American Dad! - Season 6 Edit

A Are you sure?

A baby doesn't ruin your life!

A balanced breakfast!

A bay window, you look at a bay.

A bigger room!

A bonding experience with my son.

A boy shot a man today!

A boy shot a man!

A bunch of TV execs are gonna be there.

A butterscotch what?

A complimentary bucket of Coronas?!

A damn thing for Christmas.

A day to do whatever she pleased.

A favor?

A fe... a female box...

A gold toilet?

A gun?

A little exhausted celebrating all those holidays in one week

A little vapo rub will soothe me.

A lot better.

A lot of folks out there are trying to scare people

A lot of softball related injuries in that room.

A lot of stress into this thing.

A love scene.

A lowly piñata maker who pretends to be as empty

A machine gun?

A mall Santa!

A mitt's fah catching a baseball!

A new plan...

A nice, easy jog.

A pancake and a chicken?

A pancake plate?

A phone call at a time like this couldn't possibly change

A plea zure.

A real one to express my disgust with your acting.

A real sparkling talent.

A restaurant? Why?

A sandwich, Francine!

A shark's not very intimidating behind glass,

A stress ball.

A successful restaurateur of arson, Stan.

A thing?

A Transformer?

A Travel Guide to Tokyo's Finest Defecation Clubs?

A week?!

A what?

A whole room full of agents killed by Stan's bad acting.

A whole week of working after school on your uncle's farm?

A whole week without you having to take care of us.

Aah

Aah, I saw it.

Aah, my butt.

Aah, oh, dude!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! I give up.

Aah! I smell my butt!

Aah! It's not her!

Aah! Liar!

Aah! My hip hop hooray arm!

Aah! No! Oh, no!

Aah! Ooh! Ooh! Ah! Ah!

Aah! Roger?

Aah! Squirt, squirt. Quit it!

Aah.

Aah...

Aah...

Aah...

Aah...

Aah...!

Abba Zaba!

About all new floors!

About any launch codes?

About any launch codes?

About the fanny pack? Okay.

About the fifth grade anymore.

About the restaurant business.

About the way things worked out, but I don't...

About the wedgie I suffered at lunch today.

About this show.

About time!

About what happened at camp.

About what we have to do. Clean up the house,

About your dream of opening a restaurant.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

According to sources, Langley Falls resident Stan Smith,

Acting for an audience of ruthless thugs,

Acting like a genius.

Acting pays the bills so I can pursue my true passion:

Activities Director from Golden Mango Resort.

Actual serial killers.

Actually I thought it was very well crafted.

Actually they were Tic Tacs.

Actually, Francine, I seduced him.

Actually, I sing in the D.C. Opera.

Actually, I was fine until I saw that face of yours.

Actually, I...

Actually, it does, Dad, and you need to accept that.

Actually, it's all mine.

Actually, it's helping a lot.

Actually, Stan, that was a trick.

Actually, we have some news.

Afraid not.

After a few twists and turns,

After a perfect one, like...

After Christmas dinner?

After he spends the day with me away from Andy,

After he was done.

After one joke?

After that, they do it on the Viking rangetop

After we ran out of money,

After you join

After you revealed Jenny was faking it with him.

Again, just want to mention

Again, that reward is 50 grand,

Against the defendant,

Ah, forget it.

Ah, I don't care.

Ah, I took a detour on Hayley.

Ah, it was so easy back then.

Ah, it's so crooked and awesome.

Ah, that wasn't for you.

Ah, there's a blue jay out there.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! Look, Stan.

Ah! Mommy! Downtown Langley

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. I see.

Ah. Who's that funny for?

Ah... Oh... Oh...

Ah... ya!

Aha ha!

Aha ha!

Aha ha!

Aha! I hired a 12 piece orchestra

Ahh, man!

Ahh! Stop it!

Ain't no need to prostrate yourself.

Air Bud.

AKA Babylegs O'Hurlihan.

Akiko, that was incredible!

Alex! Jeremiah!

Alfred Hitchcock!

All 88 shots have been fired.

All because you needed to have the best haunted house!

All day long.

All I got to my ... name is $20,000

All I have to do is grab that ladder over there,

All I heard was, "Do it."

All new cabinets!

All of you just get out of here.

All right, boys, time to have a little fun with the winnings.

All right, enough of this.

All right, I can't act, okay?

All right, I got everything we need:

All right, I'll see you tomorrow.

All right, I'm coming home!

All right, new plan.

All right, our goal tonight is simple.

All right, Stan the man's here!

All right, Steve and I will go outside with Bob Todd.

All right, Steve,

All right, that's it!

All right, that's it.

