Parks and Recreation - Season 1 Edit

A couple city planners like to drink beer

A couple of ladies are coming to bust up your little boys' club.

A couple of weeks ago, I was yelling at Leslie at a public forum.

A lot of them seemed to hate a park yesterday.

A park, huh? Okay.

A situation will arise where you could hook me up.

A symbol of hope, and of our project.

A video of me drinking some of that wine you stole.

A young law breaker. A future Leslie Knope.

About that thing you said about me and Andy.

About the ways we can improve our city.

About what?

Abraham Lincoln, when he started his speeches,

Absolutely. I love a good ribbon cutting.

Absolutely. Now, is this park gonna have a playground or,

Absolutely. Okay.

Absolutely. You'll have my answer within the month.

Across from Pioneer Hall since 1958.

Actually, this is a little fun. This is fun.

After a fitful night of sleep...

After he traded them a baby for what is now Indianapolis.

After my head hit that rod.

After we had those problems with the cats.

All of a sudden, there's all this federal money coming in,

All right, Mr. Mayor. That sounds good.

All right, okay.

All right, take five, guys. I'm gonna go acoustic.

All right, Team Haverford. You guys are awesome,

All right, you guys. All right, all right. I'll ask him.

All right, you know what?

All right! All right.

All right. 'Cause I hate driving.

All right. Hey, guys! Thanks for coming out.

All the movers and shakers who come through Pawnee

Also, is the park gonna be at least 1,000 feet from my house?

Always thought we'd make a great team.

Am I talking to the two sexiest thighs in landscaping?

Am I the only Person here who doesn't know Janine Restrepo?

An abandoned lot on sullivan street has been proposed as the site of a new park.

An encore. I like it.

And a developer dug out a basement for some condos,

And a little trivia,

And a positive article could go a long way towards making that happen.

And actually, if anyone here plays bass, we need a bassist.

And also informs people about a small public works project.

And amended by our city council.

And andy is the citizen who fell in it.

And ask them to put up the money.

And basically this place is gonna be like a sparkling palace when she returns.

And big cities and real people

And blink our feelings to each other, rather than use words.

And both words are misspelled.

And check this out. Washed my shorts. How do you like that?

And cheese!

And committees make things happen.

And contributed to the delinquency of a minor.

And Dawn Krink slept her way to the top of the DMV.

And delicious beverages and hot guys.

And every day, as a woman, I have to walk past this wall of men.

And finally,we've got ann perkins and andy dwyer.

And having dog poop fights.

And he has valuable information that could help us build a park.

And he was convicted of crimes against the soldiers.

And I agree with you. They are nature's bandits.

And I am 100% against this park.

And I am just so psyched that Janine Restrepo is here.

And I can do whatever I want.

And I convinced her to go stop a crime that was going on outside.

And I do find you attractive.

And I don't know what the Tellenson Award is,

And I don't really appreciate what's happening right here.

And I fell in and broke my legs. Such a tragedy.

And I fell in some prickly bushes.

And I fully support it, as would the rest of the youth in the community.

And I got it lowered 2 inches.

And I have more power than Janine Restrepo, so I can do whatever I want.

And I have my own subcommittee.

And I heard you loud and clear.

And I just wanted to mix things up a little bit, you know?

And I live in the neighborhood.

And I need to hold myself up to a higher standard.

And I need you to sell the crap out of the park. Can you do that?

And I put a link to this page!

And I think I should probably stay.

And I think I'm about to break one of those rules.

And I want to hear from all of you. One by one.

And I want to thank you for meeting me today.

And I was like,maybe I should get that.

And I was taking the shortcut home,and I thought I saw a toaster lying in the pit.

And I will destroy you all!

And I will go to that location tomorrow,

And I would like to apologize to them, right now,

And I would love to listen to someone else. Someone I don't know.

And I'm an adult.

And I'm coping, but it was tough on the kids.

And I'm sleeping with my clothes on

And I've already landed a Parks Department exploratory subcommittee.

And I've handled a lot of things that I'm proud of.

And if five years ago, you told me I was gonna be in this ballroom

And if so, he's succeeding.

And if you get motion sickness, you know,

And if you guys agree with me, let's take a stand.

And if you weren't thinking it,

And it feels good to be needed.

And it is my dream to build a park.

And it is my favorite thing in the world.

And it was exhausting!

And it would be great if you could come, voice your strong support.

And it's a wonderful day for my subcommittee.

And it's because you're a woman!

And it's been there for almost a year.

And it's government owned,

And Jesus, honey. Tony Tellenson was the worst.

And Leslie gets plastered.

And let me tell you something, Ron.

And let me think about this relationship.

And maybe also a physical tournament, like a decathlon.

And maybe we can set something up for next month.

And my hair looked really good.

And nobody's done anything, and it's ugly, and it's dangerous,

And now we are Scarecrow Boat.

And now, a very special message from Mr. Anthony Tellenson himself,

And now, I'd like to take a magical journey

And others. In conclusion, my mom is Marlene Griggs Knope.

And Paul, the city manager, is telling us to build parks

And people come in, and you heal them.

And run entirely for profit by corporations.

And she fell inside.

And she had to get a ride from...

And she looks like a young Sandy Duncan.

And she's a bitch.

And she's a surgeon.

And she's as beautiful as Margaret Thatcher.

And she's on the zoning board.

And she's trying to keep it quiet.

And she's writing a really bad article and it's gonna destroy us all.

And so to avoid temptation, I'm gonna lock it up

And someday others will see that and we'll get our due.

And start new community programs. It's horrifying.

And that is tonight.

And that is why I had to whistle blow myself.

And that might help you slide down a little easier.

And that's it. Okay?

And that's the great thing about Indians, back then, is,

And the absolute worst day of my life.

And the entire government of Pawnee would like to let you know

And the fact that Restrepo loves feeling important.

And the fact that we're gonna turn it into a park.

And the guy's, "You my, you head."

And the only thing he's allowed to decide is who to nuke.

And the other two are crutches.

And the public is always watching.

And then if they don't fit her, maybe she'll give them to me.

And then it gets a little unpleasant,da da da,pretty drunk. Ann's on the pill.

And then tell her if she doesn't help you, and soon,

And then they went bankrupt,

And then they're like, "You did that twice."

And then when that's done, we're gonna put a park on the land.

And then you have to be like, "I forgot my keys."

And there were only 63 people in my class.

And there's still something very complicated between us, so...

And they made his legs into rain sticks.

And they made it into a dream catcher.

And they say, "President Knope, this park is awesome.

And think you're attractive.

And this is my youngest. He's about your age.

And this is our college intern, April.

And this is where you meet generally?

And together, we have decided to fast track your project.

And tonight we're gonna be taking some of your questions as... Hello?

And was met soon after by an angry tribe of Wamapoke Indians,

And we hope to see you all there. Thank you so much for coming.

And we want you all to come.

And we will fill in that pit,

And we'd love it if you came by.

And we're gonna go take a look at the pit.

And whatever you do, avoid a vote.

And when you're down there, you get some perspective about what it all means.

And who knows, you know? Maybe, down the line,

And who respect you

And women are brought to him, maybe,

And yes, I will wear my hair like this

And you can tell that the houses are very close to it.

And you gotta give them the business, and if you can't take it,

And you gotta snap towels at people,

And you have a similar world view

And you need to do something about it.

And you play that music, and it wakes them up.

And you put it in the pit's web page?

And you, too, Janine.

And you're blowing it with them. And that's making them lose interest in me.

And you're gonna have to testify.

And you're passionate about the same things, things can happen.

And, this guy, is it pretty serious? Are you guys living together?

Andy being in a cast has definitely put a crimp in our social life.

Andy fell into that pit. I fell into that pit.

Andy was drunk when he fell in the pit. And it turns out that ann is on birth control pills.

Andy, I can't leave now.

Andy,god!

Andy,I just I can't I can't believe I'm just finding this out right now.

Andy! God!

Andy.

Andy. Andy. We need to talk.

Andy. This is so sweet.

Andy's band is playing a show.

Andy's band is really good, and it's been driving him nuts that he can't play.

Andy's playing a show tonight,

Angel Snack, Just the Tip, Three Skin...

Ann

Ann and I are a team. You guys are a team.

Ann is amazing.

Ann was the citizen who brought the pit to our attention.

Ann, did you clear your schedule?

Ann, let me speak with you for a minute.

Ann, you don't understand politics. Look, nursing is easy.

Another dynasty. What a testament to my mother.

Any cool stories you got, huh?

Any questions?

Anyone else who would like to contribute?

Anyway, we're having a town hall meeting tomorrow at 7:00 p.m.

Apparently, tonight, I'm the Parks Department's seventh wheel.

Apparently, what I can achieve in government can literally be measured.

April got on my computer.

April ludgate,19. Cool enough to be invited anywhere and chooses to be here.

April might get dismissed. You could get fired.

April, please stand behind me.

April, we're leaving, you're in charge.

April. April, I need you in the audience. Okay.

April. Let me ask you something.

Are they gonna ask that?

Are we ever gonna turn it into a park?

Are you actually hitting on me right now?

Are you gonna commit to coming to this meeting tomorrow,

Are you making love to him on a couch shaped like his mustache?

Are you okay? I have to get something from my car.

Are you okay? Oh, my God!

Are you related to that Marlene Something Knope?

Are you sure that's the best thing for you right now?

Are you sweating through your suit?

As a symbol of how I feel about government.

At 5:00 in the morning, every morning, beep, beep, beep!

At that table are all eight living Tellenson Award winners.

Attending yet another meeting of the old boys' club.

Awesome. Glad to have you. Let me get you a beer.

Babe, hey. We're just about to start.

Babe, I'm out of milk.

Babe, when are you gonna tell them about my show?

Bacon wrapped shrimp.

Bam!

Bam! Hit them up, man.

Basically, I'm wearing something

Basketball court, regulation football field.

Bass! Come on.

Be my guest. The sullivan street pit is always going to be a pit.

Because I don't believe in government.

Because I need my sleep. I put some...

Because I was waiting for my sister and I was bored,

Because I would be lying if I said less.

Because I'm in a crappy mood,

Because of the silent K. You're so smart. Yeah.

Because there's some reports

Because we gave you anesthesia at the hospital.

Because we're holding this town hall meeting so soon,

Because, today, Andy Dwyer is getting his casts off.

Because, you know, he's a city planner, but he's more than that.

Because, you know, I really can't move again.

Becky and Stacy are boring.

Before he lost the power of speech.

Before we continue, I'd love to just give you a little history of Pawnee.

Before we do that, I want everyone up,

Before we turn it into a park? Zero. Say it.

Behind me are all the members of the city council over the past 30 years.

Bert Winfield was a blackmailer.

Bert Winfield, Geoffrey Morglesberg, Quentin Arble, Dawn Krink,

Blackmailing that woman.

Boom!

Boom!

Boom!

Brendanawicz. Let's bounce. We're gonna be late.

Brilliant political strategy, Mark.

Bring their kids down there.

Bureaucrats, miles of red tape...

But oh,my god. Sorry.

But anyway, he fell in and broke both his legs.

But at this moment in my life,

But he told me that you told him he should wait.

But her husband got a DUI in Illinois last week.

But I am a woman

But I been changing, too

But I decided to leave in the middle of it 'cause I figured I nailed it so why push it,right?

But I didn't say anything to her.

But I do know she's too nice to yell at me in front of all these people.

But I don't want to sound braggy. What do I do?

But I don't want to...

But I feel I can tell you anything.

But I have to go to the meeting. I have to go.

But I have to say it's a very sweet aftertaste though.

But I just don't like living near parks.

But I make out with him when I'm drunk sometimes.

But I think I might work better as a solo artist.

But I think we could be a multi generational

But I think we're gonna have to postpone the town meeting.

But I wanna go to the concert!

