Archer - Season 9 Edit

A descent into profound and lasting shame!

A golden idol, somewhere in the jungle.

A new sixty thousand dollar seaplane!

A pretty colossal set of tits under there.

A pretty colossal set of tits under there.

A ride out of here on one of their planes.

A scout saw another group of warriors headed toward the village.

A what?!

A, nothing, and B, also nothing.

About coming into some money, or, say...

About how you wanted to get married and shit and...

About if I'd ever, you know, like, eat a person.

Actually had kind of a weak premise.

Agent Fuchs Der Abwehr hier.

Ah, I know, but I was going to ask it before he said that

Ah, well, he said even I could come.

Ah, yes, well, the Führer, um...

Ah. About that... [scoffs]

Ah. Terribile...

Ahem.

All Mother cares about is getting her Manu hooks

All of a sudden I was back in Spain,

All of whom are heavily armed

All right, already. Come on! We don't need all this junk.

All right, Archer, I am bored with this and with you.

All right! Enough fun. Now back to business.

All right! One million Reichsmarks!

All right. I get your point. I will find it.

All the giant boulders and poison darts and stuff.

Almost mite free. And, B, I swear, they were right here.

Already have dibs on Harbinger Harbor?

Alright, A, what are you up to,

An anthropologist studies human beings and their societies and cultures.

And about to be eaten! We have to follow this trail and rescue them.

And artisanal gin? Ow!

And B, what's it got to do with Fuchs?

And basically totally in love with me.

And be worshipped as a goddess.

And before that, I flew here in a plane

And begin living a life of luxury where she can't find me.

And C: shut up and... Oh, my God,

And come here, look at all this shit.

And did you see that, Pam?! Also perfect!

And falls into a vat of braising liquid.

And follow up, why are you doing it here?

And for some verdammt reason, Luigi is not open.

And frankly, I really don't see how this is any of your business.

And get off this Scheiße island!

And get some more poison darts from Pam.

And get us to that goddamn idol

And God knows how much it'll cost!

And how do you say "get ready"?

And I don't know how much time they have left.

And I feel like I'd feel a lot better

And I have nothing, Archer! Nothing!

And I mean, I assume you've got

And if I only get 40%...

And if ifs and buts were candy and nuts,

And kind of wedge it in there?

And maybe Santa would bring me

And my house covered in blood and shit.

And not in a starvation type deal,

And now I think it's feast o'clock.

And once that German snake finds it, he will be long gone,

And over there, there...

And probably not compared to this goddamn map.

And see if I can't find that pesky idol.

And see what we can find out about this gold non monkey.

And set that to some bouncy music,

And show Miss Vandertunt's guest to the door?

And shtupping the crazy coconut lady.

And since France is so far away, and you are so outnumbered,

And snakes and cannibals and what else, Gott weiß?

And so far, we have no idea where to even look for it.

And so far, you're not making me any money.

And so Germany will build a museum.

And so now we're gonna settle it up here,

And that idol is my ticket out of Loserville,

And that together, we will kill these white devils.

And the common denominator in every bad thing

And the other pilots providing close air support to the new soldiers,

And then he asked me what my question was and... [gunshot]

And then her whole body gets shaved.

And then here's a trail of four men carrying a much,

And then his dick off.

And then I'm gonna bust out and shoot his eye out.

And then sort of cut it down to just the good parts

And then spit into these gourds to ferment. [spits]

And then that sneaky little kraut gets all flustered,

And then they pay for themselves!

And then when the rest of them go into a feeding frenzy,

And then your dick off. And then...

And then, we'll have a huge feast.

And then, you can tell me why I'm looking at the package

And then... his brains.

And they have not seen a woman in months. Oof.

And they were gonna leave you in the quicksand while they looked for it.

And this stupid island is under an occupying power,

And those hapless Spanish communists.

And to... wait, what is wrong with you?

And we are best friends. You're actually the only person

And what color are your Germans, huh?

And what if I fail them?

And what is happening right now?

And whatever other bullshit diseases poor people get.

And where the hell were you going in such a hurry?

And where the hell'd you get that?

And who the hell told you about...?

And why would anyone want a map to some moldy old statue?

And would you and your guest care to enjoy

And you get the bird, by the way.

And you get the bird, by the way.

