American Dad! (2005) - Season 11 Edit

A and I even got you this stupid card.

A And now I get to un pause it.

A and there's a jacuzzi!

A And this machine can get me to him?

A and who knows? Maybe they won't even notice me.

A are you gonna do something about Gwen?

A better life through lobotomies.

A big plate of loose hot dogs.

A big, throbbing smile.

A blond Asian is wrong. Cheating is fun.

A bug sized Stan.

A cloaking device for dorks?

A diamond encrusted inhaler.

A few times before it goes through,

A five circle hotel has everything!

A future we're not part of.

A little help from a friend.

A lizard!

A lot of guys hit on me from behind.

A mac and cheese omelet.

A paperclip.

A picture of your balls or something.

A private mini zoo just for the residents.

A real New York hotel!

A receipt from the hotel spa.

A Redbox exclusive!

A seizure?!

A seizure.

A sisterhood who have each other's backs.

A standoff of sorts.

A taping of a proactiv commercial,

A taste of Steve in your mouth.

A time for her to have a conversation with herself.

A whole lot of nothing.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Aaaaaaaaaah!

Aaaaaaaaaah!

Aaaaaaaaaah!

Aaaaaaaaaah!

Aaaaaaaaah! Oh, my God!

Aaaaah!!

Aaaaand... five Mississippi.

Aaaah!

Aaah!

Aaah! No! No, no, no!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aaaaaaah!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Aah! Oh! Oh!

Aah! Oof!

Aah! Ow!

Aah! Sorry, pal, but there's no room in this town

Aah! This is happening!

About a charity gala poppin' off in Vegas!

About aunt Gwen all these years.

About experiments and sexual chemistry

About making it to the ceremony at all.

About my sister coming to visit today

About parenting decisions.

About who was masturbating where.

About why on earth we would leave our perfectly good house

Absolute perfection.

Absolutely, sweetheart.

Absolutely. And emojis even go a step further.

Accidentally get away with that?

Across the street right when you need it

Across the street. Sober up, Klaus.

Action.

Actually, emoticons are a great way to get those subtleties.

Actually, now that we're all safe,

Actually, Richard Chamberlain will be there.

Actually, they use circles.

Actually, we have to get it back to the theater department.

Actually, you will. The Collectors said this ship is equipped

Afraid not, Steve

After he sees what we did.

After her trolley car accident.

After I drop the potatoes off at the pool.

After pledge week.

After some soul searching

After this, neither of you will remember what she was mad about.

After you, milady.

Again, well done, all of you

Again?

Agent Smith, would you like some toast with your jam?

Agree with you because they nominated me for an award.

Ah choo!

Ah, a plastic book always halfway through.

Ah, damn it. But I remember them.

Ah, damn. We just went!

Ah, home is where the..

Ah, it's just Steve running from something terrifying.

Ah, look at this. More species for our collection.

Ah, maybe you guys are right.

Ah, right, when people talk, you don't see their words.

Ah, soon, I will be a real robot.

Ah, that was a long one.

Ah, that's nice the calm before the resolution.

Ah, that's the tingle of desire

Ah, the public pool society's unflushed toilet.

Ah, the roof.

Ah, we meet again. Dr. Miller.

Ah! Damn autocorrect.

Ah! Damn it!

Ah! Ow!

Ah. A winky face.

Ah. Okay. Okay.

Ah. That would be my car.

Ah. You found our push to talk phone.

Aha!

Ahh, go the other way with it learn something about wine.

Ahh, kicking mushrooms around.

Ahh, she time.

Ahh, the trade winds.

Ahh.

Ahh.

Ahh. So, what are we doing?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Ai ya a a...

Ai ya ya ya ya ya ya!

Ai ya!

Ai ya!

Ai ya!

Ai ya!

Ai ya!

Ai ya! Aah!

Aiiii ya!

Alas, poor Leonard died boating to Catalina

Alert the new head of the zoology department.

