.

And how dare you betray me like...

And how did Max die without you dying?

And how!

And I accept that now.

And I am going to enjoy watching you live as a fish.

And I can rub it in that Kabuki whore's porcelain face.

And I don't want to be scared anymore!

And I don't want to waste these tears,

And I forgive you.

And I guess he didn't want to wait for me.

And I had gotten her headband order

And I just turned 42.

And I just want to spend my money

And I just want to swim.

And I killed a man!

And I know you don't really have one

And I promised my wife I wouldn't work.

And I realized something

And I think it's time you did, too.

And I told you I'm not comfortable asking.

And I vow to find you a new body

And I want my best man on it.

And I want to exchange it for the six dollar one.

And I want us to go, but...

And I went to Express Men and bought a ton of hot boy clothes.

And I will weep for those people

And I won't county on my father ever again.

And I'd rather be dead than no longer a part of your family!

And I'd usually fall asleep on the pot.

And I'll do what I want with it.

And I'll give you five solid reasons why.

And I'll need you to kill my wife.

And I'll quit smoking.

And I'm done with him.

And I'm getting married.

And I'm going to use that turn...

And I'm gonna destroy the girl who destroyed me.

And I'm gonna get you there.

And I'm gonna help you.

And I'm gonna show you off.

And I'm not alone.

And I'm not saying she's not, but...

And I'm not settling for a penny less.

And I'm on a ton of meth,

And I'm serious about the underwear.

And I've eaten everything in the house.

And I've known nine.

And I've never been with a human before.

And if I can't male it with you, then

And if Steve does make it to Nationals,

And if this goes well,

And in order to protect my family, I'll have to kill him.

And is this your beautiful family?

And it couldn't be more convenient

And it devastated him so completely

And it looks like you still have your fortune.

And it makes me sad,

And it never will, but I get it.

And it reeks of marijuana in here.

And it shall whisk us away across this valley.

And it turns out that that little girl

And it was wrong of me to try and take something that special away from you.

And it will give us the additional lift that we need.

And it's a low paying government job.

And it's an extremely safe first car for your daughter.

And leave him everything in his will.

And let her know I've found my kink.

And let me do my work?

And let the water come right up to it.

And let you tell me where I am when I know exactly where I am!

And make sure you grill it...

And Mass Gap problem, nerds.

And may the best killer win.

And maybe even get off this ship.

And maybe, like, every now and then,

And mean to people in the service industry.

And meet me in the pumpkin carriage.

And millions have perished.

And money on the line,

And my moral compass always points south...

And my thought was I hate you.

And never shows about World War II.

And newspapers.

And no matter how much I love you,

And not to worry, Francine.

And nothing you do in your miserable life

And now he's in jail, where he belongs.

And now I need you to turn over on your side.

And now I want a sloppy joe

And now I'm giving it to you.

And now I'm going to turn on the water,

And now it's my turn again.

And now next week I'm supposed to tell everyone

And now one of you is going to leave this Earth

And now seeing this couple

And now that you know,

And now that you know, to protect this family,

And now the money's yours.

And now there are real consequences

And now to help us wake up the Majestic,

And now you're trapped in a bowl.

And now, I'm taking your shuttlecock.

And now, we return to Act Two.

And now, we're proud to present

And once you start to unrepress them,

And one day?

And one of the other boys was beaten to death

And one shoe.

And our houses lives right here in our very own Langley Falls.

And pretend that he's worked here for a while...

And put him up at the Four Seasons.

And put it towards a C.O.K. Guzzler.

And put one in the back of my head.

And receive the coveted shuttlecock ring.

And right here, that's the pot I want.

And she said she'd let me kiss her,

And she was all, "You told that to her face?"

And she worries for him.

And she'll start right up in, like, a second.

And she's never once said yes.

And so are you guys.

And so, Smiths, you have truly seen the message of Lent,

And some Botox for your super bumpy areolas.

And Stan Smith is just not like that!

And start a whole new life,

And start asking questions

And stop flipping channels before I wring the last breath

And switched his mind with a goldfish.

And thank you, Francine, for being here.

And that I'm not "worth her time."

And that is, if you want to please God,

And that makes up for the rest of the year.

And that starts now.

And that was three years ago so...

And that'll jog your memory,

And that's a trip.

And that's all that matters.

And that's okay because we fit together

And that's what Jeff and I have.

And that's why he won't let me show any good memories.

And that's why I insisted on signing this prenup.

And that's your happiness.

And the flying.

And the lemonade?

And the one thing I'll never forget about you Hayley is...

And the other one has a ton of bullets.

And the pretty boy with the gorgeous punim.

And the resort has so many activities!

And the sexy children who seduced them!

And then edit it down for the theaters.

And then he peed on me, too.

And then he stole my body.

And then I had to find my young boy assistant.

And then I said yes.

And then I'd leave the house and jog to the corner.

And then I'll reveal myself to him,

And then loses interest and realizes

And then she can be our line judge?

