Louis Theroux Soundboard Edit

A 23 year old Asian woman, Paris waters had seen an ad in the newspaper. That was how Jim got many of his walk-ins. His ads generally said figure models wanted you went up thinking.

A bell rang to announce that the ship would soon be departing. Jimmy saw us out of the cabin and we passed a smiling crew member carrying a jacket with gold epaulets and a peaked naval cap.

A bizarre piece of happenstance. A lightning strike of misfortune that zapped Neil and Christine Hamilton led to events that we were lucky enough to be around to document.

A Blizzard of requests went out trumpeting my non tabloid approach and 6 million viewers responses varied. Silence was a common one also polite demurral.

A businessman put his briefcase into the closing metal doors of a train trying to force it open, but instead the doors gripped the bag and the train took off for a moment, the man jogged alongside.

A director named Ed Robbins came on a thoughtful and urbane collaborator of a slightly older generation. E's strength was a contemplative approach, a feel for mood and nuance.

A family impression had me quailing after my mother. Ah ba.

A fantasist she had been visiting sex chat sites and became convinced that two of the people she conversed with Lord and Lady Hamilton were Neil and Christine smelling a financial opportunity she'd.

A few days later, I returned to the studio apartment to find the message light on the machine flashing.

A few days went by. We filmed a sequence of Christine getting her hair done at a salon in Mayfair called Michael, John and another of me and Neil working out together on a trim trail in Battersea P...

A few hours after they'd gone in the Hamiltons emerged, Michael Coleman gave a statement.

A few months after those first four episodes went out in May 1998, I moved back to the UK.

A few months afterwards, I was approached at a party in a friendly way by someone who described himself as a fan. He'd loved the first four weird weekends.

A few tables along a husband and wife team from Washington State, Liara and Dan Clausing were selling ingenic medallions. Little stone rings on cords to enhance your.

A few weeks in they let me have a small column. The police report where I wrote quirky articles about the city, an interview with a Jamaican psychic who was predicting an earthquake in the Bay Area...

A few weeks later I flew to Atlanta to see Sarge, the trainer at the power plant for a follow up interview and what had been planned as a lighthearted workout session with some of the wrestlers in ...

A few weeks later, I called up as myself.

A gentleman does not fucking ask a lady why she has not had children. He told me with some heat, albeit erroneously, given that I hadn't in fact asked that question.

A heavyset lady in an orange kimono that was opened to reveal a generous helping of cleavage.

A Hispanic woman who gave her name as Catalina was in a beige business suit.

A house on Helsinge Road felt mysterious and grant organised over 4 stories with weird nooks and drafty sash windows and creaky stairs and folding shutters.

A little later he led us into his bedroom where we found more racist pictures. One showed a cartoon of a petrified looking black boy, grand dragon. Michael said he was planning to put it on a T-shirt.

A little later I said my goodbyes and drove back to my hotel with the crew.

A little later I went to the loo. Will came in to have a covert conference and then possibly feeling a little emotional himself. He did an impression of Neil Hamilton masturbating onto someone at a...

A little later, having done my interview with Pastor Butler, I left the headquarters of Aryan Nations and returned to England. Time passed and I moved on to other stories, but occasionally I found ...

A little later, the camera operator, an older guy from the Bay Area, sought me out.

A masques for deeper and more insidious forms of power.

A minor note in the history of this business, Margold said.

A month or two on, and Louis Theroux's weird weekends was postponed, possibly indefinitely, and I was making my new life as a comedy writer in LA.

A news in turn. My duties involve fact checking articles, undertaking bits of research for other writers, transcribing tapes and pottering around, looking confused.

A pair of middle-aged women who said they'd been his girlfriends in the late 60s had got in touch by letter shortly after when Louis met. Jimmy originally aired. The letter was from both of them. L...

A pimp named Mellow tea? Who was pursuing a career as a gangsta rapper?

A rare instance of someone being sexually inappropriate to Jimmy Saville.

A reunion tour.

A search on that name revealed a number of books for sale on the Internet of which he was a co-author.

A series that for some reason had the name of a non entity in its title.

A sign said God has a plan for homosexuals. AIDS is the beginning.

A six month trip around the states catching up with ten of my most intriguing ex interviewees. An update on both them and their weird worlds.

A small handful made it into the pantheon of commissioned episodes of weird weekends.

A UFO believer named Thor Templar who claimed to have killed 10 aliens.

A visit to a pub where a local scallywag flashed Jimmy on camera.

A woman about whom they knew little had alleged that Neil and Christine had ****d her at a swingers party in Ilford in Essex.

A woman who was plainly mentally ill wandered into the building and began asking me questions about the space brothers, which I didn't feel well qualified to answer.

A woman, probably in her 30s, was smiling at me with a daffy air of free spirited bonhomie that seemed to invite further inquiry.

A word that got used a lot about me was boisterous.

A wrestler named Randy Macho Man Savage walked past Incognito in dark glasses and a tight black T-shirt.

A young porn performer who worked under the name J Michaels.

About the postmodern moment. But unlike those books, it was also very funny.

Adam, cuddly and ingratiating was an obsessive diarist, a Bowie fan, and maker of Compies compilation tapes of music for friends.

After a cup of tea at the Ottley Cafe, we drove back to Jimmy's penthouse. Now off camera, Jimmy struck me as more direct, less playful. He talked about TV longevity in for some reason, Ruby.

After a few days of importuning on my part, I prevailed on her to think about her own creative projects, a book she was working on. Her lack of funds in a purely pragmatic way. It made sense.

After a few days, the story ebbed away. The accuser who went by Nadine Milroy Sloane, but whose real name was Emily Checkfield, turned out to be a troubled young woman from Grimsby.

After a lifetime of cloisters and Victorian suburbs, I saw exoticism and romance in San Jose's anomie, an unplanned sprawl. It seemed utterly different to anything I'd.

After dinner, we took a taxi back to Jimmy'z. I had turned in early for an uneasy sleep on a 2 narrow bed in a spare room full of Knick knacks, a cuddly lion, a portable Sony TV, a try.

After his father's death, he'd taken to wearing his wedding ring on the third finger of his right hand. His mother had died a few years after, and Jimmy had once memorably described the five days h...

After I got back I fell ill possibly related to the stress of the preceding week. I called in to say I was unwell.

After protracted negotiation, the WCW PR Guy and Elton John lookalike, called Alan Sharpe, had permitted us to stand at the entrance to the dressing room interviewing the dribble of wrestlers as th...

After San Jose, New York had taken some adjustment. The slow paced, super sized farm town was no preparation for the noise and scale of Gotham. The asperity of the people.

After some pro forma compliments about the excitement of what had just seen, I said.

After that first visit, we stayed in touch by phone for a few years. Then one day his contact details no longer worked.

After that it had all gone a little quiet, though Chris had mentioned the Millennium segment, it had been offered to Merrill Marco, the author and comedian who had been a writer on late night with ...

After that it was second album syndrome.

After that, seeming to feel he'd made his point, Sarge disappeared.

After that, the plan had been to visit JJ on the set of a film called forced Entry, a **** themed film which was being shot by Rob Black, a young director who was carving out a niche.

After the Big Bucks show business of the WCW, the AI WF was a different proposition.

After the days of Jimmy's evasions, the idea of the Duchess's wardrobe felt solid. Something properly odd that Jimmy would have trouble dancing around.

After the ease of getting to Jimmy Saville and Paul and Debbie, the feeling was it should be straightforward to get some more episodes under way.

After the encounter back at the hotel, the sound recordist came up to me. He looked a little pale.

After the four episodes of weird weekends as a piester resistance, we watched when Louis met Jimmy.

After the press conference, surrounded by a scrum of journalists, we climbed back into Michael Coleman's car. Christine put the car window down and I leaned back so the photographers could get a co...

After the profile of Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee, he called to complain you are a Formula One car you never got out of bleeding first gear.

After the race war, when we were all on other planets, maybe we can keep in touch by phone.

After the shell suit went, he adopted a Velvet Underground look, black jeans, dark glasses, tight T-shirts over his skinny torso, usually A roll up in hand.

After the success of the Jimmy Saville programme, and then another profiling the magician Paul Daniels and his wife Debbie McGee Word had come down from executives at the BBC that I should focus on...

After Tower House, Westminster was a definite improvement. We joined the second-half of the 20th century and the only odd thing looking back is that our parents should have sent us off to board ins...

After two days fired finally appeared, taking us on a tour of a central staircase that he had expensively remodelled on an Egyptian theme.

Afterwards, I remember feeding the chute had been successful. Certainly we'd had our share of explosive arguments.

Afterwards, I was a little deflated.

Afterwards, off camera Chris said to me, though, you got what you wanted.

Again, I noticed this then rationalized it as a bit of Jimmy Saville provocation, disguising a deeper truth to do with his view of women as irrational.

Age 15 I knew 20 different sexual positions by name and the effect of most illegal drugs, but I had never touched a girl's breast or smoked a joint.

Ah, insincerity your speciality.

Ah, yes, said a voice. You glue it on your gas tank. It works using energy rays. It changes the structure of the gas, improves your gas mileage. 20 to 40% costs one.

Alas, having had the one idea involving dead heads for Doll, I struggled to come up with anything else.

Alas, it turns out insulting high profile industry leaders and celebrities on a monthly basis in a glossy magazine is not a long term business strategy. By the time I arrived, the.

All of the segments were supposed to serve the show's political agenda of advancing socialism.

All of these details I hope to reflect somehow in our program and they crowded in my mind looking for a chance to join the conversation, but I was underslept after the night in the guest bed and a ...

All of this might have made her unlikable, but some found her uncompromising and anti diluvian moral outlook appealing, possibly because of the unlikeliness of her physical appearance, tiny.

All of which also shouldn't cloud the inconvenient fact that Jimmy Savile's company when he dialed down the Savile isms and was on his home turf of his penthouse could be quite pleasant.

All out war.

All the attention and the sense of approval had a paradoxical effect, making me wonder about before. Did people not like the shows then?

All the excitement it created at the BBC. Among my executives, higher ups.

All the technology they possess, the space brothers is entirely in advance of anything we know, Charles said.

All these peculiarities, its soullessness the indistinguishable strip malls the gun stores and fast food places, franchise outlets, and the weird, scattered non belonging of people.