Alien Jeff is gonna stay on Earth and be the new Jeff

All by himself.

All food thrown at our guests is provided by Taco King

All he has to do is get more whales, and he'll be back at it.

All I'm saying is,

All part of the evening!

All right, boys. You're on your own tonight.

All right, everyone. This is a crime scene.

All right, guys, let's get out of here old school style

All right, guys.

All right, how 'bout we just turn the music down?

All right, Jake. Let's do this.

All right, ladies, I want a good, clean match tonight,

All right, let's go, Patterson.

All right, let's use our heads. Which way?

All right, mom!

All right, well, don't forget

All right! I'm cured!

All right.

All right. How about a 2 tuck reverse?

All the good ones are married. Haven't you heard that?

All the time now.

All things I've found before in the bushes of Central Park.

All this over a stupid jambox?

All we're doing is sacrificing a little frozen yogurt

Allow I to introduce we

Alone at last.

Alone in the boss's office.

Along with our hotel info,

Already forgotten.

Alright, I've got a 6 day 5 night Hollywood getaway for two

Also could be a gift from someone.

Also, buy my premium Swiss style Fung Wah chocolate,

Also, I really need to get over

Also, I'm kind of thinking karate's not for us.

Also, if you're wondering why all the ladies are topless,

Also, it might not be a lie

Also, it's dark, so I can't be sure,

Also, we're on a big magnet right now.

Also, we're running low on dot matrix ink,

Although he refuses to acknowledge anyone,

Although that reminds me,

Always remember to watch "American Dad!"

Am I interrupting?

Am I really closed minded?

Am I Swedish?

Amazing work.

Amazing.

American television so funny.

Amidst the chaos of life.

Among my many, many wives.

An athlete or a pervert?

An important man.

And and birds.

And and he has a fanny pack

And a a pretty painful fall down a handicap ramp,

And a bucket of chicken.

And a glass of chilled Worcestershire sauce.

And a wheelchair

And abused your authority!

And actually dead Dr. Ray.

And again!

And all she ever does is use mom.

And also that June will age half a century

And altered the timeline.

And an ice cream sundae while my mom is missing!

And another one ends.

And another one of his whores again.

And arrange for the perfect anniversary.

And at school.

And behind me to touch the hair.

And best of all, with B.K.'s new,

And blowing 80 grand on hams

And Bucksled.

And charity events and work functions

And clear everyone out!

And cover it in fish oil.

And current two term vice president Joe Biden.

And do this better stuff with the famouses.

And don't even think about running away,

And don't get me wrong, we love garage

And drove it through her bookie's apartment.

And during the national anthem

And end our fun so soon? But why would I do that...

And even I know

And every time I eat this,

And everyone hates Andrew. I don't know why.

And everyone learned to love again.

And face off!

And feels guilty about being white

And fix all their problems at Fung Wah resort in Bali!

And focus it on these two words

And for some reason, he listens to you.

And get her locked up on a 72 hour psych hold.

And get me another Gibson.

And go to a Duane Reade.

And goes, "Major burn on register 1!"

And good news ... I taught him to swim

And got some more, double dipped?

And guess what?

And guess what.

And half the audience had heart attacks?

And Hans Junior. And Peter Junior.

And have three Earth specimens ready to Blorph.

And haven't you felt more confident around women

And he can't stop himself from telling everyone.

And he come to madame,

And he give me "American Dad!"

And he learned to cook gourmet cuisine

And he say he fall in love with Mademoiselle del Mar.

And he's important to me

And he's teaching me to use it.

And hello!

And here comes a million and one.

And his cardboard cutout,

And his parachute ended up landing at this school,

And hoist them over...

And hold his breath for the rest of his life.

And how did they see "Men in black"? So many questions.

And how it could've been nay, should have been you?

And how to suck venom out of a snakebite.

And I always quit before those.

And I am Dr. Brennan,

And I am going to make one.

And I bet you're poor.

And I buried three children,

And I can't be bothered.

And I come back to find you trying to save her now?