And then she had the nerve

And then somehow, he paid off the cop,

And then there's the performer in me

And then turned it into a kick ass social club

And then we'll chop your pinky off in two shakes.

And then what happened?

And then you came here and asked me

And then you got to live in your car for a while.

And then you'd have to go.

And then your guy won't want to fight you tomorrow.

And there he goes, everyone, right on cue!

And there he is.

And there he was, your invited guest.

And there I am!

And they all went to your Mardi Gras ball.

And they do way more dirty stuff than you do.

And they're all for anonymous sex.

And this is Boyz with Mouthz.

And this is for you.

And this is funny 'cause you're irresponsible.

And this is the TV room,

And this photo won't scare off any wang, either.

And to a prince, no less.

And to think we nearly did it.

And today's hole comes in the form of a well.

And together we are

And tomorrow we'll go job hunting.

And try to pass my enormous breakfast.

And turned me in for molesting my high school gym teacher.

And unbelievably generous lover.

And until you open your mind, I'm not coming home.

And we all split the inheritance money.

And we both know it!

And we can live happily ever after.

And we did it everywhere.

And we did it, like, all the time.

And we don't have anything to change into.

And we got everything we need

And we just really hit it off.

And we'll really follow through this time.

And we'll take a basket of your free est bread.

And we're all gonna stick with it this time, right, guys?

And what a way to go!

And what are maggots if not wingless bees?

And what my life is all about

And what's my distraction from your boring stories?

And what's worse is you tricked me

And when buying stuff didn't cure what ailed him,

And when that puzzle is complete..."

And when you fail the emperor's test,

And while I was in the void

And while you're at it, bring us all the menus.

And who better to watch us have sex

And who needs a hotel room?

And who's this little guy, little heartbreaker?

And why I won't go to my dad's funeral.

And why not? Sex with your mom feels great.

And why not? What's so great about living?

And you allowed me to believe this lie

And you can lick my log cutter.

And you got 'em both in spades.

And you got to get used to living outside,

And you guys can come, just let me know.

And you guys chase us out of here.

And you have to be happy with who you are.

And you just sit there all day

And you know the deal.

And you know what my biggest memory of that party was?

And you know what?

And you left me so much to dig out.

And you should know.

And you spelled the entire

And you still don't want to hit this?

And you threw a tantrum fit for a real queen.

And you took her away!

And you were gonna fix him up.

And you were looking for your mommy

And you were supposed to give up hugs!

And you, you were so enthusiastic!

And you... you used him!

And you're a pain in my ass.

And you're going to feel a little pressure.

And you're inside Frank!

And you're just a weed that grows in her shade!

And you're not going anywhere.

And you're screwing up my vacation!

And you're there.

And your hometown of Grundy is planning

And your last one was terrible.

And your mom doesn't make a cent,

And, as you may recall,

And, uh, they're hungry, like you requested.

And...

And... go!

And... it's... missing.

And... just for fun.

Anniversary of Baby Franny's rescue.

ANNOUNCER (over TV): Next on Fox,

ANNOUNCER: ...and representing Kentucky, Brigid Hendricks.

ANNOUNCER: American Dad cares.

ANNOUNCER: Congratulations Tucson, you've been Dadded!

ANNOUNCER: Hey, LAX.

ANNOUNCER: Okay Steve, the word was "dog,"

ANNOUNCER: Previously on American Dad...

ANNOUNCER: Quiet, please.

ANNOUNCER: Steve, if you get this next word right, you win.

ANNOUNCER: Steve, your word is "diarrhea."

ANNOUNCER: Your word is... "chrysanthemum."

ANNOUNCER: Your word is... "sacrifice."

Another (bleep) singing contest.

Another carbon molecule before the potassium?

Another human.

Another shot! The Prince of Mardi Gras demands it!

Any dumbass can have dumbass kids.

Any man who ever did anything great

Any man who says he's not is a liar.

Any old business?

Any sign of Black Villain, you come find me.

Anybody get pregnant at school?

Anyhow, I'm not a young man anymore,

Anything, Sinbad.

Anything. What is it?

Anyway, after the spill,

Anyway, hi, I'm Foster,

Anyway, I crunched some numbers and with the way we spend money,

Anyway, I hope this gift can at least begin

Anyway, in order for Hayley to get over Jeff,

Anyway, it's a really good gift because I love you.

Anyway, listen, if you could just stop by the courthouse,

Anywhoozles, please put your hands together

Appetizers.

Are dwindling in the world,

Are just two people trying to work stuff out.

Are sure you're ready for that much tail?

Are the reason he was abducted in the first place.

Are they hot or not?

Are those elephant tusks?

Are we actually gonna do this?

Are we..

Are what my grandmother would call a... (speaks gibberish)

Are you even still alive?

Are you getting it yet?

Are you good at bowling?

Are you guys taking the Dodge?

Are you kidding me?

Are you listening to me?

Are you ready to die over this?