All right, the sun's going down.

All right, there's the senator.

All right, welcome to my home.

All right, you've taken Sarah as far as she can go.

All right!

All right! All right!

All right! KID 2: Hurry up!

All right.

All right. I guess it does sound kind of fun.

All right. Well,

All righty, then, Francine.

ALL Steve! Steve! Steve! Steve! Steve!

All the planning for your Christian camp.

All the prestigious CIA task force positions.

All the real work gets done, don't you?

All the running, all the... all the studying,

All the things you ever wanted, I did.

All these people walking around without bags.

All those bitches can starve.

All too well.

All we've been blessed with.

All week until you make it perfect.

ALL Yeah!

All you care about is taking me there

All you need is a manager, and you're on your way.

All you need is confidence.

ALL: ♪ Bah ba biggity doogah dom ♪

ALL: ♪ Flim flam fibbity flommy flop ♪

ALL: Three, two, one.

Almost broke my damn neck.

Almost shot my eye out!

Along came Squanto.

Already did...?

Already told ya. Try to keep up.

Also them!

Although if you inherited that pizza face from her, I get it.

Always funny.

Am I gonna marry her? Hell, no!

American Dad 6x01 100 A.D. Original Air Date on October 3, 2010

American Dad 6x02 Son of Stan Original Air Date on October 10, 2010

An aversion.

An Israeli?

And a constant reminder of what happens

And a nice camera to take pictures of us!

And a piece of ... land your sissy great grandpappy

And a Smith & Wesson with a double stack magazine.

And all the ladies, well, they call me Bert Bert.

And all those mongoloids and tampon eaters do what I say!

And an egg and a hash brown and...

And as for my stand up career,

And Barry? I'm Jonah Hill,

And be rid of him forever!

And be the first person to hold me.

And boobies!

And boom, you're working on a second chin.

And bring her back to us?

And bring you to tears!

And cap it off with a foray into demon worship,

And check out that $200 haircut.

And check out this flashlight halogen.

And chop off my head!

And come home.

And come meet me at the zoo.

And congratulations to the badminton squad,

And cut off his hands.

And did they put in all new cabinets?

And did you give any thought

And do jazz tap routines!

And don't skimp on the chili peppers!

And Doug can dance.

And end up ignoring the charge.

And every year you get me so scared, I pee my pants.

And every year, I come up with

And fall back in love.

And fed it to one of these dogs.

And figure out how to get Tom and Cami back together.

And from here on out, I will personally be taking you

And from that moment on,

And get shot in the head.

And get that promotion.

And get the hell out of here.

And get this facocta ghoul off the car!

And get this facocta ghoul off the car!

And give Tom and Cami the gift of lifelong responsibility.

And go to a new school?

And going to dethrone him.

And guess what your old dad found behind the Post it?

And hasn't called us in six weeks.

And have to dance their way out.

And he called my dumb ramblings a story!

And he said he can make it without the tomatoes.

And he said I don't like change.

And he said, "I don't.

And he'll invite me to move back in!

And he's not getting any younger.

And here I am!

And honestly, Steve, I don't think you should, either.

And I asked him, "Mr. Antonioni,

And I can't believe you have a servant

And I feel as though we are not going to get along.

And I figured you would have vacuumed the plant gravel

And I get stronger.

And I get to drive you to work.

And I have no idea where my Steve...

And I just have to spend all of my time with her.

And I just want to sit on his .

And I know Glenn looks forward to this all the year long.

And I know it wasn't me.

And I love justice,

And I missed her?!

And I need to know who she is.

And I need you to check me for ticks.

And I promise you, I'm gonna spend it all on myself

And I said, "I don't like tomatoes,"

And I scored a touchdown!

And I seek a blind moonshiner with four arms

And I stick to it, too.

And I think I know exactly where to find my fanny pack.

And I told you, I can't control myself!

And I totally lost track.

And I want

And I want to formally welcome Jeff to our home.

And I want you to move back in.

And I was flush with cash.

And I will do anything, even die, to preserve them.

And I will let you drive my Camaro

And I'd pant real fast!

And I'll be really disappointed if I don't.

And I'll be rooting for you in the bike race this Friday!

And I'll be transported back in time

And I'll raise Steve arino my way.

And I'll tell you what I'm thankful for

And I'm gonna ask him to put me

And I'm gonna tell 'em.

And I'm gonna wear the pj bottoms

And I'm here to tell you, they are a coming, folks.

And I'm mad, too.

And I'm not going to let you take that away.

And I'm not in the mood to do a whole

And I'm not leaving until you say you love me back.

And I'm not sure she's awesome.

And I'm opening a restaurant next door.

