Instant Family Edit

A Are you jo... You're not joking? My God. I'm so sorry.

A big, life altering moment like this, you gotta get pumped.

A Christmas tree?

A couple of months? How many months?

A couple of months.

A very happy family.

About that hairbrush?

Absolutely no fundamentals whatsoever.

Absolutely! Miss Peppers!

Actually, everything is from swap meets and flea markets,

Actually, I wanted to give you the statement we wrote

Actually, if you read your foster parent regs,

Add a balloon, El.

After a while, you can't believe anyone could ever love you.

After you fix that god awful statement.

All I'm saying is that we're thankful

All I'm saying is, white bread couple taking in little Latin kids.

All right, bye.

All right, come on, everybody.

All right, come on.

All right, cool.

All right, everybody, hands.

All right, everybody, I want you all to imagine

All right, honey, we gotta go.

All right, I won't make any more jokes like that.

All right, look at me.

All right, look, you drop them off.

All right, look.

All right, maybe I did do a look.

All right, October, that leaves you.

All right, October.

All right, one nail on each side of the slat.

All right, so you guys gonna pick us up at 4:00?

All right! First try!

All right?

All right.

All right. Get up! Come on. Let's go.

All right. Good night.

All right. Just don't cry, okay?

All right. We appreciate it.

All righty.

All there?

Almost done.

And also with us today are Juan, Lita, and Elizabeth Viara?

And at that same occasion, did you tell Lizzy to call CPS and to come and take the kids?

And at the time, we couldn't answer her."

And by the time the kid's 16, I'm gonna be one of those old dads,

And cranking his explicit music till all hours.

And did you two each get a teddy bear?

And do I look like I feel good about myself right now?

And encourage him "to whip out his big, shaved plums"?

And everybody feels sorry for us.

And he dropped the thing on his foot...

And he got into another fight at school.

And how he doesn't say much so she can't tell if he likes her.

And I am thankful that whoever has a problem with it can fuck right off!

And I didn't drink a drop when I was pregnant. Nor do I have a radiator.

And I didn't make it easy on them.

And I don't know, I'm sorry.

And I haven't seen her. I was hoping I could see her.

And I know this probably makes me a really bad person,

And I live for this.

And I may not look it, but I'm a huge cornball

And I think I might be recognizing a little bit of jealousy.

And I was put in the system,

And I would like to be the single mother of an athletically gifted teen boy

And I'll just jot you down for "whites only."

And if I were to put the kids in your care,

And it looks like she's got a real shot.

And it ran a little bit later. It's not a big deal.

And it's like the saddest thing I've ever seen.

And it's not that expensive at all.

And it's not their fault! And they're not damaged goods!

And Juan can be fragile and a little emotional,

And Juan just doesn't use his head.

And just when things finally start to feel normal again, they have another visit.

And Lita just got 100 on her last spelling test.

And Lizzy is strong willed and she won't trust easily.

And Lizzy, she's actually smiling. It's crazy.

And Lizzy's soccer team is undefeated.

And my plums aren't shaved.

And never seems to follow through with them.

And next we have Pete and Ellie.

And now Mom's ready to reunite?

And our life is mostly gonna suck now.

And people are gonna say some stupid shit.

And people wouldn't walk out in the middle of your seminar

And prior to that assault,

And push buttons you didn't even know you had.

And remember...

And right now I kind of envy them. But I know you guys love me.

And she can't bother with the one second it takes

And she didn't show.

And she never learned to properly care for herself, much less three kids.

And some of these kids can often languish in the system,

And somebody has a problem with that,

And someday I'm gonna give you away at your wedding.

And tell us, without blaming each other, what the main issues are.

And that statement ain't gonna help.

And that was helpful.

And the court stuff and reunification stuff if she didn't...

And the foster parents, Mr. and Mrs. Wagner, are they present as well?

And the Lord has guided us here

And the schools here are fantastic if you have a baby.

And then each week we'll mix it up.

And then I just said that thing that I said, and now you're grounded!

And then take this nail out.

And then they got distracted, and then I yelled at Juan,

And then we can figure something out.

And then we can pair you with some kids that you can foster

And then we met yours and saw what a wonderful choice it was.