And you got nothing... nothing to show for it

And you have no idea of its power!

And you might as well start now,

And you're gonna take that job at... [grunts]

And you're gonna tell Dad he was right,

And, look, the natives are rallying.

And, two, I'm about this close

And, while you're at it,

Any guy would be lucky to have you.

Any other questions?

Anybody with the sense God gave a goddamn duck

Anything of value, be it monetary or otherwise,

ARCHER: [laughs] It's working!

ARCHER: [whispering] That's really good advice.

ARCHER: Flies like a dream.

ARCHER: Good looking tiger trap, ladies!

ARCHER: Kokatu! Kokatu!

ARCHER: Kokatu! Kokatu!

ARCHER: Noah, goddamn it, if you don't...

ARCHER: Oh, did I not do that?

ARCHER: Oh, don't flatter yourself, it was just a reflex.

ARCHER: Oh, man.

ARCHER: Oh! Ow! Oh! Oh! Ugh!

ARCHER: Psst. Noah. You've told them

ARCHER: Uh oh, what are Nazi Laurel and Hardy up to?

ARCHER: Um, okay! Good job, I guess!

ARCHER: Well, you two idiots can stick around

ARCHER: Well, you two idiots can stick around

ARCHER: What are they chanting?

Are you in position?!

Are you out of your mind?!

Are you quite insane?! There could be scores of them!

Are you... Mother, is that true? You were just gonna let us die?

Are you...? You are serious.

As an aperitif. Happy?

As for that, I found this,

As your princess, I demand we get the idol first.

At first, I was like, "pfft," but then I was like "myeah?"

At least it's a seaplane, right?

At Uncle Mort's modeling agency. And guess what.

At whatever fancy pants finishing school you went to...

Atzera! Batu baruka atzera!

Aw, come on! This bullshit is boring as balls.

Aw, damn, but we're not getting out alive, huh?

Aw, man... Okay, here it goes...

Awww!

B: they're not gonna get the reference, and...

Batu baruka zu zaku.

Batu baruka! Batu baruka!

Batu! Batu, Batu! [yelling]

Because apparently, it never is, but don't worry. [Grunts]

Because get the hell off me, bird!

Because he turns the enemy warplanes into bricks!

Because he's stuck in quicksand!

Because I don't have binocular vision.

Because I don't want to die in a hut,

Because I hate this goddamn island.

Because I put everything into us

Because I should probably maybe eat something.

Because in Spain I shot him down five times.

Because it's broken down old horse meat!

Because of its magical powers.

Because the only two kinds of luck you have are bad and none

Because the tupua is a legend for a reason,

Because this dodo says she can see a trail?

Because we don't have all night!

Because why are you so mad?!

Because why'd you shit on the sofa?!

Because you are a jinx!

Because you are all under arrest!

Because you're both company employees

Because your nightcap is gonna be...

Better rate of climb, so big whoop, you got a couple of kills.

Bird, I swear... Ow!

Bird! Pam, copy it!

Bita kuju!

Bocadas De mierda!

Boroka dugu. Zenbat ordo?

Boroka handiak, boroka boss.

Brandy and cigars in your room upstairs?

But even though time is meaningless to me,

But I can't help wonder if Japanese soldiers

But I was gonna shoot Ziegler,

But I wouldn't want her to get killed

But I'll bet you dollars to donuts, they've already escaped,

But I'm gonna go find that goddamn idol.

But I'm hugging you, with my talons.

But I'm not sticking around to find out.

But I'm very hungry,

But if my almost totally nonexistent understanding

But maybe, like, a drumstick?

But meanwhile, instead of searching the jungle for the idol,

But merely a direct descendant of, um,

But my dissertation...

But not as powerful as German puns!

But not compared to this breakfast! [clatter, sad sigh]

But notice you have there a map of the island?

But so now what? We can't go back to the island now,

But the honor of France is not. I shall place them all under arrest!

But the jungle is very dangerous, full of lizards

But then, on the way to the ceremony,

But they are not indigenous to the Pacific.

But until then, get back in here and bring me some more... wienerschnitzel.

But wait, I mean, I can't pull you out

But we gotta have the money to fly, so...

But what're you doing with your gun, there?

But you told me that was chickenshit,

But, overall, great job, everybody.

By a sort of überattacker, a boss, if you will.