And I'm putting you in the "friend phone."

And I'm sorry.

And I'm the king of this jungle.

And I'm the most charming S.O.B. anyone's ever met.

And I've been having a Dickens of a time concocting an eggnog

And I've realized that that someone is you.

And if I follow them, you should have to follow them, too.

And if I'm unconvincing or forget a line,

And if that's how you feel, Stan,

And if you don't like it, you can take a hike.

And if you're sane,

And into the wilderness to die alone.

And invent our own creepy language.

And is decent enough to fall off the face of the Earth.

And it appears you can see me quite well.

And it claimed his voice box.

And it doesn't look like you've worked

And it was a rotten thing to do.

And it was good.

And it would be an honor if I could purchase your whiskey.

And it'll help me a lot.

And it's not even that time of the month.

And it's some sort of mold or fungus that turns them white.

And it's spreading to mine...

And Jenny loved Snot.

And just kick... their... ass.

And just pig out!

And keep all the money.

And knew she was a star.

And leave the rest to me.

And let me move back in.

And look at these paper towels I bought.

And look, this cabinet is also a dishwasher.

And lunch today will be pizza

And make my body fight them.

And make sure your mother doesn't find out.

And making pee pee on the potty.

And many people are saying

And Mom's the whore in that situation?

And most importantly, take it all.

And most of the hookers Drew Carey's slept with.

And my lover.

And name you my bitch.

And never talk about it again

And no more PB&J with the crusts cut off.

And no nicks.

And not laugh.

And not my "friend phone."

And now he won't leave me alone.

And now he's gonna get away.

And now he's scared you're coming into your prime

And now how about a Champagne toast?

And now that money's just gone.

And now you do, too.

And now, it's repaid.

And once I start crying,

And once you drew blood for him, you were set.

And pick up some Huggies.

And pink mist on my toes.

And placed in foster care.

And please stop calling me Shirley.

And poor little Susan, she only ate half of her.

And Principal Lewis spends it all

And probable roller derby captain,

And produce a cartoon about crickets

And pube up our hot tub.

And put together a talent showcase

And Qui Lo, that hunky little potsticker?

And realized she was still alive.

And remember your Fourth of July barbecue?

And remember, boys, there will be girls aplenty

And ride ten speeds or whatever."

And Roger and I are stuck on hold. We're starving.

And Roger saved Dad's life.

And sabotaged your birth control.

And see how fast we can...

And see the Nationals play.

And send these toy makers to hell!

And she had an affair with a married black senator.

And shoot from the windows.

And sidekick in the '80s.

And since I'm going to get it, that means no class for a while.

And Snot, are you a gymnast?

And so it begins.

And soccer practice had been moved to the upper field.

And some Turkish amphetamines

And sometimes you have to focus on what's important

And soon I'm gonna taste that sweetness.

And Stan and Stacey, I'm giving you one of the most

And start singing a musical on my stage!

And steal that $50,000 she took from you.

And stupid crap like that ain't it.

And suffered a terrible accident.

And tater tots.

And tell each other boring stories

And temples everywhere are predicting a robust break fast.

And that I could call you "Francine."

And that was my dad's.

And that's a skier's promise.

And that's career.

And that's me.

And that's not the cocaine talking.

And that's the news.

And that's what we are.

And that's why he lives with us.

And that's why you can stay here as long as you want.

And that's why, to this day,

And that's your picture.

And the banister story.

And the confidence to send you out into the real world.

And the crowd goes nuts.

And the number one dog on my fictitious dog list is...

And the only thing about this moment I wish I could change.

And the other one we'll just put down.

And the power and the glory. Amen.

And the weather kept changing and then I was a child again.

And then get right back to work!

And then I sold her to a drug dealer. The end.

And then make a big stink when they won't let me

And then maybe tonight I'll introduce her to...

And then we can go home.

And then we'll get out of here.

And then, if you want, I'll leave you alone forever.

And there's no more scraping snot rockets off the shower tiles.

And there's no threat of his son challenging him.

And there's not a moment to spare.

And there's plenty more.

And they're all like "Godzilla, aw!"

And they're eating lasagna!

And they're the best all male nude revue

And they've been going pee pee in our Coke for years!

And things then all changed

And this chair?

And this is a fist.

And this is exactly what I was afraid of.

And this is my sidekick Wheelbarrow Tim,

And this kid in his fancy electric scooter.

And those idiots out there do what I tell them!

And those shorts make you look boxy.

And three more Garry Marshall movies.

And to help a bird or two get out of the cold.

And to Lionel Richie

And to this day, I always carry a stick of butter in my purse.

And tomorrow it would just be over.