All three of these articles were imbued with a combination of emotions, finding human qualities of pathos and warmth, and on occasion an almost mythic level of commitment to causes that were.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does and that is his.

All you have to do is say shit or something like that. It's just more fun like this. I said it's tantalizing.

Almost heaven lay on a small plateau 200 acres divided into 30 or so lots. A motley scattering of unprepossessing homes.

Along with the vaguely hippieish ethos, went a certain relaxing of the rules on monogamy.

Alongside our production he was also working on a BBC funded film with Michael Moore, which would later come out as the big one.

Also surprising was his manner of speech, which was mumbled and unself conscious, still recognizably him but a more understated version.

Also with Zaca took a role in a production of ritual for dolls and allegorical play about repressed Victorian society written in 1970 featuring children's toys.

Always there was a hunger for ideas to the point where what else you got Michael's question to a writer or producer who was pitching him became an office catch phrase.

Among my friends and colleagues, the prevailing attitude seemed to be that I should feel lucky to land such a scoop. A few going so far as to suggest I'd been part of making up the allegations to h...

Among the other people he bruited as candidates for profiles were then manager of Leeds United Football Club, David O'Leary, the singer Lulu, the Romany impressionist, Joe Longthorne and the Kray b...

Among those I aroused was the future Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Nick Clegg.

An antagonistic approach which could end up being ugly and unkind.

An app called Leanne went up to Leeds to visit Jimmy at his penthouse for a wrecky to test his appetite for filming. It was surprising in a way that he agreed to do a wrecky, which is basically a k...

An economist and disciple of Milton Friedman, Lord Harris had a comical Tweedy air about him. He seemed a man born out of time. He should have been stepping out of a flying machine smoking a pipe.

An elusive self-help guru named Marshall Silver and as a wild card, the turbulent band leader Ike Turner.

An embassy aide reaching over, for some pepperoni said, I think I would like a slice of Monten**** because my mother is from there.

An hour before Showtime, he would take five or six aspirin to thin his blood tape. Little raises to his thumbnail, and then once in the ring lacerate his forehead out of sight of the crowd to make.

An intern again. My duties involve photocopying and stapling gossip packs culled from the five or six New York newspapers, and also doing research for the editors occasionally.

An old timer called Rowdy Roddy Piper, also in dark glasses and a leather jacket asked me my name, then mishearing it, said Louis Leroux.

And a drunken night with Mike Ayala, the underground hippie those days stay with me as a redemption from all the doubt that preceded them.

And also had to send David Mortimer an e-mail telling him to postpone production on Louis Theroux's weird weekends. I was aware it was tricky emotional ground that it could be construed.

And also performed a short monologue for an MTV pilot which wasn't used either. This was completely fine as I wasn't sure why they'd asked me to do the monologue, but they also hadn't invited me to...

And another about a makeover show for homeless people. That one was produced but bombed so badly in front of audiences in rehearsal that it was also tossed out.

And another when I pointed out an attractive woman who may have been in her 30s or 40s and his response was grandma.

And even those positive attributes are brought to the production were accidental much of the time a certain quality of ingenuousness, or maybe gormless that one people over a willingness to get inv...

And handing it in to a man in a room with tin foil on the windows.

And he began prepping me for what to say to Michael.

And his connection to Chequers, which he said was only four miles from Stoke Mandeville.

And his friends in high places. Margaret Thatcher the royal family.

And I did a couple of print interviews.

And I got Sarah to read the message to make sure I'd struck the right tone.

And I thought here I am aged 47. Still making a fool of myself for the purposes of a TV show, creating connections in unlikely places in a spirit in which the boundaries between.

And if you don't have a benevolent dictator, you have a tyrant.

And in a positive way, emerging from the fog of my own indoctrination, I felt what was probably a salutary urge to make something of myself to separate myself from my family to prove.

And in fact, my obsession with authenticity, while it occasionally went overboard, was probably my greatest asset when I looked back at what worked in that first episode about militias and survival...

And of course we will speak together eye to eye, face to face or whatever, probably before the next Millennium, but who knows?

And one part of me saw it this way, but another greater part was dubious. Suspecting that the transformation was not wholly earned and therefore not really mine.

And references to himself as a mob boss, the Godfather and El Capo de tutti Capi, which he pronounced in Yorkshire Neapolitan.

And so I found myself enduring the indignity of straining to understand a long stumbling rendition of an unfavourable review down a transatlantic phone line.

And so without quite realizing it, I entered into a strange, mutually parasitic quasi friendship, quasi deep cover investigation into his dark side.

And so, alongside the opportunistic outings up to Leeds for interviews to promote programs and DVDs was another motivation to keep U with Jimmy. The idea of generating copy from my diary.

And so, in this spirit, not quite knowing how committed we were to one another, but carrying on regardless, we found a new apartment in a semi desolate but supposedly up and coming area of Brooklyn.

And someone remarked on the ridiculousness of the lyric about eating purple berries.

And spy itself.

And the crew would follow behind.

And then at the hotel, we'll approach me with the air of someone with a secret.

And then it was all over.

And then it was my turn group two was called and what after all was I doing here? If I wasn't going to get involved?

And then on occasion the unexpected happens and your contributors are accused of a bizarre sexual assault at a swingers party in Ilford.

And then the name of Jimmy Saville came up.

And there had been one or two suggestions of non mainstream romantic practices including an Oxford student who'd gone public to say that during a speaking engagement at the university, Christine ha...

And they said all right, Jim, you didn't give him half enough and they never nicked me for it. And I never altered.

And to be fair, seriously, why was I being offered a network TV job? Weird looking gawky, socially awkward, unqualified, anxious 23 years old.

And truth be told, it was also just something I enjoyed the release from my normal existence and sometimes an occasion to imagine myself in a wholly other life.

And two stories about the militiamen and survivalists in Idaho and Montana, one by Philip Weiss, another by William T Vollmann that depicted them as rather romantic figures. Confused idea.

And was by turns comical and self deprecating. Friendly and unhinged.

And was hosted by the comedian Dennis Miller, though he was never around until we taped several of the other writers had come over from a live chat show Miller hosted which was dark over the summer.

And we'll filmed, while a contagion of irrationality, rampaged outside.

And what was wrong with the lyric about eating purple berries?

And what will it be?

And Whitcomb was a difficult subject for me, for very different reasons. The documentaries that had tended to work best so far were those that placed me as a straight man in a strange world in subc...

And will it be on Earth?

And without me wanting it to the embarrassing parts of my brain began entertaining all sorts of visions of grandiose success with Baftas, dancing around in a conga line.

And yet I was also very worried, prone finding causes for anxiety in the most unlikely scenarios that I would never be able to read and write that I'd be unable to pay my taxes when I was grown up ...

And yet, as much as I liked to flatter myself, that I had a technique and knew what I was doing, I was aware that much of it was adventitious and undeserved hinging on lucky breaks and collaborators.

And you also worked in Metro. I was surprised he'd heard of Santa Clara Valley's free alternative weekly.

And you got the nerve to ask me that bullshit down at Nitro what the hell you think we're on athletes hell, we're the best athletes in the damn world.

And you've seen Roger and me, right? He will definitely ask you about it. It's your favorite film.

Anne had brought her mother, Rita, who was as cheeky and playful as Anne was stolid and withholding, and also a female friend of Singaporean heritage, whose name I don't recall. No sapphic.

Anne's eccentricity was more low key, genteel, rather than outlandish. She was not a performer or a light entertainment turn. She was a politician. The world of Westminster and MP's.

Another brief lives took its cue from John Aubrey, the 17th century diarist. It would be 10 minute profiles of random weird people I found intriguing.

Another favorite phrase was you've let yourself down. He said this to me many times in particular, if he took against a line of probing, as in, you've let yourself down with that question also.

Another frequent interaction involved being complimented on shows I hadn't made. I don't just mean the title was wrong. Wacky weekends is a common misnomer, and I don't bother to correct it.

Another friend, Zach Sandler, introduced me to the world of comics. The fabulous furry freak brothers by Gilbert Sheldon, viz. And in history class, we'd compose strips doing all.

Another had written in offering to make a cup of tea for Jimmy as his fix it.

Another impression my dad used to do involve me saying, but why does the man have his mouth open? He was based on a dimly remembered incident on a bus or a train or somewhere in London.

Another involved Michael flying to Britain and buying a lordship.

Another on short billionaires calculating their adjusted height. If each 100 million was worth an extra inch.

Another strange bit of terminology was calling normal non uniform clothing shag good Lord Thiroux. Why are you in shag?

Another time he called up to chat and share a couple of jokes here. Why does Michael Barrymore not need ashtrays?

Another way of putting it would be professional celebrity, but Chris had an elevated approach to his new public position. He saw himself as a teacher and truth teller. I once read a descript.

Another, more promising Ave was the idea of a documentary portrait of an intriguing cultural figure. It had a file on Lemmy, the lead singer of Motörhead. I liked the pathos of an unregenerate Ru.

Any money Neal earned was siphoned off to pay his legal debts. Christine wasn't technically bankrupt, so she could keep her fees for media appearances.

Any other job I might have been fired at that point I realized there was an advantage to having my name in the title after all, and yet along with the feelings of doom and the embarrassment was.

Anybody who's white is welcome, Jerry said.

Anything whatever. I'm asked photocopying, phone bashing.

Are we being filmed or taped? Was the first question from Beth? And then why did it take you so long to get in touch?

Are you excited? I asked.

Are you sexually quite normal?

Are you the bloke that does that thing? Are you who I think you are? One? I didn't know how to respond to was I love the way you take the piss out of those cunts said to me by three young men from ...

Around that time, figures like Gary Glitter and Pete Townsend were being accused of downloading images of child abuse on their computers.

Around this time, Sarah and I separated. She initiated the breakup, possibly thinking a little bit of a reality check would focus my mind and shock me into a more serious commitment to my future wi...

Around.

Arriving at Oxford, I'd planned to take it easy kick back a little, start to enjoy life, go out bird dogging chicks and banging Beaver. Or if that couldn't be arranged, maybe take a long walk.

Arriving at the airport for some reason, I treated myself to a greasy breakfast. Possibly it slowed us down because when we reached the gym we were a little late.

Articles about Nazis and sexual predators felt like forbidden literature.

