Stan Smith Sounds: American Dad - Season 3 Edit

A midget assassin.

Abe Lincoln.

Again.

All I can see is you're taking more poundings than Omaha Beach before the ground assault began.

All right, let's do it.

Alright dude, take it easy.

Alright.

Alright.

Am I speaking to an astronaut?

American.

Amy. Amy. Ohh I don't wanna live.

And I do not perform with another act.

And I'm not too drunk or too full for sex.

And that's how you spot your typical homosexual female.

And who? Who is this?

Anyone want to make fun of me now?

Are you mad, woman?

Because I'm an idiot.

Believe me, I tried and it didn't work.

Bitch.

Bobby Brown.

Bonsai.

Breakfast blend.

Bring those beautiful lips over here so I can kiss them.

But I don't wanna eat.

But I never want you to find out.

Bye.

Camp refugee.

Camp refugee.

Chicken salad.

Christmas is dead.

Christmas.

Criticize me more. That worked well the first time.

Damn right.

Darling, I've changed.

David derickson.

Debbie.

Delusional. I'm not delusional.

Did you know that in the gay community, a hairy man is also known as a bear?

Don't get mad at me. It's called makeup.

Don't really.

Don't say that.

Don't you think I know that?

Don't you think that's a little selfish?

Ethically, I don't think I should.

Even when you were drinking and doing all that coke.

Exactly.

First, we hire a midget.

For what?

Forget it.

Francine.

Francine.

Francine.

Friday the 10th.

Gay.

Gays are the new blacks.

George Bush.

George W Bush.

Give me some coffee.

Go to hell.

Good God.

Goodbye America. Goodbye Christmas.

Goodbye Christmas.

Great as in great big fatso.

Great big fatso.

Great girl.

Great.

Great.

Haley.

Hello everybody.

Hello neighbors.

Hello.

Hello.

Here's a little volume issue.

Hey you.

Hey, boy.

Hey.

Hi.

How am I gonna get $50,000?

How can you be gay and Republican?

How come I don't feel anything?

How dare you.

How do you find where I live?

How does it feel to have fallen into my trap?

How interesting I find that.

How? How? How? How? How? How can you be sure?

How'd you like to come work for me?

Huh.

I am capable of such hatred for you.

I am gonna cut you like day old, holla.

I am Kathy Bates.

I am sick of your snide comments.

I can't believe it.

I can't cheat on my wife.

I can't read your language, I can only speak.

I cannot hear those words again.

I danced to Madonna. I drank Merlot. How come I don't feel anything?

I deserve a little respect.

I don't blame you. It's a total scam.

I don't care about the money.

I don't deserve it.

I don't even care anymore. I'm through with you.

I don't get this.

I don't have time for your nonsense.

I don't understand.

I don't wanna live.

I envy your innocence.

I feel like a Jew outside of New York or Los Angeles.

I got remarried.

I got your money.

I guess it's time to have sex.

I had everything, a family, a great job.

I hate food.

I have to admit, I'm a little nervous.

I heard what you said about me. I was eavesdropping.

I I meant a a pretty younger girl.

I know.

I like cake.

I mean, I I wouldn't want to come between you and your real dad.

I mean, I've always respected you.

I need you. You're my muse.

I said Merry Christmas.

I see what's going on here.

I think I got a bad case of full moon fever.

I wanna be gay. I choose to be gay.

I was hoping I could take you to dinner and then afterwards have sex with you.

I was just fine until you all decided to teach me a lesson by scheming against me.

I will never be your dad.

I will not buy your encyclopedias.

I'll call you hot rod.

I'll marry the crap out of you.

I'll pay you $2.00 an hour and all the Mr Pibb you can drink.

I'll pay you 450 an hour and all the Mr Pibb you can drink.

I'm a CIA man myself.

I'm a power top.

I'm gonna kick your ass.

I'm hated. I'm surrounded by people who hate me.

I'm hideous.

I'm just enjoying the lifestyle.

I'm looking for my son.

I'm Mr pibb.

I'm not feeling so good.

I'm not gay, I'm just enjoying the lifestyle.

I'm not the problem, you're the problem.

I'm not waiting more than 10 minutes.

I'm not your dad.

I'm recently divorced.

I'm selling candy to raise money so my soccer team can get new uniforms. Will you help us?

I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to listen to my complaints. It's not like you could relate.

I'm sorry.

I'm straight.

I'm sweaty.

I'm through with you.

I've decided to have sex with a man.

I've never felt that way before, and I haven't since.

I've never slept with anyone except you.

If a girl asks for naked pictures of you, she's probably a dude.

If my terminology is correct, I'm a power top.

Illegal alien.

In 10 years you could be making 5 bucks an hour and be up to 7 pips a day.

In your face.

India.

Is it $0.99?

Is that what you call me behind my back?

It turns out that being gay is not a choice.

It's like my wife doesn't even care anymore.

It's like you have to lie to live.

It's my daughter, Haley.

It's such an intense experience.

It's the first of many.

It's weird. I don't feel anything.

Jane Fonda.

Just a minute.

Kathy Bates, I am Kathy Bates.

Kiss my ass, money.

Last night I kissed a man named Terry.

Lawyer.

Let me show you how much I care about you.

Lies.

Look, I'm straight.

Look, this is ridiculous. How can you be gay and Republican?

Loud.

Ma'am.

Marijuana.

Maximum 2A day.

Me.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Mr jolly.

Mr pibb.

Mr. President.

Mr. President.

My penis is not a dog.

No, I'm gonna kick your ass.

No, it's not fair.

No, not really.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Nobody criticizes me. Nobody.

Nope.

Nope.

Not bird.

Not that bad.

Now shut up. I can't think with your baby.

Of course not, kiddo.

Of course.

Oh boy, I'm not feeling so good.

Oh my God, I'm not beloved.

Oh my God.

Oh, oh, oh.

Ohh absolutely.

Ohh alright, OK gotcha.

Ohh am I?

Ohh I cannot wait for the rapture.

Ohh I don't wanna live.

Ohh men.

Ohh no.

Ohh right.

Ohh, come on. Why does it always have to be a racial thing with you blacks?

Ohh, you are so dead.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohm.

OK, loud, loud.

OK, you got me.

OK.

OK.

One of your items please.

Please continue.

President Bush is a good, honest man, and you're a liar.

Profughi.

Queasy.

Remind me never to go to the circus with you, we'd have nothing to talk about.

Right.