And then we were going crazy trying to get the business started.

And then you can take Lizzy to the high school.

And there's a little kid who ends up on our doorstep.

And they watch people playing video games on YouTube.

And they're moving from place to place, and they don't have anybody,

And this has you feeling what? Frustrated? Scared? Lost? Is that it?

And trash bags in the middle of the night and move them back to the Muskies?

And turn it into a crazy life decision.

And walk your ass right on out of there.

And we get our clean house and date night back.

And we have every color of parent. Every color.

And we know that when you feel good in the morning,

And we start classes next week!

And we want to give thanks for this lovely meal and also this, um,

And we've been trying to have a baby for three years now.

And what type of children you're looking for.

And what's the boy situation? Anything exciting?

And white, with red hair.

And write down the name of any kid you meet you might be interested in.

And you can get your certification.

And you know that.

And you know why? We've got a cosmic connection.

And you might quit just to get some control back.

And you're a dead man.

And you're gonna have a couple of lunch dates."

And you're not that old.

And, Lizzy, I understand that you've submitted a statement.

And, Miss Viara, do you feel capable of responsibly caring

And, Mr. and Mrs. Wagner,

And, uh, let's talk about what happened.

And, yes, there are people who do it just for the paycheck.

And... And I'll just ask Karen for, um, a different placement.

Anybody else?

Anyone ever starts shit with any of you, they have to deal with me.

Anything in this room.

Are people gonna think we shouldn't be doing that?

Are spending Thanksgiving without any family at all.

Are we gonna turn her away because we're not special enough?

Are you shitting me right now?

Are you sure you want to give this to your sister?

Are you sure?

Are you two gonna stand there all night,

Are you with them? Do you know those guys?

As long as you spend some time with them, they're cool.

At us, at the world. Maybe at yourself a little bit.

Aw!

Babe, we'd make 100K off this flip all day long.

Bad, bad, bad!

Because they can match a lot of kids and parents quickly.

Because they're not going through it all alone.

Because we love you, Lizzy.

Because we... It was... I mean, I...

Because you knew that it mattered, right?

Before you jumped on in there,

Before you weren't grounded, you weren't anything,

Bounced around from placement to placement.

Bounty of super fun cardboard boxes.

Breaks my heart.

Brenda Fernandez and her parents.

Brenda has struggled with substance abuse

But a lot of kids don't have that.

But deep down, you know you're not qualified.

But did you meet any kids that you're curious about?

But does he have a lot of contacts?

But either way, we're gonna be there for you.

But guess what? They're not adopted yet.

But he is 5'2."

But I do love you both.

But I just keep wishing that their mom would go back to prison.

But I think we're perfect for this.

But I'm just wondering if I can just get in on that hug a little bit.

But if you're afraid we can't handle knowing the bad stuff, or the scary stuff,

But if you're willing to love these kids who need a mom and dad,

But in this case, no ID's on any birth fathers.

But it is not gonna be easy, folks.

But it just got me thinking. And there's so many kids in foster care.

But it's difficult work.

But just hearing him say it out loud: "We're never having children."

But look how much fun everybody's having.

But no matter how hard I pushed them away,

But no matter what we do, I... I can't...

But no matter what we do, Jake just wants to hang out in his room,

But now they're called rescue dogs and everybody wants one.

But now you're here and you are stuck with us.

But our baby has to be our blood.

But she's really... she's not a house, Pete.

But that food throwing has stopped!

But that's not you, it's me. I thought I just covered all that.

But the Muskies are not abusive or evil.

But the one connection

But then those two... very special people came along.

But these kids, I think they're really good. We got lucky.

But things have been a little chaotic around here, and we need things to be normal.

But we all need to keep in mind that until the kids are adopted,

But we can take you through the eight week foster parenting course,

But we got a plan to work on that too. I'm not saying we're perfect parents.

But we have every color of kid in the system.

But we have to try, people.

But why don't you calm down

But with no family to help me pick a college,

But you know what I do like to do?

But you really love cheeseburgers.

But you're gonna have to get used to it once in a while, okay?

But you're just about to piss me off!

Buy yourselves some souvenirs and junk food.

