Pam & Tommy (2022) - Season 1 Edit

A bottom, a beta, a chump, a bitch.

A bunch of publications are on there now.

A celebrity sex tape

A couple of days after I fired him.

A disgusting one.

A doctor, lawyer.

A dress code isn't always just about

A drop more wedgie, please, Katie?

A drop more wedgie, please, Katie.

A float cup valve. No.

A fucking fortune.

A Hugh G. Wiener.

A little extra nutrish for the peanut.

A little less ass cheek.

A lot of people I talking about this tape,

A lot of people know about it.

A lot of people will know about it, yes,

A lot.

A moral epiphany?

A Mr. Wiener?

A mutually agreed upon figure we're both happy with.

A padre? Sí!

A PI. Exactly.

A really funny story about their transmitter

A really good deal. Wholesale deal.

A Rolex, a, uh, uh, Cartier watch,

A spokesman for the magazine

A steaming pile of shit.

A stuntman that matches my measurements.

A tape of Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee is going around

A tape?

A top priority case for, uh, for you guys.

A waterbed is a whole other setup.

A waterfall flowing into, uh, a koi pond.

A website.

A wedding bikini?

A what a what site?

A what site?

A while ago.

A Zen garden.

A's booked, man.

Aah!

About a sex tape.

About Mr. Lee before you met him?

About this tape, particularly, for some reason, men.

Absolutely top marks.

Absolutely.

Accountants!

Action.

Actually the ones who released the tape are unfounded?

Actually, I don't think you have a bad side.

Actually, there was this one other thing.

Actually, you know what?

Address bar?

After all that, you think I'm gonna just

After coming to my house without permission?

After getting into an alleged altercation

Again tomorrow.

Against Guccione and the magazine

Ah, baby.

Ah, I got it.

Ah, Seth Warshavsky.

Ah, thanks, bro.

Ah, too much. They'll flag it.

Ah, uh huh.

Ah, yes.

Ah!

Ah! Ah, ah!

Ah! Fuck!

Ah! God damn it!

Ah! I am one lucky camper.

Ah! Okay, I can move myself.

Ah! Whoo!

Ah.

Ah. Tell her the Jerry story.

Ahh, come here.

Ahh, honey!

Ahh!

Ahh! Harder!

Ahh.

Albert.

Albuquerque Civic Center "Shout at the Devil" tour,

Alex, can you cover for me?

All acting is real acting.

All clear. Oh, God.

All I do is root for you! I want you to be huge!

All I know is, we're suing the shit out of him.

All I want to do is move on,

All of 'em.

All out media blitz.

All right, all right.

All right, all right.

All right, come on in.

All right, hey.

All right, I used the special whole grain batter,

All right, I'm gonna miss the kickoff.

All right, it'll be our little secret!

All right, just keep it slow.

All right, let's come up with more stuff.

All right, look, dude.

All right, Mrs. Lee.

All right, next clip. I just I'm sorry.

All right, now really get in there.

All right, so what's going on with the Bond spoof?

All right, then we're just back to square one.

All right, try and find your light on your right cheek.

All right, uh, Attorney General Janet Reno says

All right, we cut?

All right, well, I guess I'm

All right? Leave the rest up to me.

All right? Leave the rest up to me.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. Anyway, I will check...

All right. Bruce, can I have a word, please?

All right. Next clip.

All rights reserved."

All sorts of X rated things to each other on a boat.

All that costs money, a fuckload of money.

All the you know, the false starts

All the best, Karma."

All the major distributors.

All this for some lousy 27 grand?

All we're doing is getting our money back

Also, go fuck yourself.

Also, if they ever actually invent

Also, whole job on my Discover card,

Always am.

Am I getting warm? Am I warm? Am I warm? Am I warm?

Am I gonna wait a half an hour

Am I not wearing a shirt and shoes?

Am I right, fellas? That's actually pretty good.

America.

Amsterdam is the drugs and hookers capital of the world.

An accountant.

An instrument of justice,

An offer? Yeah.

Anal specialist.

Ancient saying. "Ancient saying.

And and they couldn't, even if they wanted.

And a beautiful family.

And after just taking it

And ain't it fun trying?

And also, just 'cause we're not together

And as such, my conscience will not allow me

And at first, you let 'em go.

And Barb Wire is gonna be

And Barb Wire's gonna be the biggest movie in the world.