But I'll meet up with you guys after the tÍte ‡ tÍte, I promise.

But I'm here to talk about the abandoned lot on Sullivan Street.

But if I were, would you be interested?

But it looks like you're super busy, and I am super busy,

But it was tough on their kids.

But it... It fell off.

But it's like Matchbox Twenty meets The Fray.

But my dad never won an award, and he was always happy.

But my wife understands that a good politician has to be appealing to the ladies.

But not here. Okay? 'Cause we're a nation of dreamers.

But now things have changed.

But politics is different, you know?

But she seems kind of engaged in something

But that stuff was off the record.

But the music is so loud.

But then again, I'm not one to talk.

But then we changed it because a girl got pregnant.

But then we changed it to Mouse Rat.

But then you made it worse.

But then,ann and andy sandbagged me.

But there's tons of guys out there who have jobs

But they totally exist. I did not make them up.

But this hotel always serves bacon wrapped shrimp.

But this pit,

But today felt like 100 years in hell

But we will have many public forums in the future,

But we would love for you to come to the meeting and to...

But what...

But whatever, he's a douchebag.

But you can not enjoy this basket, I'm so sorry

But you did open the gift basket. And the intern did drink the wine.

But you were right,and I should've listened to you.

But you're being a huge dork.

But, Ann, please open the sealed envelope that's in your binder.

But, is it possible?

But, Marlene, girl, you are too sexy!

But, seriously, I mean, really?

But, you know, that's Pawnee. That's democracy.

Buy you a cup of coffee?

By Norton Juster.

Bye,leslie. Bye,ann.

Bye.

Bye.

Call my secretary and we'll set it up.

Called it. I called that.

Came from Terre Haute on an ox.

Can I ask you a few questions?

Can I read you some of these quotes?

Can I say over 100%?

Can I settle up, please?

Can we go in your car? Absolutely.

Can we stop, please? Because it's really hot, and I'm tired.

Can you do that?

Can you go over the time line for us once more?

Can you please go away? Get out of the slide. Okay?

Can you tell us what happened?

Can... Thanks.

Canvassing was okay,

Certainly did not. He's the man.

Certainly.

Chicken, chicken, chicken!

City Hall is like a locker room, and you gotta get in there,

City manager? Wow. Really?

Classic Salvatore!

Come on in.

Come on, now, you promised we'd go hit on chicks.

Come on, Ron. I've been a loyal foot soldier.

Come on! I'm serious!

Come on! Play hooky! Blow off the meeting.

Come on. You're over 21.

Committees are the lifeblood of our democratic system.

Community outreach public forum.

Condo developer. He dug a basement, and then he went bankrupt.

Connect it to what you want,

Cool Ranch, got it. Anything else?

Cool. How long have you guys been dating?

Could I have gotten my casts off two weeks ago?

Could the 4 year old watch the 2 year old? Okay.

Could you do me a favor, for old times' sake?

Could you go into detail a little bit about that?

Could you grab me a triple whiskey water?

Could you just be still?

Could you make me pancakes real quick?

Could you pass me my itch stick?

Could you put your arms to your side?

Could you tell us how you feel about this park?

Crap on a stick. Okay,technically,yes,it was nepotism.

Damn it! I was so close there!

Damn it. I missed it?

Dead or asleep?

Definitely am. Fired up.

Definitely you should talk to him. Yeah.

Democracy's happening.

Department of Homeland Obscurity,

Deputy Director Knope.

Did she say call her or call her secretary?

Did you guys get a grant to do this?

Did you hear that?

Did you say it was off the record?

Did you tell him we were on a date?

Disaster averted.

Divvying up the empire.

Do I know you?

Do you ever cheat on your taxes?

Do you have one of those neck foam collar brace things?

Do you have to say it's off the record? Oh,my god.

Do you have, like, a nurse's costume? Costume?

Do you like that?

Do you live near mark? No,not at all.

Do you think I'm in the top five best looking indian guys in pawnee? No.

Do you want me to run some test questions with you?

Do you want to cash in for this?

Doctor, if I may, could I keep that cast, please?

Does anybody have any questions about permits?

Does he drive much

Doesn't matter. What do you think of the house, huh?

Doesn't this neighborhood deserve a first class park?

Don from Don's Cement. Tom Haverford. Good to see you.

Don's

Don's cement It's the best you can get

Don't call him right now!

Don't hold it against me.

Don't move around as much.

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry. I can print more.

Doorbell!

Doorbell!

Dream with me for a second, Ann.

Drinking wine... Leslie. Come here.

Drive much?

Dude. What is your problem?

Easy!

Especially when you have sex with someone who is so skanky. I mean,have sex with her? I di

Even if it takes two months.

Even though you did just call him a big, lying baby.

Every now and then we have these little gatherings,

Everybody wants to know what your decision is.

Everyone's looking at us.

Excellent! Positive response.

Excellent. That sounds like a good idea. Tell us about that.

Excuse me?

Excuse me? Can't you read that children's book on your own time?

Fast track? Did my name come up at all?

Feeling good? Feeling strong?

Filibuster!

Fine! You want the truth?

Fine.

Flames for Flames, Muscle Confusion,

Flash forward to 1969.

Fondly.

For a while,it was a teenage nature hike.

For corruption reasons.

For Excellence in Pawnee Public Service.

For instance?

Former Councilman Schnable.

Formerly foreskin,but our bassist left for personal reasons.

Four and two.

Frankly we've got a lot more questions.

From an old burrito.

From time to time, when I think of an eloquent saying or a phrase,

George. George!

Get her hair!

Get out. Get out of my house.

Give it to me!

Give me a few positive talking points,

Give me my shot. Let me have Lot 48.

Go ahead, Leslie.

Go on and chuck it.

Go to jail? What's going on?

Go!

God, I hope I wasn't as obnoxious as those people.

God, I loved it!

God, when I hear myself say Scarecrow Boat out loud, I kind of hate it.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon. We are representatives from your local government.

Good evening, sir.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Good girl, good girl, good "probably."

Good girl. Okay, here we go. Line up, everybody.

Good idea,ann. I bet he didn't use a condom.

Good morning.

Good thing I was wearing that hard hat.

Good, because the cover up is worse than the crime.

Good. That's a good thing.

Good. You're doing great.

Government work can beat you down.

Great.

Great.

Great.

Great. It's cool if I record this,right?

Great. So what do you think the odds are that this park is actually gonna get made?

Great. Would you be willing to come to a town meeting and show your support?

Guilty as charged. I'm in a band.

Guys, let's get our stuff out of the boxes. Let's go.

Guys, we have to get me to talk to Janine Restrepo.

Ham.

Hard.

Have a beer with me.

Have I ever given in to that temptation?

Have sat in that chair at one point or another.

Have to stare right down the barrel.

Have you ever had a sexual dream about our boss, Ron Swanson?

He also happens to be the top sod guy in Indiana.

He beats me every time. He kills me. He's awesome.

He did,actually. He totally called that.

He did.

He doesn't do a lot of work around here.

He doesn't like her.

He has two broken legs.

He is a local resident and he tragically fell in the pit.

He just... He knows where the bodies are buried.

He left with Tom.

He lives in Florida, in a cemetery.

He planted his flag in the ground

He shows zero initiative. He's not a team player.

He takes care of her, I guess.

He tried to re segregate the drinking fountains.

He was a pioneer who was killed by a tribe of Wamapoke Indians,

He was crossing through to get home, and then he fell right there.

He was probably thinking with the head of his weiner instead of the head of his brain. Oh,god. Andy,come on.

He would come up and say, "My name's Abraham Lincoln.

He wrote this new song about what happened to him called The Pit.

He's a gentleman I met canvassing.

He's a smart, capable guy.

He's a very no nonsense person like yourself.

He's always staring at my chest.

He's amazing and congratulations for hearing him speak.

He's been writing all these songs about things that are physically near him.

He's capable of anything. Okay.

He's collecting them for my memoirs.

He's just weak. You have to take care of him.

He's kind of like a fixer. He fixes things.

He's laid back. I'm more in your face, but in a fun way.

He's like the gayest person I've ever met.

He's never one to go that extra mile.

He's the City Manager in Eagleton.

He's the guy that plays music all night in his garage.

Hear that? He called me "park lady."

Hello, everyone. I'm Leslie Knope, Marlene's daughter.

Hello, Madame Zoning Board Member Janine Restrepo.

Hello, Pawnee government! My name is Tom Haverford.

Hello,mark. May I come into your office?

Hello. Hi.

Help! Help! Help! Tom!

Her name is tammy swanson and she's a serious bitch.

Here we are.

Here we go, Lawrence.

Here we go.

Here, baby. Sit down. I'm gonna put something on those scratches.

Here, I'm gonna pretend to be Janine Restrepo. You, be you. Go.

Here's Leslie's quote from Wednesday.

Hey haverford,maybe one day you'll figure out how to spell a three letter word.

Hey, am I keeping you from something?

Hey, Ann, where's Mark?

Hey, babe! Baby, open up!

Hey, Dr. Harris.

Hey, I am not the one on trial here.

Hey, Leslie. Hey.

Hey, look, the pit already has six friends.

Hey, man. Give me the photo back. What's going on?

Hey, Mark, congratulations.

Hey, Mark.

Hey, Parks Department.

Hey, Table 12. Can I get a "what what?"

Hey, the band's really good.

Hey, we're closing up.

Hey, what's up, people of Pawnee?

Hey, who wants to see me climb a tree?

Hey, you're into pretzels, right?

Hey, you're welcome, Ann.

Hey,I just got your 15 texts.

Hey,leslie. Um,I have to go. Let's do the interview tomorrow morning at the pit.

Hey,leslie. You're home.

Hey,mark. Yeah.

Hey,you busy?

Hey,you should write an article on unicorns,because they're more likely to exist than this park.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Congratulations are in order.

Hey! Hey! Hello? Boys!

Hey! Hi!

Hey! Hi!

Hey! I recognize her.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. I want you to meet my wife.

Hey. Thank you so much for meeting us.

Hey. Turn that down.

Hey...

Hi there. Leslie might have oversold me a little bit.

Hi, Ann. I wish I could talk. Moving and shaking.

Hi, April.

Hi, George Gernway. I'm Tom Haverford.

Hi, how are you?

Hi, Mom. He thinks we're on a date.

Hi,I'm looking for leslie knope. Okay.

Hi,this is deputy director of parks and recreation Leslie?

Hi!

Hi. Can I talk to you for a second?

Hi. Have we ever met?

Hi. Hi, hi.

Hi. I'm Ann Perkins.

Hi. I'm Wendy Haverford.

Hi. Sorry I'm late. Oh,no problem.

Hi. You're Tom's wife.

Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin, me, Nancy Pelosi.

Hmm, he said some upsetting things.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Home. It's been a really crappy night.

Homeowners' associations, anti government nuts,

Honestly, Leslie, it's gonna be a long, uphill battle.

Honestly, my clavicle's broken.

Honestly, you're fine.

Honey, can you straighten up your area a little bit?

Honey, do you mind doing that somewhere else?

Honey, I'm just debriefing with the band.

Honey, if I told you it was a date, you never would've gone.

Honey, she's totally blowing us off.

Horace Rangel used the police department to harass journalists.

Horace Rangel, Wilmer Vism and Oscar Pfortmiller.

How about Monday?

How about some stolen wine?

How about this one?

How big is the lot? How big is what?

How come you don't dress up like that for me?

How did Leslie meet her boyfriend?

How difficult is re zoning in your town?

How dressy is this, exactly?

How important are speeches?

How many drinks do you have per week, on average?

How many more Pawnee citizens are gonna have to fall into that pit

How many sexual partners have you had in the last year?

How much can they hate a park?

How old are your kids?

How was your date with Leslie?

How would you feel if we turned that pit into a beautiful community park?

How you doing, son?

How you spell your name. Of course.