By what I can only assume was a giant jungle bat,

C'mon, baby, c'mon, you can do it. Don't let him in the slot!

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, where are you?

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon.

C'mon, rise and shine, Fritz. [gentle snoring]

C'mon, tapas?

C'mon. C'mon, snap out of it, bub, 'cause, uh, we got company.

Can crash land a plane, it's me, right? Huh?

Can stop us from finding the idol!

Can you fly it up into the notch of that tree

Can you please just get me out of here?

Can't you also just be a cool guy?

Can't you pad it with something?

Cannibals don't only eat people. I'm sure they have side salads.

Cannibals don't only eat people. I'm sure they have side salads.

Case in point, what'd you mean when you said

Charmed, I'm sure. So they're not cannibals?

CHERYL: Ew, look! This guy has ringworm.

CHERYL: Isn't this exciting?

Chief, my lying and scheming mother.

Chief, you are a tough room.

Chinchilla, on the other hand,

Chinchilladas!

Christ on a bike! My head kills!

Close to La Crique De I'Homme Mort.

Come in here this very instant!

Come on up, Ziegler.

Come on, out the back!

Come on, try it. It tastes like chicken.

Come on, we are just some cool guys on leave,

Come on, you're big boned. And easily six five.

Come on. Show them the heater.

Could tell was nowhere near wide enough.

CRACKERS: I just want to reiterate

CRACKERS: Should I come with you?

Damn it!

Damn it. Well, the good news is,

Death to whites. No offense.

Deep inside a labyrinth of shafts and tunnels,

Destroyed my marriage, and sentenced me to a life of shame?

Do I need to remind you just who exactly owns that flying crate?

Do you seriously not? It's so obvious.

Do you think it's enough time for us to toodle on over,

Does not speak German, so we would like to practice English.

Does that mean we're not getting married?

Don't be foolish. Besides, what other women even live

Don't be so dramatic, she's not a total loss,

Don't talk about any... [howling]

Don't worry about me, Pam.

Don't worry about my six, Pam.

Don't worry liebchen... I have eine große Karotte for you.

Don't worry, I put Crackers on it.

Don't you wanna know how?

Don't! Don't say a word.

Doot dooooot!

Drizzled with melted Belgian chocolate,

Easy! Easy! I'm supposed to give you this.

Eat a dick!

Eat a person?

Eh? Zakila koko?

Eh.

Eh... parlez vous Français?

El sabor sensación que está barriendo la nación!

Eleven liters of beer, please.

Erste Sache, nicht mehr mit deiser

Et tu n'as rien fait... Rien!

Et tu, Doudou?

Even after you gave him the best years of your life

Except for half an old magical bird! [Sobs]

Fall back! Fall back! Fall back!

Fantastich! So do we have a deal?

Fetch me some bivalves. Budge up, biggun.

Fighting zose German bastards.

Fine! Und from now on,

First thing, I'm gonna shoot your eye out.

For all you know, they broke out of some top secret lab.

For the idol, und not one pfennig more.

For the love of God, woman!

For your information, we're working on a plan

Found the idol, and are just yucking it up!

Four years?! So there's no way to escape?

FUCHS: [sighs] Deine Freizeit. Ist kaputt!

FUCHS: Fire! [shell whistling]

FUCHS: Gott I'm Himmel!

FUCHS: Ja, ja. Schiesse diese Scheiße!

FUCHS: Nun beeile dich!

FUCHS: Okay! Listen up!

FUCHS: Schmidt! Was dauert so Lange?

FUCHS: Schmidt?

FUCHS: That is very strange.

FUCHS: That is very strange.

FUCHS: Well, then what are you waiting for?

FUCHS: Zwei Männer, gehen und finden Schmidt.

Germany helps my people overthrow the French.

Get her nosy beak all up in it and the next thing you know,

Get ready to die.

Get your big ass out of this goddamn quicksand

Getting shot down by that son of a bitch Ziegler.

Give me that. Oh, my God.

Go loot their corpses for schnapps.

Go to the beauty parlor, get a new dress...

God, no, they were all so drunk they thought

God...

God... Archer!

Goddamn it, you're right. And so...

Goddamn it!

Goddamn it! Eat a dick, cannibals.

Goddamn it.