And I couldn't believe how much money we were wasting

And I couldn't even get a page of signatures

And I decided that, if we ever have a kid,

And I did not like it.

And I didn't watch it.

And I don't know if we can ever get that trust back.

And I don't say that just because I own shares in a figurine company.

And I don't work with losers.

And I even met a cute guy.

And I gave you four quarters.

And I get jail time.

And I hear the guy in line behind me do the whole "ugggh."

And I intend to win it again.

And I know where you can make the most difference

And I know where you can make the most difference

And I make sure Dick never rooms with me.

And I must say,

And I pity you if you don't leave a message for Hayley.

And I realized it felt right to have this penis.

And I ruined the facilities up front.

And I say, "Sir, if you're that pressed for time,

And I think if you got to know me,

And I think you're feeling what we have to do.

And I thought, "Maybe I could have it all

And I tried one.

And I was wondering if you could teach me some.

And I would love to take the new you to the new Fro Yo place

And I wrote it on this sheet of paper,

And I'd call racist, but they get us every time.

And I'd like to start by smoking a bowl

And I'll be even faster

And I'm about to bury some "Bones."

And I'm always afraid that when I turn on my car,

And I'm betting the answer is crate training.

And I'm going upstairs to start reading it now.

And I'm June Rosewood.

And I'm not as familiar with Windows 95

And I'm pickin' it up.

And I'm slated to star in the final 30 seconds

And I'm still grinding away in this one.

And I'm Sues, A.K.A. "The Sizzle."

And if things get really hairy,

And if you change your mind about me signing your cast,

And if you still don't like it here, I'll make us big again.

And imagine how many fliers this thing can hold!

And in the middle of that pileup...will be you.

And instead of using my anger to fight,

And isn't that what college is about?

And it destroyed her life.

And it has a smudge of mom's lipstick on it!

And it looks like we got ourselves a case.

And it might not be my name on the top,

And it would be fun to hook up

And it would've been if I hadn't tried to be friends

And it wouldn't be our lowest moment

And it's all for me!

And it's going out to our tenth caller.

And it's not bothering him at all.

And it's your fault

And just like the Superfood, I'm for sale at Trader Joe's.

And just write it all down when we get home.

And lastly, the school's orangutan mascot's

And learn something about flavor, please.

And legs insured by Lloyd's of London,

And listen, Andrew!

And little Tolhans.

And look it's the 6:00 sunset.

And look at her eating her butterscotch pudding

And make everyone think I did it!

And maybe stop drinking illegally.

And me...as me!

And move it here to China.

And my Ann Taylor suit a little more maroon,

And my coupons had somehow expired.

And no mommy to press charges.

And no texting at the dinner table.

And none of that would have been possible

And now an "I told you so"?

And now hamster.

And now I will make a sacrifice of my own!

And now it's your turn to obey me.

And now look where I am.

And now serves as a grim reminder of his passing!

And now they've slipped through my fingers.

And now we wait.

And now we're crunch brothers.

And now you're doing it!

And now, daddy os and daddy ettes,

And now...

And one of the things I realized up there

And our lives were put on pause.

And paired it with an amazing spaetzle.

And paralyzed her diaphragm.

And partners don't make the other partner

And Peter. And Hans.

And point out the elegance of Fung Wah's solution?

And pump 'em full of air!

And red currant brushed with hints of coriander.

And right when you set it.

And save Francine and the kids.

And send!

And she immediately gets fired.

And she knew, as she had never known before,

And she supported me

And show everybody that we stand together on this.

And show these jerks you've got ice in your veins.

And shrunk away from it.

And since it's not going to be my hover throne polisher...

And so I...had...

And some lavender scented hand towels?

And some stuff we found on the fraternity lawns

And somehow got everyone to go back to their dorms

And someone comes and murders us.

And something called Israel.

And sometimes there are these big pileups

And Stan already has a wife Francine.

And steals his wi fi from the H&R block next door.