By the authority vested in me by the state of California,

By way of a bedroom window?

Bye, Brenda. Great job. Amazing. All right, Kit, bye.

Bye, guys. Nice to meet you.

Bye, Meatball.

Bye, sweetie.

Bye! Bye! Thank you!

Bye.

Calm down. I'm gonna fix her, okay? Here you go. See?

Can I get one? I haven't gotten a single hug from you since I've known you.

Can I put my bears in there?

Can we just get out of here, you coward?

Can we just take a moment, calm down, and take a few breaths?

Can you please get off the counter, honey? It's dangerous.

Careful with your foot, Juan. Bye, Lita.

Chattin' up all her middle school BFFs.

Check it out. I put the storage at the end of the island, like you suggested.

Clearly, it's not for them. Let's just flip this one, El.

Come here, Daddy. You too, Mama.

Come here, Son.

Come in, look around.

Come on, baby.

Come on, buddy, suck it up. It's a little snafu, okay?

Come on, buddy. You haven't touched your pasta.

Come on, guys. Don't be sad on our last night.

Come on, Jessie. You're losing her.

Come on, kids, we are going in the living room.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Give me a hug, Charlie.

Come on. I'm getting him.

Come, mi amor.

Congratulations, guys. I'm so happy for you.

Conscientious. Picking up trash.

Cool. Thanks.

Could you just give us a few minutes, please?

Create an open concept through the kitchen.

Dad?

Damaged goods?

Damn it.

Definitely starting to hate me a bit less, right?

Did it come in a big box?

Did you accost a 14 year old honor student in the same school yard

Did you feel a cosmic connection?

Did you flush, sweetie?

Did you go to her house? What if something happened to her?

Did you hear that? I just got my first "Daddy"!

Did you not know that? 'Cause they're really here.

Did you say something, Juan?

Did you see their shoes? We might want to take them to the mall tomorrow.

Dirk? Would you consider siblings?

Dirk. We'll see you in the classes, buddy. Bye, guys. Hey.

Do I look like a flower?

Do you guys want to come in?

Do you happen to know anybody named Jacob

Do you wanna put posters on the wall, paint it?

Do you wish to adopt Juan, Lita, and Lizzy into your family today?

Does that mean Santa comes here?

Don't be ridiculous. I should never have left the nail gun there.

Don't forget, when Lizzy was ten her mother would disappear for weeks at a time,

Don't say "pound," don't say "dog." Just don't.

Don't shut that door. I mean it!

Don't talk back, you little beaner!

Don't worry, pal. Lizzy will show her the way we do the cheese for you

Eeeww!

El, you can't take some offhanded remark I made

El, you okay?

Ellie looks dehydrated. She looks bad.

Ellie, people who take in foster kids are really special.

Ellie, you gotta learn some Spanish.

Ellie.

End up homeless, addicted, incarcerated, or dead within two years.

Even if I think the guy's a pissant and he's not good enough for my little girl.

Ever since her mother's boyfriend started her on meth when she was 11.

Everybody get ready for dinner.

Everybody knows you can't have people over when you're grounded.

Everybody's avoiding them like they're dipped in shit. I'm just gonna go say hi.

Everything's gonna work out great too.

Ew!

Exactly. And we know that the most important thing in the world to you

Except instead of grieving...

Excuse me. I'm talking to you.

Eyes closed.

Fifteen year old girls should never be naked, ever!

For a displaced child...

For a Miss Carla Viara.

For Juan, Lita, and Lizzy at this time?

For what it's worth, I heard what you guys did in there.

Fosters.

Fourteen? Oh, my God!

French doors to the garden.

Friggin' related.

Fun fact: that's actually how you can spot a foster kid.

Get CPS to come, make your little brother and sister pack up their court bears

Get out of here!

Get out! Move your ass! Come on!

Get out. Now.

Get some presents maybe.

Get some sleep, kids.

Give me the phone! Let go!

Go mingle with the kiddies and don't give it another thought, okay?

Go potty, put your shoes on. We're gonna go, okay?

God forbid we actually try to parent the little ones. No, no, that's her territory.

God, it's so weird.

God, look at the big kids over there.