And can you confirm

And can't we take that stupid thing off him?

And chill your fucking shit out.

And draw up a press release.

And exposed to the world,

And Fernet Branca for two weeks.

And fuck your, uh, stuffy ass bar too.

And get the hell out of my house.

And have it taken without permission

And having to deal with assholes like you?

And he flipped me off and he threw garbage at me

And he watched it, that's it.

And he's so in touch with his feelings.

And how...

And I bet he wasn't the first to say it.

And I get away, but well, there's a guy at the studio.

And I have noticed, if you sit him next to the telly,

And I have to answer? In deposition, yes.

And I I just forgot some stuff.

And I knew it the very first time I touched her.

And I knew it.

And I knew it.

And I start charging to watch.

And I will not negotiate.

And I will not negotiate.

And I would agree with them.

And I would agree with them.

And I would agree with them.

And I would love to,

And I'll consider us even.

And I'm a bitch.

And I'm a bitch.

And I'm down here in the valley for a few days

And I'm gonna pop his fucking head off

And I'm like, "Jerry,

And I'm scared of getting left behind!

And I'm willing to make you a deal.

And if they defy that order, then

And if you got a problem with it, fuck you."

And if you had the rights?

And is publishing stills.

And it never ends well.

And it's so easy to repeat yourself,

And just kind of fizzling out on its own.

And just, in general,

And let us know how it's going.

And Lyle Lovett are filing for divorce.

And make love to the camera.

And may you, in the process, deliver

And me. Spoil me on Christmas.

And meet Pam Anderson.

And Miles is two.

And Mr. Hefner's strong mutual

And my cute, boring accountant boyfriend.

And neither is your daughter.

And not have to fuck anyone at all?

And not have to fuck disgusting, sweaty men?

And now you got me on your fucking ass!

And particularly, for some reason, men.

And period dot com.

And pop his head off like a fucking dandelion."

And preview the new season.

And release it into the world.

And she became this huge sex symbol, you know?

And she heard from somebody at the mansion

And she makes all these, like,

And she started doing all these serious Oscar roles,

And she's her job there

And she's like, "Well, fuck you."

And she's like, "Well, no. Not exactly."

And so, I did it.

And still remember who you are.

And taking it and taking it my whole life,

And tell me what you come up with,

And that is the beauty of the web.

And that is winners and losers,

And that really spoke to me personally.

And that's just in the first 24 hours.

And that's what this ruling is saying I am,

And that's what triggers the fill to stop.

And the cars coming in the other direction

And the crown jewel.

And the dead ends,

And the gang at ITC Telepictures Worldwide.

And the retractable mirror?

And the sooner you do, the happier you'll be.

And then a biker gang shows up at the studio

And then he just changes his mind.

And then in the '80s, she just turns around,

And then it was shot really interestingly.

And then one day he comes in

And then right on the drop, that's where you come in.

And then she got that tough by being,

And then she just sort of holds it there

And then we'd pop you down on the balcony

And then you answer the question.

And then you get the thing in the mail.

And then you said you said you put it in the safe.

And then you're gonna have to wear

And then...

And there's a guy who's selling the fucking tape

And these were left for you.

And they certainly did not want it sold.

And they keep coming, and then your light

And they know I'll have the baby weight off?

And they know they're taking advantage of you

And they know they're wrong

And they're just doing it anyway.

And they're taking advantage of your kindness,

And this, like, big ass ruby and diamond cross.

And thus protected by the first amendment.

And to all my listeners, a magical and merry Christmas.

And to you, Sleepless in Seattle,

And Tommy. Tommy did too.

And Tommy's about to cum,

And took our shit, our own personal, private shit.

And unfortunately, I was not the best thing

And watch your tape spread like the plague all over the world.

And we can reach every single one of them.

And we have just the hard black object people want

And we will end this whole thing, all right?

And we'll come back here... every year.

And we're gonna get pregnant again.

And we're gonna get pregnant again...

And we're gonna have a long and happy marriage

And we're gonna have a long and happy marriage.

And we're taking legal steps to make sure of it.

And what better way than running a bunch of porno shots

And what is the question?

And what path is that?

And what were the circumstances of that meeting?

And what were the circumstances?

And what's your dad's name?

And when Mr. Lee approached you at the club,

And where were you socializing?

And where were you while engaging

And why is that?