And stole it like Lex Luthor.

And tell all your friends.

And thanks for letting me wrap up

And that takes courage.

And that's all there is to acting.

And that's gonna be it for me for a while.

And that's how I want to see my little man

And that's not the kind of thing you forget.

And that's what Sleeveless has.

And that's why they were waiting for us at the hotel.

And the "In Memoriam" part of the Oscars.

And the best part of it is you don't have to do it alone.

And the clarity of crystal.

And the ghost of Sinbad traveling the galaxy.

And the kids will all go back to their dorms.

And the only bird he never spotted

And the order in which I told them to you.

And the winner gets to room with me,

And the winner is...

And then finished her Fanta

And then get to high ground!

And then he fell in the swamp and died,

And then I saw the sexy lady on this shampoo bottle,

And then it got stuck, and then she climbed in after it.

And then set out to create it?

And then she whined like a little bitch.

And then take the escalator back to the upper mezzanine,

And then transport him to the mother ship.

And then we all move in together?

And there he is the Orphan Chef.

And they all think

And they don't put up with bullies.

And they don't.

And they know I'll throw a fit.

And they might have gotten together anyway.

And they said such terrible things.

And they're looking for an excuse!

And this guy here is bangin' a dog!

And this guy needs a hat. There we go.

And this woman is staying here

And together, we're gonna win the whole thing.

And Tolhans. And Lars.

And tried to add them to the closet, and it just burst.

And un pausing "Transformers: Dark of the Moon,"

And unshrink us immediately.

And w what does that mean?

And was making me write a book for him!

And we are finishing that movie.

And we got what I'll say it.

And we have the best idea for your next book.

And we kind of expect the world to give us things.

And we should really talk about

And we want you to come down and do half a segment

And we'll talk about point of view.

And we're gonna die here.

And we're never gonna find it oh, hello.

And we're spending it in a...

And what about mark? His mom died in a fire.

And what are we trudging through?

And what did your mom say?

And what happens when she finds out you've been texting?

And when I get out of here, I'm coming for you, sis.

And when it doesn't, it's like, "Wow, Mary!

And when the firemen put it out, they found what started it.

And who is funniest? I give you time to guess.

And who's to say how his accomplice would get in?

And whose husband called in a favor with a local judge.

And why we won't be having sex.

And yackity yak don't talk yak.

And yet I don't remember doing ether

And you taking us to Burger King for political asylum?

And you can learn to cook the same way.

And you can, my darling Leonard!

And you don't have to keep cleaning up her messes.

And you don't have to work, either.

And you have never once done anything for her

And you have two strikes!

And you miss the most exciting moment.

And you must hate that weak excuse for a mustache.

And you owe me $80,000. I'll take that in hams.

And you think that if you flunk some Biology test at school,

And you totally forgot to talk about your stuff.

And you, too, Hayley,

And you, you two bit shyster, you're not Leonard.

And you...

And you'd get to hang out with all those girls.

And you're doing a horse based takedown?

And you're gonna get us kicked off the team.

And you're not safe at home, either.

And you're not wearing underwear.

And you've chosen to keep bailing her out

And, aunt Gwen, you did what you did because...?

And, babe, I did a lot of thinking in space,

And, by the way, I should mention,

And, in a bigger way, I guess I went looking...

And, Jackson, instead of getting us out of town,

And, like, comfortable in your own skin?

And, like, get out of here!

And, okay, I've got his sweet moves.

And, uh... Oh, I'm right next door.

And, well, it's been a lot of packages.

And, well, machines don't make mistakes.

And, yeah, if I grew a mustache,

And, you know, maybe you don't want him on your team,

And...at church and the movies and funerals and weddings

And...while you're doing your homework

And...while...you're...playing board games with the family.

And...you want more.

Angrier! Ai ya!

Another Arbuckle T. Boone success story

Another billionaire buy it. He is here.

Any of the same stuff this whole trip.

Any other brand will damage your brain.

Anyhow, that's our show!