God!

God! She's taking naked selfies in the bathroom!

God. Mmm!

Good job, Michael.

Good luck with that one. She thinks she's better than everybody.

Good morning, folks.

Good night, buddy.

Good night, buddy.

Good night, honey.

Good night, Mommy.

Good night!

Good night!

Good night.

Good one.

Good. Good.

Good. Now can we just go inside so we can talk about this?

Grab... Hold it. Keep it over the sink, please.

Gracias.

Grandma Sandy has an announcement to make.

Grandma Sandy's in the house. We can begin.

Great. Yeah, I just... I have so many feelings.

Guess what? We got a ride in a police car.

Guys, Mom's here.

Guys.

Ha ha ha.

Had now four visits with their birth mom?

Hands, hands, hands. Thank you.

Have a couple kids without the pregnancy and the hormones and the... the rage.

Have a good day, folks. Thanks. Bye bye.

Have a seat, and I'll... Yeah.

Having the love of your own beautiful children rather than...

He doesn't need a phone.

He just said you guys were never gonna have kids. Then you did a definite look.

He looks like an artistic type, like you said.

He's gonna have to leave a note.

He's got it too.

He's more of like an artsy, old soul type.

He's on a Zamboni. Come on!

Hell of a lot cheaper than in vitro too.

Hell, you might even tip over that damn yogurt machine

Hello, Juan.

Hello, Lita.

Hello! Hey, help, please.

Hello. My name is October Ross Jennings.

Her inspirational, heartwarming goddamn speech

Here she is.

Here you go, brother. Thanks, man.

Here you go.

Here's a hundred.

Here's an idea. What if we adopt a five year old?

Hey, buddy, what's your name?

Hey, buddy.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, El. I got the towel samples you wanted for the kitchen.

Hey, guys. Wow, you really like cardboard boxes, huh?

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey. We have news.

Hey, hey. What's up?

Hey, I wanted to say thank you for watching them while I was...

Hey, Jan, Jerry. They're here.

Hey, Juan, Lita, come on!

Hey, Juan, what did you say?

Hey, kids, dinner!

Hey, Lizzy, if you ever want to talk about anything...

Hey, Lizzy, this one's for you too.

Hey, Mr. Hendrickson, go long!

Hey, next time...

Hey, number three, where's your mother?

Hey, sweetie. I brought the car.

Hey, thank you.

Hey, what the hell's going on out here?

Hey, what's that? Oh!

Hey, what's the matter?

Hey, you ever touch, text, or think about our daughter ever again,

Hey, you're not going anywhere. Stop right there!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Did you have fun?

Hey! Do not get in that car. You hear me?

Hey! Hey, you!

Hey! Lizzy, Lizzy, please! Lizzy, no, okay? I've got this.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Excuse me! Heads up!

Hey. Hey, baby.

Hey. Hey, Dad. Wake up, wake up. Wake up!

Hey. Hey, hey, buddy.

Hey. How's it going?

Hey. I don't know if you guys remember us.

Hey. I'm Ellie.

Hey. I've got a car seat for Lita if you don't have one.

Hey. It's okay, sweetie. Did you have a bad dream?

Hey. Mom!

Hey. What's wrong?

Hey. You gotta wait for your turn, buddy.

Hey. You miss me?

Hi, honey. Here we are.

Hi, I'm Sue. I'm Carla's caseworker.

Hi, Jacob.

Hi, Mom.

Hi!

Hi!

Hi!

Hi!

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. I don't know the whole context of everything.

Hi. I'm Ellie. Nice to meet you.

Him? That redhead kid right there? The kid with the soup can for a...?

Hmm?

Ho ho! Double shot!

Hold my hand. Gonna be a little pinch. Look at me.

Holy shit. There they are.

Holy...

Honey, come on. Jeez.

Honey, put those down for me. Thank you.

Honey, she's not joking.

Honey, when we saw her, it was obvious.

Honey? Right, El?

How do you know my uterus is perfect? We've never even tried to have kids.

How is the new school?

How many photos did you take? What is wrong with you?

How's your foot? You okay? You okay if I call you "Son"?

Huh. Turns out Lizzy's mom is finishing a sentence in county jail.