How's it going? Tom Haverford.

How's my number one sod man doing?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? Not bad for a guy with two broken legs.

I accidentally ate an old burrito. What?

I am always amazed at his... quiet dignity.

I am from Bennettsville, South Carolina.

I am getting very positive signals.

I am Leslie Knope from the Parks... What are you doing?

I am Leslie Knope. I am the daughter of the honoree this evening.

I am Leslie Knope. I work for the Department of Parks and Recreation.

I am the deputy director of the Parks and Recreation Department,

I am what you might call a redneck.

I appreciate and thank you in advance for your unwavering support.

I asked Ron to blow the whistle on me, and he refused.

I call it Ann.

I came in through the window last night

I can build one park.

I can do this. I just need a little help.

I can't beat him. I should just close my account.

I can't believe my mom tried to set me up with an 80 year old man.

I can't believe you fell in, too. That's awesome.

I can't believe you gave him your home phone number.

I can't speak of the future, but I will.

I cannot believe the department is moving forward with a project

I checked it out like a month ago. It's pretty gross.

I could cut the song. The song's cut.

I could help. Give me something to do.

I did it for a guy.

I did not know that at the time.

I did. I changed my shift.

I didn't clear anything.

I didn't do anything wrong.

I didn't expect anyone in government to reach out to us.

I didn't throw up,I spit up.

I didn't...

I don't I guess I don't know anything.

I don't believe it.

I don't care if there's gonna be a vote.

I don't care. Turn it down.

I don't even know if that's true or not.

I don't even know what lexicons are. I thought that was a luxury automobile.

I don't get you and...

I don't hang out with them.

I don't know if they can do that.

I don't know, ask the Gettysburg Address.

I don't know, she's a little doofy, but she's sweet.

I don't know. I was pretty wasted.

I don't know. Potpourri?

I don't like obscenities just as much as you don't like them.

I don't mean to complain,but I think shauna is being a little unprofessional.

I don't mind hooking you up.

I don't really know Leslie's mom,

I don't think a single egg has been found yet.

I don't think I could do that.

I don't think so.

I don't wanna talk to you.

I don't want anyone to see! I'm the Deputy Director of Parks...

I don't want this Parks Department to build any parks

I don't want to be overdramatic,

I don't want to hear that. Now, how long is this project gonna take?

I don't want to see any double dribble.

I don't want to see any three second violations.

I don't want to talk about it anymore.

I don't want to. I want to live in America.

I doubt it. It's a very breathable fabric...

I drove by one of your fences the other day.

I enjoy government functions

I fed you meals, and you could've had your casts off two weeks ago!

I feel like we might be taking up too much of the forum's time.

I got dinner.

I got seven letters in my file.

I got wine!

I had a nice time. Don't think I'll go out with her again.

I have a boyfriend. He's a man.

I have a lot of stage experience, so...

I have a moral code, and I never violate it.

I have a secret weapon, canvassing.

I have always tried to live my life in an ethical way, and last night, I failed.

I have more of a comment than a question. Go for it.

I have my own subcommittee now.

I have no idea why Ann is upset with me.

I have the floor!

I have to cancel this meeting.

I have Tom write it down.

I have waited on him hand and foot for two months.

I have written a full confession,

I haven't been dating much either since my divorce.

I haven't been out in so long.

I heard it. I'm getting it.

I heard that you got that speed bump thing through.

I hope your husband gets help and that you have a long and happy marriage.

I just put 12 new batteries in that thing!

I just want the best monkey bars I can get in my park.

I just wanted to say...

I just wanted to tell you that I didn't go through with it,

I just wanted to tell you that I think

I just work right there.

I kind of feel like I'm already in the boys' club.

I knew that couldn't have been you. You don't have the vocabulary.

I know about things.

I know that your husband is a drunk driver.

I know you been changing

I know you don't have a lot of time

I know. I know. I know! That's why I fake invited you.

I know. That's awesome.

I know. You can't even spell vocabulary.

I know. You're destroying me.

I like all kinds of movies.

I like the sound of that definitely.

I like your hairdo, Leslie.

I liked that song Grapple Hound.

I love Great Lakes wine.

I love you, Mom.

I loved every minute of it.

I mean no disrespect.

I mean until now,my only experience with government was trying to get a recycling bin.

I mean, Ann, you look stunning, but, Leslie, wow.

I mean, he's the guy that made Larry Bird look the way he does.

I mean, I don't know. You know...

I mean, I don't think anybody in government actually cares about...

I mean, I like Andy a lot.

I mean, I think Ann and I are really good people,

I mean, I want to win a Tellenson Award some day.

I mean, it doesn't make any sense to me.

I mean, it is. It's a big deal.

I mean, Kennedy put a man on the moon.

I mean, look at those bitches clean up after me.

I mean, the list includes such amazing people as

I mean, there's crap everywhere.

I mean, you gotta loosen up.

I mean,I'm sure you remember the tucker park graffiti removal project.

I mean,I'm sure you remember the tucker park graffiti removal project.

I mean,why don't we just go back in there and talk about the park?

I need more firepower. I need bigger guns.

I need something to drink.

I need to let people know that I'm forging my own path

I need to mention the park and in a very subtle way,

I need to speak with you about something very sensitive.

I need you back there, man.

I never said "obese." I said "is my mother."

I never should have opened that stupid basket.

I never should've done anything with that reporter. Whoa! You nailed malwae tweep? Nice.

I pinky promise all of you that I will help,

I play a lot of online scrabble with my boss,ron swanson,and oh,my god,

I realize I have let down every female public official in America,

I really admire you.

I really admire your tenacity.

I really did think that that stuff that I said was off the record.

I really like this restaurant.

I really want you to nail this.

I really, really like it when you serve me food.

I refuse to lather Marlene up, kiss her ring like everybody else.

I saw you survive that town hall meeting.

I should show them Andy's medical bills.

I think he'd probably be hurt.

I think I should head home now.

I think it's 'cause I wanted to shatter the glass ceiling.

I think it's going quite well.

I think it's probably just a photo op for her.

I think she could be very useful. What's my in?

I think she's crying in that one. Look at this one.

I think that all government is a waste of taxpayer money.

I think that would be great.

I think there's gonna be a good turnout at Andy's show tonight.

I think we're gonna meet a little earlier than what you said.

I think what we want to do at that point is start getting the energy up.

I think you might be taking this to the public a little bit too soon.

I think you should go home, Mark.

I think you should go to jail.

I think you're fine.

I think your mom's giving you bad advice.

I thought I told you not to make this worse.

I thought you were a dude.

I thought you were hitting on me in front of my boyfriend.

I took a bunch of painkillers.

I totally get what you mean.

I tried to get her to pull some of those quotes and things got a little dicey.

I tried, but I just couldn't do it.

I violated the government employee ethics code of the state of Indiana.

I waited on you hand and foot.

I want my daughter to be successful,

I want to introduce you to Leslie.

I want you to give Lot 48 to Leslie

I wanted to apologize to you.

I wanted to thank you all for being so supportive.

I was acting strange at the pit and the reason is because I had food poisoning...

I was going for wow.

I was letting him win,dumbass.

I was like, "Man, that fence looks awesome." I was like, of course, Roy's.

I was probably not thinking 'cause I had two broken femurs and I was,like,blackout drunk.

I was qualified. It's not like it was nepotism.

I was talking to the city manager, exchanging ideas.

I was thinking of a jingle for your company. How's this?

I was told it was black tie.

I wasn't offering.

I wasn't, right?

I went to dinner tonight with somebody's grandpa.

I will blow this in proportion!

I will try.

I will.

I wish I could say some of this mess was Ann's, but it's all mine.

I wish I had your courage.

I wish we could turn it into a pit, frankly, don't you?

I would give up on that one.

I would have to get a babysitter.

I would rather work for Chuck E. Cheese.

I would say that I lost my optimism about government in about two months.

I would say, is it likely? No, it's not likely, you know.

I wrote that for Ann.

I, for one, am glad that they're keeping him alive.

I... We had a brief affair in February of 2004.

I... You know they say that democracy or whatever

I'd go to a banquet and honor of those Somali pirates,

I'd like to invite anyone who has a few words to say to Marlene

I'll be right back.

I'll get one for you on the way home.

I'll make her feel like a human dinner roll.

I'll push anything through anything. You know me.

I'll see you Monday, okay?

I'll see you on Saturday for the Ultimate Frisbee game.

I'll tell you what's up.

I'll try to be there.

I'll try. Don't expect much.

I'm a nurse, and frankly, I don't really care for politics,

I'm a rocket ship.

I'm a woman, he's a... I think he's a Libyan.

I'm Ann, everyone. I don't work here.

I'm barely 34,

I'm doing a little experiment tonight to see what will get me drunker.

I'm George. I'm Leslie's date.

I'm going in.

I'm going through the park and someone's like,

I'm going to see my mom.

I'm gonna be in my office.

I'm gonna go peacock it out. I'll be back.

I'm gonna leave before you change your mind.

I'm gonna put a lot of fun.

I'm gonna say something. I don't want you to take it the wrong way.

I'm gonna take a glass of water first, if I may.

I'm headed to the salon right now.

I'm in your club. I'm in your club.

I'm in your club. I'm in your club.

I'm just an open person, and I like connecting with people.

I'm just gonna grab my phone quickly. Sorry.

I'm kind of a nester.

I'm leaving now, honey.

I'm Leslie Knope, and with me is department member Tom Haverford.

I'm Leslie Knope, Deputy Director of Parks and Recreation.

I'm Leslie Knope.

I'm leslie knope. I'm the deputy director of parks and recreation.

I'm Marlene's daughter.

I'm not above using my expertise

I'm not an animal. My tongue is swelling up. No,no,don't touch

I'm not an idiot. I know tom has been losing to me on purpose. But I like tom.

I'm not happy about it either, Tom.

I'm oddly attracted to Kate Spivack.

I'm off the clock, April. You don't need to call me sir.

I'm so glad you're here.

I'm sorry, two weeks ago?

I'm sorry? Did you say something?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. It'S... it's actually called a subcommittee,not a committee,so.

I'm sure this must be really tough for you.

I'm surprised no one's complained about this. Oh,tons of people have.

I'm talking about the pit you fell in.

I'm telling you, you should be dating men

I'm trying to watch TV.

I'm your department head. I have to be.

I'm, you know, very comfortable around women, attractive women.

I've also attached a link to the pit's web page,

I've been dying to go out with Mark.

I've been focusing on my career. Why do you ask?

I've been quite open about this around the office.

I've been searching for 25 minutes and I haven't found a single egg.

I've created this office...

I've got a few rules about how to survive and prosper in a government job,

I've got my little three year old,

I've got some sunscreen for your beaks.

I've invited a reporter to come do an article about the pit behind your house

I've read everything you've ever written.

I've seen you hook up with more trashy chicks

I've spent a lot of time with them. And I just... I don't know.

I've spoken to you a couple of times about something that happened,

If a bomb went off in here, it would definitely make the Indianapolis papers.

If he had his casts removed two weeks ago,

If I want to rent a movie with nudity in it.

If there was a Tellenson Award for hooking up with trashy chicks all the time,

If they served bacon wrapped shrimp. Excuse me.

If you can handle that, I think you'll be fine.

If you could put anything in the park, what would you put in there?

If you want to do anything more serious,

If you want to guarantee the results of a survey,

If you want to slap her on the wrist, go ahead.

If you wanted to just... Look, I know it sounds weird,

If you're into chocolate muffins, grab as many you want.

Imagine a shiny new playground with a jungle gym and swings,

In 1994, I gave her a nickname.

In a town as old as Pawnee, there's a lot of history in every acre.

In fact,it was going perfect.

In or out, Leslie. Doorway is creepy.

In relationships with your body, just in...

In the courtyard on Tuesday nights.

In the last year than I can count, all right?