Goddamn it. [laughing]

Goddamn it. [laughing]

Goddamn it. Goddamn it!

Got us out of a bad situation instead of deeper in it.

Gott I'm Himmel!

Gottverdammt, woman!

Grab the idol, and then come back and save them?

Guys, come on, you're talking crazy.

Half of his half, that's his business, but...

Halfway around the world? I mean, what're the odds?

Hallo, Archer. Heh. You are flying a garbage truck now?

Hang on, I had something for th...

Hang on! Wait! Stop it!

Hang on... [speaking under breath]

Happy?! You thought I'd be happy? I oughta...

Has a massive yet painless brain aneurysm

He has got another thing... [gasps]

He is strictly off limits. And if I catch you sniffing around...

He says somewhere in this area here,

He wants to know why you stuffed your genitals into a coconut.

He's gonna flimflam Princess Lanaluakalani,

He's right. We can't do this forever. [Grunts]

Heh. Right?

Heh. Who taught you how to shoot, your husband?

Hello, Japan? Hi, yeah. So listen...

Hello? Hello?!

Here, take this down to the shop and tell Mister Wong

Hey, are you gonna eat those potatoes

Hey, buddy, no shit, she will kill you

Hey, but what I could do is use the radio in the plane to...

Hey, can you please tell him to move?

Hey, shouldn't we, um, go make sure

Hey, wake up. [Ziegler snoring]

Hey, you know, people eat birds all the time.

Hey. Hey, come on. Knock it off. I I I'm sorry.

Hey... Because we wanna hire her.

Hidden among my great grandfather's papers...

Hier kommt der Zug in den Bahnhof!

Higher top speed, higher ceiling, tighter turn,

Hmm. I wonder how much Japan would pay...

Hmm. Is it good?

Hmm. Well, that doesn't do us much good.

Hmmm... I wonder if that idol's worth anything.

Holy shitsnacks!

Hopefully howler monkeys?

How do you know he's gonna eat here?

How does he even know where to look?

How is everything your fault? Ow!

How is that my fault? Ow.

How mad you'd be that I shit on the sofa!

Huh? [screams]

Huh? What what...? Wait, where am I?

Huh. [frog croaks]

Huh... [Mua Mua chanting]

Huzza... wuzza...

I also overheard you mention something about hidden treasure?

I always found it ironic that

I am gonna burn down your goddamn hotel!

I am starving.

I bet it's a gold monkey!

I bet it's worth millions!

I brought you some more brandy, but it looks like

I can pretty much guarantee they don't have either of those things.

I can't believe I got you to say that.

I can't punch an old lady in... ow!

I cannot wait to find that verdammt idol

I catch the rope, I hold onto the rope.

I could've found that stupid idol and been halfway

I didn't mean that. I I just meant...

I do one of your stupid ideas. There. Happy?

I don't care if it's in ergs.

I don't hate to be around.

I don't hate to be around.

I don't know all his goddamn books!

I don't know all his goddamn books!

I don't know why you're so pissed,

I don't know, a minute ago.

I don't know, I guess all of it? [liquid splashing]

I don't know, jump on the handle!

I don't know. In the jungle, the princess and the kraut

I don't know. It might scare them off.

I forbid it. As princess, I forbid the looting

I guess we do kind of make a pretty great team.

I honestly wouldn't even know where to start.

I I can read any native petroglyphs we might find.

I I don't get it. They were right here, up to their necks in it!

I I don't, I don't have to wear one of those, do I?

I I mean... I I don't know.

I I... I think she was on the fence.

I I'm here to document. I can't interfere.

I just... all these people put their trust in me,

I knew it, those damn cannibals have taken Schmidt.

I know what you think I mean. I mean I... [groans softly]

I mean everybody, all of them... to fight.

I mean, first Pam mentions treasure

I mean, I've been here almost four years now, so...

I mean, is that goose bumps or what?

I mean, it is no "Weir of Hermiston," but...

I mean, it's not like we were a couple.

I mean, that's like science physics.

I mean... [gasps] No, not in a...

I must replenish my Lebenskraft. [involuntary shudder]

I must, uh, replenish my lebenskraft.

I must've hit his fuel tank!

I owe you a drink, you have made me famous.

I packed for a honeymoon, not a...