As an outfit, they were friendly and hospitable, flattered by the attention of a foreign film crew. Rick's boast was that they were the most extreme wrestling troupe in America. Bare barbed wire.

As an unsolicited Easter egg, it made a strange and telling counterpoint to the 0 tolerance footage Jimmy on and off. The Jimmy, who loved innocent good fellowship and the.

As before, Will was mixing 2 formats using a full crew for the bigger scenes and filming intimate scenes and after hours material on a small DV camera nicknamed the toy camera that he operate.

As for Thor, the Congress was a washout. Almost no one had heard of him or the alien resistance movement. His name drew blanks everywhere.

As funny as it was, seeing me on location in Idaho talking to a neo-Nazi, wouldn't it be twice as amusing to see a neo-Nazi interacting with a UFO contactee who was channel?

As he said this, Neil and Christine flanked him, both looking impassive.

As I grew older and my tastes became more decadent, one of my pleasures was TV that went wrong.

As I had with Jerry from time to time, I would phone or e-mail and ask how everything was going.

As I left putting on my woolly hat and stepping out into the cold dark Montana night, I said.

As I packed along with my clothes, I also had some Christmas gifts I'd bought for family members back in England.

As I said, I'm not going to go any further than I've just gone. I don't regard it as anybody else's business.

As it became clear that Karen was going to broadcast her feelings of frustration to the world.

As it became clearer that Spy was going under, I half heartedly thought about an exit plan. I wasn't sure what it would look like. I made desultory approaches to other New York magazines writing le...

As long as his most basic needs were met, unfussy, food, shelter, cigars, he considered himself well taken care of. As for the demons of loneliness, anxiety, melancholy.

As much as the shows were still viewed as Mickey taking by some, there was also enough humanity that they worked as the opposite exercises in rounding out people usually seen in two dimensions.

As my departure date for the trip drew near anxieties set in.

As our conversation went on, I began to sense that Beth and Alice had slightly different attitudes to their experience. Beth still seemed loyal to Jimmy slightly in awe of him, and keen to highligh...

As someone who took four goes to pass his driving test, I'm not sure that's true. Well, Mr threw congratulations on once again, getting feedback on your test.

As the culture of Tower House rubbed off on us, my dad noticed we were turning into little twerps

As the day wore on with our stomachs empty and no letup in the questioning, the mood became more captious and irritable. We were in danger of getting bogged down in a rhetorical slugfest, exchangin...

As the Minutes passed, there was a palpable escalation in the groaning and gyrating.

As the shoot went late, I could see the crew becoming impatient.

As the years passed and I made more episodes of my TV series, Jerry was joined in my mental scrapbook by a handful of other characters whose fates are continued to be curious about long.

As those who have been to my events before, the massage Artois, the Tantra events know I'm really into putting together events where you learn something about yourself, Cliff said.

As time went on, I saw friends making plans for their future, setting up appointments with careers advisors, going to jobs, fairs, meeting emissaries of big companies.

As to the idea of me doing a regular in my own style documentary about him voiced by me or whatever Uri was not so keen.

As unlikely as it sounded, the police were taking the accusation seriously. They'd had three months to check the information.

As was our custom in those days, we started with a tour of the place chatting as we went.

As we travelled, Leanne and Charles were wondering aloud, given the screw up, which of their various past lives they were now reliving. They couldn't seem to agree and were becoming irritable.

Assemblies up schools started with a recitation of the Lord's Prayer in Latin, pronounced in a special Westminster style, and it was said that the dining tables in College hall, a separate roof bea...

At another level, of course it made perfect sense at that level, I was neither kind, nor right, nor honest, depending on how you define those things.

At breakfast the next morning I met up with the segment producer. Hi Daniel, I said David. He said David. Of course. Yes, such an interesting subject. I said really keen to get star.

At Cliff's direction, we separated into three groups.

At dinner one evening, it may even have been after the Lord Harris visit. Neil and Christine made an elliptical reference to a new commitment, something in the diary that was causing them a lot of ...

At first I was enjoying the liveliness of the scene, the shouting and chanting. Then I got tired, and that's when things got slightly weird. It seemed it wasn't as simple as saying, right, lads, th...

At least as much as the politics. I enjoyed the weirdness and danger of the show and its writers. And in the spirit of Shakespeare's third life stage, I was seeking the bubble reputation in the car.

At marathon meetings, Michael and his wife Kathleen, who was also an exec on the show, would sit in session with the writers as producers came in for progress reports on the segments they were deve...

At one point it was mentioned that lawyers might get involved, since some of my weird weekend's ideas were similar to segments I'd pitched at TV Nation, but no suit ever materialized.

At that time they were fixtures of a low wattage celebrity circuit. Neil Hamilton, a former minister of Arch Thatcherite views, had been forced out of politics for allegedly taking bribes.

At that time, Westminster also had a system known as Fagging.

At the back of the shop there were live shows and the three of us, me, Sarah and Justin, crammed into a single booth and put quarters into a slot. A screen came down to reveal an ample smiling.

At the beginning of 1998, word came that the BBC had finally scheduled the first four episodes of weird weekends.

At the beginning of 2001 I signed a contract for a book. It was to be a kind of celebrity diary detailing my star-studded encounters the glamorous social carousel of a young TV presenter.

At the beginning of my last year at Westminster, I sat what was called fourth term, an entrance paper to study at Oxford weeks of memorization of history. Essays followed a month or two after I sat.

At the end of my first term, I struck up a romance with a fellow student. She seduced me, coming down to my bedroom half drunk one evening and saying, kiss me.

At the end of the summer, we'd fly back to London and our other lives saddled with a sense of doom.

At the end, when filming was completed, I felt we'd got away with it just about and had enough material to make an entertaining 50 minutes of television, but that we hadn't broken through the crust...

At the first lecture I went to 21 year old Jason Andrews from Kent claimed to go up in spaceships three or four times a week.

At the office I would gaze at the grandeur of the backissues fat and full of ingenious features. Eviscerations of the rich and powerful satirical takes on lazy pop cultural tropes.

At the police station we split up. Will and I waited outside while the Hamiltons went into the station to be interviewed for a while. All was quiet.

At the same time I was making enemies of the teachers. I was also, slightly paradoxically becoming increasingly fixated on work without really being conscious of it. I tried to control my.

At the same time, I enjoyed these concepts more as a spectator than as a believer in the spirit of George Orwell. When he wrote, there are some ideas so wrong that only a very intelligent person.

At the same time, I was aware that a kind of television renaissance was taking place, and particularly in the area of comedy shows like The Simpsons and Larry Sanders and Seinfeld were bringing a n...

At the same time, I'd been thinking about how much I'd enjoyed my time in the world. So the first four shows, and specifically what great characters we'd found.

At the same time, many people regarded the Hamilton's appetite for coverage as a further example of their supposed shamelessness and another count against them.

At the time I didn't have enough TV experience to know how far from being a typical show TV nation was.

At the time I took him to be saying either that he was celibate or that he had legions of lovers dotted around the country, but neither scenario seemed very plausible and I considered that the Ridd...

At the time it was great fun. Lot of laughs, but there were negatives as well, she said, looking back, I wonder if he gave a shit.

At the time we approached, they were attempting to make lemonade from the lemons of their disgrace plying their trade as professional objects of curiosity. Neil's term.

At the weekend when I had finished studying, I'd hunt for house parties among the student lodgings up and down Cowley Road, and Iffley Rd. Since his primed for any open doors and the Sound of Music...

At this bow began scrawling over great swathes of the country, ruling out areas in the tornado belt. The giant flood belt, the Blizzard zone, nuclear waste in Nevada.

At this distance, I can't recall what decided me one way or another. I just know that in December of 1992 I drove in my Honda Civic not West to Mongolia, which would have been tricky with.

Back at Michael Coleman's house, there were drinks. Christine had several fortifying glasses of wine. Then the four of us kneel and Christine will and me continued on to the Battersea Flat.

Back in the office, a meeting was convened to figure out whether it was worth continuing with the idea, me, Kevin will and my old exec David, who came down from the lofty citadel of his new job.

Back in the office, I told David about the conversation. He turned out to be a trove of Weird Jimmy Saville facts.

Based in Mount Airy, NC, quintessential small town America and supposedly the real life model for the fictional Mayberry of the Andy Griffith show, it was like a hillbilly am DRAM, true?

Based on my experience, if the ability to deliver subjects for a series of puckish first person TV profiles of intriguing public figures is any guide Jimmy Saville had as much clout as you'd expect.

Based on paper thin knowledge of the then fashionable theories of postmodernism, I said things like art is like a chicken running around with its head cut off. It's dead. It just doesn't know.

Be they trivial, like tying one's shoelaces, or packing clean underwear, or having a cooker, or more profound like the love of children, or a wife.

Bearing in mind Michael's advice, I waited for camping to finish what he had to say before asking follow up questions, but there weren't many breaks in the torrent of theology and so camping had fr...

Became a byword for a kind of extreme stress and emotional exhaustion.

Because he wasn't who he claimed to be.

Because I myself am a little self doubting, I assume other people are happy to examine their contradictions. But it wasn't so, and in many cases those whose faith was most important to them, like Bob.

Because we live in a very funny world, he said, and it's easier for me as a single man. To say I don't like children because that puts a lot of salacious tabloid people off the hunt.

Becoming excited at the idea that I was from the media, Michael offered to move a piece of paper with his mind.

Beep.

Before arriving, I'd learned that the LUNARIANS enjoyed dressing up in space themed costumes for big celebration days and also to make their visionary films.

Before I left London, I'd tried searching on the Internet, his name turned up on a couple of websites dedicated to devil worship.

Before we flew to the location, the segment producer Kent Alterman convened a bull session in the conference room. Someone suggested it might be funny if I wore a Klan robe and hood during filming.

Behave as if you're never going to get another job in television. He would say he told us we should consider it a good sign if we were ever arrested while making a segment.

Being ill, I'd missed his lecture that day on Starkids hybrid children with advanced abilities, but after we'd eaten, he began testing the auras of some of those at our table.

Being in the swim of hordes of media types of a similar age.

Being trans Iberian express.

Bernard Manning, the northern comedian given to racially charged humour, was another perennial, bunking up with him at his place in Manchester.