Including dreams.

Individually, and in alphabetical order.

Instead I'll be delivering a speech of facts.

Into a beautiful community park?

Is a disappointment to both of us.

Is an official reprimand from the city manager.

Is because they're afraid of what Marlene'll do to them if they don't.

Is he covered in Powerade?

Is he wearing a football uniform?

Is jumping the gun a little bit.

Is people caring loudly at me.

Is that a promise?

Is that a travel pillow around your neck?

Is the annual Easter egg hunt.

Is there any way that you guys could do like an encore or something?

Is this fun for you?

Is to get right into the battle zone, you know?

Is your connection with me, of course,

Isn't the best that we can do in America.

It can be tricky dealing... Don't...

It can be very upsetting. Especially because of that guy.

It depicts the very famous battle at Conega Creek.

It doesn't really seem like you.

It happened right out there, right outside this window.

It has come to my attention that you had sex with ms. Malwae tweep.

It hasn't been easy.

It is a great day for Andy,

It is gonna feel so good to walk again, finally.

It is one of the first structures in America to ever have locks.

It is the most exclusive local government event of the year.

It is true that you have won this award.

It kind of does.

It literally doesn't matter what you propose to the public.

It sounds like a magical evening.

It sounds like your mom's telling you to be slimy.

It was a great learning experience because my mom cast a long shadow

It was insane.

It was nice hanging out, you know, after work hours.

It was tough.

It wasn't you.

It went really well with Restrepo.

It'd be kind of rude to not do at least one more song.

It's "The Iron of Pawnee."

It's a good idea. But I'm just not sure.

It's a highly disgusting request, but I don't see why not.

It's a nice basket.

It's a park for God's sakes.

It's about appearing humble, you know?

It's called Just the Tip.

It's called peacocking.

It's driving me nuts.

It's for the guy in the casts.

It's fun to pretend to be zoning board members.

It's going very poorly. Okay? Mmm hmm.

It's gonna be a party, so check your suits at the door. It's gonna get crazy.

It's gonna be playing when she walks through the door today.

It's gonna take a little extra work. But why not try?

It's got excellent drainage. And it's on the corner of Sullivan and Collins.

It's just getting started!

It's just gonna be just one second.

It's just like my brother's. He's an officer in the Air Force.

It's like a political tÍte ‡ tÍte with a local bigwig.

It's like George Bush when he flew over New Orleans

It's like I don't even know you anymore.

It's locked.

It's loud, it's abusive, and it's waking up my birds.

It's more than a promise. It's a pinky promise.

It's Ms. Perkins' house.

It's my boom box now. I asked you nicely.

It's my first interview.

It's my proudest accomplishment.

It's not awesome, Andy.

It's not that big a deal.

It's not you. I just I'm exhausted. I got,like,zero sleep last night.

It's not you. I just I'm exhausted. I got,like,zero sleep last night.

It's nothing.

It's okay. You're allowed to fight.

It's one and two. Stay on message and stay on message. Right?

It's one of our best murals.

It's one of those rare songs that rocks really hard,

It's over. So she's available.

It's pretty and it smells good.

It's really not that big of a pit.

It's refreshing to be with someone who actually likes

It's so full of hope and small towns

It's still good, though.

It's unethical and it's irresponsible for a public servant to have sex

It's unrepeatable, but it stuck.

It's... It'll... Hang in.

It's... What I mean is, kids love parks and you should, too.

Janine? Hi.

Jerry, what's up, man?

Jerry's in charge of our preteen nature hikes.

Jet Black Pope, we went back to Mouse Rat,

Jj's diner gets a nice mention.

Just a bit! Just a taste!

Just a taste. Have a little taste of chicken!

Just being who you are.

Just here to gossip, gab, chat, stuff we do.

Just need to grab a quick hot dog.

Just played lexicons for a billion points.

Just saying. I...

Just to remind people of all the good work that I do.

Keep it simple, nice shady trees, lots of grass, benches.

Kevin, your sandboxes are the best. That's why I want you involved!

Ladies don't stand a chance.

Lamp! Wish you were a lamp that would light up when you get touched

Last night, I opened up this gift basket, for my own pleasure.

Last night, in a foolish attempt to infiltrate a boys' club,

Last year you wrote me up for making personal phone calls to my mom.

Lawrence lives with his grandma.

Lawrence, come on!

Leslie formed a committee to fill the pit in a week,

Leslie has never broken a rule in her life,

Leslie is unique.

Leslie Knope, builder of parks. How was canvassing?

Leslie took us out to that pit in Lot 48,

Leslie will be running it...

Leslie, are you okay?

Leslie, hello.

Leslie, I just have to say I...

Leslie, it's not that big a deal.

Leslie, should I give them some background info on the site?

Leslie, this is already a park!

Leslie, you're not gonna go? Come on!

Leslie,how big What?

Leslie,it's not that bad,right?

Leslie! Hold on, April's gonna get some photos for the website.

Leslie! Who's your friend?

Leslie?

Leslie? No.

Leslie's kept hers for six years.

Let me tell you something,tom. You suck at scrabble.

Let's blow on each ether's faces.

Let's bust up that old boys' club.

Let's do this, Mark.

Let's get down to brass tacks.

Let's go to the city council directly

Let's go. Bounce, bounce, bounce.

Let's keep looking. We're gonna find one.

Let's keep this good feeling going.

Let's make the speech work for us.

Let's not blow this out of proportion.

Let's not scare the kids. Okay.

Like Chuck E. Cheese.

Like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel toe boot.

Like the Kennedys, or the Bushes.

Like the White House Press Secretary. Are you ready?

Like we connected that night when we made love five years ago.

Like, huge rocks to be climbing on.

Like, I don't know, anything weird or funny happen

Like, you're crashing and burning.

Lined up behind that microphone,

Listen, just put the phone down.

Listen. Thank you for coming. I...I tried to stay on message.

Look at how hot she is. Isn't that crazy?

Look at me, out like a light.

Look at the photos of these ladies on his page.

Look at these guys! The key forgetting twins!

Look at this lady. She's got a thong on her face.

Look humble. But confident.

Look out, boys. I'm in your club now.

Look out,man. I'm gonna get one of these days. I'm practicing. Yeah,I doubt that.

Look what we have here. Country honeysuckle,

Look, here's the one, two, three of the situation.

Look, I don't work for the government, okay?

Look, I mean, you got Dirt Slide over here,

Look, I would love to come hit on chicks with you guys,

Look, just do a good job tomorrow. Okay?

Look. Dead or asleep?

Looking at your profile.

Loosen up. You're gonna drive yourself crazy

Lot 48 is... It's a rectangular lot.

Make any pancakes lately?

Make sure that he didn't say anything to hurt the project. Yeah.

Man walks on the moon.

Mark and I are really connecting tonight.

Mark and I made love once. And it was very intense.

Mark and I... It's complicated.

Mark Brendanawicz knows the answer to every question.

Mark Brendanawicz. Which Mark?

Mark, I have a letter in my file.

Mark,can I ask you a question?

Marlene Griggs Knope is my mom, but she's so much more than that.

Marlene Griggs Knope is my mother.

Marlene is a woman.

May we speak with you for a moment about the Sullivan Street pit?

Maybe because a pit filled with garbage

Maybe because it was in the Smithsonian.

Maybe give you an idea of what the disciplinary committee will be like?

Maybe I should mention her massive weight loss.

Maybe in your world it isn't a big deal.

Maybe over lunch. I'm buying.

Maybe they'd have a little sympathy.

Maybe those are his relatives.

Maybe Tom's trying to make this year a challenge.

Maybe we can just exchange numbers.

Maybe we could leave a little later.

Maybe you and Leslie can join us at the bar.

Maybe, down the line, there'll be a situation where you can hook me up.

Me, too.

Meets the road of actual human beings.

Melissa Bean.

Men are dogs. You know,maybe maybe they really like each other.

Men do that. It's disgusting.

Message. Great.

Michael Holloway, I don't know who that is, that's somebody's wife,

Michael,do you have any paper I could borrow? I might,yeah.

Michele Bachmann, Republican, Minnesota. I am sorry.

Mickey! What's up, buddy?

Might I ask who said that? Uh,mark brendanawicz.

Minus the drinking problem.

Miss Knope,

Mmm hmm.

Mmm hmm.

Mmm mmm. I'm fine.

Mmm.

Mmm. "Hey! You fast tracked that, right?"

Mmm... I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to get those tonight.

More than anybody else is gonna punish you.

Morning.

Most of the women I go out with find it boring.

Mr. Swanson, I presume. Lot 48. Thoughts? Yes? No? Me?

Ms. Knope, there's a drunk stuck in the slide.

My buddy Todd went there. Maybe you know him.

My car is in the front yard

My dream is to have the park system privatized

My feet hurt.

My girlfriend, Ann.

My goodness. Look at you.

My house is really close by. Let's just go take a break for an hour or so.

My idea of a perfect government is one guy,

My mom set up this meeting.

My mom told me.

My mom's here.

My mom's here. My mom's here.

My mother got me the job.

My mother is being honored at a banquet with the Tellenson Award

My name is Leslie Knope, and I work for the Parks and Recreation Department.

My name is Leslie Knope.

My only criticism, I hate the name of the band.

My subcommittee held its first town hall meeting tonight.

My top priority with this park, getting your fences in there.

My, God. She's filibustering her own meeting.

Mystery Trash.

Natalie, it's your sister.

Next.

Nice!

Nine out of 10 meth users said the same exact thing?

No kids.

No matter what direction I move,

No one is supposed to drink alcohol on government property.

No, but I am a big fan.

No, but yeah. Yeah, we did.

No, don't leave. I just got here.

No, I didn't do it for Leslie. I did it because I hate bureaucracy.

No, I didn't say "learning disabled."

No, I haven't gotten down there yet.

No, I'm just gonna get tough with her, Tellenson style.

No, I'm not saying that. No one said cover up.

No, I'm sorry. It's evidence.

No, it drives me crazy. I have kids.

No, it's a problem. It almost killed my boyfriend.

No, it's happening.

No, it's not. This is not communist China.

No, never. I'm not that kind of politician.

No, no, I said don't look.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no, no, not me.

No, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no. Never.

No, no.

No, no. Wait, what am I doing?

No, okay. Time out. Time out.

No, parks are not a priority.

No, that sounds great.

No, you're not.

No,just your kind of standard questions.

No,no,no,no,no. What?

No! No!

No! Not my style.

No! Screw it! We are Mouse Rat!

No! Smells so bad!

No.

No. He rescheduled. Said it was personal,

No. I can't do that. That's illegal.

No. I meant water.

No. I wrote that song.

No. I'm not. I promise you.

No. It's not possible.

No. No questions right now.

No. No way.

No. Oh, my God!

No. Please, you guys are the only people here I know.

No. What do you suggest we do?

No. What?

No. You're doing this meeting. You have my full support.

None of them were able to make it tonight, unfortunately.

Nonetheless.

Nope.

Norton Construction just sent this over.

Nose to the grindstone. No means yes.

Not Batgirl. Batman.

Not good enough.

Not my kids, 'cause they're grown up,

Not really. No.

Nothing better than good old fashioned door to door campaigning.

Nothing is off limits. You have to answer.

Nothing Rhymes with Orange,

Now answer the question!

Now when the reporter gets here,it is vital

Now, how many sexual partners have you had in the last year?

Now, I have a few things I want to say about Laura Linney.

Now, the words "too sexy" aren't really in my vocabulary,

Now, there are many people that I spoke to

Now, what do you want me to do with this?

Now, you know that we're gonna be building a park on a residential lot,

Number one, you've never been in a relationship that's lasted longer than a week.

Number two: What?

Of course.

Of course. Of course.

Of Nathaniel Bixby Mark.

Official Parks and Rec business.

Oh, Ann, don't look.