I really hope are at least 18,

I said blot! Why didn't you blot?!

I say bring her along. With any luck,

I shot maybe ten German bastards.

I should be in the air, like a reconnaissance plane.

I swear to God, if those cannibals don't have a bar,

I tell you, this is the last straw!

I tell you, this time, I shall really punish her!

I think I am. Hauptmann Ziegler.

I think if I tell him to, he'll eat you.

I think it was something.

I think my electrolyte levels are low.

I think we maybe could've spent a little more time

I think you made some sort of deal with this ese Mai fafo,

I thought I was Red Thr... Oh.

I want you to fly in there, and then meet us at the front door.

I was a stranger and you banged me for free.

I was going to ask how to get

I was gonna say I wonder what I'm gonna taste like.

I was gonna say that they don't eat the penis.

I was gonna shoot Ziegler, you may not remember this

I was saving that for a whole big girlie treat day for myself.

I went bust on those goddamn chinchilladas.

I will have a crispy golden Belgian waffle,

I won't be making on Archer Airways,

I would do literally anything to be rid of them.

I would think your affinity would lie with the United States.

I, uh, probably shouldn't have said anything, huh?

I, uh... commandeer this véhicule!

I... can we talk about this later?

I... look, you're gonna miss me

I... wait. Crackers.

I'll be the judge of that. [unzips zipper]

I'll tell you what's embarrassing,

I'm an anthropologist.

I'm doing my doctoral dissertation on the Mua Mua.

I'm gonna go in there... Actually, no, wait...

I'm gonna miss that dopey confidence

I'm gonna shoot their leader with it,

I'm mad enough at you as it is.

I'm pretty sure the asshole is gone,

I'm sorry. It just hurts to hear your best friend

I'm talking about where you voluntarily eat a guy

I'm with her. First we secure the idol,

I've decided that from now on, I'm keeping all of it.

Ich muss mit deinem Kapitän sprechen.

If I can just scrooch down the pole, I can...

If I can tie the rope around this heavy branch,

If I drown in this goddamn quicksand.

If if I did ask you to marry me someday,

If my father hears you, he'll cut your balls off!

If these big lugs gamble and screw as much as they drink, I can retire!

If we do, it's only because I unleashed the power of obsidian.

If we get out of here alive... [grunts]

If you don't get murdered, maybe you can move here

If you had fixed the goddamn fuel pump!

If you really want to get bent over, just ask a missionary.

If you think there is some treasure hidden somewhere on the island.

If you were maybe writing this down.

If you'd ever put on some makeup or a dress.

If, say, they ever declared war on America?

If, when the time comes,

In a dogfight, in evenly matched planes!

In a tired ass Russian biplane, when you lousy krauts are

In exchange for enough money to go live among the papalangi

In fact, it was wildly unnecessary.

In foot pounds, or newton metres, or...

In New York City again and open another... [snaps] What was it?

In order join the royal guards, when they're 12 years old,

In the whole world say it's just been a big fat waste of time

In which I've made a major investment...

Including, look, there's a piece of, uh, whatchamacallit. Ob Obsidian.

Into whatever money the idol's worth thanks to Pam, so no.

Is getting slaughtered by a bunch of Nazi storm troopers.

Is out there looking for the idol?

Is some of the finest fur you can buy!

Is that unless you want Manu to scramble your eggs...

Is to shoot things coming at us from beh...

It better not be chinchilladas!

It doesn't mean people wanna eat it.

It doesn't mean people wanna eat it.

It happens to be a duffel bag!

It happens to be a large brown suitcase, Pam.

It has also another meaning

It is idiom?

It is interesting, I notice zat, even in the throes of passion,

It is transactional.

It means Dead Man's Cove.

It means there's a problem with your arithmetic.

It means... goddess.

It sounds like howler monkeys,

It took three months to get new tubes for the damn radio.

It took three months to get new tubes for the damn radio.

It was pretty good!

It wasn't because of the gun.

It wasn't fair! I was in a biplane!

It'll give you ball cancer. I had an uncle once,

It'll take us right to the idol.

It's a bit like a phlegm sangria. [man groans nearby]

It's brown sugar and ketchup.

It's easy when you sneak up on people.

It's funny you say that.

It's just something we're doing. Mmm, I forget why.

It's not supposed to be sexy, it's protective. In case there's thorns.