Beth led the conversation and was the more voluble of the pair she'd known Jimmy longer and had occupied a sort of leadership position in their little group as organiser and diary keeper.

Blossom about obsessive fans and paparazzi who stood in gaggles outside stars homes in New York.

Bo Gritz never shut up the Aaron Russo material was so poor. I don't think we ever spoke about it from that day on. It was like a national tragedy or a terminal illness, just to mention.

Bob closed his eyes, he rocked in his chair and snorted, and gurgled and twitched from side to side.

Bob huffed. Sure, you know I'll even ask my wife. I'll say, surely did this really happen? She'll say, Robert, you know it did because we have it documented.

Bob mentioned that Courton had told his wife Shirley, what kind to get down to the mileage and the colour.

Bob put on some slippers and rested his feet on a cushion. The only light came through the edges of the blinds, which had been pulled down.

Bob went and got a bag of gnarled silverware and flung it on the table.

Bob's vocal chords gave voice to several distinct personalities. Operators who were working a kind of interdimensional telephone exchange.

Booking celebrities turned out to be a bit like dating the people you want won't have you. And the people who'll have you you don't want.

Borrowing from a program had watched as a child called in at the deep end, I had added the device of following my attempts to participate in the worlds I was reporting on.

Both were first generation, university educated and placed a high value on literature and the written word. They encouraged us to view the artistic life and specifically fine writing as the highest...

Brian too was transformed, no longer shy and introspective. He had become ebullient.

Brian's bout had him pitted against some Kung Fu fighters from a local martial arts Academy, the School of Hard Knocks who were bald headed and dressed in only pajama bottoms.

British rap was then spotty at best. There was Derek B, who was a pale photocopy of an American embassy. MC Duke was more interesting. He styled himself like a country Squire.

Buddha was preaching the idea of pacifism long before Jesus was.

But at that moment I was confused in the footage. You can see me glance off camera for help.

But at the time, I didn't think that I was just happy to feel part of the team.

But by now I was so spent. I didn't have it in me to come up with a second one.

But David saw reasons to keep the faith, whether because he enjoyed the fractious quality of the encounter, or possibly just because he knew Jimmy was still enough of a name to pull in viewers, and...

But despite my best resolutions, working less proved more difficult than you might imagine.

But for a moment, the idea of a community in which the currency of sex and love was more free flowing made a tiny bit of sense.

But having decided to break the agent rule, I thought I'd break the other rule too. I labeled the final draft first draft, then sent it off to Paul Simms.

But he was also a talented mimic and natural performer. He'd grown up in Washington DC, raised by his mum, and later on he'd embraced hip hop culture. One year he arrived at the Cape in a shell suit.

But he was still enough. The Medford raised boy to also think we were pampered ninnies nincompoops. Who would be better off pinging tin cans with an air gun and learning how to tie sailor's knots a...

But his wife Maria didn't want to be on camera, which was a deal breaker for us.

But how it went after that, we will never know, because Anne kept interrupting, telling her mother to be quiet, seeming to feel that to have a family member declaiming nonsense verse on TV would be a.

But I also had pangs of conscience. Increasingly, I worried I was taking something real and abusing it, building trust and making it a basis for ridicule.

But I do think failure is often more interesting and revealing than success.

But I felt I had tried to do things correctly and later I wondered if the urge to conduct one's emotional affairs correctly was part of the issue.

But I felt I'd scored a small victory redeeming the preceding hours of fruitless filming by showing his habit of brazenly and untruthfully self mythologizing, albeit over a trivial exaggerate.

But I thought you handled it rather brilliantly.

But I was also struggling with a sense of self exposure. One of my impulses in making documentaries had always been an urge for invisibility and escape. This time my escape route had led out into a...

But if I could write my way into a job in Hollywood, it would all seem more earned.

But if the extent of Bo's good faith was hard to figure out, what was more worrying was a more basic issue. The growing sense as we filmed that both steamrolling style was simply a bit.

But in the course of cutting down the material, something surprising happened. The tension and the sense of me being out of my depth combined to give the encounter a power I hadn't expected.

But it quickly became clear these were a different calibre of racist. They weren't sequestered in the mountains of western Montana, Lonely and Maladapted. They were in mainstream America, their shape.

But it was all a salutary apprenticeship. I was learning without realizing it skills and techniques that I would rely on through the course of my TV career.

But it's also probably the case that he enjoyed my company and wills since we always saw him together and on our side. There was also a mixture of impulses using him for publicity later for.

But mainly I was confused by the turn of events and bothered by the strangeness of finding myself now a part of the story. As I increasingly was in almost all the coverage, there was a photo of me ...

But other than these tonal issues, the film came together with surprising ease and even in its earliest, long cuts was engaging throughout.

But she'd been worried that talking to religious loonies might disturb her mental equilibrium.

But speaking to him, under false pretences didn't feel right, and I wasn't sure how to get off the phone.

But that Christmas episode, what was that about? I sat watching it with a friend and I built it up to him and it just Oh dear.

But that's his left hand.

But the book was protein in its conception and in one of its more stable forms. It was a meditation on Jimmy Saville and an attempt to go further into unravelling his enigma.

But the idea of being a writer didn't seem especially realistic, and as my graduation date approached, I looked out at the inhospitable world, feeling like a prison inmate. After years of incarcerate.

But the line had then gone quiet and I wasn't quite sure what the next move was. I didn't want to badger him too much and during breaks, or just going about my day, I wandered the central courtyard...

But the trip was mainly memorable for an outing to Hollywood where amid the array of fleabitten attractions shops selling plastic Oscars fly by night guides with vans, advertising tours of.

But their flat, a gauntlet of press 6 or 7 camera people with top lights on swivelled in unison without saying a word.

But there was no noticeable lessening of the verbal assault.

But thereafter Marcel rejoiced in telling me about Jack, the stripper, a serial killer whose MO was to choke prostitutes to death using his penis.

But to what?

But was right in his comfort zone of delivering a kind of ad hoc radio show to an audience of 1.

But we still loved each other. I more than I realized, and we were also alone, knowing barely another soul in the city in any intimate way.

But you can't just keep feeding and feeding and it wasn't totally clear what the next move was. You squeeze the shoulders, massage the arms a little bit, but then what?

Butler picked me up in Hayden, ID in a creaky old Cadillac, accompanied by an aide de camp, whom he introduced as Reverend Jerry Groudle.

Butler wanted to open the mail, so Jerry offered to take me on a tour of the rest of the compound.

Butler's outfit Aryan Nations represented the far end of that spectrum. A strange racist group that styled itself a church. It was the most famous neo-Nazi org.

By coincidence, also on the Sunset Gower lot with the Newsradio offices.

By now I had bigger things to worry about and for once it wasn't the struggle to get programs going, but something far weirder. The fact that a program having got going had unexpected.

By now I had the impression I had cast a kind of benign spell over them, and that there was almost nothing I could say that would break it. I sang a space hymn that the Lunarians had taught me and ...

By now I'd had a first cursory meeting with Paul Simms. He'd seemed friendly, though a little distracted and I'd sent some follow up plot ideas along.

By now Sarah had taken a job teaching English in a remote area of China for a year.

By now we've been joined by a journalist from the Mail on Sunday called Paul Henderson, who declined to go on camera and lurked in the kitchen.

By now, I'd at least found some friends, a small gang of arty types who, like me, were a little bit pretentious over interested in music and comedy and scared of girls.

By now, with the crowd streaming out of the venue, it wasn't clear whom I could speak to. There was no sign of the publicity Guy Alan and I was running out of options.

By prior arrangement, we'd shot a greeting on a hillside where Mike and his friend Pat were building a house where in Carpenter's overalls, clambering amid a carcass of two by fours, surrounded by ...

By the end of filming, I'd arrived at an assessment of him as a rather remote figure, annoying, self involved, but that those negatives existed alongside more surprising qualities of intelligence a...

By the end of the shoot, I had no clear sense of whether we had what we needed to make the segment work. I was aware that I hadn't been in control of the encounters in the way I had on the Millenni...

By the time his piece appeared, I was back in America. I couldn't find it online. This was before newspapers were routinely on the web and they had to resort to calling up the Evening Standard offi...

By the time we were ready, Christmas was nearly upon us to squeeze in the chute and still make it back home to England on Christmas Eve, I realized I'd have to fly straight from Idaho.

By this time I was working on my celebrity diary book thing. So my main impulse may have been to generate some material for that, though there was also a personal sense of curiosity about what.

Camping said.

Camping took me on a tour of his radio studio, pointing out the collection of Christian Records, some of whose tracks had been marked with little stickers to indicate that they had too much beat.

Can you get wood? That's the most important thing right there. He said. Can you keep a heart on the entire time? Believe it or not, it's not easy. I don't care how beautiful she is some.

Caught on had me down as a pothead for some reason, I said.

Caught on the headliner speaks in a booming monotone.

Caught on then spoke for several minutes about oil cartels and the invasion of Kuwait.

Chaotic and spread out as it is. The UFO world is not an easy community to dip into, but once a year hundreds of its constituents gather at a low budget hotel casino called the Flames.

Chapter 10

Chapter 11 weird Christmas.

Chapter 12 habits of work.

Chapter 13 if you're going to puke puke chunks.

Chapter 14 The Godfather.

Chapter 15 zero tolerance.

Chapter 16 celebrity roundelay

Chapter 17 professional objects of curiosity.

Chapter 18 Jimmy links.

Chapter 2 the Fulani people of Nigeria.

Chapter 3 bird dogging chicks and banging Beaver.

Chapter 4 the way to San Jose.

Chapter 5.

Chapter 6 Millennium.

Chapter 7 don't burn me now.

Chapter 8 popular documentary.

Chapter 9 dead heads for doll.

Chapter one boisterous.

Charles and Leanne disappeared. He was strange and depressing. Comedy and hijinks had curdled into a feeling of being lost and forlorn.

Charles was in his 70s and had been married to one of the founders of Unarius, Ruth L Norman.

Chris encouraged me to send Michael some segment ideas. I sat in front of the computer and tried to come up with something. The only one I recall had to do with the fatwa against Salman Rushdie. I ...

Chris Eubank had the hallmarks of being more TV friendly a love hate figure of the sports world, reviled by many for his pose of arrogance. He was also one of the greatest British boxers of all tim...