Oh, boo. Brendanawicz, that's some weak sauce. You need to hit harder!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Honey, can you just clean up a little bit?

Oh, hey, Ann. You're here.

Oh, hey, baby, if you're going to the kitchen,

Oh, hey! Hey! You like it?

Oh, how old are your kids?

Oh, I already know, the one on the left where the American flag is.

Oh, I see a question. Okay. No, no.

Oh, I wanna go to that concert so bad,

Oh, I was chasing our neighbor who's a total jagweed

Oh, I'm Pawnee Zoning Board Member Janine Restrepo.

Oh, it didn't answer your call?

Oh, it's next month, forget about it.

Oh, it's tomorrow night. I'll be there.

Oh, let's see. You wrote a speech?

Oh, man, I am way overdressed.

Oh, my God, his favorite movie is Dances With Wolves.

Oh, my God, really? Well, I'm Marlene Griggs Knope

Oh, my God, you do that, too?

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Mark, are you all right?

Oh, my God! Okay, they have planted people in this audience.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Ann! Game changer.

Oh, my God. How did we let this happen?

Oh, my God. It's real.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. That's great!

Oh, my God. What am I looking at?

Oh, my God. You know what?

Oh, my wife got me this shirt.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. That's okay.

Oh, politics! Yes! My mom is crazy good at this.

Oh, right, Leslie's new friend.

Oh, sorry. I got it.

Oh, this meeting needs to be canceled.

Oh, we are in rarified air tonight, Ann. Rarified air!

Oh, what a night! Please.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

Oh, yeah. I am.

Oh, yeah. I made a bump into a smaller bump. It's a great day for America.

Oh, yeah. Mark. Mark's a friend.

Oh, yeah. This is our crown jewel.

Oh, yeah. Yay.

Oh, you guys. You know how I love mixing work into my personal life.

Oh,and right here. At the end. She writes,and I quote,

Oh,ann. You're so sweet and innocent and pretty.

Oh,come on. Lateral? Communal? Zonal?

Oh,god. Leslie,the animals know you don't eat the country honeysuckle.

Oh,it's the best thing on the menu.

Oh,like you're perfect. You're on the pill. You drink all the time.

Oh,man,that dude has stuck it in some crazy chicks.

Oh,my ears are ringing.

Oh,no. I don't count that.

Oh,really? Tell that to a 14 year old girl.

Oh,that's bitter. Leslie,you don't eat it.

Oh,that's great. Thank you so much. You're welcome.

Oh,yeah. My editor loves it.

Oh,yeah. That's actually a great story.

Oh!

Oh! This is a classic.

Oh! This is a great shot.

Oh! Todd graduated in 2005, so you probably missed him.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Actually, no. I'm not really a fan of parks.

Oh. April, that's good.

Oh. Come on, enough business. Let's have some fun!

Oh. Good. I actually live in the neighborhood

Oh. Hi, Leslie.

Oh. Honey, jeez. You know how busy I am.

Oh. I'm so sorry that I missed your songs.

Oh. Just go back in there and finish the dinner.

Oh. Man, my clavicle's still really hurting me.

Oh. Oh. God, no. I'm not hitting on you. I'm actually married.

Oh. Okay. Good, 'cause, for a second there,

Oh. Sorry. Senior moment.

Oh. Thanks, I'm okay.

Oh. Thanks, Nate. For what?

Oh. That's weird. I just remembered something.

Oh. This is really thorough.

Oh. Wow.

Oh. Yeah, I forgot to do that.

Oh. Yeah. That'd be a great idea.

Oh. Yes, we understand that people are busy,

Okay now,see,here's a good example of a plant that you can't eat.

Okay, all right. Cool it! Okay.

Okay, all right. You know what? This is a public forum,

Okay, brainstorm. How do we make this park happen?

Okay, here we go. Who wants it?

Okay, I didn't want to have to use this,

Okay, I have an idea. What about bringing Mark on board?

Okay, I've lost my momentum now.

Okay, let's go.

Okay, let's go. Let's go.

Okay, meatball and ham. Wait, is that two different subs? Really?

Okay, okay. Look, I didn't want it to have to come to this,

Okay, read it back to me.

Okay, squeeze my fingers. Good.

Okay, the two things you have going for you

Okay, this pit. Give it to me straight.

Okay, wait. Just hold on a second.

Okay, wake up. Here we go. Out of the slide.

Okay, we will take a vote.

Okay, we're good.

Okay, well, apparently Restrepo was trying to blow us off,

Okay, well, call my secretary,

Okay, well, I think it would be a good idea

Okay, you know what? I'm taking this.

Okay,great. That's good. Because these are the real heroes.

Okay,now should I give her a tour of the building? How many discussion questions do you have there?

Okay,now you'll have to throw that away.

Okay,well since we're,you know,romantically involved,I won't print any of it.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Double shift, remember? So I won't see you till tomorrow.

Okay. Great. I'll be there.

Okay. Great. See you then.

Okay. Here we go.

Okay. I just sent an e mail to everyone in the government,

Okay. I'll do it when I get home.

Okay. Keep going, keep moving.

Okay. Ooh, someone's in there.

Okay. Since you brought it up, I'm just gonna say it.

Okay. So, everybody's here. Let's get started.

Okay. So, I start off with, "I am Leslie Knope.

Okay. Thank you.

Okay. Which part are you not sure about?

On Halloween, she was dressed up as Batman.

One beer bottle is not gonna make any difference.

One penis in particular.

One time I convinced her to try to fax someone a Fruit Roll Up.

One time, I forgot my keys to one of the houses.

One, we're building a new park,

Only for one to 90 days.

Only works when people get involved? Well, I'm getting involved.

Ooh! Are pancakes being made?

Ooh! Mixing it up with the boys! So...

Ooh. Hey, Tom. Check it out.

Or are you gonna be a bitch?

Or Don't Forget To Bring Home Beers After Work.

Or else the whole thing could be chaos.

Or is he half Ron, half animal, like a centaur?

Or Richard Nixon when he went to China

Or we could drink some water.

Or Where's My Sandwich?

Our city planner assigned to this project.

Out of state?

Ow!

Ow. Help. Please, Ron. Ron.

Park? Giving the park to me?

Park's gonna get done.

Password was saved. She played a couple of scrabble words. It wasn't me.

Pawnee is lousy with hippies...

Penis Pendulum, Hand Rail Suicide,

People are talking. I mean, at least they aren't apathetic, right?

People look at me and they say, "Wow, Tom.

People need our help.

People who come in here to ask me for things

Pick me up or I'm gonna draw all over your jeans.

Pin it up, something sassy, but powerful and dynastic.

Pit! I fell in it, the pit

Pit! I fell in it, the pit

Pit! I fell in it, the pit

Play it again for us, Jerry.

Please be patient while we rock out the equipment setup.

Please don't blame her for my mistake.

Please don't make this worse.

Please fix it.

Please save your applause until the end.

Please tell me

Please tell me why

Please, tell me about this park that you badly need rezoned by me.

Political dynasty, you and I, you know?

Politics is full of boys' clubs, formal and informal.

Pool, tennis courts, volleyball courts, racquetball courts,

Postpone?

Pretty good.

Pretty much every guy in city planning has a bunch of letters.

Probably.

Problem is, anything over $25 I have to report,

Properly applied, that's how long a good varnish should last.

Pssh,come on,ron.

Punch Face Champions, Rad Wagon,

Puppy Pendulum, Possum Pendulum,

Put down my boom box.

Put your head between your knees

Putting on a nice dress to go to "the couch."

Quick tour? Okay.

Quiet, everyone! Ann wants to say something.

Read that part back to me

Really different from your Friday night crowd, right?

Really? Are you sure?

Really? It sounds like you're telling me to go for it.

Really? Oh, really? Really?

Really? We meet at a bunch of different places. We don't always meet here.

Really? Yeah.

Really. Leslie Knope. Usually such a prudish stickler for the rules.

Recently, I led a city wide drive

Recorded earlier this year from his hospital bed,

Remember that? Yeah.

Right before he's killed by a cannonball.

Right now, drinking wine is winning...

Right, and I would love to speak to you

Right, sorry. Choosing in.

Right. And then I came back to bed.

Right. But...

Right. Sorry. Sure we can.

Ron swanson Tom

Ron, I don't know how to explain this to you.

Ron, I have a very important and very long story to tell you.

Ron, I just wanted to say thank you, so...

Ron, it's okay.

Ron, please.

Ron, tell me it's gonna be okay.

Ron, thank you for being here with me today.

Ron, you got a minute?

Ron,I don't know what to tell you,man.

Ron? Where are you?

Rule number one: Stay on message.

Salvatore calls this hairdo "The Mayor."

Salvatore Manfrelotti has been cutting hair

Salvatore usually does men.

Sandwich! Are you turkey or ham?

Scrap the whole thing.

Screw it. I'm gonna try to do it anyway.

Seated behind us is Janine Restrepo.

Secretary.

See all the spikes?

See what April put on the pit's web page.

See?

Seriously, it's pretty bad!

Seriously?

Shauna is in the conference room,

Shauna malwae tweep and mark brendanawicz had sex with each other last night.

Shauna malwae tweep.

Shauna. Malwae tweep. Yes,I am familiar with your work.

She and mark had sex with each other.

She got here 15 minutes late.

She has worked in the government for three decades. Thirty years.

She is an angel. And I seriously love her.

She makes a ton of money!

She one time made out with the water delivery guy in her office.

She said I should call her and we can set something up next month.

She said it more than that?

She swears it makes me look thinner.

She takes care of me, she takes care of sick people, sick babies.

She used to read him books at the senior center.

She writes for the pawnee journal,which is kind of like our town's washington post.

She's 19 years old.

She's a big mucky muck in the county school system.

She's a little weasel.

She's also my mother. And together, we are the Knopes.

She's as powerful as Stalin,

She's as respected as Mother Teresa.

She's going to be documenting our fact finding mission.

She's going to be gone for the next 24 hours so I made this list

She's gone.

She's insatiable.

She's like a little dog with a chew toy.

She's my hero. How do I explain her?

She's right behind us and she could rezone our park.

She's trying to cover up for the fact that she has a husband who likes to

She's wearing the same dress she wore yesterday.

Shoot! I have a tough assignment, and I need his help with it.

Should I call a press conference now, or...

Shouldn't bring up my divorce on a first date.

Since we last spoke, I have taken extraordinary steps

Sir, this is a children's slide.

Smart woman. Iffy choice in men.

Smooth like milk chocolate. That's a weird way to describe me.

So andy,tell me about the night you fell into the pit.

So far to the left! So far to the left!

So he gave you a ride somehow? Yeah.

So how big is this lot?

So how'd it go? She didn't ask about andy being drunk,did she? Uh,no.

So I am gonna make a vow now

So I could probably tell you a little bit about...

So I didn't quite know How to answer that.

So I got this idea from my parents.

So I have a piece of good news.

So I put together some discussion topics. Can I run them by you?

So I shall bid you adieu.

So if you have a flier or something, I'd be happy to take it.

So leslie,you're in charge of the committee.

So listen,I was hoping maybe I could pick your brain about how to deal with the media.

So look,I feel like I may have gone a little off message at the pit.

So make sure that you butter her up.

So maybe give my wife a call and give her the suits,

So my mom has a plan.

So often we have to cover up the more gruesome parts with a poster.

So she can try to build a park.

So there's just this giant pit,

So this was built in 1935. It's called Pioneer Hall.

So two things. One,it's poisonous. And two,it would hurt.

So what I hear when I'm being yelled at

So when did you start at the parks department?

So you're calling Dr. Harris a liar?

So you're gonna blackmail her?

So, after all that, it's really not that bad.

So, Andy jumped over this fence.

So, Andy's doing well?

So, Ann. I asked April to create one of those

So, are you guys ready for the debut?