I actually think this group has got the grit to face some unpleasant...

I agree.

I also understand that you've been sober for the last five months.

I always thought that I'd be a mom someday.

I am always the bad guy because you're never there.

I am so sorry about the Blind Side comment.

I beg to differ.

I bought it for her. It was only four bucks.

I bought? You loved it too. And that's not even the point.

I can tell by looking at you that not all y'all are gonna make it.

I can tell.

I can't get over it. They look just like normal kids.

I could barf all over the ground because it's so nauseating!

I could just eat you two up! And how's my baby boy?

I crossed a boundary there.

I didn't hit her!

I didn't hit him, okay? I never have hit him.

I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry.

I didn't take your phone! No, I didn't!

I didn't want to take it out, just in case.

I don't care. I said no. That's not happening, okay?

I don't know if I can get pregnant.

I don't know, and you're not talking.

I don't know, I just thought when we met our kids

I don't know, maybe next time you guys...

I don't know. They're just so cute.

I don't know. You just seem like a Nazi bitch.

I don't mean to push, but it just opens up so many more opportunities.

I don't think she's getting on board with the plan, honey.

I don't want this.

I feel bad, like we're breaking up a family.

I felt like I was... I felt like I was babysitting other people's kids.

I found this adoption agency. They're having an orientation next week.

I got here early, Lizzy saw me, and she came over and just starts talking.

I got on Lizzy just last night when she wouldn't clean up after dinner!

I got the whole family tickets to Six Flags!

I got you, um...

I grew up a lot like that kid.

I had to search myself

I hate it.

I have a...

I have played 150 games of Candy Land with Lita.

I have this really great detangler. You want me to...?

I I It's just... Is it a problem...

I just get worried

I just thought 'cause of the gay guys' conceiving joke that we were...

I just wanted to apologize for what I wrote to the judge.

I just wanted to have the Avatar talk. Now we did, so I'm good.

I knew it wasn't gonna work with her.

I know it sounds... I know everyone's going through tough stuff.

I know it's Christmastime and you may have memories and things.

I know Juan and Lita are more like what you had in mind when you got into this.

I know she's getting these texts. I can see the dots.

I know that I have a place to go to eat turkey and be thankful.

I know you don't like this,

I know you feel sorry for me right now, but you really don't have to...

I know, but we were always so broke.

I know, I know, but she kind of... She looks okay.

I know, I know, but we wanted to.

I know.

I know. I just...

I know. I love that part. I do love that part. That's the only good part.

I know. I think it's awful. But they're teenagers, okay?

I left it there for her with a nice little note, with hearts on it and stuff.

I like it. It's really... dope.

I like the way she says her J's.

I love frozen yogurt.

I love the big rides. You want to go on the...

I love the bunny 'cause she has a skirt.

I love the movie.

I love this song.

I mean it. Don't open that door.

I mean, I get it. We adopted our dog Meatball, and we love him like crazy, but...

I mean, is that true?

I mean, our food rations, the blast radius.

I mean, Sharon said she's been clean for four months.

I mean, that is the plot of The Blind Side, so...

I mean, the tantrums, the messes, the attitude.

I mean, this is what we do.

I mean, unless you want to.

I mean, we did not get it at first,

I mean, we wanted to meet... Oh, my gosh.

I mean, we were all being supportive to your faces, but...

I mean, yes, we would look like the worst people in the world, but...

I mean, Your Honor.

I need you to think about something that really pisses you off.

I never get tired of watching white people fight.

I never said anything, but I'm thankful to hear this.

I never said the word "bitchy." It was her word, not mine.

I pronounce you a family.

I quit bringing it up because every time I did, you'd say it's not the right time.

I said that, Your Honor, but again,

I saw her... Oh, right there.

I saw what you wrote to her: "If you don't show me something, I'm gonna lose interest."

I see that you've been keeping up with your visits. That's good.

I swear they look like brother and sister. I can't tell them apart.

I swear to God, I'm gonna get pregnant again this afternoon just to spite you.

I think I have to take a crap.

I think maybe it's okay for a five year old to have a cell phone.

I think our kids made us realize just what kind of a rut we were in before.