Chris separated from Karen a few years afterwards. I still have a soft spot for the film, though it's been a while since I watched it. I have a soft spot for Chris too.

Chris was in a dress shirt, tireless now with the sleeves rolled up.

Chris's face took on the hooded look of an Easter Island statue, and, weirdly, I couldn't help feeling a degree of sympathy for him. Self styled role model to an abstract concept of the Navy.

Christ was coming back on the Tuesday or possibly the Thursday and every mountain and island would be moved out of their places.

Christine was up and down Sterned and fierce one minute, dissolving into tears the next, which to be fair, seems a reasonable reaction when accused of ****. I'm having a bit of a dip.

Christine, in one of her stock phrases of disapproval, said, well, thank you very much.

Christine, put her arm around Neil.

Churning through rejections was like a Groundhog Day of phone calls and letters to light entertainment has beens and deposed foreign despots.

Clearly they had less money at stake than the big name wrestlers. I also tend to think their self mutilation was so sanguinary and extreme that they didn't feel the need to lay claim to any other k...

Cliff was keeping up a patter of encouragement, find connection on a deeper level, he intoned as he paced up and down across from me. A long haired woman who I knew to be a doctor.

Colonel Gritz, how are you doing? We're from the BBC. Well, you're too early it's tomorrow, isn't it?

Communications are unlimited when things are put back right.

Conventional wisdom held that you were supposed to write 2 scripts and use them to get an agent.

Corporal punishment was common a whack on the hand with a ruler or plimsoul or a visit to the headmaster's office, for a taste of the sword.

Coughton said possibly, but that I'd have to change my lifestyle.

Could you do it now? I said gently. I'm not going to do a demonstration for you, Louis. OK, now I'm a bit tired. So just be careful.

Critics had their own opinions, mostly positive but not wildly so. I had the sense they hadn't really understood how much in them was new.

Crossing Moreland bridge. I nodded at many of the same faces as in Westminster's Little Dean's yard. The location had moved 56 miles down the M40, but the population was to a great extent.

David always enjoyed those professional duties that involved a sense of occasion, especially when he was in the role of bestower of largesse, and he drew out the reveal like a judge on a talent show.

David flew back to London, presumably to make plans to start production imminently. While I disbelievingly commenced A1 man Bataan Death March.

David made the decision to do survivalists first.

David Mortimer had explained that I should be thinking of ideas in the popular documentary genre.

David Mortimer was at the shoot offering suggestions, one of which was that I should take my boxes off. He said they'd use an effect, possibly blurring or maybe a little box to make sure nothing wo...

David renamed this one Louis Theroux's weird weekends.

David said he shared the same ambition for the programmes, though occasionally I sensed he was troubled by my enthusiasm for showing contributors with unsavoury political views in three dimensions.

David sent back a considered e-mail, taking my points one by one and ending by saying he didn't like to be called Dave.

David titled The documentary when Louis met Jimmy.

David was in ecstasies over the success of the show, nearly 5,000,000 viewers, stories and all the papers, but it worried me since there was almost nothing to be learned from making the documentary...

David would be a close collaborator for seven years and would guide me with varying degrees of involvement through three series of weird weekends that when Louis met documentaries and a period of c...

David, who was coming on as my series producer, had by now moved himself and his girlfriend from London for the nine month duration of the production. The BBC was paying for some sweet digs in Gree...

Day 2 followed in the same vein in his kitchen. After I asked him playfully about a stash of spirits, I discovered in his the famous Teetotallers cabinet. He gave me a mini tutorial about how to co...

Despite the Hamilton's evident stress and anxiety, Coleman was having trouble hiding his own relish for the impending battle with the police and media.

Did that not cramp your style a little bit, since you couldn't bring girls home because your mum wouldn't let you sleep with women, didn't want to sleep with them? Good heavens, Jimmy said with fei...

Did that not cramp your style? Jimmy? I repeated, I'll answer the question, Jimmy said, pointing outside. If you see over there on the horizon, a caravan camp, I had a caravan there. So that was th...

Did you argue much when you were living together? I asked never. Jimmy said. No point in arguing. And what if you had a girl with you? She would have actually killed the girl.

Did you see the TV nation pilot you know asked? Yes, I did. So funny and the segments you did on The Tonight Show.

Discos open and close, he said hospitals never close.

Do you ever wonder if it's real? I asked.

Do you hate being called a hate group? The white people of my family. I love them, but it doesn't mean I hate anybody else. Hating people is stupid.

Do you I ventured?

Do you know about the inverted pyramid? My shitty times editor Lorraine asked.

Do you know Africans think we're backward because we sit in baths and not running water, she would say.

Do you know at one stage they were going to lock us each in a cell? Christine said. Can you believe it just because Max Clifford and some tart have invented this allegation?

Do you mean you've never had a girlfriend? Friends that are girls, 8,000,000 friends that are girls? Yeah, but girlfriend in the sense of today. I you are together you don't bother with anybody els...

Do you see how stupid the questions were? You asked at Monday night, Nitro, he asked.

Do you suppose there's a case for just doing 1 to begin with and then sort of seeing how it goes?

Do you think I might be allowed to stay on planet Earth?

Do you think it has to have my name in it? Louis Theroux's weird weekends.

Doesn't he believe there are 12 foot lizard people running the planet? I asked?

Dominate me.

Don't know.

Don't want it just to be fringe? Need mix fringe, sex, celebrity violence, villainy fun.

Don't worry, Jerry Kupfer said. Take your time, no need to rush in.

Don't yell was stark. Naked in a desk chair. It's easier than putting my clothes down and taking them off again. She explained. Meaning for photographers and directors I assume.

Donnell had made a series of undercover reports using hidden cameras, with the result that is highly secret face was now nationally famous. He, too, was trying to figure out a way forward, like an ...

Drawing him into an undignified squabble?

Dream deceivers about a pair of teenagers in rural America who attempted suicide under the influence of a Judas Priest record.

Driving back to Las Vegas, I reflected that there was a lesson in my encounter with Bob.

Drones existing in a sinister confected reality in which nothing is really what it seems. The Kennedy assassination Iran Contra the cancellation of the TV series The X.

During a 1 to 1 midway through my second term, Moreland's head history tutor Angus McIntyre told me he thought I was on track to get a first in the end of year exams.

During my first visit for the documentary, I'd spent a matter of hours with Bob, most of which was taken up with the channelling session.

During one such dinner at a pub in Scotland, Jimmy had picked up the camera while will and I were off somewhere else and delivered a secret message. An odd sentimental little peep into our group.

During the holidays there was a show called Why Don't you that had the paradoxical brief of encouraging viewers to stop watching TV and do something else, develop a hobby like falconry or Trainspot...

During the wreckage, the director and AP visited locations and met and interviewed a variety of potential contributors with a view to deciding who would be in the eventual film.

Each focused on a defined area of the country. This helped give the show an organic quality, a unity of place and look, and with each I try to stick to the idea of giving the program a sense of pat...

Early in the evening he'd sometimes come and say hello, and we'd make conversation.

Early in the filming I flew down to Florida with my crew to visit a WCW Rd show called Monday Night Nitro. There was a bright sunny day and fans in ball caps and a few in.

Ed OG a positive rapper from Boston, who probably nobody but me, remembers, stopped halfway through his freestyle, unable to find a rhyme. Schoolly Dee and Evelyn.

Eden Simon went on a wrecky a pre filming trip to scout locations and characters a week or so later they returned sounding broadly positive about what they'd found. The only hiccup was that many.

Eight years on from my meeting with Thor and hoping to find him again, I arrived early in the evening. A paid up attendee of the 14th gathering of the Congress. The kickoff.

Embattled amid the surrounding blandness of San Jose, Metro felt like the citadel of a small counterculture. We were lonely holdouts flying the flag of strangeness in a vast India.

Even afterwards, I didn't think of myself as married. I imagined that if we ever did decide to marry for real, which I thought we might, we'd get married again. It was a little confusing.

Even allowing for exaggeration, it hinted at a much darker, more brutal figure than the one the world knew.

Even among those unapologetically devoted to ways of life, I viewed as harmful a pimp in Mississippi, a poor nationalist in South Africa, an unscrupulous spiritual figure like a spy.

Even when I was staying an hour away in Long Beach, I was the first one in the office and the last to leave.

Even when we had an idea there followed weeks of research led by the director at his or her AP in which magazines and newspapers were gone through phone calls made old films watched until they.

Eventually I made my way out, having promised to return the following day, which Needless to say I didn't do.

Eventually, after tireless efforts, a couple of names came on board.

Ever wondered how wrestlers get in shape or presented? Darren went to find out.

Every time they read out the address that's London W12 8QT. I couldn't find a pen in time to write it down.

Everybody back up, sodd shouted.

Evidently they had their limits because either he or my mum tore out one chapter.

Except instead of a shadowy group of super villains bent on world domination, they are Tweedy academics dribbling into their soup.

Eyes wide she trailed off.

Featuring photos of me and Jimmy.

Feeling burned, I wrote to hip hop connection complaining about their uncritical promotion of British artists.

Felt to me like a prison sentence.

Filming resumed, though there was always the lurking sense of her having mixed feelings about the project, enjoying the attention, but hating and resenting any question that hinted at salaciousness...

Filming went smoothly enough, taking place in the week leading up to Christmas smoothly in the sense that there were plenty of made for TV arguments between the contributors. Early on, it became cl...

Finally, after 45 minutes or so, I overcame my natural urge to be obliging and said, I'm so sorry, but I really have somewhere I need to be.

Finally, through his assistant, another meet up was arranged.

Finally, what felt like hours later, the crew called from a pay phone that found the landing site and would meet us there.

Fine, I did some more Hindu squats, some running on the spot and screaming, then feeling I really had had enough. I retreated to a small dressing area only for Sage to.

First, the excitable musical pioneer Ike Turner, who was mainly known for physically abusing his wife Tina.

Five or six years after my visit, a well respected wrestler, David Bautista, who went on to find success as an actor playing Drax in the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise, described a very similar ...

For 10 or 20 seconds, nothing happened.

For a final coup de grace in the story, we found news footage of Michael Lowe and Tom Robert rallies facing off with counter protesters being less guarded and more openly racist than they had with me.