Anyone ever tell you that you have the confidence

Anyone know the way to the Red Light District?

Anything. You're in control here.

Anyway, if you hit the library, you've gone too far!

Anyway, welcome to corporate America.

Anyway, you won't remember any of this, but I will.

Anyways, everything went up super fast,

Apology accepted.

Apparently, he was a big bird watcher,

Apparently, there's a kegger

Apple, cinnamon, monkey, toaster.

Apple! Apple! Apple!

Apple! Apple! Where's Gwen?

Arbuckle here.

Arbuckle T. Boone is not a good life coach.

Arbuckle T. Boone, life coach.

Are are we, um..

Are the nerves in your legs because look what I just found.

Are we gonna [bleep] or what?

Are we making a movie today?

Are you are you planning to stay?

Are you casting me?!

Are you familiar with chaos theory?

Are you guys okay?

Are you here to save me? Sort of.

Are you saying I'm gonna walk to China?

Are you sure? Positive.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Are you wearing a wire?!

Are you working on material

Aren't cork trees endangered?

Around here for a little while.

As a little incentive to learn German.

As always, we're bringing you

As for you, a traumatic event like this

As if. So sad.

As it evolves, the mix of ginger and fresh bamboo leaves emerges

As long as that mainframe exists,

As long as there was 100% insertion.

As soon as you feel comfortable!

As that person is...

As you'll see, this whole yacht runs on solar power.

Assuming I see the whole incident.

At a museum. A fancy museum

At Carnegie Hall?

At Dojo Biden, we care about two things

At Groff Community College.

At least he went into work.

At one of five incredible golf courses, including professional,

At the Bijou Theater?

At the goodbye buffet,

At the public pool in front of the entire neighborhood.

At this place big chunks of potatoes!

At your hands? Oh, so much.

At your service.

Atop a bedrock of peas and carrots.

Attack! Attack! Ai ya!

Attention, everyone.

Aunt Gwen! Yes, Steve?

Aw, come on! Don't be like that!

Aw, man. Nice slide! You were going so fast.

Aw, we can't right now.

Awesome. Breakfast for dinner.

Aww, damn!

Aww, sis, I'm so sorry

Aww.

Aww.

Ax Jenkins.

Ax, get out of here before you crap your pants.

Ax, she's lying to you.

B B B Body slam!

B but I I went to the orphanage.

B but you've also got a lot to be happy about.

Back before machines took our jobs.

Back from the dead.

Back off, harlot!

Back on Earth, your dad and his friends

Back to "A" stands for alphabet.

Back to the 1950s as we welcome Bowzer!

Bad dream?

Bad elephant!

Bad things are always gonna happen.

Bankruptcy, two failed marriages,

Barry?

Based on something I saw in Da Vinci's Diaries.

Be careful promising what you can't deliver.

Be good.

Beat him in the upcoming karate tournament.

Beat it, babe. It's pre pro.

Beautiful morning, as always.

Beautiful.

Because he taught me what it is to be Human

Because he was still super into her.

Because he was texting and driving!

Because he's completely incapable

Because I can't punch loneliness!

Because I didn't figure out an escape route

Because I don't want people to say, "Klaus is a hater."

Because I only have three torture cells.

Because I was nervous.

Because I, too, am a human that makes mistakes.

Because I'm about to shoot the duck!

Because I've never looked into it

Because I've reached a point

Because if it wasn't, you would have known.

Because if she were to be kept in a mental institution

Because it brought us all closer together.

Because it can be very overwhelming.

Because it was all for a bigger cause

Because Marissa Stevens' mom is here.

Because my mom makes it for me, okay?

Because my name is Ray and I'm a shrink.

Because no one was bothering to do it anymore.

Because one of them lied and ruined everything.

Because one of those hands...

Because people who fight with anger are sloppy.

Because reincarnation isn't real.

Because the outside world is flawed and chaotic.

Because there's something I need to tell you.

Because they were boring, brown haired scientists.