I think she's just trying to say that we needed a new challenge,

I think so.

I think they might be recognizing a little bit of a honeymoon period.

I think we should take Lita to the lobby.

I think we're gonna be late for school.

I think, uh...

I thought it was the person who sent her the...

I thought maybe we could speak with her, and she'd get us pumped up like before.

I walked them through some of my better bird watching stories.

I wanna know what's going on, Karen.

I want my chips!

I want you guys to meet Pete and Ellie.

I was never into the cute ones either.

I was trying to leave in a car and I wasn't supposed to,

I would be thankful to know why you all have a problem with this.

I would like you all to know that thousands of children

I...

I'll ask. You guys are overthinking this.

I'll go get her. You watch the kids.

I'll just wait outside. Okay.

I'll tell you what's not normal, is your kids not knowing what Six Flags is.

I'll visit all the time and you can call me if you need help for anything.

I'm calling it. Yours is dead.

I'm David, and this is my wife, Jessie.

I'm deleting everything here! Delete, delete, delete.

I'm getting my nose watery and...

I'm gonna be honest with you, all right?

I'm gonna be late for school, you know.

I'm gonna beat you!

I'm gonna find this Jacob kid and get to the bottom of this, okay?

I'm gonna get a hamper next time.

I'm gonna sue you, man! You're not even her parents!

I'm good. I...

I'm Grammy "Hw an" and this is Grandpa "Hw erry."

I'm happy. I am. I...

I'm just going to say hello. I know. I don't think we should do that.

I'm just gonna go check on Lita.

I'm just saying there used to be a stigma about getting a dog from the pound,

I'm not gonna apologize for working.

I'm not gonna push you into it.

I'm not saying she's a house like the way I said the dog thing in there,

I'm one eighth Comanche, okay? So I'm not that white!

I'm Pete.

I'm really gonna miss them.

I'm really thankful for that too.

I'm sick of looking at that. To hell with it. I'm going over there.

I'm so exci... Are you excited?

I'm so sor... We... We're terrible people. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry you have to carry all your stuff in these awful bags.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I feel terrible. I, uh...

I'm so sorry. It's not my fault.

I'm so sorry. Oh, God. I'm so sorry, honey.

I'm so sorry. Uh, I shouldn't have left this out.

I'm so sorry. You are so right.

I'm sor... I am. Just then I was. But it's... Look.

I'm sorry if we're not as politically correct as you guys,

I'm sorry, did I...?

I'm sorry, sweetie. I thought we were really connecting.

I'm Stewart. You probably... You... What's up?

I'm sure that's not accurate.

I'm thankful for my beautiful grandchildren,

I'm thrilled she even likes him. I totally pegged her for the bad boys.

I've never seen it. So, please, it's your turn. Just do not talk to me anymore.

If she thinks our statement's the reason her mom doesn't get custody,

If she's hostile with you again, maybe try using the three R's.

If this place is so great, why don't you guys move in here?

If we just stay calm and we work together,

If we say "yes," they're in our house next week.

If you don't quit being so nuts about this baby thing,

If you put the doll back, I'll get you a giant ice cream sundae.

In any case, I'd love to set up a visitation,

In any case, we have this. It's fine.

In case I have to grab the wheel or shut down the power, okay?

In the middle of the night when we're asleep."

In your heart of hearts,

Including the... the very lucky kids

Install some countertops in the form of love or self esteem, whatever.

Is anybody interested in playing with the giant dollhouse it took three hours to assemble?

Is between siblings.

Is it accurate that you left Juan and Lita alone in your car

Is she up there studying? Hey, Brenda, you gonna come down?

Is that her real mom? Yeah, that's a harsh move.

Is that still the case?

Is the reason we signed up for this shit show in the first place!

Is this that kid Jacob you were talking about?

Is this that kid Jacob's house? Is that where we're going?

Is to protect Juan and Lita from the things nobody protected you from.

It doesn't need any more kids.

It was a bit aggressive. It was a little bit out of line.

It was a joke.

It was a little out of context maybe, but there's no hard feelings.

It was all true.

It was good. I needed it. I haven't been slapped for a long time.