And yeah, overall, I just had a long day of,

And you best get going.

And you better have that fucking tape.

And you can do sort of a stretchy,

And you can see her starring

And you go on the search engine,

And you just type what you want to see.

And you know what?

And you know what? It gets cold at night,

And you owe Butchie money.

And you see how happy he is to be inside of her.

And you send a check to who knows where,

And you think that's

And you will get me some of my money by tomorrow.

And you, son, are a loser.

And you'll still have some compensation

And you're bored out of your skull.

And you're going to get out of the Tower Records' parking lot.

And you're gonna give them to me.

And you're in, um

And you're someplace else,

And, um, it's cool.

And, um, you know, then then she did Barbarella,

And, you know, I got the whole thing memorized.

And, you know, so people are really gonna

And? He loved you.

And...yeah.

Another alpha male.

Another what?

Ants?

Antwerp is.

Any mention of the tape from any publication with a site.

Any word on Penthouse?

Anybody but yourself, because you know what?

Anybody thirsty?

Anything else?

Anything on the World Wide Web.

Anyway, I have no doubt

Anyway, if I give you my, uh, credit card number,

Anyway, it's not a big deal. It's not a big deal.

Anyway, we shouldn't be here for long,

Apologies for the short notice.

Apologies, this is a welcome gift from the manager.

Apparently millions of children are dying to get their hands

Apparently the breakup is mutual.

Apparently there's a love tape going around

Apparently there's a love tape going around

Apparently, someone in this house

Apparently, they pitched it to half the Valley.

Are now watching movies at home on VHS than in theaters?

Are praising Pam for the tape.

Are you a priest?

Are you crazy?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Are you gonna just keep talking about this

Are you hungry?

Are you kidding me? Why am I

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you ready for one right now?

Are you ready?

Are you saying you got a deal?

Are you sure he said that?

Are you sure you didn't?

Are you sure? Positive.

Are you sure? Yes.

Are you there, man?

Are you there?

Aren't we gonna be, like,

As "like a father to me" and that you are

As a "close friend" of Mr. Hefner's,

As a good old fashioned VHS.

As a technophile and former porn star,

As a thank you for what?

As he was forcibly removed from the infamous

As I said, we were on Lake Mead, Arizona.

As in, what is the story

As long as we stay on all fours,

As opposed to

As someone who engaged in the services of prostitutes?

As well as provide context for certain sections.

Asked and answered.

Assume the position.

At 18% interest.

At a club in Los Angeles.

At his dick.

At the airport,

At this door ever again, okay?

Attacked President Clinton's record on crime, yeah.

Attention all passengers,

Augh! Ahh!

Austin Moore.

Austin?

Automotive's got all the hottest SUVs you

AVN projects we're gonna hit $3 billion by 1997.

Aw, babe.

Aw, babe.

Aw, that's sweet.

Aw, yeah, bro. Just fucking, you know, uh,

Aw.

Away from his desk at the moment.

Axl Rose,

B?

Babe, it's a fucking football game.

Babe, stop!

Babe, there's fucking guns in there, jewelry.

Babe, who is that?

Babe, you are not doing anything wrong.

Babe!

Babe! What?

Babe.

Baby

Baby No.

Baby, college, retirement

Baby, get in.

Baby, he's on it. Relax.

Baby, I can't stand being away from you.

Baby, I love you so fucking much.

Baby, I love you!

Baby, I'm not the one that ignored the sign.

Baby, just got a call from a certain lawyer of ours.

Baby, look into the camera.

Baby, look!

Baby, we will get it back, all right?

Baby, we will get it back.

Baby.

Baby.

Baby.

Baby.

Baby.

Baby.

Baby.

Baby.

Baby.

Baby. Yeah.

Back and forth to Malibu, so I'm gonna do that.

Back around.

Back to one.

Bad boys are out, and good boys are in.

Bad stuff happens, you know?

Bam!

Bam.

Barb Wire is in theaters...

Bare Necessity starting to fade.

Barone's.

Basically, what we're trying to say is

Be to slip your materials to Mr. Guccione,

Beary bear.

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

Because Amsterdam is not the diamond capital of the world.

Because he will get what is coming to him.

Because I had the nerve to pose for Playboy.

Because I have

Because I have

Because I have spent my public life in a bathing suit.

Because if you believe that,

Because it turns out we're not the opener,

Because it's beautiful.