For a long time, I imagine that some of the questions I had about Jimmy might be answered if I could just induce him to take an off camera excursion with me to Broadmoor.

For a man whose persona was so cartoonish, any subtlety of insight tended to come as a surprise.

For a moment I was filled with a weird giddy feeling of cosmic insignificance mixed in with a Tang of fear. And then I heard a voice saying DP YN, an acronym that stood for.

For a moment, he appeared on the verge of saying something, then thought better of it, and walked on.

For a small British magazine I got stoned and played Tetris on the computer. I stared at the red eyed figure in the bathroom mirror looking for answers to who I was and what I was supposed to be do...

For a while it turned farcical with Christine freaking out that the banner was lying crumpled out on the drive. In view of the cameras.

For a while, Michael developed a sitcom for Fox called Better Days, which Jim Belushi was supposedly attached to. It was to be a more political Roseanne. He sent me a copy of his script and I tried...

For a year and a half up the Amazon in a rickety motorboat in the revolutionary hills of Mexican Chiapas among religious crazies in Jerusalem and good old boys in the back roads of the Deep South.

For all his political bent, Michael seemed to view his writers in an almost talismanic way, recognizing that for the show to work it needed first and foremost to be funny.

For an idea to work there also needed to be some political or social relevance. A branch of the Ku Klux Klan whose leader was rebranding it a civil rights group for white people. Avon sales ladies ...

For each episode, I spent a concentrated period of time in a subculture alien to my own outlook and way of life in which the subjects had a commitment to something I viewed as wrongheaded. Weird, l...

For face saving purposes, we called it a trial separation.

For me it's not. He said it's the opposite. I finally found somewhere where I liked being where I'm appreciated.

For me, a fan of rap being mentioned by Fat Joe was a kind of baptism.

For most of that, O level year of 1985, I kept a diary which I can't now put my hand to, but can probably summarise without too much difficulty.

For nourishment Jimmy had laid on a packet of Frazzles and some chocolate biscuits.

For people threatened by attack from hostile space aliens.

For several days I made sorties to sites around LA, a pilgrimage to Compton, spawning ground for the rap group, N.W.A, a road trip down to the Mexican border city of Tijuana.

For several months I lived in Boston with my brother sleeping on his futon.

For some reason you have a hold over the public imagination I said and there is a sexual dimension to it.

For some topics, because of their weightiness and lack of obvious comedy, it was a case of needing to gain the confidence to know how to handle them. Or maybe earning the right to cover them.

For the Christianity photos, I held a large wooden crucifix and shouted at the camera, which wasn't at all the feel of the episode, but I have a regrettable habit of agreeing to do what I'm asked b...

For the first day of filming, we were in the San Francisco Bay area to speak to a radio evangelist named Harold Kemping, based in Oakland, who was predicting the end of the world for later in the y...

For the first four episodes, I had my subjects pretty well mapped out. It was a bit like making a debut album like a bag of songs. I've been thinking about those shows for a couple of years at leas...

For the first week or two had been sleeping on my brother's floor in a studio apartment in Chelsea, then having encouraged me to come, he'd landed a job in London and I took over his place.

For the party, Bob was wearing a shiny gold larmee top and a gold cummerbund. His white hair was pulled back in a ponytail and though it was dark, he had sunglasses on.

For the porn one I stripped off and made ANTIC faces while wearing only a pink feather boa and a pair of boxer shorts.

Forced together with them in the surreal circumstances of the media, siege and having lost my bearings as to what exactly my journalistic role was, I found myself enjoying the company of the Hamilt...

Four sounded ready to close the deal.

Franklin said.

From a mild sound bite of rob telling me he didn't go around saying he's a Jew, he's not a Jew. We cut to footage of Rob at a Klan event saying to a protester, you're a Jew. I'm not going to talk t...

From a state of directionless obscurity had been vaulted into a realm of possibility I hadn't ever dared imagine.

From another clip of Rob saying he didn't hate black people, we cut to a speech of Rob declaring in strident tones America belongs to the children of the Republic, not those from Mexico, not those ...

From colleagues, I kept hearing that the BBC was taking an interest in me. An exec had visited from London. He wrote down your name. A colleague told me.

From our first scene in a Montana survivalist store where I indulged in some good-natured teasing of the owner while he showed me his emporium of preparedness items. Imperishable meal.

Full of ambition but with no clear sense of direction. I had the strong sense it was time to start my life and no idea how to do it.

Furries fetishists who dress up in mascot like outfits and have sex at conventions were considered but dismissed based on their having a part time and largely virtual connection.

Garage to Jaguar at the back of the playground.

Gene mentioned he could hook me up there. The randomness of the connection, the fact that I knew almost nothing about the place, tickled me. I liked the idea of making big life decisions based on v...

Given all the pressure I'd felt to shake Jimmy up and rattle his cage, it's perhaps both surprising and unsurprising that when the time came to edit the material, one of the challenges was not to m...

Given how green I was looking back, I'm surprised at how much latitude Michael afforded me to do my work.

Given how intrinsic fakery is to wrestling, it would have been a sly but understandable storytelling device. In fact, it is real, though clearly there was a performative quality to the moment.

Given that he travelled throughout the world, the idea of finding somewhere he hadn't written about and left his mark on was in fact one of its main attractions.

Given that the idea was to teach and help out, not up stumps halfway through the job, you could say that my going and then leaving was worse than not going at all. And I wouldn't argue with.

Given the accusations made in the Panorama program, I was on the lookout for evidence of far right leanings, noting the many books by Enoch Powell.

Givers feed slowly, Cliff said, feed off part of your body, but do everything slowly. Slow is always better.

Going into the museum, I'd expected 1/2 hour ramble around an unintentionally humorous slice of roadside Americana instead. I was dismayed to find I was chaperoned by a very slow movie.

Good just to be underway, David said. As we rode up in the hotel lift. Yes, I said.

Gradually I fell out of contact with Jerry, but I never forgot him. The weird contrast of his warm human qualities combined with the hatefulness of his beliefs set a kind of gold standard.

Gradually my thoughts took shape in an idea.

Gradually our lifestyle changed the car. A singer Gazelle was replaced with a Canary coloured second hand Renault and then a sleek new Rover that was the least reliable of the three and often.

Group 1 began loading up plates with food and pouring drinks into plastic beakers with sippy cup lids.

Group One sat down with their plates and beakers next to them. Some took their tops off.

Growing up, if anyone had suggested, I might one day be on television, I would have looked at them quizzical and confused, wracking my brains to imagine what set of steps could possibly lead to it ...

Had been planning to head back to London at the end of the summer, but as September approached, figuring I had nothing pressing to do there, I decided to stay in America.

Had grown up watching his wish fulfillment show. Gimmel Fixit, which aired on Saturdays and which was in fact the creation of its longtime producer Roger Ordish.

Had they become a byword for a certain kind of unattractive man with glasses?

Has the business changed much? I asked.

Have you been fed food before? Asked a Gray haired older lady with dangly earrings.

Have you ever had your confidence shaken? Have you ever thought? Well, maybe I'm just a con man.

Have you seen Roger and me?

Haven't yet got around to doing.

Having already made one segment involving white supremacists, I imagined it might be the same drill with the Klan. Be nice and wide eyed, and gently satirize their ludicrous racial vision.

Having been promised access, we took occupancy of a small backroom at Harrods while we waited for him to appear.

Having failed to rendezvous with the crew, we drove back to the UNARIUS headquarters and there I sat in my space uniform wondering about my next move.

Having made an appointment by phone, I drove down from Las Vegas and met him in front of a local grocery store. He was dressed in black with a black cowboy hat and dark glasses.

Having put his sporting achievements behind him, Chris was now plying his trade as a kind of children's role, model, public intellectual and style guru.

Having sex for a living, staking one's professional fortunes on an unpredictable physical organ is strange. Kind of funny and potentially pretty sad all at once.

Having suffered through the ructions and self doubt of the first episode, I'd like to be able to say that the process of making the shows became easier. It didn't.

He agreed the majority of people who buy our product don't like women. They want to see them degraded.

He and his wife lived in separate buildings he took will on a tour of his quarters. Every day I checked the papers for what films are on if it gets at least three stars. Then I tape it.

He answered the door white haired well built in a tight black T-shirt and big buckled belt and growled in a way that wasn't entirely friendly. What's going on?

He arrived unannounced in the middle of a maths lesson, having taken a 2 hour taxi ride from Harare.

He asked about my previous jobs.

He asked me to fetch a pin at the bar. They had no pins, but they gave me a tiny plastic cocktail sword.

He batted this away. Likewise, the which human meat would you eat? Hypothetical dilemma and a sophomoric riff about whether if you were checking out an attractive woman from behind and then discover.

He believes the reptilian people have an agenda here that's correct, said Darryl. A success coach from Las Vegas. Have you read his books, said Jeannie, a grizzled looking teacher from Colorado.

He bore a resemblance to Jimmy Saville, but a much older version whose platinum locks were now thin and indistinguishable from the ordinary white hair of an OAP.

He carried a cigarette holder and wore a cravat. Telling stories almost certainly fictional about a fiance who died in a tragic accident.

He claimed to be the entertainments officer, but was hard pressed to describe what entertainments he'd actually organised. It was said he used to have tea with Peter Sutcliffe, but he was cagey on ...

He claimed to have killed 10 aliens himself. There is a thick gooey substance inside. He said these creatures make grown men cringe.

He comes to town and plays on an old mandelay and people put money on his tray.

He denounced Prince Philip for 15 minutes, then disappeared.

He did not teach gospel of so-called brotherly love with other races. He came only for his own race, the white race, the Aryan or Adamic race. Jones chipped in each race.

He didn't show any disquiet when I told him that we'd filmed him boasting about tying people up. He said he'd been speaking figuratively.

He doesn't tell you anything unless it's true, Bob said.

He drove us back to the homestead. It was dark when we arrived, but the lights on Mike's battered truck lit up a ramshackle construction of breeze blocks and logs.

He enjoyed Chris Eubank and tried to take credit for it. Yeah, that were a good idea of mine. The boxer kid.

He enjoyed dark humour generally when the police were looking for clues to the identity of the Yorkshire Ripper for several days, they had a large team searching round hay park for clues or possibl...

He enumerated the various sources of the people's paranoia, the government's natural phenomena, nuclear power plants. So I went to FEMA, the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

He explained that I drank too much and smoked too much pot.