Are you ready, Francine, to pay for your sins?

Are you ready?

Are you smoking?!

Are you still 30?

Are you suggesting I trick him?

Are you sure there are not any other maidens in the house?

Are you sure this is the spot where

Are you sure you read that right?

Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Are you Tara Reid?

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Are you trying to say my kids don't enjoy life?

Are you up there, Jeff?

Are you using again, Carl?

Are you willing to take the test to prove it?

Aren't you coming?

Aren't you tired of washing your face

Aren't you traveling the world as Jerry Jets?

Arrested Development song, "Mr. Wendell."

As a man and not a woman,

As famous fictional Greek character, Jesse Katsopolis.

As far away from my family as possible.

As I drink my beer that's in a paper bag

As I drive over it repeatedly.

As if it were a cigar.

As in the "U People."

As long as you fall the right way,

As long as you're happy,

As long as you're not a Puerto Rican.

As my grandmother would say,

As my grandmother would say,

As they enter the Toyota Service Center?

As you can see, Darrin, she's fully loaded.

As you can see, everything's fine.

As you can see, I'm quite the ladies' man.

As your protégé, I figured everything is an opportunity

Asian.

Aside from the Havarti cheese, this sandwich was a total bust.

At all.

At an online, offshore college.

At Black Villain's house party tonight.

At first we barely even got along

At the base of the Chimdale Mountains on Tuesday.

At the DC Sheraton, for nasty hotel sex.

At the library three miles away.

At the very least you owe me a good bye.

At this rate, we'll have zero good ideas every hour.

Atlanta's 404 is quite popular.

AUDIENCE: Baby Franny!

Auf wiedersehen,

Avery, I did it so we could be together!

Avery, what happened?

Avery, you make me so happy.

Avery!

Avoiding Hayley clearly isn't working.

Aw, are you nursing?

Aw, but he's got such a sweet smile.

Aw, damn it.

Aw, geez, Hannah, why... why don't you just leave?

Aw, honey.

Aw, man, I wussed out.

Aw, no!

Aw, Puddin, you know you're not allowed outdoors.

Aw...!

Awesome!

Aww

B O L O G N A.

Babe, I don't know what to do here.

Babe, no!

Babe, that was... terrible.

Baby Franny!

Baby Franny!

Baby Franny? Your boobs got so crazy!

Baby, are you crazy?

Baby, baby, baby, it's your boy, Steve.

Baby, it's still me.

Baby... Shut up!

Back in the late '60s, I was porkin' this

Back to sleep

Back up! Back up!

Bah Bah!

Bam!

Bam! Bam!

Bam! Bam! Bam!

Bam! Bam! Bam!

BARRY: Guys!

BARRY: We've got to keep it wet until the tide comes back in!

Be at that party.

Be safe. (kisses)

Be there any fair maidens in this cottage?

Beachfront property, y'all.

Beast!

Because he didn't like you.

Because he fell in a volcano.

Because he's forgiving, Steve.

Because his mistakes are a reflection on my parenting.

Because I accidentally bought prescription sunglasses,

Because I can't.

Because I cannot find my true love.

Because I don't think your mom and I are gonna be able

Because I drove with Gary.

Because I think of you as my cash cow.

Because I wanted my Franny back!

Because I'm starting to like it in here.

Because I'm tired of living on the cheap.

Because I'm trying to kill him! (grunts)

Because if it is, I won't do it.

Because it's men only.

Because it's so exciting.

Because no one died for me.

Because not being able to yell

Because of Jeff.

Because she's gonna take all our money.

Because that's where you'll be working.

Because there won't be open containers on my beach.

Because we have a wedding this weekend.

Because you can't keep a secret.

Because you don't just walk into a place like this

Because you hate me so much.

Because you spelled "Medea's Family Reunion."

Because you won't be getting a tip.

Because you, Gina, are a gold digger.

Because... they didn't want to come.

Bees?!

Before he discovers you've spent all his treasure

Before I head to California to become a surf model."

Before?

Behind his Rolls Royce in the parking lot.

Beignet!

Being a selfish, inconsiderate jerk.

Being emotionally honest makes me vomit!

Being watched is one of my kinks, Francine.

Bellacore Printing Company East Medford New Jersey...

Besides, he made witness protection fun.

Besides, I should be independent and on my own.

Besides, I'm doing fine out here.

Besides, what's the worst that could happen?

Betty, can you give me a hand with the champagne?

Betty, that service was straight baller.

BETTY: But then we realized we had a ton in common.

BETTY: Tom eventually invited me

Between right here and right here.

Between this world and the next,

Between you two and...

Bicyc quow.

Big family changes are often hardest on the children.

Big finish, guys.

Big Rodriguez, Throb Lowe,

Billy Hemphall, your word is...

Bingo.

Bit of a home body, my poop.

Bitches, remember?

Black bagels, y'all!

BLACK VILLAIN: I got all these hair dryers

Black Villain.