Because that's the kind of drop off that you see

Because you felt that it was unlikely

Because you're out partying at some dance club,

Because...

Beef? Anybody who hates you?

Beer man!

Before it becomes profitable, and that's where I'm at

Before we get to the garage.

Before you played in Barb Wire?

Behind the register for you.

Being able to see into your vehicle

Being given a copy of a tape

Being my wife?

Being with you.

Besides it's not like they're seeing anything

Besides, if anybody does, it's gonna be me.

Best paparazzi repellant money can buy.

Big ones. Real big ones.

Billy, you're drunk and I'm not one of your clients.

Blam! Whoo!

Bless this videotape

Bless us with the body and soul of a child.

Bob Guccione is the founder and publisher

Bob Guccione, he's got the tape.

Bob Guccione, he's got the tape.

Bob, when you have a minute, you really should see this.

Body Thief, Queen of the Damned

Bootlegs of a stolen celebrity sex tape.

Both are jammed up with priors.

Boy, she is one tough cookie, huh?

Breakfast time.

Bret Michaels.

Bret Michaels...

Bring me the doofus.

Bro, you ain't fucking around, huh?

Bro.

Bunnies, come to the bunny patch.

Business looks like it's going great.

But acts like Barney Fife. Night, babe.

But at least you don't have to get dressed tonight.

But burglaries don't get solved that often.

But either way, it was definitively stolen.

But for a judge just to accept it out of hand

But for the next few months, I am 24/7 Barb Wire.

But have you ever done any modeling?

But he is

But he's not here.

But honestly, don't a I can't

But how do they know to search for the tape

But how...

But I am currently harnessing the power of the web

But I am not the man to do this.

But I can't seem to do that,

But I do want to say that whatever it is

But I gotta say,

But I have to ask the question.

But I have you.

But I think you have to be smart about it.

But I'd like to start charging,

But I'm doing it off a third generation dub,

But I'm just

But I'm not making a deal

But I've been trying to reach you for about a week now.

But if you do happen to get the releases,

But if you wanna try and top him...

But in the end it's still us.

But it has its roots in ancient Hebrew scripture.

But it is a skill you gotta learn.

But it is not.

But it would have been possible, yes?

But it's it's it's

But just

But more importantly than that,

But on my trip to the safe, I'm really gonna miss you.

But she can feel it.

But she didn't care.

But spaced out.

But that number,

But that shit's straight up craze!

But that's the hard part, you know.

But then just fucking

But there's a tape out there floating around.

But these left turn cars, they don't stop.

But they are going in a different direction.

But they mentioned me. Did they say my name?

But this is worse for me.

But this...

But very few will have actually seen it.

But we could have contact every now and then.

But we don't have the Web.

But we won't spoil we won't spoil them.

But what about Pamela?

But what about the people that they shipped it to?

But what if I have something to say?

But what? But what?

But who?

But with a new decade, a new rock sound came

But with kind of, like, a blues boogie vibe.

But you are still not coming down.

But you can't be afraid of change.

But you know what, before we move, I just

But you know, I can't I can't give a yes.

But you're not in Ladysmith, Canada, anymore.

But, dude,

But, you know, I wanna be rested and fresh.

But, you know, it's just it's up to the studio.

But, you know, nothing like this, nothing like this.

But...

But... But what?

But...you know, that's okay.

Butchie as in Peraino?

Butchie Peraino.

By 1994, Motley Crue had hit rock bottom

By such and such day, we're gonna cut off your cable."

By the way, I sold 100 million fucking albums!

By this time tomorrow,

By this time tomorrow, I'll be on a flight

By virtue of its being in the public conversation,

By who?

By your pupils, you'll be taught."

Bye. Have a great day.

California?

Call me Mr. Peraino.

Call them back and tell them you're not doing it.

Called the Netherlands

Calm down. We should be suing him!

Calmer you stay, better this goes,

CAM GIRL 1: I can be bad.

CAM GIRL 2: It's my first time.

CAM GIRL 3: I mean, what if I take it off?

CAM GIRL 3: Oh, you want to see a little more?

CAM GIRL 4: Oh, yes.

Camgirl? Yeah.

Can find us a gorgeous Labatt's fan.

Can I borrow your bike?

Can I do it without him?

Can I help you?

Can I see it?

Can I talk to you for a sec?

Can we see the ring, Pam?