So, can I have the basket?

So, did you give any more thought to

So, I am not leaving this bar.

So, I brought some pictures of the lot,

So, I decided I wanted to do something about it,

So, I need your advice. I'm seated near Janine Restrepo.

So, I would love to come to this thing. When is it?

So, I'm gonna head out. Peace.

So, I'm just gonna get back to my dessert.

So, if I don't support your little project,

So, in a way, I am also being honored.

So, is this, like, your regular Tuesday night scene?

So, Marlene,

So, maybe you start off with something like that.

So, Miss Knope, you're accused of stealing wine.

So, of course we're gonna have to get the zoning codes approved

So, rock.

So, take two.

So, thanks.

So, that's kind of your worst case scenario, you know?

So, the disciplinary committee awaits.

So, the girls will be like, "Hey, what's with that hat?"

So, we've been called out to this hiking trail

So, welcome to the team.

So, what are you guys talking about? What's the topic du jour?

So, what do you want to see? The DMV? Animal control?

So, what do you want, Leslie?

So, what should my next tactic be?

So, what's the inside scoop, Salvatore?

So, yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

So, you are hitting on me.

So, your boyfriend fell down into this pit, right?

So,uh,can I give you a quick tour before we get started? I've been here before. A few times.

So...I was hoping we could have a do over interview.

Social network Internet profiles for the Sullivan Street pit.

Some people may say that bringing in these contractors this early

Somebody is getting gently laid tonight.

Someone on the phone about the park.

Something's come to my attention that requires your attention.

Sometimes you have to bring the pain.

Sorry about that, little girl, you can have the next one.

Sorry, is a great man.

Sorry, Leslie. We're gonna go. I'll call you tomorrow.

Sorry, what club is this?

Sorry.

Sorry. Good luck, though. I'm all for a park.

Sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. Metal. Sorry. That's really loud.

Soul sista, soul sista Gonna get your phone, sista

Sounded better when I said it.

Stacy, Becky tells me that you two are both real estate agents.

Stay on message again? Yes,it's that important.

Stay on what,ann?

Still mulling.

Stop it. No, they're not.

Stop the graffiti, please. Please.

Subcommittee members. Are we prepared for tomorrow night?

Sure, yeah. I could use a beer.

Sure! I haven't been to a rock show in a long time.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure. Hey,mark. Hey.

Survey. We surveyed crystal meth users.

Sweetheart, they only give lifetime achievement awards

Take a walk with your overly healed legs,

Talking about government issues.

Tammy Baldwin, Democrat, Wisconsin. I'm so sorry, Tammy.

Technically, yes. But...

Technically. Technically?

Terrific.

Thank you for your time, Miss Knope. You're fired.

Thank you for your time, sir.

Thank you so much for bringing that up in front of a reporter.

Thank you so much for coming down.

Thank you so much for coming out tonight.

Thank you so much for coming. What an amazing turnout.

Thank you so much, Barry. Always great to have you here.

Thank you very much, everybody! We are Scarecrow Boat!

Thank you very much! Good night!

Thank you,

Thank you, guys.

Thank you, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am.

Thank you, Ron.

Thank you, Tony, for those inspiring twitches and blinks.

Thank you,ann. It is a classic strategy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. I'm so excited. It's exciting, isn't it?

Thank you. Okay.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thanks,a lot. Thank you a lot.

Thank you. This is a symbol of new beginnings,

Thank.

Thanks for coming down. I got a seat taped off for you over there.

Thanks. I was happy with that line.

That Al Roker announces their birthdays.

That care about where they live,

That concludes our meeting.

That depends. Would you call being her daughter related?

That doesn't sound tough to me, that sounds slimy.

That guy is the best.

That guy Mark just fell in the pit!

That he'd explain later, but then he never explained.

That I one day visit with my White House staff on my birthday.

That I was thinking about turning it into a park?

That I will do whatever it takes to get this pit filled in.

That I work in the government, they say,

That is Andy Dwyer.

That is horrifying.

That is hot.

That is tonight. Right.

That it would be a good idea

That just ran out of steam.

That kid came to my door yesterday.

That kind of makes me stand out, like a peacock.

That man is staring.

That must be fun.

That park is never,ever,ever gonna get made.

That parks lady is coming over,

That part's good. I think we stayed on message for that part.

That seems iffy.

That some teenagers are digging bags of dog poop out of the trash

That sounds really good.

That time we were also at a bar. And he was also pretty drunk.

That was a smear job.

That was brutal.

That was easy. Okay.

That was the sound of a glass ceiling being shattered.

That way it's verbatim

That we all follow my rules about how to deal with the media.

That we are not allowed to accept gifts over $25,

That we will do everything we can to help you.

That what you two are doing is so brave.

That woman is tough.

That you have about Ron, is he like a regular Ron,

That's a lot of potpourri.

That's disgusting! What are you doing?

That's enough. That's enough. Look, I was not trying to ask you out, I promise.

That's former City Councilman Frank Schnable.

That's good, right? Secretary makes her schedule.

That's great, honey. She's blowing us off.

That's his disappointing son, Theo.

That's it. That's all. That's all we've got.

That's kind of the whole thing.

That's my number one favorite food wrapped around my number three favorite food.

That's not my department.

That's really good. Write that down.

That's right. The head of the police is a ninth degree Mason.

That's terrific.

That's the best one.

That's the cue. See you later, Leslie.

That's what I want to know. That's what's important to me.

That's when they were scheduled to come off.

That's why everybody calls her "The Iron of Pawnee."

That's why I go two towns over

The award's named after the legendary Tony Tellenson, who was a great man.

The band has had a few different names over the years.

The biggest crime we could commit here

The bottom line is I've been trying to get this thing fixed for months,

The boys' club is more about socializing than work, you know?

The chance to build a whole new park from scratch,

The City of Pawnee was incorporated in 1817,

The disciplinary committee is having a hearing tomorrow,

The DUI, Leslie. Let her know you know all about it,

The fact that I haven't even gotten close to cheating on her

The future of Pawnee will involve us flying around in space taxis,

The girls with the tribal back tattoos

The key to any fact finding mission

The last rock show I went to was the Everly Brothers.

The lot. I don't know. You tell me. How big is the lot?

The man heard 'round the world.

The man is chosen based on some kind of IQ test,

The minimum punishment for this

The muscles wouldn't have atrophied so much.

The only reason anybody's going to this thing

The park is never,ever,ever,ever getting built?

The parks department has so many programs.

The people who eat here basically run this town.

The people who win awards aren't always the best people.

The point is, my mom is alive and I love her. She's one tough cookie.

The press are like sharks,and you guys just dumped a bucket of chum in the water.

The press is a weapon,and you can use it to kill people or to feed people.

The queen of the zoning board?

The rest of your team some questions and then we will come back to you later?

The Sullivan Street Park project. You fast tracked it, right?

The Tellensons is like the Oscars times the Grammys plus the Super Bowl.

The tucker parker graffiti removal project was a great idea

The various hoops that you're gonna have to jump through,

Then Everything Rhymes with Orange,

Then I don't love my daughter?

Then last week, I ran into her sister Beth here.

Then you get double dirty.

Then you have to drive all the way back,

There are a lot of people here that want this park.

There are so many luminaries here tonight.

There are some countries where the pope can be married.

There are three murals here in the hall. And this is called the trial of chief wamapo.

There is a sea of red tape, endless roadblocks.

There it is. Let's clear the air.

There used to be this huge speed bump in the center of town.

There was just no spark.

There was one annoying thing.

There's a beautiful view from over there.

There's a lot nearby my house,

There's a million ways to exploit your power.

There's a new wind blowing in government and I don't like it.

There's actually a lot of similarities between those two nights.

There's no way it can happen.

There's not gonna be a later, Mark.

There's only one more thing I need to clean, me.

These people are members of a community

They can't touch you if you talk forever.

They cut his face off.

They don't give lifetime achievement awards

They have an impeccable business model.

They might call for a vote, and if they vote you down, then you're done.

They used every part of the pioneer.

They're about to kick in so I'm ready to go.

They're my favorite rock group.

They're so good.

They're the real heroes of this story.

Think about what you've done.

This bench is so uncomfortable.

This committee doesn't take time outs, Miss Knope.

This could be my Hoover Dam.

This first song is called Menace Ball.

This guy is important,

This is a deposition style hearing, Miss Knope.

This is a great place to take a shot. Over there as well,so.

This is a great thing for you guys to see.

This is a little something I learned from Karl Rove.

This is America.

This is Ann Perkins.

This is Beth, my ex wife Tammy's better looking sister.

This is Derek.

This is gonna be a train wreck.

This is gonna be fun. Are you excited? Excited, yeah.

This is gonna be the script that we use when we speak with people.

This is how they clean their dog.

This is huge.

This is jj's diner,the unofficial meeting place of pawnee's political elite.

This is key. All we need to talk about is the pit,

This is my basketball court.

This is my evening. I'm Leslie's trophy wife.

This is my oldest son.

This is my wife, Wendy. She's my age.

This is our first town meeting about the proposal

This is ridiculous. You're punishing yourself

This is ron swanson,our boss. Ron,this is the reporter I was telling you about. No comment.

This is so cool.

This is very exciting. This is a big night.

This is very exciting. We are at Saint Joseph's Medical Center

This is where the rubber of government

This isn't the way I want this to happen again.

This must be our hero.

This next song is dedicated to her,

This sawed off shotgun belonged to a local bootlegger.

This will be fine, right?

This wooded area is the site of, um, the murder, actually,

Those are eight of the nastiest, most diabolical people

Those aren't really my friends anymore.

Those zoning code questions I asked you?

Three, you're putting in the sod.

Through a little something I like to call The Phantom Tollbooth,

To change hearts and minds if the cause is just.

To come up during dinner.

To disinfect the sandbox sand

To have a multi use community park. Oh. Do you?

To make further amends for the mistakes that I have made.

To people who do things like that.

To people who do things like that.

To see what the Chinese were up to. No!

To start with, and now both legs broken.

To the max.

To the point that it's annoying.

To this day,I am haunted by those remaining penises.

To turn Lot 48 on Sullivan Street into a community park.

To turn the abandoned lot on Sullivan Street

Today is a great day for the Knope family.

Together forever

Tom and I work really well together. We're both outsiders.

Tom Haverford.

Tom haverford. Boy genius.

Tom hides the eggs, and I have to say he did an exceptional job this year.

Tom is exactly what I'm looking for in a government employee.

Tom, I'm gonna get out of here.

Tom, you probably won't need any.

Tom!

Tom.

Tomorrow? I can't. I'm busy. Sorry.

Tonight at 8:00.

Tonight is our next monthly

Trip Holloway named names in the '50s.

Try some of my chicken.

Trying to follow every single rule in government.

Turning the pit into a park.

Turns out she hates Tammy, too, so we've started dating.

Twelve months, yes. Go on.

Two wrongs do not make a right.

Two, I'm on the committee,

Two, three, four...

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh oh.

Uh, I do play rock and roll.

Uh, I'm a youth in the community and I think a new park is a great idea.

Uh, it's 9:30, on a Friday night in Pawnee.

Uh, no. This is my first official political haircut.

Uh, sure, Paul. What can I do for you?

Uh, well, this thing's kind of wrapping up.

Uh, yeah, 'cause parties usually get started when you run out of booze.

Uh, yeah. I don't care about any of that.

Uh,30.

Uh,sure. Great. Come on in.

Uh,that's personal.

Uh,yeah. V o g x ugh!

Uh,you and I need to find a way to fix this reporter thing.

Uh. Then we were God Hates Figs,

Uh. Well, you know, documentaries, political thrillers.

Uh...

Uh...

Uh... And this is our canvassing guide.

Uh... In just a minute, Scarecrow Boat is gonna rock it out.

Uh... So what would he say?