He explained that if any young men misbehaved at his clubs, he'd locked them in the boiler room until closing time.

He had a nonspecific English accent he would put on to amuse himself loosely based on a cleaning lady we had called Missus tarpey.

He had a total confidence in his own ability to handle any kind of questioning, and in fact he told me several times that he had a specific reason for agreeing to our project. I want you to find th...

He had an RAF style mustache short hair and stood at ease in the fashion of the army, maybe 40. He was attended by a woman with short blonde hair wearing a matching uniform.

He had made the decision to be unruffled by the crosswinds of fate and misfortune.

He had several poems that he knew by heart and would declaim them when the opportunity arose and carried little books with the sayings of Nietzsche and Oscar Wilde.

He had something he needed to show me. He said a piece of footage he'd shot 2 evenings earlier at Jimmy's penthouse after I'd gone to bed.

He had what seemed to be a watertight and self-contained outlook on life involving logic and a certain understanding of psychology, and perhaps more than anything, a quality of toughness and abilit...

He in turn told our executive producer David, and they followed a weird few days when they knew what the thing was and were in a position to tell me more. While I was keen not to know.

He led us out into his extensive yard, green and overgrown and backing onto fields centered around a vegetable patch.

He lived in LA in Beverly Hills. I liked the odd contradiction of his Hollywood connections and his militia leanings, and I lobbied to interview him on the same leg of filming.

He looks too much like Louis Theroux, she said.

He made it his project to school me on the dishonesty and inherent instability of the Federal Reserve.

He mentioned that the Writers Guild required a minimum number of scripts to be farmed out to freelancers each year. Maybe I could write one. Wow, that would be great, I said.

He might have called it a Roman right arm salute, but once again he was doing it with his left arm.

He moved towards the door, making his if to leave.

He must have had ambivalent feelings about our education. There was a side of him that liked the idea of US learning Latin and showing off to his American family aside that in a way similar to the ...

He offered to test me.

He paused appearing emotional. I give probably 80% more to my children than my father gave me, and still it doesn't come up to scratch. Well, what if scratch?

He persuaded Neil that he and Christine should carry it while marching out to the waiting reporters in a kind of procession.

He played a clip of me talking with a born again Christian Lady who anointed her car with holy water. You're taking the Michael aren't you? Ned said I should have been prepared for this, but I was ...

He pleaded guilty to having almost never kicked a ball with his children. Then he said my father, can I remember my father playing with me? No, my father never played with me.

He pops the DVD into the machine and for 50 minutes the two of them sit through a strange parade of images showing Jimmy is a lonely, occasionally sinister figure.

He puts his fags out in the pool. He also what do you call a shampoo for gypsies? Go and wash.

He referred to the Hamiltons as Amir's ball in a grudge match between himself and the authorities.

He regarded himself as something of a guru on the subject of applying logic to human predicaments more than once during filming, and after, he said to me, call me when you have your nervous breakdown.

He regularly suggested profiling the strip club manager Peter Stringfellow, who he said was a friend.

He reminisced to will about his days in the 60s as a nightclub manager in Leeds.

He said he lived outside Vegas, still with Liz. He didn't seem averse to meeting up.

He said he'd nicknamed the brick the Louie.

He said that from 1965 to 67 he'd worked as a weather observer at Nellis Air Force Base in Indian Springs, NV.

He said.

He scrolled around on his camera and I peered into the viewfinder in the clip, Jimmy, seemingly unaware that the camera was on slouched back on his sofa, cigar in hand, watching a Natural History d...

He seemed a figure of some authority and officer, or maybe the captain morning Governor Jimmy said, looking suddenly shifty.

He seemed to feel underappreciated in his home country. I sensed that he was a little put out, that there weren't statues of him on street corners.

He shared a quality of many of the best producers and ability to absorb anxiety to keep the faith in dark times and recognize when decisions needed to be made.

He simply disappeared.

He spoke of an encounter with Cherie Blair.

He stalked about jabbing his cigar at his luxurious features. It was, he said, one of only two penthouses on board. The best lodging to be had.

He swallowed whatever hurt he may have felt and declared the documentary another triumph.

He then talked for some length about the 0 tolerance footage.

He told me his story. A building contractor in Las Vegas. He'd struggled financially. The IRS had raided his bank accounts.

He took Leanne to Harry Ramsdens the fish and chips chain, where he paid for their meal with a collection of loose change, counting it out with theatrical frugality for the meal. They were joined b...

He took me down to the gym where we worked out together.

He took us on a tour of the house, which I can only assume was decorated to his wife's tastes with cute little bits of Christian kitsch figurines of angels, framed inspirational messages and painti...

He ushered me inside. My crew followed behind and I took my shoes off in a cloakroom, then ventured into a large kitchen.

He was 23 at that time, fresh out of the Air Force he'd been in the business 5 weeks and done 13 movies.

He was 72 or in his argot 36 twice.

He was a deep sleeper and needed a lot of pushing and humping.

He was also an early adopter of video technology on shoebox sized cameras. He and Joe would film improvised skits, in which I occasionally appeared.

He was also on the radio when I was growing up. A weekend oldies show, and he presented ads for Rd safety clunk. Click every trip and British Rail. This is the age of the train not to.

He was also troubled by a conversation I'd had with Debbie about her reproductive choices, in which I had mentioned that she'd never had children, and that perhaps that was one of the reasons she'd...

He was always switched on to whatever was happening in the culture. The latest music and fashion in a way that was completely unforced. Coolness came to him as though it was his first language.

He was far from being a conventional mentor. He wasn't huge on bonding, but just his keeping me on board felt like a huge endorsement.

He was in full Edwardian dandy persona, Jodphurs, Monocle, Windsor knot, and speaking with exaggerated precision, though just occasionally little glimpses of the London St Kid he'd.

He was keen to be seen as well connected, pointing out a place setting that appeared to come from Buckingham Palace and at the same time he enjoyed ostentatiously parrying and deflecting the questi...

He was keen to stress his considerable achievements, but without being seen to do so.

He was knowledgeable about minstrelsy and enjoyed talking about various dubious blackface vaudevillians of the Bella Ipoc.

He was packing for a two day cruise and he itemized the contents of his overnight bag, making sure I noticed a packet of condoms. Hope Springs eternal in the human breast, especially when you're si...

He was then finishing up post production on his first non documentary feature, Canadian Bacon.

He was there to give his new Alexander Wright character a soft launch not by wrestling, but by walking the aisles and the ringside creating a buzz around the new identity. Achtung achtung.

He was understanding. I'm sure we could have sorted it out Lou, he said, but he accepted my resignation and gave me a couple of tiny walk on roles.

He was with my friend Chris when I arrived.

He went on to pitch a one hour or two hour or three hour program that would be made from footage from his personal archive. It could be voiced by me, he said, or you could.

He went on to say he was himself a walk in an alien in a human body.

He wrote a short story. Children based on overhearing our conversations with friends full of mild bigotry and boasts about skiing holidays. It's in his collection. The London embassy.

He'd already set his sights on being a director and written four or five screenplays, making posters for them, which he put up in his bedroom.

He'd also been one of both shortwave radio listeners and both pitch of a mutually supporting Patriot community geared towards communality and self defence in the end. Times had appealed to him.

He'd always ask that we'll bring a camera so we could film him going into the restaurant celebrity style.

He'd become a poster boy for what was termed Tory sleaze and had lost his seat in a high profile election.

He'd brought a banner with the website name on it and was intent on using it to give the website a plug on national TV.

He'd come to the door wearing a quasi military uniform Gray shirt with shoulder patches and a maroon beret.

He'd had a distinguished career in special forces, as attested by his 40 or so medals framed on the wall.

He'd had extensive contact with a community of tall white aliens who, with the knowledge of the US military, operated a top secret landing area for their craft.

He'd look at you expectantly after you finished speaking, as though one more word or phrase was still needed for everything to make sense.

He'd mentioned a son and a daughter, neither keen to be interviewed. He said he used to work nine to five jobs as a waiter and bartender, and more recently, stacking shelves in a grocery.

He'd monologue at Big Brother speaking directly into the cameras to confess his vulnerabilities, seemingly finding the fictional concept of Big Brother more relatable than any of his.

He'd presented an odd figure in his track suit with his pageboy platinum hairdo affecting the style and air of someone younger than he was.

He'd proven himself in one of his first scenes, pulling off a tricky double penetration, or DP, which is, as it sounds, two men inside one woman, one by the back door and one.

He'd recline on his sofa and play host with the minimum of fuss.

He'd sat on a small throne in the corner of a little Chapel behind his house and wheezed and gurgled, and shook from side to side for quite a long time in the semi darkness.

He'd sued and the BBC had settled paying him £50,000 in damages.

He'd visit with his siblings and my uncle Jean, and afterwards my dad would point out footprints on the hallway walls where Justin had been climbing up them once when he was probably only six or se...

He's got a cell at Broadmoor, where he sleeps. He said he keeps his mother's clothes in a closet and gets them dry cleaned once a year.

He's joking in that one, she said, pointing at the first, but not in that one.

Head for the hills.

Held prisoner by the television, a kind of Stockholm syndrome set in and I fell in an ambivalent love with my captor.

Her name was Sarah. Her name wasn't Sarah. Fiercely intelligent, thoughtful and argumentative. She came from a ******* family in north London that was in its way as status conscious and idiosyncrati...

Her voice was quavering and she covered her face again as Neil stroked her forearm with the tips of his fingers in a stiff up and down gesture.

Here he comes the Zulu warrior. Here he comes, the Zulu chief chief chief.

Here I am telling stories using myself my feelings for real after so many years still doing it.

Here's the problem. He said in a broad Texas accent and handed me a half dollar coin. Now give it back now ask me for it.

Hey Lily, this is Paul Simpson newsradio. I read your script and I liked it so give me a call.

Hindsight has telescoped that second militia chute into a golden idol of productive days, and cascading good fortune.

His apartment was unusually tidy for a young bachelor with racks of heavy metal CDs. John Carpenter movies and Godzilla toys all neatly organised.

His dignity was so seductive it created an odd dissonance between the power and the emotion of what he was saying. The very real sense of connection I felt with him and the fact that it was fundame...