Can you believe it? I know.

Can you confirm who the two individuals are on this clip?

Can you get that? Yes.

Can you identify the road on which it took place?

Can you play Hi 8?

Can you play Hi 8?

Can you tell what that is?

Can you think of any financial benefits

Can you think of better publicity?

Can't believe you'd fucking do that.

Can't even imagine.

Canada? What?

Cancún!

Care for another?

Careful of the cake.

Careful, baby.

Careful, baby.

Carmen Electra's a hack!

Carry on.

Casting directors...

Catch up over coffee.

Changes?

Channel 5 comes in a lot clearer.

Check 'em out. Check 'em out.

Cheers!

Cheers.

Cheers.

Children touch it, and it giggles with glee.

CIVT,

Classy A list actresses do not have this stuff.

Clean out every last copy of that movie tape.

Clear your debt.

Close second. Damned I will give you.

Close your eyes, close your eyes.

Club Love is apparently the flagship.

Cockbuster.

Come here, cave woman!

Come here.

Come here. Let's go to Fiji. Let's go to Fiji tonight.

Come in.

Come on in. Come on in.

Come on in. Have a seat.

Come on, baby!

Come on, baby.

Come on, Bev, just this once.

Come on, I wasn't gonna come solo.

Come on, just fucking open it.

Come on, let me talk to him. Put him on speaker.

Come on, let's stop.

Come on, man. We can't sell that in here.

Come on, Pamela. Get the fuck out.

Come on, we can make it a girls night!

Come on, we're gonna have a blast.

Come on, what about Jenny McCarthy?

Come on, you guys are writers. Let's go, what else?

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Please don't.

Come on. Come on!

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Get the fuck out of here hey!

Come on. Hey.

Come on. That's not good enough.

Come on. We gotta get that judge's name.

Come.

Coming.

Coming's what I do best.

Company based out of Seattle,

Compensation.

Compensatory damages.

Completely up to you, whatever you feel comfortable with.

Compliments of Pamela Anderson.

Congrats, man.

Congratulations on the baby. Thanks, Jay.

Considerable risk and labor,

Containing pornographic images of yourself?

Cook dinner, watch a movie.

Cool.

Cool. Shoot.

Cost?

Could I be so bold as to offer some advice?

Could I take a message?

Could you be a little more literal?

Could you buzz me in please real quick?

Could you just give us a moment please?

Could you please get the door for me?

Could you repeat the question?

Counsel for defendants will take the deposition

Couple of pieces of wood.

Crazy psycho stalker.

Cream, sugar?

Custom engraved fucking mother of pearl grip.

Cut!

Cut.

Cut. Cut. Cut.

Damn fault though.

Damn.

Damn.

Damned is up there. You know,

David Charvet.

David Oliver Bass.

David.

Days?

Decent job, you know?

Decide you're interested, give me a call.

Deep Throat?

Definitely.

Delivering richly deserved comeuppance

Denise fucking Richards?

Dennis, plumbing. Right on.

Depicting the two of them engaged in all sorts

Described your relationship with Hugh Hefner

Dickhead.

Did he just honk a boat horn with his penis?

Did I do okay?

Did I hear you just mention the internet?

Did Pam Anderson sign a release?

Did Tommy Lee sign a fucking release?

Did you do a web search? No.

Did you ever have fight trainings

Did you find him attractive?

Did you fucking rat me out, Rand?

Did you give them back?

Did you happen to notice what it says at the tippy top?

Did you know anything at all

Did you know more people

Did you pose for the magazine again?

Didn't exactly light the world on fire, but

Didn't think so.

Different addresses, different cover art.

Dipshit carpenter?

Directly from us.

Disable it.

Disguising our identity is not the problem.

Disgusting! Gross.

Dislike of one another, hmm?

Do me the honor, please...

Do not come.

Do not complement me on my dick, you fuck!

Do not do it.

Do not do it.

Do not fuck this up.

Do not fucking do this.

Do not listen to this major movie star

Do not.

Do nothing that complicates things for me,

Do we have a computer?

Do you care to lose a bit of the blouse?

Do you concur with these statements?

Do you feel like you take after her in that way?

Do you have any idea how humiliating it was?

Do you have any idea how humiliating it was?

Do you have any idea what that's gonna cost?

Do you have any idea what you put that

Do you have any old float cup valves?

Do you hear me? Sorry, bro,