And tomorrow it would just be over.

And took my food.

And touch butts under a bridge!

And trust me, Snot's been relieving

And try the new Mexican place at the food court...

And use it to take a trip together as best pals.

And wanted Steve's easy life.

And we can't be getting two report cards in the mail.

And we don't have a VCR anymore

And we have nothing to be thankful for!

And we moved to the desert.

And we'd head into the dawn of adulthood.

And we'll just open it up

And we'll see if we can find you a table.

And we're the only passengers aboard.

And what do you have to say for yourself, Metro section?

And what is your profession?

And what makes you the big dog?

And when bring it up later, you just push it off.

And when he opens his mouth to scream, you toss the drugs.

And when I open my eyes, you better be gone, okay?

And when you awake, you will remember...

And who knows, maybe I wouldn't like getting off.

And why he did such a slapdash job.

And without missing a beat says, "Purple hat."

And you always carry a spare inhaler for me.

And you are many, many years

And you better hurry up, 'cause Lil' Vince

And you got a great group of friends here.

And you got your head stuck in the staircase banister.

And you just said all that.

And you know he can't afford a professional crew.

And you know what?

And you owe me a life debt again.

And you probably never will.

And you should see the blacks on this thing.

And you want to discuss your parents moving to town,

And you were ready to be adult friends,

And you, that's enough from you for the night!

And you'll be looking for a spot under the porch

And you're gonna watch them grow.

And you're jealous that I'm getting sniz on the reg.

And you're no longer king of the nerds!

And you're not much of a drinker. What?!

And you're the best of the best

And you're the poorest guy I know, Jeff.

And your drugs and your stupid Klaus tattoo!

And, behold, I said lunch was lasagna,

And, brother, they set up shop in the depths of your soul

And, Steve, here's yours.

And, um...

And, well, I just want you to know...

And... and all of you to enjoy life with.

And... Toshi and I have to get to a taping of Benson.

And... wine?

Andy Dick bugs the crap out of me.

Andy is nothing like Roger.

Andy, if you need anything, just let me know.

Announcement.

Another face plant.

Another fey pansexual alcoholic nonhuman.

Another man today for a sandwich?

Any other woman in the audience

Any questions?

Anybody have a giant pad of butter?

Anybody want a piece of this against my will?

Anyone can get laid here, even you.

Anyone guilty of a Napster level crime?

Anyone want to cut my head off and have sex with my body?

Anything you can can do, I can do better.

Anything you want, honey.

Anything?

Anyway, every American's got the right to a trial

Anyway, everything's complimentary

Anyway, I've been down on my luck as of late,

Anyway, if you don't want to eat it,

Anyway, if you want to live longer,

Anyway, last four digits 5664.

Anyway, Mama, I'm not gonna make home for Randy's birthday.

Anyway, no restaurant has ever been as good or as fun.

Anyway, point is: we're strong.

Anyway, sir, she's here and she's safe.

Anyway, the director liked me so much,

Anyway, there's this one spider

Anyway, we're gonna have a blast

Anyways, you guys want to grab some soosh?

Apparently she never does.

Apparently you can get $1,200 per puppy.

Apparently, the Asian community is in an uproar.

Appeal to their ****y side.

Arachno matricide!

Are are you sure? Absolutely. Flirt away.

Are from Chinese spies trying to infiltrate us.

Are going to be on as a married couple, okay?

Are gonna give you our complete support.

Are performing on the stage.

Are probably all right, but I I'd toss everything else.

Are they making that buzzing noise?

Are trying to flee Goose Island

Are we at the frozen yogurt place yet?

Are we serious about this, or are we just talking about it?

Are we stupid, Steve? No, honestly, are we?

Are you crazy, pushing me in the pool?!

Are you digging for my heart in there, tadpole?

Are you happy with the life you've chosen?

Are you happy, Dad?

Are you in the bathroom?

Are you in the house?

Are you kidding me?

Are you nuts?!

Are you okay?

Are you ready to apologize?

Are you ready? I'm ready.

Are you rich?

Are you seriously mad at me, Stan?

Are you sure about all this?

Are you sure there's no way?

Are you sure this'll work, Steve?

Are you sure, Barry?

Are you sure?

Are you sure? Maybe you want to talk to your husband about it?

Are you the Piñata Man?

Are you tired? Is it too cold in here?

Are, are you implying our marriage isn't strong enough

Area 51?!

Aren't you going to ask me what's so special

Armed robbery! He's in jail!

As a likely Women's Studies major

As a matter of fact, it is.

As alpha male, I've taken up knitting.

As I am not a character from Welcome Back, Kotter."