Uh... That girl over there with the long brown hair and the yellow top.

Uh... What's with the hat?

Uh... Yeah, I'm not gonna go deal with this. I'm leaving.

Uh...I heard that you were gonna print some of that stuff that I said in private about the park.

Um, all right, let's start from the top.

Um, I can't really get into a shower,

Um, I should probably change.

Um, there's a mutual respect there.

Um, we'll just move on. We can fix that later. Long shadow, go.

Um,I just finished up a gig with my band three skin,

Um,this park is never,ever,ever,ever going to happen.

Um,we can do all this on tape.

Um...

Um...

Um... We are having a public forum tomorrow night.

Unbelievable!

Unbelievable! That's unbelievable!

Usually.

Very noisy, barbecue smell all the time.

Victor Miles. Tom Haverford. How are you?

Vroom vroom vroom vroom and glug glug glug glug glug.

Wait You were drunk? Oh,yeah. Totally.

Wait, and if the questions start getting negative, I'm gonna call on you.

Wait. Did I ever get it?

Wait. Oscar Pfortmiller is dead.

Wait...

Was that right? No.

We all fell in it, the pit

We all fell in it, the pit

We all fell in that pit

We are a little ahead of schedule,

We are gonna meet some powerful people tonight, so take this down.

We are here to answer any and all of your questions, so fire away.

We change the band name, and then we send the demo out.

We could do some of those things.

We could put an amphitheatre over there with Shakespeare in the Park.

We did it!

We did it. Ron's approved our committee.

We had removed five cartoon penises not even 10%

We have a lot of children visit,

We have even sectors, you guys have odd sectors. And we're gonna win.

We have to push this thing through.

We live in a fish bowl

We need Andy. He's our symbol.

We need to rezone the pit to turn it into a park

We should just take a vote. Right? Yeah.

We slept together.

We started, we were Teddy Bear Suicide,

We were just on the computer,

We weren't planning on doing either of those things.

We will build this park!

We'll keep checking in on this.

We'll see.

We'll wheel him around the neighborhood to get sympathy.

We're actually having a little town meeting tomorrow night

We're cool.

We're doing great work in the government. We deserve to be included.

We're done, let's go.

We're getting drinks to go. Come on. Beers to go!

We're gonna be at Scully's if you two can tear yourselves away.

We're gonna twist her arm a little bit.

We're having a meeting in here.

We're in. Hey, I'm Brian.

We're just friends.

We're out of time. It's 9:00.

We're Scarecrow Boat.

We're trying to turn a dangerous eyesore into a beautiful community park

We've been over this.

Welcome back into the world of walking, Andy.

Welcome back,subcommittee member mark brendanawicz.

Well apparently,the reporter is gonna print everything you said to her.

Well I'm writing an op ed piece about media ethics for the pawnee journal,so yeah,I'm a little busy.

Well then I resign from your subcommittee.

Well, 'cause I don't think I can find a store that's open that sells slippers.

Well, 'cause I would feel a little silly

Well, again, I don't really like to define it.

Well, at least my boss will listen to me now that I broke my clavicle.

Well, everyone has their problems.

Well, guess what? Here's the gun, here's me.

Well, I guess that explains it.

Well, I have.

Well, I will definitely think about it.

Well, I'm a public servant. I need to be accessible.

Well, I'm glad we avoided that.

Well, I've worked at the Parks Department for six years,

Well, if you want something done in this town,

Well, if you want to go to the rock show, I don't mind.

Well, it's a great day, because last month they put me in jail.

Well, it's just a way to unwind, you know. Mmm hmm.

Well, it's official, people. We're out of beer.

Well, look, I think this is a great idea, but I can't make any forum.

Well, my mom is being honored tonight.

Well, my schedule is my schedule.

Well, neither is he. And he's 62 years old.

Well, not really.

Well, one of the funner things that we do here in Pawnee

Well, thank you for clearing your schedule.

Well, then just go up there and say hello and start talking to her.

Well, we don't know yet.

Well, when I think about the logistics,

Well, you did already talk, ma'am.

Well, you guys gotta see Mark's profile.

Well, you know, you have to have zoning codes,

Well,I appreciate you trying.

Well,I can't allow that kind of behavior from someone serving on my subcommittee.

Well,I should go talk to him.

Well,shauna,this is our crack team. Hi,everyone.

Well,the article came out,and it was a mixed bag.

Well,there we go then. So let's show 'em what other plants we could eat,jerry

Well,uh,it was a few years ago.

Well,until it turns into a park.

Well,you know,

What a great way to spend my time.

What about that thing you did for the middle school newspaper last year?

What about the vote?

What are they doing out there?

What are you doing in my yard, Lawrence? Get out of here.

What are you doing? Kicking ron's butt at scrabble.

What are you gonna say? What's your comeback?

What are you talking about? That thing was a pain in the butt.

What are you talking about? You look great. We look great.

What do you think her opening gambit is gonna be? What is she gonna ask me first?

What do you think?

What do you want?

What does this... Just become more adventurous

What happened to you?

What is up?

What it means is I want this subcommittee.

What kind of movies do you like?

What kind of movies do you like?

What kind of music does your band play?

What more could you guys possibly want her to do?

What the hell are you guys doing?

What the hell else would you call it?

What the hell is wrong with people?

What time is it? I should go.

What time is this thing, anyway?

What wall to put your own Tellenson Award on.

What was the first thing you did when you arrived at work the next day?

What would you put in there?

What would you say if I told you

What year did you graduate?

What, do you really like red tape and uphill battles?

What?

What?

What? Are you crazy?

What? Becky and Stacy are both really into you,

What? How would you even know that?

What? I'm just former City Councilman Frank Whatever The Hell.

What? Mark, don't. This pit isn't a dump.

What? No! Really?

What? No...

What? That is not conduct worthy of the zoning board.

What? Why did you do this?

What? Why?

What's going on out here?

What's not to love about this park, right here, now?

What's the first sentence again?

What's up, Brendanawicz? You crazy old Polish person.

Whatever.

Wheeling and dealing.

When a young man by the name of Reverend Luther Howell

When Andy fell in the pit,

When he desires them.

When I am the first female mayor of Pawnee.

When I go through these doors, I need to be on.

When I visited the bottom of the pit on a fact finding mission.

When I was in sixth grade, I was voted Best Dressed by 87 votes.

When we were shut down due to lack of funding.

When you fell in.

When you guys are showing people houses?

When you spill something and you try to wipe it up

When you work closely with someone and you share similar interests

When you're in government,

When you've been down in the pit... Have you been in the pit?

Where are we going? All the bars are closed.

Where do you think you're going?

Where is Mark, anyway?

Where we will communicate on watches,

Which I was warned about by Mark Brendanawicz,

Which I will be e mailing to everyone in the entire Pawnee government.

Which is pretty awesome.

Which is really impressive.

Which is why I always tell her,

Which means that we all get to tell you what we think.

Who are passionately in support of this idea.

Who do you think's got me beat? That guy that teaches city planning? Tommy boy.

Who drink Red Bull for a living.

Who had sex? That guy mark and the reporter.

Who left the door open? No! No! No!

Who sits in a small room at a desk,

Who wants in?

Who, when seeing the whiteness of his skin, twisted him to death.

Whoa, mama!

Whoa!

Whoa! Hey! What the hell?

Whoa! Leslie Knope! I'm so glad you made it. You have to meet my band.

Whoo, missed it!

Why can't I look away?

Why did you let me eat that? I never told you to eat that.

Why do I want to build this park so bad?

Why do men have to behave like this? Why can't they be professionals?

Why is this a big deal to anybody?

Why should I?

Why would you think this was fun?

Why would you want a toaster that's lying at the bottom of the pit?

Why would you write an article about that? That's This one is just no.

Why? I don't know. There's like a million reasons why.

With a member of the press corps.

With all the people that want you to fail.

With Marlene Griggs Knope, I would've guessed we were getting married.

With something that's dirty,

Without a single environmental impact study,

Women are everywhere. It's a great time to be a woman in politics.

Would be to destroy a teenage girl's passion for local government.

Would I like to win a Tellenson Award like my mom did? Sure.

Would it change your mind if we told you that...

Would you change your mind if I told you that

Would you like to be reinstated onto our subcommittee?

Would you say that you are,

Wouldn't you agree, like most decent Americans,

Wow, it's like a sweaty piÒata.

Wow, man. This is great. This is so great. I love canvassing.

Wow!

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow. How old is he?

Wow. Okay.

Yay!

Yeah, a park, huh? That sounds like a really good idea.

Yeah, absolutely. We have a public forum tomorrow.

Yeah, and he's got three crutches. And one of them is you!

Yeah, and my boyfriend, who is a musician, actually, I support him,

Yeah, don't worry about it, I made it all up.

Yeah, friend. She's... We're friends. Just friends.

Yeah, he's a little shaky still, but that's to be expected.

Yeah, I came from the hospital. How'd it go?

Yeah, I do.

Yeah, I got that.

Yeah, I have birds. I have nice, pretty, expensive birds,

Yeah, I heard it.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I probably shouldn't have said that.

Yeah, I'm hot, too.

Yeah, I'm leading it. It's no biggie.

Yeah, it's so much fun.

Yeah, let's do that.

Yeah, Lot 48.

Yeah, maybe fake boobs run in his family.

Yeah, she's here with her dad.

Yeah, so... It was pretty close!

Yeah, that could work. Yeah, 'cause committees are power,

Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah, thanks, Tom.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

Yeah, they might be a little weak at first.

Yeah, they should change their name to Big, Lying Baby.

Yeah, we did, like, five years ago. I sort of...

Yeah,but the important part of what I said was stay in bed.

Yeah,I guess I'm free. I'm assuming not mexican.

Yeah,I'm home. I was doing an interview at the pit,and it was going really well.

Yeah,take a look at that.

Yeah,we get letters every day.

Yeah,well it wasn't a mexican burrito.

Yeah,what's up?

Yeah,you seemed a little weird. Well,I wouldn't say weird. It's just,

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Andy came, too, to give his support.

Yeah. Can I come in?

Yeah. Good.

Yeah. Hey

Yeah. I'm sure you've heard something about it. People are talking about it.

Yeah. I've done that. That's the worst.

Yeah. It's a great place for a business meeting.

Yeah. Perfect. Great. I'll have a photographer meet us there.

Yeah. Sure.

Yeah. Sweet Lady Marmalard

Yeah. Why did you open that basket?

Yep, we were just rapping about some things.

Yep.

Yep.

Yes, Ann! That's good, think like a man.

Yes, but she was in the hospital.

Yes, can we cut that red ribbon around your monitor now?

Yes, I am, 'cause I'm talking to Marcy.

Yes, I did. And I would do it again.

Yes, I'm married.

Yes, it is.

Yes, it is. Look around, Leslie.

Yes, of course. I awoke at 6:21 a.m.

Yes, we... I will help you.

Yes, you do owe me.

Yes,but...I'm not gonna do it again.

Yes,hi. Hi.

Yes,I agree.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. He's my date. George Gernway.

Yes. It's 22 minutes long, with the song.

Yes. My friend Andy is playing in a band tonight, and I kind of wanted to go.

Yes. Okay, let's take a five minute break, shall we?

Yes. That is really hot.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

You already asked me that.

You and me forever

You and me together

You and me together forever

You are gonna be super annoyed

You call Mark Brendanawicz

You can have the wine. I want to take that cheese and do terrible things to it.

You can't let yourself get taken advantage of.

You cannot make her wear a hair shirt.

You cannot make her whip herself.

You could ever want to meet.

You design the question to give you the answer that you want.

You did an amazing in depth article on the raccoon problem here in pawnee.

You did not ask me nicely! Put that down!

You did say it,right?

You didn't really believe it when you said that the park was never gonna get made,right?

You do choose to spend the week with...

You don't care about your kids if you don't support this park!