It was Juan, Lita, and Lizzy."

It was just a nice thought.

It was my fault. I walked away, and I left the gun there.

It was so smart to get rid of Blake Griffin. That was a great trade for them.

It wasn't their fault. They didn't do anything.

It'd be like I got cracking when I was 36. How about that?

It's a foster joke.

It's a nice thought, but we're...

It's gonna be long and weird.

It's gonna be really pretty. But not too revealing. Super sweet.

It's good. It's like... It's, um... It's school.

It's got nothing to do with what just happened.

It's just a visitation. So...

It's just all of this is a little scary, right?

It's just the song that's got me a little emotional.

It's messed up, I know, but the county puts these on

It's nice to see Lita and Juan get presents

It's not a good trait, guys.

It's not a potluck.

It's not easy to find empathy for them.

It's not fair. That is not...

It's not just she, it's we. And we are. Very serious.

It's not that progressive, but no problem.

It's okay, buddy.

It's okay. I'm sorry too.

It's okay. No. Just tell them.

It's okay. Well, I'm Kit and this is Michael.

It's small, but it works... Your Honor.

It's so clean and quiet in here.

It's the look. She's doing the look. I gotta get some ketchup.

It's very unprofessional.

J... acob.

Jacob. J...

Jesus, that is a trout!

Juan and I bonded over Rocky III.

Juan hit me!

Juan started playing piano. Right, buddy?

Juan, drop it right now!

Juan, Lita, and Lizzy,

Juan, Lita, this is Sandy. This is Pete's mom.

Juan, Lita.

Juan, we're gonna clean this off, give you a little anesthetic,

Juan, what did you say?

Juan, what did you say?

Juan, where did you put my phone?

Juan!

Juan!

Juan! Did you say something? Juan!

Juan. Lita.

Juan. Lita. Come on.

Judging by Lizzy's statement, you might be back in court soon enough,

Just an idea.

Just FYI, we can all hear you.

Just let me talk to her, please,

Just like... really, that gorgeous sweet spot.

Just put the knife down, honey.

Just put them on.

Just sign in, and take this form with you

Just stay there, Juan.

Just to clarify,

Karen had to take them to a temporary placement for the night.

Karen is not advocating vandalism in the workplace.

Karen, we've had plenty of fathers who have stepped up,

Keep your end straight, will you?

Kid shows up, you figure it out. Easy peasy.

Leaving Lizzy to parent Juan and Lita all by herself.

Lego!

Let her go with her friends.

Let me just smooth it out for you.

Let's get in the house right away, really quick.

Let's get ready for the tub.

Let's go! Let's go!

Let's make them feel welcome.

Let's see it. Bust that shit up.

Let's try some of this meat loaf, okay?

Like Brian Hendrickson's dad.

Like just take one look at them and just know, like when you and me met.

Like The Blind Side. Like the movie. Right? That's great.

Like, four...

Listen, guys, right now, you're all they've got.

Listen, we're not gonna sugarcoat it, okay?

Lita is a... a wild, rowdy kid,

Lita won't eat anything but potato chips.

Lita, come on, get your stuff.

Lita, don't do what Lizzy said. What did you say? C uatro? "Go to your bedroom"?

Lita, duck!

Lita, honey, did you go potty?

Lita, stay right there!

Lita.

Little Juanny's upchucking in the trash bin!

Lizzy gave you the look and you caved.

Lizzy made it for me. You didn't get one?

Lizzy, can we go home now?

Lizzy, can we put the phone away while we're at the table, like we talked about?

Lizzy, honey, we do know you.

Lizzy, I know you're angry.

Lizzy, she's treating us like we're the enemy.

Lizzy, want me to show you your room?

Lizzy!

Lizzy!

Lizzy.

Lizzy.

Lizzy. Let's just... Let's... Let's try something else.

Lizzy. Pete and I worked really hard on this dinner.

Look at 'em. They don't have any emotional holes to fill.

Look at the way Lizzy's looking at her.

Look, kid, just put down the weapon, okay?

Look, Lizzy's mom is a product of the system

Look, we can't start turning on each other here.

Look, you're overthinking it, bro. None of my kids were planned.