His earlier explanation that had been speaking figuratively went by the board. Now he said yes. He locked up some Larry characters in his boiler room, but they'd been asking for it and the British ...

His eye was fixed to his camera.

His level of energy and backchat was unflagging. It was like a big game, tantalize and retreat. He wanted both to be asked about the mysteries and contradictions of his life, and then pointedly not...

His mother had been the only woman for whom Jimmy had ever expressed anything like love.

His name was Ralph and he was a Lord.

His natural authority was the inverse of my total lack of authority. Along with it came a taste for the perks of office like fine dining and taxis. Only once saw him on pub.

His obsessive need for self protection was a weakness he needed to overcome. He didn't think much of this analysis. He told me I hadn't found the chink.

His private life was famously obscure for almost as long as I can recall. Certainly since my early teens I'd heard there was something sexually untoward about Jimmy Saville, but one didn't attach a...

His reply became the opening exchange of the finished documentary in words reeking of prophetic irony, he said, no, not at all. It's been a permanent source of regret that the one thing I've.

His self-image was as a steely kind of Yorkshire Ubermensch, who, through mental strength had transcended the normal human need for relationships for love for the ties of convention.

His two this is your life. Read books were on display. He announced that he was the only person to have been featured on the program more than once. A first taste of the unverifiable Jimmy Saville ...

His upbringing had been difficult raised in Peckham. Running Wild, then sent to New York to straighten out where he was saved by the boxing gym.

His war exploits had naturally made him a hero and role model to many on the far right, and combined with a commitment to a fringe brand of evangelical Christianity, he'd built up a devoted followi...

His wife, Christine, had featured prominently in the coverage, whereas Neal seemed mild and slightly robotic. She came across as fierce. She had helmet like hair that looked as though it had been.

History came easily. The memorization and grinding through reading lists the marshalling of arguments. On the one hand, this on the other hand, that which prejudices me against it.

Hmm, Chris said one evening after work. If only we knew a British person who was intelligent and had a sense of humor. I just can't think who that could be haha. I said I'll let you know if I think...

Holly Wellin from Manchester, England, 18 years old, was wearing white stiletto boots. A denim miniskirt, giggling.

Hoping to get a status report on the UFO field from a more sober perspective. I continued my Circuit of the banqueting room spotting Jim Marrs, author of Alien Agenda and a respected ex.

How about Star Wars? Pretty accurate, pretty accurate.

How involved could I get in something I was personally opposed to? How did the idea of me going native in a slightly tongue in cheek way jibe with our deeper ambition for the programs of?

How is your clan group different from other clan groups? Well, one we promotion. Alas we have Adams to sell to the public and that's an advantage. It's the nannies and you need to sell yourself to ...

How much does the government know? I said Allah, they don't want you to know that there's alternative energies out there that might upset their monopolies.

How much they'd be likely to let us see backstage was unclear. To cover ourselves. We also approached a much smaller local wrestling league of part timers in South Carolina called the AIW.

How odd I thought that even though I don't believe it still feels nice to be included.

How was it working at Spy? He said good. I enjoyed a lot Chris acting as my corner man added Louis did the piece about rappers freestyling raps about gun safety.

How we are going to incorporate you? I really don't know. Maybe you can overlook the whole project, but in a serious way I will have final approval or whatever.

Huddled in three small windowless rooms on a high. Story of a tall office building in midtown Manhattan, 3000 miles from the documentary unit in Bristol. We spent those first few weeks develop.

Human connection is one of the most precious things we can experience in our lives. Cliff was saying.

I also entered two different Blue Peter competitions, one to design A logo for the UN's International Year of the Child, and another to do an illustration for an anniversary card for the Natural Hi...

I also had the impression he made visits to Ashworth, the forensic mental hospital where Moore's murderer, Ian Brady, was detained and another time when it was in the news. I asked what he made of ...

I also heard that puking during workouts was a regular occurrence, in which case the only surprising part was that Sarge was holding me to his usual standards of what he expected from young wrestli...

I also submitted some ideas to David Mortimer at the BBC just to keep that plate spinning.

I always think everything relaxes when you've got something in the can.

I am not really active in that alien area anymore. He said it just didn't pan out so we've stepped away from that. The major problem of our time is super illnesses, AIDS, chronic.

I am the Myra Hindley story. He replied no comically and without elaborating.

I applied for an internship on a magazine, there called Spy, but I was also missing Sarah who was still in China. But coming to the end of her teaching assignment.

I arrived at San Francisco Airport to find a limo driver holding a card with my name. The first time I'd ever been privileged such a welcome.

I arrived one summer morning getting lost on the stairs leading to the top floor flat in a modern block in Battersea. This was their London pieda tear.

I asked about the sex very quick. One of them said.

I asked him about Christmas. Would you normally do, I said.

I asked him what he knew about JJ.

I asked how old he was. April 17. I turned 45, he said, and they still can't beat me. Alright so you should have caught my act when I was 29 I would have made love to you.

I asked Karen if she wished Chris would help a bit more.

I asked why he didn't take a photo when he was on the ships. If you need physical evidence, he said, then you're not ready to see.

I assured him he was alive and well.

I attempted to remedy this by writing descriptions of the off camera dimension of the production. The celebrities we were approaching and for the most part being rejected by the little bits of shoo...

I attended all fathering primary school which was full of kids in Bay City Rollers, T-shirts, playing rounders, bean bags that smelled of chocolate and road safety films that they showed on a porta...

I began chatting to the performers as they waited to be called into the offices of the producers.

I began feeling morose, sensing that I was completely out of sync with what everyone else seemed to think I should want. My appetite for the sort of programs I was doing already in decline dipped p...

I began spending more time in the vending area where the motivations of the salespeople were reassuringly mundane.

I began wondering why anyone might possibly fixate on the Hamiltons as the object of fantasies. I recalled that before any of the **** allegations a colleague at work had said there's something abo...

I began work on a spec script for a new sitcom called Newsradio.

I bought a couple of British rap albums out of a sense of Obligation 1 by the Demon Boys, another by ruthless rap assassins. Neither was very good.

I bought a medallion and put it on. You're in your cocoon now, said Dan.

I bought furnishings second hand at thrift stores and junk shops.

I brought a monastic level of commitment and purpose to my spec script. It took one whole day to figure out how to do the formatting on my computer with all the indentation and spacing.

I bumped into a director named Robert Herrera, a soft spoken Hispanic man. He said that according to the trade magazine Adult Video News, the porn business now produces 400 films a week.

I bumped into a friend, a young editor I'd known at Spy called Larissa.

I called Jerry back.

I came back to find the flat half empty and a note saying she hadn't been able to find her digital camera.

I circulated slightly aimlessly, trying to stay in the orbit of receivers who already had a giver next to them to take the pressure off me. But even with a 2 to one ratio, it still occasionally hap...

I compiled a rough list of the people I hoped to see, adding to those names. I already mentioned. A prostitute named Haley a UFO cult in San Diego. A neo-Nazi children's folk.

I continued in his gentler way, as I could, asking to look at other objects until Grand Dragon Michael lost patience, the mood shifted again now. Now, don't burn me, let's face.

I couldn't even get my stupid pictures on television. That's how not on TV I was.

I couldn't imagine having the goal. Then I began to fixate on how I would remember all the questions. Could I carry a little notebook or maybe a clipboard? I thought I'd seen people on television d...

I counselled against this. I was aware that as a journalist myself and supposed disinterested party, it wasn't really my place to advise. But I couldn't help myself.

I craved success on my terms that wasn't academic or literary or British, possibly two. I still felt the need to prove myself. Somehow. Me being on TV as myself.

I cycled home in the late autumn gloom down the concrete defiles of Manhattan. Thinking at least it was all out in the open. Now no longer was it my solitary concern.

I did any number of things except watch Roger and me with the result that when Chris phoned to say Michael was ready to meet right now, I realised I still hadn't seen it and it was too late now.

I did so putting on a voice of FOE disingenuousness he said were I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have a half dollar. I never did have a half dollar. How can you prove I ever had one?

I didn't believe this. Incidentally, he only needed to look at his teeth to see that hygiene wasn't his strong suit.

I didn't do as good as I'd like, he said. I was nervous because he's a big director. You get nervous. It's hard to work, but near the end it was fine.

I didn't doubt he had been questioned by the police and his steeliness and sung foil were telling he hadn't just imprisoned his customers. He'd sent the police packing when they questioned him.

I didn't laugh, but I also didn't judge too harshly seeing the jokes as the private expressions of an old school sensibility and part of Jimmy's natural inclination to shock.

I didn't mind. I assumed she was helping out a friend, a producer on the show, and I owed her at least that, and in fact, without the ballast of a steady home life with the long term partner I was ...

I didn't much like the bad faith that went with prank calls. All I can say in my favour is that I brought a kind of comedy jihadi zeal to work that was, at times embarrassing and more.

I didn't question the indoctrination. I was too young to, but it could be a little confusing, especially when it conflicted with signals from outside the home.

I didn't sing that bit, I just had to chant, Chief Chief chief chief.

I didn't take the teasing seriously, mainly because the idea of me as a TV correspondent seemed so unlikely. Still, I remembered my ambition to write for television on a sitcom or a talk show.

I didn't think too much about it in advance. The sequence we were shooting had unpromising, written all over it. I suspected most of those present would be second in 3rd division wrestlers, hoping ...

I didn't think too much about this exchange and the suggestion that he might resort to legal action if he didn't like the finished documentary. I simply enjoyed it as a bit of barbed repartee that ...

I diligently kept the diary all the same, sometimes with the feeling of writing something interesting just as often with the sense of attempting to subsist on my own effluent like a one man human c...

I don't even remember his last name.

I don't have a credit card at the moment. I said and rang off.

I don't have any friends when will my life start? Why don't I have any pubic hair?

I don't have any idea such said ending the interview, though not explosively, and I didn't give much further thought to whether I might have annoyed him with my gentle Sally at thee.

I don't know how many scenes I've done loads. I love it over here. The weather, the people. Everything is so different. It's like a different culture.

I don't know that I ever found a satisfactory answer to this, except yes, a little bit, but possibly not as much as you might think.

I don't know what became of the manuscript of the beggar man. It is a text only known from references to it like the second book of Aristotle's Poetics, but it represents an ideal for the kind.