It's probably free at the glue factory,

Ja ja, it was indeed terrible.

Ja, and maybe poison arrows.

Ja, ja. Komm runter, Junge.

Jésus, tu es Le pire putain. [screaming]

Jesus, you are the [bleep] worst.

Just packed with deadly booby traps.

Just set old Lucy down in Dead Man's Cove.

Just so I could eat her, so maybe... I don't know.

Ketak. Ketakalak. [yelling]

Kind of beer made from some jungle fruit

KING: Where in the...?

Knock it off, you licknuts.

Know how to find a million dollar treasure.

Kokatu!

Kokatu! Kokatu!

Komm schon! [Body thuds, thumps] Du doof Schlampe!

Kringle. State pastry of Wisconsin?

Kringles.

Kusta dugu!

La rue! La rue!

Lakundu! Lakundu!

LANA: No. No, no. Uh uh.

Let me guess. Did you annoy him to death?

Let's go, let's see the goods.

Let's let her sleep.

Like a Christmas goddamn goose?!

Like he's heard of the treasure?

Like he's just damn dinner. Or a woman.

Like if there's a native legend or something.

Like in the book by Robert Louis Stevenson?

Like radish roses, or Pam running her fat mouth.

Like the Donner Party or whatever.

Literally? Or figuratively?

Lives in a barrel now,

Look, there's a ton of footprints around here.

Look, there's boot prints coming up out of the quicksand.

Luckily, there is a Kriegsmarine transport nearby, heading for Nauru.

Made out of literal garbage, and before that,

Making piña coladas.

MALORY: And can we stop and rest a while?

MALORY: As whose princess?

MALORY: Then let's go. Come on, Lady Baltimore.

MALORY: Well? Where the hell are they, bird?

MALORY: Who the hell taught you how to drive?!

Man. So the guy who shot you down all those times,

Manu, dear, could I borrow you?

Maybe it was a little ahead of its time, but...

Maybe some of the chubbier kids,

Me? Who the hell taught him how to drive?

Mein Gott. Are you serious?

Men, women, and...

Merde! Doudou, devrions nous courir?

Million to one shot, but I did it! I finally beat Ziegler!

Mm hmm, mm hmm. Zuri gotiak boroka.

Mm hmm. [sips]

Mm mmm!

Mon dieu, can it be Les cannibales?

Mother, this is the cannibal chief.

MUA MUA: [chanting] Kalua... Kalua... Kalua...

My eyeball got shot out in Spain, and before that,

My government will pay one hundred thousand Reichsmarks

Nazi sons of bitches.

Nein, nein, nein, nein! Scheißkopf!

Nein! Nein!

Nik andu.

No idol, no money, no fruit. [groans]

No need, that's just The King Leopold.

No one cares.

No, I meant my wardrobe!

No, I think we're getting close to a village or something.

No, I... Wait, how are you here?!

No, I'm sure it was... I swear, if that girl...

No, no, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no, no, no. I couldn't do that.

No, no, no, no, they they don't mean you.

No, not... It's for after dinner.

No, we are gonna beat Archer to it.

No! Not a gold monkey!

No! Whoa! First of all, I am...

No. Ask him about the treasure.

No. Fire!

No. I was never a couple with anybody

No. Why'd you say you'd miss me?

Noah, how do you say "mignonette"?

Noah, shut up... then I'm pretty sure we can expect

NOAH: [chanting] Death to whites. No offense.

NOAH: Mm hmm, mm hmm. He says you saved their lives,

NOAH: Oh, fun fact: even though they serve those

Nobody else pissed in their pants.

Nobody's gonna sneak up on me now.

None of your beeswax. Wait. Where were you going?

Nope. [sighs]

Norm, always pissed off and... Whoops!

Not a whole person, asshole.

Not just for me, Pam. For America.

Not only. Monkeys live everywhere.

Not the word, Poindexter.

Not this one. Don't eat that!

Nothing, not cannibals, not zose verdammt lizards,

Now are there any other questions?

Now can you please use

Now move it, big boy.

Now then, I believe there was some mention of a pencil?

Now, how about a little frühstück,

Now, I don't know what you studied

Of assholes. Now get out your shitty map

Of Mitimotu's cultural artifacts by you, you... Europeans!