As I am not legally permitted to be

As I walk to the stand.

As if fidgeting with some dumb ball

As if they're insults!

As long as I don't charge over 40 bucks, they never catch on.

As long as that's not sexual innuendo, then you're right.

As long as the real Sarah Blanch doesn't show up.

As long as we don't put any stress on our marriage.

As long as you don't drive anything heavy over it.

As one stick and then you have cut it all up.

As soon as Stan sees my face,

As soon as we're married, we're gonna move to rural Mexico

As the toys he makes.

As well as you should have.

As you can see, it is a .

Ashley, come on!

At a guy on the bus who looked like Harold Ramis.

At a place called CCS Enterprises?"

At Burt Longhorn's Western Wear Depot.

At first, Jeff was saying

At his golf club.

At least there's some diversity.

At least you know where your loved one is.

At parenting than me, we'll do your stupid plan.

At Steve's school on Wednesday night.

At that moment, I was a hundred percent sure

At the base of the Chimdale Mountains.

At the corner, take a fright.

At the mother of all stripper slash comedy clubs.

At the Nut and Jerky House

At Wild West Land.

Atención, I have terrible news.

Atención! I have the cast list.

Atop that mountain, a four armed nine foot blind man,

Attaboy.

Attention everyone!

Attention.

Average American fat.

Aw, baby, come on, no, no, don't...

Aw, crap, you saved my life.

Aw, damn it. It's the "dad phone."

Aw, Frank.

Aw, I knew you were a sweetie.

Aw, man, can you imagine what it's like to be one of them?

Aw, man, what's up with Frank and the schedule?

Aw...

Aw...

Aw...

Aw...

Aw...

Aw... Aw...

Aw...!

Back for another concrete convention.

Back to Greg and Terry's credit card.

Bacon's a little chewy.

Bakersfield Pam!

Bam!

Bam!

Banged her around so much,

Barbara Walters said it,

Barf to that hobby.

Barry, you're doing the announcements now.

Barry!

Baruch Hashem.

Batteries!

Be about Diana Ross.

Be the guy with the big kielbasa.

Beat it, you dingus.

Beautiful shot!

Beautiful.

Because a load bearing candy cane was holding up one wall,

Because every word

Because following the rules is hard work.

Because friendship is like a crop.

Because he's good.

Because he's guilty!

Because I don't share laughs with my son.

Because I don't trust ****.

Because I have been bringing my family to your house

Because I was once in love, too.

Because I'm a star.

Because I'm going to get you laid.

Because if I tried and failed,

Because it is weak.

Because it's stupid.

Because our acting was that damn good.

Because people made fun of us.

Because she's Sarah Blanch!

Because soon I'll be sitting where you are,

Because that's the kind of restaurant my friend is opening.

Because that's what you are. A boy.

Because that's what you're doing to your sister.

Because the Indians hadn't done any work.

Because then a doctor would save him.

Because things aren't always what they appear.

Because this is a stress ball.

Because two Wongs don't make a white.

Because we have two of them.

Because we're a team.

Because you bring me one from every mission.

Because you come over every year, say the same thing

Because you didn't buy him a DVD player

Because you hate Jenny,

Because you're a witch?!

Because you've got everything going for you?!

Because your dad is going to talk to you

Because, he's so obviously hetero.

Been shedding scabs all day.

Beer for the newlyweds.

Before I get there, Stan.

Before one of these geezers has a heart attack.

Before the haunted house starts.

Before the killers get to us.

Before the sun rises on Christmas Day.

Before they bring the audience in.

Before you put it together, Dumbo.

Before your jury service begins,

Beginner's luck.

Being an innocent young girl for a change.

Believe how dirty it is under my desk.

Bert, 'cause he gets to watch my big round ass

Bert's throat gets so dry these days.

Bertrum, I have some bad news.

Best presentation ever.

Better not be him with some unconscious fool.

Better not be him with some unconscious fool.

Better than the alternative.

Between black people and science fiction."

Between grabbing it or saving Stan.

Between them, they've killed 86 people,

BEVERLY BILLINGSLEY: Hello?

Bewitching, isn't she?

Big ass trophy just for announcing?

Big deal!

Big nosed, sour faced sister Jeanie.

Big piece for the guy who didn't create 14 widows last night.

Bing Cooper.

Bing, I just saw an acceptance letter from UCLA on your fridge.

Bing!

Birds died because of you!

Bitch is hysterical.

Bitch, what are you crying about?!

Bitch, what are you crying about?!

Bitch?

Blossoming new comedienne, Francine Ling.

Blow off some steam.

Boat notized?

Bob Todd Williams.

Bob Todd, my name is Roger.