You don't have to have sex with him if you don't want to.

You dropped a z in there? April.

You fell in it, the pit

You fell in it, the pit

You fell in it, the pit

You fixed a problem. That's what we're supposed to do.

You got it.

You got it.

You got Ring Around The Diaper you could play there.

You got that speed bump thing taken care of. Finally. Nice work.

You got up because you had to write the article and I said,come on,stay in bed.

You gotta come check this out.

You gotta go check it out. You're a nurse.

You gotta leave the locker room.

You guys are together?

You have birds, now?

You have two perfectly good legs. Get it yourself.

You just busted the game wide open.

You just do everything your boyfriend tells you to do?

You just do everything your mom tells you to do?

You just gotta get past the negative people. But guess what?

You just never know when opportunity is gonna strike.

You keep that up and you're gonna be figuring out

You knew that. I didn't know that,no. You should've told me,

You know as well as I do

You know this lot that I'm talking about, right?

You know we'd really appreciate it if you didn't print that stuff

You know what I mean? And just kind of infiltrate the boys' club.

You know what I need to do? Form a committee. Right?

You know what we should do? Let's go out there.

You know what? America is awesome.

You know what? That guy was too young for you.

You know what? We all agree that this park is a bad idea.

You know, government isn't just a boys' club anymore.

You know, I don't need to be here.

You know, I don't think I even want it.

You know, I like to tell people, you know,

You know, if you don't wanna talk to me, you can just say so.

You know, in Russia, they could pretend that pit was a park,

You know, just, this guy, sounds like he didn't have a lot going on for him

You know, maybe a pool for the kids?

You know, maybe go away one weekend and just kind of talk about this.

You know, nobody's gonna see it.

You know, normally, I don't agree with Leslie about anything,

You know, there was definitely some truth

You know, when I first tell people

You know, you have a friend who has a tattoo that says,

You know, you... Then you can't take it.

You know,do you have a pen?

You know,going forward. Oh,my god.

You know,I would've said anything at that point if I thought it would make you stay in bed.

You know,the beginning of projects are very vulnerable

You know? He's handsome, I'm a cutie pie.

You know... I don't really like to define it

You know... I wouldn't say romantically involved.

You like? I went to Salvatore.

You look like you need one of these.

You missed the entire pit, which is huge, by the way.

You need to put a happy face on this,

You owe me one, remember?

You probably already said it, "political dynasty."

You probably feel like you need to move on.

You remember Tom from last night.

You say that you've moved on...

You seem a lot more confident than some of the other people I've spoken to.

You should be dating guys in their early hundreds.

You should write an article about leprechauns. Leprechauns exist.

You should write an article about the sun falling out of the sky.

You should write an article on talking monkeys. Really? Have you seen the wizard of oz?

You should write an article on the pope getting married,because that's more likely to happen than this park.

You suck.

You think I can get my beer bottle in that shopping cart right there?

You think we should cover this up?

You two are just like everyone else.

You want to come?

You want to live in North Korea, you can live in North Korea.

You were talking to the mayor?

You would like that, wouldn't you?

You'd have several of those awards.

You'd hit on chicks? For real?

You're a white Protestant man with a full, rich mustache.

You're allowed to do that. Stay on message.

You're gonna get a letter in your file.

You're gonna have to go through me.

You're gonna tell everybody in town.

You're here because you allegedly accepted a gift of over $25

You're insane. You're insane.

You're kidding. I wish I was,but I'm not. They did it.

You're not getting any younger.

You're not supposed to be drinking on government property.

You're over thinking this.

You're right about that. They're deeply negative.

You're the Deputy Director of Parks and blah blah...

You're the king. You're my hero.

You're the word king. She was probably cheating.

You're welcome.

You're worse than my ex wife,and she's terrible at scrabble.

You're... Can you please go away? Here we go!

You've got Duck, Duck, Glass you could play right there.

Your boobs are dead.

Your mother mentioned that you don't date much.

Yup. My ex wife Tammy cheated on me. Then we divorced.

Zero to six.

Zero to six. Zero.

Zero.

Zoning board member Janine Restrepo,

100 or something. Give or take 100. I don't know.

100 what? I don't know,shauna. Malwae tweep. I don't know.

1968.

A hundred. Zero.

A picnic table? Sure. Water feature.

A play area for the kids. God, that sounds wonderful.

And we have some awesome photos. One.

April, document this. Document what?

Are you gonna be okay? Oh, yeah.

Are you pumped up? Yes!

Are you ready? Yes, definitely.

At the Smithfield Community Center. Mmm.

Banter's fun. Where'd that come from?

Brendanawicz! Hey, Tom.

But this time he made an exception. Hmm.

Come on. Go back inside, Hank.

Do you love it? Yeah.

Does it hurt a lot? No.

Don't make fun of me. I'm not.

Drink that. Okay.

Excuse me? Your husband.

For what? Ladies. Scully's Bar.

Get her shoes! No!

Get out. Oh, my God.

Go ahead. Hi.

Go get some help. Help!

Go get some help. Help!

Go get some help. Help!

Gossip Town? Right.

Great. Okay. Come on.

Have you ever thought about Ron sexually? What?

He runs weird. He really does.

He's a cute FDR. Yeah! Yeah!

He's coming over. What? Okay. Be cool, be cool!

He's six, but he has Benjamin Button's disease Whoa.

Hello. Hello, former City Councilman.

Hey, Ann, how are you? Yeah, hey. Of course I do.

Hey, Ann. Steve.

Hey, April. Hey.

Hey, kids. That's another good one.

Hey, Leslie! Hey!

Hey, my iPod! Oh, yeah! My pirate!

Hey, park lady. Yeah?

Hey. Hey, Brendanawicz.

Hey. Hi.

Hi, Brian, Leslie Knope. Deputy director of...

Hi. Hello.

Hmm. You like the Everly Brothers?

How about that? You call him!

How? Andy.

I can see that, but... Yeah.

I can't go. Why not?

I do! I do!

I don't know what came over me. Leave.

I would live in that park. But then you'd be homeless.

I'll do something about it. Really?

I'm gonna get out of here. Yeah.

I'm gonna put him down as a yes. Don't do that.

I'm gonna write down 10. Yeah.

I'm here. Hey! Wow!

I'm so sorry. Mmm hmm.

I'm sorry. It's okay, it's...

I'm sorry. Me, too.

Is she okay? Yeah, she's fine.

Isn't it great? Congratulations.

It is. Yeah.

It was nice to meet you. It was fun.

It's like a fairy tale. Yeah, Tammy stinks.

It's not broken. It is.

Leslie. I just heard the news. Hey.

Let's go. Are we done?

Look at that. Safety.

Look... I'd love to do it.

Miss Knope? Yes.

Mm,smells great. Yeah,it's really nice.

Mmm. Delicious, right?

My name is Kate Spivack. Mmm hmm. I remember you.

Next month, then. Fine. Uh huh.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

No flier? Nope.

No, no, forget it. No, we're going home.

No! Absolutely not. No. Yes.

No! Tonight? Yeah.

No. "Marlene Griggs Knope

No. Now, in this recurring dream

No. Oh. Well.

Nope. You didn't say anything to me?

Not good enough? Nope.

Number two, the girls... That's fine. Just...

Oh, no! Oh, my... Oh, no!

Oh! Wait, what's that?

Oh! Yeah. Mark.

Oh! Oh, I like this. This is banter. That crowd.

Oh. Yeah.

Okay. Let me tell you why,

Okay. This weekend, guys.

Okay. Hi, band! Hey. What's going on?

Okay. Okay. Okay. All right.

Okay... Don't over think it.

Or we could... Leslie!

Put it in an e mail? Nope.

Really? Oh, yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah. You just go to work,

Ron! Okay. You're okay.

So, I heard you went to Indiana State. Yes.

Sure. Great.

Tell me it's gonna be okay. It's gonna...

Thank you. Sure.

That is not true. It's not true?

That's so great. That's so exciting!

That's... Go to section three. Okay.

The up skirt photo. Awesome.

Tom, have you booked the hall yet? Yes, sir.

Uh uh. Okay, we're gonna need you to get out.

Uh. It is not going well at all. Mmm hmm.

Um... What do you mean?

Victor Miles. Hi.

Wait! I think I'm gonna take off, too.

We don't... Do you want to come this way?

We got one. Come on.

We're completely ready... Andy, let's go.

Were you totally surprised? Yeah.

What crowd? You know,

What? You know that guy Mark?

Which Mark? Which Mark?

Why? Because it's late.

Why? Don't worry. I have a hard hat on.

Why? Please, April! This is serious!

Wow. Ew! Sick.

Yeah, call one. Definitely. I would.

Yeah, I should go, Leslie. Wait, you guys!

Yeah! I'm really fired up.

Yeah. Are you excited?

Yeah. He just fell in the pit!

Yeah. How about this?

Yeah. Kids.

Yeah. Okay, take this off.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Win what?

Yeah. Yeah. Then,

Yeah. You gotta be ready for it.

Yes. I'm gonna call Dr. Harris right now.

Yes. Wow,

You didn't do anything wrong? Mmm mmm.

You get me on the phone with Dr. Harris. Yes. Yes. I will.

You mean guys like you... No!

You mean, like, scrubs? Yeah, put those on.

You think you can do any better? No, please.

You want a drink? Yes, I do very much want a drink.

You will? Yes. Yes.

You're not allowed to sleep in here. What is?

You're the man, Leslie! Thanks, Tom.

Zero. Zero.

...and we need one more

'Cause I don't No,sorry.

'cause Leslie Knope's stopping for no one.

'cause the momentum of that can kind of keep it alive,or else it'll die.

'Cause they're gonna be here soon.

'cause we're trying to build this park I don't understand.

"'That's why we need to turn it into a park.'"

"A decision that will live in infamy.

"After one and a half beers,

"and somewhat enjoying yourself,

"and to be honest with you, I don't know what I'm doing."

"awash in the glow of acceptance

"because my ride's gonna be a big one."

"But I'm gonna be honest with you. I have no clue what I'm doing."

"Committees cover our democracy with blood."

"Daddy's Girl."

"drank some of that wine without my knowledge.

"Enjoying yourself and having fun,

"Example, 'You can't handle the pit.

"Get on board and buckle up,

"has not five but seven Asian friends.

"having a moderate amount of fun

"Hey my"

"Hey, Vlad! Look at these rocks!

"I am the Deputy Director of Parks and Recreation,

"I attended an informal boys' club meeting for the very first time.

"I made a very unwise decision.

"I opened a gift basket of wine and cheese.

"I repeat, not been invited.

"I was learning disabled and my mom cast a very long shadow."

"I'm the President of the United States.

"If a person is a man, turn to page two."

"If the person looks like a celebrity, example, Jack Nicholson,

"into this elite, exclusive club..."

"Let's pretend they're potatoes!"

"Marlene Griggs Knope has never solicited a male prostitute.

"Marlene Griggs Knope has said the N word only four times in her entire life."

"Marlene Griggs Knope is definitely not a whore."

"Marlene Griggs Knope is morbidly obese."

"Nikolai! Do you want to swim in the dirt?"

"Now we understand why you are the first female President of the United States."

"Oh. The government. The government stinks.

"or having no fun and no enjoyment?"

"Our intern, April Ludgate,

"She had not been invited to the meeting of the boys' club.

"that just stands for justice and truth and the American way."

"That was never part of the plan.

"The lines are too long at the DMV."

"There once was a boy named Milo,

"There's nothing wrong with being a wife and mother."

"Though it is my hope that someday, she lives in a world

"Two days ago,

"use this to help your pitch.

"where the very idea of boys' clubs is ancient history."

"who didn't know what to do with himself, not just sometimes, but..."

"Wouldn't you rather have a park than a storage facility for nuclear waste?"

"You are so pure, you're like a brown Superman with a beard