Of the awesome power of the tupua,

Of the quicksand, and I don't know if that's expressed

Of your bullshit as I am.

Oh ho, I'm at the head of it.

Oh, about one kilo, on average.

Oh, but that makes our relationship sound so transactional.

Oh, come on! He has no testicles.

Oh, do not listen to them, their pockets are stuffed with back pay.

Oh, go eat worms. Come on, Reynaud,

Oh, gosh. I mean...

Oh, I I'm hiding under this corpse.

Oh, it's the same. "Mignonette."

Oh, ja, ich habe eine großen Bleistift...

Oh, Jesus Christ. Are you talking about...

Oh, man. Are feasts not the best?

Oh, my God, and if you see any oysters, we have to stop.

Oh, my God, Elisha Otis,

Oh, my God, it's up to my mouth.

Oh, my God, you are such a Lennie.

Oh, my God. First of all, we...

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay, let me think.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. [machine gun firing]

Oh, no, sorry. Kokatu. Kokatu.

Oh, no, they're totally cannibals, but we've temporarily

Oh, now! Sorry. Uh, atzera! Atzera!

Oh, okay! So it's all my fault!

Oh, please. What do you think we're doing here?

Oh, sarcasm. Well, then I'll just have champagne.

Oh, shit!

Oh, shut up! C'mon, if anybody

Oh, so now we're just camping?!

Oh, wait, so's that.

Oh, well, isn't that a change?!

Oh, yeah. No, I'm fine, I'm good, I'm totally good, I'm...

Oh, yeah. No, I'm fine, I'm good, I'm totally good, I'm...

Oh, yes, yes. Of course.

Oh, you mean since the night he defiled my young, supple body,

Oh, you're welcome.

Oh! Ooh! W Whoa. [splash]

Oh! Ziegleeer!

Oh. But we are just here as tourists!

Oh. Oh!

Oh. So, hey, Archer, please let me buy you that drink, eh?

Oh. That's because I was sent away to boarding in the States

Oh. Uh, okay. Uh, well, I got to go.

Oh. Well, yeah... I mean, that's normal.

Oh. Yeah.

Okay, change of plans, you're coming with us.

Okay, Crackers, this is where you come in...

Okay, I'm gonna have to rappel down.

Okay, Noah, tell the chief

Okay, Noah. You're gonna go back to the States,

Okay, so... okay, so, the thing is...

Okay, then here goes!

Okay, well, as long as I get the credit

Okay. All right, all right. So, um, criticisms.

Okay. God. And it's not a shitty map.

On if you think 35 bucks is a lot.

On oyster shells, they're actually human testicles.

On Swedish bikini models.

On this gottverlassen island?

Ona gudari!

Ona lanara!

Once we find this damn idol... [screaming]

One time, I saw a monkey in a bar, in Paris, France, Europe.

Ooh, or a teenage girl.

Ooh, Scandals, that sounds fun, huh?

Ooh!

Ooh. But not as much as that map.

Or discovering the one culture on Earth

Or otherwise obt... [gunshot]

Or whenever. And why the hell are you in here?!

Or whenever. And why the hell are you in here?!

Or, I could have the Germans rip up

Où, Doudou, où?

Out of any bird, way before you start cooking...

Over the jungle... Oh, for... I assume it's in the jungle.

Ow! Well, I, for one, am starving,

Ow! What the...?

Pam, get your head outta your ass!

Pam, shut up. What are you doing here?

PAM: Jesus, talk about foreshadowing.

PAM: So, where do you think everybody went?

PAM: Well, she did before you crashed her into a goddamn street

Pam! I'm currently up to my ears in quicksand!

Pass them out. [cheering]

Payable only once we have secured the idol.

Perhaps we could pay... five hundred thousand?

Please, I can't leave without my dissertation.

Plus you also have to overcome the suction power

Plus, I had to make the paper from scratch.

Plus, the fur farms practically gave us the meat for free.

Plus, this?

Poopoo! Poopoo!

Population you!

Pozo Pamu.

Practicing actual combat and a little less making the Nazi logs.

Pretty muscular, by the looks of them.

Probably eaten one of your Kameraden.

Probably on, like, a pole or something.

Probably won't get credit for that, either.

Quicksand. Pam, too.

Really helping me focus.