Because we're finishing the picture!

Because you blamed us!

Because you feel powerless and out of control.

Because you put us in here!

Because you sent me this video right after.

Because you've been missing work,

Because your weird gut's about to hit the wall.

Because, Klaus,

Because... I...love her?

Been missing since last week.

Before she's well enough to reengage with society.

Before the accident.

Before we can start looking for your mom.

Before we could finish shooting the last scene.

Beg pardon?

Begging for mercy

Behave like a person who wants to live!

Behind Trader Joe's.

Behind Trader Joe's.

Being intimate with Daniel.

Besides, the gate's locked.

Better go take the edge off.

Better make it count.

Better.

Betty Crocker bakes cakes.

Beyond mortifying.

Big conglomerate with many assets.

Big fan? That doesn't sound right.

Bingo.

Birthday?

Birthday?

Bl bl bl bl bl!

Black doctor says I was almost a angel.

Bleh!

Boss is coming. Look busy.

Boy, he sure smelled good.

Boy, oh, boy, did she look stupid.

Boy, oh, boy, do you look stupid.

Boys, never forget what got us out of that prison

Brilliant! No, Snot.

Bring me up!

Bring the frequency way, way down,

Brothers, we must stop the collection.

Brush, brush.

Brutality!

Brutality.

Bub bub bub bub bub bub, bub bub bub bub bub bub, bub bub bub bub bub bub.

Buddy, you just missed the whole point of my lesson.

Bullies will never even see us.

Bullock determines the rooming list?

Bullock will have no choice but to use us for every mission

Bullock, what happened to you?

Buppity bup bup bup bup bup bup!

Burnt crinoline...

But

But 2 1/2 times.

But a lot of my patients find palpating small, soft animals

But are you taped down there?

But as long as you don't have me making résumés,

But at the end of the day,

But at the end of the day,

But before that double cross!

But carnations are every woman's favorite flower.

But don't get psyched out just nail the dive

But don't think for a second

But don't worry.

But don't worry. I'm working on that.

But down here, it's perfect.

But everything else is a dead on match.

But for me, it's like going back to college

But had to sign a prenup

But having a penis doesn't make him a boy.

But he knows that Roger's an alien,

But he took real good care of that bush.

But he's also an environmentalist.

But here we are, in the whale room, once again

But how are we gonna get into that painting?

But how?

But I already figured it out for myself.

But I assume they work like gangbusters.

But I can tell you I'm not a girl in a boy's body.

But I definitely don't think that's your dad.

But I don't smoke anymore.

But I got some moves of my own!

But I got you!

But I had no idea that the Olympic village

But I had the device. How'd you get small?

But I I came back because I really care about you.

But I I wouldn't know where to start.

But I if it's not you

But i it was in the heat of the moment and

But I just can't make my exquisite writing

But I know it was because I'm bad at computers.

But I know which one the moon is.

But I know you're a separate, unique person.

But I may get her to agree to a twosome.

But I never looked so good.

But I think this bird might actually be my dead dad.

But I want to see how it ends.

But I was gonna say sorry.

But I'll always want him on mine.

But I'll hunt them down. Don't you worry about Arliss.

But I'm also Stan.

But I'm an exact replica of the Jeff you lost.

But I'm beginning to think

But I'm hungry for chicken!

But I'm not a fighter.

But I'm not mad. We just need to get back on top.

But I'm on level 15!

But I'm one of you!

But I'm pretty glad I tried Italian food.

But if at any point you stop moving,

But if she was so great, how come she's dead?

But if you knew you were sending a drone, why also send us?

But if you're there, then I must have been talking to...

But in the end, you passed my every test.

But it is a marriage in name only.

But it is not!

But it's definitely not denatured alcohol.

But it's just irresponsible if I haven't seen the whole incident.

But it's like I've been saying since you just told me it

But it's like, "What? That's nonsense."

But it's not a problem. No.

But it's not to put any pressure on you.

But it's the main one.